\"Iwouldtakelibertyfromanyhandasahungrymanwouldsnatchapieceofbread。\"
MissHALDIN
PARTFIRST
TobeginwithIwishtodisclaimthepossessionofthosehighgiftsofimaginationandexpressionwhichwouldhaveenabledmypentocreateforthereaderthepersonalityofthemanwhocalledhimself,aftertheRussiancustom,CyrilsonofIsidor——KiryloSidorovitch—Razumov,IfIhaveeverhadthesegiftsinanysortoflivingformtheyhavebeensmotheredoutofexistencealongtimeagounderawildernessofwords。Words,asiswellknown,arethegreatfoesofreality。Ihavebeenformanyyearsateacheroflanguages。
Itisanoccupationwhichatlengthbecomesfataltowhatevershareofimagination,observation,andinsightanordinarypersonmaybeheirto。Toateacheroflanguagestherecomesatimewhentheworldisbutaplaceofmanywordsandmanappearsameretalkinganimalnotmuchmorewonderfulthanaparrot。
Thisbeingso,IcouldnothaveobservedMr。Razumovorguessedathisrealitybytheforceofinsight,muchlesshaveimaginedhimashewas。Eventoinventthemerebaldfactsofhislifewouldhavebeenutterlybeyondmypowers。ButIthinkthatwithoutthisdeclarationthereadersofthesepageswillbeabletodetectinthestorythemarksofdocumentaryevidence。Andthatisperfectlycorrect。Itisbasedonadocument;allIhavebroughttoitismyknowledgeoftheRussianlanguage,whichissufficientforwhatisattemptedhere。Thedocument,ofcourse,issomethinginthenatureofajournal,adiary,yetnotexactlythatinitsactualform。Forinstance,mostofitwasnotwrittenupfromdaytoday,thoughalltheentriesaredated。Someoftheseentriescovermonthsoftimeandextendoverdozensofpages。Alltheearlierpartisaretrospect,inanarrativeform,relatingtoaneventwhichtookplaceaboutayearbefore。
ImustmentionthatIhavelivedforalongtimeinGeneva。A
wholequarterofthattown,onaccountofmanyRussiansresidingthere,iscalledLaPetiteRussie——LittleRussia。IhadaratherextensiveconnexioninLittleRussiaatthattime。YetI
confessthatIhavenocomprehensionoftheRussiancharacter。
Theillogicalityoftheirattitude,thearbitrarinessoftheirconclusions,thefrequencyoftheexceptional,shouldpresentnodifficultytoastudentofmanygrammars;buttheremustbesomethingelseintheway,somespecialhumantrait——oneofthosesubtledifferencesthatarebeyondthekenofmereprofessors。
WhatmustremainstrikingtoateacheroflanguagesistheRussians’extraordinaryloveofwords。Theygatherthemup;theycherishthem,buttheydon’thoardthemintheirbreasts;onthecontrary,theyarealwaysreadytopourthemoutbythehourorbythenightwithanenthusiasm,asweepingabundance,withsuchanaptnessofapplicationsometimesthat,asinthecaseofveryaccomplishedparrots,onecan’tdefendoneselffromthesuspicionthattheyreallyunderstandwhattheysay。Thereisagenerosityintheirardourofspeechwhichremovesitasfaraspossiblefromcommonloquacity;anditisevertoodisconnectedtobeclassedaseloquence……ButImustapologizeforthisdigression。
ItwouldbeidletoinquirewhyMr。Razumovhasleftthisrecordbehindhim。Itisinconceivablethatheshouldhavewishedanyhumaneyetoseeit。Amysteriousimpulseofhumannaturecomesintoplayhere。PuttingasideSamuelPepys,whohasforcedinthiswaythedoorofimmortality,innumerablepeople,criminals,saints,philosophers,younggirls,statesmen,andsimpleimbeciles,havekeptself—revealingrecordsfromvanitynodoubt,butalsofromothermoreinscrutablemotives。Theremustbeawonderfulsoothingpowerinmerewordssincesomanymenhaveusedthemforself—communion。BeingmyselfaquietindividualItakeitthatwhatallmenarereallyafterissomeformorperhapsonlysomeformulaofpeace。Certainlytheyarecryingloudenoughforitatthepresentday。WhatsortofpeaceKiryloSidorovitchRazumovexpectedtofindinthewritingupofhisrecorditpassethmyunderstandingtoguess。
Thefactremainsthathehaswrittenit。
Mr。Razumovwasatall,well—proportionedyoungman,quiteunusuallydarkforaRussianfromtheCentralProvinces。Hisgoodlookswouldhavebeenunquestionableifithadnotbeenforapeculiarlackoffinenessinthefeatures。Itwasasifafacemodelledvigorouslyinwax(withsomeapproacheventoaclassicalcorrectnessoftype)hadbeenheldclosetoafiretillallsharpnessoflinehadbeenlostinthesofteningofthematerial。Buteventhushewassufficientlygood—looking。Hismanner,too,wasgood。Indiscussionhewaseasilyswayedbyargumentandauthority。Withhisyoungercompatriotshetooktheattitudeofaninscrutablelistener,alistenerofthekindthathearsyououtintelligentlyandthen——justchangesthesubject。
Thissortoftrick,whichmayariseeitherfromintellectualinsufficiencyorfromanimperfecttrustinone’sownconvictions,procuredforMr。Razumovareputationofprofundity。
Amongstalotofexuberanttalkers,inthehabitofexhaustingthemselvesdailybyardentdiscussion,acomparativelytaciturnpersonalityisnaturallycreditedwithreservepower。ByhiscomradesattheSt。PetersburgUniversity,KiryloSidorovitchRazumov,thirdyear’sstudentinphilosophy,waslookeduponasastrongnature——analtogethertrustworthyman。This,inacountrywhereanopinionmaybealegalcrimevisitedbydeathorsometimesbyafateworsethanmeredeath,meantthathewasworthyofbeingtrustedwithforbiddenopinions。Hewaslikedalsoforhisamiabilityandforhisquietreadinesstoobligehiscomradesevenatthecostofpersonalinconvenience。
Mr。RazumovwassupposedtobethesonofanArchpriestandtobeprotectedbyadistinguishednobleman——perhapsofhisowndistantprovince。Buthisoutwardappearanceaccordedbadlywithsuchhumbleorigin。Suchadescentwasnotcredible。Itwas,indeed,suggestedthatMr。RazumovwasthesonofanArchpriest’sprettydaughter——which,ofcourse,wouldputadifferentcomplexiononthematter。Thistheoryalsorenderedintelligibletheprotectionofthedistinguishednobleman。Allthis,however,hadneverbeeninvestigatedmaliciouslyorotherwise。Noonekneworcaredwhothenoblemaninquestionwas。Razumovreceivedamodestbutverysufficientallowancefromthehandsofanobscureattorney,whoseemedtoactashisguardianinsomemeasure。
Nowandthenheappearedatsomeprofessor’sinformalreception。
ApartfromthatRazumovwasnotknowntohaveanysocialrelationsinthetown。Heattendedtheobligatorylecturesregularlyandwasconsideredbytheauthoritiesasaverypromisingstudent。Heworkedathomeinthemannerofamanwhomeanstogeton,butdidnotshuthimselfupseverelyforthatpurpose。Hewasalwaysaccessible,andtherewasnothingsecretorreservedinhislife。
I
THEoriginofMr。Razumov’srecordisconnectedwithaneventcharacteristicofmodernRussiaintheactualfact:theassassinationofaprominentstatesman——andstillmorecharacteristicofthemoralcorruptionofanoppressedsocietywherethenoblestaspirationsofhumanity,thedesireoffreedom,anardentpatriotism,theloveofjustice,thesenseofpity,andeventhefidelityofsimplemindsareprostitutedtothelustsofhateandfear,theinseparablecompanionsofanuneasydespotism。
ThefactalludedtoaboveisthesuccessfulattemptonthelifeofMr。deP———,thePresidentofthenotoriousRepressiveCommissionofsomeyearsago,theMinisterofStateinvestedwithextraordinarypowers。Thenewspapersmadenoiseenoughaboutthatfanatical,narrow—chestedfigureingold—laceduniform,withafaceofcrumpledparchment,insipid,bespectacledeyes,andthecrossoftheOrderofSt。Procopiushungundertheskinnythroat。
Foratime,itmayberemembered,notamonthpassedwithouthisportraitappearinginsomeoneoftheillustratedpapersofEurope。Heservedthemonarchybyimprisoning,exiling,orsendingtothegallowsmenandwomen,youngandold,withanequable,unweariedindustry。Inhismysticacceptanceoftheprincipleofautocracyhewasbentonextirpatingfromthelandeveryvestigeofanythingthatresembledfreedominpublicinstitutions;andinhisruthlesspersecutionoftherisinggenerationheseemedtoaimatthedestructionoftheveryhopeoflibertyitself。
Itissaidthatthisexecratedpersonalityhadnotenoughimaginationtobeawareofthehateheinspired。Itishardlycredible;butitisafactthathetookveryfewprecautionsforhissafety。InthepreambleofacertainfamousStatepaperhehaddeclaredoncethat\"thethoughtoflibertyhasneverexistedintheActoftheCreator。Fromthemultitudeofmen’scounselnothingcouldcomebutrevoltanddisorder;andrevoltanddisorderinaworldcreatedforobedienceandstabilityissin。ItwasnotReasonbutAuthoritywhichexpressedtheDivineIntention。GodwastheAutocratoftheUniverse……\"ItmaybethatthemanwhomadethisdeclarationbelievedthatheavenitselfwasboundtoprotecthiminhisremorselessdefenceofAutocracyonthisearth。
Nodoubtthevigilanceofthepolicesavedhimmanytimes;but,asamatteroffact,whenhisappointedfateovertookhim,thecompetentauthoritiescouldnothavegivenhimanywarning。TheyhadnoknowledgeofanyconspiracyagainsttheMinister’slife,hadnohintofanyplotthroughtheirusualchannelsofinformation,hadseennosigns,wereawareofnosuspiciousmovementsordangerouspersons。
Mr。deP———wasbeingdriventowardstherailwaystationinatwo—horseuncoveredsleighwithfootmanandcoachmanonthebox。
Snowhadbeenfallingallnight,makingtheroadway,unclearedasyetatthisearlyhour,veryheavyforthehorses。Itwasstillfallingthickly。Butthesleighmusthavebeenobservedandmarkeddown。Asitdrewovertotheleftbeforetakingaturn,thefootmannoticedapeasantwalkingslowlyontheedgeofthepavementwithhishandsinthepocketsofhissheepskincoatandhisshouldershuncheduptohisearsunderthefallingsnow。Onbeingovertakenthispeasantsuddenlyfacedaboutandswunghisarm。Inaninstanttherewasaterribleshock,adetonationmufffledinthemultitudeofsnowflakes;bothhorseslaydeadandmangledonthegroundandthecoachman,withashrillcry,hadfallenofftheboxmortallywounded。Thefootman(whosurvived)
hadnotimetoseethefaceofthemaninthesheepskincoat。
Afterthrowingthebombthislastgotaway,butitissupposedthat,seeingalotofpeoplesurginguponallsidesofhiminthefallingsnow,andallrunningtowardsthesceneoftheexplosion,hethoughtitsafertoturnbackwiththem。
Inanincrediblyshorttimeanexcitedcrowdassembledroundthesledge。TheMinister—President,gettingoutunhurtintothedeepsnow,stoodnearthegroaningcoachmanandaddressedthepeoplerepeatedlyinhisweak,colourlessvoice:\"Ibegofyoutokeepoff:FortheloveofGod,Ibegofyougoodpeopletokeepoff。\"
Itwasthenthatatallyoungmanwhohadremainedstandingperfectlystillwithinacarriagegateway,twohouseslowerdown,steppedoutintothestreetandwalkinguprapidlyflunganotherbombovertheheadsofthecrowd。ItactuallystrucktheMinister—Presidentontheshoulderashestoopedoverhisdyingservant,thenfallingbetweenhisfeetexplodedwithaterrificconcentratedviolence,strikinghimdeadtotheground,finishingthewoundedmanandpracticallyannihilatingtheemptysledgeinthetwinklingofaneye。Withayellofhorrorthecrowdbrokeupandfledinalldirections,exceptforthosewhofelldeadordyingwheretheystoodnearesttotheMinister—President,andoneortwootherswhodidnotfalltilltheyhadrunalittleway。
Thefirstexplosionhadbroughttogetheracrowdasifbyenchantment,thesecondmadeasswiftlyasolitudeinthestreetforhundredsofyardsineachdirection。Throughthefallingsnowpeoplelookedfromafaratthesmallheapofdeadbodieslyinguponeachothernearthecarcasesofthetwohorses。
NobodydaredtoapproachtillsomeCossacksofastreet—patrolgallopedupand,dismounting,begantoturnoverthedead。
Amongsttheinnocentvictimsofthesecondexplosionlaidoutonthepavementtherewasabodydressedinapeasant’ssheepskincoat;butthefacewasunrecognisable,therewasabsolutelynothingfoundinthepocketsofitspoorclothing,anditwastheonlyonewhoseidentitywasneverestablished。
ThatdayMr。RazumovgotupathisusualhourandspentthemorningwithintheUniversitybuildingslisteningtothelecturesandworkingforsometime,inthelibrary。Heheardthefirstvaguerumourofsomethinginthewayofbomb—throwingatthetableofthestudents’ordinary,wherehewasaccustomedtoeathistwoo’clockdinner。Butthisrumourwasmadeupofmerewhispers,andthiswasRussia,whereitwasnotalwayssafe,forastudentespecially,toappeartoomuchinterestedincertainkindsofwhispers。Razumovwasoneofthosemenwho,livinginaperiodofmentalandpoliticalunrest,keepaninstinctiveholdonnormal,practical,everydaylife。Hewasawareoftheemotionaltensionofhistime;heevenrespondedtoitinanindefiniteway。Buthismainconcernwaswithhiswork,hisstudies,andwithhisownfuture。
Officiallyandinfactwithoutafamily(forthedaughteroftheArchpriesthadlongbeendead),nohomeinfluenceshadshapedhisopinionsorhisfeelings。Hewasaslonelyintheworldasamanswimminginthedeepsea。ThewordRazumovwasthemerelabelofasolitaryindividuality。TherewerenoRazumovsbelongingtohimanywhere。HisclosestparentagewasdefinedinthestatementthathewasaRussian。Whatevergoodheexpectedfromlifewouldbegiventoorwithheldfromhishopesbythatconnexionalone。Thisimmenseparentagesufferedfromthethroesofinternaldissensions,andheshrankmentallyfromthefrayasagood—naturedmanmayshrinkfromtakingdefinitesidesinaviolentfamilyquarrel。
Razumov,goinghome,reflectedthathavingpreparedallthemattersoftheforthcomingexamination,hecouldnowdevotehistimetothesubjectoftheprizeessay。Hehankeredafterthesilvermedal。TheprizewasofferedbytheMinistryofEducation;thenamesofthecompetitorswouldbesubmittedtotheMinisterhimself。Themerefactoftryingwouldbeconsideredmeritoriousinthehigherquarters;andthepossessoroftheprizewouldhaveaclaimtoanadministrativeappointmentofthebettersortafterhehadtakenhisdegree。ThestudentRazumovinanaccessofelationforgotthedangersmenacingthestabilityoftheinstitutionswhichgiverewardsandappointments。Butrememberingthemedallistoftheyearbefore,Razumov,theyoungmanofnoparentage,wassobered。Heandsomeothershappenedtobeassembledintheircomrade’sroomsattheverytimewhenthatlastreceivedtheofficialadviceofhissuccess。Hewasaquiet,unassumingyoungman:\"Forgiveme,\"hehadsaidwithafaintapologeticsmileandtakinguphiscap,\"Iamgoingouttoorderupsomewine。ButImustfirstsendatelegramtomyfolkathome。
Isay!Won’ttheoldpeoplemakeitafestivetimefortheneighboursfortwentymilesaroundourplace。\"
Razumovthoughttherewasnothingofthatsortforhimintheworld。Hissuccesswouldmattertonoone。Buthefeltnobitternessagainstthenoblemanhisprotector,whowasnotaprovincialmagnateaswasgenerallysupposed。HewasinfactnobodylessthanPrinceK———,onceagreatandsplendidfigureintheworldandnow,hisdaybeingover,aSenatorandagoutyinvalid,livinginastillsplendidbutmoredomesticmanner。Hehadsomeyoungchildrenandawifeasaristocraticandproudashimself。
InallhislifeRazumovwasallowedonlyoncetocomeintopersonalcontactwiththePrince。
Ithadtheairofachancemeetinginthelittleattorney’soffice。OnedayRazumov,cominginbyappointment,foundastrangerstandingthere——atall,aristocratic—lookingPersonagewithsilky,greysidewhiskers。Thebald—headed,slylittlelawyer—fellowcalledout,\"Comein——comein,Mr。Razumov,\"withasortofironicheartiness。Thenturningdeferentiallytothestrangerwiththegrandair,\"Awardofmine,your,Excellency。
OneofthemostpromisingstudentsofhisfacultyintheSt。
PetersburgUniversity。\"
TohisintensesurpriseRazumovsawawhiteshapelyhandextendedtohim。Hetookitingreatconfusion(itwassoftandpassive)
andheardatthesametimeacondescendingmurmurinwhichhecaughtonlythewords\"Satisfactory\"and\"Persevere。\"Butthemostamazingthingofallwastofeelsuddenlyadistinctpressureofthewhiteshapelyhandjustbeforeitwaswithdrawn:
alightpressurelikeasecretsign。Theemotionofitwasterrible。Razumov’sheartseemedtoleapintohisthroat。Whenheraisedhiseyesthearistocraticpersonage,motioningthelittlelawyeraside,hadopenedthedoorandwasgoingout。
Theattorneyrummagedamongstthepapersonhisdeskforatime。
\"Doyouknowwhothatwas?\"heaskedsuddenly。
Razumov,whoseheartwasthumpinghardyet,shookhisheadinsilence。
\"ThatwasPrinceK———。Youwonderwhathecouldbedoingintheholeofapoorlegalratlikemyself——eh?Theseawfullygreatpeoplehavetheirsentimentalcuriositieslikecommonsinners。ButifIwereyou,KiryloSidorovitch,\"hecontinued,leeringandlayingapeculiaremphasisonthepatronymic,\"
Iwouldn’tboastatlargeoftheintroduction。Itwouldnotbeprudent,KiryloSidorovitch。Ohdearno!Itwouldbeinfactdangerousforyourfuture。\"
Theyoungman’searsburnedlikefire;hissightwasdim。
\"Thatman!\"Razumovwassayingtohimself。\"He!\"
HenceforthitwasbythismonosyllablethatMr。Razumovgotintothehabitofreferringmentallytothestrangerwithgreysilkyside—whiskers。Fromthattimetoo,whenwalkinginthemorefashionablequarters,henotedwithinterestthemagnificenthorsesandcarriageswithPrinceK———’sliveriesonthebox。
OncehesawthePrincessgetout——shewasshopping——followedbytwogirls,ofwhichonewasnearlyaheadtallerthantheother。
TheirfairhairhungloosedowntheirbacksintheEnglishstyle;
theyhadmerryeyes,theircoats,muffs,andlittlefurcapswereexactlyalike,andtheircheeksandnosesweretingedacheerfulpinkbythefrost。Theycrossedthepavementinfrontofhim,andRazumovwentonhiswaysmilingshylytohimself。\"His\"
daughters。Theyresembled\"Him。\"Theyoungmanfeltaglowofwarmfriendlinesstowardsthesegirlswhowouldneverknowofhisexistence。PresentlytheywouldmarryGeneralsorKammerherrsandhavegirlsandboysoftheirown,whoperhapswouldbeawareofhimasacelebratedoldprofessor,decorated,possiblyaPrivyCouncillor,oneofthegloriesofRussia——nothingmore!
Butacelebratedprofessorwasasomebody。DistinctionwouldconvertthelabelRazumovintoanhonouredname。TherewasnothingstrangeinthestudentRazumov’swishfordistinction。Aman’sreallifeisthataccordedtohiminthethoughtsofothermenbyreasonofrespectornaturallove。
ReturninghomeonthedayoftheattemptonMr。deP———’slifeRazumovresolvedtohaveagoodtryforthesilvermedal。
Climbingslowlythefourflightsofthedark,dirtystaircaseinthehousewherehehadhislodgings,hefeltconfidentofsuccess。Thewinner’snamewouldbepublishedinthepapersonNewYear’sDay。Andatthethoughtthat\"He\"wouldmostprobablyreaditthere,Razumovstoppedshortonthestairsforaninstant,thenwentonsmilingfaintlyathisownemotion。\"Thisisbutashadow,\"hesaidtohimself,\"butthemedalisasolidbeginning。\"
Withthoseideasofindustryinhisheadthewarmthofhisroomwasagreeableandencouraging。\"Ishallputinfourhoursofgoodwork,\"hethought。Butnosoonerhadheclosedthedoorthanhewashorriblystartled。Allblackagainsttheusualtallstoveofwhitetilesgleaminginthedusk,stoodastrangefigure,wearingaskirted,close—fitting,brownclothcoatstrappedroundthewaist,inlongboots,andwithalittleAstrakhancaponitshead。Itloomedlitheandmartial。Razumovwasutterlyconfounded。Itwasonlywhenthefigureadvancingtwopacesaskedinanuntroubled,gravevoiceiftheouterdoorwasclosedthatheregainedhispowerofspeech。
\"Haldin!……VictorVictorovitch!……Isthatyou?……Yes。Theouterdoorisshutallright。Butthisisindeedunexpected。\"
VictorHaldin,astudentolderthanmostofhiscontemporariesattheUniversity,wasnotoneoftheindustriousset。Hewashardlyeverseenatlectures;theauthoritieshadmarkedhimas\"restless\"and\"unsound\"——verybadnotes。Buthehadagreatpersonalprestigewithhiscomradesandinfluencedtheirthoughts。Razumovhadneverbeenintimatewithhim。Theyhadmetfromtimetotimeatgatheringsinotherstudents’houses。
Theyhadevenhadadiscussiontogether——oneofthosediscussionsonfirstprinciplesdeartothesanguinemindsofyouth。
Razumovwishedthemanhadchosensomeothertimetocomeforachat。Hefeltingoodtrimtotackletheprizeessay。ButasHaldincouldnotbeslightinglydismissedRazumovadoptedthetoneofhospitality,askinghimtositdownandsmoke。
\"KiryloSidorovitch,\"saidtheother,flingingoffhiscap,\"wearenotperhapsinexactlythesamecamp。Yourjudgmentismorephilosophical。Youareamanoffewwords,butIhaven’tmetanybodywhodaredtodoubtthegenerosityofyoursentiments。
Thereisasolidityaboutyourcharacterwhichcannotexistwithoutcourage。
Razumovfeltflatteredandbegantomurmurshylysomethingaboutbeingverygladofhisgoodopinion,whenHaldinraisedhishand。
\"ThatiswhatIwassayingtomyself,\"hecontinued,\"asIdodgedinthewoodyarddownbytheriver—side。’Hehasastrongcharacterthisyoungman,’Isaidtomyself。’Hedoesnotthrowhissoultothewinds。’Yourreservehasalwaysfascinatedme,KiryloSiderovitch。SoItriedtorememberyouraddress。Butlookhere——itwasapieceofluck。Yourdvornikwasawayfromthegatetalkingtoasleigh—driverontheothersideofthestreet。Imetnooneonthestairs,notasoul。AsIcameuptoyourfloorIcaughtsightofyourlandladycomingoutofyourrooms。Butshedidnotseeme。Shecrossedthelandingtoherownside,andthenIslippedin。Ihavebeenheretwohoursexpectingyoutocomeineverymoment。
Razumovhadlistenedinastonishment;butbeforehecouldopenhismouthHaldinadded,speakingdeliberately,\"ItwasI
whoremoveddeP———thismorning。\"Razumovkeptdownacryofdismay。Thesentimentofhislifebeingutterlyruinedbythiscontactwithsuchacrimeexpresseditselfquaintlybyasortofhalf—derisivementalexclamation,\"Theregoesmysilvermedal!\"
Haldincontinuedafterwaitingawhile——
\"Yousaynothing,KiryloSidorovitch!Iunderstandyoursilence。
Tobesure,IcannotexpectyouwithyourfrigidEnglishmannertoembraceme。Butnevermindyourmanners。Youhaveenoughhearttohaveheardthesoundofweepingandgnashingofteeththismanraisedintheland。Thatwouldbeenoughtogetoveranyphilosophicalhopes。Hewasuprootingthetenderplant。Hehadtobestopped。Hewasadangerousman——aconvincedman。
Threemoreyearsofhisworkwouldhaveputusbackfiftyyearsintobondage——andlookatalltheliveswasted,atallthesoulslostinthattime。\"
Hiscurt,self—confidentvoicesuddenlylostitsringanditwasinadulltonethatheadded,\"Yes,brother,Ihavekilledhim。
It’swearywork。\"
Razumovhadsunkintoachair。Everymomentheexpectedacrowdofpolicementorushin。Theremusthavebeenthousandsofthemoutlookingforthatmanwalkingupanddowninhisroom。Haldinwastalkingagaininarestrained,steadyvoice。Nowandthenheflourishedanarm,slowly,withoutexcitement。
HetoldRazumovhowhehadbroodedforayear;howhehadnotsleptproperlyforweeks。Heand\"Another\"hadawarningoftheMinister’smovementsfrom\"acertainperson\"latetheeveningbefore。HeandthatAnother\"preparedtheir\"engines\"and\"resolvedtohavenosleeptill\"thedeed\"wasdone。Theywalkedthestreetsunderthefallingsnowwiththe\"engines\"
onthem,exchangingnotawordthelivelongnight。Whentheyhappenedtomeetapolicepatroltheytookeachotherbythearmandpretendedtobeacoupleofpeasantsonthespree。
Theyreeledandtalkedindrunkenhoarsevoices。Exceptforthesestrangeoutbreakstheykeptsilence,movingonceaselessly。
Theirplanshadbeenpreviouslyarranged。Atdaybreaktheymadetheirwaytothespotwhichtheyknewthesledgemustpass。
Whenitappearedinsighttheyexchangedamutteredgood—byeandseparated。The\"other\"remainedatthecorner,Haldintookupapositionalittlefartherupthestreet……
Afterthrowinghis\"engine\"heranoffandinamomentwasovertakenbythepanic—struckpeopleflyingawayfromthespotafterthesecondexplosion。Theywerewildwithterror。Hewasjostledonceortwice。Hesloweddownfortherushtopasshimandthenturnedtotheleftintoanarrowstreet。Therehewasalone。
Hemarvelledatthisimmediateescape。Theworkwasdone。Hecouldhardlybelieveit。Hefoughtwithanalmostirresistiblelongingtoliedownonthepavementandsleep。Butthissortoffaintness——adrowsyfaintness——passedoffquickly。Hewalkedfaster,makinghiswaytooneofthepoorerpartsofthetowninordertolookupZiemianitch。
ThisZiemianitch,Razumovunderstood,wasasortoftown—peasantwhohadgoton;ownerofasmallnumberofsledgesandhorsesforhire。Haldinpausedinhisnarrativetoexclaim——
\"Abrightspirit!Ahardysoul!ThebestdriverinSt。Petersburg。
Hehasateamofthreehorsesthere……Ah!He’safellow!\"
Thismanhaddeclaredhimselfwillingtotakeoutsafely,atanytime,oneortwopersonstothesecondorthirdrailwaystationononeofthesouthernlines。Buttherehadbeennotimetowarnhimthenightbefore。Hisusualhauntseemedtobealow—classeating—houseontheoutskirtsofthetown。WhenHaldingottherethemanwasnottobefound。Hewasnotexpectedtoturnupagaintilltheevening。Haldinwanderedawayrestlessly。
Hesawthegateofawoodyardopenandwentintogetoutofthewindwhichsweptthebleakbroadthoroughfare。Thegreatrectangularpilesofcutwoodloadedwithsnowresembledthehutsofavillage。Atfirstthewatchmanwhodiscoveredhimcrouchingamongstthemtalkedinafriendlymanner。Hewasadried—upoldmanwearingtworaggedarmycoatsoneovertheother;hiswizenedlittleface,tiedupunderthejawandovertheearsinadirtyredhandkerchief,lookedcomical。Presentlyhegrewsulky,andthenallatoncewithoutrhymeorreasonbegantoshoutfuriously。
\"Aren’tyouevergoingtoclearoutofthis,youloafer?Weknowallaboutfactoryhandsofyoursort。Abig,strong,youngchap!
Youaren’tevendrunk。Whatdoyouwanthere?Youdon’tfrightenus。
Takeyourselfandyouruglyeyesaway。\"
HaldinstoppedbeforethesittingRazumov。Hissupplefigure,withthewhiteforeheadabovewhichthefairhairstoodstraightup,hadanaspectofloftydaring。
\"Hedidnotlikemyeyes,\"hesaid。\"Andso……hereIam。\"
Razumovmadeanefforttospeakcalmly。
\"Butpardonme,VictorVictorovitch。Weknoweachothersolittle……Idon’tseewhyyou……\"
\"Confidence,\"saidHaldin。
ThiswordsealedRazumov’slipsasifahandhadbeenclappedonhismouth。Hisbrainseethedwitharguments\"Andso——hereyouare,\"hemutteredthroughhisteeth。
Theotherdidnotdetectthetoneofanger。Neversuspectedit。
\"Yes。AndnobodyknowsIamhere。Youarethelastpersonthatcouldbesuspected——shouldIgetcaught。That’sanadvantage,yousee。Andthen——speakingtoasuperiormindlikeyoursIcanwellsayallthetruth。Itoccurredtomethatyou——youhavenoonebelongingtoyou——noties,noonetosufferforitifthiscameoutbysomemeans。TherehavebeenenoughruinedRussianhomesasitis。ButIdon’tseehowmypassagethroughyourroomscanbeeverknown。IfIshouldbegotholdof,I’llknowhowtokeepsilent——nomatterwhattheymaybepleasedtodotome,\"
headdedgrimly。
HebegantowalkagainwhileRazumovsatstillappalled。
\"Youthoughtthat————\"hefalteredoutalmostsickwithindignation。
\"Yes,Razumov。Yes,brother。Somedayyoushallhelptobuild。
YousupposethatIamaterrorist,now——adestructorofwhatis,Butconsiderthatthetruedestroyersaretheywhodestroythespiritofprogressandtruth,nottheavengerswhomerelykillthebodiesofthepersecutorsofhumandignity。Menlikemearenecessarytomakeroomforself—contained,thinkingmenlikeyou。
Well,wehavemadethesacrificeofourlives,butallthesameI
wanttoescapeifitcanbedone。ItisnotmylifeIwanttosave,butmypowertodo。Iwon’tliveidle。Ohno!Don’tmakeanymistake,Razumov。Menlikemearerare。And,besides,anexamplelikethisismoreawfultooppressorswhentheperpetratorvanisheswithoutatrace。Theysitintheirofficesandpalacesandquake。AllIwantyoutodoistohelpmetovanish。Nogreatmatterthat。OnlytogobyandbyandseeZiemianitchformeatthatplacewhereIwentthismorning。
Justtellhim,’Hewhomyouknowwantsawell—horsedsledgetopulluphalfanhouraftermidnightattheseventhlamp—postontheleftcountingfromtheupperendofKarabelnaya。Ifnobodygetsin,thesledgeistorunroundablockortwo,soastocomebackpastthesamespotintenminutes’time。’\"
Razumovwonderedwhyhehadnotcutshortthattalkandtoldthismantogoawaylongbefore。Wasitweaknessorwhat?
Heconcludedthatitwasasoundinstinct。Haldinmusthavebeenseen。Itwasimpossiblethatsomepeopleshouldnothavenoticedthefaceandappearanceofthemanwhothrewthesecondbomb。
Haldinwasanoticeableperson。Thepoliceintheirthousandsmusthavehadhisdescriptionwithinthehour。Witheverymomentthedangergrew。Sentouttowanderinthestreetshecouldnotescapebeingcaughtintheend。
Thepolicewouldverysoonfindoutallabouthim。Theywouldsetaboutdiscoveringaconspiracy。EverybodyHaldinhadeverknownwouldbeinthegreatestdanger。Unguardedexpressions,littlefactsinthemselvesinnocentwouldbecountedforcrimes。
Razumovrememberedcertainwordshesaid,thespeecheshehadlistenedto,theharmlessgatheringshehadattended——itwasalmostimpossibleforastudenttokeepoutofthatsortofthing,withoutbecomingsuspecttohiscomrades。
Razumovsawhimselfshutupinafortress,worried,badgered,perhapsill—used。Hesawhimselfdeportedbyanadministrativeorder,hislifebroken,ruined,androbbedofallhope。Hesawhimself——atbest——leadingamiserableexistenceunderpolicesupervision,insomesmall,farawayprovincialtown,withoutfriendstoassisthisnecessitiesoreventakeanystepstoalleviatehislot——asothershad。Othershadfathers,mothers,brothers,relations,connexions,tomoveheavenandearthontheirbehalf——hehadnoone。Theveryofficialsthatsentencedhimsomemorningwouldforgethisexistencebeforesunset。
Hesawhisyouthpassawayfromhiminmiseryandhalfstarvation——hisstrengthgiveway,hismindbecomeanabjectthing。Hesawhimselfcreeping,brokendownandshabby,aboutthestreets——dyingunattendedinsomefilthyholeofaroom,oronthesordidbedofaGovernmenthospital。
Heshuddered。Thenthepeaceofbittercalmnesscameoverhim。
Itwasbesttokeepthismanoutofthestreetstillhecouldbegotridofwithsomechanceofescaping。Thatwasthebestthatcouldbedone。Razumov,ofcourse,feltthesafetyofhislonelyexistencetobepermanentlyendangered。Thisevening’sdoingscouldturnupagainsthimatanytimeaslongasthismanlivedandthepresentinstitutionsendured。Theyappearedtohimrationalandindestructibleatthatmoment。Theyhadaforceofharmony——incontrastwiththehorriblediscordofthisman’spresence。Hehatedtheman。Hesaidquietly——
\"Yes,ofcourse,Iwillgo。’Youmustgivemeprecisedirections,andfortherest——dependonme。\"
\"Ah!Youareafellow!Collected——coolasacucumber。AregularEnglishman。Wheredidyougetyoursoulfrom?Therearen’tmanylikeyou。Lookhere,brother!Menlikemeleavenoposterity,buttheirsoulsarenotlost。Noman’ssouliseverlost。Itworksforitself——orelsewherewouldbethesenseofself—sacrifice,ofmartyrdom,ofconviction,offaith——thelaboursofthesoul?WhatwillbecomeofmysoulwhenIdieinthewayImustdie——soon——verysoonperhaps?Itshallnotperish。
Don’tmakeamistake,Razumov。Thisisnotmurder——itiswar,war。MyspiritshallgoonwarringinsomeRussianbodytillallfalsehoodissweptoutoftheworld。Themoderncivilizationisfalse,butanewrevelationshallcomeoutofRussia。Ha!yousaynothing。Youareasceptic。Irespectyourphilosophicalscepticism,Razumov,butdon’ttouchthesoul。TheRussiansoulthatlivesinallofus。Ithasafuture。Ithasamission,Itellyou,orelsewhyshouldIhavebeenmovedtodothis——reckless———likeabutcher——inthemiddleofalltheseinnocentpeople——scatteringdeath——I!I!……Iwouldn’thurtafly!\"
\"Notsoloud,\"warnedRazumovharshly。
Haldinsatdownabruptly,andleaninghisheadonhisfoldedarmsburstintotears。Heweptforalongtime。Theduskhaddeepenedintheroom。Razumov,motionlessinsombrewonder,listenedtothesobs。
Theotherraisedhishead,gotupandwithaneffortmasteredhisvoice。
\"Yes。Menlikemeleavenoposterity,\"herepeatedinasubduedtone。\"Ihaveasisterthough。She’swithmyoldmother——Ipersuadedthemtogoabroadthisyear——thankGod。
Notabadlittlegirlmysister。Shehasthemosttrustfuleyesofanyhumanbeingthateverwalkedthisearth。Shewillmarrywell,Ihope。Shemayhavechildren——sonsperhaps。Lookatme。
MyfatherwasaGovernmentofficialintheprovinces,Hehadalittlelandtoo。AsimpleservantofGod——atrueRussianinhisway。Hiswasthesoulofobedience。ButIamnotlikehim。TheysayIresemblemymother’seldestbrother,anofficer。Theyshothimin’28。UnderNicholas,youknow。Haven’tItoldyouthatthisiswar,war……ButGodofJustice!Thisiswearywork。\"
Razumov,inhischair,leaninghisheadonhishand,spokeasiffromthebottomofanabyss。
\"YoubelieveinGod,Haldin?\"
\"Thereyougocatchingatwordsthatarewrungfromone。Whatdoesitmatter?WhatwasittheEnglishmansaid:’Thereisadivinesoulinthings……’Deviltakehim——Idon’tremembernow。Buthespokethetruth。Whenthedayofyouthinkerscomesdon’tyouforgetwhat’sdivineintheRussiansoul——andthat’sresignation。Respectthatinyourintellectualrestlessnessanddon’tletyourarrogantwisdomspoilitsmessagetotheworld。I
amspeakingtoyounowlikeamanwitharoperoundhisneck。
WhatdoyouimagineIam?Abeinginrevolt?No。It’syouthinkerswhoareineverlastingrevolt。Iamoneoftheresigned。WhenthenecessityofthisheavyworkcametomeandI
understoodthatithadtobedone——whatdidIdo?DidIexult?
DidItakeprideinmypurpose?DidItrytoweighitsworthandconsequences?No!Iwasresigned。Ithought’God’swillbedone。’\"
HethrewhimselffulllengthonRazumov’sbedandputtingthebacksofhishandsoverhiseyesremainedperfectlymotionlessandsilent。Noteventhesoundofhisbreathingcouldbeheard。
ThedeadstillnessortheroomremainedundisturbedtillinthedarknessRazumovsaidgloomily——
\"Haldin。\"
\"Yes,\"answeredtheotherreadily,quiteinvisiblenowonthebedandwithouttheslighteststir。
\"Isn’tittimeformetostart?\"
\"Yes,brother。\"Theotherwasheard,lyingstillinthedarknessasthoughheweretalkinginhissleep。\"Thetimehascometoputfatetothetest。\"
Hepaused,thengaveafewluciddirectionsinthequietimpersonalvoiceofamaninatrance。Razumovmadereadywithoutawordofanswer。Ashewasleavingtheroomthevoiceonthebedsaidafterhim——
\"GowithGod,thousilentsoul。\"
Onthelanding,movingsoftly,Razumovlockedthedoorandputthekeyinhispocket。
II
ThewordsandeventsofthateveningmusthavebeengravenasifwithasteeltoolonMr。Razumov’sbrainsincehewasabletowritehisrelationwithsuchfullnessandprecisionagoodmanymonthsafterwards。
Therecordofthethoughtswhichassailedhiminthestreetisevenmoreminuteandabundant。TheyseemtohaverusheduponhimwiththegreaterfreedombecausehisthinkingpowerswerenolongercrushedbyHaldin’spresence——theappallingpresenceofagreatcrimeandthestunningforceofagreatfanaticism。OnlookingthroughthepagesofMr。Razumov’sdiaryIownthata\"rushofthoughts\"isnotanadequateimage。
Themoreadequatedescriptionwouldbeatumultofthoughts——thefaithfulreflectionofthestateofhisfeelings。Thethoughtsinthemselveswerenotnumerous——theywerelikethethoughtsofmosthumanbeings,fewandsimple——buttheycannotbereproducedhereinalltheirexclamatoryrepetitionswhichwentoninanendlessandwearyturmoil——forthewalkwaslong。
IftotheWesternreadertheyappearshocking,inappropriate,orevenimproper,itmustberememberedthatastothefirstthismaybetheeffectofmycrudestatement。FortherestIwillonlyremarkherethatthisisnotastoryoftheWestofEurope。
NationsitmaybehavefashionedtheirGovernments,buttheGovernmentshavepaidthembackinthesamecoin。ItisunthinkablethatanyyoungEnglishmanshouldfindhimselfinRazumov’ssituation。Thisbeingsoitwouldbeavainenterprisetoimaginewhathewouldthink。TheonlysafesurmisetomakeisthathewouldnotthinkasMr。Razumovthoughtatthiscrisisofhisfate。Hewouldnothaveanhereditaryandpersonalknowledgeorthemeansbywhichhistoricalautocracyrepressesideas,guardsitspower,anddefendsitsexistence。Byanactofmentalextravagancehemightimaginehimselfarbitrarilythrownintoprison,butitwouldneveroccurtohimunlessheweredelirious(andperhapsnoteventhen)thathecouldbebeatenwithwhipsasapracticalmeasureeitherofinvestigationorofpunishment。
ThisisbutacrudeandobviousexampleofthedifferentconditionsofWesternthought。Idon’tknowthatthisdangeroccurred,speciallytoMr。Razumov。Nodoubtitenteredunconsciouslyintothegeneraldreadandthegeneralappallingnessofthiscrisis。Razumov,ashasbeenseen,wasawareofmoresubtlewaysinwhichanindividualmaybeundonebytheproceedingsofadespoticGovernment。AsimpleexpulsionfromtheUniversity(theveryleastthatcouldhappentohim),withanimpossibilitytocontinuehisstudiesanywhere,wasenoughtoruinutterlyayoungmandependingentirelyuponthedevelopmentofhisnaturalabilitiesforhisplaceintheworld。
HewasaRussian:andforhimtobeimplicatedmeantsimplysinkingintothelowestsocialdepthsamongstthehopelessandthedestitute——thenightbirdsofthecity。
ThepeculiarcircumstancesofRazumov’sparentage,orratherofhislackofparentage,shouldbetakenintotheaccountofhisthoughts。Andherememberedthemtoo。HehadbeenlatelyremindedoftheminapeculiarlyatrociouswaybythisfatalHaldin。\"BecauseIhaven’tthat,musteverythingelsebetakenawayfromme?\"hethought。
Henervedhimselfforanotherefforttogoon。Alongtheroadwaysledgesglidedphantom—likeandjinglingthroughaflutteringwhitenessontheblackfaceofthenight。\"Foritisacrime,\"
hewassayingtohimself。\"Amurderisamurder。Though,ofcourse,somesortofliberalinstitutions……\"
Afeelingofhorriblesicknesscameoverhim。\"Imustbecourageous,\"heexhortedhimselfmentally。Allhisstrengthwassuddenlygoneasiftakenoutbyahand。Thenbyamightyeffortofwillitcamebackbecausehewasafraidoffaintinginthestreetandbeingpickedupbythepolicewiththekeyofhislodgingsinhispocket。TheywouldfindHaldinthere,andthen,indeed,hewouldbeundone。
Strangelyenoughitwasthisfearwhichseemstohavekepthimuptotheend。Thepassers—bywererare。Theycameuponhimsuddenly,loomingupblackinthesnowflakescloseby,thenvanishingallatonce—withoutfootfalls。
Itwasthequarteroftheverypoor。Razumovnoticedanelderlywomantiedupinraggedshawls。Underthestreetlampsheseemedabeggaroffduty。Shewalkedleisurelyintheblizzardasthoughshehadnohometohurryto,shehuggedunderonearmaroundloafofblackbreadwithanairofguardingapricelessbooty:
andRazumovavertinghisglanceenviedherthepeaceofhermindandtheserenityofherfate。
ToonereadingMr。Razumov’snarrativeitisreallyawonderhowhemanagedtokeepgoingashedidalongoneinterminablestreetafteranotheronpavementsthatweregraduallybecomingblockedwithsnow。ItwasthethoughtofHaldinlockedupinhisroomsandthedesperatedesiretogetridofhispresencewhichdrovehimforward。Norationaldeterminationhadanypartinhisexertions。Thus,whenonarrivingattheloweating—househeheardthatthemanofhorses,Ziemianitch,wasnotthere,hecouldonlystarestupidly。
Thewaiter,awild—hairedyouthintarredbootsandapinkshirt,exclaimed,uncoveringhispalegumsinasillygrin,thatZiemianitchhadgothisskinfulearlyintheafternoonandhadgoneawaywithabottleundereacharmtokeepitupamongstthehorses——hesupposed。
Theownerofthevileden,abonyshortmaninadirtyclothcaftancomingdowntohisheels,stoodby,hishandstuckedintohisbelt,andnoddedconfirmation。
Thereekofspirits,thegreasyrancidsteamoffoodgotRazumovbythethroat。Hestruckatablewithhisclenchedhandandshoutedviolently——
\"Youlie。\"
Blearyunwashedfaceswereturnedtohisdirection。Amild—eyedraggedtrampdrinkingteaatthenexttablemovedfartheraway。
Amurmurofwonderarosewithanundertoneofuneasiness。A
laughwasheardtoo,andanexclamation,\"There!there!\"
jeeringlysoothing。Thewaiterlookedallroundandannouncedtotheroom——
\"Thegentlemanwon’tbelievethatZiemianitchisdrunk。\"
>Fromadistantcornerahoarsevoicebelongingtoahorrible,nondescript,shaggybeingwithablackfacelikethemuzzleofabeargruntedangrily——
\"Thecurseddriverofthieves。Whatdowewantwithhisgentlemenhere?Weareallhonestfolkinthisplace。\"
Razumov,bitinghisliptillbloodcametokeephimselffromburstingintoimprecations,followedtheowneroftheden,who,whispering\"Comealong,littlefather,\"ledhimintoatinyholeofaplacebehindthewoodencounter,whenceproceededasoundofsplashing。Awetandbedraggledcreature,asortofsexlessandshiveringscarecrow,washedglassesinthere,bendingoverawoodentubbythelightofatallowdip。
\"Yes,littlefather,\"themaninthelongcaftansaidplaintively。Hehadabrown,cunninglittleface,athingreyishbeard。Tryingtolightatinlanternhehuggedittohisbreastandtalkedgarrulouslythewhile。
HewouldshowZiemianitchtothegentlemantoprovetherewerenoliestold。Andhewouldshowhimdrunk。Hiswoman,itseems,ranawayfromhimlastnight。\"Suchahagshewas!Thin!
Pfui!\"Hespat。Theywerealwaysrunningawayfromthatdriverofthedevil——andhesixtyyearsoldtoo;couldnevergetusedtoit。ButeachheartknowssorrowafteritsownkindandZiemianitchwasabornfoolallhisdays。Andthenhewouldflytothebottle。\"’Whocouldbearlifeinourlandwithoutthebottle?’hesays。AproperRussianman——thelittlepig……
Bepleasedtofollowme。\"
Razumovcrossedaquadrangleofdeepsnowenclosedbetweenhighwallswithinnumerablewindows。Hereandthereadimyellowlighthungwithinthefour—squaremassofdarkness。Thehousewasanenormousslum,ahiveofhumanvermin,amonumentalabodeofmiserytoweringonthevergeofstarvationanddespair。
Inacornerthegroundslopedsharplydown,andRazumovfollowedthelightofthelanternthroughasmalldoorwayintoalongcavernousplacelikeaneglectedsubterraneanbyre。Deepwithin,threeshaggylittlehorsestieduptoringshungtheirheadstogether,motionlessandshadowyinthedimlightofthelantern。
ItmusthavebeenthefamousteamofHaldin’sescape。Razumovpeeredfearfullyintothegloom。Hisguidepawedinthestrawwithhisfoot。
\"Hereheis。Ah!thelittlepigeon。AtrueRussianman。
’Noheavyheartsforme,’hesays。’Bringoutthebottleandtakeyouruglymugoutofmysight。’Ha!ha!ha!That’sthefellowheis。\"
Heheldthelanternoveraproneformofaman,apparentlyfullydressedforoutdoors。Hisheadwaslostinapointedclothhood。
Ontheothersideofaheapofstrawprotrudedapairoffeetinmonstrousthickboots。
\"Alwaysreadytodrive,\"commentedthekeeperoftheeating—house。\"AproperRussiandriverthat。Saintordevil,nightordayisallonetoZiemianitchwhenhisheartisfreefromsorrow。’Idon’taskwhoyouare,butwhereyouwanttogo,’hesays。HewoulddriveSatanhimselftohisownabodeandcomebackchirrupingtohishorses。ManyaonehehasdrivenwhoisclankinghischainsintheNertchinskminesbythistime。\"
Razumovshuddered。
\"Callhim,wakehimup,\"hefalteredout。
Theothersetdownhislight,steppedbackandlaunchedakickattheprostratesleeper。Themanshookattheimpactbutdidnotmove。Atthethirdkickhegruntedbutremainedinertasbefore。
Theeating—housekeeperdesistedandfetchedadeepsigh。
\"Youseeforyourselfhowitis。Wehavedonewhatwecanforyou。\"
Hepickedupthelantern。Theintenseblackspokesofshadowswungaboutinthecircleoflight。Aterriblefury——theblindrageofself—preservation——possessedRazumov。
\"Ah!Thevilebeast,\"hebellowedoutinanunearthlytonewhichmadethelanternjumpandtremble!\"Ishallwakeyou!
Giveme……Giveme……\"
Helookedroundwildly,seizedthehandleofastableforkandrushingforwardstruckattheprostratebodywithinarticulatecries。Afteratimehiscriesceased,andtherainofblowsfellinthestillnessandshadowsofthecellar—likestable。RazumovbelabouredZiemianitchwithaninsatiablefury,ingreatvolleysofsoundingthwacks。ExceptfortheviolentmovementsofRazumovnothingstirred,neitherthebeatenmannorthespoke—likeshadowsonthewalls。Andonlythesoundofblowswasheard。Itwasaweirdscene。
Suddenlytherewasasharpcrack。Thestickbrokeandhalfofitflewfarawayintothegloombeyondthelight。AtthesametimeZiemianitchsatup。AtthisRazumovbecameasmotionlessasthemanwiththelantern——onlyhisbreastheavedforairasifreadytoburst。
Somedullsensationofpainmusthavepenetratedatlasttheconsolingnightofdrunkennessenwrappingthe\"brightRussiansoul\"ofHaldin’senthusiasticpraise。ButZiemianitchevidentlysawnothing。Hiseyeballsblinkedallwhiteinthelightonce,twice——thenthegleamwentout。Foramomenthesatinthestrawwithclosedeyeswithastrangeairofwearymeditation,thenfelloverslowlyonhissidewithoutmakingtheslightestsound。
Onlythestrawrustledalittle。Razumovstaredwildly,fightingforhisbreath。Afterasecondortwoheheardalightsnore。
Heflungfromhimthepieceofstickremaininginhisgrasp,andwentoffwithgreathastystrideswithoutlookingbackonce。
Aftergoingheedlesslyforsomefiftyyardsalongthestreethewalkedintoasnowdriftandwasuptohiskneesbeforehestopped。
Thisrecalledhimtohimself;andglancingabouthediscoveredhehadbeengoinginthewrongdirection。Heretracedhissteps,butnowatamoremoderatepace。Whenpassingbeforethehousehehadjustleftheflourishedhisfistatthesombrerefugeofmiseryandcrimerearingitssinisterbulkonthewhiteground。
Ithadanairofbrooding。Helethisarmfallbyhisside——discouraged。
Ziemianitch’spassionatesurrendertosorrowandconsolationhadbaffledhim。Thatwasthepeople。AtrueRussianman!Razumovwasgladhehadbeatenthatbrute——the\"brightsoul\"oftheother。Heretheywere:thepeopleandtheenthusiast。
Betweenthetwohewasdonefor。Betweenthedrunkennessofthepeasantincapableofactionandthedream—intoxicationoftheidealistincapableofperceivingthereasonofthings,andthetruecharacterofmen。Itwasasortofterriblechildishness。
Butchildrenhadtheirmasters。\"Ah!thestick,thestick,thesternhand,\"thoughtRazumov,longingforpowertohurtanddestroy。
Hewasgladhehadthrashedthatbrute。Thephysicalexertionhadlefthisbodyinacomfortableglow。Hismentalagitationtoowasclarifiedasifallthefeverishnesshadgoneoutofhiminafitofoutwardviolence。Togetherwiththepersistingsenseofterribledangerhewasconsciousnowofatranquil,unquenchablehate。
Hewalkedslowerandslower。Andindeed,consideringtheguesthehadinhisrooms,itwasnowonderhelingeredontheway。Itwaslikeharbouringapestilentialdiseasethatwouldnotperhapstakeyourlife,butwouldtakefromyouallthatmadelifeworthliving——asubtlepestthatwouldconvertearthintoahell。
Whatwashedoingnow?Lyingonthebedasifdead,withthebackofhishandsoverhiseyes?RazumovhadamorbidlyvividvisionofHaldinonhisbed——thewhitepillowhollowedbythehead,thelegsinlongboots,theupturnedfeet。Andinhisabhorrencehesaidtohimself,\"I’llkillhimwhenIgethome。\"
Butheknewverywellthatthatwasofnouse。Thecorpsehangingroundhisneckwouldbenearlyasfatalasthelivingman。Nothingshortofcompleteannihilationwoulddo。Andthatwasimpossible。Whatthen?Mustonekilloneselftoescapethisvisitation?
Razumov’sdespairwastooprofoundlytingedwithhatetoacceptthatissue。
Andyetitwasdespair——nothingless——atthethoughtofhavingtolivewithHaldinforanindefinitenumberofdaysinmortalalarmateverysound。Butperhapswhenheheardthatthis\"brightsoul\"ofZiemianitchsufferedfromadrunkeneclipsethefellowwouldtakehisinfernalresignationsomewhereelse。Andthatwasnotlikelyonthefaceofit。
Razumovthought:\"Iambeingcrushed——andIcan’tevenrunaway。\"
Othermenhadsomewhereacorneroftheearth——somelittlehouseintheprovinceswheretheyhadarighttotaketheirtroubles。