第3章

However,heturnedresolutelyawayfromthesubjectIhadintroducedandbegantodiscusstitlesforhisnovel。

\"It’simpossibletofindanythingnew,\"hesaid,\"absolutelyimpossible。IdeclareIshalltaketonumbers。\"

Ilaughedatthisprosaicnotion,andwewerestilldiscussingthetitlewhenwereachedhome。

\"Don’tsayanythingaboutitatlunch,\"hesaidasweentered。\"Myfatherdetestsmywriting。\"

Inoddedassentandopenedthesitting—roomdoor——astrongsmellofbrandyinstantlybecameapparent;theMajorsatinthegreenvelvetchair,whichhadbeenwheeledclosetothehearth。Hewasdrunk。

Derrickgaveanejaculationofutterhopelessness。

\"ThiswillundoallthegoodofBenRhydding!\"hesaid。\"Howonearthhashemanagedtogetit?\"

TheMajor,however,wasnotsofargoneashelooked;hecaughtuptheremarkandturnedtowardsuswithahideouslaugh。

\"Ah,yes,\"hesaid,\"that’sthequestion。Buttheoldmanhasstillsomebrains,yousee。I’llbeevenwithyouyet,Derrick。Youneedn’tthinkyou’retohaveitallyourownway。It’smyturnnow。

You’vedeprivedmeallthistimeoftheonlythingIcareforinlife,andnowIturnthetablesonyou。Titfortat。Oh!yes,I’veturnedyourd——dscribblingstoausefulpurpose,soyouneedn’tcomplain!\"

AllthishadbeenshoutedoutatthetopofhisvoiceandfreelyinterlardedwithexpressionswhichIwillnotrepeat;attheendhebrokeagainintoalaugh,andwithalook,halfidiotic,halfdevilish,pointedtowardsthegrate。

\"GoodHeavens!\"Isaid,\"whathaveyoudone?\"

BythesideofthechairIsawapieceofbrownpaper,and,catchingitup,readtheaddress——\"Messrs。Davison,PaternosterRow\";inthefireplacewasahugecharredmass。Derrickcaughthisbreath;hestoopeddownandsnatchedfromthefenderafragmentofpaperslightlyburned,butstillnotcharredbeyondrecognitionliketherest。Thewritingwasquitelegible——itwashisownwriting——thedescriptionoftheRoyalists’attackandPaulWharncliffe’sdefenceofthebridge。Ilookedfromthehalf—burntscrapofpapertothesidetablewhere,onlythepreviousnight,wehadplacedthenovel,andthen,realisingasfarasanybutanauthorcouldrealisethefrightfulthingthathadhappened,IlookedinDerrick’sface。Itswhitefuryappalledme。WhathehadbornehithertofromtheMajor,Godonlyknows,butthiswasthelastdropinthecup。Dailyinsults,ceaselessprovocation,eventhehumiliationsofpersonalviolencehehadbornewithsuperhumanpatience;butthislastinjury,thiswantonlycrueloutrage,thisdeliberatedestructionofanamountofthought,andlabour,andsufferingwhichonlythewriterhimselfcouldfullyestimate——thiswasintolerable。

WhatmighthavehappenedhadtheMajorbeensoberandinthepossessionofordinaryphysicalstrengthIhardlycaretothink。Asitwas,hisweaknessprotectedhim。Derrick’swrathwasspeechless;

withonelookofloathingandcontemptatthedrunkenman,hestrodeoutoftheroom,caughtuphishat,andhurriedfromthehouse。

TheMajorsatchucklingtohimselfforaminuteortwo,butsoonhegrewdrowsy,andbeforelongwassnoringlikeagrampus。Theoldlandladybroughtinlunch,sawthestateofthingsprettyquickly,shookherheadandcommiseratedDerrick。Then,whenshehadlefttheroom,seeingnoprospectthateitherofmycompanionswouldbeinafitstateforlunch,Imadeasolitarymeal,andhadjustfinishedwhenacabstoppedatthedoorandoutsprangDerrick。I

wentintothepassagetomeethim。

\"TheMajorisasleep,\"Iremarked。

HetooknomorenoticethanifIhadspokenofthecat。

\"I’mgoingtoLondon,\"hesaid,makingforthestairs。\"Canyougetyourbagready?There’satrainat2。5。\"

Somehowthesuddennessandtheself—controlwithwhichhemadethisannouncementcarriedmebacktothehotelatSouthampton,where,afterlisteningtotheaccountoftheship’sdoctor,hehadannouncedhisintentionoflivingwithhisfather。Formorethantwoyearshehadbornethisawfullife;hehadlostprettynearlyallthattherewastobelostandhehadgainedtheMajor’svindictivehatred。Now,halfmaddenedbypain,andhaving,ashethought,sohopelesslyfailed,hesawnothingforitbuttogo——andthatatonce。

Ipackedmybag,andthenwenttohelphim。Hewascrammingallhispossessionsintoportmanteauxandboxes;theHoffmanwasalreadypacked,andthewalllookedcuriouslybarewithoutit。ClearlythiswasnovisittoLondon——hewasleavingBathforgood,andwhocouldwonderatit?

\"Ihavearrangedfortheattendantfromthehospitaltocomeinatnightaswellasinthemorning,\"hesaid,ashelockedaportmanteauthatwasstuffedalmosttobursting。\"What’sthetime?

Wemustmakehasteorweshalllosethetrain。Do,likeagoodfellow,cramthatheapofthingsintothecarpet—bagwhileIspeaktothelandlady。\"

Atlastwewereoff,rattlingthroughthequietstreetsofBath,andreachingthestationbarelyintimetorushupthelongflightofstairsandspringintoanemptycarriage。NevershallIforgetthatjourney。Thetrainstoppedateverysinglestation,andsometimesinbetween;wewerefivemortalhoursontheroad,andmorethanonceIthoughtDerrickwouldhavefainted。However,hewasnotofthefaintingorder,heonlygrewmoreandmoreghastlyincolourandrigidinexpression。

Ifeltveryanxiousabouthim,fortheshockandthesuddenangerfollowingonthetroubleaboutFredaseemedtomeenoughtounhingeevenalesssensitivenature。’AtStrife’wasthenovelwhichhad,Ifirmlybelieve,kepthimalivethroughthatawfultimeatBenRhydding,andIbegantofearthattheMajor’sfitofdrunkenmalicemightprovethedestructionoftheauthoraswellasofthebook。

Everythinghad,asitwere,comeatonceonpoorDerrick;yetI

don’tknowthathefaredworsethanotherpeopleinthisrespect。

Life,unfortunately,isformostofusnowell—arrangedstorywithahappytermination;itisachequeredaffairofshadeandsun,andforonebeamoflighttherecomeveryoftenwidepatchesofshadow。

MenseemtohaveknownthissofarbackasShakespeare’stime,andtohaveobservedthatonewoetrodonanother’sheels,tohavebattlednotwithasinglewave,butwitha’seaoftroubles,’andtohaveremarkedthat’sorrowscomenotsingly,butinbattalions。’

However,owingIbelievechieflytohisownself—command,andtohisuntiringfacultyfortakinginfinitepainsoverhiswork,Derrickdidnotbreakdown,butpleasantlycheatedmyexpectations。Iwasnotcalledontonursehimthroughafever,andconsumptiondidnotmarkhimforherown。Infact,inthematterofillness,hewasalwaysamostprosaic,unromanticfellow,andneverindulgedinanyoftheeuphoniousandinterestingailments。Inallhislife,I

believe,heneverwentinforanythingbutthemumps——ofallcomplaintstheleastinteresting——and,maybe,anoccasionalheadache。

However,allthisisadigression。WeatlengthreachedLondon,andDerricktookaroomabovemine,nowandthendisturbingmewithnocturnalpacingsoverthecreakingboards,but,onthewhole,provinghimselfthebestofcompanions。

IfIwrotetillDoomsday,Icouldnevermakeyouunderstandhowtheburningofhisnovelaffectedhim——tothisdayitisasubjectI

instinctivelyavoidwithhim——thoughthere—written’AtStrife’hasbeensuchagrandsuccess。Forhedidre—writethestory,andthatatonce。Hesaidlittle;buttheverynextmorning,inoneofthewindowsofourquietsitting—room,oftenenoughlookingdespairinglyatthegreymonotonyofMontagueStreet,hebeganat’PageI,ChapterI,’andsoworkedpatientlyonformanymonthstore—makeasfarashecouldwhathisdrunkenfatherhadmaliciouslydestroyed。

BeyondtheunburntparagraphabouttheattackonMondisfield,hehadnothingexceptafewhastilyscribbledideasinhisnote—book,andofcoursetheveryelaborateandcarefulhistoricalnoteswhichhehadmadeontheCivilWarduringmanyyearsofreadingandresearch—

—forthisperiodhadalwaysbeenafavouritestudywithhim。

But,asanyauthorwillunderstand,theeffortofre—writingwasimmense,andthis,combinedwithalltheothertroubles,triedDerricktotheutmost。However,hetoiledon,andIhavealwaysthoughtthathisresolute,unyieldingconductwithregardtothatbookprovedwhatamanhewas。

ChapterVIII。

\"HowoftFate’ssharpestblowshallleavetheestrong,Withsomere—risenecstacyofsong。\"

F。W。H。Myers。

Astheautumnworeon,weheardnowandthenfromoldMackrillthedoctor。HisreportsoftheMajorwereprettyuniform。Derrickusedtohandthemovertomewhenhehadreadthem;but,bytacitconsent,theMajor’snamewasnevermentioned。

Meantime,besidesre—writing’AtStrife,’hewasaccumulatingmaterialforhisnextbookandworkingtoverygoodpurpose。Notaminuteofhisdaywasidle;hereadmuch,sawvariousphasesoflifehithertounknowntohim,studied,observed,gainedexperience,andcontrived,Ibelieve,tothinkverylittleandveryguardedlyofFreda。

But,onChristmasEve,Inoticedachangeinhim——andthatverynighthespoketome。Forsuchanimpressionablefellow,hehadreallyextraordinarytenacity,and,spiteofthecourseofHerbertSpencerthatIhadputhimthrough,heretainedhisunshakenfaithinmanythingswhichtomewereatthattimethemerestlegends。I

rememberverywelltheargumentsweusedtohaveonthevexedquestionof’Free—will,’andbeingmyselfmoreorlessofafatalist,itannoyedmethatInevercouldintheveryslightestdegreeshakehisconvictionsonthatpoint。Moreover,whenI

plaguedhimtoomuchwithHerbertSpencer,hehadawayofretaliating,andwouldfoistuponmehisfavouriteauthors。Hewasneveraworshipperofanyonewriter,butalwayshadatleastadozenprophetsinwhosepraisehewasenthusiastic。

Well,onthisChristmasEve,wehadbeentoseedearoldRavenscroftandhisgrand—daughter,andwewerewalkingbackthroughthequietprecinctsoftheTemple,whenhesaidabruptly:

\"IhavedecidedtogobacktoBathto—morrow。\"

\"Haveyouhadaworseaccount?\"Iasked,muchstartledatthissuddenannouncement。

\"No,\"hereplied,\"buttheoneIhadaweekagowasfarfromgoodifyouremember,andIhaveafeelingthatIoughttobethere。\"

AtthatmomentweemergedintotheconfusionofFleetStreet;butwhenwehadcrossedtheroadIbegantoremonstratewithhim,andarguedthefollyoftheideaallthewaydownChanceryLane。

However,therewasnoshakinghispurpose;Christmasanditsassociationshadmadehislifeintownnolongerpossibleforhim。

\"Imustatanyratetryitagainandseehowitworks,\"hesaid。

AndallIcoulddowastopersuadehimtoleavethebulkofhispossessionsinLondon,\"incase,\"asheremarked,\"theMajorwouldnothavehim。\"

SothenextdayIwaslefttomyselfagainwithnothingtoremindmeofDerrick’sstaybuthispictureswhichstillhungonthewallofoursitting—room。Imadehimpromisetowriteafull,true,andparticularaccountofhisreturn,abona—fideold—fashionedletter,notthehalf—dozenlinesofthesedegeneratedays;andaboutaweeklaterIreceivedthefollowingbudget:

\"DearSydney,——IgotdowntoBathallright,and,thankstoyour’StudyofSociology,’enduredaslow,andcold,anddull,anddepressingjourneywiththethermometerdowntozero,andspiritstocorrespond,withthecountryamonotonouswhite,andtheskyamonotonousgrey,andacompanionwhosmokedthevilesttobaccoyoucanconceive。Theoldplacelooksasbeautifulasever,andtomygreatsatisfactionthehillsroundaboutaregreen。Snow,saveinpictures,isanabomination。MilsomStreetlookedasleep,andGayStreetdecidedlydreary,buttheinhabitantswererousedbymyknock,andtheoldlandladynearlyshookmyhandoff。Myfatherhasanattackofjaundiceandisinamiserablestate。HewasasleepwhenIgothere,andthegoodoldlandlady,thinkingthefrontsitting—roomwouldbefree,hadinvited’company,’i。e。,twoorthreemarrieddaughtersandtheirbelongings;oneofthechildrenbeatsMagnay’s’Carina’astobeauty——heoughttopainther。Happythought,sendhimandprettyMrs。Esperancedownhereonspec。HecanpaintthechildforthenextAcademy,andmeantimeIcouldenjoyhiscompany。Well,allthesegoodfolksbeingjustset—toatroastbeef,Inaturallywouldn’thearofdisturbingthem,andintheendwasobligedtositdowntooandeatatthathourofthedaythehugestdinneryoueversaw——anythingbutvoraciousappetitesoffendedthehostess。Magnay’sfuturemodel,forallitsangelicface,’atetorepletion,’likethefairAmericaninthestory。ThenIwentintomyfather’sroom,andshortlyafterhewokeupandaskedmetogivehimsomeFriedrichshallwater,makingnocommentatallonmyreturn,butjustbehavingasthoughIhadbeenherealltheautumn,sothatIfeltasifthewholeaffairwereadream。Exceptforthisattackofjaundice,hehasbeenmuchasusual,andwhenyounextcomedownyouwillfindussettledintoouroldgroove。ThequietofitafterLondonisextraordinary。ButIbelieveitsuitsthebook,whichgetsonprettyfast。ThisafternoonIwentupLansdowneandrightonpasttheGrandStandtoProspectStile,whichisattheedgeofahighbitoftableland,andlooksoverasplendidstretchofcountry,withtheBristolChannelandtheWelshhillsinthedistance。WhileIwastherethesunmostconsideratelysetingorgeousarray。Youneversawanythinglikeit。ItwasworththejourneyfromLondontoBath,Icanassureyou。TellMagnay,andmayitlurehimdown;alsonamethemodelaforementioned。

\"HowistheoldQ。C。andhisprettygrandchild?ThatquaintoldroomoftheirsintheTemplesomehowtookmyfancy,andthechildwasdivine。Doyouremembermyshowingyou,inagloomynarrowstreethere,ajollyoldwatchmakerwhositsinhisshop—windowandisforeverbendingoversickclocksandwatches?Well,he’sstillsittingthere,asifhehadnevermovedsincewesawhimthatSaturdaymonthsago。Imeantostudyhimforaportrait;hissallow,clean—shaved,wrinkledfacehasawholestoryinit。I

believeheismarriedtoaXantippewhothrowscoldwateroverhim,bothliterallyandmetaphorically;butheisaphilosopher——I’llstakemyreputationasanobserveronthat——hejustshrugshissturdyoldshoulders,andgoesonmendingclocksandwatches。Ondarkdaysheworksbyagasjet——andthenRembrandtwouldenjoypaintinghim。Ilookathimwhenevermyworldisparticularlyawry,andfindhimhighlybeneficial。Davisonhasforwardedmeto—daytwolettersfromreadersof’Lynwood。’Thefirstisfromaniratefemalewhotakesmetotaskforthedangeroustendencyofthestory,andinsiststhatIhavedrawnimpossiblecircumstancesandimpossiblecharacters。Thesecondisfromanoldclergyman,whowritesapatheticletterofthanks,andtellsmethatitisalmostwordforwordthestoryofasonofhiswhodiedfiveyearsago。

Query:shallIsendtheiratefemaletheoldman’sletter,andsavemyselfthetroubleofwriting?ButonthewholeIthinknot;itwouldbepearlsbeforeswine。Iwillwritetohermyself。Gladtoseeyouwheneveryoucanrundown。

\"Yoursever,\"D。V。\"

(\"Neverstruckmebeforewhatpiousinitialsmineare。\")

TheveryeveningIreceivedthisletterIhappenedtobediningattheProbyn’s。Asluckwouldhaveit,prettyMissFredawasstayinginthehouse,andshefelltomyshare。Ialwayslikedher,thoughoflateIhadfeltratherangrywithherforbeingcarriedawaybythegeneralstormofadmirationandsweptbyitintoanengagementwithLawrenceVaughan。Shewasaverypleasant,naturalsortoftalker,andshealwaystreatedmeasanoldfriend。Butsheseemedtome,thatnight,alittlelesssatisfiedthanusualwithlife。

Perhapsitwasmerelytheeffectoftheblacklacedresswhichshewore,butIfanciedherpalerandthinner,andsomehowsheseemedalleyes。

\"WhereisLawrencenow?\"Iasked,aswewentdowntothedining—

room。

\"HeisstationedatDover,\"shereplied。\"Hewasuphereforafewhoursyesterday;hecametosaygood—byetome,forIamgoingtoBathnextMondaywithmyfather,whohasbeenveryrheumaticlately—

—andyouknowBathiscomingintofashionagain,allthedoctorsrecommendit。\"

\"MajorVaughanisthere,\"Isaid,\"andhasfoundthewatersverygood,Ibelieve;anyday,attwelveo’clock,youmayseehimgettingoutofhischairandgoingintothePumpRoomonDerrick’sarm。I

oftenwonderwhatoutsidersthinkofthem。Itisn’toften,isit,thatoneseesasonabsolutelygivinguphislifetohisinvalidfather?\"

Shelookedalittlestartled。

\"IwishLawrencecouldbemorewithMajorVaughan,\"shesaid;\"forheishisfather’sfavourite。Youseeheissuchagoodtalker,andDerrick——well,heisabsorbedinhisbooks;andthenhehassuchextravagantnotionsaboutwar,hemustbeaveryuncongenialcompaniontothepoorMajor。\"

Idevouredturbotinwrathfulsilence。Fredaglancedatme。

\"Itistrue,isn’tit,thathehasquitegivenuphislifetowriting,andcaresfornothingelse?\"

\"Well,hehasdeliberatelysacrificedhisbestchanceofsuccessbyleavingLondonandburyinghimselfintheprovinces,\"Ireplieddrily;\"andastocaringfornothingbutwriting,whyhenevergetsmorethantwoorthreehoursadayforit。\"AndthenIgaveheraminuteaccountofhisdailyroutine。

Shebegantolooktroubled。

\"Ihavebeenmisled,\"shesaid;\"Ihadgainedquiteawrongimpressionofhim。\"

\"Veryfewpeopleknowanythingatallabouthim,\"Isaidwarmly;

\"youarenotaloneinthat。\"

\"Isupposehisnextnovelisfinishednow?\"saidFreda;\"hetoldmehehadonlyoneortwomorechapterstowritewhenIsawhimafewmonthsagoonhiswayfromBenRhydding。Whatishewritingnow?\"

\"Heiswritingthatnoveloveragain,\"Ireplied。

\"Overagain?Whatfearfulwasteoftime!\"

\"Yes,ithascosthimhundredsofhours’work;itjustshowswhatamanheis,thathehasgonethroughwithitsobravely。\"

\"Buthowdoyoumean?Didn’titdo?\"

Rashly,perhaps,yetIthinkunavoidably,Itoldherthetruth。

\"Itwasthebestthinghehadeverwritten,butunfortunatelyitwasdestroyed,burnttoacinder。Thatwasnotverypleasant,wasit,foramanwhonevermakestwocopiesofhiswork?\"

\"Itwasfrightful!\"saidFreda,hereyesdilating。\"Ineverheardawordaboutit。DoesLawrenceknow?\"

\"No,hedoesnot;andperhapsIoughtnottohavetoldyou,butI

wasannoyedatyoursomisunderstandingDerrick。Praynevermentiontheaffair;hewouldwishitkeptperfectlyquiet。\"

\"Why?\"askedFreda,turninghercleareyesfulluponmine。

\"Because,\"Isaid,loweringmyvoice,\"becausehisfatherburntit。\"

Shealmostgasped。

\"Deliberately?\"

\"Yes,deliberately,\"Ireplied。\"Hisillnesshasaffectedhistemper,andheissometimeshardlyresponsibleforhisactions。\"

\"Oh,Iknewthathewasirritableandhasty,andthatDerrickannoyedhim。Lawrencetoldmethat,longago,\"saidFreda。\"Butthatheshouldhavedonesuchathingasthat!Itishorrible!

PoorDerrick,howsorryIamforhim。IhopeweshallseesomethingofthematBath。DoyouknowhowtheMajoris?\"

\"IhadaletterabouthimfromDerrickonlythisevening,\"I

replied;\"ifyoucaretoseeit,Iwillshowityoulateron。\"

Andby—and—by,inthedrawing—room,IputDerrick’sletterintoherhands,andexplainedtoherhowforafewmonthshehadgivenuphislifeatBath,indespair,butnowhadreturned。

\"Idon’tthinkLawrencecanunderstandthestateofthings,\"shesaidwistfully。\"Andyethehasbeendownthere。\"

Imadenoreply,andFreda,withasigh,turnedaway。

AmonthlaterIwentdowntoBathandfound,asmyfriendforetold,everythinggoingonintheoldgroove,exceptthatDerrickhimselfhadanodd,strainedlookabouthim,asifhewerefightingafoebeyondhisstrength。Freda’sarrivalatBathhadbeenveryhardonhim,itwasalmostmorethanhecouldendure。SirRichard,blindasabat,ofcourse,toanythingbelowthesurface,madeapointofseeingsomethingofLawrence’sbrother。AndonthedayofmyarrivalDerrickandIhadhardlysetoutforawalk,whenweranacrosstheoldman。

SirRichard,thoughrheumaticinthewrists,wasnimbleoffootandaninveteratewalker。HewasgoingwithhisdaughtertoseeoverBeckford’sTower,andinvitedustoaccompanyhim。Derrick,muchagainstthegrain,Ifancy,hadtotalktoFreda,who,inherwinterfursandclose—fittingvelvethat,lookedmorefascinatingthanever,whiletheoldmandescantedtomeonBathwaters,antiquities,etc。,inalong—windedwaythatlastedallupthehill。Wemadeourwayintothecemeteryandmountedthetowerstairs,thinkingofthepastwhenthisdrearyplacehadbeensogorgeouslyfurnished。HereDerrickcontrivedtogetaheadwithSirRichard,andFredalingeredinasortofalcovewithme。

\"Ihavebeensowantingtoseeyou,\"shesaid,inanagitatedvoice。

\"Oh,Mr。Wharncliffe,isittruewhatIhaveheardabouttheMajor?

Doeshedrink?\"

\"Whotoldyou?\"Isaid,alittleembarrassed。

\"Itwasourlandlady,\"saidFreda;\"sheisthedaughteroftheMajor’slandlady。AndyoushouldhearwhatshesaysofDerrick!

Why,hemustbeadownrighthero!AllthetimeIhavebeenhalfdespisinghim\"——shechokedbackasob——\"hehasbeentryingtosavehisfatherfromwhatwascertaindeathtohim——sotheytoldme。Doyouthinkitistrue?\"

\"Iknowitis,\"Irepliedgravely。

\"Andabouthisarm——wasthattrue?\"

Isignedanassent。

Hergreyeyesgrewmoist。

\"Oh,\"shecried,\"howIhavebeendeceivedandhowlittleLawrenceappreciateshim!IthinkhemustknowthatI’vemisjudgedhim,forheseemssooddandshy,andIdon’tthinkhelikestotalktome。\"

Ilookedsearchinglyintohertruthfulgreyeyes,thinkingofpoorDerrick’sunluckylove—story。

\"Youdonotunderstandhim,\"Isaid;\"andperhapsitisbestso。\"

Butthewordsandthelookwererash,forallatoncethecolourfloodedherface。Sheturnedquicklyaway,consciousatlastthatthemidsummerdreamofthoseyachtingdayshadtoDerrickbeennodreamatall,butalife—longreality。

IfeltverysorryforFreda,forshewasnotatallthesortofgirlwhowouldgloryinhavingafellowhopelesslyinlovewithher。I

knewthatthediscoveryshehadmadewouldbenothingbutasorrowtoher,andcouldguesshowshewouldreproachherselfforthatinnocentpastfancy,which,tillnow,hadseemedtohersofaintandfar—away——almostassomethingbelongingtoanotherlife。Allatonceweheardtheothersdescending,andsheturnedtomewithsuchafrightened,appealinglook,thatIcouldnotpossiblyhavehelpedgoingtotherescue。IplungedabruptlyintoadiscourseonBeckford,andtoldherhowheusedtokeepdiamondsinatea—cup,andamusedhimselfbyarrangingthemonapieceofvelvet。SirRichardfledfromthesoundofmyprosyvoice,and,needlesstosay,Derrickfollowedhim。Weletthemgetwellinadvanceandthenfollowed,Fredasilentanddistraite,buteverynowandthenaskingaquestionabouttheMajor。

AsforDerrick,evidentlyhewasonguard。HesawagooddealoftheMerrifieldsandwassedulouslyattentivetotheminmanysmallways;butwithFredahewascuriouslyreserved,andifbychancetheydidtalktogether,hetookgoodcaretobringLawrence’snameintotheconversation。Onthewhole,Ibelieveloyaltywashisstrongestcharacteristic,andwantofloyaltyinotherstriedhimmoreseverelythananythingintheworld。

Asthespringworeon,itbecameevidenttoeveryonethattheMajorcouldnotlastlong。Hisson’swatchfulnessandtheenforcedtemperancewhichthedoctorsinsistedonhadprolongedhislifetoacertainextent,butgraduallyhissufferingsincreasedandhisstrengthdiminished。Atlasthekepthisbedaltogether。

WhatDerrickboreatthistimenoonecaneverknow。When,onebrightsunshinySaturday,Iwentdowntoseehowhewasgettingon,Ifoundhimwornandhaggard,tooevidentlypayingthepenaltyofsleeplessnightsandthanklesscare。IwasalittleshockedtohearthatLawrencehadbeensummoned,butwhenIwastakenintothesickroomIrealisedthattheyhaddonewiselytosendforthefavouriteson。

TheMajorwasevidentlydying。

NevercanIforgetthecrueltyandmalevolencewithwhichhisbloodshoteyesrestedonDerrick,orthepatiencewithwhichthedearoldfellowborehisfather’sscathingsarcasms。ItwaswhileI

wassittingbythebedthatthelandladyenteredwithatelegram,whichsheputintoDerrick’shand。

\"FromLawrence!\"saidthedyingmantriumphantly,\"tosaybywhattrainwemayexpecthim。Well?\"asDerrickstillreadthemessagetohimself,\"can’tyouspeak,youd——didiot?Haveyoulostyourd—

—dtongue?Whatdoeshesay?\"

\"Iamafraidhecannotbeherejustyet,\"saidDerrick,tryingtotonedownthecurtmessage;\"itseemshecannotgetleave。\"

\"Notgetleavetoseehisdyingfather?Whatconfoundednonsense。

Givemethethinghere\";andhesnatchedthetelegramfromDerrickandreaditinaquavering,hoarsevoice:

\"Impossibletogetaway。Amhopelesslytiedhere。Lovetomyfather。Greatlyregrettohearsuchbadnewsofhim。\"

IthinkthatmessagemadetheoldmanrealisetheworthofLawrence’softenexpressedaffectionforhim。Clearlyitwasagreatblowtohim。Hethrewdownthepaperwithoutawordandclosedhiseyes。Forhalfanhourhelaylikethat,andwedidnotdisturbhim。Atlasthelookedup;hisvoicewasfainterandhismannermoregentle。

\"Derrick,\"hesaid,\"IbelieveI’vedoneyouaninjustice;itisyouwhocaredforme,notLawrence,andI’vestruckyournameoutofmywill——haveleftalltohim。Afterall,thoughyouareoneofthoseconfoundednovelists,you’vedonewhatyoucouldforme。Letsomeonefetchasolicitor——I’llalterit——I’llalterit!\"

Iinstantlyhurriedouttofetchalawyer,butitwasSaturdayafternoon,theofficeswereclosed,andsometimepassedbeforeI

hadcaughtmyman。Itoldhimaswehastenedbacksomeofthefactsofthecase,andhebroughthiswritingmaterialsintothesickroomandtookdownfromtheMajor’sownlipsthewordswhichwouldhavetheeffectofdividingtheoldman’spossessionsbetweenhistwosons。Dr。Mackrillwasnowpresent;hestoodononesideofthebed,hisfingersonthedyingman’spulse。OntheothersidestoodDerrick,adegreepalerandgraverthanusual,butrevealinglittleofhisrealfeelings。

\"Worditasbrieflyasyoucan,\"saidthedoctor。

Andthelawyerscribbledawayasthoughforhislife,whiletherestofuswaitedinawretchedhushedstateoftension。Intheroomitselftherewasnosoundsavethescratchingofthepenandthelabouredbreathingoftheoldman;butinthenexthousewecouldhearsomeoneplayingawaltz。Somehowitdidnotseemtomeincongruous,foritwas’Sweethearts,’andthathadbeenthefavouritewaltzofBenRhydding,sothatIalwaysconnecteditwithDerrickandhistrouble,andnowthewordsranginmyears:

\"Oh,loveforayear,aweek,aday,Butalas!forthelovethatlovesalway。\"

IfithadnotbeenfortheMajor’sreturnfromIndia,IfirmlybelievedthatDerrickandFredawouldbythistimehavebeenbetrothed。Derrickhadtakenalinewhichnecessarilydividedthem,haddonewhathesawtobehisduty;yetwhatweretheresults?HehadlostFreda,hehadlosthisbook,hehaddamagedhischanceofsuccessasawriter,hehadbeenstruckoutofhisfather’swill,andhehadsufferedunspeakably。Hadanythingwhateverbeengained?

TheMajorwasdyingunrepentanttoallappearance,ashardandcynicalanoldworldlingasIeversaw。Theonlysparkofgraceheshowedwasthattardyendeavourtomakeafreshwill。Whatgoodhaditallbeen?Whatgood?

Icouldnotanswerthequestionthen,couldonlycryoutinasortofindignation,\"Whatprofitisthereinhisblood?\"Butlookingatitnow,IhaveasortofperceptionthattheverylackofapparentprofitablenesswaspartofDerrick’straining,whileif,asInowinclinetothink,thereisahereafterwherethetrainingbegunhereiscontinued,theoldMajorinthehellhemostrichlydeservedwouldhavetheremembranceofhisson’spatienceandconstancyanddevotiontoserveasaguidinglightintheouterdarkness。

Thelawyernolongerwroteatrailroadspeed;hepushedbackhischair,broughtthewilltothebed,andplacedthepeninthetremblingyellowhandoftheinvalid。

\"Youmustsignyournamehere,\"hesaid,pointingwithhisfinger;

andtheMajorraisedhimselfalittle,andbroughtthepenquaveringlydowntowardsthepaper。WithasortoffascinationI

watchedthefinely—pointedsteelnib;ittrembledforaninstantortwo,thenthependroppedfromtheconvulsedfingers,andwithacryofintolerableanguishtheMajorfellback。

Forsomeminutestherewasapainfulstruggle;presentlywecaughtawordortwobetweenthegroansofthedyingman。

\"Toolate!\"hegasped,\"toolate!\"Andthenadreadfulvisionofhorrorsseemedtorisebeforehim,andwithaterrorthatIcanneverforgetheturnedtohissonandclutchedfastholdofhishands:\"Derrick!\"heshrieked。

Derrickcouldnotspeak,buthebentlowoverthebedasthoughtoscreenthedyingeyesfromthosehorriblevisions,andwithanoddsortofthrillIsawhimembracehisfather。

WhenheraisedhisheadtheterrorhaddiedoutoftheMajor’sface;

allwasover。

ChapterIX。

\"Todutyfirm,toconsciencetrue,Howevertriedandpressed,InGod’sclearsighthighworkwedo,Ifwebutdooutbest。\"

Lawrencecamedowntothefuneral,andItookgoodcarethatheshouldhearallabouthisfather’slasthours,andImadethesolicitorshowhimtheunsignedwill。Hemadehardlyanycommentonittillwethreewerealonetogether。Thenwithasortofkindlypatronageheturnedtohisbrother——Derrick,itmustberemembered,wastheeldertwin——andsaidpityingly,\"Pooroldfellow!itwasratherroughonyouthatthegovernorcouldn’tsignthis;butnevermind,you’llsoon,nodoubt,beearningafortunebyyourbooks;andbesides,whatdoesabachelorwantwithmorethanyou’vealreadyinheritedfromourmother?Whereas,anofficerjustgoingtobemarried,andwiththisconfoundedreputationofherotokeepup,why,Icantellyouitneedseverypennyofit!\"

Derricklookedathisbrothersearchingly。Ihonestlybelievethathedidn’tverymuchcareaboutthemoney,butitcuthimtotheheartthatLawrenceshouldtreathimsoshabbily。Thesoulofgenerosityhimself,hecouldnotunderstandhowanyonecouldframeaspeechsoinfernallymean。

\"Ofcourse,\"Ibrokein,\"ifDerricklikedtogotolawhecouldnodoubtgethisrights,therearethreewitnesseswhocanprovewhatwastheMajor’srealwish。\"

\"Ishallnotgotolaw,\"saidDerrick,withadignityofwhichIhadhardlyimaginedhimcapable。\"Youspokeofyourmarriage,Lawrence;

isittobesoon?\"

\"Thisautumn,Ihope,\"saidLawrence;\"atleast,ifIcanovercomeSirRichard’sridiculousnotionthatagirloughtnottomarrytillshe’stwenty—one。He’samostcrotchetyoldfellow,thatfuturefather—in—lawofmine。\"

WhenLawrencehadfirstcomebackfromthewarIhadthoughthimwonderfullyimproved,butalongcourseofspoilingandflatteryhaddonehimaworldofharm。Helikedverymuchtobelionised,andtoseehimnowposingindrawing—rooms,surroundedbyaworshippingthrongofwomen,wasenoughtosickenanysensiblebeing。

AsforDerrick,thoughhecouldnotbeexpectedtofeelhisbereavementintheordinaryway,yethisfather’sdeathhadbeenagreatshocktohim。ItwasarrangedthataftersettlingvariousmattersinBathheshouldgodowntostaywithhissisterforatime,joiningmeinMontagueStreetlateron。WhilehewasawayinBirmingham,however,anextraordinarychangecameintomyhumdrumlife,andwhenherejoinedmeafewweekslater,I——selfishbrute——

wassooverwhelmedwiththetroublethathadbefallenmethatI

thoughtverylittleindeedofhisaffairs。Hetookthisquiteasamatterofcourse,andwhatIshouldhavedonewithouthimIcan’tconceive。However,thisstoryconcernshimandhasnothingtodowithmyextraordinarydilemma;Imerelymentionitasafactwhichbroughtadditionalcaresintohislife。Allthetimehewasdoingwhatcouldbedonetohelpmehewasalsogoingthroughamostbafflingandmiserabletimeamongthepublishers;for’AtStrife,’

unlikeitspredecessor,wasrejectedbyDavisonandbyfiveotherhouses。Thinkofthis,youcomfortablereaders,asyouliebackinyoureasychairsandleisurelyturnthepagesofthatpopularstory。

Thebookwhichrepresentedyearsofstudyandlonghoursofhardworkwasfirstburnttoacinder。Itwasre—writtenwithwhatinfinitepainsandtoilfewcanunderstand。Itwasthensixtimestiedupandcarriedwithanxietyandhopetoapublisher’soffice,onlytore—appearsixtimesinMontagueStreet,anunwelcomevisitor,bringingwithitdepressionanddisappointment。

Derricksaidlittle,butsufferedmuch。However,nothingdauntedhim。Whenitcamebackfromthesixthpublisherhetookittoaseventh,thenreturnedandwroteawaylikeaTrojanathisthirdbook。TheonethingthatneverfailedhimwasthatcuriousconsciousnessthatheHADtowrite;liketheprophetsofold,the’burden’cametohim,andspeakithemust。

Theseventhpublisherwroteasomewhatdubiousletter:thebook,hethought,hadgreatmerit,butunluckilypeoplewereprejudiced,andhistoricalnovelsrarelymetwithsuccess。However,hewaswillingtotakethestory,andofferedhalfprofits,candidlyadmittingthathehadnogreathopesofalargesale。Derrickinstantlyclosedwiththisoffer,proofscamein,thebookappeared,waswellreceivedlikeitspredecessor,fellintothehandsofoneoftheleadersofSociety,and,totheintensesurpriseofthepublisher,provedtobethenoveloftheyear。Speedilyasecondeditionwascalledfor;then,afterabriefinterval,athirdedition——thistimearationalone—volumeaffair;andthewholelot——6,000Ibelieve——

wentoffonthedayofpublication。Derrickwasamazed;butheenjoyedhissuccessveryheartily,andIthinknoonecouldsaythathehadleaptintofameatabound。

Havingdevoured’AtStrife,’peoplebegantodiscoverthemeritsof’Lynwood’sHeritage;’thelibrarieswerebesiegedforit,andacheapeditionwashastilypublished,andanotherandanother,tillthebook,whichatfirsthadbeensuchadeadfailure,rivalled’AtStrife。’Trulyanauthor’scareerisacuriousthing;andpreciselywhythefirstbookfailed,andthesecondsucceeded,noonecouldexplain。

ItamusedmeverymuchtoseeDerrickturnedintoalion——hewassoessentiallyun—lion—like。Peoplewereforeveraskinghimhowheworked,andIrememberaveryprettygirlsettinguponhimonceatadinner—partywiththeembarrassingrequest:

\"Now,dotellme,Mr。Vaughan,howdoyouwritestories?Iwishyouwouldgivemeagoodreceiptforanovel。\"

Derrickhesitateduneasilyforaminute;finally,withahumoroussmile,hesaid:

\"Well,Ican’texactlytellyou,because,moreorless,novelsgrow;

butifyouwantareceipt,youmightperhapstryafterthisfashion:——Conceiveyourhero,addasprinklingoffriendsandrelatives,flavourwithwhateversceneryorlocalcolouryouplease,carefullyconsiderwhatcircumstancesaremostlikelytodevelopyourmanintothebestheiscapableof,allowthewholetosimmerinyourbrainaslongasyoucan,andthenserve,whilehot,withinkuponwhiteorbluefoolscap,accordingtotaste。\"

Theyoungladyapplaudedthereceipt,butshesighedalittle,andprobablyrelinquishedallhopeofconcoctinganovelherself;onthewhole,itseemedtoinvolveincessanttakingoftrouble。

AboutthistimeIremember,too,anotherlittlescene,whichI

enjoyedamazingly。IlaughnowwhenIthinkofit。Ihappenedtobeatahugeeveningcrush,andrathertomysurprise,cameacrossLawrenceVaughan。Weweretalkingtogether,whenupcameConningtonoftheForeignOffice。\"Isay,Vaughan,\"hesaid,\"LordRemingtonwishestobeintroducedtoyou。\"IwatchedtheoldstatesmanalittlecuriouslyashegreetedLawrence,andlistenedtohisfirstwords:\"Verygladtomakeyouracquaintance,CaptainVaughan;I

understandthattheauthorofthatgrandnovel,’AtStrife,’isabrotherofyours。\"AndpoorLawrencespentamauvaisquartd’heure,inwardlyfuming,Iknow,attheideathathe,theheroofSaspatarasHill,shouldbeconsideredmerelyas’thebrotherofVaughan,thenovelist。’

Fate,orperhapsIshouldsaytheeffectofhisownperniciousactions,didnotdealkindlyjustnowwithLawrence。SomehowFredalearntaboutthatwill,and,beingnobread—and—buttermiss,contentmeeklytoadoreherfianceanddeemhimfaultless,she’upandspake’onthesubject,andIfancypoorLawrencemusthavehadanothermauvaisquartd’heure。Itwasnotthis,however,whichledtoafinalbreachbetweenthem;itwassomethingwhichSirRicharddiscoveredwithregardtoLawrence’slifeatDover。Theengagementwasinstantlybrokenoff,andFreda,Iamsure,feltnothingbutrelief。Shewentabroadforsometime,however,andwedidnotseehertilllongafterLawrencehadbeencomfortablymarriedto1,500

poundsayearandamiddle—agedwidow,whohadlongbeenahero—

worshipper,andwho,Iamtold,neverallowedanyvisitortoleavethehousewithoutmakingsomeallusiontothememorablebattleofSaspatarasHillandherLawrence’sgallantaction。

ForthetwoyearsfollowingaftertheMajor’sdeath,DerrickandI,asImentionedbefore,sharedtheroomsinMontagueStreet。Forme,owingtothetroubleIspokeof,theywereyearsofmaddeningsuspenseandpain;butwhatpleasureIdidmanagetoenjoycameentirelythroughthesuccessofmyfriend’sbooksandfromhiscompanionship。ItwasoddthatfromthecareofhisfatherheshouldimmediatelypassontothecareofonewhohadmadesuchadisastrousmistakeasIhadmade。ButIfeelthelesscompunctionatthethoughtoftheamountofsympathyIcalledforatthattime,becauseInoticethatthegivingofsympathyisanecessityforDerrick,andthatwhenthetroublesofotherfolkdonotimmediatelythrustthemselvesintohislifehecarefullyhuntsthemup。DuringthesetwoyearshewasreadingfortheBar——notthatheeverexpectedtodoverymuchasabarrister,buthethoughtitwelltohavesomethingtofallbackon,anddeclaredthatthedrudgeryofthereadingwoulddohimgood。Hewasalsowritingasusual,andheusedtospendtwoeveningsaweekatWhitechapel,wherehetaughtoneoftheclassesinconnectionwithToynbeeHall,andwherehegainedthatknowledgeofEast—endlifewhichisconspicuousinhisthirdbook——’DickCarew。’This,withaneverincreasingandoftenveryburdensomecorrespondence,broughttohimbyhisbooks,andwithafairshareofdinners,’AtHomes,’andsoforth,madehislifeafullone。InaquietsortofwayIbelievehewashappyduringthistime。Butlateron,when,mytroubleatanend,Ihadmigratedtoahouseofmyown,andhewasleftaloneintheMontagueStreetrooms,hisspiritssomehowflagged。

Fameis,afterall,ahollow,unsatisfyingthingtoamanofhisnature。Heheartilyenjoyedhissuccess,hedelightedinhearingthathisbookshadgivenpleasureorhadbeenofusetoanyone,butnopublicvictorycouldintheleastmakeuptohimforthelosshehadsufferedinhisprivatelife;indeed,Ialmostthinkthereweretimeswhenhistriumphsasanauthorseemedtohimutterlyworthless——daysofdepressionwhenthecongratulationsofhisfriendswerenothingbutamockery。Hehadgainedastrikingsuccess,itistrue,buthehadlostFreda;hewasinthepositionofthestarvingmanwhohasreceivedagiftofbon—bons,butsocravesforbreadthattheyhalfsickenhim。Iusednowandthentowatchhisfacewhen,asoftenhappened,someonesaid:\"Whatanenviablefellowyouare,Vaughan,togetonlikethis!\"or,\"Whatwouldn’tIgivetochangeplaceswithyou!\"Hewouldinvariablysmileandturntheconversation;buttherewasalookinhiseyesatsuchtimesthatIhatedtosee——italwaysmademethinkofMrs。

Browning’spoem,’TheMask’:

\"Behindnoprison—grate,shesaid,Whichslursthesunshinehalfamile,LivecaptivessouncomfortedAssoulsbehindasmile。\"

AstotheMerrifields,therewasnochanceofseeingthem,forSirRichardhadgonetoIndiainsomeofficialcapacity,andnodoubt,aseveryonesaid,theywouldtakegoodcaretomarryFredaoutthere。DerrickhadnotseenhersincethattryingFebruaryatBath,longago。YetIfancyshewasneveroutofhisthoughts。

Andsotheyearsrolledon,andDerrickworkedawaysteadily,givinghisbookstotheworld,acceptingthecomfortsanddiscomfortsofanauthor’slife,laughingattheoutrageousreportsthatwereincirculationabouthim,yetoccasionally,Ithink,inwardlywincingatthem,andlearningfromthenumberofbeggingletterswhichhereceived,andintowhichheusuallycausedsearchinginquirytobemade,thatthereareintheworldavastnumberofundeservingpoor。

OnedayIhappenedtomeetLadyProbynatagarden—party;itwasatthesamehouseonCampdenHillwhereIhadoncemetFreda,andperhapsitwastherecollectionofthiswhichpromptedmetoenquireafterher。

\"Shehasnotbeenwell,\"saidLadyProbyn,\"andtheyaresendingherbacktoEngland;theclimatedoesn’tsuither。Sheistomakeherhomewithusforthepresent,soIamthegainer。Fredahasalwaysbeenmyfavouriteniece。Idon’tknowwhatitisaboutherthatissotaking;sheisnothalfsoprettyastheothers。\"

\"Butsomuchmorecharming,\"Isaid。\"IwondershehasnotmarriedoutinIndia,aseveryoneprophesied。\"

\"AndsodoI,\"saidheraunt。\"However,poorchild,nodoubt,afterhavingbeentwoyearsengagedtothatverydisappointingheroofSaspatarasHill,shewillbeshyofventuringtotrustanyoneagain。\"

\"Doyouthinkthataffaireverwentverydeep?\"Iventuredtoask。

\"Itseemedtomethatshelookedmiserableduringherengagement,andhappywhenitwasbrokenoff。\"

\"Quiteso,\"saidLadyProbyn;\"Inoticedthesamething。Itwasnothingbutamistake。Theywerenotintheleastsuitedtoeachother。By—the—by,IhearthatDerrickVaughanismarried。\"

\"Derrick?\"Iexclaimed;\"oh,no,thatisamistake。Itismerelyoneofthehundredandonereportsthatareforeverbeingsetafloatabouthim。\"

\"ButIsawitinapaper,Iassureyou,\"saidLadyProbyn,bynomeansconvinced。

\"Ah,thatmayverywellbe;theywerehardupforaparagraph,nodoubt,andinsertedit。But,asforDerrick,why,howshouldhemarry?HehasbeenmadlyinlovewithMissMerrifieldeversinceourcruiseintheAurora。\"

LadyProbynmadeaninarticulateexclamation。

\"Poorfellow!\"shesaid,afteraminute’sthought;\"thatexplainsmuchtome。\"

Shedidnotexplainherratherambiguousremark,andbeforelongourtete—a—tetewasinterrupted。

Nowthatmyfriendwasafull—fledgedbarrister,heandIsharedchambers,andonemorningaboutamonthafterthisgardenparty,DerrickcameinwithafaceofsuchradianthappinessthatI

couldn’timaginewhatgoodluckhadbefallenhim。

\"Whatdoyouthink?\"heexclaimed;\"here’saninvitationforacruiseintheAuroraattheendofAugust——tobenearlythesamepartythatwehadyearsago,\"andhethrewdowntheletterformetoread。

Ofcoursetherewasspecialmentionof\"myniece,MissMerrifield,whohasjustreturnedfromIndia,andisorderedplentyofsea—air。\"

Icouldhavetoldthatwithoutreadingtheletter,foritwaswrittenquiteclearlyinDerrick’sface。Helookedtenyearsyounger,andifanyofhisadoringreaderscouldhaveseentheprankshewasuptothatmorninginourstaidandrespectablechambers,Iamafraidtheywouldnolongerhavespokenofhim\"with’batedbreathandwhisperinghumbleness。\"

Asithappened,I,too,wasabletoleavehomeforafortnightattheendofAugust;andsoourpartyintheAurorareallywasthesame,exceptthatwewereallseveralyearsolder,andletushopewiser,thanonthepreviousoccasion。Consideringallthathadintervened,IwassurprisedthatDerrickwasnotmorealtered;asforFreda,shewasdecidedlypalerthanwhenwefirstmether,butbeforelongsea—airandhappinesswroughtawonderfultransformationinher。

Inspiteofthepessimistswhoareforeverwritingbooks,evenwritingnovels(moreshametothem),toprovethatthereisnosuchthingashappinessintheworld,wemanagedeveryoneofusheartilytoenjoyourcruise。Itseemedindeedtruethat:

\"Greenleavesandblossoms,andsunnywarmweather,Andsingingandlovingallcomebacktogether。\"

Something,atanyrate,oftheglamourofthosepastdayscamebacktousall,Ifancy,aswelaughedanddozedandidledandtalkedbeneaththesnowywingsoftheAurora,andIcannotsayIwasintheleastsurprisedwhen,onroamingthroughthepleasantgardenwalksinthatuniquelittleislandofTresco,IcameoncemoreuponDerrickandFreda,with,ifyouwillbelieveit,anotherhandfulofwhiteheathergiventothembythatdiscerninggardener!Fredaoncemoreremindedmeofthegirlinthe’BiglowPapers,’andDerrick’sfacewasfullofsuchblissasoneseldomsees。

Hehadalwayshadtowaitforhisgoodthings,butintheendtheycametohim。However,youmaydependuponit,hedidn’tsaymuch。

Thatwasneverhisway。Heonlygrippedmyhand,and,withhiseyesallaglowwithhappiness,exclaimed\"Congratulateme,oldfellow!\"