第3章

Thisgreatlyannoyedhim,andrecollectingthathewasnotaquatic,hestoppedandshoutedacrossthewaves’tumultousroar:

\"Takemynameoffthepassengerlist。\"

Backtohimoverthewaters,hollowandheartless,likelaughterinatomb,rangthevoiceoftheSkipper:

\"’Tain’ton!\"

Andthere,inthefocusofamillionpairsofconvergenteyes,theAmbitiousPersonsathimdownbetweenthesunandmoonandmurmuredsadlytohisownsoul:

\"Marooned,bythunder!\"

CongressandthePeopleSUCCESSIVECongresseshavinggreatlyimpoverishedthePeople,theywerediscouragedandweptcopiously。

\"Whydoyouweep?\"inquiredanAngelwhohadpercheduponafencenearby。

\"Theyhavetakenallwehave,\"repliedthePeople—\"excepting,\"

theyadded,notingthesuggestivevisitant—\"exceptingourhopeinheaven。ThankGod,theycannotdepriveusofthat!\"

ButatlastcametheCongressof1889。

TheJusticeandHisAccuserANeminentJusticeoftheSupremeCourtofPatagascarwasaccusedofhavingobtainedhisappointmentbyfraud。

\"Youwander,\"hesaidtotheAccuser;\"itisoflittleimportancehowIobtainedmypower;itisonlyimportanthowIhaveusedit。\"

\"Iconfess,\"saidtheAccuser,\"thatincomparisonwiththerascallywayinwhichyouhaveconductedyourselfontheBench,therascallywayinwhichyougottheredoesseemratheratrifle。\"

TheHighwaymanandtheTravellerAHIGHWAYMANconfrontedaTraveller,andcoveringhimwithafirearm,shouted:\"Yourmoneyoryourlife!\"

\"Mygoodfriend,\"saidtheTraveller,\"accordingtothetermsofyourdemandmymoneywillsavemylife,mylifemymoney;youimplyyouwilltakeoneortheother,butnotboth。Ifthatiswhatyoumean,pleasebegoodenoughtotakemylife。\"

\"ThatisnotwhatImean,\"saidtheHighwayman;\"youcannotsaveyourmoneybygivingupyourlife。\"

\"Thentakeit,anyhow,\"theTravellersaid。\"Ifitwillnotsavemymoney,itisgoodfornothing。\"

TheHighwaymanwassopleasedwiththeTraveller’sphilosophyandwitthathetookhimintopartnership,andthissplendidcombinationoftalentstartedanewspaper。

ThePolicemanandtheCitizenAPOLICEMAN,findingamanthathadfalleninafit,said,\"Thismanisdrunk,\"andbeganbeatinghimontheheadwithhisclub。A

passingCitizensaid:

\"Whydoyoumurderamanthatisalreadyharmless?\"

ThereuponthePolicemanleftthemaninafitandattackedtheCitizen,who,afterreceivingseveralseverecontusions,ranaway。

\"Alas,\"saidthePoliceman,\"whydidInotattackthesoberonebeforeexhaustingmyselfupontheother?\"

Thenceforwardhepursuedthatplan,andbyzealanddiligencerosetobeChief,andsobrietyisunknownintheregionsubjecttohissway。

TheWriterandtheTrampsANAmbitiousWriter,distinguishedfortheconditionofhislinen,wastravellingthehighroadtofame,whenhemetaTramp。

\"Whatisthematterwithyourshirt?\"inquiredtheTramp。

\"Itbearsthemarksofthatsuperbunconcernwhichisthecharacteristicofgenius,\"repliedtheAmbitiousWriter,contemptuouslypassinghimby。

Restingbythewaysidealittlelater,theTrampcarveduponthesmoothbarkofabirch—treethewords,\"JohnGump,ChampionGenius。\"

TwoPoliticiansTwoPoliticianswereexchangingideasregardingtherewardsforpublicservice。

\"TherewardwhichImostdesire,\"saidtheFirstPolitician,\"isthegratitudeofmyfellow—citizens。\"

\"Thatwouldbeverygratifying,nodoubt,\"saidtheSecondPolitician,\"but,alas!inordertoobtainitonehastoretirefrompolitics。\"

Foraninstanttheygazeduponeachotherwithinexpressibletenderness;thentheFirstPoliticianmurmured,\"God’swillbedone!Sincewecannothopeforreward,letusbecontentwithwhatwehave。\"

Andliftingtheirrighthandsfromthepublictreasurytheysworetobecontent。

TheFugitiveOfficeATRAVELLERarrivingatthecapitolofthenationsawavastplainoutsidethewall,filledwithstrugglingandshoutingmen。WhilehelookeduponthealarmingspectacleanOfficebrokeawayfromtheThrongandtookshelterinatombclosetowherehestood,thecrowdbeingtoointentuponhammeringoneanothertoobservethatthecauseoftheircontentionhaddeparted。

\"Poorbruisedandbleedingcreature,\"saidthecompassionateTraveller,\"whatmisfortunecausedyoutobesofarawayfromthesourceofpower?\"

\"I’soughttheman,’\"saidtheOffice。

TheTyrantFrogASNAKEswallowingafroghead—firstwasapproachedbyaNaturalistwithastick。

\"Ah,mydeliverer,\"saidtheSnakeaswellashecould,\"youhavearrivedjustintime;thisreptile,yousee,ispitchingintomewithoutprovocation。\"

\"Sir,\"repliedtheNaturalist,\"Ineedasnakeskinformycollection,butifyouhadnotexplainedIshouldnothaveinterruptedyou,forIthoughtyouwereatdinner。\"

TheEligibleSon—in—LawATRULYPiousPersonwhoconductedasavingsbankandlentmoneytohissistersandhiscousinsandhisauntsofbothsexes,wasapproachedbyaTatterdemalion,whoappliedforaloanofonehundredthousanddollars。

\"Whatsecurityhaveyoutooffer?\"askedtheTrulyPiousPerson。

\"Thebestintheworld,\"theapplicantreplied,confidentially;\"I

amabouttobecomeyourson—in—law。\"

\"Thatwouldindeedbegilt—edged,\"saidthebanker,gravely;\"butwhatclaimhaveyoutothehandofmydaughter?\"

\"Onethatcannotbelightlydenied,\"saidtheTatterdemalion。\"I

amabouttobecomeworthonehundredthousanddollars。\"

Unabletodetectaweakpointinthisschemeofmutualadvantage,thefinanciergavethepromoterindisguiseanorderforthemoney,andwroteanotetohiswifedirectinghertocountoutthegirl。

TheStatesmanandtheHorseASTATESMANwhohadsavedhiscountrywasreturningfromWashingtononfoot,whenhemetaRaceHorsegoingatfullspeed,andstoppedit。

\"Turnaboutandtraveltheotherway,\"saidtheStatesman,\"andI

willkeepyoucompanyasfarasmyhome。Theadvantagesoftravellingtogetherareobvious。\"

\"Icannotdothat,\"saidtheRaceHorse;\"IamfollowingmymastertoWashington。Ididnotgofastenoughtosuithim,andhehasgoneonahead。\"

\"Whoisyourmaster?\"inquiredtheStatesman。

\"HeistheStatesmanwhosavedhiscountry,\"answeredtheRaceHorse。

\"Thereappearstobesomemistake,\"theothersaid。\"Whydidhewishtotravelsofast?\"

\"Soastobethereintimetogetthecountrythathesaved。\"

\"Iguesshegotit,\"saidtheother,andlimpedalong,sighing。

AnAErophobeACELEBRATEDDivinehavingaffirmedthefallibilityoftheBible,wasaskedwhy,then,hepreachedthereligionfoundeduponit。

\"Ifitisfallible,\"hereplied,\"thereisthegreaterreasonthatIexplainit,lestitmislead。\"

\"ThenamItoinfer,\"saidhisQuestioner,\"thatYOUarenotfallible?\"

\"YouaretoinferthatIamnotpneumophagous。\"

TheThriftofStrengthAWEAKMangoingdown—hillmetaStrongMangoingup,andsaid:

\"Itakethisdirectionbecauseitrequireslessexertion,notfromchoice。Iprayyou,sir,assistmetoregainthesummit。\"

\"Gladly,\"saidtheStrongMan,hisfaceilluminatedwiththegloryofhisthought。\"Ihavealwaysconsideredmystrengthasacredgiftintrustformyfellow—men。Iwilltakeyoualongwithme。

Justgetbehindmeandpush。\"

TheGoodGovernment\"WHATahappylandyouare!\"saidaRepublicanFormofGovernmenttoaSovereignState。\"BegoodenoughtoliestillwhileIwalkuponyou,singingthepraisesofuniversalsuffrageanddescantingupontheblessingsofcivilandreligiousliberty。Inthemeantimeyoucanrelieveyourfeelingsbycursingtheone—manpowerandtheeffetemonarchiesofEurope。\"

\"Mypublicservantshavebeenfoolsandroguesfromthedateofyouraccessiontopower,\"repliedtheState;\"mylegislativebodies,bothStateandmunicipal,arebandsofthieves;mytaxesareinsupportable;mycourtsarecorrupt;mycitiesareadisgracetocivilisation;mycorporationshavetheirhandsatthethroatsofeveryprivateinterest—allmyaffairsareindisorderandcriminalconfusion。\"

\"Thatisallverytrue,\"saidtheRepublicanFormofGovernment,puttingonitshobnailshoes;\"butconsiderhowIthrillyoueveryFourthofJuly。\"

TheLifeSaverANAncientMaiden,standingontheedgeofawharfnearaModernSwain,wasoverheardrehearsingthewords:

\"Noblepreserver!Thelifethatyouhavesavedisyours!\"

Havingrepeatedthemseveraltimeswithvariousintonations,shesprangintothewater,whereshewassufferedtodrown。

\"Iamanoblepreserver,\"saidtheModernSwain,thoughtfullymovingaway;\"thelifethatIhavesavedisindeedmine。\"

TheManandtheBirdAMANwithaShotgunsaidtoaBird:

\"Itisallnonsense,youknow,aboutshootingbeingacruelsport。

Iputmyskillagainstyourcunning—thatisallthereisofit。Itisafairgame。\"

\"True,\"saidtheBird,\"butIdon’twishtoplay。\"

\"Whynot?\"inquiredtheManwithaShotgun。

\"Thegame,\"theBirdreplied,\"isfairasyousay;thechancesareabouteven;butconsiderthestake。Iaminitforyou,butwhatisthereinitforme?\"

Notbeingpreparedwithananswertothequestion,theManwithaShotgunsagaciouslyremovedthepropounder。

FromtheMinutesANOratorafflictedwithatrophyoftheorganofcommon—senseroseinhisplaceinthehallsoflegislationandpointedwithpridetohisUnblottedEscutcheon。Seeingwhatitsupposedtobethefingerofscornpointedatit,theUnblottedEscutcheonturnedblackwithrage。SeeingtheUnblottedEscutcheonturningblackwithwhathesupposedtobetherecordofhisownmisdeedsshowingthroughthewhitewash,theOratorfelldeadofmortification。SeeingtheOratorfalldeadofwhattheysupposedtobeatrophyoftheorganofcommon—sense,hiscolleaguesresolvedthatwhenevertheyshouldadjournbecausetheyweretired,itshouldbeoutofrespecttothememoryofhimwhohadsofrequentlymadethemso。

ThreeofaKindALAWYERinwhomaninstinctofjusticehadsurvivedthewreckofhisignoranceoflawwasretainedforthedefenceofaburglarwhomthepolicehadtakenafteradesperatestrugglewithsomeonenotincustody。InconsultationwithhisclienttheLawyerasked,\"Haveyouaccomplices?\"

\"Yes,sir,\"repliedtheBurglar。\"Ihavetwo,butneitherhasbeentaken。Ihiredonetodefendmeagainstcapture,youtodefendmeagainstconviction。\"

ThisanswerdeeplyimpressedtheLawyer,andhavingascertainedthattheBurglarhadaccumulatednomoneyinhisprofessionhethrewupthecase。

TheFabulistandtheAnimalsAWISEandillustriousWriterofFableswasvisitingatravellingmenageriewithaviewtocollectingliterarymaterials。AshewaspassingneartheElephant,thatanimalsaid:

\"Howsadthatsojustlyfamousasatiristshouldmarhisworkbyridiculeofpeoplewithlongnoses—whoarethesaltoftheearth!\"

TheKangaroosaid:

\"Idosoenjoythatgreatman’scensureoftheridiculous—

particularlyhisattacksontheProboscidae;but,alas!hehasnoreverencefortheMarsupials,andlaughsatourwayofcarryingouryounginapouch。\"

TheCamelsaid:

\"IfhewouldonlyrespectthesacredHump,hewouldbefaultless。

Asitis,Icannotpermithisfablestobereadinthepresenceofmyfamily。\"

TheOstrich,seeinghisapproach,thrustherheadinthestraw,saying:

\"IfIdonotconcealmyself,hemayberemindedtowritesomethingdisagreeableaboutmylackofacrestormyappetiteforscrap—

iron;andalthoughheisinexpressiblybrilliantwhenhedevoteshimselftocensureoffollyandgreed,hisdulnessismatchlesswhenhetranscendsthelimitsoflegitimatecomment。\"

\"That,’saidtheBuzzardtohismate,\"isthedistinguishedauthorofthatgloriousfable,’TheOstrichandtheKegofRawNails。’I

regrettoadd,thathewrote,also,’TheBuzzard’sFeast,’inwhichacarriondietiscontumeliouslydisparaged。Acarriondietisthefoundationofsoundhealth。Ifnothingelsebutcorpseswereeaten,deathwouldbeunknown。\"

Seeinganattendantapproaching,thewiseandillustriousWriterofFablespassedoutofthetentandmingledwiththecrowd。Itwasafterwarddiscoveredthathehadcreptinunderthecanvaswithoutpaying。

ARevivalistRevivedAREVIVALISTwhohadfallendeadinthepulpitfromtooviolentreligiousexercisewasastonishedtowakeupinHades。HepromptlysentfortheAdversaryofSoulsanddemandedhisfreedom,explainingthathewasentirelyorthodox,andhadalwaysledapiousandholylife。

\"Thatisallverytrue,\"saidtheAdversary,\"butyoutaughtbyexamplethataverbshouldnotagreewithitssubjectinpersonandnumber,whereastheGoodBooksaysthatcontentionisworsethanadinnerofherbs。Youalsotriedtoreleasetheobjectivecasefromitsthraldomtothepreposition,anditiswrittenthatservantsshouldobeytheirmasters。Youstayrighthere。\"

TheDebatersAHURLED—BACKAllegation,which,afterabriefrest,hadagainstartedforthuponitsmissionofmischief,metanInk—standinmid—air。

\"HowdidtheHonourableMemberwhomyourepresentknowthatIwascomingagain?\"inquiredtheHurled—backAllegation。

\"Hedidnot,\"theInkstandreplied;\"heisn’tatallforehandedatrepartee。\"

\"Why,then,doyoucome,thingsbeingevenwhenhehadhurledmeback?\"

\"Hewantedtobealittleahead。\"

TwoofthePiousACHRISTIANandaHeatheninHisBlindnessweredisputing,whentheChristian,withthatcharmingconsiderationwhichservestodistinguishthetrulypiousfromthewolvesthatperish,exclaimed:

\"IfIcouldhavemyway,I’dblowupallyourgodswithdynamite。\"

\"AndifIcouldhavemine,\"retortedtheHeatheninHisBlindness,bitterlymalevolentbutoleaginuouslysuave,\"I’dfanallyoursoutoftheuniverse。\"

TheDesperateObjectADISHONESTGainwasdrivinginitsluxuriouscarriagethroughitsprivatepark,whenitsawsomethingwhichfranticallyandrepeatedlyranagainstastonewall,endeavouringtobuttoutitsbrains。

\"Hold!Hold!thoudesperateObject,\"criedtheDishonestGain;

\"thesebeautifulprivategroundsarenoplaceforsuchworkasthine。\"

\"True,\"saidtheObject,pausing;\"Ihaveotherandbettergroundsforit。\"

\"Thenthouartahappyman,\"saidtheDishonestGain,\"andthybleedingheadisbutmeredissembling。Whoartthou,greatactor?\"

\"Iamknown,\"saidtheObject,dashingitselfagainatthewall,\"astheConsciousnessofDutyWellPerformed。\"

TheAppropriateMemorialAHIGHPublicFunctionaryhavingdied,thecitizensofhistownheldameetingtoconsiderhowtohonourhismemory,andanOtherHighPublicFunctionaryroseandaddressedthemeeting。

\"Mr。ChairmanandGintlemen,\"saidtheOther,\"itsamestome,andI’mhopin’yezwullapprovethesuggistion,thatanapproprietwaytohonourthemimoryofthedecaisedwouldbetoerectanemolumentsootablyinscribedwidhisvartues。\"

ThesoulofthegreatmanlookeddownfromHeavenandwept。

ANeedlessLabourAFTERwaitingmanyawearydaytorevengehimselfuponaLionforsomeunconsideredmanifestationofcontempt,aSkunkfinallysawhimcoming,andpostinghimselfinthepathaheadutteredtheinaudiblediscordofhisrace。ObservingthattheLiongavenoattentiontothematter,theSkunk,keepingcarefullyoutofreach,said:

\"Sir,IbegleavetopointoutthatIhavesetonfootanimplacableodour。\"

\"Mydearfellow,\"theLionreplied,\"youhavetakenaneedlesstrouble;IalreadyknewthatyouwereaSkunk。\"

AFlourishingIndustry\"AREtheindustriesofthiscountryinaflourishingcondition?\"

askedaTravellerfromaForeignLandofthefirstmanhemetinAmerica。

\"Splendid!\"saidtheMan。\"IhavemoreordersthanIcanfill。\"

\"Whatisyourbusiness?\"theTravellerfromaForeignLandinquired。

TheManreplied,\"Imakeboxing—glovesforthetonguesofpugilists。\"

TheSelf—MadeMonkeyAMANofhumblebirthandnobreading,whoheldahighpoliticaloffice,waspassingthroughaforest,whenhemetaMonkey。

\"Itakeityouareoneofmyconstituents,\"theMansaid。

\"No,\"repliedtheMonkey;\"butIwillsupportyouifyoucanurgeavalidclaimtomyapproval。\"

\"Iamaself—mademan,\"saidtheother,proudly。

\"Thatisnothing,\"theMonkeysaid。Andgoingtoabiggerpine,herosebyhisownunaidedexertionstothetopbranch,wherehesat,allbedaubedwiththepitchwhichthatvegetableexudes。\"Now,\"headded,\"Iamaself—madeMonkey。\"

ThePatriotandtheBankerAPATRIOTwhohadtakenofficepoorandretiredrichwasintroducedatabankwherehedesiredtoopenanaccount。

\"Withpleasure,\"saidtheHonestBanker;\"weshallbegladtodobusinesswithyou;butfirstyoumustmakeyourselfanhonestmanbyrestoringwhatyoustolefromtheGovernment。\"

\"Goodheavens!\"criedthePatriot;\"ifIdothat,Ishallhavenothingtodepositwithyou。\"

\"Idon’tseethat,\"theHonestBankerreplied。\"WearenotthewholeAmericanpeople。\"

\"Ah,Iunderstand,\"saidthePatriot,musing。\"Atwhatsumdoyouestimatethisbank’sproportionofthecountry’slossbyme?\"

\"Aboutadollar,\"answeredtheHonestBanker。

Andwithaproudconsciousnessofservinghiscountrywiselyandwellhechargedthatsumtotheaccount。

TheMourningBrothersOBSERVINGthathewasabouttodie,anOldMancalledhistwoSonstohisbedsideandexpoundedthesituation。

\"Mychildren,\"saidhe,\"youhavenotshownmemanymarksofrespectduringmylife,butyouwillattestyoursorrowformydeath。Tohimwhothelongerwearsaweeduponhishatinmemoryofmeshallgomyentirefortune。Ihavemadeawilltothateffect。\"

SowhentheOldManwasdeadeachoftheyouthsputaweeduponhishatandworeituntilhewashimselfold,when,seeingthatneitherwouldgivein,theyagreedthattheyoungershouldleaveoffhisweedsandtheeldergivehimhalfoftheestate。ButwhentheelderappliedforthepropertyhefoundthattherehadbeenanExecutor!

Thuswerehypocrisyandobstinacyfitlypunished。

TheDisinterestedArbiterTWODogswhohadbeenfightingforabone,withoutadvantagetoeither,referredtheirdisputetoaSheep。TheSheeppatientlyheardtheirstatements,thenflungtheboneintoapond。

\"Whydidyoudothat?\"saidtheDogs。

\"Because,\"repliedtheSheep,\"Iamavegetarian。\"

TheThiefandtheHonestManATHIEFwhohadbroughtasuitagainsthisaccomplicestorecoverhisshareoftheplundertakenfromanHonestMan,demandedtheHonestMan’sattendanceatthetrialtotestifytohisloss。ButtheHonestManexplainedthatashewasmerelytheagentofacompanyofotherhonestmenitwasnoneofhisaffair;andwhentheofficerscametoservehimwithasubpoenahehidhimselfbehindhisbackandwiledawaythedragginghoursofretirementandinactionbypickinghisownpockets。

TheDutifulSonAMILLIONAIREwhohadgonetoanalmshousetovisithisfathermetaNeighbourthere,whowasgreatlysurprised。

\"What!\"saidtheNeighbour,\"youdosometimesvisityourfather?\"

\"Ifoursituationswerereversed,\"saidtheMillionaire,\"Iamsurehewouldvisitme。Theoldmanhasalwaysbeenratherproudofme。

Besides,\"headded,softly,\"Ihadtohavehissignature;Iaminsuringhislife。\"

AESOPUSEMENDATUS

TheCatandtheYouthACATfellinlovewithahandsomeYoungMan,andentreatedVenustochangeherintoawoman。

\"Ishouldthink,\"saidVenus,\"youmightmakesotriflingachangewithoutbotheringme。However,beawoman。\"

Afterward,wishingtoseeifthechangewerecomplete,Venuscausedamousetoapproach,whereuponthewomanshriekedandmadesuchashowofherselfthattheYoungManwouldnotmarryher。

TheFarmerandHisSonsAFARMERbeingabouttodie,andknowingthatduringhisillnesshisSonshadpermittedthevineyardtobecomeovergrownwithweedswhiletheyimprovedtheshininghourbygamblingwiththedoctor,saidtothem:

\"Myboys,thereisagreattreasureburiedinthevineyard。Youdiginthegrounduntilyoufindit。\"

SotheSonsdugupalltheweeds,andallthevinestoo,andevenneglectedtoburytheoldman。

JupiterandtheBabyShowJUPITERheldababyshow,opentoallanimals,andaMonkeyenteredherhideouscubforaprize,butJupiteronlylaughedather。

\"Itisallverywell,\"saidtheMonkey,\"tolaughatmyoffspring,butyougointoanygalleryofantiquesculptureandlookatthestatuesandbustsofthefellowsthatyoubegotyourself。\"

\"’Sh!don’texposeme,\"saidJupiter,andawardedherthefirstprize。

TheManandtheDogAMANwhohadbeenbittenbyaDogwastoldthatthewoundwouldhealifhewoulddipapieceofbreadinthebloodandgiveittotheDog。Hedidso。

\"No,\"saidtheDog;\"ifIweretoacceptthat,itmightbethoughtthatinbitingyouIwasactuatedbyimpropermotives。\"

\"Andbywhatmotiveswereyouactuated?\"askedtheMan。

\"Idesired,\"repliedtheDog,\"merelytoharmonisemyselfwiththeDivineSchemeofThings。I’machildofNature。\"

TheCatandtheBirdsHEARINGthattheBirdsinanaviarywereill,aCatwenttothemandsaidthathewasaphysician,andwouldcurethemiftheywouldlethimin。

\"Towhatschoolofmedicinedoyoubelong?\"askedtheBirds。

\"IamaMiaulopathist,\"saidtheCat。

\"DidyoueverpractiseGohomoeopathy?\"theBirdsinquired,winkingfaintly。

TheCattookthehintandhisleave。

MercuryandtheWoodchopperAWOODCHOPPER,whohaddroppedhisaxeintoadeeppool,besoughtMercurytorecoveritforhim。Thatthoughtlessdeityimmediatelyplungedintothepool,whichbecamesosalivatedthatthetreesaboutitsmarginallcamelooseanddroppedout。

TheFoxandtheGrapesAFOX,seeingsomesourgrapeshangingwithinaninchofhisnose,andbeingunwillingtoadmitthattherewasanythinghewouldnoteat,solemnlydeclaredthattheywereoutofhisreach。

ThePenitentThiefABOYwhohadbeentaughtbyhisMothertostealgrewtobeamanandwasaprofessionalpublicofficial。Onedayhewastakenintheactandcondemnedtodie。WhilegoingtotheplaceofexecutionhepassedhisMotherandsaidtoher:

\"Beholdyourwork!Ifyouhadnottaughtmetosteal,Ishouldnothavecometothis。\"

\"Indeed!\"saidtheMother。\"Andwho,pray,taughtyoutobedetected?\"

TheArcherandtheEagleANEaglemortallywoundedbyanArcherwasgreatlycomfortedtoobservethatthearrowwasfeatheredwithoneofhisownquills。

\"Ishouldhavefeltbad,indeed,\"hesaid,\"tothinkthatanyothereaglehadahandinthis。\"

TruthandtheTravellerAMANtravellinginadesertmetaWoman。

\"Whoartthou?\"askedtheMan,\"andwhydostthoudwellinthisdreadfulplace?\"

\"Myname,\"repliedtheWoman,\"isTruth;andIliveinthedesertinordertobenearmyworshipperswhentheyaredrivenfromamongtheirfellows。Theyallcome,soonerorlater。\"

\"Well,\"saidtheMan,lookingabout,\"thecountrydoesn’tseemtobeverythicklysettledhere。\"

TheWolfandtheLambALAMB,pursuedbyaWolf,fledintothetemple。

\"Thepriestwillcatchyouandsacrificeyou,\"saidtheWolf,\"ifyouremainthere。\"

\"Itisjustaswelltobesacrificedbythepriestastobeeatenbyyou,\"saidtheLamb。

\"Myfriend,\"saidtheWolf,\"itpainsmetoseeyouconsideringsogreataquestionfromapurelyselfishpointofview。Itisnotjustaswellforme。\"

TheLionandtheBoarALIONandaBoar,whowerefightingforwateratapool,sawsomevultureshoveringsignificantlyabovethem。\"Letusmakeupourquarrel,\"saidtheBoar,\"orthesefellowswillgetoneofus,sure。\"

\"Ishouldnotsomuchmindthat,\"repliedtheLion,\"iftheywouldgettherightone。However,Iamwillingtostopfighting,andthenperhapsIcangrabavulture。Ilikechickenbetterthanpork,anyhow。\"

TheGrasshopperandtheAntONEdayinwinterahungryGrasshopperappliedtoanAntforsomeofthefoodwhichtheyhadstored。

\"Why,\"saidtheAnt,\"didyounotstoreupsomefoodforyourself,insteadofsingingallthetime?\"

\"SoIdid,\"saidtheGrasshopper;\"soIdid;butyoufellowsbrokeinandcarrieditallaway。\"

TheFisherandtheFishedAFISHERMANwhohadcaughtaverysmallFishwasputtingitinhisbasketwhenitsaid:

\"Iprayyouputmebackintothestream,forIcanbeofnousetoyou;thegodsdonoteatfish。\"

\"ButIamnogod,\"saidtheFisherman。

\"True,\"saidtheFish,\"butassoonasJupiterhasheardofyourexploit,hewillelevateyoutothedeitage。Youaretheonlymanthatevercaughtasmallfish。\"

TheFarmerandtheFoxAFARMERwhohadadeadlyandimplacablehatredagainstacertainFox,caughthimandtiedsometowtohistail;thencarryinghimtothecentreofhisowngrain—field,setthetowonfireandlettheanimalgo。

\"Alas!\"saidtheFarmer,seeingtheresult;\"ifthatgrainhadnotbeenheavilyinsured,ImighthavehadtodissemblemyhatredoftheFox。\"

DameFortuneandtheTravellerAWEARYTravellerwhohadlaindownandfallenasleeponthebrinkofadeepwellwasdiscoveredbyDameFortune。

\"Ifthisfool,\"shesaid,\"shouldhaveanuneasydreamandrollintothewellmenwouldsaythatIdidit。Itispainfultometobeunjustlyaccused,andIshallseethatIamnot。\"

Sosayingsherolledthemanintothewell。

TheVictorandtheVictimTWOGameCocks,havingfoughtabattle,thedefeatedoneskulkedawayandhid,butthevictormountedawallandcrowedlustily。

Thisattractedtheattentionofahawk,whosaid:

\"Behold!howpridegoethbeforeafall。\"

Soheswoopeddownupontheboastingbirdandwasabouttodestroyhim,whenthevanquishedCockcameoutofhishiding—place,andbetweenthetwotheHawkwascalamitouslydefeated。

TheWolfandtheShepherdsAWOLFpassingaShepherd’shutlookedinandsawtheshepherdsdining。

\"Comein,\"saidoneofthem,ironically,\"andpartakeofyourfavouritedish,ahaunchofmutton。\"

\"Thankyou,\"saidtheWolf,movingaway,\"butyoumustexcuseme;I

havejusthadasaddleofshepherd。\"

TheGooseandtheSwanACERTAINrichmanrearedaGooseandaSwan,theoneforhistable,theotherbecauseshewasreputedagoodsinger。OnenightwhentheCookwenttokilltheGoosehegotholdoftheSwaninstead。ThereupontheSwan,toinducehimtospareherlife,begantosing;butshesavedhimnothingbutthetroubleofkillingher,forshediedofthesong。

TheLion,theCock,andtheAssALIONwasabouttoattackabrayingAss,whenaCocknearbycrowedshrilly,andtheLionranaway。\"Whatfrightenedhim?\"theAssasked。

\"Lionshaveasuperstitiousterrorofmyvoice,\"answeredtheCock,proudly。

\"Well,well,well,\"saidtheAss,shakinghishead;\"Ishouldthinkthatanyanimalthatisafraidofyourvoiceanddoesn’tmindminemusthaveanuncommonkindofear。\"

TheSnakeandtheSwallowASWALLOWwhohadbuilthernestinacourtofjusticerearedafinefamilyofyoungbirds。OnedayaSnakecameoutofachinkinthewallandwasabouttoeatthem。TheJustJudgeatonceissuedaninjunction,andmakinganorderfortheirremovaltohisownhouse,atethemhimself。

TheWolvesandtheDogs\"WHYshouldtherebestrifebetweenus?\"saidtheWolvestotheSheep。\"Itisallowingtothosequarrelsomedogs。Dismissthem,andweshallhavepeace。\"

\"Youseemtothink,\"repliedtheSheep,\"thatitisaneasythingtodismissdogs。Haveyoualwaysfounditso?\"

TheHenandtheVipersAHENwhohadpatientlyhatchedoutabroodofvipers,wasaccostedbyaSwallow,whosaid:\"Whatafoolyouaretogivelifetocreatureswhowillrewardyoubydestroyingyou。\"

\"Iamalittlebitonthedestroymyself,\"saidtheHen,tranquillyswallowingoneofthelittlereptiles;\"anditisnotanactoffollytoprovideoneselfwiththedelicaciesoftheseason。\"

ASeasonableJokeASPENDTHRIFT,seeingasingleswallow,pawnedhiscloak,thinkingthatSummerwasathand。Itwas。

TheLionandtheThornALIONroamingthroughtheforest,gotathorninhisfoot,and,meetingaShepherd,askedhimtoremoveit。TheShepherddidso,andtheLion,havingjustsurfeitedhimselfonanothershepherd,wentawaywithoutharminghim。SometimeafterwardtheShepherdwascondemnedonafalseaccusationtobecasttothelionsintheamphitheatre。Whentheywereabouttodevourhim,oneofthemsaid:

\"Thisisthemanwhoremovedthethornfrommyfoot。\"

Hearingthis,theothershonourablyabstained,andtheclaimantatetheShepherdallhimself。

TheFawnandtheBuckAFAWNsaidtoitsfather:\"Youarelarger,stronger,andmoreactivethanadog,andyouhavesharphorns。Whydoyourunawaywhenyouhearonebarking?\"

\"Because,mychild,\"repliedtheBuck,\"mytemperissouncertainthatifIpermitoneofthosenoisycreaturestocomeintomypresenceIamlikelytoforgetmyselfanddohimaninjury。\"

TheKite,thePigeons,andtheHawkSOMEPigeonsexposedtotheattacksofaKiteaskedaHawktodefendthem。Heconsented,andbeingadmittedintothecotewaitedfortheKite,whomhefelluponanddevoured。Whenhewassosurfeitedthathecouldscarcelymove,thegratefulPigeonsscratchedouthiseyes。

TheWolfandtheBabeAFAMISHINGWolf,passingthedoorofacottageintheforest,heardaMothersaytoherbabe:

\"Bequiet,orIwillthrowyououtofthewindow,andthewolveswillgetyou。\"

Sohewaitedalldaybelowthewindow,growingmorehungryallthetime。ButatnighttheOldMan,havingreturnedfromthevillageclub,threwoutbothMotherandChild。

TheWolfandtheOstrichAWOLF,whoindevouringamanhadchokedhimselfwithabunchofkeys,askedanostrichtoputherheaddownhisthroatandpullthemout,whichshedid。

\"Isuppose,\"saidtheWolf,\"youexpectpaymentforthatservice。\"

\"Akindact,\"repliedtheOstrich,\"isitsownreward;Ihaveeatenthekeys。\"

TheHerdsmanandtheLionAHERDSMANwhohadlostabullockentreatedthegodstobringhimthethief,andvowedhewouldsacrificeagoattothem。JustthenaLion,hisjawsdrippingwithbullock’sblood,approachedtheHerdsman。

\"Ithankyou,gooddeities,\"saidtheHerdsman,continuinghisprayer,\"forshowingmethethief。Andnowifyouwilltakehimaway,Iwillstandanothergoat。\"

TheManandtheViperAMANfindingafrozenViperputitintohisbosom。

\"Thecoldnessofthehumanheart,\"hesaid,withagrin,\"willkeepthecreatureinhispresentconditionuntilIcanreachhomeandrevivehimonthecoals。\"

ButthepleasuresofhopesofiredhisheartthattheViperthawed,andslidingtothegroundthankedtheMancivillyforhishospitalityandglidedaway。

TheManandtheEagleANEaglewasoncecapturedbyaMan,whoclippedhiswingsandputhiminthepoultryyard,alongwiththechickens。TheEaglewasmuchdepressedinspiritsbythechange。

\"Whyshouldyounotratherrejoice?\"saidtheMan。\"Youwereonlyanordinaryfellowasaneagle;butasanoldroosteryouareafowlofincomparabledistinction。

TheWar—horseandtheMillerHAVINGheardthattheStatewasabouttobeinvadedbyahostilearmy,aWar—horsebelongingtoaColoneloftheMilitiaofferedhisservicestoapassingMiller。

\"No,\"saidthepatrioticMiller,\"Iwillemploynoonewhodesertshispositioninthehourofdanger。Itissweettodieforone’scountry。\"

Somethinginthesentimentsoundedfamiliar,and,lookingattheMillermorecloselytheWar—horserecognisedhismasterindisguise。

TheDogandtheReflectionADOGpassingoverastreamonaplanksawhisreflectioninthewater。

\"Youuglybrute!\"hecried;\"howdareyoulookatmeinthatinsolentway。\"

Hemadeagrabinthewater,and,gettingholdofwhathesupposedwastheotherdog’slip,liftedoutafinepieceofmeatwhichabutcher’sboyhaddroppedintothestream。

TheManandtheFish—hornATRUTHFULMan,findingamusicalinstrumentintheroad,askedthenameofit,andwastoldthatitwasafish—horn。Thenexttimehewentfishinghesethisnetsandblewthefish—hornalldaytocharmthefishintothem;butatnightfalltherewerenotonlynofishinhisnets,butnonealongthatpartofthecoast。Meetingafriendwhileonhiswayhomehewasaskedwhatluckhehadhad。

\"Well,\"saidtheTruthfulMan,\"theweatherisnotrightforfishing,butit’sared—letterdayformusic。\"

TheHareandtheTortoiseAHAREhavingridiculedtheslowmovementsofaTortoise,waschallengedbythelattertorunarace,aFoxtogotothegoalandbethejudge。Theygotoffwelltogether,thehareatthetopofherspeed,theTortoise,whohadnootherintentionthanmakinghisantagonistexertherself,goingveryleisurely。AftersaunteringalongforsometimehediscoveredtheHarebythewayside,apparentlyasleep,andseeingachancetowinpushedonasfastashecould,arrivingatthegoalhoursafterward,sufferingfromextremefatigueandclaimingthevictory。

\"Notso,\"saidtheFox;\"theHarewasherelongago,andwentbacktocheeryouonyourway。\"

HerculesandtheCarterACARTERwasdrivingawaggonloadedwithamerchant’sgoods,whenthewheelsstuckinarut。ThereuponhebegantopraytoHercules,withoutotherexertion。

\"Indolentfellow!\"saidHercules;\"youaskmetohelpyou,butwillnothelpyourself。\"

SotheCarterhelpedhimselftosomanyofthemostvaluablegoodsthatthehorseseasilyranawaywiththeremainder。

TheLionandtheBullALIONwishingtolureaBulltoaplacewhereitwouldbesafetoattackhim,said:\"Myfriend,Ihavekilledafinesheep;willyoucomewithmeandpartakeofthemutton?\"

\"Withpleasure,\"saidtheBull,\"assoonasyouhaverefreshedyourselfalittleforthejourney。Prayhavesomegrass。\"

TheManandhisGoose\"SEEthesevaluablegoldeneggs,\"saidaManthatownedaGoose。

\"SurelyaGoosewhichcanlaysucheggsasthosemusthaveagoldmineinsideher。\"

SohekilledtheGooseandcutheropen,butfoundthatshewasjustlikeanyothergoose。Moreover,onexaminingtheeggsthatshehadlaidhefoundtheywerejustlikeanyothereggs。

TheWolfandtheFeedingGoatAWOLFsawaGoatfeedingatthesummitofarock,wherehecouldnotgetather。

\"Whydoyoustayupthereinthatsterileplaceandgohungry?\"

saidtheWolf。\"DownherewhereIamthebroken—bottlevinecomethupasaflower,thecelluloidcollarblossomsastherose,andthetin—cantreebringsforthafteritskind。\"

\"Thatistrue,nodoubt,\"saidtheGoat,\"buthowaboutthecircus—

postercrop?Ihearthatitfailedthisyeardownthere。\"

TheWolf,perceivingthathewasbeingchaffed,wentawayandresumedhisdutiesatthedoorsofthepoor。

JupiterandtheBirdsJUPITERcommandedallthebirdstoappearbeforehim,sothathemightchoosethemostbeautifultobetheirking。Theuglyjackdaw,collectingallthefinefeatherswhichhadfallenfromtheotherbirds,attachedthemtohisownbodyandappearedattheexamination,lookingverygay。Theotherbirds,recognisingtheirownborrowedplumage,indignantlyprotested,andbegantostriphim。

\"Hold!\"saidJupiter;\"thisself—madebirdhasmoresensethananyofyou。Heisyourking。\"

TheLionandtheMouseALIONwhohadcaughtaMousewasabouttokillhim,whentheMousesaid:

\"Ifyouwillsparemylife,Iwilldoasmuchforyousomeday。\"

TheLion,good—naturedlylethimgo。IthappenedshortlyafterwardsthattheLionwascaughtbysomehuntersandboundwithcords。TheMouse,passingthatway,andseeingthathisbenefactorwashelpless,gnawedoffhistail。

TheOldManandHisSonsANOldMan,afflictedwithafamilyofcontentiousSons,broughtinabundleofsticksandaskedtheyoungmentobreakit。Afterrepeatedeffortstheyconfessedthatitcouldnotbedone。

\"Behold,\"saidtheOldMan,\"theadvantageofunity;aslongasthesesticksareinalliancetheyareinvincible,butobservehowfeebletheyareindividually。\"

Pullingasinglestickfromthebundle,hebrokeiteasilyupontheheadoftheeldestSon,andthisherepeateduntilallhadbeenserved。

TheCrabandHisSonALOGICALCrabsaidtohisSon,\"Whydoyounotwalkstraightforward?Yoursidelonggaitissingularlyungraceful。\"

\"Whydon’tyouwalkstraightforwardyourself,\"saidtheSon。

\"Erringyouth,\"repliedtheLogicalCrab,\"youareintroducingnewandirrelevantmatter。\"

TheNorthWindandtheSunTHESunandtheNorthWinddisputedwhichwasthemorepowerful,andagreedthatheshouldbedeclaredvictorwhocouldthesoonerstripatravellerofhisclothes。Sotheywaiteduntilatravellercameby。Butthetravellerhadbeenindiscreetenoughtostayovernightatasummerhotel,andhadnoclothes。

TheMountainandtheMouseAMOUNTAINwasinlabour,andthepeopleofsevencitieshadassembledtowatchitsmovementsandhearitsgroans。WhiletheywaitedinbreathlessexpectancyoutcameaMouse。

\"Oh,whatababy!\"theycriedinderision。

\"Imaybeababy,\"saidtheMouse,gravely,ashepassedoutwardthroughtheforestofshins,\"butIknowtolerablywellhowtodiagnoseavolcano。\"

TheBellamyandtheMembersTHEMembersofabodyofSocialistsroseininsurrectionagainsttheirBellamy。

\"Why,\"saidthey,\"shouldwebeallthetimetuckingyououtwithfoodwhenyoudonothingtotuckusout?\"

So,resolvingtotakenofurtheraction,theywentaway,andlookingbackwardhadthesatisfactiontoseetheBellamycompelledtosellhisownbook。

OLDSAWSWITHNEWTEETH

CERTAINANCIENTFABLESAPPLIEDTO

THELIFEOFOURTIMES

TheWolfandtheCraneARICHManwantedtotellacertainlie,buttheliewasofsuchmonstroussizethatitstuckinhisthroat;soheemployedanEditortowriteitoutandpublishitinhispaperasaneditorial。

ButwhentheEditorpresentedhisbill,theRichMansaid:

\"Becontent—isitnothingthatIrefrainedfromadvisingyouaboutinvestments?\"

TheLionandtheMouseAJUDGEwasawakenedbythenoiseofalawyerprosecutingaThief。

RisinginwrathhewasabouttosentencetheThieftolifeimprisonmentwhenthelattersaid:

\"Ibegthatyouwillsetmefree,andIwillsomedayrequiteyourkindness。\"

Pleasedandflatteredtobebribed,althoughbynothingbutanemptypromise,theJudgelethimgo。Soonafterwardhefoundthatitwasmorethananemptypromise,for,havingbecomeaThief,hewashimselfsetfreebytheother,whohadbecomeaJudge。

TheHaresandtheFrogsTHEMembersofaLegislature,beingtoldthattheywerethemeanestthievesintheworld,resolvedtocommitsuicide。Sotheyboughtshrouds,andlayingtheminaconvenientplacepreparedtocuttheirthroats。WhiletheyweregrindingtheirrazorssomeTrampspassingthatwaystoletheshrouds。

\"Letuslive,myfriends,\"saidoneoftheLegislatorstotheothers;\"theworldisbetterthanwethought。Itcontainsmeanerthievesthanwe。\"

TheBellyandtheMembersSOMEWorkingmenemployedinashoefactorywentonastrike,saying:\"Whyshouldwecontinuetoworktofeedandclotheouremployerwhenwehavenonetoomuchtoeatandwearourselves?\"

TheManufacturer,seeingthathecouldgetnolabourforalongtimeandfindingthetimesprettyhardanyhow,burneddownhisshoefactoryfortheinsurance,andwhenthestrikerswantedtoresumeworktherewasnoworktoresume。Sotheyboycottedatanner。

ThePipingFishermanANEditorwhowasalwaysvauntingthepurity,enterprise,andfearlessnessofhispaperwaspainedtoobservethathegotnosubscribers。Onedayitoccurredtohimtostopsayingthathispaperwaspureandenterprisingandfearless,andmakeitso。\"Ifthesearenotgoodqualities,\"hereasoned,\"itisfollytoclaimthem。\"

Underthenewpolicyhegotsomanysubscribersthathisrivalsendeavouredtodiscoverthesecretofhisprosperity,buthekeptit,andwhenhedieditdiedwithhim。

TheAntsandtheGrasshopperSOMEMembersofaLegislatureweremakingschedulesoftheirwealthattheendofthesession,whenanHonestMinercamealongandaskedthemtodividewithhim。ThemembersoftheLegislatureinquired:

\"Whydidyounotacquirepropertyofyourown?\"

\"Because,\"repliedtheHonestMiner,\"IwassobusydiggingoutgoldthatIhadnoleisuretolayupsomethingworthwhile。\"

ThentheMembersoftheLegislaturederidedhim,saying:

\"Ifyouwasteyourtimeinprofitlessamusement,youcannot,ofcourse,expecttosharetherewardsofindustry。\"

TheDogandHisReflectionASTATEOfficialcarryingofftheDomeoftheCapitolmettheGhostofhispredecessor,whohadcomeoutofhispoliticalgravetowarnhimthatGodsawhim。Astheplaceofmeetingwaslonelyandthetimemidnight,theStateOfficialsetdowntheDomeoftheCapitol,andcommandedthesupposedtravellertothrowuphishands。TheGhostrepliedthathehadnoteatenthem,andwhilehewasexplainingthesituationanotherStateOfficialsilentlyaddedthedometohisowncollection。

TheLion,theBear,andtheFoxTwoThieveshavingstolenaPianoandbeingunabletodivideitfairlywithoutaremainderwenttolawaboutitandcontinuedthecontestaslongaseitheronecouldstealadollartobribethejudge。WhentheycouldgivenomoreanHonestMancamealongandbyasinglesmallpaymentobtainedajudgmentandtookthePianohome,wherehisdaughterusedittodevelopherbicepsmuscles,becomingafamouspugiliste。

TheAssandtheLion’sSkinAMEMBERoftheStateMilitiastoodatastreetcorner,scowlingstormily,andthepeoplepassingthatwaywentalongwayaroundhim,thinkingofthehorrorsofwar。Butpresently,inordertoterrifythemstillmore,hestrodetowardthem,when,hisswordentanglinghislegs,hefelluponthefieldofglory,andthepeoplepassedoverhimsingingtheirsweetestsongs。

TheAssandtheGrasshoppersASTATESMANheardsomeLabourerssingingattheirwork,andwishingtobehappytoo,askedthemwhatmadethemso。

\"Honesty,\"repliedtheLabourers。

SotheStatesmanresolvedthathetoowouldbehonest,andtheresultwasthathediedofwant。

TheWolfandtheLionANIndianwhohadbeendrivenoutofafertilevalleybyaWhiteSettler,said:

\"Nowthatyouhaverobbedmeofmyland,thereisnothingformetodobutissueinvitationstoawar—dance。\"

\"Idon’tsomuchmindyourdancing,\"saidtheWhiteSettler,puttingafreshcartridgeintohisrifle,\"butifyouattempttomakemedanceyouwillbecomeagoodIndianlamentedbyallwhodidn’tknowyou。HowdidYOUgetthisland,anyhow?\"

TheIndian’sclaimwascompromisedforaplughatandatinhorn。

TheHareandtheTortoiseOFtwoWritersonewasbrilliantbutindolent;theotherthoughdull,industrious。Theysetoutforthegoaloffamewithequalopportunities。Beforetheydiedthebrilliantonewasdetectedinseventylanguagesastheauthorofbuttwoorthreebooksoffictionandpoetry,whiletheotherwashonouredintheBureauofStatisticsofhisnativelandasthecompilerofsixteenvolumesoftabulatedinformationrelatingtothedomestichog。

TheMilkmaidandHerBucketASENATORfelltomusingasfollows:\"WiththemoneywhichIshallgetformyvoteinfavourofthebilltosubsidisecat—ranches,I

canbuyakitofburglar’stoolsandopenabank。Theprofitofthatenterprisewillenablemetoobtainalong,low,blackschooner,raiseadeath’s—headflagandengageincommerceonthehighseas。FrommygainsinthatbusinessIcanpayforthePresidency,whichat$50,000ayearwillgivemeinfouryears—\"

butittookhimsolongtomakethecalculationthatthebilltosubsidisecat—ranchespassedwithouthisvote,andhewascompelledtoreturntohisconstituentsanhonestman,tormentedwithacleanconscience。

KingLogandKingStorkTHEPeoplebeingdissatisfiedwithaDemocraticLegislature,whichstolenomorethantheyhad,electedaRepublicanone,whichnotonlystolealltheyhadbutexactedapromissorynoteforthebalancedue,securedbyamortgageupontheirhopeofdeath。

TheWolfWhoWouldBeaLionAFOOLISHFellowwhohadbeentoldthathewasagreatmanbelievedit,andgothimselfappointedaCommissionertotheInterasylumExpositionofPreservedIdiots。AtthefirstmeetingoftheBoardhewasmistakenforoneoftheexhibits,andthejanitorwasorderedtoremovehimtohisappropriateglasscase。

\"Alas!\"heexclaimedashewascarriedout,\"whywasInotcontenttoremainwherethecutofmyforeheadissocommonastobeknownasthePacificSlope?\"

TheMonkeyandtheNutsACERTAINCitydesiringtopurchaseasiteforapublicDeformatoryprocuredanappropriationfromtheGovernmentofthecountry。

Deemingthisinsufficientforpurchaseofthesiteandpaymentofreasonablecommissionstothemselves,themeninchargeofthematteraskedforalargersum,whichwasreadilygiven。Believingthatthefountaincouldnotbedippeddry,theyappliedforstillmoreandmoreyet。Weariedatlastbytheirimportunities,theGovernmentsaiditwouldbedamnedifitgaveanything。Soitgavenothingandwasdamnedalltheharder。

TheBoysandtheFrogsSOMEeditorsofnewspaperswereengagedindiffusinggeneralintelligenceandelevatingthemoralsentimentofthepublic。Theyhadbeendoingthisforsometime,whenanEminentStatesmanstuckhisheadoutofthepoolofpolitics,and,speakingforthemembersofhisprofession,said:

\"Myfriends,Ibegyouwilldesist。Iknowyoumakeagreatdealofmoneybythiskindofthing,butconsiderthedamageyouinflictuponthebusinessofothers!\"