SHESTOOPSTOCONQUER；
OR，THEMISTAKESOFANIGHT。
ACOMEDY。
ToSAMUELJOHNSON，LL。D。
DearSir，——Byinscribingthisslightperformancetoyou，Idonotmeansomuchtocomplimentyouasmyself。Itmaydomesomehonourtoinformthepublic，thatIhavelivedmanyyearsinintimacywithyou。
Itmayservetheinterestsofmankindalsotoinformthem，thatthegreatestwitmaybefoundinacharacter，withoutimpairingthemostunaffectedpiety。
Ihave，particularly，reasontothankyouforyourpartialitytothisperformance。Theundertakingacomedynotmerelysentimentalwasverydangerous；andMr。Colman，whosawthispieceinitsvariousstages，alwaysthoughtitso。However，Iventuredtotrustittothepublic；
and，thoughitwasnecessarilydelayedtilllateintheseason，Ihaveeveryreasontobegrateful。
Iam，dearSir，yourmostsincerefriendandadmirer，OLIVERGOLDSMITH。
PROLOGUE，BYDAVIDGARRICK，ESQ。
EnterMR。WOODWARD，dressedinblack，andholdingahandkerchieftohiseyes。
Excuseme，sirs，Ipray——Ican’tyetspeak——
I’mcryingnow——andhavebeenalltheweek。
\"’Tisnotalonethismourningsuit，\"goodmasters：
\"I’vethatwithin\"——forwhichtherearenoplasters!
Pray，wouldyouknowthereasonwhyI’mcrying？
TheComicMuse，longsick，isnowa—dying!
Andifshegoes，mytearswillneverstop；
Forasaplayer，Ican’tsqueezeoutonedrop：
Iamundone，that’sall——shalllosemybread——
I’drather，butthat’snothing——losemyhead。
Whenthesweetmaidislaiduponthebier，ShuterandIshallbechiefmournershere。
Toheramawkishdrabofspuriousbreed，Whodealsinsentimentals，willsucceed!
PoorNedandIaredeadtoallintents；
WecanassoonspeakGreekassentiments!
Bothnervousgrown，tokeepourspiritsup。
Wenowandthentakedownaheartycup。
Whatshallwedo？IfComedyforsakeus，They’llturnusout，andnooneelsewilltakeus。
Butwhycan’tIbemoral？——Letmetry——
Myheartthuspressing——fixedmyfaceandeye——
Withasententiouslook，thatnothingmeans，（Facesareblocksinsentimentalscenes）
ThusIbegin：\"Allisnotgoldthatglitters，\"Pleasureseemssweet，butprovesaglassofbitters。
\"WhenIgnoranceenters，Follyisathand：
\"Learningisbetterfarthanhouseandland。
\"Letnotyourvirtuetrip；whotripsmaystumble，\"Andvirtueisnotvirtue，ifshetumble。\"
Igiveitup——moralswon’tdoforme；
Tomakeyoulaugh，Imustplaytragedy。
Onehoperemains——hearingthemaidwasill，ADoctorcomesthisnighttoshowhisskill。
Tocheerherheart，andgiveyourmusclesmotion，He，inFiveDraughtsprepar’d，presentsapotion：
Akindofmagiccharm——forbeassur’d，Ifyouwillswallowit，themaidiscur’d：
ButdesperatetheDoctor，andhercaseis，Ifyourejectthedose，andmakewryfaces!
Thistruthheboasts，willboastitwhilehelives，Nopoisonousdrugsaremixedinwhathegives。
Shouldhesucceed，you’llgivehimhisdegree；
Ifnot，withinhewillreceivenofee!
TheCollegeYOU，musthispretensionsback，PronouncehimRegular，ordubhimQuack。
DRAMATISPERSONAE。
MEN。
SIRCHARLESMARLOWMr。Gardner。
YOUNGMARLOW（HisSon）Mr。LeeLewes。
HARDCASTLEMr。Shuter。
HASTINGSMr。Dubellamy。
TONYLUMPKINMr。Quick。
DIGGORYMr。Saunders。
WOMEN。
MRS。HARDCASTLEMrs。Green。
MISSHARDCASTLEMrs。Bulkley。
MISSNEVILLEMrs。Kniveton。
MAIDMissWilliams。
LANDLORD，SERVANTS，Etc。Etc。
ACTTHEFIRST。
SCENE——AChamberinanold—fashionedHouse。
EnterMRS。HARDCASTLEandMR。HARDCASTLE。
MRS。HARDCASTLE。Ivow，Mr。Hardcastle，you’reveryparticular。Isthereacreatureinthewholecountrybutourselves，thatdoesnottakeatriptotownnowandthen，torubofftherustalittle？There’sthetwoMissHoggs，andourneighbourMrs。Grigsby，gototakeamonth’spolishingeverywinter。
HARDCASTLE。Ay，andbringbackvanityandaffectationtolastthemthewholeyear。IwonderwhyLondoncannotkeepitsownfoolsathome!Inmytime，thefolliesofthetowncreptslowlyamongus，butnowtheytravelfasterthanastage—coach。Itsfopperiescomedownnotonlyasinsidepassengers，butintheverybasket。
MRS。HARDCASTLE。Ay，yourtimeswerefinetimesindeed；youhavebeentellingusofthemformanyalongyear。Hereweliveinanoldrumblingmansion，thatlooksforalltheworldlikeaninn，butthatweneverseecompany。OurbestvisitorsareoldMrs。Oddfish，thecurate’swife，andlittleCripplegate，thelamedancing—master；andallourentertainmentyouroldstoriesofPrinceEugeneandtheDukeofMarlborough。Ihatesuchold—fashionedtrumpery。
HARDCASTLE。AndIloveit。Iloveeverythingthat’sold：oldfriends，oldtimes，oldmanners，oldbooks，oldwine；andIbelieve，Dorothy（takingherhand），you’llownIhavebeenprettyfondofanoldwife。
MRS。HARDCASTLE。Lord，Mr。Hardcastle，you’reforeveratyourDorothysandyouroldwifes。YoumaybeaDarby，butI’llbenoJoan，Ipromiseyou。I’mnotsooldasyou’dmakeme，bymorethanonegoodyear。Addtwentytotwenty，andmakemoneyofthat。
HARDCASTLE。Letmesee；twentyaddedtotwentymakesjustfiftyandseven。
MRS。HARDCASTLE。It’sfalse，Mr。Hardcastle；IwasbuttwentywhenI
wasbroughttobedofTony，thatIhadbyMr。Lumpkin，myfirsthusband；andhe’snotcometoyearsofdiscretionyet。
HARDCASTLE。Noreverwill，Idareanswerforhim。Ay，youhavetaughthimfinely。
MRS。HARDCASTLE。Nomatter。TonyLumpkinhasagoodfortune。Mysonisnottolivebyhislearning。Idon’tthinkaboywantsmuchlearningtospendfifteenhundredayear。
HARDCASTLE。Learning，quotha!amerecompositionoftricksandmischief。
MRS。HARDCASTLE。Humour，mydear；nothingbuthumour。Come，Mr。
Hardcastle，youmustallowtheboyalittlehumour。
HARDCASTLE。I’dsoonerallowhimahorse—pond。Ifburningthefootmen’sshoes，frighteningthemaids，andworryingthekittensbehumour，hehasit。Itwasbutyesterdayhefastenedmywigtothebackofmychair，andwhenIwenttomakeabow，IpoptmybaldheadinMrs。
Frizzle’sface。
MRS。HARDCASTLE。AndamItoblame？Thepoorboywasalwaystoosicklytodoanygood。Aschoolwouldbehisdeath。Whenhecomestobealittlestronger，whoknowswhatayearortwo’sLatinmaydoforhim？
HARDCASTLE。Latinforhim!Acatandfiddle。No，no；thealehouseandthestablearetheonlyschoolshe’llevergoto。
MRS。HARDCASTLE。Well，wemustnotsnubthepoorboynow，forI
believeweshan’thavehimlongamongus。Anybodythatlooksinhisfacemayseehe’sconsumptive。
HARDCASTLE。Ay，ifgrowingtoofatbeoneofthesymptoms。
MRS。HARDCASTLE。Hecoughssometimes。
HARDCASTLE。Yes，whenhisliquorgoesthewrongway。
MRS。HARDCASTLE。I’mactuallyafraidofhislungs。
HARDCASTLE。AndtrulysoamI；forhesometimeswhoopslikeaspeakingtrumpet——（Tonyhallooingbehindthescenes）——O，therehegoes——averyconsumptivefigure，truly。
EnterTONY，crossingthestage。
MRS。HARDCASTLE。Tony，whereareyougoing，mycharmer？Won’tyougivepapaandIalittleofyourcompany，lovee？
TONY。I’minhaste，mother；Icannotstay。
MRS。HARDCASTLE。Youshan’tventureoutthisrawevening，mydear；youlookmostshockingly。
TONY。Ican’tstay，Itellyou。TheThreePigeonsexpectsmedowneverymoment。There’ssomefungoingforward。
HARDCASTLE。Ay；thealehouse，theoldplace：Ithoughtso。
MRS。HARDCASTLE。Alow，paltrysetoffellows。
TONY。Notsolow，neither。There’sDickMugginstheexciseman，JackSlangthehorsedoctor，LittleAminadabthatgrindsthemusicbox，andTomTwistthatspinsthepewterplatter。
MRS。HARDCASTLE。Pray，mydear，disappointthemforonenightatleast。
TONY。Asfordisappointingthem，Ishouldnotsomuchmind；butI
can’tabidetodisappointmyself。
MRS。HARDCASTLE。（detaininghim。）Youshan’tgo。
TONY。Iwill，Itellyou。
MRS。HARDCASTLE。Isayyoushan’t。
TONY。We’llseewhichisstrongest，youorI。[Exit，haulingherout。]
HARDCASTLE。（solus。）Ay，theregoesapairthatonlyspoileachother。Butisnotthewholeageinacombinationtodrivesenseanddiscretionoutofdoors？There’smyprettydarlingKate!thefashionsofthetimeshavealmostinfectedhertoo。Bylivingayearortwointown，sheisasfondofgauzeandFrenchfripperyasthebestofthem。
EnterMISSHARDCASTLE。
HARDCASTLE。Blessingsonmyprettyinnocence!drestoutasusual，myKate。Goodness!Whataquantityofsuperfluoussilkhastthougotaboutthee，girl!Icouldneverteachthefoolsofthisage，thattheindigentworldcouldbeclothedoutofthetrimmingsofthevain。
MISSHARDCASTLE。Youknowouragreement，sir。Youallowmethemorningtoreceiveandpayvisits，andtodressinmyownmanner；andintheeveningIputonmyhousewife’sdresstopleaseyou。
HARDCASTLE。Well，remember，Iinsistonthetermsofouragreement；
and，bythebye，IbelieveIshallhaveoccasiontotryyourobediencethisveryevening。
MISSHARDCASTLE。Iprotest，sir，Idon’tcomprehendyourmeaning。
HARDCASTLE。Thentobeplainwithyou，Kate，IexpecttheyounggentlemanIhavechosentobeyourhusbandfromtownthisveryday。I
havehisfather’sletter，inwhichheinformsmehissonissetout，andthatheintendstofollowhimselfshortlyafter。
MISSHARDCASTLE。Indeed!IwishIhadknownsomethingofthisbefore。Blessme，howshallIbehave？It’sathousandtooneI
shan’tlikehim；ourmeetingwillbesoformal，andsolikeathingofbusiness，thatIshallfindnoroomforfriendshiporesteem。
HARDCASTLE。Dependuponit，child，I’llnevercontrolyourchoice；butMr。Marlow，whomIhavepitchedupon，isthesonofmyoldfriend，SirCharlesMarlow，ofwhomyouhaveheardmetalksooften。Theyounggentlemanhasbeenbredascholar，andisdesignedforanemploymentintheserviceofhiscountry。Iamtoldhe’samanofanexcellentunderstanding。
MISSHARDCASTLE。Ishe？
HARDCASTLE。Verygenerous。
MISSHARDCASTLE。IbelieveIshalllikehim。
HARDCASTLE。Youngandbrave。
MISSHARDCASTLE。I’msureIshalllikehim。
HARDCASTLE。Andveryhandsome。
MISSHARDCASTLE。Mydearpapa，saynomore，（kissinghishand），he’smine；I’llhavehim。
HARDCASTLE。And，tocrownall，Kate，he’soneofthemostbashfulandreservedyoungfellowsinalltheworld。
MISSHARDCASTLE。Eh!youhavefrozenmetodeathagain。ThatwordRESERVEDhasundonealltherestofhisaccomplishments。Areservedlover，itissaid，alwaysmakesasuspicioushusband。
HARDCASTLE。Onthecontrary，modestyseldomresidesinabreastthatisnotenrichedwithnoblervirtues。Itwastheveryfeatureinhischaracterthatfirststruckme。
MISSHARDCASTLE。Hemusthavemorestrikingfeaturestocatchme，I
promiseyou。However，ifhebesoyoung，sohandsome，andsoeverythingasyoumention，Ibelievehe’lldostill。IthinkI’llhavehim。
HARDCASTLE。Ay，Kate，butthereisstillanobstacle。It’smorethananevenwagerhemaynothaveyou。
MISSHARDCASTLE。Mydearpapa，whywillyoumortifyoneso？——Well，ifherefuses，insteadofbreakingmyheartathisindifference，I’llonlybreakmyglassforitsflattery，setmycaptosomenewerfashion，andlookoutforsomelessdifficultadmirer。
HARDCASTLE。Bravelyresolved!InthemeantimeI’llgopreparetheservantsforhisreception：asweseldomseecompany，theywantasmuchtrainingasacompanyofrecruitsthefirstday’smuster。[Exit。]
MISSHARDCASTLE。（Alone）。Lud，thisnewsofpapa’sputsmeallinaflutter。Young，handsome：theseheputlast；butIputthemforemost。
Sensible，good—natured；Ilikeallthat。Butthenreservedandsheepish；that’smuchagainsthim。Yetcan’thebecuredofhistimidity，bybeingtaughttobeproudofhiswife？Yes，andcan’tI——ButIvowI’mdisposingofthehusbandbeforeIhavesecuredthelover。
EnterMISSNEVILLE。
MISSHARDCASTLE。I’mgladyou’recome，Neville，mydear。Tellme，Constance，howdoIlookthisevening？Isthereanythingwhimsicalaboutme？Isitoneofmywell—lookingdays，child？AmIinfaceto—day？
MISSNEVILLE。Perfectly，mydear。YetnowIlookagain——blessme!——surenoaccidenthashappenedamongthecanarybirdsorthegoldfishes。Hasyourbrotherorthecatbeenmeddling？orhasthelastnovelbeentoomoving？
MISSHARDCASTLE。No；nothingofallthis。Ihavebeenthreatened——I
canscarcegetitout——Ihavebeenthreatenedwithalover。
MISSNEVILLE。Andhisname——
MISSHARDCASTLE。IsMarlow。
MISSNEVILLE。Indeed!
MISSHARDCASTLE。ThesonofSirCharlesMarlow。
MISSNEVILLE。AsIlive，themostintimatefriendofMr。Hastings，myadmirer。Theyareneverasunder。Ibelieveyoumusthaveseenhimwhenwelivedintown。
MISSHARDCASTLE。Never。
MISSNEVILLE。He’saverysingularcharacter，Iassureyou。Amongwomenofreputationandvirtueheisthemodestestmanalive；buthisacquaintancegivehimaverydifferentcharacteramongcreaturesofanotherstamp：youunderstandme。
MISSHARDCASTLE。Anoddcharacterindeed。Ishallneverbeabletomanagehim。WhatshallIdo？Pshaw，thinknomoreofhim，buttrusttooccurrencesforsuccess。Buthowgoesonyourownaffair，mydear？
hasmymotherbeencourtingyouformybrotherTonyasusual？
MISSNEVILLE。Ihavejustcomefromoneofouragreeabletete—a—tetes。Shehasbeensayingahundredtenderthings，andsettingoffherprettymonsterastheverypinkofperfection。
MISSHARDCASTLE。Andherpartialityissuch，thatsheactuallythinkshimso。Afortunelikeyoursisnosmalltemptation。Besides，asshehasthesolemanagementofit，I’mnotsurprisedtoseeherunwillingtoletitgooutofthefamily。
MISSNEVILLE。Afortunelikemine，whichchieflyconsistsinjewels，isnosuchmightytemptation。Butatanyrate，ifmydearHastingsbebutconstant，Imakenodoubttobetoohardforheratlast。However，IlethersupposethatIaminlovewithherson；andsheneveroncedreamsthatmyaffectionsarefixeduponanother。
MISSHARDCASTLE。Mygoodbrotherholdsoutstoutly。Icouldalmostlovehimforhatingyouso。
MISSNEVILLE。Itisagood—naturedcreatureatbottom，andI’msurewouldwishtoseememarriedtoanybodybuthimself。Butmyaunt’sbellringsforourafternoon’swalkroundtheimprovements。Allons!
Courageisnecessary，asouraffairsarecritical。
MISSHARDCASTLE。\"Woulditwerebed—time，andallwerewell。\"
[Exeunt。]
SCENE——AnAlehouseRoom。SeveralshabbyFellowswithpunchandtobacco。TONYattheheadofthetable，alittlehigherthantherest，amalletinhishand。
OMNES。Hurrea!hurrea!hurrea!bravo!
FIRSTFELLOWNow，gentlemen，silenceforasong。The’squireisgoingtoknockhimselfdownforasong。
OMNES。Ay，asong，asong!
TONY。ThenI’llsingyou，gentlemen，asongImadeuponthisalehouse，theThreePigeons。
SONG。
LetschoolmasterspuzzletheirbrainWithgrammar，andnonsense，andlearning，Goodliquor，Istoutlymaintain，GivesGENUSabetterdiscerning。
Letthembragoftheirheathenishgods，TheirLethes，theirStyxes，andStygians，TheirQuis，andtheirQuaes，andtheirQuods，They’reallbutaparcelofPigeons。
Toroddle，toroddle，toroll。
Whenmethodistpreacherscomedown，A—preachingthatdrinkingissinful，I’llwagertherascalsacrown，Theyalwayspreachbestwithaskinful。
Butwhenyoucomedownwithyourpence，Forasliceoftheirscurvyreligion，I’llleaveittoallmenofsense，Butyou，mygoodfriend，arethePigeon。
Toroddle，toroddle，toroll。
Thencome，putthejorumabout，Andletusbemerryandclever，Ourheartsandourliquorsarestout，Here’stheThreeJollyPigeonsforever。
Letsomecryupwoodcockorhare，Yourbustards，yourducks，andyourwidgeons；
ButofalltheGAYbirdsintheair，Here’sahealthtotheThreeJollyPigeons。
Toroddle，toroddle，toroll。
OMNES。Bravo，bravo!
FIRSTFELLOW。The’squirehasgotspunkinhim。
SECONDFELLOW。Ilovestohearhimsing，bekeayshenevergivesusnothingthat’slow。
THIRDFELLOW。Odamnanythingthat’slow，Icannotbearit。
FOURTHFELLOW。Thegenteelthingisthegenteelthinganytime：ifsobethatagentlemanbeesinaconcatenationaccordingly。
THIRDFELLOW。Ilikesthemaxumofit，MasterMuggins。What，thoughI
amobligatedtodanceabear，amanmaybeagentlemanforallthat。
Maythisbemypoison，ifmybeareverdancesbuttotheverygenteelestoftunes；\"WaterParted，\"or\"TheminuetinAriadne。\"
SECONDFELLOW。Whatapityitisthe’squireisnotcometohisown。
Itwouldbewellforallthepublicanswithintenmilesroundofhim。
TONY。Ecod，andsoitwould，MasterSlang。I’dthenshowwhatitwastokeepchoiceofcompany。
SECONDFELLOW。Ohetakesafterhisownfatherforthat。Tobesureold’SquireLumpkinwasthefinestgentlemanIeversetmyeyeson。
Forwindingthestraighthorn，orbeatingathicketforahare，orawench，heneverhadhisfellow。Itwasasayingintheplace，thathekeptthebesthorses，dogs，andgirls，inthewholecounty。
TONY。Ecod，andwhenI’mofage，I’llbenobastard，Ipromiseyou。I
havebeenthinkingofBetBouncerandthemiller’sgreymaretobeginwith。Butcome，myboys，drinkaboutandbemerry，foryoupaynoreckoning。Well，Stingo，what’sthematter？
EnterLandlord。
LANDLORD。Therebetwogentlemeninapost—chaiseatthedoor。Theyhavelosttheirwayupo’theforest；andtheyaretalkingsomethingaboutMr。Hardcastle。
TONY。Assureascanbe，oneofthemmustbethegentlemanthat’scomingdowntocourtmysister。DotheyseemtobeLondoners？
LANDLORD。Ibelievetheymay。TheylookwoundilylikeFrenchmen。
TONY。Thendesirethemtostepthisway，andI’llsetthemrightinatwinkling。（ExitLandlord。）Gentlemen，astheymayn’tbegoodenoughcompanyforyou，stepdownforamoment，andI’llbewithyouinthesqueezingofalemon。[Exeuntmob。]
TONY。（solus）。Father—in—lawhasbeencallingmewhelpandhoundthishalfyear。Now，ifIpleased，Icouldbesorevengedupontheoldgrumbletonian。ButthenI’mafraid——afraidofwhat？Ishallsoonbeworthfifteenhundredayear，andlethimfrightenmeoutofTHATifhecan。
EnterLandlord，conductingMARLOWandHASTINGS。
MARLOW。Whatatediousuncomfortabledayhavewehadofit!Weweretolditwasbutfortymilesacrossthecountry，andwehavecomeabovethreescore。
HASTINGS。Andall，Marlow，fromthatunaccountablereserveofyours，thatwouldnotletusinquiremorefrequentlyontheway。
MARLOW。Iown，Hastings，IamunwillingtolaymyselfunderanobligationtoeveryoneImeet，andoftenstandthechanceofanunmannerlyanswer。
HASTINGS。Atpresent，however，wearenotlikelytoreceiveanyanswer。
TONY。Nooffence，gentlemen。ButI’mtoldyouhavebeeninquiringforoneMr。Hardcastleintheseparts。Doyouknowwhatpartofthecountryyouarein？
HASTINGS。Notintheleast，sir，butshouldthankyouforinformation。
TONY。Northewayyoucame？
HASTINGS。No，sir：butifyoucaninformus————
TONY。Why，gentlemen，ifyouknowneithertheroadyouaregoing，norwhereyouare，northeroadyoucame，thefirstthingIhavetoinformyouis，that——youhavelostyourway。
MARLOW。Wewantednoghosttotellusthat。
TONY。Pray，gentlemen，mayIbesoboldsoastoasktheplacefromwhenceyoucame？
MARLOW。That’snotnecessarytowardsdirectinguswherewearetogo。
TONY。Nooffence；butquestionforquestionisallfair，youknow。
Pray，gentlemen，isnotthissameHardcastleacross—grained，old—fashioned，whimsicalfellow，withanuglyface，adaughter，andaprettyson？
HASTINGS。Wehavenotseenthegentleman；buthehasthefamilyyoumention。
TONY。Thedaughter，atall，trapesing，trolloping，talkativemaypole；
theson，apretty，well—bred，agreeableyouth，thateverybodyisfondof。
MARLOW。Ourinformationdiffersinthis。Thedaughterissaidtobewell—bredandbeautiful；thesonanawkwardbooby，rearedupandspoiledathismother’sapron—string。
TONY。He—he—hem!——Then，gentlemen，allIhavetotellyouis，thatyouwon’treachMr。Hardcastle’shousethisnight，Ibelieve。
HASTINGS。Unfortunate!
TONY。It’sadamn’dlong，dark，boggy，dirty，dangerousway。Stingo，tellthegentlementhewaytoMr。Hardcastle’s!（WinkingupontheLandlord。）Mr。Hardcastle’s，ofQuagmireMarsh，youunderstandme。
LANDLORD。MasterHardcastle’s!Lock—a—daisy，mymasters，you’recomeadeadlydealwrong!Whenyoucametothebottomofthehill，youshouldhavecrosseddownSquashLane。
MARLOW。CrossdownSquashLane!
LANDLORD。Thenyouweretokeepstraightforward，tillyoucametofourroads。
MARLOW。Cometowherefourroadsmeet？
TONY。Ay；butyoumustbesuretotakeonlyoneofthem。
MARLOW。O，sir，you’refacetious。
TONY。Thenkeepingtotheright，youaretogosidewaystillyoucomeuponCrackskullCommon：thereyoumustlooksharpforthetrackofthewheel，andgoforwardtillyoucometofarmerMurrain’sbarn。Comingtothefarmer’sbarn，youaretoturntotheright，andthentotheleft，andthentotherightaboutagain，tillyoufindouttheoldmill——
MARLOW。Zounds，man!wecouldassoonfindoutthelongitude!
HASTINGS。What’stobedone，Marlow？
MARLOW。Thishousepromisesbutapoorreception；thoughperhapsthelandlordcanaccommodateus。
LANDLORD。Alack，master，wehavebutonesparebedinthewholehouse。
TONY。Andtomyknowledge，that’stakenupbythreelodgersalready。
（Afterapause，inwhichtherestseemdisconcerted。）Ihavehitit。
Don’tyouthink，Stingo，ourlandladycouldaccommodatethegentlemenbythefire—side，with————threechairsandabolster？
HASTINGS。Ihatesleepingbythefire—side。
MARLOW。AndIdetestyourthreechairsandabolster。
TONY。Youdo，doyou？then，letmesee——whatifyougoonamilefurther，totheBuck’sHead；theoldBuck’sHeadonthehill，oneofthebestinnsinthewholecounty？
HASTINGS。Oho!sowehaveescapedanadventureforthisnight，however。
LANDLORD。（aparttoTONY）。Sure，youben’tsendingthemtoyourfather’sasaninn，beyou？
TONY。Mum，youfoolyou。LetTHEMfindthatout。（Tothem。）Youhaveonlytokeeponstraightforward，tillyoucometoalargeoldhousebytheroadside。You’llseeapairoflargehornsoverthedoor。That’sthesign。Driveuptheyard，andcallstoutlyaboutyou。
HASTINGS。Sir，weareobligedtoyou。Theservantscan’tmisstheway？
TONY。No，no：butItellyou，though，thelandlordisrich，andgoingtoleaveoffbusiness；sohewantstobethoughtagentleman，savingyourpresence，he!he!he!He’llbeforgivingyouhiscompany；and，ecod，ifyoumindhim，he’llpersuadeyouthathismotherwasanalderman，andhisauntajusticeofpeace。
LANDLORD。Atroublesomeoldblade，tobesure；butakeepsasgoodwinesandbedsasanyinthewholecountry。
MARLOW。Well，ifhesuppliesuswiththese，weshallwantnofartherconnexion。Wearetoturntotheright，didyousay？
TONY。No，no；straightforward。I’lljuststepmyself，andshowyouapieceoftheway。（TotheLandlord。）Mum!
LANDLORD。Ah，blessyourheart，forasweet，pleasant——damn’dmischievoussonofawhore。[Exeunt。]
ACTTHESECOND。
SCENE——Anold—fashionedHouse。
EnterHARDCASTLE，followedbythreeorfourawkwardServants。
HARDCASTLE。Well，IhopeyouareperfectinthetableexerciseIhavebeenteachingyouthesethreedays。Youallknowyourpostsandyourplaces，andcanshowthatyouhavebeenusedtogoodcompany，withouteverstirringfromhome。
OMNES。Ay，ay。
HARDCASTLE。Whencompanycomesyouarenottopopoutandstare，andthenruninagain，likefrightenedrabbitsinawarren。
OMNES。No，no。
HARDCASTLE。You，Diggory，whomIhavetakenfromthebarn，aretomakeashowattheside—table；andyou，Roger，whomIhaveadvancedfromtheplough，aretoplaceyourselfbehindmychair。Butyou’renottostandso，withyourhandsinyourpockets。Takeyourhandsfromyourpockets，Roger；andfromyourhead，youblockheadyou。SeehowDiggorycarrieshishands。They’realittletoostiff，indeed，butthat’snogreatmatter。
DIGGORY。Ay，mindhowIholdthem。IlearnedtoholdmyhandsthiswaywhenIwasupondrillforthemilitia。Andsobeingupondrill————
HARDCASTLE。Youmustnotbesotalkative，Diggory。Youmustbeallattentiontotheguests。Youmusthearustalk，andnotthinkoftalking；youmustseeusdrink，andnotthinkofdrinking；youmustseeuseat，andnotthinkofeating。
DIGGORY。Bythelaws，yourworship，that’sparfectlyunpossible。
WheneverDiggoryseesyeatinggoingforward，ecod，he’salwayswishingforamouthfulhimself。
HARDCASTLE。Blockhead!Isnotabelly—fullinthekitchenasgoodasabelly—fullintheparlour？Stayyourstomachwiththatreflection。
DIGGORY。Ecod，Ithankyourworship，I’llmakeashifttostaymystomachwithasliceofcoldbeefinthepantry。
HARDCASTLE。Diggory，youaretootalkative。——Then，ifIhappentosayagoodthing，ortellagoodstoryattable，youmustnotallburstouta—laughing，asifyoumadepartofthecompany。
DIGGORY。ThenecodyourworshipmustnottellthestoryofOuldGrouseinthegun—room：Ican’thelplaughingatthat——he!he!
he!——forthesoulofme。Wehavelaughedatthatthesetwentyyears——ha!ha!ha!
HARDCASTLE。Ha!ha!ha!Thestoryisagoodone。Well，honestDiggory，youmaylaughatthat——butstillremembertobeattentive。
Supposeoneofthecompanyshouldcallforaglassofwine，howwillyoubehave？Aglassofwine，sir，ifyouplease（toDIGGORY）。——Eh，whydon’tyoumove？
DIGGORY。Ecod，yourworship，IneverhavecouragetillIseetheeatablesanddrinkablesbroughtupo’thetable，andthenI’masbauldasalion。
HARDCASTLE。What，willnobodymove？
FIRSTSERVANT。I’mnottoleavethispleace。
SECONDSERVANT。I’msureit’snopleaceofmine。
THIRDSERVANT。Normine，forsartain。
DIGGORY。Wauns，andI’msureitcannabemine。
HARDCASTLE。Younumskulls!andsowhile，likeyourbetters，youarequarrellingforplaces，theguestsmustbestarved。Oyoudunces!I
findImustbeginalloveragain————Butdon’tIhearacoachdriveintotheyard？Toyourposts，youblockheads。I’llgointhemeantimeandgivemyoldfriend’ssonaheartyreceptionatthegate。[ExitHARDCASTLE。]
DIGGORY。Bytheelevens，mypleaceisgonequiteoutofmyhead。
ROGER。Iknowthatmypleaceistobeeverywhere。
FIRSTSERVANT。Wherethedevilismine？
SECONDSERVANT。Mypleaceistobenowhereatall；andsoI’zegoaboutmybusiness。[ExeuntServants，runningaboutasiffrightened，differentways。]
EnterServantwithcandles，showinginMARLOWandHASTINGS。
SERVANT。Welcome，gentlemen，verywelcome!Thisway。
HASTINGS。Afterthedisappointmentsoftheday，welcomeoncemore，Charles，tothecomfortsofacleanroomandagoodfire。Uponmyword，averywell—lookinghouse；antiquebutcreditable。
MARLOW。Theusualfateofalargemansion。Havingfirstruinedthemasterbygoodhousekeeping，itatlastcomestolevycontributionsasaninn。
HASTINGS。Asyousay，wepassengersaretobetaxedtopayallthesefineries。Ihaveoftenseenagoodsideboard，oramarblechimney—piece，thoughnotactuallyputinthebill，inflameareckoningconfoundedly。
MARLOW。Travellers，George，mustpayinallplaces：theonlydifferenceis，thatingoodinnsyoupaydearlyforluxuries；inbadinnsyouarefleecedandstarved。
HASTINGS。Youhavelivedverymuchamongthem。Intruth，Ihavebeenoftensurprised，thatyouwhohaveseensomuchoftheworld，withyournaturalgoodsense，andyourmanyopportunities，couldneveryetacquirearequisiteshareofassurance。
MARLOW。TheEnglishman’smalady。Buttellme，George，wherecouldI
havelearnedthatassuranceyoutalkof？Mylifehasbeenchieflyspentinacollegeoraninn，inseclusionfromthatlovelypartofthecreationthatchieflyteachmenconfidence。Idon’tknowthatIwaseverfamiliarlyacquaintedwithasinglemodestwoman——exceptmymother——Butamongfemalesofanotherclass，youknow————
HASTINGS。Ay，amongthemyouareimpudentenoughofallconscience。
MARLOW。TheyareofUS，youknow。
HASTINGS。ButinthecompanyofwomenofreputationIneversawsuchanidiot，suchatrembler；youlookforalltheworldasifyouwantedanopportunityofstealingoutoftheroom。
MARLOW。Why，man，that’sbecauseIdowanttostealoutoftheroom。
Faith，Ihaveoftenformedaresolutiontobreaktheice，andrattleawayatanyrate。ButIdon’tknowhow，asingleglancefromapairoffineeyeshastotallyoversetmyresolution。Animpudentfellowmaycounterfeitmodesty；butI’llbehangedifamodestmancanevercounterfeitimpudence。
HASTINGS。IfyoucouldbutsayhalfthefinethingstothemthatI
haveheardyoulavishuponthebar—maidofaninn，orevenacollegebed—maker————
MARLOW。Why，George，Ican’tsayfinethingstothem；theyfreeze，theypetrifyme。Theymaytalkofacomet，oraburningmountain，orsomesuchbagatelle；but，tome，amodestwoman，drestoutinallherfinery，isthemosttremendousobjectofthewholecreation。
HASTINGS。Ha!ha!ha!Atthisrate，man，howcanyoueverexpecttomarry？
MARLOW。Never；unless，asamongkingsandprinces，mybrideweretobecourtedbyproxy。If，indeed，likeanEasternbridegroom，oneweretobeintroducedtoawifeheneversawbefore，itmightbeendured。Buttogothroughalltheterrorsofaformalcourtship，togetherwiththeepisodeofaunts，grandmothers，andcousins，andatlasttoblurtoutthebroadstaringquestionof，Madam，willyoumarryme？No，no，that’sastrainmuchaboveme，Iassureyou。
HASTINGS。Ipityyou。Buthowdoyouintendbehavingtotheladyyouarecomedowntovisitattherequestofyourfather？
MARLOW。AsIbehavetoallotherladies。Bowverylow，answeryesornotoallherdemands——Butfortherest，Idon’tthinkIshallventuretolookinherfacetillIseemyfather’sagain。
HASTINGS。I’msurprisedthatonewhoissowarmafriendcanbesocoolalover。
MARLOW。Tobeexplicit，mydearHastings，mychiefinducementdownwastobeinstrumentalinforwardingyourhappiness，notmyown。MissNevillelovesyou，thefamilydon’tknowyou；asmyfriendyouaresureofareception，andlethonourdotherest。
HASTINGS。MydearMarlow!ButI’llsuppresstheemotion。WereIawretch，meanlyseekingtocarryoffafortune，youshouldbethelastmanintheworldIwouldapplytoforassistance。ButMissNeville’spersonisallIask，andthatismine，bothfromherdeceasedfather’sconsent，andherowninclination。
MARLOW。Happyman!Youhavetalentsandarttocaptivateanywoman。
I’mdoom’dtoadorethesex，andyettoconversewiththeonlypartofitIdespise。Thisstammerinmyaddress，andthisawkwardprepossessingvisageofmine，canneverpermitmetosoarabovethereachofamilliner’s’prentice，oroneoftheduchessesofDrury—lane。
Pshaw!thisfellowheretointerruptus。
EnterHARDCASTLE。
HARDCASTLE。Gentlemen，oncemoreyouareheartilywelcome。WhichisMr。Marlow？Sir，youareheartilywelcome。It’snotmyway，yousee，toreceivemyfriendswithmybacktothefire。Ilikegivethemaheartyreceptionintheoldstyleatmygate。Iliketoseetheirhorsesandtrunkstakencareof。
MARLOW。（Aside。）Hehasgotournamesfromtheservantsalready。（Tohim。）Weapproveyourcautionandhospitality，sir。（ToHASTINGS。）I
havebeenthinking，George，ofchangingourtravellingdressesinthemorning。Iamgrownconfoundedlyashamedofmine。
HARDCASTLE。Ibeg，Mr。Marlow，you’llusenoceremonyinthishouse。
HASTINGS。Ifancy，Charles，you’reright：thefirstblowishalfthebattle。Iintendopeningthecampaignwiththewhiteandgold。
HARDCASTLE。Mr。Marlow——Mr。Hastings——gentlemen——praybeundernoconstraintinthishouse。ThisisLiberty—hall，gentlemen。Youmaydojustasyoupleasehere。
MARLOW。Yet，George，ifweopenthecampaigntoofiercelyatfirst，wemaywantammunitionbeforeitisover。Ithinktoreservetheembroiderytosecurearetreat。
HARDCASTLE。Yourtalkingofaretreat，Mr。Marlow，putsmeinmindoftheDukeofMarlborough，whenwewenttobesiegeDenain。Hefirstsummonedthegarrison————
MARLOW。Don’tyouthinktheventred’orwaistcoatwilldowiththeplainbrown？
HARDCASTLE。Hefirstsummonedthegarrison，whichmightconsistofaboutfivethousandmen————
HASTINGS。Ithinknot：brownandyellowmixbutverypoorly。
HARDCASTLE。Isay，gentlemen，asIwastellingyou，besummonedthegarrison，whichmightconsistofaboutfivethousandmen————
MARLOW。Thegirlslikefinery。
HARDCASTLE。Whichmightconsistofaboutfivethousandmen，wellappointedwithstores，ammunition，andotherimplementsofwar。Now，saystheDukeofMarlboroughtoGeorgeBrooks，thatstoodnexttohim——youmusthaveheardofGeorgeBrooks——I’llpawnmydukedom，sayshe，butItakethatgarrisonwithoutspillingadropofblood。So————
MARLOW。What，mygoodfriend，ifyougaveusaglassofpunchinthemeantime；itwouldhelpustocarryonthesiegewithvigour。
HARDCASTLE。Punch，sir!（Aside。）ThisisthemostunaccountablekindofmodestyIevermetwith。
MARLOW。Yes，sir，punch。Aglassofwarmpunch，afterourjourney，willbecomfortable。ThisisLiberty—hall，youknow。
HARDCASTLE。Here’sacup，sir。
MARLOW。（Aside。）Sothisfellow，inhisLiberty—hall，willonlyletushavejustwhathepleases。
HARDCASTLE。（Takingthecup。）Ihopeyou’llfindittoyourmind。I
haveprepareditwithmyownhands，andIbelieveyou’llowntheingredientsaretolerable。Willyoubesogoodastopledgeme，sir？
Here，Mr。Marlow，hereistoourbetteracquaintance。[Drinks。]
MARLOW。（Aside。）Averyimpudentfellowthis!buthe’sacharacter，andI’llhumourhimalittle。Sir，myservicetoyou。[Drinks。]
HASTINGS。（Aside。）Iseethisfellowwantstogiveushiscompany，andforgetsthathe’saninnkeeper，beforehehaslearnedtobeagentleman。
MARLOW。Fromtheexcellenceofyourcup，myoldfriend，Isupposeyouhaveagooddealofbusinessinthispartofthecountry。Warmwork，nowandthen，atelections，Isuppose。
HARDCASTLE。No，sir，Ihavelonggiventhatworkover。Sinceourbettershavehitupontheexpedientofelectingeachother，thereisnobusiness\"forusthatsellale。\"
HASTINGS。So，then，youhavenoturnforpolitics，Ifind。
HARDCASTLE。Notintheleast。Therewasatime，indeed，Ifrettedmyselfaboutthemistakesofgovernment，likeotherpeople；butfindingmyselfeverydaygrowmoreangry，andthegovernmentgrowingnobetter，Ileftittomenditself。Sincethat，InomoretroublemyheadaboutHyderAlly，orAllyCawn，thanaboutAllyCroker。Sir，myservicetoyou。
HASTINGS。Sothatwitheatingabovestairs，anddrinkingbelow，withreceivingyourfriendswithin，andamusingthemwithout，youleadagoodpleasantbustlinglifeofit。
HARDCASTLE。Idostiraboutagreatdeal，that’scertain。Halfthedifferencesoftheparishareadjustedinthisveryparlour。
MARLOW。（Afterdrinking。）Andyouhaveanargumentinyourcup，oldgentleman，betterthananyinWestminster—hall。
HARDCASTLE。Ay，younggentleman，that，andalittlephilosophy。
MARLOW。（Aside。）Well，thisisthefirsttimeIeverheardofaninnkeeper’sphilosophy。
HASTINGS。Sothen，likeanexperiencedgeneral，youattackthemoneveryquarter。Ifyoufindtheirreasonmanageable，youattackitwithyourphilosophy；ifyoufindtheyhavenoreason，youattackthemwiththis。Here’syourhealth，myphilosopher。[Drinks。]
HARDCASTLE。Good，verygood，thankyou；ha!ha!YourgeneralshipputsmeinmindofPrinceEugene，whenhefoughttheTurksatthebattleofBelgrade。Youshallhear。
MARLOW。InsteadofthebattleofBelgrade，Ibelieveit’salmosttimetotalkaboutsupper。Whathasyourphilosophygotinthehouseforsupper？
HARDCASTLE。Forsupper，sir!（Aside。）Waseversucharequesttoamaninhisownhouse？
MARLOW。Yes，sir，supper，sir；Ibegintofeelanappetite。Ishallmakedevilishworkto—nightinthelarder，Ipromiseyou。
HARDCASTLE。（Aside。）Suchabrazendogsurenevermyeyesbeheld。
（Tohim。）Why，really，sir，asforsupperIcan’twelltell。MyDorothyandthecook—maidsettlethesethingsbetweenthem。Ileavethesekindofthingsentirelytothem。
MARLOW。Youdo，doyou？
HARDCASTLE。Entirely。Bythebye，Ibelievetheyareinactualconsultationuponwhat’sforsupperthismomentinthekitchen。
MARLOW。ThenIbegthey’lladmitmeasoneoftheirprivycouncil。
It’sawayIhavegot。WhenItravel，Ialwayschosetoregulatemyownsupper。Letthecookbecalled。NooffenceIhope，sir。
HARDCASTLE。Ono，sir，noneintheleast；yetIdon’tknowhow；ourBridget，thecook—maid，isnotverycommunicativeupontheseoccasions。Shouldwesendforher，shemightscoldusalloutofthehouse。
HASTINGS。Let’sseeyourlistofthelarderthen。Iaskitasafavour。Ialwaysmatchmyappetitetomybilloffare。
MARLOW。（ToHARDCASTLE，wholooksatthemwithsurprise。）Sir，he’sveryright，andit’smywaytoo。
HARDCASTLE。Sir，youhavearighttocommandhere。Here，Roger，bringusthebilloffareforto—night’ssupper：Ibelieveit’sdrawnout——Yourmanner，Mr。Hastings，putsmeinmindofmyuncle，ColonelWallop。Itwasasayingofhis，thatnomanwassureofhissuppertillhehadeatenit。
HASTINGS。（Aside。）Alluponthehighrope!Hisuncleacolonel!weshallsoonhearofhismotherbeingajusticeofthepeace。Butlet’shearthebilloffare。
MARLOW。（Perusing。）What’shere？Forthefirstcourse；forthesecondcourse；forthedessert。Thedevil，sir，doyouthinkwehavebroughtdownawholeJoiners’Company，orthecorporationofBedford，toeatupsuchasupper？Twoorthreelittlethings，cleanandcomfortable，willdo。
HASTINGS。Butlet’shearit。
MARLOW。（Reading。）Forthefirstcourse，atthetop，apigandprunesauce。
HASTINGS。Damnyourpig，Isay。
MARLOW。Anddamnyourprunesauce，sayI。
HARDCASTLE。Andyet，gentlemen，tomenthatarehungry，pigwithprunesauceisverygoodeating。
MARLOW。Atthebottom，acalf’stongueandbrains。
HASTINGS。Letyourbrainsbeknockedout，mygoodsir，Idon’tlikethem。
MARLOW。Oryoumayclapthemonaplatebythemselves。Ido。
HARDCASTLE。（Aside。）Theirimpudenceconfoundsme。（Tothem。）
Gentlemen，youaremyguests，makewhatalterationsyouplease。Isthereanythingelseyouwishtoretrenchoralter，gentlemen？
MARLOW。Item，aporkpie，aboiledrabbitandsausages，aFlorentine，ashakingpudding，andadishoftiff——taff——taffetycream。
HASTINGS。Confoundyourmadedishes；IshallbeasmuchatalossinthishouseasatagreenandyellowdinnerattheFrenchambassador’stable。I’mforplaineating。
HARDCASTLE。I’msorry，gentlemen，thatIhavenothingyoulike，butiftherebeanythingyouhaveaparticularfancyto————
MARLOW。Why，really，sir，yourbilloffareissoexquisite，thatanyonepartofitisfullasgoodasanother。Senduswhatyouplease。
Somuchforsupper。Andnowtoseethatourbedsareaired，andproperlytakencareof。
HARDCASTLE。Ientreatyou’llleavethattome。Youshallnotstirastep。
MARLOW。Leavethattoyou!Iprotest，sir，youmustexcuseme，I
alwayslooktothesethingsmyself。
HARDCASTLE。Imustinsist，sir，you’llmakeyourselfeasyonthathead。
MARLOW。YouseeI’mresolvedonit。（Aside。）Averytroublesomefellowthis，asIevermetwith。
HARDCASTLE。Well，sir，I’mresolvedatleasttoattendyou。（Aside。）
Thismaybemodemmodesty，butIneversawanythinglooksolikeold—fashionedimpudence。[ExeuntMARLOWandHARDCASTLE。]
HASTINGS。（Alone。）SoIfindthisfellow’scivilitiesbegintogrowtroublesome。Butwhocanbeangryatthoseassiduitieswhicharemeanttopleasehim？Ha!whatdoIsee？MissNeville，byallthat’shappy!
EnterMISSNEVILLE。
MISSNEVILLE。MydearHastings!Towhatunexpectedgoodfortune，towhataccident，amItoascribethishappymeeting？
HASTINGS。Ratherletmeaskthesamequestion，asIcouldneverhavehopedtomeetmydearestConstanceataninn。
MISSNEVILLE。Aninn!sureyoumistake：myaunt，myguardian，liveshere。Whatcouldinduceyoutothinkthishouseaninn？
HASTINGS。Myfriend，Mr。Marlow，withwhomIcamedown，andI，havebeensenthereastoaninn，Iassureyou。Ayoungfellow，whomweaccidentallymetatahousehardby，directedushither。
MISSNEVILLE。Certainlyitmustbeoneofmyhopefulcousin’stricks，ofwhomyouhaveheardmetalksooften；ha!ha!ha!
HASTINGS。Hewhomyourauntintendsforyou？heofwhomIhavesuchjustapprehensions？
MISSNEVILLE。Youhavenothingtofearfromhim，Iassureyou。You’dadorehim，ifyouknewhowheartilyhedespisesme。Myauntknowsittoo，andhasundertakentocourtmeforhim，andactuallybeginstothinkshehasmadeaconquest。
HASTINGS。Thoudeardissembler!Youmustknow，myConstance，Ihavejustseizedthishappyopportunityofmyfriend’svisitheretogetadmittanceintothefamily。Thehorsesthatcarriedusdownarenowfatiguedwiththeirjourney，butthey’llsoonberefreshed；andthen，ifmydearestgirlwilltrustinherfaithfulHastings，weshallsoonbelandedinFrance，whereevenamongslavesthelawsofmarriagearerespected。
MISSNEVILLE。Ihaveoftentoldyou，thatthoughreadytoobeyyou，I
yetshouldleavemylittlefortunebehindwithreluctance。Thegreatestpartofitwasleftmebymyuncle，theIndiadirector，andchieflyconsistsinjewels。Ihavebeenforsometimepersuadingmyaunttoletmewearthem。IfancyI’mverynearsucceeding。Theinstanttheyareputintomypossession，youshallfindmereadytomakethemandmyselfyours。
HASTINGS。Perishthebaubles!YourpersonisallIdesire。Inthemeantime，myfriendMarlowmustnotbeletintohismistake。Iknowthestrangereserveofhistemperissuch，thatifabruptlyinformedofit，hewouldinstantlyquitthehousebeforeourplanwasripeforexecution。
MISSNEVILLE。Buthowshallwekeephiminthedeception？MissHardcastleisjustreturnedfromwalking；whatifwestillcontinuetodeceivehim？————This，thisway————[Theyconfer。]
EnterMARLOW。
MARLOW。Theassiduitiesofthesegoodpeopleteazemebeyondbearing。
Myhostseemstothinkitillmannerstoleavemealone，andsoheclapsnotonlyhimself，buthisold—fashionedwife，onmyback。Theytalkofcomingtosupwithustoo；andthen，Isuppose，wearetorunthegantletthroughalltherestofthefamily。——Whathavewegothere？
HASTINGS。MydearCharles!Letmecongratulateyou!——Themostfortunateaccident!——Whodoyouthinkisjustalighted？
MARLOW。Cannotguess。
HASTINGS。Ourmistresses，boy，MissHardcastleandMissNeville。
GivemeleavetointroduceMissConstanceNevilletoyouracquaintance。Happeningtodineintheneighbourhood，theycalledontheirreturntotakefreshhorseshere。MissHardcastlehasjuststeptintothenextroom，andwillbebackinaninstant。Wasn’titlucky？
eh!
MARLOW。（Aside。）Ihavebeenmortifiedenoughofallconscience，andherecomessomethingtocompletemyembarrassment。
HASTINGS。Well，butwasn’titthemostfortunatethingintheworld？
MARLOW。Oh!yes。Veryfortunate——amostjoyfulencounter——Butourdresses，George，youknowareindisorder——Whatifweshouldpostponethehappinesstillto—morrow？——To—morrowatherownhouse——Itwillbeeverybitasconvenient——andrathermorerespectful——To—morrowletitbe。[Offeringtogo。]
MISSNEVILLE。Bynomeans，sir。Yourceremonywilldispleaseher。
Thedisorderofyourdresswillshowtheardourofyourimpatience。
Besides，sheknowsyouareinthehouse，andwillpermityoutoseeher。