`Certainlynot!’saidAliceindignantly。
`Ah!thenyourswasn’tareallygoodschool，’saidtheMockTurtleinatoneofgreatrelief。`NowatOURStheyhadattheendofthebill，\"French，music，ANDWASHING——extra。\"’
`Youcouldn’thavewanteditmuch，’saidAlice；`livingatthebottomofthesea。’
`Icouldn’taffordtolearnit。’saidtheMockTurtlewithasigh。`Ionlytooktheregularcourse。’
`Whatwasthat？’inquiredAlice。
`ReelingandWrithing，ofcourse，tobeginwith，’theMockTurtlereplied；`andthenthedifferentbranchesofArithmetic——
Ambition，Distraction，Uglification，andDerision。’
`Ineverheardof\"Uglification，\"’Aliceventuredtosay。`Whatisit？’
TheGryphonliftedupbothitspawsinsurprise。`What!Neverheardofuglifying!’itexclaimed。`Youknowwhattobeautifyis，Isuppose？’
`Yes，’saidAlicedoubtfully：`itmeans——to——make——anything——prettier。’
`Well，then，’theGryphonwenton，`ifyoudon’tknowwhattouglifyis，youAREasimpleton。’
Alicedidnotfeelencouragedtoaskanymorequestionsaboutit，sosheturnedtotheMockTurtle，andsaid`Whatelsehadyoutolearn？’
`Well，therewasMystery，’theMockTurtlereplied，countingoffthesubjectsonhisflappers，`——Mystery，ancientandmodern，withSeaography：thenDrawling——theDrawling—masterwasanoldconger—eel，thatusedtocomeonceaweek：HEtaughtusDrawling，Stretching，andFaintinginCoils。’
`WhatwasTHATlike？’saidAlice。
`Well，Ican’tshowityoumyself，’theMockTurtlesaid：`I’mtoostiff。AndtheGryphonneverlearntit。’
`Hadn’ttime，’saidtheGryphon：`IwenttotheClassicsmaster，though。Hewasanoldcrab，HEwas。’
`Ineverwenttohim，’theMockTurtlesaidwithasigh：`hetaughtLaughingandGrief，theyusedtosay。’
`Sohedid，sohedid，’saidtheGryphon，sighinginhisturn；
andbothcreatureshidtheirfacesintheirpaws。
`Andhowmanyhoursadaydidyoudolessons？’saidAlice，inahurrytochangethesubject。
`Tenhoursthefirstday，’saidtheMockTurtle：`ninethenext，andsoon。’
`Whatacuriousplan!’exclaimedAlice。
`That’sthereasonthey’recalledlessons，’theGryphonremarked：`becausetheylessenfromdaytoday。’
ThiswasquiteanewideatoAlice，andshethoughtitoveralittlebeforeshemadehernextremark。`Thentheeleventhdaymusthavebeenaholiday？’
`Ofcourseitwas，’saidtheMockTurtle。
`Andhowdidyoumanageonthetwelfth？’Alicewentoneagerly。
`That’senoughaboutlessons，’theGryphoninterruptedinaverydecidedtone：`tellhersomethingaboutthegamesnow。’
CHAPTERX
TheLobsterQuadrilleTheMockTurtlesigheddeeply，anddrewthebackofoneflapperacrosshiseyes。HelookedatAlice，andtriedtospeak，butforaminuteortwosobschokedhisvoice。`Sameasifhehadaboneinhisthroat，’saidtheGryphon：anditsettoworkshakinghimandpunchinghimintheback。AtlasttheMockTurtlerecoveredhisvoice，and，withtearsrunningdownhischeeks，hewentonagain：——
`Youmaynothavelivedmuchunderthesea——’（`Ihaven’t，’saidAlice）——
`andperhapsyouwereneverevenintroducedtoalobster——’
（Alicebegantosay`Ioncetasted——’butcheckedherselfhastily，andsaid`No，never’）`——soyoucanhavenoideawhatadelightfulthingaLobsterQuadrilleis!’
`No，indeed，’saidAlice。`Whatsortofadanceisit？’
`Why，’saidtheGryphon，`youfirstformintoalinealongthesea—shore——’
`Twolines!’criedtheMockTurtle。`Seals，turtles，salmon，andsoon；
then，whenyou’veclearedallthejelly—fishoutoftheway——’
`THATgenerallytakessometime，’interruptedtheGryphon。
`——youadvancetwice——’
`Eachwithalobsterasapartner!’criedtheGryphon。
`Ofcourse，’theMockTurtlesaid：`advancetwice，settopartners——’
`——changelobsters，andretireinsameorder，’continuedtheGryphon。
`Then，youknow，’theMockTurtlewenton，`youthrowthe——’
`Thelobsters!’shoutedtheGryphon，withaboundintotheair。
`——asfarouttoseaasyoucan——’
`Swimafterthem!’screamedtheGryphon。
`Turnasomersaultinthesea!’criedtheMockTurtle，caperingwildlyabout。
`Changelobster’sagain!’yelledtheGryphonatthetopofitsvoice。
`Backtolandagain，andthat’sallthefirstfigure，’saidtheMockTurtle，suddenlydroppinghisvoice；andthetwocreatures，whohadbeenjumpingaboutlikemadthingsallthistime，satdownagainverysadlyandquietly，andlookedatAlice。
`Itmustbeaveryprettydance，’saidAlicetimidly。
`Wouldyouliketoseealittleofit？’saidtheMockTurtle。
`Verymuchindeed，’saidAlice。
`Come，let’strythefirstfigure!’saidtheMockTurtletotheGryphon。`Wecandowithoutlobsters，youknow。Whichshallsing？’
`Oh，YOUsing，’saidtheGryphon。`I’veforgottenthewords。’
SotheybegansolemnlydancingroundandroundAlice，everynowandthentreadingonhertoeswhentheypassedtooclose，andwavingtheirforepawstomarkthetime，whiletheMockTurtlesangthis，veryslowlyandsadly：——
`\"Willyouwalkalittlefaster？\"saidawhitingtoasnail。
\"There’saporpoiseclosebehindus，andhe’streadingonmytail。
Seehoweagerlythelobstersandtheturtlesalladvance!
Theyarewaitingontheshingle——willyoucomeandjointhedance？
Willyou，won’tyou，willyou，won’tyou，willyoujointhedance？
Willyou，won’tyou，willyou，won’tyou，won’tyoujointhedance？
\"YoucanreallyhavenonotionhowdelightfulitwillbeWhentheytakeusupandthrowus，withthelobsters，outtosea!\"
Butthesnailreplied\"Toofar，toofar!\"andgavealookaskance——
Saidhethankedthewhitingkindly，buthewouldnotjointhedance。
Wouldnot，couldnot，wouldnot，couldnot，wouldnotjointhedance。
Wouldnot，couldnot，wouldnot，couldnot，couldnotjointhedance。
`\"Whatmattersithowfarwego？\"hisscalyfriendreplied。
\"Thereisanothershore，youknow，upontheotherside。
ThefurtherofffromEnglandtheneareristoFrance——
Thenturnnotpale，belovedsnail，butcomeandjointhedance。
Willyou，won’tyou，willyou，won’tyou，willyoujointhedance？
Willyou，won’tyou，willyou，won’tyou，won’tyoujointhedance？\"’
`Thankyou，it’saveryinterestingdancetowatch，’saidAlice，feelingverygladthatitwasoveratlast：`andIdosolikethatcurioussongaboutthewhiting!’
`Oh，astothewhiting，’saidtheMockTurtle，`they——you’veseenthem，ofcourse？’
`Yes，’saidAlice，`I’veoftenseenthematdinn——’shecheckedherselfhastily。
`Idon’tknowwhereDinnmaybe，’saidtheMockTurtle，`butifyou’veseenthemsooften，ofcourseyouknowwhatthey’relike。’
`Ibelieveso，’Alicerepliedthoughtfully。`Theyhavetheirtailsintheirmouths——andthey’reallovercrumbs。’
`You’rewrongaboutthecrumbs，’saidtheMockTurtle：
`crumbswouldallwashoffinthesea。ButtheyHAVEtheirtailsintheirmouths；andthereasonis——’heretheMockTurtleyawnedandshuthiseyes。——`Tellheraboutthereasonandallthat，’hesaidtotheGryphon。
`Thereasonis，’saidtheGryphon，`thattheyWOULDgowiththelobsterstothedance。Sotheygotthrownouttosea。Sotheyhadtofallalongway。Sotheygottheirtailsfastintheirmouths。Sotheycouldn’tgetthemoutagain。That’sall。’
`Thankyou，’saidAlice，`it’sveryinteresting。Ineverknewsomuchaboutawhitingbefore。’
`Icantellyoumorethanthat，ifyoulike，’saidtheGryphon。`Doyouknowwhyit’scalledawhiting？’
`Ineverthoughtaboutit，’saidAlice。`Why？’
`ITDOESTHEBOOTSANDSHOES。’theGryphonrepliedverysolemnly。
Alicewasthoroughlypuzzled。`Doesthebootsandshoes!’sherepeatedinawonderingtone。
`Why，whatareYOURshoesdonewith？’saidtheGryphon。`I
mean，whatmakesthemsoshiny？’
Alicelookeddownatthem，andconsideredalittlebeforeshegaveheranswer。`They’redonewithblacking，Ibelieve。’
`Bootsandshoesunderthesea，’theGryphonwentoninadeepvoice，`aredonewithawhiting。Nowyouknow。’
`Andwhataretheymadeof？’Aliceaskedinatoneofgreatcuriosity。
`Solesandeels，ofcourse，’theGryphonrepliedratherimpatiently：`anyshrimpcouldhavetoldyouthat。’
`IfI’dbeenthewhiting，’saidAlice，whosethoughtswerestillrunningonthesong，`I’dhavesaidtotheporpoise，\"Keepback，please：wedon’twantYOUwithus!\"’
`Theywereobligedtohavehimwiththem，’theMockTurtlesaid：`nowisefishwouldgoanywherewithoutaporpoise。’
`Wouldn’titreally？’saidAliceinatoneofgreatsurprise。
`Ofcoursenot，’saidtheMockTurtle：`why，ifafishcametoME，andtoldmehewasgoingajourney，Ishouldsay\"Withwhatporpoise？\"’
`Don’tyoumean\"purpose\"？’saidAlice。
`ImeanwhatIsay，’theMockTurtlerepliedinanoffendedtone。AndtheGryphonadded`Come，let’shearsomeofYOUR
adventures。’
`Icouldtellyoumyadventures——beginningfromthismorning，’
saidAlicealittletimidly：`butit’snousegoingbacktoyesterday，becauseIwasadifferentpersonthen。’
`Explainallthat，’saidtheMockTurtle。
`No，no!Theadventuresfirst，’saidtheGryphoninanimpatienttone：`explanationstakesuchadreadfultime。’
SoAlicebegantellingthemheradventuresfromthetimewhenshefirstsawtheWhiteRabbit。Shewasalittlenervousaboutitjustatfirst，thetwocreaturesgotsoclosetoher，oneoneachside，andopenedtheireyesandmouthssoVERYwide，butshegainedcourageasshewenton。Herlistenerswereperfectlyquiettillshegottothepartaboutherrepeating`YOUAREOLD，FATHERWILLIAM，’totheCaterpillar，andthewordsallcomingdifferent，andthentheMockTurtledrewalongbreath，andsaid`That’sverycurious。’
`It’sallaboutascuriousasitcanbe，’saidtheGryphon。
`Itallcamedifferent!’theMockTurtlerepeatedthoughtfully。`Ishouldliketohearhertryandrepeatsomethingnow。Tellhertobegin。’HelookedattheGryphonasifhethoughtithadsomekindofauthorityoverAlice。
`Standupandrepeat\"’TISTHEVOICEOFTHESLUGGARD，\"’saidtheGryphon。
`Howthecreaturesorderoneabout，andmakeonerepeatlessons!’thoughtAlice；`Imightaswellbeatschoolatonce。’
However，shegotup，andbegantorepeatit，butherheadwassofulloftheLobsterQuadrille，thatshehardlyknewwhatshewassaying，andthewordscameveryqueerindeed：——
`’TisthevoiceoftheLobster；Iheardhimdeclare，\"Youhavebakedmetoobrown，Imustsugarmyhair。\"
Asaduckwithitseyelids，sohewithhisnoseTrimshisbeltandhisbuttons，andturnsouthistoes。’
[latereditionscontinuedasfollowsWhenthesandsarealldry，heisgayasalark，AndwilltalkincontemptuoustonesoftheShark，But，whenthetiderisesandsharksarearound，Hisvoicehasatimidandtremuloussound。]
`That’sdifferentfromwhatIusedtosaywhenIwasachild，’
saidtheGryphon。
`Well，Ineverhearditbefore，’saidtheMockTurtle；`butitsoundsuncommonnonsense。’
Alicesaidnothing；shehadsatdownwithherfaceinherhands，wonderingifanythingwouldEVERhappeninanaturalwayagain。
`Ishouldliketohaveitexplained，’saidtheMockTurtle。
`Shecan’texplainit，’saidtheGryphonhastily。`Goonwiththenextverse。’
`Butabouthistoes？’theMockTurtlepersisted。`HowCOULD
heturnthemoutwithhisnose，youknow？’
`It’sthefirstpositionindancing。’Alicesaid；butwasdreadfullypuzzledbythewholething，andlongedtochangethesubject。
`Goonwiththenextverse，’theGryphonrepeatedimpatiently：
`itbegins\"Ipassedbyhisgarden。\"’
Alicedidnotdaretodisobey，thoughshefeltsureitwouldallcomewrong，andshewentoninatremblingvoice：——
`Ipassedbyhisgarden，andmarked，withoneeye，HowtheOwlandthePantherweresharingapie——’
[latereditionscontinuedasfollowsThePanthertookpie—crust，andgravy，andmeat，WhiletheOwlhadthedishasitsshareofthetreat。
Whenthepiewasallfinished，theOwl，asaboon，Waskindlypermittedtopocketthespoon：
WhilethePantherreceivedknifeandforkwithagrowl，Andconcludedthebanquet——]
`WhatIStheuseofrepeatingallthatstuff，’theMockTurtleinterrupted，`ifyoudon’texplainitasyougoon？It’sbyfarthemostconfusingthingIeverheard!’
`Yes，Ithinkyou’dbetterleaveoff，’saidtheGryphon：andAlicewasonlytoogladtodoso。
`ShallwetryanotherfigureoftheLobsterQuadrille？’theGryphonwenton。`OrwouldyouliketheMockTurtletosingyouasong？’
`Oh，asong，please，iftheMockTurtlewouldbesokind，’
Alicereplied，soeagerlythattheGryphonsaid，inaratheroffendedtone，`Hm!Noaccountingfortastes!Singher\"TurtleSoup，\"willyou，oldfellow？’
TheMockTurtlesigheddeeply，andbegan，inavoicesometimeschokedwithsobs，tosingthis：——
`BeautifulSoup，sorichandgreen，Waitinginahottureen!
Whoforsuchdaintieswouldnotstoop？
Soupoftheevening，beautifulSoup!
Soupoftheevening，beautifulSoup!
Beau——ootifulSoo——oop!
Beau——ootifulSoo——oop!
Soo——oopofthee——e——evening，Beautiful，beautifulSoup!
`BeautifulSoup!Whocaresforfish，Game，oranyotherdish？
WhowouldnotgiveallelsefortwopennyworthonlyofbeautifulSoup？
PennyworthonlyofbeautifulSoup？
Beau——ootifulSoo——oop!
Beau——ootifulSoo——oop!
Soo——oopofthee——e——evening，Beautiful，beauti——FULSOUP!’
`Chorusagain!’criedtheGryphon，andtheMockTurtlehadjustbeguntorepeatit，whenacryof`Thetrial’sbeginning!’
washeardinthedistance。
`Comeon!’criedtheGryphon，and，takingAlicebythehand，ithurriedoff，withoutwaitingfortheendofthesong。
`Whattrialisit？’Alicepantedassheran；buttheGryphononlyanswered`Comeon!’andranthefaster，whilemoreandmorefaintlycame，carriedonthebreezethatfollowedthem，themelancholywords：——
`Soo——oopofthee——e——evening，Beautiful，beautifulSoup!’
CHAPTERXI
WhoStoletheTarts？
TheKingandQueenofHeartswereseatedontheirthronewhentheyarrived，withagreatcrowdassembledaboutthem——allsortsoflittlebirdsandbeasts，aswellasthewholepackofcards：
theKnavewasstandingbeforethem，inchains，withasoldieroneachsidetoguardhim；andneartheKingwastheWhiteRabbit，withatrumpetinonehand，andascrollofparchmentintheother。Intheverymiddleofthecourtwasatable，withalargedishoftartsuponit：theylookedsogood，thatitmadeAlicequitehungrytolookatthem——`Iwishthey’dgetthetrialdone，’
shethought，`andhandroundtherefreshments!’Butthereseemedtobenochanceofthis，soshebeganlookingateverythingabouther，topassawaythetime。
Alicehadneverbeeninacourtofjusticebefore，butshehadreadabouttheminbooks，andshewasquitepleasedtofindthatsheknewthenameofnearlyeverythingthere。`That’sthejudge，’shesaidtoherself，`becauseofhisgreatwig。’
Thejudge，bytheway，wastheKing；andasheworehiscrownoverthewig，（lookatthefrontispieceifyouwanttoseehowhedidit，）hedidnotlookatallcomfortable，anditwascertainlynotbecoming。
`Andthat’sthejury—box，’thoughtAlice，`andthosetwelvecreatures，’（shewasobligedtosay`creatures，’yousee，becausesomeofthemwereanimals，andsomewerebirds，）`Isupposetheyarethejurors。’Shesaidthislastwordtwoorthreetimesovertoherself，beingratherproudofit：forshethought，andrightlytoo，thatveryfewlittlegirlsofherageknewthemeaningofitatall。However，`jury—men’wouldhavedonejustaswell。
Thetwelvejurorswereallwritingverybusilyonslates。
`Whataretheydoing？’AlicewhisperedtotheGryphon。`Theycan’thaveanythingtoputdownyet，beforethetrial’sbegun。’
`They’reputtingdowntheirnames，’theGryphonwhisperedinreply，`forfeartheyshouldforgetthembeforetheendofthetrial。’
`Stupidthings!’Alicebeganinaloud，indignantvoice，butshestoppedhastily，fortheWhiteRabbitcriedout，`Silenceinthecourt!’andtheKingputonhisspectaclesandlookedanxiouslyround，tomakeoutwhowastalking。
Alicecouldsee，aswellasifshewerelookingovertheirshoulders，thatallthejurorswerewritingdown`stupidthings!’
ontheirslates，andshecouldevenmakeoutthatoneofthemdidn’tknowhowtospell`stupid，’andthathehadtoaskhisneighbourtotellhim。`Anicemuddletheirslates’llbeinbeforethetrial’sover!’thoughtAlice。
Oneofthejurorshadapencilthatsqueaked。Thisofcourse，Alicecouldnotstand，andshewentroundthecourtandgotbehindhim，andverysoonfoundanopportunityoftakingitaway。Shediditsoquicklythatthepoorlittlejuror（itwasBill，theLizard）couldnotmakeoutatallwhathadbecomeofit；so，afterhuntingallaboutforit，hewasobligedtowritewithonefingerfortherestoftheday；andthiswasofverylittleuse，asitleftnomarkontheslate。
`Herald，readtheaccusation!’saidtheKing。
OnthistheWhiteRabbitblewthreeblastsonthetrumpet，andthenunrolledtheparchmentscroll，andreadasfollows：——
`TheQueenofHearts，shemadesometarts，Allonasummerday：
TheKnaveofHearts，hestolethosetarts，Andtookthemquiteaway!’
`Consideryourverdict，’theKingsaidtothejury。
`Notyet，notyet!’theRabbithastilyinterrupted。`There’sagreatdealtocomebeforethat!’
`Callthefirstwitness，’saidtheKing；andtheWhiteRabbitblewthreeblastsonthetrumpet，andcalledout，`Firstwitness!’
ThefirstwitnesswastheHatter。Hecameinwithateacupinonehandandapieceofbread—and—butterintheother。`Ibegpardon，yourMajesty，’hebegan，`forbringingthesein：butI
hadn’tquitefinishedmyteawhenIwassentfor。’
`Yououghttohavefinished，’saidtheKing。`Whendidyoubegin？’
TheHatterlookedattheMarchHare，whohadfollowedhimintothecourt，arm—in—armwiththeDormouse。`FourteenthofMarch，I
thinkitwas，’hesaid。
`Fifteenth，’saidtheMarchHare。
`Sixteenth，’addedtheDormouse。
`Writethatdown，’theKingsaidtothejury，andthejuryeagerlywrotedownallthreedatesontheirslates，andthenaddedthemup，andreducedtheanswertoshillingsandpence。
`Takeoffyourhat，’theKingsaidtotheHatter。
`Itisn’tmine，’saidtheHatter。
`Stolen!’theKingexclaimed，turningtothejury，whoinstantlymadeamemorandumofthefact。
`Ikeepthemtosell，’theHatteraddedasanexplanation；
`I’venoneofmyown。I’mahatter。’
HeretheQueenputonherspectacles，andbeganstaringattheHatter，whoturnedpaleandfidgeted。
`Giveyourevidence，’saidtheKing；`anddon’tbenervous，orI’llhaveyouexecutedonthespot。’
Thisdidnotseemtoencouragethewitnessatall：hekeptshiftingfromonefoottotheother，lookinguneasilyattheQueen，andinhisconfusionhebitalargepieceoutofhisteacupinsteadofthebread—and—butter。
JustatthismomentAlicefeltaverycurioussensation，whichpuzzledheragooddealuntilshemadeoutwhatitwas：shewasbeginningtogrowlargeragain，andshethoughtatfirstshewouldgetupandleavethecourt；butonsecondthoughtsshedecidedtoremainwhereshewasaslongastherewasroomforher。
`Iwishyouwouldn’tsqueezeso。’saidtheDormouse，whowassittingnexttoher。`Icanhardlybreathe。’
`Ican’thelpit，’saidAliceverymeekly：`I’mgrowing。’
`You’venorighttogrowhere，’saidtheDormouse。
`Don’ttalknonsense，’saidAlicemoreboldly：`youknowyou’regrowingtoo。’
`Yes，butIgrowatareasonablepace，’saidtheDormouse：
`notinthatridiculousfashion。’Andhegotupverysulkilyandcrossedovertotheothersideofthecourt。
AllthistimetheQueenhadneverleftoffstaringattheHatter，and，justastheDormousecrossedthecourt，shesaidtooneoftheofficersofthecourt，`Bringmethelistofthesingersinthelastconcert!’onwhichthewretchedHattertrembledso，thatheshookbothhisshoesoff。
`Giveyourevidence，’theKingrepeatedangrily，`orI’llhaveyouexecuted，whetheryou’renervousornot。’
`I’mapoorman，yourMajesty，’theHatterbegan，inatremblingvoice，`——andIhadn’tbegunmytea——notaboveaweekorso——andwhatwiththebread—and—buttergettingsothin——andthetwinklingofthetea——’
`Thetwinklingofthewhat？’saidtheKing。
`Itbeganwiththetea，’theHatterreplied。
`OfcoursetwinklingbeginswithaT!’saidtheKingsharply。
`Doyoutakemeforadunce？Goon!’
`I’mapoorman，’theHatterwenton，`andmostthingstwinkledafterthat——onlytheMarchHaresaid——’
`Ididn’t!’theMarchHareinterruptedinagreathurry。
`Youdid!’saidtheHatter。
`Idenyit!’saidtheMarchHare。
`Hedeniesit，’saidtheKing：`leaveoutthatpart。’
`Well，atanyrate，theDormousesaid——’theHatterwenton，lookinganxiouslyroundtoseeifhewoulddenyittoo：buttheDormousedeniednothing，beingfastasleep。
`Afterthat，’continuedtheHatter，`Icutsomemorebread—
and—butter——’
`ButwhatdidtheDormousesay？’oneofthejuryasked。
`ThatIcan’tremember，’saidtheHatter。
`YouMUSTremember，’remarkedtheKing，`orI’llhaveyouexecuted。’
ThemiserableHatterdroppedhisteacupandbread—and—butter，andwentdownononeknee。`I’mapoorman，yourMajesty，’hebegan。
`You’reaverypoorspeaker，’saidtheKing。
Hereoneoftheguinea—pigscheered，andwasimmediatelysuppressedbytheofficersofthecourt。（Asthatisratherahardword，Iwilljustexplaintoyouhowitwasdone。Theyhadalargecanvasbag，whichtiedupatthemouthwithstrings：
intothistheyslippedtheguinea—pig，headfirst，andthensatuponit。）
`I’mgladI’veseenthatdone，’thoughtAlice。`I’vesooftenreadinthenewspapers，attheendoftrials，\"Therewassomeattemptsatapplause，whichwasimmediatelysuppressedbytheofficersofthecourt，\"andIneverunderstoodwhatitmeanttillnow。’
`Ifthat’sallyouknowaboutit，youmaystanddown，’
continuedtheKing。
`Ican’tgonolower，’saidtheHatter：`I’monthefloor，asitis。’
`ThenyoumaySITdown，’theKingreplied。
Heretheotherguinea—pigcheered，andwassuppressed。
`Come，thatfinishedtheguinea—pigs!’thoughtAlice。`Nowweshallgetonbetter。’
`I’dratherfinishmytea，’saidtheHatter，withananxiouslookattheQueen，whowasreadingthelistofsingers。
`Youmaygo，’saidtheKing，andtheHatterhurriedlyleftthecourt，withoutevenwaitingtoputhisshoeson。
`——andjusttakehisheadoffoutside，’theQueenaddedtooneoftheofficers：buttheHatterwasoutofsightbeforetheofficercouldgettothedoor。
`Callthenextwitness!’saidtheKing。
ThenextwitnesswastheDuchess’scook。Shecarriedthepepper—boxinherhand，andAliceguessedwhoitwas，evenbeforeshegotintothecourt，bythewaythepeoplenearthedoorbegansneezingallatonce。
`Giveyourevidence，’saidtheKing。
`Shan’t，’saidthecook。
TheKinglookedanxiouslyattheWhiteRabbit，whosaidinalowvoice，`YourMajestymustcross—examineTHISwitness。’
`Well，ifImust，Imust，’theKingsaid，withamelancholyair，and，afterfoldinghisarmsandfrowningatthecooktillhiseyeswerenearlyoutofsight，hesaidinadeepvoice，`Whataretartsmadeof？’
`Pepper，mostly，’saidthecook。
`Treacle，’saidasleepyvoicebehindher。
`CollarthatDormouse，’theQueenshriekedout。`BeheadthatDormouse!TurnthatDormouseoutofcourt!Suppresshim!Pinchhim!Offwithhiswhiskers!’
Forsomeminutesthewholecourtwasinconfusion，gettingtheDormouseturnedout，and，bythetimetheyhadsettleddownagain，thecookhaddisappeared。
`Nevermind!’saidtheKing，withanairofgreatrelief。
`Callthenextwitness。’AndheaddedinanundertonetotheQueen，`Really，mydear，YOUmustcross—examinethenextwitness。
Itquitemakesmyforeheadache!’
AlicewatchedtheWhiteRabbitashefumbledoverthelist，feelingverycurioustoseewhatthenextwitnesswouldbelike，`——fortheyhaven’tgotmuchevidenceYET，’shesaidtoherself。
Imaginehersurprise，whentheWhiteRabbitreadout，atthetopofhisshrilllittlevoice，thename`Alice!’
CHAPTERXII
Alice’sEvidence`Here!’criedAlice，quiteforgettingintheflurryofthemomenthowlargeshehadgrowninthelastfewminutes，andshejumpedupinsuchahurrythatshetippedoverthejury—boxwiththeedgeofherskirt，upsettingallthejurymenontotheheadsofthecrowdbelow，andtheretheylaysprawlingabout，remindingherverymuchofaglobeofgoldfishshehadaccidentallyupsettheweekbefore。
`Oh，IBEGyourpardon!’sheexclaimedinatoneofgreatdismay，andbeganpickingthemupagainasquicklyasshecould，fortheaccidentofthegoldfishkeptrunninginherhead，andshehadavaguesortofideathattheymustbecollectedatonceandputbackintothejury—box，ortheywoulddie。
`Thetrialcannotproceed，’saidtheKinginaverygravevoice，`untilallthejurymenarebackintheirproperplaces——
ALL，’herepeatedwithgreatemphasis，lookinghardatAliceashesaiddo。
Alicelookedatthejury—box，andsawthat，inherhaste，shehadputtheLizardinheaddownwards，andthepoorlittlethingwaswavingitstailaboutinamelancholyway，beingquiteunabletomove。Shesoongotitoutagain，andputitright；`notthatitsignifiesmuch，’shesaidtoherself；`IshouldthinkitwouldbeQUITEasmuchuseinthetrialonewayupastheother。’
Assoonasthejuryhadalittlerecoveredfromtheshockofbeingupset，andtheirslatesandpencilshadbeenfoundandhandedbacktothem，theysettoworkverydiligentlytowriteoutahistoryoftheaccident，allexcepttheLizard，whoseemedtoomuchovercometodoanythingbutsitwithitsmouthopen，gazingupintotheroofofthecourt。
`Whatdoyouknowaboutthisbusiness？’theKingsaidtoAlice。
`Nothing，’saidAlice。
`NothingWHATEVER？’persistedtheKing。
`Nothingwhatever，’saidAlice。
`That’sveryimportant，’theKingsaid，turningtothejury。
Theywerejustbeginningtowritethisdownontheirslates，whentheWhiteRabbitinterrupted：`UNimportant，yourMajestymeans，ofcourse，’hesaidinaveryrespectfultone，butfrowningandmakingfacesathimashespoke。
`UNimportant，ofcourse，Imeant，’theKinghastilysaid，andwentontohimselfinanundertone，`important——unimportant——
unimportant——important——’asifheweretryingwhichwordsoundedbest。
Someofthejurywroteitdown`important，’andsome`unimportant。’Alicecouldseethis，asshewasnearenoughtolookovertheirslates；`butitdoesn’tmatterabit，’shethoughttoherself。
AtthismomenttheKing，whohadbeenforsometimebusilywritinginhisnote—book，cackledout`Silence!’andreadoutfromhisbook，`RuleForty—two。ALLPERSONSMORETHANAMILE
HIGHTOLEAVETHECOURT。’
EverybodylookedatAlice。
`I’Mnotamilehigh，’saidAlice。
`Youare，’saidtheKing。
`Nearlytwomileshigh，’addedtheQueen。
`Well，Ishan’tgo，atanyrate，’saidAlice：`besides，that’snotaregularrule：youinventeditjustnow。’
`It’stheoldestruleinthebook，’saidtheKing。
`ThenitoughttobeNumberOne，’saidAlice。
TheKingturnedpale，andshuthisnote—bookhastily。
`Consideryourverdict，’hesaidtothejury，inalow，tremblingvoice。
`There’smoreevidencetocomeyet，pleaseyourMajesty，’saidtheWhiteRabbit，jumpingupinagreathurry；`thispaperhasjustbeenpickedup。’
`What’sinit？’saidtheQueen。
`Ihaven’topenedityet，’saidtheWhiteRabbit，`butitseemstobealetter，writtenbytheprisonerto——tosomebody。’
`Itmusthavebeenthat，’saidtheKing，`unlessitwaswrittentonobody，whichisn’tusual，youknow。’
`Whoisitdirectedto？’saidoneofthejurymen。
`Itisn’tdirectedatall，’saidtheWhiteRabbit；`infact，there’snothingwrittenontheOUTSIDE。’Heunfoldedthepaperashespoke，andadded`Itisn’taletter，afterall：it’sasetofverses。’
`Aretheyintheprisoner’shandwriting？’askedanotheroftheyjurymen。
`No，they’renot，’saidtheWhiteRabbit，`andthat’sthequeerestthingaboutit。’（Thejuryalllookedpuzzled。）
`Hemusthaveimitatedsomebodyelse’shand，’saidtheKing。
（Thejuryallbrightenedupagain。）
`PleaseyourMajesty，’saidtheKnave，`Ididn’twriteit，andtheycan’tproveIdid：there’snonamesignedattheend。’
`Ifyoudidn’tsignit，’saidtheKing，`thatonlymakesthematterworse。YouMUSThavemeantsomemischief，orelseyou’dhavesignedyournamelikeanhonestman。’
Therewasageneralclappingofhandsatthis：itwasthefirstreallycleverthingtheKinghadsaidthatday。
`ThatPROVEShisguilt，’saidtheQueen。
`Itprovesnothingofthesort!’saidAlice。`Why，youdon’tevenknowwhatthey’reabout!’
`Readthem，’saidtheKing。
TheWhiteRabbitputonhisspectacles。`WhereshallIbegin，pleaseyourMajesty？’heasked。
`Beginatthebeginning，’theKingsaidgravely，`andgoontillyoucometotheend：thenstop。’
TheseweretheversestheWhiteRabbitread：——
`Theytoldmeyouhadbeentoher，Andmentionedmetohim：
Shegavemeagoodcharacter，ButsaidIcouldnotswim。
HesentthemwordIhadnotgone（Weknowittobetrue）：
Ifsheshouldpushthematteron，Whatwouldbecomeofyou？
Igaveherone，theygavehimtwo，Yougaveusthreeormore；
Theyallreturnedfromhimtoyou，Thoughtheywereminebefore。
IfIorsheshouldchancetobeInvolvedinthisaffair，Hetruststoyoutosetthemfree，Exactlyaswewere。
Mynotionwasthatyouhadbeen（Beforeshehadthisfit）
AnobstaclethatcamebetweenHim，andourselves，andit。
Don’tlethimknowshelikedthembest，ForthismusteverbeAsecret，keptfromalltherest，Betweenyourselfandme。’
`That’sthemostimportantpieceofevidencewe’veheardyet，’
saidtheKing，rubbinghishands；`sonowletthejury——’
`Ifanyoneofthemcanexplainit，’saidAlice，（shehadgrownsolargeinthelastfewminutesthatshewasn’tabitafraidofinterruptinghim，）`I’llgivehimsixpence。_I_don’tbelievethere’sanatomofmeaninginit。’
Thejuryallwrotedownontheirslates，`SHEdoesn’tbelievethere’sanatomofmeaninginit，’butnoneofthemattemptedtoexplainthepaper。
`Ifthere’snomeaninginit，’saidtheKing，`thatsavesaworldoftrouble，youknow，asweneedn’ttrytofindany。AndyetIdon’tknow，’hewenton，spreadingouttheversesonhisknee，andlookingatthemwithoneeye；`Iseemtoseesomemeaninginthem，afterall。\"——SAIDICOULDNOTSWIM——\"youcan’tswim，canyou？’headded，turningtotheKnave。
TheKnaveshookhisheadsadly。`DoIlooklikeit？’hesaid。
（WhichhecertainlydidNOT，beingmadeentirelyofcardboard。）
`Allright，sofar，’saidtheKing，andhewentonmutteringovertheversestohimself：`\"WEKNOWITTOBETRUE——\"that’sthejury，ofcourse——\"IGAVEHERONE，THEYGAVEHIMTWO——\"why，thatmustbewhathedidwiththetarts，youknow——’
`But，itgoeson\"THEYALLRETURNEDFROMHIMTOYOU，\"’saidAlice。
`Why，theretheyare!’saidtheKingtriumphantly，pointingtothetartsonthetable。`NothingcanbeclearerthanTHAT。
Thenagain——\"BEFORESHEHADTHISFIT——\"youneverhadfits，mydear，Ithink？’hesaidtotheQueen。
`Never!’saidtheQueenfuriously，throwinganinkstandattheLizardasshespoke。（TheunfortunatelittleBillhadleftoffwritingonhisslatewithonefinger，ashefounditmadenomark；buthenowhastilybeganagain，usingtheink，thatwastricklingdownhisface，aslongasitlasted。）
`Thenthewordsdon’tFITyou，’saidtheKing，lookingroundthecourtwithasmile。Therewasadeadsilence。
`It’sapun!’theKingaddedinanoffendedtone，andeverybodylaughed，`Letthejuryconsidertheirverdict，’theKingsaid，foraboutthetwentiethtimethatday。
`No，no!’saidtheQueen。`Sentencefirst——verdictafterwards。’
`Stuffandnonsense!’saidAliceloudly。`Theideaofhavingthesentencefirst!’
`Holdyourtongue!’saidtheQueen，turningpurple。
`Iwon’t!’saidAlice。
`Offwithherhead!’theQueenshoutedatthetopofhervoice。
Nobodymoved。
`Whocaresforyou？’saidAlice，（shehadgrowntoherfullsizebythistime。）`You’renothingbutapackofcards!’
Atthisthewholepackroseupintotheair，andcameflyingdownuponher：shegavealittlescream，halfoffrightandhalfofanger，andtriedtobeatthemoff，andfoundherselflyingonthebank，withherheadinthelapofhersister，whowasgentlybrushingawaysomedeadleavesthathadfluttereddownfromthetreesuponherface。
`Wakeup，Alicedear!’saidhersister；`Why，whatalongsleepyou’vehad!’
`Oh，I’vehadsuchacuriousdream!’saidAlice，andshetoldhersister，aswellasshecouldrememberthem，allthesestrangeAdventuresofhersthatyouhavejustbeenreadingabout；andwhenshehadfinished，hersisterkissedher，andsaid，`ItWASacuriousdream，dear，certainly：butnowrunintoyourtea；it’sgettinglate。’SoAlicegotupandranoff，thinkingwhilesheran，aswellshemight，whatawonderfuldreamithadbeen。
Buthersistersatstilljustasshelefther，leaningherheadonherhand，watchingthesettingsun，andthinkingoflittleAliceandallherwonderfulAdventures，tillshetoobegandreamingafterafashion，andthiswasherdream：——
First，shedreamedoflittleAliceherself，andonceagainthetinyhandswereclaspeduponherknee，andthebrighteagereyeswerelookingupintohers——shecouldheartheverytonesofhervoice，andseethatqueerlittletossofherheadtokeepbackthewanderinghairthatWOULDalwaysgetintohereyes——andstillasshelistened，orseemedtolisten，thewholeplacearoundherbecamealivethestrangecreaturesofherlittlesister’sdream。
ThelonggrassrustledatherfeetastheWhiteRabbithurriedby——thefrightenedMousesplashedhiswaythroughtheneighbouringpool——shecouldheartherattleoftheteacupsastheMarchHareandhisfriendssharedtheirnever—endingmeal，andtheshrillvoiceoftheQueenorderingoffherunfortunategueststoexecution——oncemorethepig—babywassneezingontheDuchess’sknee，whileplatesanddishescrashedaroundit——oncemoretheshriekoftheGryphon，thesqueakingoftheLizard’sslate—pencil，andthechokingofthesuppressedguinea—pigs，filledtheair，mixedupwiththedistantsobsofthemiserableMockTurtle。
Soshesaton，withclosedeyes，andhalfbelievedherselfinWonderland，thoughsheknewshehadbuttoopenthemagain，andallwouldchangetodullreality——thegrasswouldbeonlyrustlinginthewind，andthepoolripplingtothewavingofthereeds——therattlingteacupswouldchangetotinklingsheep—
bells，andtheQueen’sshrillcriestothevoiceoftheshepherdboy——andthesneezeofthebaby，theshriekoftheGryphon，andallthyotherqueernoises，wouldchange（sheknew）totheconfusedclamourofthebusyfarm—yard——whilethelowingofthecattleinthedistancewouldtaketheplaceoftheMockTurtle’sheavysobs。
Lastly，shepicturedtoherselfhowthissamelittlesisterofherswould，intheafter—time，beherselfagrownwoman；andhowshewouldkeep，throughallherriperyears，thesimpleandlovingheartofherchildhood：andhowshewouldgatheraboutherotherlittlechildren，andmakeTHEIReyesbrightandeagerwithmanyastrangetale，perhapsevenwiththedreamofWonderlandoflongago：andhowshewouldfeelwithalltheirsimplesorrows，andfindapleasureinalltheirsimplejoys，rememberingherownchild—life，andthehappysummerdays。