第3章

Razumovranforwardunsteadily,withparted,voicelesslips。Theouterdoorstoodopen。Staggeringoutonthelanding,heleanedfaroverthebanister。Gazingdownintothedeepblackshaftwithatinyglimmeringflameatthebottom,hetracedbyeartherapidspiraldescentofsomebodyrunningdownthestairsontiptoe。Itwasalight,swift,patteringsound,whichsankawayfromhimintothedepths:afleetingshadowpassedovertheglimmer——awinkofthetinyflame。Thenstillness。

Razumovhungover,breathingthecoldrawairtaintedbytheevilsmellsoftheuncleanstaircase。Allquiet。

Hewentbackintohisroomslowly,shuttingthedoorsafterhim。

Thepeacefulsteadylightofhisreading—lampshoneonthewatch。

Razumovstoodlookingdownatthelittlewhitedial。Itwantedyetthreeminutestomidnight。Hetookthewatchintohishandfumblingly。

\"Slow,\"hemuttered,andastrangefitofnervelessnesscameoverhim。Hiskneesshook,thewatchandchainslippedthroughhisfingersinaninstantandfellonthefloor。Hewassostartledthathenearlyfellhimself。Whenatlastheregainedenoughconfidenceinhislimbstostoopforitheheldittohisearatonce。Afterawhilehegrowled——

\"Stopped,\"andpausedforquitealongtimebeforehemutteredsourly——

\"It’sdone……Andnowtowork。\"

Hesatdown,reachedhaphazardforabook,openeditinmiddleandbegantoread;butaftergoingconscientiouslyovertwolineshelosthisholdontheprintcompletelyanddidnottrytoregainit。Hethought——

\"Therewastoacertaintyapoliceagentofsomesortwatchingthehouseacrossthestreet。\"

Heimaginedhimlurkinginadarkgateway,goggle—eyed,muffledupinacloaktothenoseandwithaGeneral’splumed,cockedhatonhishead。Thisabsurditymadehimstartinthechairconvulsively。

Heliterallyhadtoshakehisheadviolentlytogetridofit。

Themanwouldbedisguisedperhapsasapeasant……abeggar……

Perhapshewouldbejustbuttonedupinadarkovercoatandcarryingaloadedstick——ashifty—eyedrascal,smellingofrawonionsandspirits。

Thisevocationbroughtonpositivenausea。\"WhydoIwanttobotheraboutthis?\"thoughtRazumovwithdisgust。\"AmIagendarme?

Moreover,itisdone。\"

Hegotupingreatagitation。Itwasnotdone。Notyet。Nottillhalf—pasttwelve。Andthewatchhadstopped。Thisreducedhimtodespair。Impossibletoknowthetime!Theandladyandallthepeopleacrossthelandingwereasleep。Howcouldhegoand……Godknowswhattheywouldimagine,orhowmuchtheywouldguess。Hedarednotgointothestreetstofindout。

\"Iamasuspectnow。There’snouseshirkingthatfact,\"hesaidtohimselfbitterly。IfHaldinfromsomecauseoranothergavethemtheslipand。failedtoturnupintheKarabelnayathepolicewouldbeinvadinghislodging。Andifhewerenotinhecouldneverclearhimself。Never。Razumovlookedwildlyaboutasifforsomemeansofseizingupontimewhichseemedtohaveescapedhimaltogether。Hehadnever,asfarashecouldremember,heardthestrikingofthattownclockinhisroomsbeforethisnight。

Andhewasnotevensurenowwhetherhehadhearditreallyonthisnight。

Hewenttothewindowandstoodtherewithslightlybentheadonthewatchforthefaintsound。’IwillstayheretillIhearsomething,\"hesaidtohimself。Hestoodstill,hisearturnedtothepanes。Anatrociousachingnumbnesswithshootingpainsinhisbackandlegstorturedhim。Hedidnotbudge。Hismindhoveredonthebordersofdelirium。Heheardhimselfsuddenlysaying,\"Iconfess,\"asapersonmightdoontherack。\"Iamontherack,\"hethought。Hefeltreadytoswoon。Thefaintdeepboomofthedistantclockseemedtoexplodeinhishead——hehearditsoclearly……One!

IfHaldinhadnotturnedupthepolicewouldhavebeenalreadyhereransackingthehouse。Nosoundreachedhim。Thistimeitwasdone。

Hedraggedhimselfpainfullytothetableanddroppedintothechair。Heflungthebookawayandtookasquaresheetofpaper。

Itwaslikethepileofsheetscoveredwithhisneatminutehandwriting,onlyblank。Hetookapenbrusquelyanddippeditwithavaguenotionofgoingonwiththewritingofhisessay——buthispenremainedpoisedoverthesheet。Ithungthereforsometimebeforeitcamedownandformedlongscrawlyletters。

Still—facedandhislipssethard,Razumovbegantowrite。Whenhewrotealargehandhisneatwritinglostitscharacteraltogether——becameunsteady,almostchildish。Hewrotefivelinesoneundertheother。

HistorynotTheory。

PatriotismnotInternationalism。

EvolutionnotRevolution。

DirectionnotDestruction。

UnitynotDisruption。

Hegazedatthemdully。ThenhiseyesstrayedtothebedandreInajnedfixedthereforagoodmanyminutes,whilehisrighthandgropedalloverthetableforthepenknife。

Heroseatlast,andwalkingupwithmeasuredstepsstabbedthepaperwiththepenknifetothelathandplasterwallattheheadofthebed。Thisdonehesteppedbackapaceandflourishedhishandwithaglanceroundtheroom。

Afterthatheneverlookedagainatthebed。Hetookhisbigcloakdownfromitspegand,wrappinghimselfupclosely,wenttoliedownonthehardhorse—hairsofaattheothersideofhisroom。Aleadensleepclosedhiseyelidsatonce。SeveraltimesthatnighthewokeupshiveringfromadreamofwalkingthroughdriftsofsnowinaRussiawherehewasascompletelyaloneasanybetrayedautocratcouldbe;animmense,wintryRussiawhich,somehow,hisviewcouldembraceinallitsenormousexpanseasifitwereamap。Butaftereachshudderingstarthisheavyeyelidsfelloverhisglazedeyesandhesleptagain。

III

ApproachingthispartofMr。Razumov’sstory,mymind,thedecentmindofanoldteacheroflanguages,feelsmoreandmorethedifficultyofthetask。

Thetaskisnotintruththewritinginthenarrativeforma_precis_ofastrangehumandocument,buttherendering——I

perceiveitnowclearly——ofthemoralconditionsrulingoveralargeportionofthisearth’ssurface;conditionsnoteasilytobeunderstood,muchlessdiscoveredinthelimitsofastory,tillsomekey—wordisfound;awordthatcouldstandatthebackofallthewordscoveringthepages;awordwhich,ifnottruthitself,mayperchanceholdtruthenoughtohelpthemoraldiscoverywhichshouldbetheobjectofeverytale。

IturnoverforthehundredthtimetheleavesofMr。Razumov’srecord,Ilayitaside,Itakeupthepen——andthepenbeingreadyforitsofficeofsettingdownblackonwhiteIhesitate。Forthewordthatpersistsincreepingunderitspointisnootherwordthan\"cynicism。\"

ForthatisthemarkofRussianautocracyandofRussianrevolt。

Initsprideofnumbers,initsstrangepretensionsofsanctity,andinthesecretreadinesstoabaseitselfinsuffering,thespiritofRussiaisthespiritofcynicism。Itinformsthedeclarationsofherstatesmen,thetheoriesofherrevolutionists,andthemysticvaticinationsofprophetstothepointofmakingfreedomlooklikeaformofdebauch,andtheChristianvirtuesthemselvesappearactuallyindecent……

ButImustapologizeforthedigression。ItproceedsfromtheconsiderationofthecoursetakenbythestoryofMr。Razumovafterhisconservativeconvictions,dilutedinavagueliberalismnaturaltotheardourofhisage,hadbecomecrystallizedbytheshockofhiscontactwithHaldin。

Razumovwokeupforthetenthtimeperhapswithaheavyshiver。

Seeingthelightofdayinhiswindow,heresistedtheinclinationtolayhimselfdownagain。Hedidnotrememberanything,buthedidnotthinkitstrangetofindhimselfonthesofainhiscloakandchilledtothebone。Thelightcomingthroughthewindowseemedstrangelycheerless,containingnopromiseasthelightofeachnewdayshouldforayoungman。Itwastheawakeningofamanmortallyill,orofamanninetyyearsold。Helookedatthelampwhichhadburntitselfout。Itstoodthere,theextinguishedbeaconofhislabours,acoldobjectofbrassandporcelain,amongstthescatteredpagesofhisnotesandsmallpilesofbooks——amerelitterofblackenedpaper——deadmatter——withoutsignificanceorinterest。

Hegotonhisfeet,anddivestinghimselfofhiscloakhungitonthepeg,goingthroughallthemotionsmechanically。Anincredibledullness,aditch—waterstagnationwassensibletohisperceptionsasthoughlifehadwithdrawnitselffromallthingsandevenfromhisownthoughts。Therewasnotasoundinthehouse。

Turningawayfromthepeg,hethoughtinthatsamelifelessmannerthatitmustbeveryearlyyet;butwhenhelookedatthewatchonhistablehesawbothhandsarrestedattwelveo’clock。

\"Ah!yes,\"hemumbledtohimself,andasifbeginningtogetrousedalittlehetookasurveyofhisroom。Thepaperstabbedtothewallarrestedhisattention。Heeyeditfromthedistancewithoutapprovalorperplexity;butwhenheheardtheservant—girlbeginningtobustleaboutintheouterroomwiththe_samovar_forhismorningtea,hewalkeduptoitandtookitdownwithanairofprofoundindifference。

Whiledoingthisheglanceddownatthebedonwhichhehadnotsleptthatnight。ThehollowinthepillowmadebytheweightofHaldin’sheadwasverynoticeable。

Evenhisangeratthissignoftheman’spassagewasdull。Hedidnottrytonurseitintolife。Hedidnothingallthatday;

heneglectedeventobrushhishair。Theideaofgoingoutneveroccurredtohim——andifhedidnotstartaconnectedtrainofthoughtitwasnotbecausehewasunabletothink。Itwasbecausehewasnotinterestedenough。

Heyawnedfrequently。Hedranklargequantitiesoftea,hewalkedaboutaimlessly,andwhenhesatdownhedidnotbudgeforalongtime。Hespentsometimedrummingonthewindowwithhisfinger—tipsquietly。Inhislistlesswanderingsroundaboutthetablehecaughtsightofhisownfaceinthelooking—glassandthatarrestedhim。Theeyeswhichreturnedhisstarewerethemostunhappyeyeshehadeverseen。Andthiswasthefirstthingwhichdisturbedthementalstagnationofthatday。

Hewasnotaffectedpersonally。Hemerelythoughtthatlifewithouthappinessisimpossible。Whatwashappiness?Heyawnedandwentonshufflingaboutandaboutbetweenthewallsofhisroom。Lookingforwardwashappiness——that’sall——nothingmore。

Tolookforwardtothegratificationofsomedesire,tothegratificationofsomepassion,love,ambition,hate——hatetooindubitably。Loveandhate。Andtoescapethedangersofexistence,tolivewithoutfear,wasalsohappiness。Therewasnothingelse。Absenceoffear——lookingforward。\"Oh!themiserablelotofhumanity!\"heexclaimedmentally;andaddedatonceinhisthought,\"Ioughttobehappyenoughasfarasthatgoes。\"Buthewasnotexcitedbythatassurance。Onthecontrary,heyawnedagainashehadbeenyawningallday。Hewasmildlysurprisedtodiscoverhimselfbeingovertakenbynight。

Theroomgrewdarkswiftlythoughtimehadseemedtostandstill。

Howwasitthathehadnotnoticedthepassingofthatday?Ofcourse,itwasthewatchbeingstopped……

Hedidnotlighthislamp,butwentovertothebedandthrewhimselfonitwithoutanyhesitation。Lyingonhisback,heputhishandsunderhisheadandstaredupward。Afteramomenthethought,\"Iamlyingherelikethatman。IwonderifhesleptwhileIwasstrugglingwiththeblizzardinthestreets。No,hedidnotsleep。ButwhyshouldInotsleep?\"andhefeltthesilenceofthenightpressuponallhislimbslikeaweight。

Inthecalmofthehardfrostoutside,theclear—cutstrokesofthetownclockcountingoffmidnightpenetratedthequietnessofhissuspendedanimation。

Againhebegantothink。Itwastwenty—fourhourssincethatmanlefthisroom。RazumovhadadistinctfeelingthatHaldininthefortresswassleepingthatnight。ItwasacertitudewhichmadehimangrybecausehedidnotwanttothinkofHaldin,buthejustifiedittohimselfbyphysiologicalandpsychologicalreasons。Thefellowhadhardlysleptforweeksonhisownconfession,andnoweveryincertitudewasatanendforhim。Nodoubthewaslookingforwardtotheconsummationofhismartyrdom。Amanwhoresignshimselftokillneednotgoveryfarforresignationtodie。HaldinsleptperhapsmoresoundlythanGeneralT———,whosetask——wearyworktoo——wasnotdone,andoverwhoseheadhungtheswordofrevolutionaryvengeance。

Razumov,rememberingthethick—setmanwithhisheavyjowlrestingonthecollarofhisuniform,thechampionofautocracy,whohadletnosignofsurprise,incredulity,orjoyescapehim,butwhosegoggleeyescouldexpressamortalhatredofallrebellion——Razumovmoveduneasilyonthebed。

\"Hesuspectedme,\"hethought。\"Isupposehemustsuspecteverybody。Hewouldbecapableofsuspectinghisownwife,ifHaldinhadgonetoherboudoirwithhisconfession。\"

Razumovsatupinanguish。Washetoremainapoliticalsuspectallhisdays?Washetogothroughlifeasamannotwhollytobetrusted——withabadsecretpolicenotetackedontohisrecord?Whatsortoffuturecouldhelookforwardto?

\"Iamnowasuspect,\"hethoughtagain;butthehabitofreflectionandthatdesireofsafety,ofanorderedlife,whichwassostronginhimcametohisassistanceasthenightworeon。Hisquiet,steady,andlaboriousexistencewouldvouchatlengthforhisloyalty。Thereweremanypermittedwaystoserveone’scountry。Therewasanactivitythatmadeforprogresswithoutbeingrevolutionary。Thefieldofinfluencewasgreatandinfinitelyvaried——onceonehadconqueredaname。

Histhoughtlikeacirclingbirdrevertedafterfourand—twentyhourstothesilvermedal,andasitwerepoiseditselfthere。

Whenthedaybrokehehadnotslept,notforamoment,buthegotupnotverytiredandquitesufficientlyself—possessedforallpracticalpurposes。

Hewentoutandattendedthreelecturesinthemorning。Buttheworkinthelibrarywasameredumbshowofresearch。Hesatwithmanyvolumesopenbeforehimtryingtomakenotesandextracts。

Hisnewtranquillitywaslikeaflimsygarment,andseemedtofloatatthemercyofacasualword。Betrayal!Why!thefellowhaddoneallthatwasnecessarytobetrayhimself。Preciouslittlehadbeenneededtodeceivehim。

\"Ihavesaidnowordtohimthatwasnotstrictlytrue。

Notoneword,\"Razumovarguedwithhimself。

Onceengagedonthislineofthoughttherecouldbenoquestionofdoingusefulwork。Thesameideaswentonpassingthroughhismind,andhepronouncedmentallythesamewordsoverandoveragain。Heshutupallthebooksandrammedallhispapersintohispocketwithconvulsivemovements,raginginwardlyagainstHaldin。

Ashewasleavingthelibraryalongbonystudentinathreadbareovercoatjoinedhim,steppingmoodilybyhisside。Razumovansweredhismumbledgreetingwithoutlookingathimatall。

\"Whatdoeshewantwithme?\"hethoughtwithastrangedreadoftheunexpectedwhichhetriedtoshakeofflestitshouldfastenitselfuponhislifeforgoodandall。Andtheother,mutteringcautiouslywithdowncasteyes,supposedthathiscomradehadseenthenewsofdeP———’sexecutioner——thatwastheexpressionheused——havingbeenarrestedthenightbeforelast……

\"I’vebeenill——shutupinmyrooms,\"Razumovmumbledthroughhisteeth。

Thetallstudent,raisinghisshoulders,shovedhishandsdeepintohispockets。Hehadahairless,square,tallowychinwhichtrembledslightlyashespoke,andhisnosenippedbrightredbythesharpairlookedlikeafalsenoseofpaintedcardboardbetweenthesallowcheeks。Hiswholeappearancewasstampedwiththemarkofcoldandhunger。HestalkeddeliberatelyatRazumov’selbowwithhiseyesontheground。

\"It’sanofficialstatement,\"hecontinuedinthesamecautiousmutter。\"Itmaybealie。ButtherewassomebodyarrestedbetweenmidnightandoneinthemorningonTuesday。

Thisiscertain。\"

Andtalkingrapidlyunderthecoverofhisdowncastair,hetoldRazumovthatthiswasknownthroughaninferiorGovernmentclerkemployedattheCentralSecretariat。Thatmanbelongedtooneoftherevolutionarycircles。\"Thesame,infact,Iamaffiliatedto,\"remarkedthestudent。

Theywerecrossingawidequadrangle。AninfinitedistresspossessedRazumov,annihilatedhisenergy,andbeforehiseyeseverythingappearedconfusedandasifevanescent。Hedarednotleavethefellowthere。\"Hemaybeaffiliatedtothepolice,\"

wasthethoughtthatpassedthroughhismind。\"Whocouldtell?\"

Buteyeingthemiserablefrost—nipped,famine—struckfigureofhiscompanionheperceivedtheabsurdityofhissuspicion。

\"ButI——youknow——Idon’tbelongtoanycircle。I……\"

Hedarednotsayanymore。Neitherdaredhemendhispace。Theother,raisingandsettingdownhislamentablyshodfeetwithexactdeliberation,protestedinalowtonethatitwasnotnecessaryforeverybodytobelongtoanorganization。Themostvaluablepersonalitiesremainedoutside。Someofthebestworkwasdoneoutsidetheorganization。Thenveryfast,withwhispering,feverishlips——

\"ThemanarrestedinthestreetwasHaldin。\"

AndacceptingRazumov’sdismayedsilenceasnaturalenough,heassuredhimthattherewasnomistake。ThatGovernmentclerkwasonnightdutyattheSecretariat。Hearingagreatnoiseoffootstepsinthehallandawarethatpoliticalprisonerswerebroughtoversometimesatnightfromthefortress,heopenedthedooroftheroominwhichhewasworking,suddenly。Beforethegendarmeondutycouldpushhimbackandslamthedoorinhisface,hehadseenaprisonerbeingpartlycarried,partlydraggedalongthehallbyalotofpolicemen。Hewasbeingusedverybrutally。AndtheclerkhadrecognizedHaldinperfectly。LessthanhalfanhourafterwardsGeneralT——arrivedattheSecretariattoexaminethatprisonerpersonally。

\"Aren’tyouastonished?\"concludedthegauntstudent。

\"No,\"saidRazumovroughly——andatonceregrettedhisanswer。

\"EverybodysupposedHaldinwasintheprovinces——withhispeople。Didn’tyou?\"

ThestudentturnedhisbigholloweyesuponRazumov,whosaidunguardedly——

\"Hispeopleareabroad。\"

Hecouldhavebittenhistongueoutwithvexation。

Thestudentpronouncedinatoneofprofoundmeaning——

\"So!Youalonewereaware……\"andstopped。

\"Theyhaveswornmyruin,\"thoughtRazumov。\"HaveYouspokenofthistoanyoneelse?\"heaskedwithbittercuriosity。

Theothershookhishead。

\"No,onlytoyou。OurcirclethoughtthatasHaldinhadbeenoftenheardexpressingawarmappreciationofyourcharacter……\"

Razumovcouldnotrestrainagestureofangrydespairwhichtheothermusthavemisunderstoodinsomeway,becauseheceasedspeakingandturnedawayhisblack,lack—lustreeyes。

Theymovedsidebysideinsilence。Thenthegauntstudentbegantowhisperagain,withavertedgaze——

\"Aswehaveatpresentnooneaffiliatedinsidethefortresssoastomakeitpossibletofurnishhimwithapacketofpoison,wehaveconsideredalreadysomesortofretaliatoryaction——tofollowverysoon……\"

Razumovtrudgingoninterrupted——

\"WereyouacquaintedwithHaldin?Didheknowwhereyoulive?\"

\"Ihadthehappinesstohearhimspeaktwice,\"hiscompanionansweredinthefeverishwhispercontrastingwiththegloomyapathyofhisfaceandbearing。\"HedidnotknowwhereIlive……Iamlodgingpoorlywithanartisanfamily……

Ihavejustacornerinaroom。Itisnotverypracticabletoseemethere,butifyoushouldneedmeforanythingIamready……

Razumovtrembledwithrageandfear。Hewasbesidehimself,butkepthisvoicelow。

\"Youarenottocomenearme。Youarenottospeaktome。Neveraddressasinglewordtome。Iforbidyou。\"

\"Verywell,\"saidtheothersubmissively,showingnosurprisewhateveratthisabruptprohibition。\"Youdon’twishforsecretreasons……perfectly……Iunderstand。\"

Heedgedawayatonce,notlookingupeven;andRazumovsawhisgaunt,shabby,famine—strickenfigurecrossthestreetobliquelywithloweredheadandthatpeculiarexactmotionofthefeet。

Hewatchedhimasonewouldwatchavisionoutofanightmare,thenhecontinuedonhisway,tryingnottothink。Onhislandingthelandladyseemedtobewaitingforhim。Shewasashort,thick,shapelesswomanwithalargeyellowfacewrappedupeverlastinglyinablackwoollenshawl。Whenshesawhimcomeupthelastflightofstairssheflungbothherarmsupexcitedly,thenclaspedherhandsbeforeherface。

\"KiryloSidorovitch——littlefather——whathaveyoubeendoing?

Andsuchaquietyoungman,too!Thepolicearejustgonethismomentaftersearchingyourrooms。\"

Razumovgazeddownatherwithsilent,scrutinizingattention。

Herpuffyyellowcountenancewasworkingwithemotion。Shescreweduphereyesathimentreatingly。

\"Suchasensibleyoungman!Anybodycanseeyouaresensible。

Andnow——likethis——allatonce……WhatisthegoodofmixingyourselfupwiththeseNihilists?Dogiveover,littlefather。

Theyareunluckypeople。\"

Razumovmovedhisshouldersslightly。

\"Orisitthatsomesecretenemyhasbeencalumniatingyou,KiryloSidorovitch?Theworldisfullofblackheartsandfalsedenunciationsnowadays。Thereismuchfearabout。\"

\"HaveyouheardthatIhavebeendenouncedbysomeone?\"

askedRazumov,withouttakinghiseyesoffherquiveringface。

Butshehadnotheardanything。Shehadtriedtofindoutbyaskingthepolicecaptainwhilehismenwereturningtheroomupsidedown。Thepolicecaptainofthedistricthadknownherforthelastelevenyearsandwasahumaneperson。Buthesaidtoheronthelanding,lookingveryblackandvexed——

\"Mygoodwoman,donotaskquestions。Idon’tknowanythingmyself。Theordercomesfromhigherquarters。\"

Andindeedtherehadappeared,shortlyafterthearrivalofthepolicemenofthedistrict,averysuperiorgentlemaninafurcoatandashinyhat,whosatdownintheroomandlookedthroughallthepapershimself。Hecamealoneandwentawaybyhimself,takingnothingwithhim。Shehadbeentryingtoputthingsstraightalittlesincetheyleft。

Razumovturnedawaybrusquelyandenteredhisrooms。

Allhisbookshadbeenshakenandthrownonthefloor。Hislandladyfollowedhim,andstoopingpainfullybegantopickthemupintoherapron。Hispapersandnoteswhichwerekeptalwaysneatlysorted(theyallrelatedtohisstudies)hadbeenshuffledupandheapedtogetherintoaraggedpileinthemiddleofthetable。

ThisdisorderaffectecIhimprofoundly,unreasonably。Hesatdownandstared。Hehadadistinctsensationofhisveryexistencebeingunderminedinsomemysteriousmanner,ofhismoralsupportsfallingawayfromhimonebyone。Heevenexperiencedaslightphysicalgiddinessandmadeamovementasiftoreachforsomethingtosteadyhimselfwith。

Theoldwoman,risingtoherfeetwithalowgroan,shotallthebooksshehadcollectedinherapronontothesofaandlefttheroommutteringandsighing。

Itwasonlythenthathenoticedthatthesheetofpaperwhichforonenighthadremainedstabbedtothewallabovehisemptybedwaslyingontopofthepile。

Whenhehadtakenitdownthedaybeforehehadfoldeditinfour,absent—mindedly,beforedroppingitonthetable。Andnowhesawitlyinguppermost,spreadout,smoothedoutevenandcoveringalltheconfusedpileofpages,therecordofhisintellectuallifeforthelastthreeyears。Ithadnotbeenflungthere。Ithadbeenplacedthere——smoothedout,too!Heguessedinthatanintentionofprofoundmeaning——orperhapssomeinexplicablemockery。

Hesatstaringatthepieceofpapertillhiseyesbegantosmart。Hedidnotattempttoputhispapersinorder,eitherthateveningorthenextday——whichhespentathomeinastateofpeculiarirresolution。ThisirresoIutionboreuponthequestionwhetherheshouldcontinuetolive——neithermorenorless。Butitsnaturewasveryfarremovedfromthehesitationofamancontemplatingsuicide。TheideaoflayingviolenthandsuponhisbodydidnotoccurtoRazumov。Theunrelatedorganismbearingthatlabel,walking,breathing,wearingtheseclothes,wasofnoimportancetoanyone,unlessmaybetothelandlady。

ThetrueRazumovhadhisbeinginthewilled,inthedeterminedfuture——inthatfuturemenacedbythelawlessnessofautocracy——forautocracyknowsnolaw——andthelawlessnessofrevolution。Thefeelingthathismoralpersonalitywasatthemercyoftheselawlessforceswassostrongthatheaskedhimselfseriouslyifitwereworthwhiletogoonaccomplishingthementalfunctionsofthatexistencewhichseemednolongerhisown。

\"Whatisthegoodofexertingmyintelligence,ofpursuingthesystematicdevelopmentofmyfacultiesandallmyplansofwork?\"

heaskedhimself。\"Iwanttoguidemyconductbyreasonableconvictions,butwhatsecurityhaveIagainstsomething——somedestructivehorror——

walkinginuponmeasIsithere?……

Razumovlookedapprehensivelytowardsthedooroftheouterroomasifexpectingsomeshapeofeviltoturnthehandleandappearbeforehimsilently。

\"Acommonthief,\"hesaidtohimself,\"findsmoreguaranteesinthelawheisbreaking,andevenabrutelikeZiemianitchhashisconsolation。\"Razumovenviedthematerialismofthethiefandthepassionoftheincorrigiblelover。Theconsequencesoftheiractionswerealwaysclearandtheirlivesremainedtheirown。

ButhesleptassoundlythatnightasthoughhehadbeenconsolinghimselfinthemannerofZiemianitch。Hedroppedoffsuddenly,laylikealog,rememberednodreamonwaking。Butitwasasifhissoulhadgoneoutinthenighttogathertheflowersofwrathfulwisdom。Hegotupinamoodofgrimdeterminationandasifwithanewknowledgeofhisownnature。

Helookedmockinglyontheheapofpapersonhistable;andlefthisroomtoattendthelectures,mutteringtohimself,\"Weshallsee。\"

Hewasinnohumourtotalktoanybodyorhearhimselfquestionedastohisabsencefromlecturesthedaybefore。Butitwasdifficulttorepulserudelyaverygoodcomradewithasmoothpinkfaceandfairhair,bearingthenicknameamongsthisfellow—studentsof\"MadcapKostia。\"HewastheidolizedonlysonofaverywealthyandilliterateGovernmentcontractor,andattendedthelecturesonlyduringtheperiodicalfitsofcontritionfollowingupontearfulpaternalremonstrances。

Noisilyblunderinglikearetrieverpuppy,hiselatedvoiceandgreatgesturesfilledthebareacademycorridorswiththejoyofthoughtlessanimallife,provokingindulgentsmilesatagreatdistance。Hisusualdiscoursestreatedoftrottinghorses,wine—partiesinexpensiverestaurants,andthemeritsofpersonsofeasyvirtue,withadisarmingartlessnessofoutlook。HepounceduponRazumovaboutmidday,somewhatlessuproariouslythanhishabitwas,andledhimaside。

\"Justamoment,KiryloSidorovitch。Afewwordshereinthisquietcorner。\"

HefeltRazumov’sreluctance,andinsinuatedhishandunderhisarmcaressingly。

\"No——praydo。Idon’twanttotalktoyouaboutanyofmysillyscrapes。Whataremyscrapes?Absolutelynothing。Merechildishness。TheothernightIflungafellowoutofacertainplacewhereIwashavingafairlygoodtime。Atyrannicallittlebeastofaquill—driverfromtheTreasurydepartment。Hewasbullyingthepeopleofthehouse。Irebukedhim。’YouarenotbehavinghumanelytoGod’screaturesthatareajollysightmoreestimablethanyourself,’Isaid。Ican’tbeartoseeanytyranny,KiryloSidorovitch。UponmywordIcan’t。Hedidn’ttakeitingoodpartatall。’Who’sthatimpudentpuppy?’

hebeginstoshout。Iwasinexcellentformasithappened,andhewentthroughtheclosedwindowverysuddenly。Heflewquitealongwayintotheyard。Iragedlike——likea——minotaur。

Thewomenclungtomeandscreamed,thefiddlersgotunderthetable……Suchfun!Mydadhadtoputhishandprettydeepintohispocket,Icantellyou。\"Hechuckled。

\"Mydadisaveryusefulman。Jollygoodthingitisforme,too。

Idogetintounholyscrapes。\"

Hiselationfell。Thatwasjustit。Whatwashislife?

Insignificant;nogoodtoanyone;amerefestivity。Itwouldendsomefinedayinhisgettinghisskullsplitwithachampagnebottleinadrunkenbrawl。Atsuchtimes,too,whenmenweresacrificingthemselvestoideas。Buthecouldnevergetanyideasintohishead。Hisheadwasn’tworthanythingbetterthantobesplitbyachampagnebottle。

Razumov,protestingthathehadnotime,madeanattempttogetaway。Theother’stonechangedtoconfidentialearnestness。

\"ForGod’ssake,Kirylo,mydearsoul,letmemakesomesortofsacrifice。Itwouldnotbeasacrificereally。Ihavemyrichdadbehindme。There’spositivelynogettingtothebottomofhispocket。\"

AndrejectingindignantlyRazumov’ssuggestionthatthiswasdrunkenraving,heofferedtolendhimsomemoneytoescapeabroadwith。Hecouldalwaysgetmoneyfromhisdad。Hehadonlytosaythathehadlostitatcardsorsomethingofthatsort,andatthesametimepromisesolemnlynottomissasinglelectureforthreemonthsonend。Thatwouldfetchtheoldman;

andhe,Kostia,wasquiteequaltothesacrifice。Thoughhereallydidnotseewhatwasthegoodforhimtoattendthelectures。Itwasperfectlyhopeless。

\"Won’tyouletmebeofsomeuse?\"hepleadedtothesilentRazumov,whowithhiseyesonthegroundandutterlyunabletopenetratetherealdriftoftheother’sintention,feltastrangereluctancetoclearupthepoint。

\"WhatmakesyouthinkIwanttogoabroad?\"heaskedatlastveryquietly。

Kostialoweredhisvoice。

\"Youhadthepoliceinyourroomsyesterday。Therearethreeorfourofuswhohaveheardofthat。Nevermindhowweknow。Itissufficientthatwedo。Sowehavebeenconsultingtogether。\"

\"Ah!Yougottoknowthatsosoon,\"mutteredRazumovnegligently。

\"Yes。Wedid。Anditstruckusthatamanlikeyou……\"

\"Whatsortofamandoyoutakemetobe?\"Razumovinterruptedhim。

\"Amanofideas——andamanofactiontoo。Butyouareverydeep,Kirylo。There’snogettingtothebottomofyourmind。Notforfellowslikeme。Butweallagreedthatyoumustbepreservedforourcountry。Ofthatwehavenodoubtwhatever——ImeanallofuswhohaveheardHaldinspeakofyouoncertainoccasions。

Amandoesn’tgetthepoliceransackinghisroomswithouttherebeingsomedevilryhangingoverhishead……Andsoifyouthinkthatitwouldbebetterforyoutoboltatonce……\"

Razumovtorehimselfawayandwalkeddownthecorridor,leavingtheothermotionlesswithhismouthopen。ButalmostatoncehereturnedandstoodbeforetheamazedKostia,whoshuthismouthslowly。Razumovlookedhimstraightintheeyes,beforesayingwithmarkeddeliberationandseparatinghiswords——

\"Ithank——you——very——much。\"

Hewentawayagainrapidly。Kostia,recoveringfromhissurpriseatthesemanoeuvres,ranupbehindhimpressingly。

\"No!Wait!Listen。Ireallymeanit。Itwouldbelikegivingyourcompassiontoastarvingfellow。Doyouhear,Kirylo?Andanydisguiseyoumaythinkof,thattooIcouldprocurefromacostumier,aJewIknow。Letafoolbemadeserviceableaccordingtohisfolly。Perhapsalsoafalsebeardorsomethingofthatkindmaybeneeded。

Razumovturnedatbay。

\"Therearenofalsebeardsneededinthisbusiness,Kostia——yougood—heartedlunatic,you。Whatdoyouknowofmyideas?Myideasmaybepoisontoyou。\"Theotherbegantoshakehisheadinenergeticprotest。

\"Whathaveyougottodowithideas?Someofthemwouldmakeanendofyourdad’smoney—bags。Leaveoffmeddlingwithwhatyoudon’tunderstand。Gobacktoyourtrottinghorsesandyourgirls,andthenyou’llbesureatleastofdoingnoharmtoanybody,andhardlyanytoyourself。\"

Theenthusiasticyouthwasovercomebythisdisdain。

\"You’resendingmebacktomypig’strough,Kirylo。Thatsettlesit。Iamanunluckybeast——andIshalldielikeabeasttoo。

Butmind——it’syourcontemptthathasdoneforme。\"

Razumovwentoffwithlongstrides。Thatthissimpleandgrosslyfestivesoulshouldhavefallentooundertherevolutionarycurseaffectedhimasanominoussymptomofthetime。Hereproachedhimselfforfeelingtroubled。Personallyheoughttohavefeltreassured。Therewasanobviousadvantageinthisconspiracyofmistakenjudgmenttakinghimforwhathewasnot。Butwasitnotstrange?

AgainheexperiencedthatsensationofhisconductbeingtakenoutofhishandsbyHaldin’srevolutionarytyranny。Hissolitaryandlaboriousexistencehadbeendestroyed——theonlythinghecouldcallhisownonthisearth。Bywhatright?heaskedhimselffuriously。Inwhatname?

Whatinfuriatedhimmostwastofeelthatthe\"thinkers\"oftheUniversitywereevidentlyconnectinghimwithHaldin——asasortofconfidantinthebackgroundapparently。Amysteriousconnexion!

Haha!……Hehadbeenmadeapersonagewithoutknowinganythingaboutit。HowthatwretchHaldinmusthavetalkedabouthim!

YetitwaslikelythatHaldinhadsaidverylittle。Thefellow’scasualutteranceswerecaughtupandtreasuredandponderedoverbyalltheseimbeciles。Andwasnotallsecretrevolutionaryactionbaseduponfolly,self—deception,andlies?

\"Impossibletothinkofanythingelse,\"mutteredRazumovtohimself。\"I’llbecomeanidiotifthisgoeson。Thescoundrelsandthefoolsaremurderingmyintelligence。\"

Helostallhopeofsavinghisfuture,whichdependedonthefreeuseofhisintelligence。

Hereachedthedoorwayofhishouseinastateofmentaldiscouragementwhichenabledhimtoreceivewithapparentindifferenceanofficial—lookingenvelopefromthedirtyhandofthedvornik。

\"Agendarmebroughtit,\"saidtheman。\"Heaskedifyouwereathome。Itoldhim’No,he’snotathome。’Soheleftit。

’Giveitintohisownhands,’sayshe。Nowyou’vegotit——eh?\"

Hewentbacktohissweeping,andRazumovclimbedhisstairs,envelopeinhand。Onceinhisroomhedidnothastentoopenit。

Ofcoursethisofficialmissivewasfromthesuperiordirectionofthepolice。Asuspect!Asuspect!

Hestaredindrearyastonishmentattheabsurdityofhisposition。Hethoughtwithasortofdry,unemotionalmelancholy;

threeyearsofgoodworkgone,thecourseoffortymoreperhapsjeopardized——turnedfromhopetoterror,becauseeventsstartedbyhumanfollylinkthemselvesintoasequencewhichnosagacitycanforeseeandnocouragecanbreakthrough。Fatalityentersyourroomswhileyourlandlady’sbackisturned;youcomehomeandfinditinpossessionbearingaman’sname,clothedinflesh——wearingabrownclothcoatandlongboots——loungingagainstthestove。Itasksyou,\"Istheouterdoorclosed?\"——andyoudon’tknowenoughtotakeitbythethroatandflingitdownstairs。Youdon’tknow。Youwelcomethecrazyfate。\"Sitdown,\"yousay。Anditisallover。Youcannotshakeitoffanymore。Itwillclingtoyouforever。Neitherhalternorbulletcangiveyoubackthefreedomofyourlifeandthesanityofyourthought……Itwasenoughtodashone’sheadagainstawall。

Razumovlookedslowlyallroundthewallsasiftoselectaspottodashhisheadagainst。Thenheopenedtheletter。ItdirectedthestudentKiryloSidorovitchRazumovtopresenthimselfwithoutdelayattheGeneralSecretariat。

RazumovhadavisionofGeneralT———’sgoggleeyeswaitingforhim——theembodiedpowerofautocracy,grotesqueandterrible。Heembodiedthewholepowerofautocracybecausehewasitsguardian。Hewastheincarnatesuspicion,theincarnateanger,theincarnateruthlessnessofapoliticalandsocialregimeonitsdefence。Heloathedrebellionbyinstinct。AndRazumovreflectedthatthemanwassimplyunabletounderstandareasonableadherencetothedoctrineofabsolutism。

\"Whatcanhewantwithmeprecisely——Iwonder?\"heaskedhimself。

Asifthatmentalquestionhadevokedthefamiliarphantom,Haldinstoodsuddenlybeforehimintheroomwithanextraordinarycompletenessofdetail。Thoughtheshortwinterdayhadpassedalreadyintothesinistertwilightofalandburiedinsnow,RazumovsawplainlythenarrowleatherstraproundtheTcherkesscoat。Theillusionofthathatefulpresencewassoperfectthathehalfexpectedittoask,\"Istheouterdoorclosed?\"Helookedatitwithhatredandcontempt。Soulsdonottakeashapeofclothing。Moreover,Haldincouldnotbedeadyet。Razumovsteppedforwardmenacingly;thevisionvanished——andturningshortonhisheelhewalkedoutofhisroomwithinfinitedisdain。

ButaftergoingdownthefirstflightofstairsitoccurredtohimthatperhapsthesuperiorauthoritiesofpolicemeanttoconfronthimwithHaldinintheflesh。Thisthoughtstruckhimlikeabullet,andhadhenotclungwithbothhandstothebanisterhewouldhaverolleddowntothenextlandingmostlikely。Hislegswereofnouseforaconsiderabletime……

Butwhy?Forwhatconceivablereason?Towhatend?

Therecouldbenorationalanswertothesequestions;butRazumovrememberedthepromisemadebytheGeneraltoPrinceK———。Hisactionwastoremainunknown。

Hegotdowntothebottomofthestairs,loweringhimselfasitwerefromsteptostep,bythebanister。Underthegateheregainedmuchofhisfirmnessofthoughtandlimb。Hewentoutintothestreetwithoutstaggeringvisibly。Everymomenthefeltsteadiermentally。AndyethewassayingtohimselfthatGeneralT———wasperfectlycapableofshuttinghimupinthefortressforanindefinitetime。Histemperamentfittedhisremorselesstask,andhisomnipotencemadehiminaccessibletoreasonableargument。

ButwhenRazumovarrivedattheSecretariathediscoveredthathewouldhavenothingtodowithGeneralT———。ItisevidentfromMr。Razumov’sdiarythatthisdreadedpersonalitywastoremaininthebackground。Acivilianofsuperiorrankreceivedhiminaprivateroomafteraperiodofwaitinginouterofficeswherealotofscribblingwentonatmanytablesinaheatedandstuffyatmosphere。

Theclerkinuniformwhoconductedhimsaidinthecorridor——

\"YouaregoingbeforeGregorMatvieitchMikulin。\"

Therewasnothingformidableaboutthemanbearingthatname。

Hismild,expectantglancewasturnedonthedooralreadywhenRazumoventered。Atonce,withthepenholderhewasholdinginhishand,hepointedtoadeepsofabetweentwowindows。HefollowedRazumovwithhiseyeswhilethatlastcrossedtheroomandsatdown。Themildgazerestedonhim,notcurious,notinquisitive——certainlynotsuspicious——almostwithoutexpression。

Initspassionlesspersistencetherewassomethingresemblingsympathy。

Razumov,whohadpreparedhiswillandhisintelligencetoencounterGeneralT———himself,wasprofoundlytroubled。Allthemoralbracingupagainstthepossibleexcessesofpowerandpassionwentfornothingbeforethissallowman,whoworeafullunclippedbeard。Itwasfair,thin,andveryfine。Thelightfellincopperygleamsontheprotuberancesofahigh,ruggedforehead。Andtheaspectofthebroad,softphysiognomywassohomelyandrusticthatthecarefulmiddlepartingofthehairseemedapretentiousaffectation。

ThediaryofMr。Razumovtestifiestosomeirritationonhispart。ImayremarkherethatthediaryproperconsistingofthemoreorlessdailyentriesseemstohavebeenbegunonthatveryeveningafterMr。Razumovhadreturnedhome。

Mr。Razumov,then,wasirritated。Hisstrung—upindividualityhadgonetopieceswithinhimverysuddenly。

\"Imustbeveryprudentwithhim,\"hewarnedhimselfinthesilenceduringwhichtheysatgazingateachother。Itlastedsomelittletime,andwascharacterized(forsilenceshavetheircharacter)byasortofsadnessimpartedtoitperhapsbythemildandthoughtfulmannerofthebeardedofficial。RazumovlearnedlaterthathewasthechiefofadepartmentintheGeneralSecretariat,witharankinthecivilserviceequivalenttothatofacolonelinthearmy。

Razumov’smistrustbecameacute。Themainpointwas,nottobedrawnintosayingtoomuch。Hehadbeencalledthereforsomereason。Whatreason?Tobegiventounderstandthathewasasuspect——andalsonodoubttobepumped。Astowhatprecisely?

Therewasnothing。OrperhapsHaldinhadbeentellinglies……

EveryalarminguncertaintybesetRazumov。Hecouldbearthesilencenolonger,andcursinghimselfforhisweaknessspokefirst,thoughhehadpromisedhimselfnottodosoonanyaccount。

\"Ihaven’tlostamoment’stime,\"hebeganinahoarse,provokingtone;andthenthefacultyofspeechseemedtoleavehimandenterthebodyofCouncillorMikulin,whochimedinapprovingly——

\"Veryproper。Veryproper。Thoughasamatteroffact……

Butthespellwasbroken,andRazumovinterruptedhimboldly,underasuddenconvictionthatthiswasthesafestattitudetotake。Withagreatflowofwordshecomplainedofbeingtotallymisunderstood。Evenashetalkedwithaperceptionofhisownaudacityhethoughtthattheword\"misunderstood\"wasbetterthantheword\"mistrusted,\"andherepeateditagainwithinsistence。

Suddenlyheceased,beingseizedwithfrightbeforetheattentiveimmobilityoftheofficial。\"WhatamItalkingabout?\"hethought,eyeinghimwithavaguegaze。Mistrusted——notmisunderstood——wastherightsymbolforthesepeople。

Misunderstoodwastheotherkindofcurse。BothhadbeenbroughtonhisheadbythatfellowHaldin。Andhisheadachedterribly。

Hepassedhishandoverhisbrow——aninvoluntarygestureofsuffering,whichhewastoocarelesstorestrain。