第2章

\"It’sacomfort,\"saidtheMajor,inhissarcasticway,\"tohaveafellow—soldiertotalktoinsteadofaquill—driver,whoasyetisnotevenapenny—a—liner。Eh,Derrick?Don’tyoufeelinclinedtoregretyourfool’schoicenow?YoumighthavebeenstartingoffforthewarwithLawrencenextweek,ifyouhadn’tchosenwhatyou’repleasedtocallaliterarylife。Literarylife,indeed!Ilittlethoughtasonofminewouldeverhavebeensowantinginspiritastopreferdabblingininktoalifeofaction——tobethescribblerofmerewords,ratherthananofficerofdragoons。\"

ThentomyastonishmentDerricksprangtohisfeetinhotindignation。Ineversawhimlooksohandsome,beforeorsince;forhisangerwasnotthedistorting,devilishangerthattheMajorgavewayto,butrealdownrightwrath。

\"Youspeakcontemptuouslyofmerenovels,\"hesaidinalowvoice,yetmoreclearlythanusual,andasifthewordswerewrungoutofhim。\"Whatrighthaveyoutolookdownononeofthegreatestweaponsoftheday?andwhyisawritertosubmittoscoffsandinsultsandtamelytohearhisprofessionreviled?Ihavechosentowritethemessagethathasbeengivenme,andIdon’tregretthechoice。ShouldIhaveshowngreaterspiritifIhadsoldmyfreedomandrightofjudgmenttobeoneofthenationalkillingmachines?\"

Withthathethrewdownhiscardsandstrodeoutoftheroominawhiteheatofanger。Itwasapityhemadethatlastremark,foritputhiminthewrongandneedlesslyannoyedLawrenceandtheMajor。

Butanangrymanhasnotimetoweighhiswords,and,asIsaid,pooroldDerrickwasveryhuman,andwhenwoundedtoointolerablycouldonoccasionretaliate。

TheMajorutteredanoathandlookedinastonishmentattheretreatingfigure。Derrickwassuchanextraordinarilyquiet,respectful,long—sufferingsonasarule,thatthisoutburstwasstartlingintheextreme。Moreover,itspoiltthegame,andtheoldman,chafedbytheresultofhisownill—nature,andhelplesstobringbackhispartner,wasforcedtobetakehimselftochess。I

lefthimgrumblingawaytoLawrenceaboutthevanityofauthors,andwentoutinthehopeoffindingDerrick。AsIleftthehouseIsawsomeoneturnthecornerintotheCircus,andstartinginpursuit,overtookthetall,darkfigurewhereBennettStreetopensontotheLansdowneHill。

\"I’mgladyouspokeup,oldfellow,\"Isaid,takinghisarm。

Hemodifiedhispacealittle。\"Whyisit,\"heexclaimed,\"thateveryotherprofessioncanbetakenseriously,butthatanovelist’sworkissupposedtobemereplay?GoodGod!don’twesufferenough?

Havewenothardbrainworkanddrudgeryofdeskworkandtediousgatheringofstatisticsandtroublesomesearchintodetails?Havewenotanappallingweightofresponsibilityonus?——andarewenotatthemercyofathousandcapriciouschances?\"

\"Comenow,\"Iexclaimed,\"youknowthatyouareneversohappyaswhenyouarewriting。\"

\"Ofcourse,\"hereplied;\"butthatdoesn’tmakemeresentsuchanattacktheless。Besides,youdon’tknowwhatitistohavetowriteinsuchanatmosphereasours;it’slikeaweightonone’spen。Thislifehereisnotlifeatall——it’sadailydeath,andit’skillingthebooktoo;thelastchaptersarewretched——I’mutterlydissatisfiedwiththem。\"

\"Asforthat,\"Isaidcalmly,\"youarenojudgeatall。Youcannevertelltheworthofyourownwork;thelastbitissplendid。\"

\"Icouldhavedoneitbetter,\"hegroaned。\"Butthereisalwaysaghastlydepressiondraggingonebackhere——andthenthetimeissoshort;justasonegetsintotheswingofitthebreakfastbellrings,andthencomes——\"Hebrokeoff。

Icouldwellsupplytheendofthesentence,however,forIknewthatthencametheslowtortureofatete—a—tetedaywiththeMajor,stingingsarcasms,humiliatingscoldings,vexationsanddifficultiesinnumerable。

Idrewhimtotheleft,havingnomindtogotothetopofthehill。

WeslackenedourpaceagainandwalkedtoandfroalongthebroadlevelpavementofLansdowneCrescent。Wehaditentirelytoourselves——notanothercreaturewasinsight。

\"Icouldbearitall,\"heburstforth,\"ifonlytherewasachanceofseeingFreda。Oh,youarebetteroffthanIam——atleast,youknowtheworst。Yourhopeiskilled,butminelivesonatortured,starvedlife!WouldtoGodIhadneverseenher!\"

CertainlybeforethatnightIhadneverquiterealisedtheirrevocablenessofpoorDerrick’spassion。IhadhalfhopedthattimeandseparationwouldgraduallyeffaceFredaMerrifieldfromhismemory;andIlistenedwithadireforebodingtothefloodofwretchednesswhichhepouredforthaswepacedupanddown,thinkingnowandthenhowlittlepeopleguessedatthetremendouspowershiddenunderhisusuallyquietexterior。

Atlengthhepaused,buthislastheart—brokenwordsseemedtovibrateintheairandtoforcemetospeaksomekindofcomfort。

\"Derrick,\"Isaid,\"comebackwithmetoLondon——giveupthismiserablelife。\"

Ifelthimstartalittle;evidentlynothoughtofyieldinghadcometohimbefore。Wewerepassingthehousethatusedtobelongtothatstrangebook—loverandrecluse,Beckford。Ilookedupattheblankwindows,andthoughtofthatcurious,self—centredlifeinthepast,surroundedbyeveryluxury,abletoindulgeeverywhim;andthenIlookedatmycompanion’spale,torturedface,andthoughtofthelifehehadelectedtoleadinthehopeofsavingonewhomdutyboundhimtohonour。Afterall,whichlifewasthemostworthliving——whichwasthemosttobeadmired?

Wewalkedon;downbelowusanduponthefartherhillwecouldseethelightsofBath;theplacesobeautifulbydaylookednowlikeafairycity,andtheAbbey,loomingupagainstthemoon—litsky,seemedlikesomegreatgiantkeepingwatchovertheclusteringroofsbelow。Thewell—knownchimesrangoutintothenightandtheclockstruckten。

\"Imustgoback,\"saidDerrick,quietly。\"Myfatherwillwanttogettobed。\"

Icouldn’tsayaword;weturned,passedBeckford’shouseoncemore,walkedbrisklydownthehill,andreachedtheGayStreetlodging—

house。Irememberthestiflingheatoftheroomasweenteredit,anditscontrasttothecool,dark,winter’snightoutside。Icanvividlyrecall,too,theoldMajor’sfaceashelookedupwithasarcasticremark,butwithashadeofanxietyinhisbloodshoteyes。

Hewasleaningbackinagreen—cushionedchair,andhisghastlyyellowcomplexionseemedtomemorenoticeablethanusual——hisscantygreyhairandwhiskers,thelinesofpainsoplainlyvisibleinhisface,impressedmecuriously。IthinkIhadneverbeforerealisedwhatawreckofamanhewas——howutterlydependentonothers。

Lawrence,who,todohimjustice,hadagooddealoftact,andwho,Ibelieve,caredforhisbrotherasmuchashewascapableofcaringforanyonebuthimself,repeatedagoodstorywithwhichhehadbeenenliveningtheMajor,andIdidwhatIcouldtokeepupthetalk。Derrickmeanwhileputawaythechessmen,andlightedtheMajor’scandle。HeevenmanagedtoforceupalaughatLawrence’sstory,and,ashehelpedhisfatheroutoftheroom,IthinkIwastheonlyonewhonoticedthelookoftiredenduranceinhiseyes。

ChapterV。

\"IknowHowfarhighfailureovertopstheboundsOflowsuccesses。OnlysufferingdrawsTheinnerheartofsong,andcanelicitTheperfumesofthesoul。\"

EpicofHades。

Nextweek,Lawrencewentofflikeaherotothewar;andmyfriend——

alsoIthinklikeahero——stayedonatBath,enduringasbesthecouldtheworstformofloneliness;forundoubtedlythereisnolonelinesssofrightfulasconstantcompanionshipwithanuncongenialperson。Hehad,however,oneconsolation:theMajor’shealthsteadilyimproved,underthejointinfluenceoftotalabstinenceandBathwater,and,withtheimprovement,histemperbecamealittlebetter。

ButoneSaturday,whenIhadrundowntoBathwithoutwritingbeforehand,Isuddenlyfoundadifferentstateofthings。InOrangeGroveImetDr。Mackrill,theMajor’smedicalman;heusednowandthentoplaywhistwithusonSaturdaynights,andIstoppedtospeaktohim。

\"Oh!you’vecomedownagain。That’sallright!\"hesaid。\"Yourfriendwantssomeonetocheerhimup。He’sgothisarmbroken。\"

\"Howonearthdidhemanagethat?\"Iasked。

\"Well,that’smorethanIcantellyou,\"saidtheDoctor,withanoddlookinhiseyes,asifheguessedmorethanhewouldputintowords。\"AllthatIcouldgetoutofhimwasthatitwasdoneaccidentally。TheMajorisnotsowell——nowhistforusto—night,I’mafraid。\"

Hepassedon,andImademywaytoGayStreet。Therewasanairofmysteryaboutthequaintoldlandlady;shelookedbrimfulofnewswhensheopenedthedoortome,butshemanagedto’keepherselftoherself,’andshowedmeinupontheMajorandDerrick,rathertriumphantlyIthought。TheMajorlookedterriblyill——worsethanI

hadeverseenhim,andasforDerrick,hehadthestrangestlookofshrinkingandshame—facednessyoueversaw。Hesaidhewasgladtoseeme,butIknewthathelied。Hewouldhavegivenanythingtohavekeptmeaway。

\"Brokenyourarm?\"Iexclaimed,feelingboundtotakesomenoticeofthesling。

\"Yes,\"hereplied;\"metwithanaccidenttoit。Butluckilyit’sonlytheleftone,soitdoesn’thindermemuch!Ihavefinishedsevenchaptersofthelastvolumeof’Lynwood,’andwasjustwantingtoaskyoualegalquestion。\"

Allthistimehiseyesboremyscrutinydefiantly;theyseemedtodaremetosayoneotherwordaboutthebrokenarm。Ididn’tdare——

indeedtothisdayIhavenevermentionedthesubjecttohim。

Butthatevening,whilehewashelpingtheMajortobed,theoldlandladymadesomepretextfortoilinguptothetopofthehouse,whereIsatsmokinginDerrick’sroom。

\"You’llexcusemymakingboldtospeaktoyou,sir,\"shesaid。I

threwdownmynewspaper,and,lookingup,sawthatshewasbubblingoverwithsomestory。

\"Well?\"Isaid,encouragingly。

\"It’saboutMr。Vaughan,sir,Iwantedtospeaktoyou。Ireallydothink,sir,it’snotsafeheshouldbeleftalonewithhisfather,sir,anylonger。Suchdoingsaswehadheretheotherday,sir!

Somehoworother——andnoneofuscan’tthinkhow——theMajorhadmanagedtogetholdofabottleofbrandy。HowhehaditIdon’tknow;butwenoneofussuspectedhim,andintheafternoonhesayshewastoopoorlytogoforadriveortogooutinhischair,andsettlesoffontheparloursofaforanapwhileMr。Vaughangoesoutforawalk。Mr。Vaughanwasoutacoupleofhours。Iheardhimcomeinandgointothesitting—room;thentherecamesoundsofvoices,andascufflingoffeetandmovingofchairs,andIknewsomethingwaswrongandhurrieduptothedoor——andjustthencameacrashlikefire—irons,andIcouldheartheMajora—swearingfearful。NothearingasoundfromMr。Vaughan,Igotscared,sir,andopenedthedoor,andthereIsawtheMajoraleaningupagainstthemantelpieceasdrunkasalord,andhissonseemedtohavegotthebottlefromhim;itwashalfempty,andwhenhesawmehejusthandedittomeandorderedmetotakeitaway。ThenbetweenuswegottheMajortoliedownonthesofaandlefthimthere。WhenwegotoutintothepassageMr。Vaughanheleantagainstthewallforaminute,lookingaswhiteasasheet,andthenInoticedforthefirsttimethathisleftarmwashangingdownathisside。’Lord!

sir,’Icried,’yourarm’sbroken。’Andhewentallatonceasredashehadbeenpalejustbefore,andsaidhehadgotitdoneaccidentally,andbademesaynothingaboutit,andwalkedoffthereandthentothedoctor’s,andhaditset。Butsir,givenamandrunkastheMajorwas,andgivenascuffletogetawaythedrinkthatwaspoisoninghim,andgivenacrashsuchasIheard,andgivenapokera—lyinginthemiddleoftheroomwhereitstandstoreasonnopokercouldgetunlessitwasthrown——why,sir,nosensiblewomanwhocanputtwoandtwotogethercandoubtthatitwasalltheMajor’sdoing。\"

\"Yes,\"Isaid,\"thatisclearenough;butforMr。Vaughan’ssakewemusthushitup;and,asforsafety,why,theMajorishardlystrongenoughtodohimanyworsedamagethanthat。\"

Thegoodoldthingwipedawayatearfromhereyes。ShewasveryfondofDerrick,anditwenttoherheartthatheshouldleadsuchadog’slife。

IsaidwhatIcouldtocomforther,andshewentdownagain,fearfullestheshoulddiscoverherupstairsandguessthatshehadopenedherhearttome。

PoorDerrick!Thatheofallpeopleonearthshouldbemixedupwithsuchapolicecourtstory——withdrunkard,andviolence,andpokersfiguringinit!IlaybackinthecampchairandlookedatHoffman’s’Christ,’andthoughtofalltheextraordinaryproblemsthatoneisforevercomingacrossinlife。AndIwonderedwhetherthepeopleofBathwhosawthetall,impassive—looking,hazel—eyedsonandtheinvalidfatherintheirdailypilgrimagestothePumpRoom,orinchurchonSunday,orintheParkonsunnyafternoonshadtheleastnotionofthetragedythatwasgoingon。Myreflectionswereinterruptedbyhisentrance。HehadforcedupacheerfulnessthatIamsurehedidn’treallyfeel,andseemedafraidoflettingourtalkflagforamoment。Iremember,too,thatforthefirsttimeheofferedtoreadmehisnovel,insteadofasusualwaitingformetoasktohearit。Icanseehimnow,fetchingtheuntidyportfolioandturningoverthepages,adroitlyenough,asthoughanxioustoshowhowimmaterialwasthelossofaleftarm。ThatnightIlistenedtothefirsthalfofthethirdvolumeof’Lynwood’sHeritage,’andcouldn’thelpreflectingthatitsauthorseemedtothriveonmisery;andyethowIgrudgedhimtothisdeadly—livelyplace,andthismonotonous,cooped—uplife。

\"Howdoyoumanagetowriteone—handed?\"Iasked。

Andhesatdowntohisdesk,putaletter—weightontheleft—handcornerofthesheetoffoolscap,andwrotethatcomicalfirstparagraphoftheeighthchapteroverwhichwehavealllaughed。I

supposefewreadersguessedtheauthor’sstateofmindwhenhewroteit。Ilookedoverhisshouldertoseewhathehadwritten,andcouldn’thelplaughingaloud——Iverilybelievethatitwashiswayofturningoffattentionfromhisarm,andleadingmesafelyfromtheregionofawkwardquestions。

\"By—the—by,\"Iexclaimed,\"yourwritingofgarden—partiesremindsme。IwenttooneatCampdenHilltheotherday,andhadthegoodfortunetomeetMissFredaMerrifield。\"

Howhisfacelightedup,poorfellow,andwhatafloodofquestionshepouredout。\"Shelookedverywellandverypretty,\"Ireplied。

\"Iplayedtwosetsoftenniswithher。Sheaskedafteryoudirectlyshesawme,seemingtothinkthatwealwayshuntedincouples。I

toldheryouwerelivinghere,takingcareofaninvalidfather;butjustthenupcametheotherstoarrangethegame。SheandIgotthebestcourts,andaswecrossedovertothemshetoldmeshehadmetyourbrotherseveraltimeslastautumn,whenshehadbeenstayingnearAldershot。Oddthathenevermentionedherhere;butIdon’tsupposeshemademuchimpressiononhim。Sheisnotatallhisstyle。\"

\"Didyouhavemuchmoretalkwithher?\"heasked。

\"No,nothingtobecalledtalk。ShetoldmetheywereleavingLondonnextweek,andshewaslongingtogetbacktothecountrytoherbelovedanimals——rabbits,poultry,anaviary,andallthatkindofthing。Ishouldgatherthattheyhadkeptherratherinthebackgroundthisseason,butIunderstandthattheeldestsisteristobemarriedinthewinter,andthennodoubtMissFredawillbebroughtforward。\"

Heseemedwonderfullycheeredbythisopportunemeeting,andthoughtherewassolittletotellheappearedtobequitecontent。IlefthimonMondayinfairlygoodspirits,anddidnotcomeacrosshimagaintillSeptember,whenhisarmwaswell,andhisnovelfinishedandrevised。Henevermadetwocopiesofhiswork,andIfancythiswasperhapsbecausehespentsoshortatimeeachdayinactualwriting,andlivedsocontinuallyinhiswork;moreover,asIsaidbefore,hedetestedpenmanship。

Thelastpartof’Lynwood’farexceededmyexpectations;perhaps——

yetIdon’treallythinkso——Iviewedittoofavourably。ButIowedthebookadebtofgratitude,sinceitcertainlyhelpedmethroughtheworstpartofmylife。

\"Don’tyoufeelflatnowitisfinished?\"Iasked。

\"IfeltsomiserablethatIhadtoplungeintoanotherstorythreedaysafter,\"hereplied;andthenandtherehegavemethesketchofhissecondnovel,’AtStrife,’andtoldmehowhemeanttoweaveinhischildishfanciesaboutthedefenceofthebridgeintheCivilWars。

\"Andabout’Lynwood?’Areyoucominguptotowntohawkhimround?\"

Iasked。

\"Ican’tdothat,\"hesaid;\"youseeIamtiedhere。No,Imustsendhimoffbyrail,andlethimtakehischance。\"

\"Nosuchthing!\"Icried。\"Ifyoucan’tleaveBathIwilltakehimroundforyou。\"

AndDerrick,whowiththeoddestinconsistencywouldlethisMS。lieaboutanyhowathome,buthatedthethoughtofsendingitoutaloneonitstravels,gladlyacceptedmyoffer。SonextweekIsetoffwiththehugebrownpaperparcel;few,however,willappreciatemygoodnature,fornoonebutanauthororapublisherknowsthefearfulweightofathreevolumenovelinMS。!TomyintensesatisfactionIsoongotridofit,forthefirstgoodfirmtowhichItookitreceiveditwithgreatpoliteness,tobehandedovertotheir’reader’foranopinion;andapparentlythe’reader’s’opinioncoincidedwithmine,foramonthlaterDerrickreceivedanofferforitwithwhichheatonceclosed——notbecauseitwasagoodone,butbecausethefirmwaswellthoughtof,andbecausehewishedtolosenotime,buttohavethebookpublishedatonce。Ihappenedtobetherewhenhisfirst’proofs’arrived。TheMajorhadhadanattackofjaundice,andwasinafiendishhumour。Wehadamiserabletimeofitatdinner,forhebadgeredDerrickalmostpastbearing,andI

thinkthepooroldfellowmindeditmorewhentherewasathirdpersonpresent。Somehowthroughallhemanagedtokeephisextraordinarycapacityforreverencingmereage——eventhisdegradedanddetestableoldageoftheMajor’s。Ioftenthoughtthatinthishewaslikemyownancestor,HugoWharncliffe,whosedeferenceandrespectfulnessandpatiencehadnotdescendedtome,whileunfortunatelytheeffectsofhisphysicalinfirmitieshad。I

sometimesusedtoreflectbitterlyenoughonthetruthofHerbertSpencer’steachingastoheredity,soclearlyshowninmyowncase。

Intheyear1683,throughtheabominablecrueltyandharshnessofhisbrotherRandolph,thisHugoWharncliffe,mygreat—great—great—

great—greatgrandfather,wasimmuredinNewgate,andhisconstitutionwastherebysomuchimpairedandenfeebledthat,twohundredyearsafter,myconstitutionispayingthepenalty,andmywholelifeistherebychangedandthwarted。HencethischildlessRandolphisaffectingthecourseofseverallivesinthe19thcenturytotheirgrievoushurt。

Butrevenonsanosmoutons——thatistosay,toourlionandlamb——

theoldbruteofaMajorandhislong—sufferingson。

Whilethetablewasbeingcleared,theMajortookfortywinksonthesofa,andwetwobeataretreat,litupourpipesinthepassage,andwerejustturningoutwhenthepostman’sdoubleknockcame,butnoshowersoflettersinthebox。Derrickthrewopenthedoor,andthemanhandedhimafat,stumpy—lookingrollinapinkwrapper。

\"Isay!\"heexclaimed,\"PROOFS!\"

And,inhothaste,hebegantearingawaythepinkpaper,tilloutcametheclean,foldedbitsofprintingandthedirtyanddishevelledbluefoolscap,thelookofwhichIknewsowell。Itisanoddfeeling,thatfirstseeingone’sselfinprint,andIcouldguess,eventhen,whatathrillshotthroughDerrickasheturnedoverthepages。Buthewouldnottakethemintothesitting—room,nodoubtdreadinganotherdiatribeagainsthisprofession;andwesolemnlyplayedeuchre,andpatientlyenduredtheMajor’switheringsarcasmstillteno’clocksoundedourhappyrelease。

However,tomakealongstoryshort,amonthlater——thatis,attheendofNovember——’Lynwood’sHeritage’waspublishedinthreevolumeswithmaroonclothandgiltlettering。Derrickhaddistributedamonghisfriendsthepublishers’announcementofthedayofpublication;

andwhenitwasoutIbesiegedthelibrariesforit,alwaysexpressingsurpriseifIdidnotfinditintheirlists。Thenbeganthetimeofreviews。AsIhadexpected,theywereextremelyfavourable,withtheexceptionoftheHerald,theStroller,andtheHour,whichmadeitratherhotforhim,thelatterinparticularpitchingintohisviewsandassuringitsreadersthatthebookwas’dangerous,’anditsauthorabelieverin——variousthingespeciallyrepugnanttoDerrick,atithappened。

Iwaswithhimwhenhereadthesereviews。OvertheclevernessofthesatiricalattackintheWeeklyHeraldhelaughedheartily,thoughthelaughwasagainsthimself;andastothecriticwhowroteintheStrolleritwasapparenttoallwhoknew’Lynwood’thathehadnotreadmuchofthebook;butoverthisreviewintheHourhewasgenuinelyangry——ithurthimpersonally,and,asitafterwardsturnedout,playednosmallpartinthestoryofhislife。Thegoodreviews,however,weremany,andtheirrecommendationofthebookhearty;theyallprophesiedthatitwouldbeagreatsuccess。Yet,spiteofthis,’Lynwood’sHeritage’didn’tsell。Wasit,asIhadfeared,thatDerrickwastoodevoidofthepushingfacultyevertomakeasuccessfulwriter?Orwasitthathewashandicappedbybeingdownintheprovincesplayingkeepertothatabominableoldbear?Anyhow,thebookwaswellreceived,readwithenthusiasmbyanextremelysmallcircle,andthenitdroppeddowntothebottomamongthemassofoverlookedliterature,anditscareerseemedtobeover。IcanrecallthelookinDerrick’sfacewhenonedayheglancedthroughthenewMudieandSmithlistsandfound’Lynwood’sHeritage’nolongerdown。IhadbeentryingtocheerhimupaboutthebookandquotingallthefavourableremarksIhadheardaboutit。Butunluckilythiswasdamningevidenceagainstmyoptimistview。

Hesighedheavilyandputdownthelists。

\"It’snousetodeceiveone’sself,\"hesaid,drearily,\"’Lynwood’

hasfailed。\"

Somethinginthedeepdepressionoflookandtonegavemeamomentaryinsightintotheauthor’sheart。Hethought,Iknow,oftheagonyofmindthisbookhadcosthim;ofthoselongmonthsofwaitingandtheirdeadlystruggle,ofthehopeswhichhadmadeallhepassedthroughseemsowellworthwhile;andthebitternessofthedisappointmentwasnodoubtintensifiedbytheknowledgethattheMajorwouldrejoiceoverit。

WewalkedthatafternoonalongtheBradfordValley,aroadwhichDerrickwasspeciallyfondof。Helovedthethickly—woodedhills,andtheglimpsesoftheAvon,which,flankedbythecanalandtherailway,runsparallelwiththehighroad;healwaysadmired,too,acertainlittlevillagewithgreystonecottageswhichlayinthisdirection,andlikedtolookatthesiteoftheoldhallneartheroad:nothingremainedofitbutthetallgatepostsandrustyirongateslookingstrangelydrearyanddeserted,andwithinonecouldsee,betweensomedarkyewtrees,anoldterracewalkwithstonestepsandbalustrades——themostghostly—lookingplaceyoucanconceive。

\"Iknowyou’llputthisintoabooksomeday,\"Isaid,laughing。

\"Yes,\"hesaid,\"itisalreadybeginningtosimmerinmybrain。\"

Apparentlyhisdeepdisappointmentastohisfirstventurehadinnowayaffectedhisperfectlyclearconsciousnessthat,comewhatwould,hehadtowrite。

AswewalkedbacktoBathhetoldmehis’RuinedHall’storyasfarasithadyetevolveditselfinhisbrain,andwewerestilldiscussingitwheninMilsomStreetwemetaboycryingeveningpapers,anddetailsofthelastgreatbattleatSaspatarasHill。

Derrickbrokeoffhastily,everythingbutanxietyforLawrencedrivenfromhismind。

ChapterVI。

\"Saynot,OSoul,thouartdefeated,Becausethouartdistressed;

Ifthouofbetterthingartcheated,Thoucanstnotbeofbest。\"

T。T。Lynch。

\"Goodheavens,Sydney!\"heexclaimedingreatexcitementandwithhiswholefaceaglowwithpleasure,\"lookhere!\"

HepointedtoafewlinesinthepaperwhichmentionedtheheroicconductofLieutenantL。Vaughan,whoattheriskofhislifehadrescuedabrotherofficerwhensurroundedbytheenemyandcompletelydisabled。LieutenantVaughanhadmanagedtomountthewoundedmanonhisownhorseandhadmiraculouslyescapedhimselfwithnothingworsethanasword—thrustintheleftarm。

WewenthomeintriumphtotheMajor,andDerrickreadthewholeaccountaloud。Withallhisdetestationofwar,hewasneverthelessgreatlystirredbythedescriptionofthegallantdefenceoftheattackedposition——andforatimewewereallatone,andcouldtalkofnothingbutLawrence’sheroism,andVictoriaCrosses,andtheprospectsofpeace。However,alltoosoon,theMajor’sfiendishtemperreturned,andhebegantousetheeventofthedayasaweaponagainstDerrick,continuallytauntinghimwiththecontrastbetweenhisstay—at—homelifeofscribblingandLawrence’slifeofheroicadventure。Icouldnevermakeoutwhetherhewantedtogoadhissonintoleavinghim,inorderthathemightdrinkhimselftodeathinpeace,orwhetherhemerelyindulgedinhisnaturalloveoftormenting,valuingDerrick’sdevotionasconducivetohisowncomfort,andknowingthathardwordswouldnotdrivehimfromwhathedeemedtobehisduty。Iratherinclinetothelatterview,buttheoldMajorwasalwaysanenigmatome;norcanItothisdaymakeouthisraison—d’etre,exceptonthetheorythatthetrainingofanovelistrequiredacourseofslowtorture,andthattheoldmanwassentintotheworldtobeasortofthorninthefleshofDerrick。

Whatwiththedisappointmentabouthisfirstbook,andthedifficultyofwritinghissecond,thefiercecravingforFreda’spresence,thestrugglenottoallowhisadmirationforLawrence’sbraverytobecomepoisonedbyenvyundertheinfluenceoftheMajor’sincessantattacks,Derrickhadjustthenahardtimeofit。

Henevercomplained,butInoticedagreatchangeinhim;hismelancholyincreased,hisflashesofhumourandmerrimentbecamefewerandfewer——Ibegantobeafraidthathewouldbreakdown。

\"ForGod’ssake!\"IexclaimedoneeveningwhenleftalonewiththeDoctorafteraneveningofwhist,\"doordertheMajortoLondon。

Derrickhasbeenmewedupherewithhimfornearlytwoyears,andI

don’tthinkhecanstanditmuchlonger。\"

SotheDoctorkindlycontrivedtoadvisetheMajortoconsultawell—knownLondonphysician,andtospendafortnightintown,furthersuggestingthatamonthatBenRhyddingmightbeenjoyablebeforesettlingdownatBathagainforthewinter。LuckilytheMajortooktotheidea,andjustasLawrencereturnedfromthewarDerrickandhisfatherarrivedintown。Thechangeseemedlikelytoworkwell,andIwasablenowandthentoreleasemyfriendandplaycribbagewiththeoldmanforanhourortwowhileDerricktoreaboutLondon,interviewedhispublisher,maderesearchesintoseventeenthcenturydocumentsattheBritishMuseum,andsomehowmanagedinhisrapidwaytoacquirethoseglimpsesoflifeandcharacterwhichheafterwardsturnedtosuchgoodaccount。Allwasgristthatcametohismill,andatfirstthemeresightofhisoldhome,London,seemedtorevivehim。OfcourseattheveryfirstopportunityhecalledattheProbyns’,andwebothofushadaninvitationtogothereonthefollowingWednesdaytoseethemarchpastofthetroopsandtolunch。Derrickwasnearlybesidehimselfattheprospect,forheknewthatheshouldcertainlymeetFredaatlast,andthemingledpainandblissofbeingactuallyinthesameplacewithher,yetascompletelyseparatedasifseasrolledbetweenthem,wasbeginningtotryhimterribly。

MeantimeLawrencehadturnedupagain,greatlyimprovedineverywaybyallthathehadlivedthrough,butrathertooreadytofallinwithhisfather’stonetowardsDerrick。Therelationsbetweenthetwobrothers——alwaysalittlepeculiar——becamemoreandmoredifficult,andtheMajorseemedtoenjoypittingthemagainsteachother。

Atlengththedayofthereviewarrived。Derrickwasnotlookingwell,hiseyeswereheavywithsleeplessness,andtheMajorhadbeenunusuallyexasperatingatbreakfastthatmorning,sothathestartedwithajaded,worn—outfeelingthatwouldnotwhollyyieldeventotheexcitementofthislong—expectedmeetingwithFreda。Whenhefoundhimselfinthegreatdrawing—roomatLordProbyn’shouse,amidabuzzoftalkandacrowdofstrangefaces,hewasseizedwithoneofthosesuddenattacksofshynesstowhichhewasalwaysliable。

Infact,hehadbeensolongalonewiththeoldMajorthatthisplungeintosocietywastoogreatareaction,andtheverythinghehadlongedforbecameatorturetohim。

FredawasattheotherendoftheroomtalkingtoKeithCollins,thewell—knownmemberforCodrington,whosecuriousbutattractivefacewasknowntoalltheworldthroughthecaricaturesofitin’Punch。’

IknewthatshesawDerrick,andthatheinstantlyperceivedher,andthatamiserablesenseofseparation,ofdistance,ofhopelessnessoverwhelmedhimashelooked。Afterall,itwasnaturalenough。FortwoyearshehadthoughtofFredanightandday;inhisunutterablydrearylifehermemoryhadbeenhisrefreshment,hissolace,hiscompanion。Nowhewassuddenlybroughtfacetoface,notwiththeFredaofhisdreams,butwithafashionable,beautifullydressed,much—soughtgirl,andhefeltthatagulflaybetweenthem;itwasthegulfofexperience。Freda’slifeinsociety,thewhirlofgaiety,theexcitementandsuccesswhichshehadbeenenjoyingthroughouttheseason,andhismiserablemonotonyofcompanionshipwithhisinvalidfather,ofhardworkandwearydisappointment,hadbrokendownthebondofunionthathadonceexistedbetweenthem。Fromeithersidetheylookedateachother——Fredawithawonderingperplexity,Derrickwithadullgrindingpainathisheart。

Ofcoursetheyspoketoeachother;butIfancythemerestplatitudespassedbetweenthem。Somehowtheyhadlosttouch,andacrowdedLondondrawing—roomwashardlytheplacetoregainit。

\"Soyournovelisreallyout,\"Iheardhersaytohiminthatdeep,clearvoiceofhers。\"Ilikethedesignonthecover。\"

\"Oh,haveyoureadthebook?\"saidDerrick,colouring。

\"Well,no,\"shesaidtruthfully。\"Iwantedtoreadit,butmyfatherwouldn’tletme——heisveryparticularaboutwhatweread。\"

ThatfrankbutnotveryhappilywordedanswerwaslikeastabtopoorDerrick。Hehadgiventotheworldthenabookthatwasnotfitforhertoread!This’Lynwood,’whichhadbeenwrittenwithhisownheart’sblood,wascountedadangerous,poisonousthing,fromwhichshemustbeguarded!

Fredamusthaveseenthatshehadhurthim,forshetriedhardtoretrieveherwords。

\"Itwastantalisingtohaveitactuallyinthehouse,wasn’tit?I

haveagrudgeagainsttheHour,foritwasthereviewinthatwhichsetmyfatheragainstit。\"Thenratheranxioustoleavethedifficultsubject——\"Andhasyourbrotherquiterecoveredfromhiswound?\"

IthinkshewasalittlevexedthatDerrickdidnotshowmoreanimationinhisrepliesaboutLawrence’sadventuresduringthewar;

thelessherespondedthemoreenthusiasticshebecame,andIamperfectlysurethatinherheartshewasthinking:

\"Heisjealousofhisbrother’sfame——Iamdisappointedinhim。Hehasgrowndull,andabsent,andstupid,andheisdreadfullywantinginsmall—talk。Ifearthathislifedownintheprovincesisturninghimintoabear。\"

Shebroughttheconversationbacktohisbook;buttherewasalittletouchofscorninhervoice,asifshethoughttoherself,\"I

supposeheisoneofthosepeoplewhocanonlytalkononesubject——

hisowndoings。\"Hermannerwasalmostbrusque。

\"Yournovelhashadagreatsuccess,hasitnot?\"sheasked。

Heinstantlyperceivedherthought,andrepliedwithatouchofdignityandaproudsmile:

\"Onthecontrary,ithasbeenagreatfailure;onlythreehundredandninecopieshavebeensold。\"

\"Iwonderatthat,\"saidFreda,\"foronesooftenheardittalkedof。\"

Hepromptlychangedthetopic,andbegantospeakofthemarchpast。

\"IwanttoseeLordStarcross,\"headded。\"Ihavenoideawhataheroislike。\"

JustthenLadyProbyncameup,followedbyanelderlyharpyinspectaclesandfalse,much—frizzedfringe。

\"Mrs。Carsteenwishestobeintroducedtoyou,Mr。Vaughan;sheisagreatadmirerofyourwritings。\"

AndpoorDerrick,whowasthenquiteunusedtothespecies,hadtostandandreceiveafloodofthemostfulsomeflattery,deliveredinastridentvoice,andtobearthecriticalandprolongedstareofthespectacledeyes。Norwouldtheharpyeasilyreleaseherprey。

Shekepthimmuchagainsthiswill,andIsawhimlookingwistfullynowandthentowardsFreda。

\"Itamusesme,\"Isaidtoher,\"thatDerrickVaughanshouldbesoanxioustoseeLordStarcross。ItremindsmeofCharlesLamb’sanxietytoseeKosciusko,’for,’saidhe,’Ihaveneverseenahero;

Iwonderhowtheylook,’whileallthetimehehimselfwaslivingalifeofheroicself—sacrifice。\"

\"Mr。Vaughan,Ishouldthink,needonlylookathisownbrother,\"

saidFreda,missingthedriftofmyspeech。

IlongedtotellherwhatitwaspossibletotellofDerrick’slife,butatthatmomentSirRichardMerrifieldintroducedtohisdaughteragirlinahugehatandgreatfloppingsleeves,MissIsaacson,whosepictureattheGrosvenorhadbeensomuchtalkedof。Nowthelittleartistknewnooneintheroom,andFredasawfittobeextremelyfriendlytoher。Shewasintroducedtome,andIdidmybesttotalktoherandsetFredaatlibertyassoonastheharpyhadreleasedDerrick;butmyendeavourswerefrustrated,forMissIsaacson,havinglookedmewellover,decidedthatIwasnotatallintense,butamerecommonplace,slightlycynicalworldling,andhavingexchangedafewlukewarmremarkswithme,shereturnedtoFreda,andstucktoherlikeaburfortherestofthetime。

Westoodoutonthebalconytoseethetroopsgoby。Itwasafinesight,andweallbecamehighlyenthusiastic。Fredaenjoyedthemerepageantlikeachild,andwasdelightedwiththehorses。ShelookednowmoreliketheFredaoftheyacht,andIwishedthatDerrickcouldbenearher;but,asill—luckwouldhaveit,hewasatsomedistance,hemmedinbyanimpassablebarrierofeagerspectators。

LawrenceVaughanrodepast,lookingwonderfullywellinhisuniform。

Hewasridingaspiritedbay,whichtookFreda’sfancyamazingly,thoughshereservedherchiefenthusiasmforLordStarcrossandhissteed。Itwasnotuntilallwasover,andwehadreturnedtothedrawing—room,thatDerrickmanagedtogetthetalkwithFredaforwhichIknewhewaslonging,andthentheywerefated,apparently,todisagree。Iwasstandingnearandoverheardthecloseoftheirtalk。

\"IdobelieveyoumustbeamemberofthePeaceSociety!\"saidFredaimpatiently。\"OrperhapsyouhaveturnedQuaker。ButIwanttointroduceyoutomygod—father,Mr。Fleming;youknowitwashissonwhomyourbrothersaved。\"

AndIheardDerrickbeingintroducedasthebrotheroftheheroofSaspatarasHill;andthenextdayhereceivedacardforoneofMrs。

Fleming’sreceptions,Lawrencehavingpreviouslybeeninvitedtodinethereonthesamenight。

WhathappenedatthatpartyIneverexactlyunderstood。AllIcouldgatherwasthatLawrencehadbeentremendouslyfeted,thatFredahadbeenpresent,andthatpooroldDerrickwasasmiserableashecouldbewhenInextsawhim。Puttingtwoandtwotogether,Iguessedthathehadbeentantalisedbyameresightofher,possiblytorturedbywatchingmorefavouredmenenjoyinglongtete—a—tetes;

buthewouldsaylittleornothingaboutit,andwhen,soonafter,heandtheMajorleftLondon,Ifearedthatthefortnighthaddonemyfriendharminsteadofgood。

ChapterVII。

\"Theninthathourrejoice,sinceonlythusCanthyproudheartgrowwhollypiteous。

ThusonlytotheworldthyspeechcanflowChargedwiththesadauthorityofwoe。

SincenomannurturedintheshadecansingToatruenoteonepsalmofconquering;

WarriorsmustchantitwhomourowneyesseeRedfromthebattleandmorebruisedthanwe,Menwhohavebornetheworst,haveknownthewhole,Havefeltthelastabeyanceofthesoul。\"

F。W。H。Myers。

AboutthebeginningofAugust,IrejoinedhimatBenRhydding。TheplacesuitedtheMajoradmirably,andhisvariousbathstookupsogreatapartofeachday,thatDerrickhadmoretimetohimselfthanusual,and’AtStrife’gotonrapidly。Hemuchenjoyed,too,thebeautifulcountryround,whilethehotelitself,withitshugegatheringofallsortsandconditionsofpeople,affordedhimendlessstudiesofcharacter。TheMajorbreakfastedinhisownroom,and,beingsomuchengrossedwithhisbaths,didnotgenerallyappeartilltwelve。DerrickandIbreakfastedinthegreatdining—

hall;andonemorning,whenthemealwasover,we,asusual,strolledintothedrawing—roomtoseeiftherewereanylettersawaitingus。

\"Oneforyou,\"Iremarked,handinghimathickenvelope。

\"FromLawrence!\"heexclaimed。

\"Well,don’treaditinhere;theDoctorwillbecomingtoreadprayers。Comeoutinthegarden,\"Isaid。

Wewentoutintothebeautifulgrounds,andhetoreopentheenvelopeandbegantoreadhisletteraswewalked。AllatonceI

feltthearmwhichwaslinkedinminegiveaquick,involuntarymovement,and,lookingup,sawthatDerrickhadturneddeadlypale。

\"What’sup?\"Isaid。Buthereadonwithoutreplying;and,whenI

pausedandsatdownonashelteredrusticseat,heunconsciouslyfollowedmyexample,lookingmorelikeasleep—walkerthanamaninthepossessionofallhisfaculties。Atlasthefinishedtheletter,andlookedupinadazed,miserableway,lettinghiseyeswanderoverthefir—treesandthefragrantshrubsandtheflowersbythepath。

\"Dearoldfellow,whatisthematter?\"Iasked。

Thewordsseemedtorousehim。

Adreadfullookpassedoverhisface——thelookofonestrickentotheheart。Buthisvoicewasperfectlycalm,andfullofaghastlyself—control。

\"Fredawillbemysister—in—law,\"hesaid,ratherasifstatingthefacttohimselfthanansweringmyquestion。

\"Impossible!\"Isaid。\"Whatdoyoumean?Howcould——\"

Asiftosilencemehethrusttheletterintomyhand。Itranasfollows:

\"DearDerrick,——ForthelastfewdaysIhavebeendownintheFlemings’placeinDerbyshire,andfortunehasfavouredme,fortheMerrifieldsareheretoo。Nowprepareyourselfforasurprise。

Breakthenewstothegovernor,andsendmeyourheartiestcongratulationsbyreturnofpost。IamengagedtoFredaMerrifield,andamthehappiestfellowintheworld。Theyareawfullyfastidioussortofpeople,andIdonotbelieveSirRichardwouldhaveconsentedtosuchamatchhaditnotbeenforthatluckyimpulsewhichmademerescueDickFleming。Ithasallbeenarrangedveryquickly,asthesethingsshouldbe,butwehaveseenagooddealofeachother——firstatAldershottheyearbeforelast,andjustlatelyintown,andnowthesefourdaysdownhere——anddaysinacountryhouseareequaltoweekselsewhere。Ienclosealettertomyfather——giveittohimatasuitablemoment——but,afterall,he’ssuretoapproveofadaughter—in—lawwithsuchadowryasMissMerrifieldislikelytohave。

\"Yoursaffly。,\"LawrenceVaughan。\"

Igavehimbacktheletterwithoutaword。Indeadsilencewemovedon,tookaturningwhichledtoalittlenarrowgate,andpassedoutofthegroundstothewildmoorlandcountrybeyond。

Afterall,Fredawasinnowaytoblame。AsameregirlshehadallowedDerricktoseethatshecaredforhim;thencircumstanceshadentirelyseparatedthem;shesawmoreoftheworld,metLawrence,wasperhapsfirstattractedtohimbyhisverylikenesstoDerrick,andfinallyfellinlovewiththeherooftheseason,whomeveryonedelightedtohonour。NorcouldoneblameLawrence,whohadnonotionthathehadsupplantedhisbrother。AlltheblamelaywiththeMajor’sslaverytodrink,forifonlyhehadremainedoutinIndiaIfeelsurethatmatterswouldhavegonequitedifferently。

WetrampedonoverheatherandlingandspringyturftillwereachedtheoldruinknownastheHuntingTower;thenDerrickseemedtoawaketotherecollectionofpresentthings。Helookedathiswatch。

\"Imustgobacktomyfather,\"hesaid,forthefirsttimebreakingthesilence。

\"Youshalldonosuchthing!\"Icried。\"StayouthereandIwillseetotheMajor,andgivehimthelettertooifyoulike。\"

Hecaughtatthesuggestion,andashethankedmeIthinkthereweretearsinhiseyes。SoItooktheletterandsetoffforBenRhydding,leavinghimtogetwhatreliefhecouldfromsolitude,space,andabsolutequiet。OnceIjustglancedback,andsomehowthescenehasalwayslingeredinmymemory——thegreatstretchofdesolatemoor,thedullcrimsonoftheheather,theloweringgreyclouds,theHuntingTowerapatchofdeepergloomagainstthegloomysky,andDerrick’sfigureprostrate,ontheturf,thefacehidden,thehandsgraspingatthesprigsofheathergrowingnear。

TheMajorwasjustreadytobehelpedintothegardenwhenIreachedthehotel。WesatdownintheverysameplacewhereDerrickhadreadthenews,and,whenIjudgeditpolitic,Isuddenlyrememberedwithapologiestheletterthathadbeenentrustedtome。Theoldmanreceiveditwithsatisfaction,forhewasfondofLawrenceandproudofhim,andthenewsoftheengagementpleasedhimgreatly。

Hewasstilldiscussingitwhen,twohourslater,Derrickreturned。

\"Here’sgoodnews!\"saidtheMajor,glancingupashissonapproached。\"TrustLawrencetofallonhisfeet!Hetellsmethegirlwillhaveathousandayear。Youknowher,don’tyou?What’sshelike?\"

\"Ihavemether,\"repliedDerrick,withforcedcomposure。\"Sheisverycharming。\"

\"Lawrencehasallhiswitsabouthim,\"growledtheMajor。\"Whereasyou——\"(severaloathsinterjected)。\"Itwillbealongwhilebeforeanygirlwithadowrywilllookatyou!Whatwomenlikeisaboldmanofaction;whattheydespise,meredabblersinpenandink,writersofpoisonoussensationaltalessuchasyours!I’mquotingyourownreviewers,soyouneedn’tcontradictme!\"

Ofcoursenoonehaddreamtofcontradicting;itwouldhavebeentheworstpossiblepolicy。

\"ShallIhelpyouin?\"saidDerrick。\"Itisjustdinnertime。\"

AndasIwalkedbesidethemtothehotel,listeningtotheMajor’sfloodofirritatingwords,andglancingnowandthenatDerrick’sgrave,resoluteface,whichsuccessfullymaskedsuchbittersuffering,Icouldn’thelpreflectingthatherewascourageinfinitelymoredeservingoftheVictoriaCrossthanLawrence’simpulsiverescue。Verypatientlyhesatthroughthelongdinner。I

doubtifanybutanacuteobservercouldhavetoldthathewasintrouble;and,luckily,theworldingeneralobserveshardlyatall。

HeenduredtheMajortillitwastimeforhimtotakeaTurkishbath,andthenhavingtwohours’freedom,climbedwithmeuptherock—coveredhillatthebackofthehotel。Hewasverysilent。

ButIrememberthat,aswewatchedthesungodown——aglowingcrimsonball,halfveiledingreymist——hesaidabruptly,\"IfLawrencemakesherhappyIcanbearit。AndofcourseIalwaysknewthatIwasnotworthyofher。\"

Derrick’sroomwasalarge,gaunt,ghostlyplaceinoneofthetowersofthehotel,andinonecornerofitwasawindingstairleadingtotheroof。WhenIwentinnextmorningIfoundhimwritingawayathisnoveljustasusual,butwhenIlookedathimitseemedtomethatthenighthadagedhimfearfully。Asarule,hetookinterruptionsasamatterofcourse,andwithperfectsweetnessoftemper;butto—dayheseemedunabletodraghimselfbacktotheouterworld。Hewaswritingatadesperatepacetoo,andfrownedwhenIspoketohim。Itookupthesheetoffoolscapwhichhehadjustfinishedandglancedatthenumberofthepage——evidentlyhehadwrittenanimmensequantitysincethepreviousday。

\"Youwillknockyourselfupifyougoonatthisrate!\"Iexclaimed。

\"Nonsense!\"hesaidsharply。\"Youknowitnevertiresme。\"

Yet,allthesame,hepassedhishandverywearilyoverhisforehead,andstretchedhimselfwiththeairofonewhohadbeeninacrampingpositionformanyhours。

\"Youhavebrokenyourvow!\"Icried。\"Youhavebeenwritingatnight。\"

\"No,\"hesaid;\"itwasmorningwhenIbegan——threeo’clock。Anditpaysbettertogetupandwritethantolieawakethinking。\"

Judgingbythespeedwithwhichthenovelgrewinthenextfewweeks,IcouldtellthatDerrick’snightswereoftheworst。

Hebegan,too,tolookverythinandhaggard,andImorethanoncenoticedthatcurious’sleep—walking’expressioninhiseyes;heseemedtomejustlikeamanwhohasreceivedhisdeath—blow,yetstilllingers——halfalive,halfdead。Ihadanoddfeelingthatitwashisnovelwhichkepthimgoing,andIbegantowonderwhatwouldhappenwhenitwasfinished。

Amonthlater,whenImethimagainatBath,hehadwrittenthelastchapterof’AtStrife,’andwereaditoverthesitting—roomfireonSaturdayevening。Iwasverymuchstruckwiththebook;itseemedtomeagreatadvanceon’Lynwood’sHeritage,’andthepartwhichhehadwrittensincethatdayatBenRhyddingwasfullofanindescribablepower,asifthelifeofwhichhehadbeenrobbedhadflowedintohiswork。Whenhehaddone,hetieduptheMS。inhisusualprosaicfashion,justasifithadbeenabundleofclothes,andputitonasidetable。

ItwasarrangedthatIshouldtakeittoDavison——thepublisherof’Lynwood’sHeritage’——onMonday,andseewhatofferhewouldmakeforit。JustatthattimeIfeltsosorryforDerrickthatifhehadaskedmetohawkroundfiftynovelsIwouldhavedoneit。

Sundaymorningprovedwetanddismal;asaruletheMajor,whowasfondofmusic,attendedserviceattheAbbey,buttheweatherforcedhimnowtostayathome。Imyselfwasatthattimenochurch—goer,butDerrickwould,Iverilybelieve,assoonhavefastedaweekashavegivenupaSundaymorningservice;andhavingnomindtobelefttotheMajor’scompany,andasortofwishtobenearmyfriend,Iwentwithhim。IbelieveitisnotcorrecttoadmireBathAbbey,butforallthat’thelanternofthewest’hasalwaysseemedtomeagrandplace;asforDerrick,hehadahorrorofa’dimreligiouslight,’andalwaysstuckupforhishugewindows,andI

believehelovedtheAbbeywithallhisheart。Indeed,takingitonlyfromasensuouspointofview,Icouldquiteimaginewhatareliefhefoundhisweeklyattendancehere;bycontrastwithhishometheplacewasHeavenitself。

Aswewalkedback,Iaskedaquestionthathadlongbeeninmymind:

\"HaveyouseenanythingofLawrence?\"

\"HesawusacrossLondononourwayfromBenRhydding,\"saidDerrick,steadily。\"Fredacamewithhim,andmyfatherwasdelightedwithher。\"

Iwonderedhowtheyhadgotthroughthemeeting,butofcoursemycuriosityhadtogounsatisfied。OfonethingImightbecertain,namely,thatDerrickhadgonethroughwithitlikeaTrojan,thathehadsmiledandcongratulatedinhisquietway,andhaddonethebesttoeffacehimselfandthinkonlyofFreda。Butaseveryoneknows:

\"Facejoy’sacostlymasktowear,’TisboughtwithpangslongnourishedAndroundedtodespair;\"

andhelookednowevenmorewornandoldthanhehaddoneatBenRhyddinginthefirstdaysofhistrouble。