第4章

thesudden，sweepinggeneralisations，theabsurdirrelevantparticularities，thewit，wisdom，folly，humour，eloquenceandbathos，eachstartlinginitskind，andyetallluminousintheadmireddisorderoftheircombination.Atalkerofadifferentcalibre，thoughbelongingtothesameschool，isBurly.Burlyisamanofagreatpresence;hecommandsalargeratmosphere，givestheimpressionofagrossermassofcharacterthanmostmen.Ithasbeensaidofhimthathispresencecouldbefeltinaroomyouenteredblindfold;andthesame，Ithink，hasbeensaidofotherpowerfulconstitutionscondemnedtomuchphysicalinaction.ThereissomethingboisterousandpiraticinBurly’smanneroftalkwhichsuitswellenoughwiththisimpression.Hewillroaryoudown，hewillburyhisfaceinhishands，hewillundergopassionsofrevoltandagony;andmeanwhilehisattitudeofmindisreallybothconciliatoryandreceptive;andafterPistolhasbeenoutPistol’d，andthewelkinrungforhours，youbegintoperceiveacertainsubsidenceinthesespringtorrents，pointsofagreementissue，andyouendarm—in—arm，andinaglowofmutualadmiration.Theoutcryonlyservestomakeyourfinalunionthemoreunexpectedandprecious.Throughouttherehasbeenperfectsincerity，perfectintelligence，adesiretohearalthoughnotalwaystolisten，andanunaffectedeagernesstomeetconcessions.Youhave，withBurly，noneofthedangersthatattenddebatewithSpring—Heel’dJack;whomayatanymomentturnhispowersoftransmigrationonyourself，createforyouaviewyouneverheld，andthenfuriouslyfallonyouforholdingit.These，atleast，aremytwofavourites，andbothareloud，copious，intoleranttalkers.ThisarguesthatI

myselfaminthesamecategory;forifwelovetalkingatall，weloveabright，fierceadversary，whowillholdhisground，footbyfoot，inmuchourownmanner，sellhisattentiondearly，andgiveusourfullmeasureofthedustandexertionofbattle.Boththesemencanbebeatfromaposition，butittakessixhourstodoit;ahighandhardadventure，worthattempting.Withbothyoucanpassdaysinanenchantedcountryofthemind，withpeople，sceneryandmannersofitsown;livealifeapart，morearduous，activeandglowingthananyrealexistence;andcomeforthagainwhenthetalkisover，asoutofatheatreoradream，tofindtheeastwindstillblowingandthechimney—potsoftheoldbatteredcitystillaroundyou.Jackhasthefarfinermind，Burlythefarmorehonest;Jackgivesustheanimatedpoetry，Burlytheromanticprose，ofsimilarthemes;theoneglanceshighlikeameteorandmakesalightindarkness;theother，withmanychanginghuesoffire，burnsatthesea—level，likeaconflagration;butbothhavethesamehumourandartisticinterests，thesameunquenchedardourinpursuit，thesamegustsoftalkandthunderclapsofcontradiction.

Cockshot（5）isadifferentarticle，butvastlyentertaining，andhasbeenmeatanddrinktomeformanyalongevening.Hismannerisdry，briskandpertinacious，andthechoiceofwordsnotmuch.

Thepointabouthimishisextraordinaryreadinessandspirit.Youcanpropoundnothingbuthehaseitheratheoryaboutitready—

made，orwillhaveoneinstantlyonthestocks，andproceedtolayitstimbersandlaunchitinyourpresence.\"Letmesee，\"hewillsay.\"Givemeamoment.ISHOULDhavesometheoryforthat.\"A

blitherspectaclethanthevigourwithwhichhesetsaboutthetask，itwerehardtofancy.Heispossessedbyademoniacenergy，weldingtheelementsforhislife，andbendingideas，asanathletebendsahorse—shoe，withavisibleandlivelyeffort.Hehas，intheorising，acompass，anart;whatIwouldcallthesyntheticgusto;somethingofaHerbertSpencer，whoshouldseethefunofthething.Youarenotbound，andnomoreishe，toplaceyourfaithinthesebrand—newopinions.Butsomeofthemarerightenough，durableevenforlife;andthepoorestserveforacockshy—aswhenidlepeople，afterpicnics，floatabottleonapondandhaveanhour’sdiversionereitsinks.Whichevertheyare，seriousopinionsorhumoursofthemoment，hestilldefendshisventureswithindefatigablewitandspirit，hittingsavagelyhimself，buttakingpunishmentlikeaman.Heknowsandneverforgetsthatpeopletalk，firstofall，forthesakeoftalking;conductshimselfinthering，tousetheoldslang，likeathorough\"glutton，\"andhonestlyenjoysatellingfacerfromhisadversary.

Cockshotisbottledeffervescency，theswornfoeofsleep.Three—

in—the—morningCockshot，saysavictim.Histalkislikethedriestofallimaginabledrychampagnes.Sleightofhandandinimitablequicknessarethequalitiesbywhichhelives.

Athelred，ontheotherhand，presentsyouwiththespectacleofasincereandsomewhatslownaturethinkingaloud.HeisthemostunreadymanIeverknewtoshineinconversation.Youmayseehimsometimeswrestlewitharefractoryjestforaminuteortwotogether，andperhapsfailtothrowitintheend.Andthereissomethingsingularlyengaging，ofteninstructive，inthesimplicitywithwhichhethusexposestheprocessaswellastheresult，theworksaswellasthedialoftheclock.Withalhehashishoursofinspiration.Aptwordscometohimasifbyaccident，and，comingfromdeeperdown，theysmackthemorepersonally，theyhavethemoreoffineoldcrustedhumanity，richinsedimentandhumour.

Therearesayingsofhisinwhichhehasstampedhimselfintotheverygrainofthelanguage;youwouldthinkhemusthavewornthewordsnexthisskinandsleptwiththem.YetitisnotasasayerofparticulargoodthingsthatAthelredismosttoheregarded，ratherasthestalwartwoodmanofthought.Ihavepulledonalightcordoftenenough，whilehehasbeenwieldingthebroad—axe;

andbetweenus，onthisunequaldivision，manyaspeciousfallacyhasfallen.Ihaveknownhimtobattlethesamequestionnightafternightforyears，keepingitinthereignoftalk，constantlyapplyingitandre—applyingittolifewithhumorousorgraveintention，andallthewhile，neverhurrying，norflagging，nortakinganunfairadvantageofthefacts.Jackatagivenmoment，whenarising，asitwere，fromthetripod，canbemoreradiantlyjusttothosefromwhomhediffers;butthenthetenorofhisthoughtsisevencalumnious;whileAthelred，slowertoforgeexcuses，isyetslowertocondemn，andsitsoverthewelteroftheworld，vacillatingbutstilljudicial，andstillfaithfullycontendingwithhisdoubts.

Boththelasttalkersdealmuchinpointsofconductandreligionstudiedinthe\"drylight\"ofprose.IndirectlyandasifagainsthiswillthesameelementsfromtimetotimeappearinthetroubledandpoetictalkofOpalstein.Hisvariousandexoticknowledge，completealthoughunreadysympathies，andfine，full，discriminativeflowoflanguage，fithimouttobethebestoftalkers;soperhapsheiswithsome，notquitewithme—PROXIME

ACCESSIT，Ishouldsay.Hesingsthepraisesoftheearthandthearts，flowersandjewels，wineandmusic，inamoonlight，serenadingmanner，astothelightguitar;evenwisdomcomesfromhistonguelikesinging;nooneis，indeed，moretunefulintheuppernotes.ButevenwhilehesingsthesongoftheSirens，hestillhearkenstothebarkingoftheSphinx.JarringByronicnotesinterrupttheflowofhisHoratianhumours.Hismirthhassomethingofthetragedyoftheworldforitsperpetualbackground;

andhefeastslikeDonGiovannitoadoubleorchestra，onelightlysoundingforthedance，onepealingBeethoveninthedistance.Heisnottrulyreconciledeitherwithlifeorwithhimself;andthisinstantwarinhismemberssometimesdividestheman’sattention.

Hedoesnotalways，perhapsnotoften，franklysurrenderhimselfinconversation.Hebringsintothetalkotherthoughtsthanthosewhichheexpresses;youareconsciousthathekeepsaneyeonsomethingelse，thathedoesnotshakeofftheworld，norquiteforgethimself.Henceariseoccasionaldisappointments;evenanoccasionalunfairnessforhiscompanions，whofindthemselvesonedaygivingtoomuch，andthenext，whentheyarewaryoutofseason，givingperhapstoolittle.PurcelisinanotherclassfromanyIhavementioned.Heisnodebater，butappearsinconversation，asoccasionrises，intwodistinctcharacters，oneofwhichIadmireandfear，andtheotherlove.Inthefirst，heisradiantlycivilandrathersilent，sitsonahigh，courtlyhilltop，andfromthatvantage—grounddropsyouhisremarkslikefavours.

Heseemsnottoshareinoursublunarycontentions;hewearsnosignofinterest;whenonasuddentherefallsinacrystalofwit，sopolishedthatthedulldonotperceiveit，butsorightthatthesensitivearesilenced.Truetalkshouldhavemorebodyandblood，shouldbelouder，vainerandmoredeclaratoryoftheman;thetruetalkershouldnotholdsosteadyanadvantageoverwhomhespeakswith;andthatisonereasonoutofascorewhyIprefermyPurcelinhissecondcharacter，whenheunbendsintoastrainofgracefulgossip，singinglikethefiresidekettle.InthesemoodshehasaneleganthomelinessthatringsofthetrueQueenAnne.Iknowanotherpersonwhoattains，inhismoments，totheinsolenceofaRestorationcomedy，speaking，Ideclare，asCongrevewrote;butthatisasportofnature，andscarcefallsundertherubric，forthereisnone，alas！togivehimanswer.

Onelastremarkoccurs：Itisthemarkofgenuineconversationthatthesayingscanscarcebequotedwiththeirfulleffectbeyondthecircleofcommonfriends.Tohavetheirproperweighttheyshouldappearinabiography，andwiththeportraitofthespeaker.Goodtalkisdramatic;itislikeanimpromptupieceofactingwhereeachshouldrepresenthimselftothegreatestadvantage;andthatisthebestkindoftalkwhereeachspeakerismostfullyandcandidlyhimself，andwhere，ifyouweretoshiftthespeechesroundfromonetoanother，therewouldbethegreatestlossinsignificanceandperspicuity.Itisforthisreasonthattalkdependssowhollyonourcompany.WeshouldliketointroduceFalstaffandMercutio，orFalstaffandSirToby;butFalstaffintalkwithCordeliaseemsevenpainful.Mostofus，bytheProteanqualityofman，cantalktosomedegreewithall;butthetruetalk，thatstrikesoutalltheslumberingbestofus，comesonlywiththepeculiarbrethrenofourspirits，isfoundedasdeepasloveintheconstitutionofourbeing，andisathingtorelishwithallourenergy，whileyetwehaveit，andtobegratefulforforever.

CHAPTERXI.TALKANDTALKERS（6）

II

INthelastpapertherewasperhapstoomuchaboutmeredebate;andtherewasnothingsaidatallaboutthatkindoftalkwhichismerelyluminousandrestful，ahigherpowerofsilence，thequietoftheeveningsharedbyruminatingfriends.Thereissomething，asidefrompersonalpreference，tobeallegedinsupportofthisomission.Thosewhoarenochimney—cornerers，whorejoiceinthesocialthunderstorm，haveagroundinreasonfortheirchoice.

Theygetlittlerestindeed;butrestfulnessisaqualityforcattle;thevirtuesareallactive，lifeisalert，anditisinreposethatmenpreparethemselvesforevil.Ontheotherhand，theyarebruisedintoaknowledgeofthemselvesandothers;theyhaveinahighdegreethefencer’spleasureindexteritydisplayedandproved;whattheygettheygetuponlife’sterms，payingforitastheygo;andoncethetalkislaunched，theyareassuredofhonestdealingfromanadversaryeagerlikethemselves.Theaboriginalmanwithinus，thecave—dweller，stilllustyaswhenhefoughttoothandnailforrootsandberries，scentsthiskindofequalbattlefromafar;itislikehisoldprimaevaldaysuponthecrags，areturntothesincerityofsavagelifefromthecomfortablefictionsofthecivilised.AndifitbedelightfultotheOldMan，itisnonethelessprofitabletohisyoungerbrother，theconscientiousgentlemanIfeelneverquitesureofyoururbaneandsmilingcoteries;Ifeartheyindulgeaman’svanitiesinsilence，sufferhimtoencroach，encouragehimontobeanass，andsendhimforthagain，notmerelycontemnedforthemoment，butradicallymorecontemptiblethanwhenheentered.ButifIhaveaflushed，blusteringfellowformyopposite，bentoncarryingapoint，myvanityissuretohaveitsearsrubbed，onceatleast，inthecourseofthedebate.Hewillnotsparemewhenwediffer;hewillnotfeartodemonstratemyfollytomyface.

Formanynaturesthereisnotmuchcharminthestill，chamberedsociety，thecircleofblandcountenances，thedigestivesilence，theadmiredremark，theflutterofaffectionateapproval.Theydemandmoreatmosphereandexercise;\"agaleupontheirspirits，\"

asourpiousancestorswouldphraseit;tohavetheirwitswellbreathedinanuproariousValhalla.AndIsuspectthatthechoice，giventheircharacterandfaults，isonetobedefended.Thepurelywisearesilencedbyfacts;theytalkinaclearatmosphere，problemslyingaroundthemlikeaviewinnature;iftheycanbeshowntobesomewhatinthewrong，theydigestthereprooflikeathrashing，andmakebetterintellectualblood.Theystandcorrectedbyawhisper;awordoraglanceremindsthemofthegreateternallaw.Butitisnotsowithall.Othersinconversationseekrathercontactwiththeirfellow—menthanincreaseofknowledgeorclarityofthought.Thedrama，notthephilosophy，oflifeisthesphereoftheirintellectualactivity.

Evenwhentheypursuetruth，theydesireasmuchaspossibleofwhatwemaycallhumansceneryalongtheroadtheyfollow.Theydwellintheheartoflife;thebloodsoundingintheirears，theireyeslayingholdofwhatdelightsthemwithabrutalaviditythatmakesthemblindtoallbesides，theirinterestrivetedonpeople，living，loving，talking，tangiblepeople.Toamanofthisdescription，thesphereofargumentseemsverypaleandghostly.

Byastrongexpression，aperturbedcountenance，floodsoftears，aninsultwhichhisconscienceobligeshimtoswallow，heisbroughtroundtoknowledgewhichnosyllogismwouldhaveconveyedtohim.Hisownexperienceissovivid，heissosuperlativelyconsciousofhimself，thatif，dayafterday，heisallowedtohectorandhearnothingbutapprovingechoes，hewilllosehisholdonthesobernessofthingsandtakehimselfinearnestforagod.

Talkmightbetosuchanonetheverywayofmoralruin;theschoolwherehemightlearntobeatonceintolerableandridiculous.

Thischaracterisperhapscommonerthanphilosopherssuppose.Andforpersonsofthatstamptolearnmuchbyconversation，theymustspeakwiththeirsuperiors，notinintellect，forthatisasuperioritythatmustbeproved，butinstation.Iftheycannotfindafriendtobullythemfortheirgood，theymustfindeitheranoldman，awoman，orsomeonesofarbelowthemintheartificialorderofsociety，thatcourtesymayheparticularlyexercised.

Thebestteachersaretheaged.Totheoldourmouthsarealwayspartlyclosed;wemustswallowourobviousretortsandlisten.

Theysitaboveourheads，onlife’sraiseddais，andappealatoncetoourrespectandpity.Aflavouroftheoldschool，atouchofsomethingdifferentintheirmanner—whichisfreerandrounder，iftheycomeofwhatiscalledagoodfamily，andoftenmoretimidandpreciseiftheyareofthemiddleclass—serves，inthesedays，toaccentuatethedifferenceofageandaddadistinctiontograyhairs.Buttheirsuperiorityisfoundedmoredeeplythanbyoutwardmarksorgestures.Theyarebeforeusinthemarchofman;

theyhavemoreorlesssolvedtheirkingproblem;theyhavebattledthroughtheequinoxoflife;ingoodandeviltheyhaveheldtheircourse;andnow，withoutopenshame，theynearthecrownandharbour.Itmaybewehavebeenstruckwithoneoffortune’sdarts;wecanscarcebecivil，socruellyisourspirittossed.

Yetlongbeforeweweresomuchasthoughtupon，thelikecalamitybefelltheoldmanorwomanthatnow，withpleasanthumour，ralliesusuponourinattention，sittingcomposedintheholyeveningofman’slife，intheclearshiningafterrain.Wegrowashamedofourdistresses，newandhotandcoarse，likevillainousroadsidebrandy;weseelifeinaerialperspective，undertheheavensoffaith;andoutoftheworst，inthemerepresenceofcontentedelders，lookforwardandtakepatience.Fearshrinksbeforethem\"likeathingreproved，\"nottheflittingandineffectualfearofdeath，buttheinstant，dwellingterroroftheresponsibilitiesandrevengesoflife.Theirspeech，indeed，istimid;theyreportlionsinthepath;theycounselameticulousfooting;buttheirserene，marredfacesaremoreeloquentandtellanotherstory.

Wheretheyhavegone，wewillgoalso，notverygreatlyfearing;

whattheyhaveenduredunbroken，wealso，Godhelpingus，willmakeashifttobear.

Notonlyisthepresenceoftheagedinitselfremedial，buttheirmindsarestoredwithantidotes，wisdom’ssimples，plainconsiderationsoverlookedbyyouth.Theyhavemattertocommunicate，betheyneversostupid.Theirtalkisnotmerelyliterature，itisgreatliterature;classicinvirtueofthespeaker’sdetachment，studded，likeabookoftravel，withthingsweshouldnototherwisehavelearnt.Invirtue，Ihavesaid，ofthespeaker’sdetachment，—andthisiswhy，oftwooldmen，theonewhoisnotyourfatherspeakstoyouwiththemoresensibleauthority;forinthepaternalrelationtheoldesthavelivelyinterestsandremainstillyoung.ThusIhaveknowntwoyoungmengreatfriends;eachsworebytheother’sfather;thefatherofeachsworebytheotherlad;andyeteachpairofparentandchildwereperpetuallybytheears.Thisistypical：itreadslikethegermofsomekindlycomedy.

Theoldappearinconversationintwocharacters：thecriticallysilentandthegarrulousanecdotic.Thelastisperhapswhatwelookfor;itisperhapsthemoreinstructive.Anoldgentleman，welloninyears，sitshandsomelyandnaturallyinthebow—windowofhisage，scanningexperiencewithrevertedeye;andchirpingandsmiling，communicatestheaccidentsandreadsthelessonofhislongcareer.Opinionsarestrengthened，indeed，buttheyarealsoweededoutinthecourseofyears.Whatremainssteadilypresenttotheeyeoftheretiredveteraninhishermitage，whatstillministerstohiscontent，whatstillquickenshisoldhonestheart—theseare\"thereallong—livedthings\"thatWhitmantellsustoprefer.Whereyouthagreeswithage，notwheretheydiffer，wisdomlies;anditiswhentheyoungdisciplefindshishearttobeatintunewithhisgray—beardedteacher’sthatalessonmaybelearned.

Ihaveknownoneoldgentleman，whomImayname，forheinnowgatheredtohisstock—RobertHunter，SheriffofDumbarton，andauthorofanexcellentlaw—bookstillre—editedandrepublished.

WhetherhewasoriginallybigorlittleismorethanIcanguess.

WhenIknewhimhewasallfallenawayandfallenin;crookedandshrunken;buckledintoastiffwaistcoatforsupport;troubledbyailments，whichkepthimhobblinginandoutoftheroom;onefootgouty;awigfordecency，notfordeception，onhishead;closeshaved，exceptunderhischin—andforthatheneverfailedtoapologise，foritwentsoreagainstthetraditionsofhislife.

YoucanimaginehowhewouldfareinanovelbyMissMather;yetthisragofaChelseaveteranlivedtohislastyearintheplenitudeofallthatisbestinman，brimmingwithhumankindness，andstaunchasaRomansoldierunderhismanifoldinfirmities.Youcouldnotsaythathehadlosthismemory，forhewouldrepeatShakespeareandWebsterandJeremyTaylorandBurkebythepagetogether;buttheparchmentwasfilledup，therewasnoroomforfreshinscriptions，andhewascapableofrepeatingthesameanecdoteonmanysuccessivevisits.Hisvoicesurvivedinitsfullpower，andhetookaprideinusingit.OnhislastvoyageasCommissioneroflighthouses，hehailedashipatseaandmadehimselfclearlyaudiblewithoutaspeakingtrumpet，rufflingthewhilewithapropervanityinhisachievement.Hehadahabitofekingouthiswordswithinterrogativehems，whichwaspuzzlingandalittlewearisome，suitedillwithhisappearance，andseemedasurvivalfromsomeformerstageofbodilyportliness.Ofyore，whenhewasagreatpedestrianandnoenemytogoodclaret，hemayhavepointedwiththeseminutegunshisallocutionstothebench.

Hishumourwasperfectlyequable，setbeyondthereachoffate;

gout，rheumatism，stoneandgravelmighthavecombinedtheirforcesagainstthatfrailtabernacle，butwhenIcameroundonSundayevening，hewouldlayasideJeremyTaylor’sLIFEOFCHRISTandgreetmewiththesameopenbrow，thesamekindformalityofmanner.Hisopinionsandsympathiesdatedthemanalmosttoadecade.Hehadbegunlife，underhismother’sinfluence，asanadmirerofJunius，butonmaturerknowledgehadtransferredhisadmirationtoBurke.Hecautionedme，withentiregravity，tobepunctiliousinwritingEnglish;nevertoforgetthatIwasaScotchman，thatEnglishwasaforeigntongue，andthatifI

attemptedthecolloquial，Ishouldcertainly，beshamed：theremarkwasapposite，Isuppose，inthedaysofDavidHume.Scottwastoonewforhim;hehadknowntheauthor—knownhim，too，foraTory;

andtothegenuineclassicacontemporaryisalwayssomethingofatrouble.Hehadtheold，seriousloveoftheplay;hadeven，ashewasproudtotell，playedacertainpartinthehistoryofShakespearianrevivals，forhehadsuccessfullypressedonMurray，oftheoldEdinburghTheatre，theideaofproducingShakespeare’sfairypieceswithgreatscenicdisplay.Amoderateinreligion，hewasmuchstruckinthelastyearsofhislifebyaconversationwithtwoyounglads，revivalists\"H’m，\"hewouldsay—\"newtome.

Ihavehad—h’m—nosuchexperience.\"Itstruckhim，notwithpain，ratherwithasolemnphilosophicinterest，thathe，aChristianashehoped，andaChristianofsooldastanding，shouldheartheseyoungfellowstalkingofhisownsubject，hisownweaponsthathehadfoughtthebattleoflifewith，—\"and—h’m—

notunderstand.\"Inthiswiseandgracefulattitudehedidjusticetohimselfandothers，reposedunshakeninhisoldbeliefs，andrecognisedtheirlimitswithoutangeroralarm.Hislastrecordedremark，onthelastnightofhislife，wasafterhehadbeenarguingagainstCalvinismwithhisministerandwasinterruptedbyanintolerablepang.\"Afterall，\"hesaid，\"ofallthe’isms，I

knownonesobadasrheumatism.\"Myownlastsightofhimwassometimebefore，whenwedinedtogetherataninn;hehadbeenoncircuit，forhestucktohisdutieslikeachiefpartofhisexistence;andIrememberitastheonlyoccasiononwhichheeversoiledhislipswithslang—athingheloathed.WewerebothRoberts;andaswetookourplacesattable，headdressedmewithatwinkle：\"Wearejustwhatyouwouldcalltwobob.\"Heofferedmeport，Iremember，asthepropermilkofyouth;spokeof\"twenty—

shillingnotes\";andthroughoutthemealwasfullofold—worldpleasantryandquaintness，likeanancientboyonaholiday.ButwhatIrecallchieflywashisconfessionthathehadneverreadOTHELLOtoanend.Shakespearewashiscontinualstudy.HelovednothingbetterthantodisplayhisknowledgeandmemorybyadducingparallelpassagesfromShakespeare，passageswherethesamewordwasemployed，orthesameideadifferentlytreated.ButOTHELLO

hadbeatenhim.\"Thatnoblegentlemanandthatnoblelady—h’m—

toopainfulforme.\"Thesamenightthehoardingswerecoveredwithposters，\"BurlesqueofOTHELLO，\"andthecontrastblazedupinmymindlikeabonfire.Anunforgettablelookitgavemeintothatkindman’ssoul.Hisacquaintancewasindeedaliberalandpiouseducation.Allthehumanitiesweretaughtinthatbaredining—roombesidehisgoutyfootstool.Hewasapieceofgoodadvice;hewashimselftheinstancethatpointedandadornedhisvarioustalk.

Norcouldayoungmanhavefoundelsewhereaplacesosetapartfromenvy，fear，discontent，oranyofthepassionsthatdebase;alifesohonestandcomposed;asoullikeanancientviolin，sosubduedtoharmony，respondingtoatouchinmusic—asinthatdining—room，withMr.Hunterchattingattheeleventhhour，undertheshadowofeternity，fearlessandgentle.

Thesecondclassofoldpeoplearenotanecdotic;theyareratherhearersthantalkers，listeningtotheyoungwithanamusedandcriticalattention.Tohavethissortofintercoursetoperfection，Ithinkwemustgotooldladies.Womenarebetterhearersthanmen，tobeginwith;theylearn，Ifearinanguish，tobearwiththetediousandinfantilevanityoftheothersex;andwewilltakemorefromawomanthanevenfromtheoldestmaninthewayofbitingcomment.Bitingcommentisthechiefpart，whetherforprofitoramusement，inthisbusiness.TheoldladythatI

haveinmyeyeisaverycausticspeaker，hertongue，afteryearsofpractice，inabsolutecommand，whetherforsilenceorattack.

Ifshechancetodislikeyou，youwillbetemptedtocursethemalignityofage.Butifyouchancetopleaseevenslightly，youwillbelistenedtowithaparticularlaughinggraceofsympathy，andfromtimetotimechastised，asifinplay，withaparasolasheavyasapole—axe.Itrequiresasingularart，aswellasthevantage—groundofage，todealthesestunningcorrectionsamongthecoxcombsoftheyoung.Thepillisdisguisedinsugarofwit;itisadministeredasacompliment—ifyouhadnotpleased，youwouldnothavebeencensured;itisapersonalaffair—ahyphen，ATRAIT

D’UNION，betweenyouandyourcensor;age’sphilandering，forherpleasureandyourgood.Incontestablytheyoungmanfeelsverymuchofafool;buthemustbeaperfectMalvolio，sickwithself—

love，ifhecannottakeanopenbuffetandstillsmile.Thecorrectionofsilenceiswhatkills;whenyouknowyouhavetransgressed，andyourfriendsaysnothingandavoidsyoureye.Ifamanweremadeofgutta—percha，hisheartwouldquailatsuchamoment.Butwhenthewordisout，theworstisover;andafellowwithanygood—humouratallmaypassthroughaperfecthailofwittycriticism，everybareplaceonhissoulhittothequickwithashrewdmissile，andreappear，asifafteradive，tinglingwithafinemoralreaction，andready，withashrinkingreadiness，one—

thirdloath，forarepetitionofthediscipline.

Therearefewwomen，notwellsunnedandripened，andperhapstoughened，whocanthusstandapartfromamanandsaythetruethingwithakindofgenialcruelty.Stilltherearesome—andI

doubtiftherebeanymanwhocanreturnthecompliment.TheclassofmanrepresentedbyVernonWhitfordinTHEEGOISTsays，indeed，thetruething，buthesaysitstockishly.Vernonisanoblefellow，andmakes，bytheway，anobleandinstructivecontrasttoDanielDeronda;hisconductistheconductofamanofhonour;butweagreewithhim，againstourconsciences，whenheremorsefullyconsiders\"itsastonishingdryness.\"Heisthebestofmen，butthebestofwomenmanagetocombineallthatandsomethingmore.

Theirveryfaultsassistthem;theyarehelpedevenbythefalsenessoftheirpositioninlife.Theycanretireintothefortifiedcampoftheproprieties.Theycantouchasubjectandsuppressit.Themostadroitemployasomewhatelaboratereserveasameanstobefrank，muchastheyweargloveswhentheyshakehands.Butamanhasthefullresponsibilityofhisfreedom，cannotevadeaquestion，canscarcebesilentwithoutrudeness，mustanswerforhiswordsuponthemoment，andisnotseldomleftfacetofacewithadamningchoice，betweenthemoreorlessdishonourablewrigglingofDerondaandthedownrightwoodennessofVernonWhitford.

Butthesuperiorityofwomenisperpetuallymenaced;theydonotsitthronedoninfirmitiesliketheold;theyaresuitorsaswellassovereigns;theirvanityisengaged，theiraffectionsaretooapttofollow;andhencemuchofthetalkbetweenthesexesdegeneratesintosomethingunworthyofthename.Thedesiretoplease，toshinewithacertainsoftnessoflustreandtodrawafascinatingpictureofoneself，banishesfromconversationallthatissterlingandmostofwhatishumorous.Assoonasastrongcurrentofmutualadmirationbeginstoflow，thehumaninteresttriumphsentirelyovertheintellectual，andthecommerceofwords，consciouslyornot，becomessecondarytothecommencingofeyes.

Butevenwherethisridiculousdangerisavoided，andamanandwomanconverseequallyandhonestly，somethingintheirnatureortheireducationfalsifiesthestrain.Aninstinctpromptsthemtoagree;andwherethatisimpossible，toagreetodiffer.Shouldtheyneglectthewarning，atthefirstsuspicionofanargument，theyfindthemselvesindifferenthemispheres.Aboutanypointofbusinessorconduct，anyactualaffairdemandingsettlement，awomanwillspeakandlisten，hearandanswerarguments，notonlywithnaturalwisdom，butwithcandourandlogicalhonesty.Butifthesubjectofdebatebesomethingintheair，anabstraction，anexcusefortalk，alogicalAuntSally，thenmaythemaledebaterinstantlyabandonhope;hemayemployreason，adducefacts，besupple，besmiling，beangry，allshallavailhimnothing;whatthewomansaidfirst，that（unlessshehasforgottenit）shewillrepeatattheend.Hence，attheveryjunctureswhenatalkbetweenmengrowsbrighterandquickerandbeginstopromisetobearfruit，talkbetweenthesexesismenacedwithdissolution.

Thepointofdifference，thepointofinterest，isevadedbythebrilliantwoman，underashowerofirrelevantconversationalrockets;itisbridgedbythediscreetwomanwitharustleofsilk，asshepassessmoothlyforwardtothenearestpointofsafety.Andthissortofprestidigitation，jugglingthedangeroustopicoutofsightuntilitcanbereintroducedwithsafetyinanalteredshape，isapieceoftacticsamongthetruedrawing—roomqueens.

Thedrawing—roomis，indeed，anartificialplace;itissobyourchoiceandforoursins.Thesubjectionofwomen;theidealimposeduponthemfromthecradle，andworn，likeahair—shirt，withsomuchconstancy;theirmotherly，superiortendernesstoman’svanityandself—importance;theirmanagingarts—theartsofacivilisedslaveamonggood—naturedbarbarians—areallpainfulingredientsandallhelptofalsifyrelations.Itisnottillwegetclearofthatamusingartificialscenethatgenuinerelationsarefounded，orideashonestlycompared.Inthegarden，ontheroadorthehillside，orTETE—A—TETEandapartfrominterruptions，occasionsarisewhenwemaylearnmuchfromanysinglewoman;andnowheremoreoftenthaninmarriedlife.Marriageisonelongconversation，chequeredbydisputes.Thedisputesarevalueless;

theybutingrainthedifference;theheroicheartofwomanpromptingheratoncetonailhercolourstothemast.Butintheintervals，almostunconsciouslyandwithnodesiretoshine，thewholematerialoflifeisturnedoverandover，ideasarestruckoutandshared，thetwopersonsmoreandmoreadapttheirnotionsonetosuittheother，andinprocessoftime，withoutsoundoftrumpet，theyconducteachotherintonewworldsofthought.

CHAPTERXII.THECHARACTEROFDOGS

THEcivilisation，themanners，andthemoralsofdog—kindaretoagreatextentsubordinatedtothoseofhisancestralmaster，man.

Thisanimal，inmanywayssosuperior，hasacceptedapositionofinferiority，sharesthedomesticlife，andhumoursthecapricesofthetyrant.Butthepotentate，liketheBritishinIndia，payssmallregardtothecharacterofhiswillingclient，judgeshimwithlistlessglances，andcondemnshiminabyword.Listlesshavebeenthelooksofhisadmirers，whohaveexhaustedidletermsofpraise，andburiedthepoorsoulbelowexaggerations.Andyetmoreidleand，ifpossible，moreunintelligenthasbeentheattitudeofhisexpressdetractors;thosewhoareveryfondofdogs\"butintheirproperplace\";whosay\"poo’fellow，poo’fellow，\"andarethemselvesfarpoorer;whowhettheknifeofthevivisectionistorheathisoven;whoarenotashamedtoadmire\"thecreature’sinstinct\";andflyingfarbeyondfolly，havedaredtoresuscitatethetheoryofanimalmachines.The\"dog’sinstinct\"andthe\"automaton—dog，\"inthisageofpsychologyandscience，soundlikestrangeanachronisms.Anautomatonhecertainlyis;amachineworkingindependentlyofhiscontrol，theheart，likethemill—

wheel，keepingallinmotion，andtheconsciousness，likeapersonshutinthemillgarret，enjoyingtheviewoutofthewindowandshakenbythethunderofthestones;anautomatoninonecornerofwhichalivingspiritisconfined：anautomatonlikeman.Instinctagainhecertainlypossesses.Inheritedaptitudesarehis，inheritedfrailties.Somethingsheatonceviewsandunderstands，asthoughhewereawakenedfromasleep，asthoughhecame\"trailingcloudsofglory.\"Butwithhim，aswithman，thefieldofinstinctislimited;itsutterancesareobscureandoccasional;

andaboutthefarlargerpartoflifeboththedogandhismastermustconducttheirstepsbydeductionandobservation.

Theleadingdistinctionbetweendogandman，afterandperhapsbeforethedifferentdurationoftheirlives，isthattheonecanspeakandthattheothercannot.Theabsenceofthepowerofspeechconfinesthedoginthedevelopmentofhisintellect.Ithindershimfrommanyspeculations，forwordsarethebeginningofmeta—physic.Atthesameblowitsaveshimfrommanysuperstitions，andhissilencehaswonforhimahighernameforvirtuethanhisconductjustifies.Thefaultsofthedogaremany.

Heisvainerthanman，singularlygreedyofnotice，singularlyintolerantofridicule，suspiciouslikethedeaf，jealoustothedegreeoffrenzy，andradicallydevoidoftruth.Thedayofanintelligentsmalldogispassedinthemanufactureandthelaboriouscommunicationoffalsehood;helieswithhistail，helieswithhiseye，helieswithhisprotestingpaw;andwhenherattleshisdishorscratchesatthedoorhispurposeisotherthanappears.Buthehassomeapologytoofferforthevice.Manyofthesignswhichformhisdialecthavecometobearanarbitrarymeaning，clearlyunderstoodbothbyhismasterandhimself;yetwhenanewwantariseshemusteitherinventanewvehicleofmeaningorwrestanoldonetoadifferentpurpose;andthisnecessityfrequentlyrecurringmusttendtolessenhisideaofthesanctityofsymbols.Meanwhilethedogisclearinhisownconscience，anddraws，withahumannicety，thedistinctionbetweenformalandessentialtruth.Ofhispunningperversions，hislegitimatedexteritywithsymbols，heisevenvain;butwhenhehastoldandbeendetectedinalie，thereisnotahairuponhisbodybutconfessesguilt.Toadogofgentlemanlyfeelingtheftandfalsehoodaredisgracefulvices.Thecanine，likethehuman，gentlemandemandsinhismisdemeanoursMontaigne’s\"JENESAISQUOI

DEGENEREUX.\"Heisnevermorethanhalfashamedofhavingbarkedorbitten;andforthosefaultsintowhichhehasbeenledbythedesiretoshinebeforealadyofhisrace，heretains，evenunderphysicalcorrection，ashareofpride.Buttobecaughtlying，ifheunderstandsit，instantlyuncurlshisfleece.

Justasamongdullobservershepreservesanamefortruth，thedoghasbeencreditedwithmodesty.Itisamazinghowtheuseoflanguagebluntsthefacultiesofman—thatbecausevaingloryfindsnoventinwords，creaturessuppliedwitheyeshavebeenunabletodetectafaultsogrossandobvious.Ifasmallspoileddogweresuddenlytobeendowedwithspeech，hewouldprateinterminably，andstillabouthimself;whenwehadfriends，weshouldbeforcedtolockhiminagarret;andwhatwithhiswhiningjealousiesandhisfoibleforfalsehood，inayear’stimehewouldhavegonefartowearyoutourlove.IwasabouttocomparehimtoSirWilloughbyPatterne，butthePatterneshaveamanliersenseoftheirownmerits;andtheparallel，besides，isready.HansChristianAndersen，aswebeholdhiminhisstartlingmemoirs，thrillingfromtoptotoewithanexcruciatingvanity，andscoutingevenalongthestreetforshadowsofoffence—herewasthetalkingdog.

Itisjustthisrageforconsiderationthathasbetrayedthedogintohissatellitepositionasthefriendofman.Thecat，ananimaloffrankerappetites，preserveshisindependence.Butthedog，withoneeyeeverontheaudience，hasbeenwheedledintoslavery，andpraisedandpattedintotherenunciationofhisnature.Onceheceasedhuntingandbecameman’splate—licker，theRubiconwascrossed.Thenceforthhewasagentlemanofleisure;

andexceptthefewwhomwekeepworking，thewholeracegrewmoreandmoreself—conscious，manneredandaffected.Thenumberofthingsthatasmalldogdoesnaturallyisstrangelysmall.

Enjoyingbetterspiritsandnotcrushedundermaterialcares，heisfarmoretheatricalthanaverageman.Hiswholelife，ifhebeadogofanypretensiontogallantry，isspentinavainshow，andinthehotpursuitofadmiration.Takeoutyourpuppyforawalk，andyouwillfindthelittleballoffurclumsy，stupid，bewildered，butnatural.Letbutafewmonthspass，andwhenyourepeattheprocessyouwillfindnatureburiedinconvention.Hewilldonothingplainly;butthesimplestprocessesofourmateriallifewillallbebentintotheformsofanelaborateandmysteriousetiquette.Instinct，saysthefool，hasawakened.Butitisnotso.Somedogs—some，attheveryleast—iftheybekeptseparatefromothers，remainquitenatural;andthese，whenatlengththeymeetwithacompanionofexperience，andhavethegameexplainedtothem，distinguishthemselvesbytheseverityoftheirdevotiontoitsrules.IwishIwereallowedtotellastorywhichwouldradiantlyilluminatethepoint;butmen，likedogs，haveanelaborateandmysteriousetiquette.Itistheirbondofsympathythatbotharethechildrenofconvention.

Theperson，manordog，whohasaconscienceiseternallycondemnedtosomedegreeofhumbug;thesenseofthelawintheirmembersfatallyprecipitateseithertowardsafrozenandaffectedbearing.

Andtheconverseistrue;andintheelaborateandconsciousmannersofthedog，moralopinionsandtheloveoftheidealstandconfessed.Tofollowfortenminutesinthestreetsomeswaggering，caninecavalier，istoreceivealessonindramaticartandtheculturedconductofthebody;ineveryactandgestureyouseehimtruetoarefinedconception;andthedullestcur，beholdinghim，pricksuphisearandproceedstoimitateandparodythatcharmingease.Fortobeahigh—manneredandhigh—mindedgentleman，careless，affable，andgay，istheinbornpretensionofthedog.Thelargedog，somuchlazier，somuchmoreweigheduponwithmatter，somajesticinrepose，sobeautifulineffort，isbornwiththedramaticmeanstowhollyrepresentthepart.AnditismorepatheticandperhapsmoreinstructivetoconsiderthesmalldoginhisconscientiousandimperfecteffortstooutdoSirPhilipSidney.Fortheidealofthedogisfeudalandreligious;theever—presentpolytheism，thewhip—bearingOlympusofmankind，rulesthemontheonehand;ontheother，theirsingulardifferenceofsizeandstrengthamongthemselveseffectuallypreventstheappearanceofthedemocraticnotion.Orwemightmoreexactlycomparetheirsocietytothecuriousspectaclepresentedbyaschool—ushers，monitors，andbigandlittleboys—qualifiedbyonecircumstance，theintroductionoftheothersex.Ineach，weshouldobserveasomewhatsimilartensionofmanner，andsomewhatsimilarpointsofhonour.Ineachthelargeranimalkeepsacontemptuousgoodhumour;ineachthesmallerannoyshimwithwasp—

likeimpudence，certainofpracticalimmunity;ineachweshallfindadoublelifeproducingdoublecharacters，andanexcursiveandnoisyheroismcombinedwithafairamountofpracticaltimidity.Ihaveknowndogs，andIhaveknownschoolheroesthat，setasidethefur，couldhardlyhavebeentoldapart;andifwedesiretounderstandthechivalryofold，wemustturntotheschoolplayfieldsorthedungheapwherethedogsaretrooping.

Woman，withthedog，hasbeenlongenfranchised.Incessantmassacreoffemaleinnocentshaschangedtheproportionsofthesexesandpervertedtheirrelations.Thus，whenweregardthemannersofthedog，weseearomanticandmonogamousanimal，onceperhapsasdelicateasthecat，atwarwithimpossibleconditions.

Manhasmuchtoanswerfor;andthepartheplaysisyetmoredamnableandparlousthanCorin’sintheeyesofTouchstone.Buthisinterventionhasatleastcreatedanimperialsituationfortheraresurvivingladies.Inthatsocietytheyreignwithoutarival：

consciousqueens;andintheonlyinstanceofacaninewife—beaterthathaseverfallenundermynotice，thecriminalwassomewhatexcusedbythecircumstancesofhisstory.Heisalittle，veryalert，well—bred，intelligentSkye，asblackasahat，withawetbrambleforanoseandtwocairngormsforeyes.Tothehumanobserver，heisdecidedlywell—looking;buttotheladiesofhisraceheseemsabhorrent.Athoroughelaborategentleman，oftheplumeandsword—knotorder，hewasbornwithanicesenseofgallantrytowomen.Hetookattheirhandsthemostoutrageoustreatment;Ihaveheardhimbleatinglikeasheep，Ihaveseenhimstreamingblood，andhiseartatteredlikearegimentalbanner;andyethewouldscorntomakereprisals.Naymore，whenahumanladyupraisedthecontumeliouswhipagainsttheverydamewhohadbeensocruellymisusinghim，mylittlegreat—heartgavebutonehoarsecryandfelluponthetyranttoothandnail.Thisisthetaleofasoul’stragedy.Afterthreeyearsofunavailingchivalry，hesuddenly，inonehour，threwofftheyokeofobligation;hadhebeenShakespearehewouldthenhavewrittenTROILUSANDCRESSIDAtobrandtheoffendingsex;butbeingonlyalittledog，hebegantobitethem.Thesurpriseoftheladieswhomheattackedindicatedthemonstrosityofhisoffence;buthehadfairlybeatenoffhisbetterangel，fairlycommittedmoralsuicide;foralmostinthesamehour，throwingasidethelastragsofdecency，heproceededtoattacktheagedalso.Thefactisworthremark，showing，asitdoes，thatethicallawsarecommonbothtodogsandmen;andthatwithbothasingledeliberateviolationoftheconscienceloosensall.\"Butwhilethelampholdsontoburn，\"saystheparaphrase，\"thegreatestsinnermayreturn.\"Ihavebeencheeredtoseesymptomsofeffectualpenitenceinmysweetruffian;andbythehandlingthatheaccepteduncomplaininglytheotherdayfromanindignantfairone，IbegintohopetheperiodofSTURMUNDDRANG

isclosed.

Alltheselittlegentlemenaresubtlecasuists.Thedutytothefemaledogisplain;butwherecompetingdutiesrise，downtheywillsitandstudythemout，likeJesuitconfessors.IknewanotherlittleSkye，somewhatplaininmannerandappearance，butacreaturecompactofamiabilityandsolidwisdom.Hisfamilygoingabroadforawinter，hewasreceivedforthatperiodbyanuncleinthesamecity.Thewinterover，hisownfamilyhomeagain，andhisownhouse（ofwhichhewasveryproud）reopened，hefoundhimselfinadilemmabetweentwoconflictingdutiesofloyaltyandgratitude.Hisoldfriendswerenottobeneglected，butitseemedhardlydecenttodesertthenew.Thiswashowhesolvedtheproblem.Everymorning，assoonasthedoorwasopened，ofpostedCoolintohisuncle’s，visitedthechildreninthenursery，salutedthewholefamily，andwasbackathomeintimeforbreakfastandhisbitoffish.Norwasthisdonewithoutasacrificeonhispart，sharplyfelt;forhehadtoforegotheparticularhonourandjewelofhisday—hismorning’swalkwithmyfather.And，perhapsfromthiscause，hegraduallyweariedofandrelaxedthepractice，andatlengthreturnedentirelytohisancienthabits.Butthesamedecisionservedhiminanotherandmoredistressingcaseofdividedduty，whichhappenednotlongafter.Hewasnotatallakitchendog，butthecookhadnursedhimwithunusualkindnessduringthedistemper;andthoughhedidnotadoreherasheadoredmyfather—although（bornsnob）hewascriticallyconsciousofherpositionas\"onlyaservant\"—hestillcherishedforheraspecialgratitude.Well，thecookleft，andretiredsomestreetsawaytolodgingsofherown;andtherewasCoolininpreciselythesamesituationwithanyyounggentlemanwhohashadtheinestimablebenefitofafaithfulnurse.ThecanineconsciencedidnotsolvetheproblemwithapoundofteaatChristmas.Nolongercontenttopayaflyingvisit，itwasthewholeforenoonthathededicatedtohissolitaryfriend.Andso，daybyday，hecontinuedtocomforthersolitudeuntil（forsomereasonwhichIcouldneverunderstandandcannotapprove）hewaskeptlockeduptobreakhimofthegracefulhabit.Here，itisnotthesimilarity，itisthedifference，thatisworthyofremark;theclearlymarkeddegreesofgratitudeandtheproportionaldurationofhisvisits.Anythingfurtherremovedfrominstinctitwerehardtofancy;andoneisevenstirredtoacertainimpatiencewithacharactersodestituteofspontaneity，sopassionlessinjustice，andsopriggishlyobedienttothevoiceofreason.

TherearenotmanydogslikethisgoodCoolin，andnotmanypeople.

Butthetypeisonewellmarked，bothinthehumanandthecaninefamily.Gallantrywasnothisaim，butasolidandsomewhatoppressiverespectability.Hewasaswornfoetotheunusualandtheconspicuous，apraiserofthegoldenmean，akindofcityunclemodifiedbyCheeryble.Andashewaspreciseandconscientiousinallthestepsofhisownblamelesscourse，helookedforthesameprecisionandanevengreatergravityinthebearingofhisdeity，myfather.ItwasnosinecuretobeCoolin’sidol：hewasexactinglikearigidparent;andateverysignoflevityinthemanwhomherespected，heannouncedloudlythedeathofvirtueandtheproximatefallofthepillarsoftheearth.

Ihavecalledhimasnob;butalldogsareso，thoughinvaryingdegrees.Itishardtofollowtheirsnobberyamongthemselves;forthoughIthinkwecanperceivedistinctionsofrank，wecannotgraspwhatisthecriterion.ThusinEdinburgh，inagoodpartofthetown，therewereseveraldistinctsocietiesorclubsthatmetinthemorningto—thephraseistechnical—to\"rakethebackets\"

inatroop.Afriendofmine，themasterofthreedogs，wasonedaysurprisedtoobservethattheyhadleftoneclubandjoinedanother;butwhetheritwasariseorafall，andtheresultofaninvitationoranexpulsion，wasmorethanhecouldguess.Andthisillustratespointedlyourignoranceofthereallifeofdogs，theirsocialambitionsandtheirsocialhierarchies.Atleast，intheirdealingswithmentheyarenotonlyconsciousofsex，butofthedifferenceofstation.Andthatinthemostsnobbishmanner;forthepoorman’sdogisnotoffendedbythenoticeoftherich，andkeepsallhisuglyfeelingforthosepoorerormoreraggedthanhismaster.Andagain，foreverystationtheyhaveanidealofbehaviour，towhichthemaster，underpainofderogation，willdowiselytoconform.Howoftenhasnotacoldglanceofaneyeinformedmethatmydogwasdisappointed;andhowmuchmoregladlywouldhenothavetakenabeatingthantobethuswoundedintheseatofpiety！

Iknewonedisrespectabledog.Hewasfarlikeracat;caredlittleornothingformen，withwhomhemerelycoexistedaswedowithcattle，andwasentirelydevotedtotheartofpoaching.A

housewouldnotholdhim，andtoliveinatownwaswhatherefused.

Heled，Ibelieve，alifeoftroubledbutgenuinepleasure，andperishedbeyondallquestioninatrap.Butthiswasanexception，amarkedreversiontotheancestraltype;likethehairyhumaninfant.Thetruedogofthenineteenthcentury，tojudgebytheremainderofmyfairlylargeacquaintance，isinlovewithrespectability.Astreet—dogwasonceadoptedbyalady.WhilestillanArab，hehaddoneasArabsdo，gambollinginthemud，chargingintobutchers’stalls，acat—hunter，asturdybeggar，acommonrogueandvagabond;butwithhisriseintosocietyhelaidasidetheseinconsistentpleasures.Hestolenomore，hehuntednomorecats;andconsciousofhiscollar，heignoredhisoldcompanions.Yetthecanineupperclasswasneverbroughttorecognisetheupstart，andfromthathour，exceptforhumancountenance，hewasalone.Friendless，shornofhissportsandthehabitsofalifetime，hestilllivedinagloryofhappiness，contentwithhisacquiredrespectability，andwithnocarebuttosupportitsolemnly.Arewetocondemnorpraisethisself—madedog？Wepraisehishumanbrother.Andthustoconquervicioushabitsisasrarewithdogsaswithmen.Withthemorepart，foralltheirscruple—mongeringandmoralthought，thevicesthatarebornwiththemremaininvinciblethroughout;andtheylivealltheiryears，gloryingintheirvirtues，butstilltheslavesoftheirdefects.ThusthesageCoolinwasathieftothelast;amongathousandpeccadilloes，awholegooseandawholecoldlegofmuttonlayuponhisconscience;butWoggs，（7）whosesoul’sshipwreckinthematterofgallantryIhaverecountedabove，hasonlytwicebeenknowntosteal，andhasoftennoblyconqueredthetemptation.Theeighthishisfavouritecommandment.Thereissomethingpainfullyhumanintheseunequalvirtuesandmortalfrailtiesofthebest.Stillmorepainfulisthebearingofthose\"stammeringprofessors\"inthehouseofsicknessandundertheterrorofdeath.Itisbeyondadoubttomethat，somehoworother，thedogconnectstogether，orconfounds，theuneasinessofsicknessandtheconsciousnessofguilt.Tothepainsofthebodyheoftenaddsthetorturesoftheconscience;andatthesetimeshishaggardprotestationsform，inregardtothehumandeathbed，adreadfulparodyorparallel.

IoncesupposedthatIhadfoundaninverserelationbetweenthedoubleetiquettewhichdogsobey;andthatthosewhoweremostaddictedtotheshowystreetlifeamongotherdogswerelesscarefulinthepracticeofhomevirtuesforthetyrantman.Butthefemaledog，thatmassofcarneyingaffectations，shinesequallyineithersphere;rulesherroughposseofattendantswainswithunwearyingtactandgusto;andwithhermasterandmistresspushestheartsofinsinuationtotheircrowningpoint.Theattentionofmanandtheregardofotherdogsflatter（itwouldthusappear）thesamesensibility;butperhaps，ifwecouldreadthecanineheart，theywouldbefoundtoflatteritinverydifferentdegrees.Dogslivewithmanascourtiersroundamonarch，steepedintheflatteryofhisnoticeandenrichedwithsinecures.Topushtheirfavourinthisworldofpickingsandcaressesis，perhaps，thebusinessoftheirlives;andtheirjoysmaylieoutside.Iamindespairatourpersistentignorance.Ireadinthelivesofourcompanionsthesameprocessesofreason，thesameantiqueandfatalconflictsoftherightagainstthewrong，andofunbittednaturewithtoorigidcustom;Iseethemwithourweaknesses，vain，false，inconstantagainstappetite，andwithouronestalkofvirtue，devotedtothedreamofanideal;andyet，astheyhurrybymeonthestreetwithtailinair，orcomesinglytosolicitmyregard，I

mustownthesecretpurportoftheirlivesisstillinscrutabletoman.Ismanthefriend，orishethepatrononly？Havetheyindeedforgottennature’svoice？orarethosemomentssnatchedfromcourtiershipwhentheytouchnoseswiththetinker’smongrel，thebriefrewardandpleasureoftheirartificiallives？Doubtless，whenmanshareswithhisdogthetoilsofaprofessionandthepleasuresofanart，aswiththeshepherdorthepoacher，theaffectionwarmsandstrengthenstillitfillsthesoul.Butdoubtless，also，themastersare，inmanycases，theobjectofamerelyinterestedcultus，sittingaloftlikeLouisQuatorze，givingandreceivingflatteryandfavour;andthedogs，likethemajorityofmen，havebutforegonetheirtrueexistenceandbecomethedupesoftheirambition.