byAristophanesanonymoustranslatorCHARACTERSINTHEPLAY
LYSISTRATA
CLEONICE
MYRRHINE
LAMPITO
MAGISTRATES
CINESIAS
CHILDOFCINESIAS
HERALDOFTHELACEDAEMONIANS
ENVOYSOFTHELACEDAEMONIANS
ANATHENIANCITIZEN
CHORUSOFOLDMEN
CHORUSOFWOMEN
LYSISTRATA
LYSISTRATA
（SCENE：—AtthebaseoftheOrchestraaretwobuildings，thehouseofLYSISTRATAandtheentrancetotheAcropolis；awindingandnarrowpathleadsuptothelatter。BetweenthetwobuildingsistheopeningoftheCaveofPan。LYSISTRATAispacingupanddowninfrontofherhouse。）
LYSISTRATA
Ah！ifonlytheyhadbeeninvitedtoaBacchicrevelling，orafeastofPanorAphroditeorGenetyllis，why！thestreetswouldhavebeenimpassableforthethrongingtambourines！Nowthere’sneverawomanhere—ah！exceptmyneighbourCleonice，whomIseeapproachingyonder……Goodday，Cleonice。
CLEONICE
Goodday，Lysistrata；butpray，whythisdark，forbiddingface，mydear？Believeme，youdon’tlookabitprettywiththoseblackloweringbrows。
LYSISTRATA
Oh，Cleonice，myheartisonfire；Iblushforoursex。Menwillhaveitwearetrickyandsly……
CLEONICE
Andtheyarequiteright，uponmyword！
LYSISTRATA
Yet，lookyou，whenthewomenaresummonedtomeetforamatterofthegreatestimportance，theylieinbedinsteadofcoming。
CLEONICE
Oh！theywillcome，mydear；butit’snoteasy，youknow，forwomentoleavethehouse。Oneisbusypotteringaboutherhusband；
anotherisgettingtheservantup；athirdisputtingherchildasleeporwashingthebratorfeedingit。
LYSISTRATA
ButItellyou，thebusinessthatcallsthemhereisfarandawaymoreurgent。
CLEONICE
Andwhydoyousummonus，dearLysistrata？Whatisitallabout？
LYSISTRATA
Aboutabigthing。
CLEONICE（takingthisinadifferentsense；withgreatinterest）
Andisitthicktoo？
LYSISTRATA
Yes，verythick。
CLEONICE
Andwearenotallonthespot！Imagine！
LYSISTRATA（wearily）
Oh！ifitwerewhatyousuppose，therewouldbeneveranabsentee。
No，no，itconcernsathingIhaveturnedaboutandaboutthiswayandthatsomanysleeplessnights。
CLEONICE（stillunabletobeserious）
Itmustbesomethingmightyfineandsubtleforyoutohaveturneditaboutso！
LYSISTRATA
Sofine，itmeansjustthis，Greecesavedbythewomen！
CLEONICE
Bythewomen！Why，itssalvationhangsonapoorthreadthen！
LYSISTRATA
Ourcountry’sfortunesdependonus—itiswithustoundoutterlythePeloponnesians。
CLEONICE
Thatwouldbeanobledeedtruly！
LYSISTRATA
ToexterminatetheBoeotianstoaman！
CLEONICE
Butsurelyyouwouldsparetheeels。
LYSISTRATA
ForAthens’sakeIwillneverthreatensofelladoom；trustmeforthat。However，iftheBoeotianandPeloponnesianwomenjoinus，Greeceissaved。
CLEONICE
Buthowshouldwomenperformsowiseandgloriousanachievement，wewomenwhodwellintheretirementofthehousehold，cladindiaphanousgarmentsofyellowsilkandlongflowinggowns，deckedoutwithflowersandshodwithdaintylittleslippers？
LYSISTRATA
Ah，butthosearetheverysheet—anchorsofoursalvation—thoseyellowtunics，thosescentsandslippers，thosecosmeticsandtransparentrobes。
CLEONICE
Howso，pray？
LYSISTRATA
Thereisnotamanwillwieldalanceagainstanother……
CLEONICE
Quick，Iwillgetmeayellowtunicfromthedyer’s。
LYSISTRATA……orwantashield。
CLEONICE
I’llrunandputonaflowinggown。
LYSISTRATA……ordrawasword。
CLEONICE
I’llhasteandbuyapairofslippersthisinstant。
LYSISTRATA
Nowtellme，wouldnotthewomenhavedonebesttocome？
CLEONICE
Why，theyshouldhaveflownhere！
LYSISTRATA
Ah！mydear，you’llseethatliketrueAthenians，theywilldoeverythingtoolate……Why，there’snotawomancomefromtheshore，notonefromSalamis。
CLEONICE
ButIknowforcertaintheyembarkedatdaybreak。
LYSISTRATA
AndthedamesfromAcharnae！why，Ithoughttheywouldhavebeentheveryfirsttoarrive。
CLEONICE
Theagenes’wifeatanyrateissuretocome；shehasactuallybeentoconsultHecate……Butlook！herearesomearrivals—andtherearemorebehind。Ah！ha！nowwhatcountrywomenmaytheybe？
LYSISTRATA
TheyarefromAnagyra。
CLEONICE
Yes！uponmyword，’tisalevyenmasseofallthefemalepopulationofAnagyra！
（MYRRHINEenters，followedbyotherwomen。）
MYRRHINE
Arewelate，Lysistrata？Tellus，pray；what，notaword？
LYSISTRATA
Icannotsaymuchforyou，Myrrhine！youhavenotbestirredyourselfovermuchforanaffairofsuchurgency。
MYRRHINE
Icouldnotfindmygirdleinthedark。However，ifthematterissopressing，hereweare；sospeak。
CLEONICE
No，let’swaitamomentmore，tillthewomenofBoeotiaarriveandthosefromthePeloponnese。
LYSISTRATA
Yes，thatisbest……Ah！herecomesLampito。（LAMPITO，ahuskySpartandamsel，enterswiththreeothers，twofromBoeotiaandonefromCorinth。）Goodday，Lampito，dearfriendfromLacedaemon。Howwellandhandsomeyoulook！whatarosycomplexion！andhowstrongyouseem；why，youcouldstrangleabullsurely！
LAMPITO
Yes，indeed，IreallythinkIcould。It’sbecauseIdogymnasticsandpractisethebottom—kickingdance。
CLEONICE（openingLAMPITO’Srobeandbaringherbosom）
Andwhatsuperbbreasts！
LAMPITO
La！youarefeelingmeasifIwereabeastforsacrifice。
LYSISTRATA
Andthisyoungwoman，whereisshefrom？
LAMPITO
SheisanobleladyfromBoeotia。
LYSISTRATA
Ah！myprettyBoeotianfriend，youareasbloomingasagarden。
CLEONICE（makinganotherinspection）
Yes，onmyword！andher\"garden\"issothoroughlyweededtoo！
LYSISTRATA（pointingtotheCorinthian）
Andwhoisthis？
LAMPITO
’Tisanhonestwoman，bymyfaith！shecomesfromCorinth。
CLEONICE
Oh！honest，nodoubtthen—ashonestygoesatCorinth。
LAMPITO
Butwhohascalledtogetherthiscouncilofwomen，pray？
LYSISTRATA
Ihave。
LAMPITO
Wellthen，telluswhatyouwantofus。
CLEONICE
Yes，pleasetellus！Whatisthisveryimportantbusinessyouwishtoinformusabout？
LYSISTRATA
Iwilltellyou。Butfirstanswermeonequestion。
CLEONICE
Anythingyouwish。
LYSISTRATA
Don’tyoufeelsadandsorrybecausethefathersofyourchildrenarefarawayfromyouwiththearmy？ForI’llwagerthereisnotoneofyouwhosehusbandisnotabroadatthismoment。
CLEONICE
MinehasbeenthelastfivemonthsinThrace—lookingafterEucrates。
MYRRHINE
It’ssevenlongmonthssincemineleftforPylos。
LAMPITO
Asformine，ifheeverdoesreturnfromservice，he’snosoonerhomethanhetakesdownhisshieldagainandfliesbacktothewars。
LYSISTRATA
Andnotsomuchastheshadowofalover！SincethedaytheMilesiansbetrayedus，Ihaveneveronceseenaneight—inchgadgeteven，tobealeathernconsolationtouspoorwidows……Nowtellme，ifIhavediscoveredameansofendingthewar，willyouallsecondme？
CLEONICE
Yesverily，byallthegoddesses，IswearIwill，thoughIhavetoputmygowninpawn，anddrinkthemoneythesameday。
MYRRHINE
AndsowillI，thoughImustbesplitintwolikeaflat—fish，andhavehalfmyselfremoved。
LAMPITO
AndItoo；whytosecurepeace，IwouldclimbtothetopofMountTaygetus。
LYSISTRATA
ThenIwilloutwithitatlast，mymightysecret！Oh！sisterwomen，ifwewouldcompelourhusbandstomakepeace，wemustrefrain……
CLEONICE
Refrainfromwhat？tellus，tellus！
LYSISTRATA
Butwillyoudoit？
MYRRHINE
Wewill，wewill，thoughweshoulddieofit。
LYSISTRATA
Wemustrefrainfromthemalealtogether……Nay，whydoyouturnyourbacksonme？Whereareyougoing？So，youbiteyourlips，andshakeyourheads，eh？Whythesepale，sadlooks？whythesetears？Come，willyoudoit—yesorno？Doyouhesitate？
CLEONICE
Iwillnotdoit，letthewargoon。
MYRRHINE
NorwillI；letthewargoon。
LYSISTRATA（toMYRRHINE）
Andyousaythis，myprettyflat—fish，whodeclaredjustnowtheymightsplityouintwo？
CLEONICE
Anything，anythingbutthat！Bidmegothroughthefire，ifyouwill，—buttorobusofthesweetestthinginalltheworld，Lysistratadarling！
LYSISTRATA（toMYRRHINE）
Andyou？
MYRRHINE
Yes，Iagreewiththeothers；Itoowouldsoonergothroughthefire。
LYSISTRATA
Oh，wanton，vicioussex！thepoetshavedonewelltomaketragediesuponus；wearegoodfornothingthenbutloveandlewdness！
Butyou，mydear，youfromhardySparta，ifyoujoinme，allmayyetbewell；helpme，secondme，Ibegyou。
LAMPITO
’Tisahardthing，bythetwogoddessesitis！forawomantosleepalonewithouteverastrongmaleinherbed。Butthere，peacemustcomefirst。
LYSISTRATA
Oh，mydarling，mydearest，bestfriend，youaretheonlyonedeservingthenameofwoman！
CLEONICE
Butif—whichthegodsforbid—wedorefrainaltogetherfromwhatyousay，shouldwegetpeaceanysooner？
LYSISTRATA
Ofcourseweshould，bythegoddessestwain！Weneedonlysitindoorswithpaintedcheeks，andmeetourmateslightlycladintransparentgownsofAmorgossilk，andperfectlydepilated；theywillgettheirtoolsupandbewildtoliewithus。Thatwillbethetimetorefuse，andtheywillhastentomakepeace，Iamconvincedofthat！
LAMPITO
Yes，justasMenelaus，whenhesawHelen’snakedbosom，threwawayhissword，theysay。
CLEONICE
But，ohdear，supposeourhusbandsgoawayandleaveus。
LYSISTRATA
Then，asPherecratessays，wemust\"flayaskinneddog，\"that’sall。
CLEONICE
Fiddlesticks！theseproverbsareallidletalk……Butifourhusbandsdragusbymainforceintothebedchamber？
LYSISTRATA
Holdontothedoorposts。
CLEONICE
Butiftheybeatus？
LYSISTRATA
Thenyieldtotheirwishes，butwithabadgrace；thereisnopleasureinitforthem，whentheydoitbyforce。Besides，thereareathousandwaysoftormentingthem。Neverfear，they’llsoontireofthegame；there’snosatisfactionforaman，unlessthewomansharesit。
CLEONICE
Verywell，ifyoumusthaveitso，weagree。
LAMPITO
Forourselves，nodoubtweshallpersuadeourhusbandstoconcludeafairandhonestpeace；butthereistheAthenianpopulace，howarewetocurethesefolkoftheirwarlikefrenzy？
LYSISTRATA
Havenofear；weundertaketomakeourownpeoplelistentoreason。
LAMPITO
That’simpossible，solongastheyhavetheirtrustyshipsandthevasttreasuresstoredinthetempleofAthene。
LYSISTRATA
Ah！butwehaveseentothat；thisverydaytheAcropoliswillbeinourhands。Thatisthetaskassignedtotheolderwomen；whilewearehereincouncil，theyaregoing，underpretenceofofferingsacrifice，toseizethecitadel。
LAMPITO
Wellsaidindeed！everythingisgoingforthebest。
LYSISTRATA
Come，quick，Lampito，andletusbindourselvesbyaninviolableoath。
LAMPITO
Recitetheterms；wewillsweartothem。
LYSISTRATA
Withpleasure。WhereisourScythianpolicewoman？Now，whatareyoustaringat，pray？Laythisshieldontheearthbeforeus，itshollowupwards，andsomeonebringmethevictim’sinwards。
CLEONICE
Lysistrata，say，whatoatharewetoswear？
LYSISTRATA
Whatoath？Why，inAeschylus，theysacrificeasheep，andswearoverabuckler；wewilldothesame。
CLEONICE
No，Lysistrata，onecannotswearpeaceoverabuckler，surely。
LYSISTRATA
Whatotheroathdoyouprefer？
CLEONICE
Let’stakeawhitehorse，andsacrificeit，andswearonitsentrails。
LYSISTRATA
Butwhereshallwegetawhitehorse？
CLEONICE
Well，whatoathshallwetakethen？
LYSISTRATA
Listentome。Let’ssetagreatblackbowlontheground；let’ssacrificeaskinofThasianwineintoit，andtakeoathnottoaddonesingledropofwater。
LAMPITO
Ah！that’sanoathpleasesmemorethanIcansay。
LYSISTRATA
Letthembringmeabowlandaskinofwine。
CLEONICE
Ah！mydears，whatanoblebigbowl！whatfunitwillbetoemptyitLYSISTRATA
Setthebowldownontheground，andlayyourhandsonthevictim……Almightygoddess，Persuasion，andthou，bowl，booncomradeofjoyandmerriment，receivethisoursacrifice，andbepropitioustouspoorwomen！
CLEONICE（asLYSISTRATApoursthewineintothebowl）
Oh！thefineredblood！howwellitflows！
LAMPITO
Andwhatadeliciousbouquet，byCastor！
CLEONICE
Now，mydears，letmeswearfirst，ifyouplease。
LYSISTRATA
No，byAphrodite，unlessit’sdecidedbylot。Butcome，then，Lampito，andallofyou，putyourhandstothebowl；anddoyou，Cleonice，repeatforalltherestthesolemntermsIamgoingtorecite。Thenyoumustallswear，andpledgeyourselvesbythesamepromises，—Iwillhavenaughttodowhetherwithloverorhusband……
CLEONICE（faintly）
Iwillhavenaughttodowhetherwithloverorhusband……
LYSISTRATA
Albeithecometomewithanerection……
CLEONICE（hervoicequavering）
Albeithecometomewithanerection……（indespair）Oh！
Lysistrata，Icannotbearit！
LYSISTRATA（ignoringthisoutburst）
Iwillliveathomeunbulled……
CLEONICE
Iwillliveathomeunbulled……
LYSISTRATA
Beautifullydressedandwearingasaffron—colouredgownCLEONICE
Beautifullydressedandwearingasaffron—colouredgown……
LYSISTRATA
TotheendImayinspiremyhusbandwiththemostardentlongings。
CLEONICE
TotheendImayinspiremyhusbandwiththemostardentlongings。
LYSISTRATA
NeverwillIgivemyselfvoluntarily……
CLEONICE
NeverwillIgivemyselfvoluntarily……
LYSISTRATA
Andifhehasmebyforce……
CLEONICE
Andifhehasmebyforce……
LYSISTRATA
Iwillbecoldasice，andneverstiralimb……
CLEONICE
Iwillbecoldasice，andneverstiralimb……
LYSISTRATA
IwillneitherextendmyPersianslipperstowardtheceiling……
CLEONICE
IwillneitherextendmyPersianslipperstowardtheceiling……
LYSISTRATA
NorwillIcrouchlikethecarvenlionsonaknife—handle。
CLEONICE
NorwillIcrouchlikethecarvenlionsonaknife—handle。
LYSISTRATA
AndifIkeepmyoath，mayIbesufferedtodrinkofthiswine。
CLEONICE（morecourageously）
AndifIkeepmyoath，mayIbesufferedtodrinkofthiswine。
LYSISTRATA
ButifIbreakit，letmybowlbefilledwithwater。
CLEONICE
ButifIbreakit，letmybowlbefilledwithwater。
LYSISTRATA
Willyoualltakethisoath？
ALL
Wedo。
LYSISTRATA
ThenI’llnowconsumethisremnant。
（Shedrinks。）
CLEONICE（reachingforthecup）
Enough，enough，mydear；nowletusalldrinkinturntocementourfriendship。
（Theypassthecuparoundandalldrink。Agreatcommotionisheardoffstage。）
LAMPITO
Listen！whatdothosecriesmean？
LYSISTRATA
It’swhatIwastellingyou；thewomenhavejustoccupiedtheAcropolis。Sonow，Lampito，youreturntoSpartatoorganizetheplot，whileyourcomradeshereremainashostages。Forourselves，letusgoandjointherestinthecitadel，andletuspushtheboltswellhome。
CLEONICE
Butdon’tyouthinkthemenwillmarchupagainstus？
LYSISTRATA
Ilaughatthem。Neitherthreatsnorflamesshallforceourdoors；
theyshallopenonlyontheconditionsIhavenamed。
CLEONICE
Yes，yes，byAphrodite；otherwiseweshouldbecalledcowardlyandwretchedwomen。
（ShefollowsLYSISTRATAout。）
（ThesceneshiftstotheentranceoftheAcropolis。TheCHORUS
OFOLDMENslowlyenters，carryingfaggotsandpotsoffire。）
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Goeasy，Draces，goeasy；why，yourshoulderisallchafedbythesedamnedheavyolivestocks。Butforwardstill，forward，man，asneedsmust。
FIRSTSEMI—CHORUSOFOLDMEN（singing）
Whatunlooked—forthingsdohappen，tobesure，inalonglife！
Ah！Strymodorus，whowouldeverhavethoughtit？Herewehavethewomen，whoused，forourmisfortune，toeatourbreadandliveinourhouses，daringnowadaystolayhandsontheholyimageofthegoddess，toseizetheAcropolisanddrawbarsandboltstokeepanyfromentering！
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Come，Philurgus，man，let’shurrythere；let’slayourfaggotsallaboutthecitadel，andontheblazingpileburnwithourhandsthesevileconspiratresses，oneandall—andLycon’swifefirstandforemost！
SECONDSEMI—CHORUSOFOLDMEN（singing）
Nay，byDemeter，neverwillIletthemlaughatme，whilesI
haveabreathleftinmybody。Cleomeneshimself，thefirstwhoeverseizedourcitadel，hadtoquitittohissoredishonour；spitehisLacedaemonianpride，hehadtodelivermeuphisarmsandslinkoffwithasinglegarmenttohisback。Myword！buthewasfilthyandragged！andwhatanunkemptbeard，tobesure！Hehadnothadabathforsixlongyears！
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Oh！butthatwasamightysiege！Ourmenwererangedseventeendeepbeforethegate，andneverlefttheirposts，eventosleep。Thesewomen，theseenemiesofEuripidesandallthegods，shallIdonothingtohindertheirinordinateinsolence？elseletthemteardownmytrophiesofMarathon。
FIRSTSEMI—CHORUSOFOLDMEN（singing）
Butlook，tofinishthistoilsomeclimbonlythislaststeepbitislefttomount。Truly，it’snoeasyjobwithoutbeastsofburden，andhowtheselogsdobruisemyshoulder！Stillletuscarryon，andblowupourfireandseeitdoesnotgooutjustaswereachourdestination。Phew！phew！（Blowingthefire）Oh！dear！whatadreadfulsmoke！
SECONDSEMI—CHORUSOFOLDMEN（singing）
Itbitesmyeyeslikeamaddog。ItisLemnianfireforsure，oritwouldneverdevourmyeyelidslikethis。Comeon，Laches，let’shurry，let’sbringsuccourtothegoddess；it’snowornever！Phew！
phew！（Blowingthefire）Ohdear！whataconfoundedsmoke！
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Therenow，there’sourfireallbrightandburning，thankthegods！Now，whynotfirstputdownourloadshere，thentakeavine—branch，lightitatthebrazierandhurlitatthegatebywayofbattering—ram？Iftheydon’tansweroursummonsbypullingbackthebolts，thenwesetfiretothewoodwork，andthesmokewillchokethem。Yegods！whatasmoke！Pfaugh！IsthereneveraSamiangeneralwillhelpmeunloadmyburden？—Ah！itshallnotgallmyshoulderanymore。（Settingdownthewood）Come，brazier，doyourduty，maketheembersflare，thatImaykindleabrand；Iwanttobethefirsttohurlone。Aidme，heavenlyVictory；letuspunishfortheirinsolentaudacitythewomenwhohaveseizedourcitadel，andmayweraiseatrophyoftriumphforsuccess！
（Theybegintobuildafire。TheCHORUSOFWOMEN
nowenters，carryingpotsofwater。）
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
Oh！mydears，methinksIseefireandsmoke；canitbeaconflagration？Letushurryallwecan。
FIRSTSEMI—CHORUSOFWOMEN（singing）
Fly，fly，Nicodice，ereCalyceandCritylleperishinthefire，orarestifledinthesmokeraisedbytheseaccursedoldmenandtheirpitilesslaws。But，greatgods，canitbeIcometoolate？Risingatdawn，Ihadtheutmosttroubletofillthisvesselatthefountain。
Oh！whatacrowdtherewas，andwhatadin！Whatarattlingofwater—pots！Servantsandslave—girlspushedandthrongedme！
However，hereIhaveitfullatlast；andIamrunningtocarrythewatertomyfellow—townswomen，whomourfoesareplottingtoburnalive。
SECONDSEMI—CHORUSOFWOMEN（singing）
Newshasbeenbroughtusthatacompanyofold，dodderinggrey—beards，loadedwithenormousfaggots，asiftheywantedtoheatafurnace，havetakenthefield，vomitingdreadfulthreats，cryingthattheymustreducetoashesthesehorriblewomen。Sufferthemnot，oh！goddess，but，ofthygrace，mayIseeAthensandGreececuredoftheirwarlikefolly。’Tistothisend，oh！thouguardiandeityofourcity，goddessofthegoldencrest，thattheyhaveseizedthysanctuary。Betheirfriendandally，Athene，andifanymanhurlagainstthemlightedfirebrands，aidustocarrywatertoextinguishthem。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
WhatisthisIsee，yewretchedoldmen？Honestandpiousfolkyecannotbewhoactsovilely。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Ah，ha！here’ssomethingnew！aswarmofwomenstandpostedoutsidetodefendthegates！
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
Fartatus，wouldyou？weseemamightyhost，yetyoudonotseetheten—thousandthpartofoursex。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Ho，Phaedrias！shallwestoptheircackle？Supposeoneofusweretobreakastickacrosstheirbacks，eh？
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
Letussetdownourwater—potsontheground，tobeoutoftheway，iftheyshoulddaretoofferusviolence。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Letsomeoneknockouttwoorthreeteethforthem，astheydidtoBupalus；theywon’ttalksoloudthen。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
Comeonthen；Iwaityouwithunflinchingfoot，andnootherbitchwillevergrabyourballs。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Silence！ormystickwillcutshortyourdays。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
Now，justyoudaretotouchStratylliswiththetipofyourfinger！
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
AndifIbatteryoutopieceswithmyfists，whatwillyoudo？
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
Iwilltearoutyourlungsandentrailswithmyteeth。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Oh！whatacleverpoetisEuripides！howwellhesaysthatwomanisthemostshamelessofanimals。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
Let’spickupourwater—jarsagain，Rhodippe。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Youdamnedwomen，whatdoyoumeantodoherewithyourwater？
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
Andyou，olddeath—in—life，withyourfire？Isittocremateyourself？
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Iamgoingtobuildyouapyretoroastyourfemalefriendsupon。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
AndI，—Iamgoingtoputoutyourfire。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Youputoutmyfire—you？
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
Yes，youshallsoonsee。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Idon’tknowwhatpreventsmefromroastingyouwiththistorch。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
Iamgettingyouabathreadytocleanoffthefilth。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Abathforme，youdirtyslut？
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
Yes，indeed，anuptialbath—teeheelLEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN（turningtohisfollowers）
Doyouhearthat？Whatinsolence！
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
Iamafreewoman，Itellyou。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Iwillmakeyouholdyourtongue，neverfear！
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
Ahha！youshallneversitanymoreamongsttheHeliasts。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN（tohistorch）
Burnoffherhairforher！
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN（toherpot）
Achelous，doyourduty！
（Thewomenpitchthewaterintheirwater—potsovertheoldmen。）
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Oh，dear！oh，dear！oh，dear！
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
Wasithot？
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Hot，greatgods！Enough，enough！
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
I’mwateringyou，tomakeyoubloomafresh。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Alas！Iamtoodry！Ah，mehow！howIamtremblingwithcold！
（AMAGISTRATEenters，withafewScythianpolicemen。）
MAGISTRATE
Thesewomen，havetheymadedinenough，Iwonder，withtheirtambourines？beweptAdonisenoughupontheirterraces？Iwaslisteningtothespeecheslastassemblyday，andDemostratus，whomheavenconfound！wassayingwemustallgoovertoSicily—andlo！hiswifewasdancingroundrepeating：\"Alas！alas！Adonis，woeismeforAdonis！\"DemostratuswassayingwemustlevyhoplitesatZacynthus—andtherewashiswife，morethanhalfdrunk，screamingonthehouse—roof：
\"Weep，weepforAdonis！\"—whilethatinfamousMadOxwasbellowingawayonhisside。—Doyounotblush，youwomen，foryourwildanduproariousdoings？
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Butyoudon’tknowalltheireffronteryyet！Theyabusedandinsultedus；thensouseduswiththewaterintheirwater—pots，andhavesetuswringingoutourclothes，foralltheworldasifwehadbepissedourselves。
MAGISTRATE
Andwelldonetoo，byPosidon！Wemenmustsharetheblameoftheirillconduct；itiswewhoteachthemtoloveriotanddissolutenessandsowtheseedsofwickednessintheirhearts。Youseeahusbandgointoashop：\"Lookyou，jeweller，\"sayshe，\"yourememberthenecklaceyoumadeformywife。Well，theotherevening，whenshewasdancing，thecatchcameopen。Now，IamboundtostartforSalamis；willyoumakeitconvenienttogoupto—nighttomakeherfasteningsecure？\"Anotherwillgotothecobbler，agreat，strongfellow，withagreat，longtool，andtellhim：\"Thestrapofoneofmywife’ssandalspressesherlittletoe，whichisextremelysensitive；
comeinaboutmiddaytosupplethethingandstretchit。\"Nowseetheresults。Takemyowncase—asaMagistrateIhaveenlistedrowers；Iwantmoneytopaythem，andthewomenslamthedoorinmyface。Butwhydowestandherewitharmscrossed？Bringmeacrowbar；I’llchastisetheirinsolence！—Ho！there，myfinefellow！
（tooneoftheScythians）whatare，yougapingatthecrowsfor？
lookingforatavern，Isuppose，eh？Comeon，bringcrowbarshere，andforceopenthegates。Iwillputahandtotheworkmyself。
LYSISTRATA（openingthegateandwalkingout）
Noneedtoforcethegates；Iamcomingout—hereIam。Andwhyboltsandbars？Whatwewanthereisnotboltsandbarsandlocks，butcommonsense。
MAGISTRATE（jumpingnervously，thenstrivingmanfullytoregainhisdignity）
Really，myfinelady！Whereismyofficer？Iwanthimtotiethatwoman’shandsbehindherback。
LYSISTRATA
ByArtemis，thevirgingoddess！ifhetouchesmewiththetipofhisfinger，officerofthepublicpeacethoughhebe，lethimlookoutforhimself！
（ThefirstScythiandefecatesinterror。）
MAGISTRATE（toanotherofficer）
Hownow，areyouafraid？Seizeher，Itellyou，roundthebody。
Twoofyouather，andhavedonewithit！
CLEONICE
ByPandrosos！ifyoulayahandonher，Illtrampleyouunderfoottillthecrapcomesoutofyou！
（ThesecondScythiandefecatesinterror。）
MAGISTRATE
Lookatthemessyou’vemade！Whereisthereanotherofficer？（TothethirdScythian）Bindthatminxfirst，theonewhospeakssoprettily！
MYRRHINE
ByPhoebe，ifyoutouchherwithonefinger，you’dbettercallquickforasurgeon！
（ThethirdScythiandefecatesinterror。）
MAGISTRATE
What’sthat？Where’stheofficer？（TothefourthScythian）Layholdofher。Oh！butI’mgoingtostopyourfoolishnessforyouallCLEONICE
BytheTauricArtemis，ifyougonearher，I’llpulloutyourhair，screamasyoulike。
（ThefourthScythiandefecatesinterror。）
MAGISTRATE
Ah！miserablemanthatIam！Myownofficersdesertme。Whatho！
arewetoletourselvesbebestedbyamobofwomen？Ho！Scythiansmine，closeupyourranks，andforward！
LYSISTRATA
Bytheholygoddesses！you’llhavetomakeacquaintancewithfourcompaniesofwomen，readyforthefrayandwellarmedtoboot。
MAGISTRATE
Forward，Scythians，andbindthem！
（TheScythiansadvancereluctantly。）
LYSISTRATA
Forward，mygallantcompanions；marchforth，yevendorsofgrainandeggs，garlicandvegetables，keepersoftavernsandbakeries，wrenchandstrikeandtear；come，atorrentofinvectiveandinsult！
（TheybeattheScythianswhoretireinhaste。）Enough，enoughnowretire，neverrobthevanquished！
（Thewomenwithdraw。）
MAGISTRATE
Howunfortunateformyofficers！
LYSISTRATA
Ah，ha！soyouthoughtyouhadonlytodowithasetofslave—women！youdidnotknowtheardourthatfillsthebosomoffree—borndames。
MAGISTRATE
Ardour！yes，byApollo，ardourenough—especiallyforthewine—cup！
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN
Sir，sirwhatgoodarewords？theyareofnoavailwithwildbeastsofthissort。Don’tyouknowhowtheyhavejustwashedusdown—andwithnoveryfragrantsoap！
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
Whatwouldyouhave？Youshouldneverhavelaidrashhandsonus。Ifyoustartafresh，I’llknockyoureyesout。Mydelightistostayathomeascoyasayoungmaid，withouthurtinganybodyormovinganymorethanamilestone；but’warethewasps，ifyougostirringupthewasps’nest！
CHORUSOFOLDMEN（singing）
Ah！greatgods！howgetthebetteroftheseferociouscreatures？
’tispastallbearing！Butcome，letustrytofindoutthereasonofthedreadfulscourge。WithwhatendinviewhavetheyseizedthecitadelofCranaus，thesacredshrinethatisraisedupontheinaccessiblerockoftheAcropolis？
LEADEROFCHORUSOFOLDMEN（totheMAGISTRATE）
Questionthem；becautiousandnottoocredulous。Itwouldbeculpablenegligencenottopiercethemystery，ifwemay。
MAGISTRATE（addressingthewomen）
Iwouldaskyoufirstwhyyouhavebarredourgates。
LYSISTRATA
Toseizethetreasury；nomoremoney，nomorewar。
MAGISTRATE
Thenmoneyisthecauseofthewar？
LYSISTRATA
Andofallourtroubles。ItwastofindoccasiontostealthatPisanderandalltheotheragitatorswereforeverraisingrevolutions。
Wellandgood！butthey’llnevergetanotherdrachmahere。
MAGISTRATE
Whatdoyouproposetodothen，pray？
LYSISTRATA
Youaskmethat！Why，weproposetoadministerthetreasuryourselves。
MAGISTRATE
Youdo？
LYSISTRATA
Whatisthereinthattosurpriseyou？Dowenotadministerthebudgetofhouseholdexpenses？
MAGISTRATE
Butthatisnotthesamething。
LYSISTRATA
Howso—notthesamething？
MAGISTRATE
Itisthetreasurysuppliestheexpensesofthewar。
LYSISTRATA
That’sourfirstprinciple—nowar！
MAGISTRATE
What！andthesafetyofthecity？
LYSISTRATA
Wewillprovideforthat。
MAGISTRATE
You？
LYSISTRATA
Yes，we！
MAGISTRATE
Whatasorrybusiness！
LYSISTRATA
Yes，we’regoingtosaveyou，whetheryoulikeitornot。
MAGISTRATE
Oh！theimpudenceofthecreatures！
LYSISTRATA
Youseemannoyed！butithastobedone，nevertheless。
MAGISTRATE
Butit’stheveryheightofiniquity！
LYSISTRATA（testily）
We’regoingtosaveyou，mygoodman。
MAGISTRATE
ButifIdon’twanttobesaved？
LYSISTRATA
Why，allthemorereason！
MAGISTRATE
Butwhatanotion，toconcernyourselveswithquestionsofpeaceandwar！
LYSISTRATA
Wewillexplainouridea。
MAGISTRATE
Outwithitthen；quick，or……（threateningher）。
LYSISTRATA（sternly）
Listen，andneveramovement，please！
MAGISTRATE（inimpotentrage）
Oh！itistoomuchforme！Icannotkeepmytemper！
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
Thenlookoutforyourself；youhavemoretofearthanwehave。
MAGISTRATE
Stopyourcroaking，youoldcrow！（ToLYSISTRATA）Nowyou，saywhatyouhavetosay。
LYSISTRATA
Willingly。Allthelongtimethewarhaslasted，wehaveenduredinmodestsilenceallyoumendid；youneverallowedustoopenourlips。Wewerefarfromsatisfied，forweknewhowthingsweregoing；
ofteninourhomeswewouldhearyoudiscussing，upsidedownandinsideout，someimportantturnofaffairs。Thenwithsadhearts，butsmilinglips，wewouldaskyou：Well，intoday’sAssemblydidtheyvotepeace？—But，\"Mindyourownbusiness！\"thehusbandwouldgrowl，\"Holdyourtongue，please！\"Andwewouldsaynomore。
CLEONICE
Iwouldnothaveheldmytonguethough，notI！
MAGISTRATE
Youwouldhavebeenreducedtosilencebyblowsthen。
LYSISTRATA
Well，formypart，Iwouldsaynomore。ButpresentlyIwouldcometoknowyouhadarrivedatsomefreshdecisionmorefatallyfoolishthanever。\"Ah！mydearman，\"Iwouldsay，\"whatmadnessnext！\"Buthewouldonlylookatmeaskanceandsay：\"Justweaveyourweb，please；
elseyourcheekswillsmartforhours。Warismen’sbusiness！\"
MAGISTRATE
Bravo！wellsaidindeed！
LYSISTRATA
Hownow，wretchedman？nottoletuscontendagainstyourfollieswasbadenough！Butpresentlyweheardyouaskingoutloudintheopenstreet：\"IsthereneveramanleftinAthens？\"and，\"No，notone，notone，\"youwereassuredinreply。Then，thenwemadeupourmindswithoutmoredelaytomakecommoncausetosaveGreece。Openyourearstoourwisecounselsandholdyourtongues，andwemayyetputthingsonabetterfooting。
MAGISTRATE
Youputthingsindeed！Oh！thisistoomuch！Theinsolenceofthecreatures！
LYSISTRATA
Bestill！
MAGISTRATE
MayIdieathousanddeathsereIobeyonewhowearsaveil！
LYSISTRATA
Ifthat’sallthattroublesyou，here，takemyveil，wrapitroundyourhead，andholdyourtongue。
CLEONICE
Thentakethisbasket；putonagirdle，cardwool，munchbeans。
Thewarshallbewomen’sbusiness。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
Layasideyourwater—pots，wewillguardthem，wewillhelpourfriendsandcompanions。
CHORUSOFWOMEN（singing）
Formyself，Iwillneverwearyofthedance；mykneeswillnevergrowstiffwithfatigue。Iwillbraveeverythingwithmydearallies，onwhomNaturehaslavishedvirtue，grace，boldness，cleverness，andwhosewiselydirectedenergyisgoingtosavetheState。
LEADEROFCHORUSOFWOMEN
Oh！mygood，gallantLysistrata，andallmyfriends，beeverlikeabundleofnettles；neverletyourangerslacken；thewindsoffortuneblowourway。
LYSISTRATA
MaygentleLoveandthesweetCyprianQueenshowerseductivecharmsonourbreastsandourthighs。Ifonlywemaystirsoamorousafeelingamongthementhattheystandasfirmassticks，weshallindeeddeservethenameofpeace—makersamongtheGreeks。
MAGISTRATE
Howwillthatbe，pray？
LYSISTRATA
Tobeginwith，weshallnotseeyouanymorerunninglikemadfellowstotheMarketholdinglanceinfist。
CLEONICE
Thatwillbesomethinggained，anyway，bythePaphiangoddess，itwill！
LYSISTRATA
Nowweseethem，mixedupwithsaucepansandkitchenstuff，armedtotheteeth，lookinglikewildCorybantes！
MAGISTRATE
Why，ofcourse；that’swhatbravemenshoulddo。
LYSISTRATA
Oh！butwhatafunnysight，tobeholdamanwearingaGorgon’s—beadbucklercomingalongtobuyfish！
CLEONICE
TheotherdayintheMarketIsawaphylarchwithflowingringlets；hewasonhorseback，andwaspouringintohishelmetthebrothhehadjustboughtatanolddame’sstill。TherewasaThracianwarriortoo，whowasbrandishinghislancelikeTereusintheplay；hehadscaredagoodwomansellingfigsintoaperfectpanic，andwasgobblingupallherripestfruit—
MAGISTRATE
Andhow，pray，wouldyouproposetorestorepeaceandorderinallthecountriesofGreece？
LYSISTRATA
It’stheeasiestthingintheworld！
MAGISTRATE
Come，tellushow；Iamcurioustoknow。
LYSISTRATA
Whenwearewindingthread，anditistangled，wepassthespoolacrossandthroughtheskein，nowthisway，nowthatway；evenso，tofinishofthewar，weshallsendembassieshitherandthitherandeverywhere，todisentanglematters。
MAGISTRATE
Andisitwithyouryarn，andyourskeins，andyourspools，youthinktoappeasesomanybitterenmities，yousillywomen？
LYSISTRATA
Ifonlyyouhadcommonsense，youwouldalwaysdoinpoliticsthesameaswedowithouryarn。