Thiswasthebeginningofanintimacywhichsoondisplacedallceremony。Itwasverypleasanttogointhereafterdinner，eventositwiththecoloneloverhisclaret，andhearmorestoriesaboutBingo;forafterwardIcouldgointotheprettydrawing-roomandtakemyteafromLilian’shands，andlistenwhilesheplayedSchuberttousinthesummertwilight。
Thepoodlewasalwaysintheway，tobesure，butevenhisuglyblackheadseemedtolosesomeofitsuglinessandferocitywhenLilianlaidherprettyhandonit。
Onthewhole，IthinkthattheCurriefamilywerewelldisposedtowardme，thecolonelconsideringmeasaharmlessspecimenoftheaverageeligibleyoungman，——whichIcertainlywas，——andMrs。Currieshowingmefavourformymother’ssake，forwhomshehadtakenastrongliking。
AsforLilian，IbelievedIsawthatshesoonsuspectedthestateofmyfeelingstowardher，andwasnotdispleasedbyit。IlookedforwardwithsomehopefulnesstoadaywhenIcoulddeclaremyselfwithnofearofarepulse。
ButitwasaseriousobstacleinmypaththatIcouldnotsecureBingo’sgoodopiniononanyterms。Thefamilywouldoftenlamentthispatheticallythemselves。\"Yousee，\"Mrs。Curriewouldobserveinapology，\"Bingoisadogthatdoesnotattachhimselfeasilytostrangers\"——though，forthatmatter，Ithoughthewasunpleasantlyreadytoattachhimselfto/me/。
Ididtryhardtoconciliatehim。Ibroughthimpropitiatorybuns，whichwasweakandineffectual，asheatethemwithavidity，andhatedmeasbitterlyasever;forhehadconceivedfromthefirstaprofoundcontemptforme，andadistrustwhichnoblandishmentsofminecouldremove。Lookingbacknow，Iaminclinedtothinkitwasapropheticinstinctthatwarnedhimofwhatwastocomeuponhimthroughmyinstrumentality。
OnlyhisapprobationwaswantingtoestablishformeafirmfootingwiththeCurries，andperhapsdetermineLilian’swaveringheartinmydirection;but，thoughIwooedthatinflexiblepoodlewithanassiduityIblushtoremember，heremainedobstinatelyfirm。
Still，daybyday，Lilian’streatmentofmewasmoreencouraging;daybydayIgainedintheesteemofheruncleandaunt;IbegantohopethatsoonIshouldbeabletodisregardcanineinfluencealtogether。
Nowtherewasoneinconvenienceaboutourvilla（besidesitsflavourofsuicide）whichitisnecessarytomentionhere。Bycommonconsentallthecatsoftheneighbourhoodhadselectedourgardenfortheireveningreunions。Ifancythatatortoise-shellkitchencatofoursmusthavebeenasortofleaderoflocalfelinesociety——Iknowshewas\"athome，\"withmusicandrecitations，onmostevenings。
Mypoormotherfoundthistointerferewithherafter-dinnernap，andnowonder;forifacohortofghostshadbeen\"shriekingandsquealing，\"asCalpurniaputsit，inourbackgarden，orithadbeenfittedupasacrecheforanurseryofgoblininfantsintheagoniesofteething，thenoisecouldnotpossiblyhavebeenmoreunearthly。
Wesoughtforsomemeansofgettingridofthenuisance：therewaspoison，ofcourse;butwethoughtitwouldhaveaninvidiousappearance，andevenleadtolegaldifficulties，ifeachdawnweretodiscoveranassortmentofcatsexpiringinhideousconvulsionsinvariouspartsofthesamegarden。
Firearmstoowereopentoobjection，andwouldscarcelyassistmymother’sslumbers;soforsometimewewereatalossforaremedy。Atlast，oneday，walkingdowntheStrand，Ichancedtosee（inanevilhour）whatstruckmeastheverything：itwasanair-gunofsuperiorconstruction，displayedinagunsmith’swindow。Iwentinatonce，purchasedit，andtookithomeintriumph;itwouldbenoiseless，andwouldreducethelocalaverageofcatswithoutscandal，——oneortwoexamples，——andfelinefashionwouldsoonmigratetoamoresecludedspot。
Ilostnotimeinputtingthistotheproof。ThatsameeveningIlayinwaitafterduskatthestudywindow，protectingmymother’srepose。
AssoonasIheardthelong-drawnwail，thepreliminarysputter，andthewildstampedethatfollowed，Iletflyinthedirectionofthesound。IsupposeImusthavesomethingofthenationalsportinginstinctinme，formybloodwastinglingwithexcitement;butthefelineconstitutionassimilatesleadwithoutseriousinconvenience，andIbegantofearthatnotrophywouldremaintobearwitnesstomymarksmanship。
ButallatonceImadeoutadark，indistinctformslinkinginfrombehindthebushes。Iwaitedtillitcrossedabeltoflightwhichstreamedfromthebackkitchenbelowme，andthenItookcarefulaimandpulledthetrigger。
ThistimeatleastIhadnotfailed;therewasasmotheredyell，arustle，andthensilenceagain。Iranoutwiththecalmprideofasuccessfulrevengetobringinthebodyofmyvictim，andIfoundunderneathalaurelnopredatorytom-cat，but（asthediscerningreaderwillnodoubthaveforeseenlongsince）thequiveringcarcassofthecolonel’sblackpoodle！
Iintendtosetdownheretheexactunvarnishedtruth，andIconfessthatatfirst，whenIknewwhatIhaddone，Iwas/not/sorry。Iwasquiteinnocentofanyintentionofdoingit，butIfeltnoregret。I
evenlaughed——madmanthatIwas——atthethoughtthattherewastheendofBingo，atallevents;thatimpedimentwasremoved;mywearytaskofconciliationwasoverforever！
Butsoonthereactioncame;Irealisedthetremendousnatureofmydeed，andshuddered。IhaddonethatwhichmightbanishmefromLilian’ssideforever！AllunwittinglyIhadslaughteredakindofsacredbeast，theanimalaroundwhichtheCurriehouseholdhadwreathedtheirchoicestaffections！HowwasItobreakittothem？
ShouldIsendBingoin，withacardtiedtohisneckandmyregretsandcompliments？Thatwastoomuchlikeapresentofgame。OughtInottocarryhiminmyself？Iwouldwreathehiminthebestcrape，Iwouldputonblackforhim;theCurrieswouldhardlyconsiderataperandawhitesheet，orsack-clothandashes，anexcessiveformofatonement，butIcouldnotgroveltoquitesuchanabjectextent。
Iwonderedwhatthecolonelwouldsay。Simpleandhearty，asageneralrule，hehadahottemperonoccasions，anditmademeillasI
thought，wouldheand，worsestill，would/Lilian/believeitwasreallyanaccident？TheyknewwhataninterestIhadinsilencingthedeceasedpoodle——wouldtheybelievethesimpletruth？
Ivowedthatthey/should/believeme。Mygenuineremorseandtheabsenceofallconcealmentonmypartwouldspeakpowerfullyforme。I
wouldchooseafavourabletimeformyconfession;thatveryeveningI
wouldtellall。
StillIshrankfromthedutybeforeme，and，asIkneltdownsorrowfullybythedeadformandrespectfullycomposedhisstiffeninglimbs，Ithoughtthatitwasunjustoffatetoplaceawell-meaningman，whosenerveswerenotofiron，insuchaposition。
Then，tomyhorror，Iheardawell-knownringingtrampontheroadoutside，andsmelledthepeculiarfragranceofaBurmesecheroot。Itwasthecolonelhimself，whohadbeentakingoutthedoomedBingoforhisusualeveningrun。
Idon’tknowhowitwas，exactly，butasuddenpaniccameoverme。I
heldmybreath，andtriedtocrouchdownunseenbehindthelaurels;
buthehadseenme，andcameoveratoncetospeaktomeacrossthehedge。
Hestoodthere，nottwoyardsfromhisfavourite’sbody！Fortunatelyitwasunusuallydarkthatevening。
\"Ha，thereyouare，eh！\"hebegan，heartily;\"don’trise，myboy，don’trise。\"
Iwastryingtoputmyselfinfrontofthepoodle，anddidnotrise——
atleast，onlymyhairdid。
\"You’reoutlate，ain’tyou？\"hewenton;\"layingoutyourgarden，hey？\"
IcouldnottellhimthatIwaslayingouthispoodle！Myvoiceshookas，withaguiltyconfusionthatwasveiledbythedusk，Isaiditwasafineevening——whichitwasnot。
\"Cloudy，sir，\"saidthecolonel，\"cloudy;rainbeforemorning，I
think。Bytheway，haveyouseenanythingofBingoinhere？\"
Thiswastheturning-point。WhatI/ought/tohavedonewastosaymournfully，\"Yes，I’msorrytosayI’vehadamostunfortunateaccidentwithhim。Hereheis;thefactis，I’mafraidI’ve/shot/
him！\"
ButIcouldn’t。Icouldhavetoldhimatmyowntime，inapreparedformofwords——butnotthen。IfeltImustuseallmywitstogaintime，andfencewiththequestions。
\"Why，\"Isaid，withaleadenairiness，\"hehasn’tgivenyoutheslip，hashe？\"
\"Neverdidsuchathinginhislife！\"saidthecolonel，warmly;\"herushedoffafteraratorafrogorsomethingafewminutesago，andasIstoppedtolightanothercherootIlostsightofhim。IthoughtI
sawhimslipinunderyourgate，butI’vebeencallinghimfromthefrontthereandhewon’tcomeout。\"
No，andhenever/would/comeoutanymore。Butthecolonelmustnotbetoldthatjustyet。Itemporisedagain：\"If，\"Isaid，unsteadily——
\"ifhehadslippedinunderthegateIshouldhaveseenhim。Perhapshetookitintohisheadtorunhome？\"
\"Oh，Ishallfindhimonthedoor-step，Iexpect，theknowingoldscamp！Why，whatd’yethinkwasthelastthinghedid，now？\"
Icouldhavegivenhimtheverylatestintelligence，butIdarednot。
However，itwasaltogethertooghastlytokneelthereandlaughatanecdotesofBingotoldacrossBingo’sdeadbody;Icouldnotstandthat。\"Listen，\"Isaid，suddenly，\"wasn’tthathisbark？There，again;
itseemstocomefromthefrontofyourhouse，don’tyouthink？\"
\"Well，\"saidthecolonel，\"I’llgoandfastenhimupbeforehe’soffagain。Howyourteetharechattering！You’vecaughtachill，man;goindoorsatonce，and，ifyoufeelequaltoit，lookinhalfanhourlater，aboutgrog-time，andI’lltellyouallaboutit。Complimentstoyourmother。Don’tforget——aboutgrog-time！\"
Ihadgotridofhimatlast，andIwipedmyforehead，gaspingwithrelief。Iwouldgoroundinhalfanhour，andthenIshouldbepreparedtomakemymelancholyannouncement。For，eventhen，Ineverthoughtofanyothercourse，untilsuddenlyitflasheduponmewithterribleclearnessthatmymiserableshufflingbythehedgehadmadeitimpossibletotellthetruth！Ihadnottoldadirectlie，tobesure，butthenIhadgiventhecoloneltheimpressionthatIhaddeniedhavingseenthedog。Manypeoplecanappeasetheirconsciencesbyreflectingthat，whatevermaybetheeffecttheirwordsproduce，theydidcontrivetosteerclearofadownrightlie。Ineverquiteknewwherethedistinctionlaymorally，butthere/is/thatfeeling——I
haveitmyself。
Unfortunately，prevaricationhasthisdrawback：that，ifeverthetruthcomestolight，theprevaricatorisinjustthesamecaseasifhehadliedtothemostshamelessextent，andforamantopointoutthatthewordsheusedcontainednoabsolutefalsehoodwillseldomrestoreconfidence。
Imight，ofcourse，stilltellthecolonelofmymisfortune，andleavehimtoinferthatithadhappenedafterourinterview;butthepoodlewasfastbecomingcoldandstiff，andtheywouldmostprobablysuspecttherealtimeoftheoccurrence。
AndthenLilianwouldhearthatIhadtoldastringoffalsehoodstoheruncleoverthedeadbodyoftheiridolisedBingo——anact，nodoubt，ofabominabledesecration，ofunspeakableprofanity，inhereyes。
Ifitwouldhavebeendifficultbeforetoprevailonhertoacceptablood-stainedhand，itwouldbeimpossibleafterthat。No，Ihadburnedmyships，Iwascutoffforeverfromthestraightforwardcourse;thatonemomentofindecisionhaddecidedmyconductinspiteofme;Imustgoonwithitnow，andkeepupthedeceptionatallhazards。
Itwasbitter。Ihadalwaystriedtopreserveasmanyofthemoralprincipleswhichhadbeeninstilledintomeascanbeconvenientlyretainedinthisgraspingworld，andithadbeenmypridethat，roughlyspeaking，Ihadneverbeenguiltyofanunmistakablefalsehood。
Buthenceforth，ifImeanttowinLilian，thatboastmustberelinquishedforever。Ishouldhavetolienowwithallmymight，withoutlimitorscruple，todissembleincessantly，and\"wearamask，\"
asthepoetBunnbeautifullyexpresseditlongago，\"overmyhollowheart。\"Ifeltallthiskeenly;Ididnotthinkitwasright，butwhatwasItodo？
Afterthinkingallthisoutverycarefully，Idecidedthatmyonlycoursewastoburythepooranimalwherehefell，andsaynothingaboutit。Withsomevagueideaofprecaution，Ifirsttookoffthesilvercollarhewore，andthenhastilyinterredhimwithagarden-
trowel，andsucceededinremovingalltracesofthedisaster。
IfancyIfeltacertainreliefintheknowledgethattherewouldnowbenonecessitytotellmypitifulstoryandriskthelossofmyneighbours’esteem。
By-and-by，Ithought，Iwouldplantarose-treeoverhisremains，andsomeday，asLilianandI，inthenoontideofourdomesticbliss，stoodbeforeitadmiringitscreamyluxuriance，Imight（perhaps）findcouragetoconfessthatthetreeowedsomeofthatluxuriancetothelong-lostBingo。
Therewasatouchofpoetryinthisideathatlightenedmygloomforthemoment。
IneedscarcelysaythatIdidnotgoroundtoShuturgardenthatevening。Iwasnothardenedenoughforthatyet;mymannermightbetrayme，andsoIveryprudentlystayedathome。
Butthatnightmysleepwasbrokenbyfrightfuldreams。Iwasperpetuallytryingtoburyagreat，gauntpoodle，whichwouldpersistinrisingupthroughthedampmouldasfastasIcoveredhimup……
LilianandIwereengaged，andwewereinchurchtogetheronSunday，andthepoodle，resistingallattemptstoejecthim，forbadeourbanswithsepulchralbarks……Itwasourwedding-day，andatthecriticalmomentthepoodleleapedbetweenusandswallowedthering……Orwewereatthewedding-breakfast，andBingo，agrislyblackskeletonwithflamingeyes，satonthecakeandwouldnotallowLiliantocutit。Eventherose-treefancywasreproducedinadistortedform——thetreegrew，andeveryblossomcontainedaminiatureBingo，whichbarked;andasIwokeIwasdesperatelytryingtopersuadethecolonelthattheywereordinarydog-roses。
Iwentuptotheofficenextdaywithmygloomysecretgnawingmybosom，and，whateverIdid，thespectreofthemurderedpoodlerosebeforeme。FortwodaysafterthatIdarednotgoneartheCurries，untilatlastoneeveningafterdinnerIforcedmyselftocall，feelingthatitwasreallynotsafetokeepawayanylonger。
MyconsciencesmotemeasIwentin。Iputonanunconscious，easymanner，whichwassuchadismalfailurethatitwasluckyformethattheyweretoomuchengrossedtonoticeit。
IneverbeforesawafamilysostrickendownbyadomesticmisfortuneasthegroupIfoundinthedrawing-room，makingadejectedpretenceofreadingorworking。Wetalkedatfirst——andhollowtalkitwas——onindifferentsubjects，tillIcouldbearitnolonger，andplungedboldlyintodanger。
\"Idon’tseethedog，\"Ibegan，\"Isupposeyou——youfoundhimallrighttheotherevening，colonel？\"Iwondered，asIspoke，whethertheywouldnotnoticethebreakinmyvoice，buttheydidnot。
\"Why，thefactis，\"saidthecolonel，heavily，gnawinghisgraymoustache，\"we’venotheardanythingofhimsince;he’s——he’srunoff！\"
\"Gone，Mr。Weatherhead;gonewithoutaword！\"saidMrs。Currie，plaintively，asifshethoughtthedogmightatleasthaveleftanaddress。
\"Iwouldn’thavebelieveditofhim，\"saidthecolonel;\"ithascompletelyknockedmeover。Haven’tbeensocutupforyears——theungratefulrascal！\"
\"Ouncle！\"pleadedLilian，\"don’ttalklikethat;perhapsBingocouldn’thelpit——perhapssomeonehass-s-shothim！\"
\"Shot！\"criedthecolonel，angrily。\"Byheaven！ifIthoughttherewasavillainonearthcapableofshootingthatpoorinoffensivedog，I’d——Why/should/theyshoothim，Lilian？Tellmethat！I——Ihopeyouwon’tletmehearyoutalklikethatagain。/You/don’tthinkhe’sshot，eh，Weatherhead？\"
Isaid——Heavenforgiveme！——thatIthoughtithighlyimprobable。
\"He’snotdead！\"criedMrs。Currie。\"IfheweredeadIshouldknowitsomehow——I’msureIshould！ButI’mcertainhe’salive。OnlylastnightIhadsuchabeautifuldreamabouthim。Ithoughthecamebacktous，Mr。Weatherhead，drivingupinahansom-cab，andhewasjustthesameasever——onlyheworebluespectacles，andtheshavedpartofhimwaspaintedabrightred。AndIwokeupwiththejoy——so，youknow，it’ssuretocometrue！\"
Itwillbeeasilyunderstoodwhattortureconversationsliketheseweretome，andhowIhatedmyselfasIsympathisedandspokeencouragingwordsconcerningthedog’srecovery，whenIknewallthetimehewaslyinghidundermygardenmould。ButItookitasapartofmypunishment，andboreitalluncomplainingly;practiceevenmademeanadeptintheartofconsolation——IbelieveIreallywasagreatcomforttothem。
Ihadhopedthattheywouldsoongetoverthefirstbitternessoftheirloss，andthatBingowouldbefirstreplacedandthenforgottenintheusualway;butthereseemednosignsofthiscomingtopass。
Thepoorcolonelwastooplainlyfrettinghimselfillaboutit;hewentpotteringaboutforlornly，advertising，searching，andseeingpeople，butall，ofcourse，tonopurpose;andittolduponhim。HewasmorelikeamanwhoseonlysonandheirhadbeenstolenthananAnglo-Indianofficerwhohadlostapoodle。Ihadtoaffecttheliveliestinterestinallhisinquiriesandexpeditions，andtolistentoandechothemostextravaganteulogiesofthedeparted;andthewearandtearofsomuchduplicitymademeatlastalmostasillasthecolonelhimself。
IcouldnothelpseeingthatLilianwasnotnearlysomuchimpressedbymyelaborateconcernasherrelatives，andsometimesIdetectedanincredulouslookinherfrankbrowneyesthatmademeveryuneasy。
Littlebylittle，ariftwidenedbetweenus，untilatlastindespairIdeterminedtoknowtheworstbeforethetimecamewhenitwouldbehopelesstospeakatall。IchoseaSundayeveningaswewerewalkingacrossthegreenfromchurchinthegoldendusk，andthenIventuredtospeaktoherofmylove。Sheheardmetotheend，andwasevidentlyverymuchagitated。Atlastshemurmuredthatitcouldnotbe，unless——no，itnevercouldbenow。
\"Unless，what？\"Iasked。\"Lilian——MissRoseblade，somethinghascomebetweenuslately;youwilltellmewhatthatsomethingis，won’tyou？\"
\"Doyouwanttoknow/really/？\"shesaid，lookingupatmethroughhertears。\"ThenI’lltellyou;it——it’sBingo！\"
Istartedbackoverwhelmed。Didsheknowall？Ifnot，howmuchdidshesuspect？Imustfindoutthatatonce。\"WhataboutBingo？\"Imanagedtopronounce，withadrytongue。
\"Youneverl-lovedhimwhenhewashere，\"shesobbed;\"youknowyoudidn’t！\"
Iwasrelievedtofinditwasnoworsethanthis。
\"No，\"Isaid，candidly;\"IdidnotloveBingo。Bingodidn’tlove/me/，Lilian;hewasalwayslookingoutforachanceofnippingmesomewhere。Surelyyouwon’tquarrelwithmeforthat！\"
\"Notforthat，\"shesaid;\"only，whydoyoupretendtobesofondofhimnow，andsoanxioustogethimbackagain？UncleJohnbelievesyou，but/I/don’t。Icanseequitewellthatyouwouldn’tbegladtofindhim。Youcouldfindhimeasilyifyouwantedto！\"
\"Whatdoyoumean，Lilian？\"Isaid，hoarsely。\"/How/couldIfindhim？\"AgainIfearedtheworst。
\"You’reinagovernmentoffice，\"criedLilian，\"andifyouonlychose，youcouldeasilyg-getg-governmenttofindBingo！What’stheuseofgovernmentifitcan’tdothat？Mr。TraverswouldhavefoundhimlongagoifI’daskedhim！\"
Lilianhadneverbeensochildishlyunreasonableasthisbefore，andyetIlovedhermoremadlythanever;butIdidnotlikethisallusiontoTravers，arisingbarrister，wholivedwithhissisterinaprettycottagenearthestation，andhadshownsymptomsofbeingattractedbyLilian。
Hewasawayoncircuitjustthen，luckily;but，atleast，evenhewouldhavefounditahardtasktofindBingo——therewascomfortinthat。
\"Youknowthatisn’tjust，Lilian，\"Iobserved;\"butonlytellmewhatyouwantmetodo。\"
\"Bub-bub-bringbackBingo！\"shesaid。
\"BringbackBingo！\"Icried，inhorror。\"ButsupposeI/can’t/——
supposehe’soutofthecountry，or——dead，whatthenLilian？\"
\"Ican’thelpit，\"shesaid，\"butIdon’tbelievehe/is/outofthecountryordead。AndwhileIseeyoupretendingtounclethatyoucaredawfullyabouthim，andgoingondoingnothingatall，itmakesmethinkyou’renotquite——quite/sincere/！AndIcouldn’tpossiblymarryanyonewhileIthoughtthatofhim。AndIshallalwayshavethatfeelingunlessyoufindBingo！\"
Itwasofnousetoarguewithher;IknewLilianbythattime。Withherpretty，caressingmannersheunitedalatentobstinacywhichitwashopelesstoattempttoshake。Ifeared，too，thatshewasnotquitecertainasyetwhethershecaredformeornot，andthatthisconditionofherswasanexpedienttogaintime。
Ileftherwithaheavyheart。UnlessIprovedmyworthbybringingbackBingowithinaveryshorttime，Traverswouldprobablyhaveeverythinghisownway。AndBingowasdead！
However，Itookheart。IthoughtthatperhapsifIcouldsucceedbymyearnesteffortsinpersuadingLilianthatIreallywasdoingallinmypowertorecoverthepoodle，shemightrelentintime，anddispensewithhisactualproduction。
So，partlywiththisobject，andpartlytoappeasetheremorsewhichnowrevivedandstungmedeeperthanbefore，Iundertooklongandwearypilgrimagesafterofficehours。Ispentmanypoundsinadvertisements;Iintervieweddogsofeverysize，colour，andbreed，andofcourseItookcaretokeepLilianinformedofeachsuccessivefailure。Butstillherheartwasnottouched;shewasfirm。IfIwentonlikethat，shetoldme，IwascertaintofindBingooneday;then，butnotbefore，wouldherdoubtsbesetatrest。
IwaswalkingonedaythroughthesomewhatsqualiddistrictwhichliesbetweenBowStreetandHighHolborn，whenIsaw，inasmalltheatricalcostumer’swindow，ahand-billstatingthatablackpoodlehad\"followedagentleman\"onacertaindate，andifnotclaimedandthefinderremuneratedbeforeastatedtimewouldbesoldtopayexpenses。
IwentinandgotacopyofthebilltoshowLilian，and，althoughbythattimeIscarcelydaredtolookapoodleintheface，IthoughtI
wouldgototheaddressgivenandseetheanimal，simplytobeabletotellLilianIhaddoneso。
ThegentlemanwhomthedoghadveryunaccountablyfollowedwasacertainMr。WilliamBlagg，whokeptalittleshopnearEndellStreet，andcalledhimselfabird-fancier，thoughIshouldscarcelyhavecreditedhimwiththenecessaryimagination。Hewasanevil-browedruffianinafurcap，withabroadbrokennoseandlittleshiftyredeyes;andafterIhadtoldhimwhatIwantedhetookmethroughahorriblelittleden，stackedwithpilesofwooden，wire，andwickerprisons，eachquiveringwithrestless，twitteringlife，andthenoutintoabackyard，inwhichweretwoorthreerottenoldkennelsandtubs。\"Thatthere’shim，\"hesaid，jerkinghisthumbtothefarthesttub;\"folleredmealltheway’omefromKinsingtonGardens，/he/did。
Kimout，willyer？\"
Andoutofthetubtherecrawledslowly，withasnufflingwhimperandarattlingofitschain，theidenticaldogIhadslainafeweveningsbefore！
Atleast，soIthoughtforamoment，andfeltasifIhadseenaspectre;theresemblancewassoexact——insize，ineverydetail，eventothelittleclumpsofhairaboutthehindparts，eventothelopofhalfanear，thisdogmighthavebeenthe/doppelganger/ofthedeceasedBingo。Isuppose，afterall，oneblackpoodleisverylikeanyotherblackpoodleofthesamesize，butthelikenessstartledme。
Ithinkitwasthenthattheideaoccurredtomethatherewasamiraculouschanceofsecuringthesweetestgirlinthewholeworld，andatthesametimeatoningformywrongbybringingbackgladnesswithmetoShuturgarden。Itonlyneededalittleboldness;onelastdeception，andIcouldembracetruthfulnessoncemore。
Almostunconsciously，whenmyguideturnedroundandasked，\"Isthattheredawgyourn？\"Isaidhurriedly，\"Yes，yes;that’sthedogIwant;
that——that’sBingo！\"
\"Hedon’tseemtobea-puttin’of’isselfoutaboutseein’youagain，\"
observedMr。Blagg，asthepoodlestudiedmewithcalminterest。
\"Oh，he’snotexactly/my/dog，yousee，\"Isaid;\"hebelongstoafriendofmine！\"
Hegavemeaquick，furtiveglance。\"Thenmaybeyou’remistookabouthim，\"hesaid，\"andIcan’trunnorisks。Iwasa-goin’downinthecountrythis’erewerryevenin’toseeapartyaslivesatWistariaWilla;he’sbeena-hadwertisin’aboutablackpoodle，/he/has！\"
\"Butlookhere，\"Isaid;\"that’s/me/。\"
Hegavemeacuriousleer。\"Nooffence，youknow，guv’nor，\"hesaid，\"butIshouldwishforsomeevidenceastothataforeIpartwithavallyabledawglikethis’ere！\"
\"Well，\"Isaid，\"here’soneofmycards;willthatdoforyou？\"
Hetookitandspelleditoutwithapretenceofgreatcaution;butI
sawwellenoughthattheoldschoundrelsuspectedthatifIhadlostadogatallitwasnotthisparticulardog。\"Ah，\"hesaid，asheputitinhispocket，\"ifIpartwithhimtoyouImustbeclearedofallrisks。Ican’taffordtogetintotroubleaboutnomistakes。Unlessyoulikestoleavehimforadayortwoyoumustpayaccordin’，yousee。\"
Iwantedtogetthehatefulbusinessoverassoonaspossible。IdidnotcarewhatIpaid——Lilianwasworthalltheexpense！IsaidIhadnodoubtmyselfastotherealownershipoftheanimal，butIwouldgivehimanysuminreason，andwouldremovethedogatonce。
Andsowesettledit。Ipaidhimanextortionatesum，andcameawaywithaduplicatepoodle，acaninecounterfeit，whichIhopedtopassoffatShuturgardenasthelong-lostBingo。
Iknowitwaswrong，——itevencameunpleasantlyneardog-stealing，——
butIwasadesperateman。IsawLiliangraduallyslippingawayfromme，Iknewthatnothingshortofthiscouldeverrecallher，Iwassorelytempted，Ihadgonefaronthesameroadalready;itwastheoldstoryofbeinghungforasheep。AndsoIfell。
Surelysomewhoreadthiswillbegenerousenoughtoconsiderthepeculiarstateofthecase，andminglealittlepitywiththeircontempt。
Iwasdiningintownthatevening，andtookmypurchasehomebyalatetrain;hisdemeanourwasgraveandintenselyrespectable;hewasnottheanimaltocommithimselfbyanyflagrantindiscretion;hewasgentleandtractabletoo，andinallrespectsanagreeablecontrastincharactertotheoriginal。Still，itmayhavebeentheafter-dinnerworkingsofconscience，butIcouldnothelpfancyingthatIsawacertainlookinthecreature’seyes，asifhewereawarethathewasrequiredtoconniveatafraud，andratherresentedit。
Ifhewouldonlybegoodenoughtobackmeup！Fortunately，however，hewassuchaperfectfacsimileoftheoutwardBingothattheriskofdetectionwasreallyinconsiderable。
WhenIgothimhomeIputBingo’ssilvercollarroundhisneck，congratulatingmyselfonmyforethoughtinpreservingit，andtookhimintoseemymother。Sheacceptedhimaswhatheseemedwithouttheslightestmisgiving;butthis，thoughitencouragedmetogoon，wasnotdecisive——thespuriouspoodlewouldhavetoencounterthescrutinyofthosewhokneweverytuftonthegenuineanimal’sbody！
NothingwouldhaveinducedmetoundergosuchanordealasthatofpersonallyrestoringhimtotheCurries。Wegavehimsupper，andtiedhimuponthelawn，wherehehowleddolefullyallnightandburiedbones。
ThenextmorningIwroteanotetoMrs。Currie，expressingmypleasureatbeingabletorestorethelostone，andanothertoLilian，containingonlythewords，\"Willyoubelieve/now/thatIamsincere？\"
ThenItiedbothroundthepoodle’sneck，anddroppedhimoverthewallintothecolonel’sgardenjustbeforeIstartedtocatchmytraintotown。
Ihadananxiouswalkhomefromthestationthatevening;Iwentroundbythelongerway，tremblingthewholetimelestIshouldmeetanyoftheCurriehousehold，towhichIfeltmyselfentirelyunequaljustthen。IcouldnotrestuntilIknewwhethermyfraudhadsucceeded，orifthepoodletowhichIhadintrustedmyfatehadbaselybetrayedme;
butmysuspensewashappilyendedassoonasIenteredmymother’sroom。\"Youcan’tthinkhowdelightedthosepoorCurriesweretoseeBingoagain，\"shesaidatonce;\"andtheysaidsuchcharmingthingsaboutyou，Algy——Lilianparticularly;quiteaffectedsheseemed，poorchild！Andtheywantedyoutogoroundanddinethereandbethankedto-night，butatlastIpersuadedthemtocometousinstead。Andthey’regoingtobringthedogtomakefriends。Oh，andImetFrankTravers;he’sbackfromcircuitagainnow，soIaskedhimintootomeetthem！\"
Idrewadeepbreathofrelief。Ihadplayedadesperategame，butI
hadwon！Icouldhavewished，tobesure，thatmymotherhadnotthoughtofbringinginTraversonthatofallevenings，butIhopedthatIcoulddefyhimafterthis。
Thecolonelandhispeoplewerethefirsttoarrive，heandhiswifebeingsoeffusivelygratefulthattheymademeveryuncomfortableindeed;Lilianmetmewithdowncasteyesandthefaintestpossibleblush，butshesaidnothingjustthen。Fiveminutesafterward，whensheandIwerealonetogetherintheconservatory，whereIhadbroughtheronpretenceofshowinganewbegonia，shelaidherhandonmysleeveandwhispered，almostshyly，\"Mr。Weatherhead——Algernon！Canyoueverforgivemeforbeingsocruelandunjusttoyou？\"AndI
repliedthat，uponthewhole，Icould。
Wewerenotintheconservatorylong，butbeforeweleftitbeautifulLilianRosebladehadconsentedtomakemylifehappy。Whenwereenteredthedrawing-roomwefoundFrankTravers，whohadbeentoldthestoryoftherecovery;andIobservedhisjawfallasheglancedatourfaces，andnotedthetriumphantsmilewhichIhavenodoubtminewore，andthetender，dreamylookinLilian’ssofteyes。PoorTravers！Iwassorryforhim，althoughIwasnotfondofhim。Traverswasagoodtypeofrisingyoungcommon-lawbarrister，tall，notbad-
looking，withkeendarkeyes，blackwhiskers，andthemobileforensicmouthwhichcanexpresseveryshadeoffeeling，fromdeferentialassenttocynicalincredulity;possessed，too，ofanendlessflowofconversationthatwasdecidedlyagreeable，ifatriflingtoolaboriouslyso，hehadbeenadangerousrival。Butallthatwasovernow;hesawithimselfatonce，andduringdinnersankintodismalsilence，gazingpatheticallyatLilian，andsighingalmostobtrusivelybetweenthecourses。Hisstreamofsmalltalkseemedtohavebeencutoffatthemain。
\"You’vedoneakindthing，Weatherhead，\"saidthecolonel。\"Ican’ttellyouallthatdogistome，andhowImissedthepoorbeast。I’dquitegivenupallhopeofeverseeinghimagain，andallthetimetherewasWeatherhead，Mr。Travers，quietlysearchingallLondontillhefoundhim！Isha’n’tforgetit。Itshowsareallykindfeeling。\"
IsawbyTravers’sfacethathewastellinghimselfhewouldhavefoundfiftyBingosinhalfthetime——ifhehadonlythoughtofit;hesmiledamelancholyassenttoallthecolonelsaid，andthenbegantostudymewithanobviouslydepreciatoryair。
\"Youcan’tthink，\"IheardMrs。Currietellingmymother，\"howreally/touching/itwastoseepoorBingo’semotionatseeingalltheoldfamiliarobjectsagain！Hewentupandsniffedatthemallinturn，quiteplainlyrecognisingeverything。Andhewasquiteputouttofindthatwehadmovedhisfavouriteottomanoutofthedrawing-room。Buthe/is/sopenitenttoo，andsoashamedofhavingrunaway;hekeptunderachairinthehallallthemorning;hewouldn’tcomeinhere，either，sowehadtoleavehiminyourgarden。\"
\"He’sbeensadlyoutofspiritsallday，\"saidLilian;\"hehasn’tbittenoneofthetradespeople。\"
\"Oh，/he’s/allright，therascal！\"saidthecolonel，cheerily。\"He’llbeafterthecatsagainaswellaseverinadayortwo。\"
\"Ah，thosecats！\"saidmypoorinnocentmother。\"Algy，youhaven’ttriedtheair-gunonthemagainlately，haveyou？They’reworsethanever。\"
Itroubledthecoloneltopasstheclaret。Traverslaughedforthefirsttime。\"That’sagoodidea，\"hesaid，inthatcarrying\"bar-mess\"
voiceofhis;\"anair-gunforcats，ha，ha！Makegoodbags，eh，Weatherhead？\"IsaidthatIdid，/very/goodbags，andfeltIwasgettingpainfullyredintheface。
\"Oh，Algyisanexcellentshot——quiteasportsman，\"saidmymother。\"I
remember，oh，longago，whenwelivedatHammersmith，hehadapistol，andheusedtostrewcrumbsinthegardenforthesparrows，andshootatthemoutofthepantrywindow;hefrequentlyhitone。\"
\"Well，\"saidthecolonel，notmuchimpressedbythesesportingreminiscences，\"don’tgorollingoverourBingobymistake，youknow，Weatherhead，myboy。Notbutwhatyou’veasortofrightafterthis——
onlydon’t。Iwouldn’tgothroughitalltwiceforanything。\"
\"Ifyoureallywon’ttakeanymorewine，\"Isaid，hurriedly，addressingthecolonelandTravers，\"supposeweallgooutandhaveourcoffeeonthelawn？It——itwillbecoolerthere。\"Foritwasgettingveryhotindoors，Ithought。
IleftTraverstoamusetheladies——hecoulddonomoreharmnow;and，takingthecolonelaside，Iseizedtheopportunity，aswestrolledupanddownthegardenpath，toaskhisconsenttoLilian’sengagementtome。Hegaveitcordially。\"There’snotamaninEngland，\"hesaid，\"thatI’dsoonerseehermarriedtoafterto-day。You’reaquiet，steadyyoungfellow，andyou’veagoodkindheart。Asforthemoney，that’sneitherherenorthere;Lilianwon’tcometoyouwithoutapenny，youknow。Butreally，myboy，youcanhardlybelievewhatitistomypoorwifeandmetoseethatdog。Why，blessmysoul，lookathimnow！What’sthematterwithhim，eh？\"
Tomyunutterablehorror，Isawthatthatmiserablepoodle，afterbeggingunnoticedatthetea-tableforsometime，hadretiredtoanopenspacebeforeit，wherehewasindustriouslystandingonhishead。
Wegatheredroundandexaminedtheanimalcuriously，ashecontinuedtobalancehimselfgravelyinhisabnormalposition。\"Goodgracious，John，\"criedMrs。Currie，\"IneversawBingodosuchathingbeforeinhislife！\"
\"Veryodd，\"saidthecolonel，puttinguphisglasses;\"neverlearnedthatfrom/me/。\"
\"ItellyouwhatIfancyitis，\"Isuggestedwildly。\"Yousee，hewasalwaysasensitive，excitableanimal，andperhapsthe——thesuddenjoyofhisreturnhasgonetohishead——/upset/him，youknow。\"
Theyseemeddisposedtoacceptthissolution，and，indeed，IbelievetheywouldhavecreditedBingowitheveryconceivabledegreeofsensibility;butIfeltmyselfthatifthisunhappyanimalhadmanymoreoftheseaccomplishmentsIwasundone，fortheoriginalBingohadneverbeenadogofparts。
\"It’sveryodd，\"saidTravers，reflectively，asthedogrecoveredhisproperlevel，\"butIalwaysthoughtthatitwashalfthe/right/earthatBingohadlost。\"
\"Soitis，isn’tit？\"saidthecolonel。\"Left，eh？Well，Ithoughtmyselfitwastheright。\"
Myheartalmoststoppedwithterror;Ihadaltogetherforgottenthat。
Ihastenedtosetthepointatrest。\"Oh，it/was/theleft，\"Isaid，positively;\"IknowitbecauseIremembersoparticularlythinkinghowodditwasthatit/should/betheleftear，andnottheright！\"I
toldmyselfthisshouldbepositivelymylastlie。
\"/Why/odd？\"askedFrankTravers，withhismostoffensiveSocraticmanner。
\"Mydearfellow，Ican’ttellyou，\"Isaid，impatiently;\"everythingseemsoddwhenyoucometothinkatallaboutit。\"
\"Algernon，\"saidLilian，lateron，\"willyoutellAuntMaryandMr。
Traversand——mehowitwasyoucametofindBingo？Mr。Traversisquiteanxioustohearallaboutit。\"
Icouldnotverywellrefuse;Isatdownandtoldthestory，allmyownway。IpaintedBlaggperhapsratherbiggerandblackerthanlife，anddescribedanexcitingscene，inwhichIrecognisedBingobyhiscollarinthestreets，andclaimedandborehimoffthenandthereinspiteofallopposition。
IhadtheinexpressiblepleasureofseeingTraversgrindinghisteethwithenvyasIwenton，andfeelingLilian’ssoft，slenderhandglidesilentlyintomineasItoldmytaleinthetwilight。
Allatonce，justasIreachedtheclimax，weheardthepoodlebarkingfuriouslyatthehedgewhichseparatedmygardenfromtheroad。
\"There’saforeign-lookingmanstaringoverthehedge，\"saidLilian;
\"Bingoalways/did/hateforeigners。\"
Therecertainlywasaswarthymanthere，and，thoughIhadnoreasonforitthen，somehowmyheartdiedwithinmeatthesightofhim。
\"Don’tbealarmed，sir，\"criedthecolonel;\"thedogwon’tbiteyou——
unlessthere’saholeinthehedgeanywhere。\"
Thestrangertookoffhissmallstrawhatwithasweep。\"Ah，Iamnotafraid，\"hesaid，andhisaccentproclaimedhimaFrenchman;\"heisnotenrageatme。MayIask，itispairmeettospeakvizMisterreVezzered？\"
IfeltImustdealwiththispersonalone，forIfearedtheworst;
and，askingthemtoexcuseme，IwenttothehedgeandfacedtheFrenchmanwiththefrightfulcalmofdespair。Hewasashort，stoutlittleman，withbluecheeks，sparklingblackeyes，andavivaciouswalnut-colouredcountenance;heworeashortblackalpacacoat，andalargewhitecravat，withanimmenseovalmalachitebroochinthecentreofit，whichImentionbecauseIfoundmyselfstaringmechanicallyatitduringtheinterview。
\"MynameisWeatherhead，\"Ibeganwiththebearingofadetectedpickpocket。\"CanIbeofanyservicetoyou？\"
\"Ofagreatservice，\"hesaid，emphatically;\"youcanrestoretomezepoodlevichIseezere！\"
Nemesishadcalledatlastintheshapeofarivalclaimant。I
staggeredforaninstant;thenIsaid，\"Oh，Ithinkyouareunderamistake;thatdogisnotmine。\"
\"Iknowit，\"hesaid;\"zere’asbeenleetlemistake，soifzedogisnottoyou，yougivehimbacktome，/hein/？\"
\"Itellyou，\"Isaid，\"thatpoodlebelongstothegentlemanoverthere。\"AndIpointedtothecolonel，seeingthatitwasbestnowtobringhimintotheaffairwithoutdelay。
\"Youarewrong，\"hesaid，doggedly;\"zepoodleismypoodle！AndIwasdirecttoyou——itisyournameonzecarte！\"AndhepresentedmewiththatfatalcardwhichIhadbeenfoolishenoughtogivetoBlaggasaproofofmyidentity。Isawitallnow;theoldvillainhadbetrayedme，andtoearnadoublerewardhadputtherealowneronmytrack。
Idecidedtocallthecolonelatonce，andattempttobrazenitoutwiththehelpofhissincerebeliefinthedog。
\"Eh，what’sthat;what’sitallabout？\"saidthecolonel，bustlingup，followedatintervalsbytheothers。
TheFrenchmanraisedhishatagain。\"Idonotvanttomakeatrouble，\"
hebegan，\"butzereisleetlemistake。Mywordofhonour，sare，Iseemyownpoodleinyourgarden。VenIappealtozisgentilmantorestore’imhereffermetoyou。\"
\"Youmustallowmetoknowmyowndog，sir，\"saidthecolonel。\"Why，I’vehadhimfromapup。Bingo，oldboy，youknowyourname，don’tyou？\"
Butthebruteignoredhimaltogether，andbegantoleapwildlyatthehedgeinfranticeffortstojointheFrenchman。ItneedednoSolomontodecide/his/ownership！
\"Itellyou，you’avegotzewrongpoodle——itismyowndog，myAzor！
Heremembermewell，yousee？Ilosehim，itisthree，fourdays……Iseeanotticezatheisfound，andvenIgotozeaddresszeytellme，’Oh，heisreclaim，heisgonevizastrangairewhohasadvertise。’Zeyshowmezeplacard;Ifollow’ere，andvenI
arriveIseemypoodleinzegardenbeforeme！\"
\"Butlookhere，\"saidthecolonel，impatiently;\"it’sallverywelltosaythat，buthowcanyouproveit？Igiveyou/my/wordthatthedogbelongsto/me/！Youmustproveyourclaim，eh，Travers？\"
\"Yes，\"saidTravers，judicially;\"mereassertionisnoproof;it’soathagainstoathatpresent。\"
\"Attendaninstant;yourpoodle，washe’ighlytrain，hadhesometalents——adogviztricks，eh？\"
\"No，he’snot，\"saidthecolonel;\"Idon’tliketoseedogstaughttoplaythefool;there’snoneofthatnonsenseabout/him/，sir！\"
\"Ah，remarkhimwell，then。/Azor，monchou，dansedoncunpeu/！\"
And，ontheforeigner’swhistlingalivelyair，thatinfernalpoodleroseonhishindlegsanddancedsolemnlyabouthalf-wayroundthegarden！Weinsidefollowedhismovementswithdismay。
\"Why，dashitall！\"criedthedisgustedcolonel，\"he’sdancingalonglikead——dmountebank！Butit’smyBingo，forallthat！\"
\"Youarenotconvince？Youshallseemore。/Azor，ici！PourBeesmarck，Azor！/\"（thepoodlebarkedferociously。）\"/PourGambetta！/\"（Hewaggedhistailandbegantoleapwithjoy。）/\"Meurspourlapatrie！\"Andthetooaccomplishedanimalrolledoverasifkilledinbattle！
\"WherecouldBingohavepickedupsomuchFrench？\"criedLilian，incredulously。
\"OrsomuchFrenchhistory？\"addedthatserpent，Travers。
\"ShallIcommand’imtojump，orreverse’imself？\"inquiredtheobligingFrenchman。
\"We’veseenthat，thankyou，\"saidthecolonel，gloomily。\"Uponmyword，Idon’tknowwhattothink。Itcan’tbethatthat’snotmyBingoafterall——I’llneverbelieveit！\"
Itriedalastdesperatestroke。\"Willyoucomeroundtothefront？\"I
saidtotheFrenchman。\"I’llletyouin，andwecandiscussthematterquietly。\"Then，aswewalkedbacktogether，Iaskedhimeagerlywhathewouldtaketoabandonhisclaimsandletthecolonelthinkthepoodlewashisafterall。
Hewasfurious——heconsideredhimselfinsulted;withgreatemotionheinformedmethatthedogwastheprideofhislife（itseemstobethemissionofblackpoodlestoserveasdomesticcomfortsofthispricelesskind！），thathewouldnotpartwithhimfortwicehisweightingold。
\"Figure，\"hebegan，aswejoinedtheothers，\"zatzisgentilman’ere’asoffermemoneyforzedog！Heagreeszatitistome，yousee？
Ver’well，zen，zereisnomoretobesaid！\"
\"Why，Weatherhead，have/you/lostfaithtoo，then？\"saidthecolonel。
Isawitwasnogood;allIwantednowwastogetoutofitcreditablyandgetridoftheFrenchman。\"I’msorrytosay，\"Ireplied，\"thatI’mafraidI’vebeendeceivedbytheextraordinarylikeness。Idon’tthink，onreflection，thatthat/is/Bingo！\"
\"Whatdoyouthink，Travers？\"askedthecolonel。
\"Well，sinceyouaskme，\"saidTravers，withquiteunnecessarydryness，\"Ineverdidthinkso。\"
\"NorI，\"saidthecolonel;\"IthoughtfromthefirstthatwasnevermyBingo。Why，Bingowouldmaketwoofthatbeast！\"
AndLilianandherauntbothprotestedthattheyhadhadtheirdoubtsfromthefirst。
\"ZenyoupairmeetzatIremove’im？\"saidtheFrenchman。
\"Certainly，\"saidthecolonel;and，aftersomeapologiesonourpartforthemistake，hewentoffintriumph，withthedetestablepoodlefriskingafterhim。
Whenhehadgonethecolonellaidhishandkindlyonmyshoulder。
\"Don’tlooksocutupaboutit，myboy，\"hesaid;\"youdidyourbest——
therewasasortoflikenesstoanyonewhodidn’tknowBingoaswedid。\"
JustthentheFrenchmanagainappearedatthehedge。\"Athousandpardons，\"hesaid，\"butIfindzisuponmydog;itisnottome。
Suffermetorestoreitvizmanycompliments。\"
ItwasBingo’scollar。Traverstookitfromhishandandbroughtittous。
\"Thiswasonthedogwhenyoustoppedthatfellow，didn’tyousay？\"heaskedme。
Onemorelie——andIwassowearyoffalsehood！\"Y-yes，\"Isaid，reluctantly;\"thatwasso。\"
\"Veryextraordinary，\"saidTravers;\"that’sthewrongpoodlebeyondadoubt，butwhenhe’sfoundhe’swearingtherightdog’scollar！Nowhowdoyouaccountforthat？\"
\"Mygoodfellow，\"Isaid，impatiently，\"I’mnotinthewitness-box。I
/can’t/accountforit。It-it’samerecoincidence！\"
\"Butlookhere，my/dear/Weatherhead，\"arguedTravers（whetheringoodfaithornotInevercouldquitemakeout），\"don’tyouseewhatatremendouslyimportantlinkitis？Here’sadogwho（asIunderstandthefacts）hadasilvercollar，withhisnameengravedonit，roundhisneckatthetimehewaslost。Here’sthatidenticalcollarturningupsoonafterwardroundtheneckofatotallydifferentdog！Wemustfollowthisup;wemustgetatthebottomofitsomehow！Withacluelikethis，we’resuretofindouteitherthedoghimself，orwhat’sbecomeofhim！Justtrytorecollectexactlywhathappened，there’sagoodfellow。ThisisjustthesortofthingIlike！\"
ItwasthesortofthingIdidnotenjoyatall。\"Youmustexcusemeto-night，Travers，\"Isaid，uncomfortably;\"yousee，justnowit’sratherasoresubjectforme，andI’mnotfeelingverywell！\"IwasgratefuljustthenforareassuringglanceofpityandconfidencefromLilian’ssweeteyes，whichrevivedmydroopingspiritsforthemoment。
\"Yes，we’llgointoitto-morrow，Travers，\"saidthecolonel;\"andthen——hullo，why，there’sthatconfoundedFrenchman/again/！\"
Itwasindeed;hecameprancingbackdelicately，withamaliciousenjoymentonhiswrinkledface。\"OncemoreIreturntoapologise，\"hesaid。\"Mypoodle’aspermit’imselfzegraveindiscretiontomakeaverybig’oleatzebottomofzegarden！\"
Iassuredhimthatitwasofnoconsequence。\"Perhaps，\"hereplied，lookingsteadilyatmethroughhiskeen，half-shuteyes，\"youvillnotsayzatvenyouregardze’ole。Andyouothers，Ispiktoyou：
sometimesvonlosesasomzingvichisqvitenearallzetime。Itisver’droll，eh？myvord，ha，ha，ha！\"Andheambledoff，withanaggressivelyfiendishlaughthatchilledmyblood。
\"Whatthedeucedidhemeanbythat，eh？\"saidthecolonel，blankly。
\"Don’tknow，\"saidTravers;\"supposewegoandinspectthehole？\"
ButbeforethatIhadcontrivedtodrawnearitmyself，indeadlyfearlesttheFrenchman’slastwordshadcontainedsomeinnuendowhichI
hadnotunderstood。
Itwaslightenoughstillformetoseesomething，attheunexpectedhorrorofwhichIverynearlyfainted。
ThatthriceaccursedpoodlewhichIhadbeeninsaneenoughtoattempttofoistuponthecolonelmust，itseems，haveburiedhissupperthenightbeforeverynearthespotinwhichIhadlaidBingo，andinhisattemptstoexhumehisbonehadbroughttheremainsofmyvictimtothesurface！
Therethecorpselay，ontheverytopoftheexcavations。Timehadnot，ofcourse，improveditsappearance，whichwasghastlyintheextreme，butstillplainlyrecognisablebytheeyeofaffection。
\"It’saveryordinaryhole，\"Igasped，puttingmyselfbeforeitandtryingtoturnthemback。\"Nothinginit——nothingatall！\"
\"ExceptoneAlgernonWeatherhead，Esq。，eh？\"whisperedTravers，jocosely，inmyear。
\"No;but，\"persistedthecolonel，advancing，\"lookhere！Hasthedogdamagedanyofyourshrubs？\"
\"No，no！\"Icried，piteously;\"quitethereverse。Let’sallgoindoorsnow;it’sgettingsocold！\"
\"See，there/is/ashruborsomethinguprooted，\"saidthecolonel，stillcomingnearerthatfatalhole。\"Why，hullo，lookthere！What’sthat？\"
Lilian，whowasbyhisside，gaveaslightscream。\"Uncle，\"shecried，\"itlookslike——like/Bingo/！\"
Thecolonelturnedsuddenlyuponme。\"Doyouhear？\"hedemanded，inachokedvoice。\"Youhearwhatshesays？Can’tyouspeakout？IsthatourBingo？\"
Igaveitupatlast;Ionlylongedtobeallowedtocrawlawayundersomething！\"Yes，\"Isaidinadullwhisper，asIsatdownheavilyonagardenseat，\"yes……that’sBingo……misfortune……shoothim……quiteanaccident！\"
Therewasaterribleexplosionafterthat;theysawatlasthowIhaddeceivedthem，andputtheveryworstconstructionuponeverything。
EvennowIwritheimpotentlyattimes，andmycheekssmartandtinglewithhumiliation，asIrecallthatscene——thecolonel’sveryplainspeaking，Lilian’spassionatereproachesandcontempt，andheraunt’sspeechlessprostrationofdisappointment。
Imadenoattempttodefendmyself;Iwasnot，perhaps，thecompletevillaintheydeemedme，butIfeltdullythatnodoubtitallservedmeperfectlyright。
StillIdonotthinkIamunderanyobligationtoputtheirremarksdowninblackandwhitehere。
Travershadvanishedatthefirstopportunity——whetheroutofdelicacy，orthefearofbreakingoutintounseasonablemirth，I
cannotsay;andshortlyafterwardtheotherscametowhereIsatsilentwithbowedhead，andbademeasternandfinalfarewell。
Andthen，asthelastgleamofLilian’swhitedressvanisheddownthegardenpath，Ilaidmyheaddownonthetableamongthecoffee-cups，andcriedlikeabeatenchild。
IgotleaveassoonasIcould，andwentabroad。ThemorningaftermyreturnInoticed，whileshaving，thattherewasasmallsquaremarbletabletplacedagainstthewallofthecolonel’sgarden。Igotmyopera-glassandread——andpleasantreadingitwas——thefollowinginscription：
INAFFECTIONATEMEMORY
OF
BINGO，SECRETLYANDCRUELLYPUTTODEATH，INCOLDBLOOD，BYA
NEIGHBOURANDFRIEND。
JUNE，1881。
Ifthisexplanationofmineeverreachesmyneighbours’eyes，Ihumblyhopetheywillhavethehumanityeithertotakeawayortonedownthattablet。TheycannotconceivewhatIsufferwhencuriousvisitorsinsist，astheydoeveryday，onspellingoutthewordsfromourwindows，andaskingmecountlessquestionsaboutthem！
SometimesImeettheCurriesaboutthevillage，andastheypassmewithavertedheadsIfeelmyselfgrowingcrimson。TraversisalmostalwayswithLiliannow。Hehasgivenheradog，——afox-terrier，——andtheytakeostentatiouslyelaborateprecautionstokeepitoutofmygarden。
Ishouldliketoassurethemherethattheyneednotbeunderanyalarm。Ihaveshotonedog。
THATBRUTESIMMONS
BY
ARTHURMORRISON
Simmons’sinfamousbehaviourtowardhiswifeisstillmatterforprofoundwondermentamongtheneighbours。Theotherwomenhadallalongregardedhimasamodelhusband，andcertainlyMrs。Simmonswasamostconscientiouswife。Shetoiledandslavedforthatman，asanywomaninthewholestreetwouldhavemaintained，farmorethananyhusbandhadarighttoexpect。Andnowthiswaswhatshegotforit。
Perhapshehadsuddenlygonemad。
BeforeshemarriedSimmons，Mrs。SimmonshadbeenthewidowedMrs。
Ford。Fordhadgotaberthasdonkeymanonatrampsteamer，andthatsteamerhadgonedownwithallhandsofftheCape：ajudgment，thewidowwomanfeared，forlongyearsofcontumacy，whichhadculminatedinthewickednessoftakingtothesea，andtakingtoitasadonkeyman——animmeasurablefallforacapableengine-fitter。TwelveyearsasMrs。Fordhadleftherstillchildless，andchildlesssheremainedasMrs。Simmons。
AsforSimmons，he，itwasheld，wasfortunateinthatcapablewife。
Hewasamoderatelygoodcarpenterandjoiner，butnomanoftheworld，andhewantedone。NobodycouldtellwhatmightnothavehappenedtoTommySimmonsiftherehadbeennoMrs。Simmonstotakecareofhim。Hewasameekandquietman，withaboyishfaceandsparse，limpwhiskers。Hehadnovices（evenhispipedepartedhimafterhismarriage），andMrs。Simmonshadingraftedonhimdiversexoticvirtues。HewentsolemnlytochapeleverySunday，underatallhat，andputapenny——onereturnedtohimforthepurposeoutofhisweek’swages——intheplate。Then，Mrs。Simmonsoverseeing，hetookoffhisbestclothes，andbrushedthemwithsolicitudeandpains。OnSaturdayafternoonshecleanedtheknives，theforks，theboots，thekettles，andthewindows，patientlyandconscientiously;onTuesdayeveningshetooktheclothestothemangling;andonSaturdaynightsheattendedMrs。Simmonsinhermarketing，tocarrytheparcels。
Mrs。Simmons’sownvirtueswerenativeandnumerous。Shewasawonderfulmanager。EverypennyofTommy’sthirty-sixorthirty-eightshillingsaweekwasbestowedtothegreatestadvantage，andTommyneverventuredtoguesshowmuchofitshesaved。Hercleanlinessinhousewiferywasdistractingtobehold。ShemetSimmonsatthefrontdoorwheneverhecamehome，andthenandtherehechangedhisbootsforslippers，balancinghimselfpainfullyonalternatefeetonthecoldflags。Thiswasbecauseshescrubbedthepassageanddoor-stepturnaboutwiththewifeofthedownstairsfamily，andbecausethestair-carpetwasherown。Shevigilantlysupervisedherhusbandallthroughtheprocessof\"cleaninghimself\"afterwork，soastocomebetweenherwallsandthepossibilityofrandomsplashes;andif，inspiteofherdiligence，aspotremainedtotellthetale，shewasatpainstoimpressthefactonSimmons’smemory，andtosetforthatlengthallthecircumstancesofhisungratefulselfishness。Inthebeginningshehadalwaysescortedhimtotheready-madeclothesshop，andhadselectedandpaidforhisclothes，forthereasonthatmenaresuchperfectfools，andshopkeepersdoastheylikewiththem。Butshepresentlyimprovedonthat。Shefoundamansellingcheapremnantsatastreet-corner，andstraightwaysheconceivedtheideaofmakingSimmons’sclothesherself。Decisionwasoneofhervirtues，andasuitofuproariouschecktweedswasbegunthatafternoonfromthepatternfurnishedbyanoldone。More：itwasfinishedbySunday，whenSimmons，overcomebyastonishmentatthefeat，wasenduedinit，andpushedofftochapelerehecouldrecoverhissenses。Thethingswerenotaltogethercomfortable，hefound：thetrousershungtightagainsthisshins，buthungloosebehindhisheels;andwhenhesat，itwasonawildernessofhardfoldsandseams。Also，hiswaistcoatcollartickledhisnape，buthiscoatcollarwentstrainingacrossfromshouldertoshoulder;whilethemaingarmentbaggedgenerouslybelowhiswaist。Usemadeahabitofhisdiscomfort，butitneverreconciledhimtothechaffofhisshopmates;for，asMrs。Simmonselaboratedsuccessivesuits，eachonemodelledonthelast，theprimalaccidentsofherdesigndevelopedintoprinciples，andgrewevenbolderandmorehideouslypronounced。ItwasvainforSimmonstohint——ashinthedid——thatheshouldn’tlikehertooverworkherself，tailoringbeingbadfortheeyes，andtherewasanewtailor’sintheMileEndRoad，verycheap，where……\"Hoyus，\"sheretorted，\"you’reveryconsid’ritI
dessaysittin’thereactin’alivin’liebeforeyourownwifeThomasSimmonsasthoughIcouldn’tseethroughyoulikeabookalotyoucareaboutoverworkin’measlongas/your/turn’sservedthrowin’
awaymoneylikedirtinthestreetonaloto’swindlin’tailorsan’
meworkin’and’slavin’’eretosavea’a’pennyan’thisismyreturnforitanyone’udthinkyoucouldpickupmoneyinthe’orse-roadan’
Ib’lieveI’dbethoughtbetterofifIlaidinbedalldaylikesomewouldthatIdo。\"SothatThomasSimmonsavoidedthesubject，norevenmurmuredwhensheresolvedtocuthishair。
Sohisplacidfortuneenduredforyears。ThentherecameagoldensummereveningwhenMrs。Simmonsbetookherselfwithabaskettodosomesmallshopping，andSimmonswasleftathome。Hewashedandputawaythetea-things，andthenhefelltomeditatingonanewpairoftrousers，finishedthatday，andhangingbehindtheparlourdoor。
Theretheyhung，inalltheirdecentinnocenceofshapeintheseat，andtheywereshorterofleg，longerofwaist，andwilderofpatternthanhehadeverwornbefore。AndashelookedonthemthesmalldevilofOriginalSinawokeandclamouredinhisbreast。Hewasashamedofit，ofcourse，forwellheknewthegratitudeheowedhiswifeforthosesametrousers，amongotherblessings。Still，therethesmalldevilwas，andthesmalldevilwasfertileinbasesuggestions，andcouldnotbekeptfromhintingatthenewcropofworkshopgibesthatwouldspringatTommy’sfirstpublicappearanceinsuchthings。
\"Pitch’eminthedust-bin！\"saidthesmalldevilatlast。\"It’sallthey’refitfor。\"
Simmonsturnedawayinsheerhorrorofhiswickedself，andforamomentthoughtofwashingthetea-thingsoveragainbywayofdiscipline。Thenhemadeforthebackroom，butsawfromthelandingthatthefrontdoorwasstandingopen，probablythefaultofthechilddownstairs。NowafrontdoorstandingopenwasathingthatMrs。
Simmonswould/not/abide：itlookedlow。SoSimmonswentdown，thatshemightnotbewrothwithhimforthethingwhenshecameback;and，asheshutthedoor，helookedforthintothestreet。
Amanwasloiteringonthepavement，andpryingcuriouslyaboutthedoor。Hisfacewastanned，hishandsweredeepinthepocketsofhisunbracedbluetrousers，andwellbackonhisheadheworethehigh-crownedpeakedcap，toppedwithaknobofwool，whichisaffectedbyJackashoreaboutthedocks。Helurchedastepnearertothedoor，and\"Mrs。Fordain’tin，isshe？\"hesaid。
Simmonsstaredathimforamatteroffiveseconds，andthensaid，\"Eh？\"
\"Mrs。Fordaswas，then——Simmonsnow，ain’tit？\"
HesaidthiswithafurtiveleerthatSimmonsneitherlikednorunderstood。