InsomeofhisbilletshetoldLewis\"ThatJohnBullwasunderhisguardianship;thatthebestpartofhisservantswereathiscommand;thathecouldhaveJohngaggedandboundwheneverhepleasedbythepeopleofhisownfamily。\"Inalltheseepistles，blockhead，dunce，ass，coxcomb，werethebestepithetshegavepoorJohn。Inothershethreatened，*\"Thathe，EsquireSouth，andtherestofthetradesmen，wouldlayLewisdownuponhisbackandbeatouthisteethifhedidnotretireimmediatelyandbreakuptheMeeting。\"
*ThreateningthattheallieswouldcarryonthewarwithoutthehelpoftheEnglish。
IfancyIneednottellmyreaderthatJohnoftenchangedcolourasheread，andthathisfingersitchedtogiveNic。agoodslaponthechops，buthewiselymoderatedhischolerictemper。*\"Isavedthisfellow，\"quothhe，\"fromthegallowswhenheranawayfromhislastmaster，becauseIthoughthewasharshlytreated;buttheroguewasnosoonersafeundermyprotectionthanhebegantolie，pilfer，andsteallikethedevil。WhenIfirstsethimupinawarmhousehehadhardlyputuphissignwhenhebegantodebauchmybestcustomersfromme。*Thenitwashisconstantpracticetorobmyfish-ponds，notonlytofeedhisfamily，buttotradewiththefishmongers。Iconnivedatthefellowtillhebegantotellmethattheywerehisasmuchasmine。Inmymanorof*Eastcheap，becauseitlayatsomedistancefrommyconstantinspection，hebrokedownmyfences，robbedmyorchards，andbeatmyservants。
*ComplaintsagainsttheDutchforencroachmentintrade，fishery，EastIndies，etc。ThewarwiththeDutchontheseaccounts。
\"WhenIusedtoreprimandhimforhistrickshewouldtalksaucily，lie，andbrazenitoutasifhehaddonenothingamiss。’Willnothingcuretheeofthypranks，Nic。？’quothI;’Ishallbeforcedsometimeorothertochastisethee。’Theroguegotuphiscaneandthreatenedme，andwaswellthwackedforhispains。ButIthinkhisbehaviouratthistimeworstofall;afterIhavealmostdrownedmyselftokeephisheadabovewater，hewouldleavemestickinginthemud，trustingtohisgoodnesstohelpmeout。AfterIhavebeggaredmyselfwithhistroublesomelawsuit，withaplaguetohim！
hetakesitinmightydudgeonbecauseIhavebroughthimheretoendmattersamicably，andbecauseIwon’tlethimmakemeoverbydeedandindentureashislawfulcully，whichtomycertainknowledgehehasattemptedseveraltimes。But，afterall，canstthougathergrapesfromthorns？Nic。doesnotpretendtobeagentleman;heisatradesman，aself-seekingwretch。Buthowcamestthoutohearallthis，John？Thereasonisplain;thouconferrestthebenefitsandhereceivesthem;thefirstproduceslove，andthelastingratitude。
AhNic。，Nic。，thouartadamneddog，that’scertain;thouknowesttoowellthatIwilltakecareofthee，elsethouwouldstnotusemethus。Iwon’tgivetheeup，itistrue;butastrueasitis，thoushaltnotsellme，accordingtothylaudablecustom。\"WhileJohnwasdeepinthissoliloquyNic。brokeoutintothefollowingprotestation：——
\"Gentlemen，——Ibelieveeverybodyherepresentwillallowmetobeaveryjustanddisinterestedperson。MyfriendJohnBullhereisveryangrywithme，forsooth，becauseIwon’tagreetohisfoolishbargains。NowIdeclaretoallmankindIshouldbereadytosacrificemyownconcernstohisquiet，butthecareofhisinterest，andthatofthehonesttradesmen*thatareembarkedwithus，keepsmefromenteringintothiscomposition。Whatshallbecomeofthosepoorcreatures？Thethoughtsoftheirimpendingruindisturbmynight’srest;thereforeIdesiretheymayspeakforthemselves。Iftheyarewillingtogiveupthisaffair，Isha’n’tmaketwowordsofit。\"
*TheAllies。
JohnBullbeggedhimtolayasidethatimmoderateconcernforhim，andwithalputhiminmindthattheinterestofthosetradesmenhadnotsatquitesoheavyuponhimsomeyearsagoonalikeoccasion。
Nic。answeredlittletothat，butimmediatelypulledoutaboatswain’swhistle。Uponthefirstwhiffthetradesmencamejumpingintotheroom，andbegantosurroundLewislikesomanyyelpingcursaboutagreatboar;or，touseamodestersimile，likedunsatagreatlord’sleveethemorninghegoesintothecountry。
Onepulledhimbyhissleeve，anotherbytheskirt，athirdhallooedintheear。Theybegantoaskhimforallthathadbeentakenfromtheirforefathersbystealth，fraud，force，orlawfulpurchase。
Someaskedformanors，othersforacresthatlayconvenientforthem;thathewouldpulldownhisfences，levelhisditches。Allagreedinonecommondemandthatheshouldbepurged，sweated，vomited，andstarved，tillhecametoasizeablebulklikethatofhisneighbours。Onemodestlyaskedhimleavetocallhimbrother。
Nic。Frogdemandedtwothings——tobehisporterandhisfishmonger，tokeepthekeysofhisgatesandfurnishthekitchen。John’ssisterPegonlydesiredthathewouldlethisservantssingpsalmsa-Sundays。Somedescendedeventotheaskingofoldclothes，shoesandboots，brokenbottles，tobacco-pipes，andendsofcandles。
\"MonsieurBull，\"quothLewis，\"youseemtobeamanofsomebreeding;forGod’ssakeuseyourinterestwiththeseMessieurs，thattheywouldspeakbutoneatonce;forifonehadahundredpairofhands，andasmanytongues，hecannotsatisfythemallatthisrate。\"Johnbeggedtheymightproceedwithsomemethod;thentheystoppedallofasuddenandwouldnotsayaword。\"Ifthisbeyourplay，\"quothJohn，\"thatwemaynotbelikeaQuaker’sdumbmeeting，letusbeginsomediversion;whatd’yethinkofrouly-poulyoracountrydance？Whatifweshouldhaveamatchatfootball？Iamsureweshallneverendmattersatthisrate。\"
CHAPTERXVI。HowJohnBullandNic。FrogsettledtheirAccounts。
JOHNBULL。——Duringthisgeneralcessationoftalk，whatifyouandI，Nic。，shouldinquirehowmoneymattersstandbetweenus？
NIC。FROG。——Withallmyheart;Iloveexactdealing。AndletHocusaudit;heknowshowthemoneywasdisbursed。
JOHNBULL。——Iamnotmuchforthatatpresent;we’llsettleitbetweenourselves。Fairandsquare，Nic。，keepsfriendstogether。
Therehavebeenlaidoutinthislawsuit，atonetime，36，OOOpoundsand4O，OOOcrowns。InsomecasesI，inothersyou，bearthegreatestproportion。
NICFROG。——Right;Ipaythree-fifthsofthegreatestnumber，andyoupaytwo-thirdsofthelessernumber。Ithinkthisisfairandsquare，asyoucallit。
JOHNBULL。——Well，goon。
NICFROG。——Two-thirdsof36，OOOpoundsare24，OOOpoundsforyourshare，andthereremains12，OOOformine。Again，ofthe4O，OOO
crownsIpay24，OOO，whichisthree-fifths，andyoupayonly16，OOO，whichistwo-fifths;24，OOOcrownsmake6，OOOpounds，and16，OOO
crownsmake4，OOOpounds;12，OOOand16，OOOmake18，OOO，24，OOOand4，OOOmake28，OOO。Sothereare18，OOOpoundstomyshareoftheexpenses，and28，OOOtoyours。
AfterNic。hadbamboozledJohnawhileaboutthe18，OOOandthe28，OOO，Johncalledforcounters;butwhatwithsleightofhand，andtakingfromhisownscoreandaddingtoJohn’s，Nic。broughtthebalancealwaysonhisownside。
JOHNBULL。——Nay，goodfriendNic。，thoughIamnotquitesonimbleinthefingers，Iunderstandcipheringaswellasyou。Iwillproduceyoumyaccountsonebyone，fairlywritoutofmyownbooks;
andhereIbeginwiththefirst。YoumustexcusemeifIdon’tpronouncethelawtermsright。
[Johnreads。]
Fortheexpensesordinaryofthesuits，feestojudges，puisnejudges，lawyersinnumerableofallsorts：——
Ofextraordinaries，asfollowsperaccount……
ToEsquireSouth’saccountforpostterminums……
Todittofornonestfactums……
Todittofornoliprosequis，discontinuance，andretraxit……
Forwritsoferror……
Suitsofconditionsunperformed……
ToHocusfordedimusprotestatem……
Todittoforacapiasadcomputandum……
ToFrog’snewtenantsperaccounttoHocus，forauditaquerelas……
Onthesaidaccountforwritsofejectmentanddistringas……
ToEsquireSouth’squotaforareturnofanonestinventandnullahabetbona……
To——-forapardoninformapauperis……
ToJackforameliusinquirendumuponafelo-de-se……
Tocoach-hire……
Fortreatstojuriesandwitnesses……
Johnhavingreadoverhisarticles，withtherespectivesums，broughtinFrogdebtortohimuponthebalance，3，382pounds12
shillings。
ThenNic。Frogpulledhisbilloutofhispocket，andbegantoread。
NicholasFrog’sAccount。
RemainstobedeductedoutoftheformerAccount。
PaidbyNic。Frogforhisshareoftheordinaryexpensesofthesuit……
ToHocusforentriesofaregeinconsulto……
ToJohnBull’snephewforavenirefacias，themoneynotyetalllaidout……
Thecoach-hireformywifeandfamily，andthecarriageofmygoodsduringthetimeofthislawsuit……
Fortheextraordinaryexpensesoffeedingmyfamilyduringthislawsuit……
ToMajorAb……
ToMajorWill……
Andsummingallup，founddueuponthebalancebyJohnBulltoNic。
Frog，9pounds4shillingsand6pence。
JOHNBULL。——Asforyourvenirefacias，Ihavepaidyouforonealready;intheotherIbelieveyouwillbenonsuited。I’lltakecareofmynephewmyself。Yourcoach-hireandfamilychargesaremostunreasonabledeductions;atthatrate，Icanbringinanymanintheworldmydebtor。Butwhothedevilarethosetwomajorsthatconsumeallmymoney？Ifindtheyalwaysrunawaywiththebalanceinallaccounts。
NIC。FROG。——Twoveryhonestgentlemen，Iassureyou，thathavedonemesomeservice。Totellyouplainly，MajorAb。denotesthygreaterability，andMajorWill。thygreaterwillingnesstocarryonthislawsuit。Itwasbutreasonablethoushouldstpaybothforthypowerandthypositiveness。
JOHNBULL。——IbelieveIshallhavethosetwohonestmajors’discountonmysideinalittletime。
NIC。FROG。——Whyallthishigglingwiththyfriendaboutsuchapaltrysum？DoesthisbecomethegenerosityofthenobleandrichJohnBull？Iwonderthouartnotashamed。Oh，Hocus！Hocus！whereartthou？Itusedtogoanother-guessmannerinthytime。Whenapoormanhasalmostundonehimselfforthysake，thouartforfleecinghim，andfleecinghim。Isthatthyconscience，John？
JOHNBULL。——Verypleasant，indeed！Itiswellknownthouretainestthylawyersbytheyear，soafreshlawsuitaddsbutlittletothyexpenses;theyarethycustomers;*Ihardlyeversellthemafarthing’s-worthofanything。Nay，thouhastsetupaneating-house，wherethewholetribeofthemspendalltheycanraporrun。Ifitwerewellreckoned，Ibelievethougettestmoreofmymoneythanthouspendestofthyown。However，ifthouwiltneedspleadpoverty，ownatleastthatthyaccountsarefalse。
*ThemoneyspentinHollandandFlanders。
NIC。FROG。——No，marrywon’tI;Irefermyselftothesehonestgentlemen——letthemjudgebetweenus。LetEsquireSouthspeakhismind，whethermyaccountsarenotright，andwhetherweoughtnottogoonwithourlawsuit。
JOHNBULL。——ConsultthebutchersaboutkeepingofLent。DostthinkthatJohnBullwillbetriedbypiepowders？Itellyou，onceforall，JohnBullknowswherehisshoepinches。Noneofyouresquiresshallgivehimthelawaslongashewearsthistrustyweaponbyhisside，orhasaninchofbroadclothinhisshop。
NIC。FROG。——Why，thereitis：youwillbebothjudgeandparty。I
amsorrythoudiscoverestsomuchofthyheadstronghumourbeforethesestrangegentlemen;Ihaveoftentoldtheeitwouldprovethyruinsometimeorother。LetitneverbesaidthatthefamousJohnBullhasdepartedindespiteofCourt。
JOHNBULL。——Andwillitnotreflectasmuchonthycharacter，Nic。，toturnbarretterinthyolddays——astirrer-upofquarrelsamongstthyneighbours？Itellthee，Nic。，sometimeorotherthouwiltrepentthis。
ButJohnsawclearlyheshouldhavenothingbutwrangling，andthatheshouldhaveaslittlesuccessinsettlinghisaccountsasendingthecomposition。\"Sincetheywillneedsoverloadmyshoulders，\"
quothJohn，\"Ishallthrowdowntheburdenwithasquashamongstthem，takeitupwhodares。Amanhasafinetimeofitamongstacombinationofsharpersthatvouchforoneanother’shonesty。John，looktothyself;oldLewismakesreasonableoffers。Whenthouhastspentthesmallpittancethatisleft，thouwiltmakeagloriousfigurewhenthouartbroughttoliveuponNic。FrogandEsquireSouth’sgenerosityandgratitude。Iftheyusetheethuswhentheywantthee，whatwilltheydowhenthouwantestthem？Isayagain，John，looktothyself。\"
Johnwiselystifledhisresentments，andtoldthecompanythatinalittletimeheshouldgivethemlaw，orsomethingbetter。
ALL。——*Law！law！sir，byallmeans。Whatistwenty-twopooryearstowardsthefinishingalawsuit？FortheloveofGod，morelaw，sir！
*Clamoursforcontinuingthewar。
JOHNBULL。——Prepareyourdemandshowmanyyearsmoreoflawyouwant，thatImayordermyaffairsaccordingly。Inthemeanwhile，farewell。
CHAPTERXVII。HowJohnBullfoundallhisFamilyinanUproaratHome。*
Nic。Frog，whothoughtofnothingbutcarryingJohntothemarket，andtheredisposingofhimashisownpropergoods，wasmadtofindthatJohnthoughthimselfnowofagetolookafterhisownaffairs。
Heresolvedtotraversethisnewproject，andtomakehimuneasyinhisownfamily。Hehadcorruptedordeludedmostofhisservantsintothemostextravagantconceitsintheworld：thattheirmasterwasrunmad，andworeadaggerinonepocketandpoisonintheother;thathehadsoldhiswifeandchildrentoLewis，disinheritedhisheir，andwasgoingtosettlehisestateuponaparish-boy;thatiftheydidnotlookaftertheirmaster，hewoulddosomeverymischievousthing。WhenJohncamehome，hefoundamoresurprisingscenethananyhehadyetmetwith，andthatyouwillsaywassomewhatextraordinary。
*Clamoursaboutthedangerofthesuccession。
Hecalledhiscook-maidBettytobespeakhisdinner。Bettytoldhim\"Thatshebeggedhispardon，shecouldnotdressdinnertillsheknewwhatheintendedtodowithhiswill。\"\"Why，Betty，\"quothJohn，\"thouartnotrunmad，artthou？Mywillatpresentistohavedinner。\"\"Thatmaybe，\"quothBetty，\"butmyconsciencewon’tallowmetodressittillIknowwhetheryouintendtodorighteousthingsbyyourheir。\"\"Iamsorryforthat，Betty，\"quothJohn;\"I
mustfindsomebodyelse，then。\"ThenhecalledJohnthebarber。
\"BeforeIbegin，\"quothJohn，\"Ihopeyourhonourwon’tbeoffendedifIaskyouwhetheryouintendtoalteryourwill？Ifyouwon’tgivemeapositiveansweryourbeardmaygrowdowntoyourmiddleforme。\"\"’Igad，soitshall，\"quothBull，\"forIwillnevertrustmythroatinsuchamadfellow’shands。Where’sDickthebutler？\"
\"Lookye，\"quothDick，\"Iamverywillingtoserveyouinmycalling，d’yousee，buttherearestrangereports，andplain-dealingisbest，d’yesee。ImustbesatisfiedifyouintendtoleavealltoyournephewandifNic。Frogisstillyourexecutor，d’yesee。
Ifyouwillnotsatisfymeastothesepointsyoumaydrinkwiththeducks。\"\"AndsoIwill，\"quothJohn，\"ratherthankeepabutlerthatlovesmyheirbetterthanmyself。\"Hobtheshoemaker，andPricketthetailor，toldhimtheywouldmostwillinglyservehimintheirseveralstationsifhewouldpromisethemnevertotalkwithLewisBaboon，andletNicholasFrog，linen-draper，managehisconcerns;thattheycouldneithermakeshoesnorclothestoanythatwerenotingoodcorrespondencewiththeirworthyfriendNicholas。
JOHNBULL。——CallAndrew，myjourneyman。Howgoesaffairs，Andrew？
Ihopethedevilhasnottakenpossessionofthybodytoo。
ANDREW。——No，sir;Ionlydesiretoknowwhatyouwoulddoifyouweredead？
JOHNBULL。——Justasotherdeadfolksdo，Andrew。[Aside。]Thisisamazing！
ANDREW。——Imeanifyournephewshallinherityourestate。
JOHNBULL。——Thatdependsuponhimself。Ishalldonothingtohinderhim。
ANDREW。——Butwillyoumakeitsure？
JOHNBULL。——ThoumeanestthatIshouldputhiminpossession，forI
canmakeitnosurerwithoutthat。Hehasallthelawcangivehim。
ANDREW。——Indeed，possession，asyousay，wouldmakeitmuchsurer。
Theysayitiselevenpointsofthelaw。
Johnbegannowtothinkthattheywereallenchanted。Heinquiredabouttheageofthemoon，ifNic。hadnotgiventhemsomeintoxicatingpotion，orifoldMotherJenisawasstillalive？\"No，o’myfaith，\"quothHarry，\"Ibelievethereisnopotioninthecasebutalittleaurumpotabile。Youwillhavemoreofthisby-and-by。\"
HehadscarcespokenthewordwhenanotherfriendofJohn’saccostedhimafterthefollowingmanner：——
\"Sincethoseworthypersons，whoareasmuchconcernedforyoursafetyasIam，haveemployedmeastheirorator，Idesiretoknowwhetheryouwillhaveitbywayofsyllogism，enthymem，dilemma，orsorites？\"
Johnnowbegantobedivertedwiththeirextravagance。
JOHNBULL。——Let’shaveasoritesbyallmeans，thoughtheyareallnewtome。
FRIEND。——Itisevidenttoallthatareversedinhistorythatthereweretwosistersthatplayedfalsetwothousandyearsago。
ThereforeitplainlyfollowsthatitisnotlawfulforJohnBulltohaveanymannerofintercoursewithLewisBaboon。IfitisnotlawfulforJohnBulltohaveanymannerofintercourse（correspondence，ifyouwill，thatismuchthesamething）then，afortiori，itismuchmoreunlawfulforthesaidJohntomakeoverhiswifeandchildrentothesaidLewis。Ifhiswifeandchildrenarenottobemadeover，heisnottowearadaggerandratsbaneinhispockets。Ifhewearsadaggerandratsbane，itmustbetodomischieftohimselforsomebodyelse。Ifheintendstodomischief，heoughttobeunderguardians，andthereisnonesofitasmyselfandsomeotherworthypersonswhohaveacommissionforthatpurposefromNic。Frog，theexecutorofhiswillandtestament。
JOHNBULL。——Andthisisyoursorites，yousay？
Withthathesnatchedagoodtoughoakencudgel，andbegantobrandishit。Thenhappywasthemanthatwasfirstatthedoor。
Crowdingtogetout，theytumbleddown-stairs。Anditiscrediblyreportedsomeofthemdroppedveryvaluablethingsinthehurry，whichwerepickedupbyothersofthefamily。
\"Thatanyoftheserogues，\"quothJohn，\"shouldimagineIamnotasmuchconcernedastheyabouthavingmyaffairsinasettledcondition，orthatIwouldwrongmyheirforIknownotwhat！Well，Nic。，Ireallycannotbutapplaudthydiligence。Imustownthisisreallyaprettysortofatrick，butitsha’n’tdothybusiness，forallthat。\"
CHAPTERXVIII。HowLewisBabooncametovisitJohnBull，andwhatpassedbetweenthem。*
*PrivatenegotiationsaboutDunkirk。
IthinkitisbutingenuoustoacquaintthereaderthatthischapterwasnotwrotebySirHumphreyhimself，butbyanotherveryablepenoftheuniversityofGrubStreet。
Johnhad，bysomegoodinstructionsgivenhimbySirRoger，gotthebetterofhischolerictemper，andwroughthimselfuptoagreatsteadinessofmindtopursuehisowninterestthroughallimpedimentsthatwerethrownintheway。Hebegantoleaveoffsomeofhisoldacquaintance，hisroaringandbullyingaboutthestreets。
Heputonaseriousair，knithisbrows，and，forthetime，hadmadeaveryconsiderableprogressinpolitics，consideringthathehadbeenkeptastrangertohisownaffairs。However，hecouldnothelpdiscoveringsomeremainsofhisnaturewhenhehappenedtomeetwithafootballoramatchatcricket，forwhichSirRogerwassuretotakehimtotask。Johnwaswalkingabouthisroomwithfoldedarmsandamostthoughtfulcountenance。HisservantbroughthimwordthatoneLewisBaboonbelowwantedtospeakwithhim。JohnhadgotanimpressionthatLewiswassodeadlycunningamanthathewasafraidtoventurehimselfalonewithhim。Atlasthetookheartofgrace。\"Lethimcomeup，\"quothhe;\"itisbutstickingtomypoint，andhecanneverover-reachme。\"
LEWISBABOON。——MonsieurBull，Iwillfranklyacknowledgethatmybehaviourtomyneighbourshasbeensomewhatuncivil，andIbelieveyouwillreadilygrantmethatIhavemetwithusageaccordingly。I
wasfondofback-swordandcudgel-playfrommyyouth，andInowbearinmybodymanyablackandbluegashandscar，Godknows。Ihadasgoodawarehouseandasfairpossessionsasanyofmyneighbours，thoughIsayit。Butacontentioustemper，flatteringservants，andunfortunatestarshavebroughtmeintocircumstancesthatarenotunknowntoyou。Thesemymisfortunesareheightenedbydomesticcalamities。ThatIneednotrelate。Iamapooroldbatteredfellow，andIwouldwillinglyendmydaysinpeace。But，alas！I
seebutsmallhopesofthat，foreverynewcircumstanceaffordsanargumenttomyenemiestopursuetheirrevenge。FormerlyIwastobebangedbecauseIwastoostrong，andnowbecauseIamtooweaktoresist;Iamtobebroughtdownwhentoorich，andoppressedwhentoopoor。Nic。Froghasusedmelikeascoundrel。Youareagentleman，andIfreelyputmyselfinyourhandstodisposeofmeasyouthinkfit。
JOHNBULL。——Lookyou，MasterBaboon，astoyourusageofyourneighbours，youhadbestnotdwelltoomuchuponthatchapter。Letitsufficeatpresentthatyouhavebeenmetwith。Youhavebeenrollingagreatstoneup-hillallyourlife，andatlastithascometumblingdowntillitisliketocrushyoutopieces。Plain-dealingisbest。Ifyouhaveanyparticularmark，Mr。Baboon，wherebyonemayknowwhenyoufibandwhenyouspeaktruth，youhadbesttellitme，thatonemayproceedaccordingly。ButsinceatpresentIknowofnonesuch，itisbetterthatyoushouldtrustmethanthatI
shouldtrustyou。
LEWISBABOON。——Iknowofnoparticularmarkofveracityamongstustradesmenbutinterest;anditismanifestlyminenottodeceiveyouatthistime。Youmaysafelytrustme，Icanassureyou。
JOHNBULL。——ThetrustIgiveis，inshort，this：ImusthavesomethinginhandbeforeImakethebargain，andtherestbeforeitisconcluded。
LEWISBABOON。——ToshowyouIdealfairly，nameyoursomething。
JOHNBULL。——Ineednottellthee，oldboy;thoucanstguess。
LEWISBABOON。——EcclesdownCastle，*I’llwarrantyou，becauseithasbeenformerlyinyourfamily。Saynomore;youshallhaveit。
*Dunkirk。
JOHNBULL。——Ishallhaveittomyownself？
LEWISBABOON。——Tothineownself。
JOHNBULL。——Everywall，gate，room，andinchofEcclesdownCastle，yousay？
LEWISBABOON。——Justso。
JOHNBULL。——EverysinglestoneofEcclesdownCastle，tomyownself，speedily？
LEWISBABOON。——Whenyouplease;whatneedsmorewords？
JOHNBULL。——Buttellme，oldboy，hastthoulaidasideallthyequivocalsandmentalsinthiscase？
LEWISBABOON。——There’snothinglikematteroffact;seeingisbelieving。
JOHNBULL。——Nowthoutalkesttothepurpose;letusshakehands，oldboy。Letmeasktheeonequestionmore;whathastthoutodotomeddlewiththeaffairsofmyfamily？todisposeofmyestate，oldboy？
LEWISBABOON。——JustasmuchasyouhavetodowiththeaffairsofLordStrutt。
JOHNBULL。——Ay，butmytrade，myverybeingwasconcernedinthat。
LEWISBABOON。——Andmyinterestwasconcernedintheother。Butletusdropbothourpretences;forIbelieveitisamootpoint，whetherIammorelikelytomakeaMasterBull，oryouaLordStrutt。
JOHNBULL。——Agreed，oldboy;butthenImusthavesecuritythatI
shallcarrymybroadclothtomarket，oldboy。
LEWISBABOON。——Thatyoushall：EcclesdownCastle！Ecclesdown！
Rememberthat。Whywouldstthounottakeitwhenitwasofferedtheesomeyearsago？
JOHNBULL。——Iwouldnottakeit，becausetheytoldmethouwouldstnotgiveitme。
LEWISBABOON。——HowcouldMonsieurBullbesogrosslyabusedbydownrightnonsense？theythatadvisedyoutorefuse，musthavebelievedIintendedtogive，elsewhywouldtheynotmaketheexperiment？ButIcantellyoumoreofthatmatterthanperhapsyouknowatpresent。
JOHNBULL。——Butwhatsay’stthouastotheEsquire，Nic。Frog，andtherestofthetradesmen？Imusttakecareofthem。
LEWISBABOON。——ThouhastbutsmallobligationstoNic。tomycertainknowledge：hehasnotusedmelikeagentleman。
JOHNBULL。——Nic。indeedisnotveryniceinyourpunctiliosofceremony;heisclownish，asamanmaysay：belchingandcallingofnameshavebeenallowedhimtimeoutofmind，byprescription：but，however，weareengagedinonecommoncause，andImustlookafterhim。
LEWISBABOON。——Allmattersthatrelatetohim，andtherestoftheplaintiff’sinthislawsuit，Iwillrefertoyourjustice。
CHAPTERXIX。Nic。Frog’slettertoJohnBull：whereinheendeavourstovindicateallhisconduct，withrelationtoJohnBullandthelawsuit。
Nic。perceivednowthathisCullyhadeloped，thatJohnintendedhenceforthtodealwithoutabroker;buthewasresolvedtoleavenostoneunturnedtocoverhisbubble。Amongstotherartificeshewroteamostobligingletter，whichhesenthimprintedinafaircharacter。
\"DEARFRIEND，——WhenIconsiderthelateill-usageIhavemetwithfromyou，Iwasreflectingwhatitwasthatcouldprovokeyoutoit，butuponanarrowinspectionintomyconduct，Icanfindnothingtoreproachmyselfwithbuttoopartialaconcernforyourinterest。
YounosoonersetthiscompositionafootbutIwasreadytocomply，andpreventedyourverywishes;andtheaffairmighthavebeenendedbeforenow，haditnotbeenforthegreaterconcernsofEsquireSouthandtheotherpoorcreaturesembarkedinthesamecommoncause，whosesafetytouchesmetothequick。YouseemedalittlejealousthatIhaddealtunfairlywithyouinmoney-matters，tillitappearedbyyourownaccountsthattherewassomethingduetomeuponthebalance。Havingnothingtoanswertosoplainademonstration，youbegantocomplainasifIhadbeenfamiliarwithyourreputation;whenitiswellknownnotonlyI，butthemeanestservantsinmyfamily，talkofyouwiththeutmostrespect。Ihavealways，asfarasinmelies，exhortedyourservantsandtenantstobedutiful;notthatIanywaymeddleinyourdomesticaffairs，whichwereveryunbecomingformetodo。Ifsomeofyourservantsexpresstheirgreatconcernforyouinamannerthatisnotsoverypolite，yououghttoimputeittotheirextraordinaryzeal，whichdeservesarewardratherthanareproof。Youcannotreproachmeforwantofsuccessatthe’Salutation，’sinceIamnotmasterofthepassionsandinterestsofotherfolks。Ihavebeggaredmyselfwiththislawsuit，undertakenmerelyincomplaisancetoyou;andifyouwouldhavehadbutalittlepatience，Ihadstillgreaterthingsinreserve，thatIintendedtohavedoneforyou。IhopewhatIhavesaidwillprevailwithyoutolayasideyourunreasonablejealousies，andthatwemayhavenomoremeetingsatthe’Salutation，’spendingourtimeandmoneytonopurpose。Myconcernforyourwelfareandprosperityalmostmakesmemad。YoumaybeassuredIwillcontinuetobe\"Youraffectionate\"FriendandServant，\"Nic。Frog。\"*
*SubstanceoftheStatesletter。
Johnreceivedthiswithagooddealofsang-froid;\"Transeat，\"quothJohn，\"cumcaeteriserroribus。\"Hewasnowathisease;hesawhecouldnowmakeaverygoodbargainforhimself，andaverysafeoneforotherfolks。\"Myshirt，\"quothhe，\"isnearme，butmyskinisnearer。WhilstItakecareofthewelfareofotherfolks，nobodycanblamemetoapplyalittlebalsamtomyownsores。It’saprettything，afterall，foramantodohisownbusiness;amanhassuchatenderconcernforhimself，there’snothinglikeit。Thisissomewhatbetter，Itrow，thanforJohnBulltobestandinginthemarket，likeagreatdray-horse，withFrog’spawsuponhishead。
Whatwillyougivemeforthisbeast？ServiteurNic。Frog，thoughJohnBullhasnotreadyourAristotles，Platos，andMachiavels，hecanseeasfarintoamill-stoneasanother。\"WiththatJohnbegantochuckleandlaughtillhewasliketohavebursthissides。
CHAPTERXX。ThediscoursethatpassedbetweenNic。FrogandEsquireSouth，whichJohnBulloverheard。*
*NegotiationsbetweentheEmperorandtheDutchforcontinuingthewar，andgettingthepropertyofFlanders。
JohnthoughteveryminuteayeartillhegotintoEcclesdownCastle;
herepairstothe\"Salutation\"withadesigntobreakthemattergentlytohispartners。BeforeheenteredheoverheardNic。andtheEsquireinaverypleasantconference。
ESQUIRESOUTH。——Oh，theingratitudeandinjusticeofmankind！ThatJohnBull，whomIhavehonouredwithmyfriendshipandprotectionsolong，shouldflinchatlast，andpretendthathecandisbursenomoremoneyforme！thatthefamilyoftheSouths，byhissneakingtemper，shouldbekeptoutoftheirown！
NIC。FROG。——An’tlikeyourworship，Iaminamazeatit;Ithinktherogueshouldbecompelledtohisduty。
ESQUIRESOUTH。——Thatheshouldpreferhisscandalouspelf，thedustanddregsoftheearth，totheprosperityandgrandeurofmyfamily！
NIC。FROG。——Nay，heismistakenthere，too;forhewouldquicklylickhimselfwholeagainbyhisvails。It’sstrangeheshouldpreferPhilipBaboon’scustomtoEsquireSouth’s。
ESQUIRESOUTH。——Asyousay，thatmyclothier，thatistogetsomuchbythepurchase，shouldrefusetoputmeinpossession;didyoueverknowanyman’stradesmanservehimsobefore？
NIC。FROG。——No，indeed，an’tpleaseyourworship，itisaveryunusualproceeding;andIwouldnothavebeenguiltyofitfortheworld。Ifyourhonourhadnotagreatstockofmoderationandpatience，youwouldnotbearitsowellasyoudo。
ESQUIRESOUTH。——Itismostintolerable，that’scertain，Nic。，andI
willberevenged。
NIC。FROG。——MethinksitisstrangethatPhilipBaboon’stenantsdonotalltakeyourhonour’spart，consideringhowgoodandgentleamasteryouare。
ESQUIRESOUTH。——True，Nic。，butfewaresensibleofmeritinthisworld。Itisagreatcomforttohavesofaithfulafriendasthyselfinsocriticalajuncture。
NIC。FROG。——Ifalltheworldshouldforsakeyou，beassuredNic。
Frogneverwill;letussticktoourpoint，andwe’llmanageBull，I’llwarrantye。
ESQUIRESOUTH。——Letmekissthee，dearNic。;Ihavefoundonehonestmanamongathousandatlast。
NIC。FROG。——Ifitwerepossible，yourhonourhasitinyourpowertowedmestillclosertoyourinterest。
ESQUIRESOUTH。——Tellmequickly，dearNic。
NIC。FROG。——YouknowIamyourtenant;thedifferencebetweenmyleaseandaninheritanceissuchatrifleasIamsureyouwillnotgrudgeyourpoorfriend。Thatwillbeanencouragementtogoon;
besides，itwillmakeBullasmadasthedevil：youandIshallbeabletomanagehimthentosomepurpose。
ESQUIRESOUTH。——Saynomore;itshallbedone，Nic。，tothyheart’scontent。
Johnallthiswhilewaslisteningtothiscomicaldialogue，andlaughedheartilyinhissleeveattheprideandsimplicityoftheEsquire，andtheslyrogueryofhisfriendNic。Thenofasuddenboltingintotheroom，hebegantotellthemthathebelievedhehadbroughtLewistoreasonableterms，iftheywouldpleasetohearthem。
Thentheyallbawledoutaloud，\"Nocomposition：longliveEsquireSouthandtheLaw！\"AsJohnwasgoingtoproceed，someroared，somestampedwiththeirfeet，othersstoppedtheirearswiththeirfingers。
\"Nay，gentlemen，\"quothJohn，\"ifyouwillbutstopproceedingforawhile，youshalljudgeyourselveswhetherLewis’sproposals*arereasonable。\"
*ProposalsforcessationofarmsanddeliveryofDunkirk。
ALL。——Veryfine，indeed;stopproceeding，andsoloseaterm。
JOHNBULL。——Notsoneither;wehavesomethingbywayofadvance：hewillputusinpossessionofhisManorandCastleofEcclesdown。
NIC。FROG。——Whatdosttalkofus？thoumeanestthyself。
JOHNBULL。——WhenFrogtookpossessionofanything，itwasalwayssaidtobeforus，andwhymaynotJohnBullbeusaswellasNic。
Frogwasus？IhopeJohnBullisnomoreconfinedtosingularitythanNic。Frog;or，takeitso，theconstantdoctrinethatthouhastpreachedupformanyyearswasthatthouandIareone;andwhymustwebesupposedtwointhiscase，thatwerealwaysonebefore？It’simpossiblethatthouandIcanfallout，Nic。;wemusttrustoneanother。Ihavetrustedtheewithagreatmanythings——pritheetrustmewiththisonetrifle。
NIC。FROG。——Thatprincipleistrueinthemain，butthereissomespecialityinthiscasethatmakesithighlyinconvenientforusboth。
JOHNBULL。——Thoseareyourjealousies，thatthecommonenemiessowbetweenus：howoftenhastthouwarnedmeofthoserogues，Nic。，thatwouldmakeusmistrustfulofoneanother！
NIC。FROG。——ThisEcclesdownCastleisonlyaboneofcontention。
JOHNBULL。——Itdependsuponyoutomakeitso;formypart，Iamaspeaceableasalamb。
NIC。FROG。——Butdoyouconsidertheunwholesomenessoftheairandsoil，theexpensesofreparationsandservants？Iwouldscorntoacceptofsuchaquagmire。
JOHNBULL。——Youareagreatman，Nic。，butinmycircumstancesI
mustbee’encontenttotakeitasitis。
NIC。FROG。——Andyouarereallysosillyastobelievetheoldcheatingroguewillgiveityou？
JOHNBULL。——Ibelievenothingbutmatteroffact;Istandandfallbythat。Iamresolvedtoputhimtoit。
NIC。FROG。——Andsorelinquishthehopefullestcauseintheworld：aclaimthatwillcertainlyintheendmakethyfortuneforever。
JOHNBULL。——Wiltthoupurchaseit，Nic。？thoushalthavealumpingpennyworth;nay，ratherthanweshoulddiffer，I’llgivetheesomethingtotakeitoffmyhands。
NIC。FROG。——Ifthouwouldstbutmoderatethathasty，impatienttemperofthine，thoushouldstquicklyseeabetterthingthanallthat。WhatshouldstthouthinktofindoldLewisturnedoutofhispaternalestatesandmansion-houseofClaypool？*Wouldnotthatdothyheartgood，toseethyoldfriend，Nic。Frog，LordofClaypool？
Thenthouandthywifeandchildrenshouldwalkinmygardens，buytoys，drinklemonade，andnowandthenweshouldhaveacountrydance。
*Claypool，Paris——Lutetia。
JOHNBULL。——Ilovetobeplain：I’dasliefseemyselfinEcclesdownCastleastheeinClaypool。Itellyouagain，Lewisgivesthisasapledgeofhissincerity;ifyouwon’tstopproceedingtohearhim，Iwill。
CHAPTERXXI。TherestofNic。’sfetchestokeepJohnoutofEcclesdownCastle。*
*Attemptstohinderthecessation，andtakingpossessionofDunkirk。
WhenNic。couldnotdissuadeJohnbyargument，hetriedtomovehispity;hepretendedtobesickandliketodie;thatheshouldleavehiswifeandchildreninastarvingcondition，ifJohndidabandonhim;thathewashardlyabletocrawlabouttheroom，farlesscapabletolookaftersuchatroublesomebusinessasthislawsuit，andthereforebeggedthathisgoodfriendwouldnotleavehim。WhenhesawthatJohnwasstillinexorable，hepulledoutacase-knife，withwhichheusedtosnicker-snee，andthreatenedtocuthisownthroat。Thriceheaimedtheknifetohiswindpipewithamostdeterminedthreateningair。\"Whatsignifieslife，\"quothhe，\"inthislanguishingcondition？Itwillbesomepleasurethatmyfriendswillrevengemydeathuponthisbarbarousmanthathasbeenthecauseofit。\"AllthiswhileJohnlookedsedateandcalm，neitherofferingintheleasttosnatchtheknife，norstophisblow，trustingtothetendernessNic。hadforhisownperson。WhenheperceivedthatJohnwasimmovableinhispurpose，heappliedhimselftoLewis。
\"Artthou，\"quothhe，\"turnedbubbleinthyoldage，frombeingasharperinthyyouth？WhatoccasionhastthoutogiveupEcclesdownCastletoJohnBull？Hisfriendshipisnotwortharush。Giveitme，andI’llmakeitworththywhile。Ifthoudislikestthatproposition，keepitthyself;I’dratherthoushouldsthaveitthanhe。Ifthouhearkenestnottomyadvice，takewhatfollows;EsquireSouthandIwillgoonwithourlawsuitinspiteofJohnBull’steeth。\"
LEWISBABOON。——MonsieurBullhasusedmelikeagentleman，andIamresolvedtomakegoodmypromise，andtrusthimfortheconsequences。
NIC。FROG。——ThenItelltheethouartanolddoatingfool。——WiththatNic。bouncedupwithaspringequaltothatofoneofyournimblesttumblersorrope-dancers，andfellfouluponJohnBull，tosnatchthecudgel*hehadinhishand，thathemightthwackLewiswithit：Johnhelditfastsothattherewasnowrenchingitfromhim。AtlastSquireSouthbuckledto，toassisthisfriendNic。：
Johnhauledononeside，andtheytwoontheother。SometimestheywereliketopullJohnover，thenitwentallofasuddenagainonJohn’sside，sotheywentsee-sawingupanddown，fromoneendoftheroomtotheother。Downtumbledthetables，bottles，glasses，andtobacco-pipes;thewineandthetobaccowereallspiltabouttheroom，andthelittlefellowswerealmosttrodunderfoot，tillmoreofthetradesmenjoiningwithNic。andtheSquire，Johnwashardlyabletopullagainstthenall，yetwouldheneverquitholdofhistrustycudgel：whichbythecontraryforceoftwosogreatpowersbrokeshortinhishands。**Nic。seizedthelongerend，andwithitbegantobastinadooldLewis，whohadslunkintoacorner，waitingtheeventofthissquabble。Nic。cameuptohimwithaninsolentmenacingair，sothattheoldfellowwasforcedtoscuttleoutoftheroom，andretirebehindadung-cart。HecalledtoNic。，\"Thouinsolentjackanapes，timewaswhenthoudurstnothaveusedmeso;
thounowtakestmeunprovided;but，oldandinfirmasIam，Ishallfindaweaponby-and-bytochastisethyimpudence。\"
*Thearmy。
**Theseparationofthearmy。
WhenJohnBullhadrecoveredhisbreath，hebegantoparleywithNic。：\"FriendNic。，Iamgladtofindtheesostrongafterthygreatcomplaints;reallythymotions，Nic。，areprettyvigorousforaconsumptiveman。Asforthyworldlyaffairs，Nic。，ifitcandotheeanyservice，Ifreelymakeovertotheethisprofitablelawsuit，andIdesireallthesegentlementobearwitnesstothismyactanddeed。Yoursbeallthegain，asminehasbeenthecharges。
Ihavebroughtittobearfinely：however，allIhavelaidoutuponitgoesfornothing——thoushalthaveitwithallitsappurtenances;
Iasknothingbutleavetogohome。\"
NIC。FROG。——Thecounselarefee’d，andallthingspreparedforatrial;thoushaltbeforcedtostandtheissue;itshallbepleadedinthynameaswellasmine。Gohomeifthoucanst;thegatesareshut，theturnpikeslocked，andtheroadsbarricaded。*
*DifficultyofthemarchofpartofthearmytoDunkirk。
JOHNBULL。——Eventheseveryways，Nic。，thatthoutoldestmewereasopentomeasthyself，ifIcan’tpasswithmyownequipage，whatcanIexpectformygoodsandwagons？IamdeniedpassagethroughthoseverygroundsthatIhavepurchasedwithmyownmoney。
However，IamgladIhavemadetheexperiment;itmayservemeinsomestead。
JohnBullwassooverjoyedthathewasgoingtotakepossessionofEcclesdown，thatnothingcouldvexhim。\"Nic。，\"quothhe，\"Iamjusta-goingtoleavethee;castakindlookuponmeatparting。\"
Nic。lookedsourandglum，andwouldnotopenhismouth。
JOHNBULL。——Iwishtheeallthesuccessthatthyheartcandesire，andthatthesehonestgentlemenofthelongrobemayhavetheirbellyfulloflaw。
Nic。couldstanditnolonger，butflungoutoftheroomwithdisdain，andbeckonedthelawyerstofollowhim。
JOHNBULL。——B’ye，b’ye，Nic，;notonepoorsmileatparting？won’tyoushakeyourday-day，Nic？b’ye，Nic。——WiththatJohnmarchedoutofthecommonroad，acrossthecountry，totakepossessionofEcclesdown。
CHAPTERXXII。OfthegreatjoythatJohnexpressedwhenhegotpossessionofEcclesdown。*
*Dunkirk。
WhenJohnhadgotintohiscastleheseemedlikeUlyssesuponhisplankafterhehadbeenwellsousedinsaltwater，who，asHomersays，wasasgladasajudgegoingtositdowntodinnerafterhearingalongcauseuponthebench。IdaresayJohnBull’sjoywasequaltothatofeitherofthetwo;heskippedfromroomtoroom，ranup-stairsanddown-stairs，fromthekitchentothegarrets，andfromthegarretstothekitchen;hepeepedintoeverycranny;
sometimesheadmiredthebeautyofthearchitectureandthevastsolidityofthemason’swork;atothertimeshecommendedthesymmetryandproportionoftherooms。Hewalkedaboutthegardens;
hebathedhimselfinthecanal，swimming，diving，andbeatingtheliquidelementlikeamilk-whiteswan。Thehallresoundedwiththesprightlyviolinandthemartialhautbois。Thefamilytrippeditabout，andcaperedlikehailstonesboundingfromamarblefloor。
Wine，ale，andOctoberflewaboutasplentifullyaskennel-water。
ThenafrolictookJohnintheheadtocallupsomeofNic。Frog’spensionersthathadbeensomutinousinhisfamily。
JOHNBULL。——AreyougladtoseeyourmasterinEcclesdownCastle？
ALL。——Yes，indeed，sir。
JOHNBULL。——Extremelyglad？
ALL。——Extremelyglad，sir。
JOHNBULL。——Sweartomethatyouareso。
Thentheybegantosinktheirsoulstothelowestpitifanypersonintheworldrejoicedmorethantheydid。
JOHNBULL。——NowhangmeifIdon’tbelieveyouareaparcelofperjuredrascals;however，takethisbumperofOctobertoyourmaster’shealth。
ThenJohngotuponthebattlements，andlookingoverhecalledtoNic。Frog。——
\"Howd’yedo，Nic。？D’yeseewhereIam，Nic。？Ihopethecausegoesonswimmingly，Nic。WhendostthouintendtogotoClaypool，Nic。？Wiltthoubuytheresomehighheadsofthenewestcutformydaughters？Howcomestthoutogowiththyarmtiedup？HasoldLewisgiventheearapoverthyfingers’ends？ThyweaponwasagoodonewhenIwieldedit，butthebutt-endremainsinmyhands。I
amsobusyinpackingupmygoodsthatIhavenotimetotalkwiththeeanylonger。Itwoulddothyheartgoodtoseewhatwagon-loadsIampreparingformarket。Ifthouwantestanygoodofficeofmine，forallthathashappenedIwillusetheewell，Nic。B’ye，Nic。\"
POSTSCRIPT。
IthasbeendisputedamongsttheliteratiofGrubStreetwhetherSirHumphryproceededanyfartherintothehistoryofJohnBull。Bydiligentinquirywehavefoundthetitlesofsomechapters，whichappeartobeacontinuationofit，andareasfollow：——
CHAP。I。——HowJohnwasmadeangrywiththeArticlesofAgreement。
HowhekickedtheParchmentthroughtheHouse，up-stairsanddown-stairs，andputhimselfinagreatHeatthereby。
CHAP。II。——HowinhisPassionhewasgoingtocutoffSirRoger’sheadwithaCleaver。OfthestrangemannerofSirRoger’sescapingtheblow，bylayinghisHeadupontheDresser。
CHAP。III。——HowsomeofJohn’sServantsattemptedtoscalehisHousewithRopeLadders，andhowmanyunfortunatelydangledinthesame。
CHAP。IV。——OftheMethodsbywhichJohnendeavouredtopreservethePeaceamongsthisNeighbours。HowhekeptapairofStillyardstoweighthem，andbyDiet，Purging，Vomiting，andBleeding，triedtobringthemtoequalBulkandStrength。
CHAP。V。——OfFalseAccountsoftheWeightsgiveninbysomeoftheJourneymen，andoftheNewmarketTricksthatwerepractisedattheStillyards。
CHAP。VI。——HowJohn’sNewJourneymenbroughthimotherguessAccountsoftheStillyards。
CHAP。VII。——HowSirSwainNorthy*was，byBleeding，Purging，andaSteelDiet，broughtintoaConsumption，andhowJohnwasforcedafterwardstogivehimtheGoldCordial。
*KingofSweden。
CHAP。VIII。——HowPeterBear*wasoverfed，andafterwardsrefusedtosubmittothecourseofPhysic。
*CzarofMuscovy。
CHAP。IX。——HowJohnpamperedEsquireSouthwithTit-bits，tillhegrewwanton;howhegotdrunkwithCalabrianWine，andlongedforSicilianBeef，andhowJohncarriedhimthitherinhisbarge。
CHAP。X。——HowtheEsquire，fromafoul-feeder，grewdainty：howhelongedforMangoes，Spices，andIndianBirds’Nests，etc。，andcouldnotsleepbutinaChintzBed。
CHAP。XI。——TheEsquireturnedTradesman;howhesetupaChinaShop*
overagainstNic。Frog。
*TheOstendCompany。
CHAP。XII。——HowheprocuredSpanishFliestoblisterhisNeighbours，andasaProvocativetohimself。AslikewisehowhecarriedoffNic。Frog’sfavouriteDaughter。
CHAP。XIII。——HowNic。Frog，hearingtheGirlsqueak，wenttocallJohnBullasaConstable。
CHAP。XIV。——HowJohnroseoutofhisBedonacoldMorningtopreventaDuelbetweenEsq。SouthandLordStrutt;how，tohisgreatsurprise，hefoundtheCombatantsdrinkingGenevainaBrandyShop，withNic。’sfavouriteDaughterbetweenthem;howtheybothfelluponJohn，sothathewasforcedtofighthiswayout。
CHAP。XV。——HowJohncamewithhisConstable’sStafftorescueNic。’sDaughter，andbreaktheEsquire’sChinaWare。
CHAP。XVI。——CommentaryupontheSpanishProverb，\"TimeandIagainstanyTwo;\"orAdvicetoDogmaticalPoliticiansexemplifiedinsomeNewAffairsbetweenJohnBullandLewisBaboon。
CHAP。XVII。——ADiscourseofthedelightfulGameofQuadrille。HowLewisBaboonattemptedtoplayaGameSoloinClubs，andwasbested;
howJohncalledLewisforhisKing，andwasafraidthathisownPartnershouldhavetoomanytricks;andhowtheSuccessandSkillofQuadrilledependsuponcallingarightKing。