Thentheroarandrattleofthewheelsshiveredthequietintolittlebits。Irosetogoaway，buttwomeninwhiteclothesstoodinfrontofme。Thefirstonesaid，\"It’shim！\"Thesecondsaid，\"Soitis！\"
Andtheybothlaughedalmostasloudlyasthemachineryroared，andmoppedtheirforeheads。\"Weseedtherewasalightburningacrosstheroad，andweweresleepinginthatditchthereforcoolness，andIsaidtomyfriendhere，’Theofficeisopen。Let’scomealongandspeaktohimasturnedusbackfromDegumberState，’\"saidthesmallerofthetwo。HewasthemanIhadmetintheMhowtrain，andhisfellowwasthered-beardedmanofMarwarJunction。Therewasnomistakingtheeyebrowsoftheoneorthebeardoftheother。
Iwasnotpleased，becauseIwishedtogotosleep，nottosquabblewithloafers。\"Whatdoyouwant？\"Iasked。
\"Halfanhour’stalkwithyou，coolandcomfortable，intheoffice，\"
saidthered-beardedman。\"We’dlikesomedrink，——theContrackdoesn’tbeginyet，Peachey，soyouneedn’tlook，——butwhatwereallywantisadvice。Wedon’twantmoney。Weaskyouasafavour，becausewefoundoutyoudidusabadturnaboutDegumberState。\"
Iledfromthepress-roomtothestiflingofficewiththemapsonthewalls，andthered-hairedmanrubbedhishands。\"That’ssomethinglike，\"saidhe。\"Thiswasthepropershoptocometo。
Now，Sir，letmeintroduceyoutoBrotherPeacheyCarnehan，that’shim，andBrotherDanielDravot，thatisme，andthelesssaidaboutourprofessionsthebetter，forwehavebeenmostthingsinourtime——soldier，sailor，compositor，photographer，proof-reader，street-preacher，andcorrespondentsofthe’Backwoodsman’whenwethoughtthepaperwantedone。Carnehanissober，andsoamI。
Lookatusfirst，andseethat’ssure。Itwillsaveyoucuttingintomytalk。We’lltakeoneofyourcigarsapiece，andyoushallseeuslightup。\"
Iwatchedthetest。Themenwereabsolutelysober，soIgavethemeachatepidwhisky-and-soda。
\"Wellandgood，\"saidCarnehanoftheeyebrows，wipingthefrothfromhismoustache。\"Letmetalknow，Dan。WehavebeenalloverIndia，mostlyonfoot。Wehavebeenboiler-fitters，engine-drivers，pettycontractors，andallthat，andwehavedecidedthatIndiaisn’tbigenoughforsuchasus。\"
Theycertainlyweretoobigfortheoffice。Dravot’sbeardseemedtofillhalftheroomandCarnehan’sshoulderstheotherhalf，astheysatonthebigtable。Carnehancontinued：\"Thecountryisn’thalfworkedoutbecausetheythatgovernsitwon’tletyoutouchit。
Theyspendalltheirblessedtimeingoverningit，andyoucan’tliftaspade，norchiparock，norlookforoil，noranythinglikethat，withoutalltheGovernmentsaying，’Leaveitalone，andletusgovern。’Therefore，suchasitis，wewillletitalone，andgoawaytosomeotherplacewhereamanisn’tcrowdedandcancometohisown。Wearenotlittlemen，andthereisnothingthatweareafraidofexceptDrink，andwehavesignedaContrackonthat。
ThereforewearegoingawaytobeKings。\"
\"Kingsinourownright，\"mutteredDravot。
\"Yes，ofcourse，\"Isaid。\"You’vebeentrampinginthesun，andit’saverywarmnight，andhadn’tyoubettersleepoverthenotion？
Cometo-morrow。\"
\"Neitherdrunknorsunstruck，\"saidDravot。\"Wehavesleptoverthenotionhalfayear，andrequiretoseeBooksandAtlases，andwehavedecidedthatthereisonlyoneplacenowintheworldthattwostrongmencanSar-a-whack。TheycallitKafiristan。Bymyreckoningit’sthetopright-handcornerofAfghanistan，notmorethanthreehundredmilesfromPeshawar。Theyhavetwoandthirtyheathenidolsthere，andwe’llbethethirty-thirdandfourth。It’samountaineouscountry，thewomenofthosepartsareverybeautiful。\"
\"ButthatisprovidedagainstintheContrack，\"saidCarnehan。
\"NeitherWomennorLiqu-or，Daniel。\"
\"Andthat’sallweknow，exceptthatnoonehasgonethere，andtheyfight，andinanyplacewheretheyfightamanwhoknowshowtodrillmencanalwaysbeaKing。WeshallgotothosepartsandsaytoanyKingwefind，’D’youwanttovanquishyourfoes？’
andwewillshowhimhowtodrillmen;forthatweknowbetterthananythingelse。ThenwewillsubvertthatKingandseizehisThroneandestablishaDy-nasty。\"
\"You’llbecuttopiecesbeforeyou’refiftymilesacrosstheBorder，\"Isaid。\"YouhavetotravelthroughAfghanistantogettothatcountry。It’sonemassofmountainsandpeaksandglaciers，andnoEnglishmanhasbeenthroughit。Thepeopleareutterbrutes，andevenifyoureachedthemyoucouldn’tdoanything。\"
\"That’smorelike，\"saidCarnehan。\"Ifyoucouldthinkusalittlemoremadwewouldbemorepleased。Wehavecometoyoutoknowaboutthiscountry，toreadabookaboutit，andtobeshownmaps。Wewantyoutotellusthatwearefoolsandtoshowusyourbooks。\"Heturnedtothebookcases。
\"Areyouatallinearnest？\"Isaid。
\"Alittle，\"saidDravot，sweetly。\"Asbigamapasyouhavegot，evenifit’sallblankwhereKafiristanis，andanybooksyou’vegot。
Wecanread，thoughwearen’tveryeducated。\"
Iuncasedthebigthirty-two-miles-to-the-inchmapofIndiaandtwosmallerFrontiermaps，hauleddownvolumeINF-KANofthe\"EncyclopaediaBritannica，\"andthemenconsultedthem。
\"Seehere！\"saidDravot，histhumbonthemap。\"UptoJagdallak，Peacheyandmeknowtheroad。WewastherewithRobert’sArmy。
We’llhavetoturnofftotherightatJagdallakthroughLaghmannterritory。Thenwegetamongthehills——fourteenthousandfeet——
fifteenthousand——itwillbecoldworkthere，butitdon’tlookveryfaronthemap。\"
IhandedhimWoodonthe\"SourcesoftheOxus。\"Carnehanwasdeepinthe\"Encyclopaedia。\"
\"They’reamixedlot，\"saidDravot，reflectively;\"anditwon’thelpustoknowthenamesoftheirtribes。Themoretribesthemorethey’llfight，andthebetterforus。FromJagdallaktoAshang。
H’mm！\"
\"Butalltheinformationaboutthecountryisassketchyandinaccurateascanbe，\"Iprotested。\"Nooneknowsanythingaboutitreally。Here’sthefileofthe’UnitedServices’Institute。’ReadwhatBellewsays。\"
\"BlowBellew！\"saidCarnehan。\"Dan，they’reastinkin’lotofheathens，butthisbookheresaystheythinkthey’rerelatedtousEnglish。\"
IsmokedwhilethemenpouredoverRaverty，Wood，themaps，andthe\"Encyclopaedia。\"
\"Thereisnouseyourwaiting，\"saidDravot，politely。\"It’saboutfouro’clocknow。We’llgobeforesixo’clockifyouwanttosleep，andwewon’tstealanyofthepapers。Don’tyousitup。We’retwoharmlesslunatics，andifyoucometo-morroweveningdowntotheSeraiwe’llsaygood-byetoyou。\"
\"Youaretwofools，\"Ianswered。\"You’llbeturnedbackattheFrontierorcutuptheminuteyousetfootinAfghanistan。Doyouwantanymoneyorarecommendationdown-country？Icanhelpyoutothechanceofworknextweek。\"
\"Nextweekweshallbehardatworkourselves，thankyou，\"saidDravot。\"Itisn’tsoeasybeingaKingasitlooks。Whenwe’vegotourKingdomingoingorderwe’llletyouknow，andyoucancomeupandhelpusgovernit。\"
\"WouldtwolunaticsmakeaContracklikethat？\"saidCarnehan，withsubduedpride，showingmeagreasyhalf-sheetofnotepaperonwhichwaswrittenthefollowing。Icopiedit，thenandthere，asacuriosity。
ThisContracxbetweenmeandyoupersuingwitnessethinthenameofGod——Amenandsoforth。
（One）Thatmeandyouwillsettlethismattertogether;i。e。，tobeKingsofKafiristan。
（Two）Thatyouandmewillnot，whilethismatterisbeingsettled，lookatanyLiquor，noranyWoman，black，white，orbrown，soastogetmixedupwithoneortheotherharmful。
（Three）ThatweconductourselveswithDignityandDiscretion，andifoneofusgetsintotroubletheotherwillstaybyhim。
Signedbyyouandmethisday。
PeacheyTaliaferroCarnehan。
DanielDravot。
BothGentlemenatLarge。
\"Therewasnoneedforthelastarticle，\"saidCarnehan，blushingmodestly;\"butitlooksregular。Nowyouknowthesortofmenthatloafersare，——weareloafers，Dan，untilwegetoutofIndia，——anddoyouthinkthatwewouldsignaContracklikethatunlesswewasinearnest？Wehavekeptawayfromthetwothingsthatmakelifeworthhaving。\"
\"Youwon’tenjoyyourlivesmuchlongerifyouaregoingtotrythisidioticadventure。Don’tsettheofficeonfire，\"Isaid，\"andgoawaybeforenineo’clock。\"
Ileftthemstillporingoverthemapsandmakingnotesonthebackofthe\"Contrack。\"\"BesuretocomedowntotheSeraito-morrow，\"
weretheirpartingwords。
TheKumharsenSeraiisthegreatfoursquaresinkofhumanitywherethestringsofcamelsandhorsesfromtheNorthloadandunload。AllthenationalitiesofCentralAsiamaybefoundthere，andmostofthefolkofIndiaproper。BalkhandBokharatheremeetBengalandBombay，andtrytodraweye-teeth。Youcanbuyponies，turquoises，Persianpussy-cats，saddle-bags，fat-tailedsheep，andmuskintheKumharsenSerai，andgetmanystrangethingsfornothing。IntheafternoonIwentdowntoseewhethermyfriendsintendedtokeeptheirwordorwerelyingtheredrunk。
Apriestattiredinfragmentsofribbonsandragsstalkeduptome，gravelytwistingachild’spaperwhirligig。Behindhimwashisservantbendingundertheloadofacrateofmudtoys。Thetwowereloadinguptwocamels，andtheinhabitantsoftheSeraiwatchedthemwithshrieksoflaughter。
\"Thepriestismad，\"saidahorse-dealertome。\"HeisgoinguptoKabultoselltoystotheAmir。Hewilleitherberaisedtohonourorhavehisheadcutoff。Hecameinherethismorningandhasbeenbehavingmadlyeversince。\"
\"ThewitlessareundertheprotectionofGod，\"stammeredaflat-
cheekedUsbeginbrokenHindi。\"Theyforetellfutureevents。\"
\"WouldtheycouldhaveforetoldthatmycaravanwouldhavebeencutupbytheShinwarisalmostwithinshadowofthePass！\"
gruntedtheEusufzaiagentofaRajputanatrading-housewhosegoodshadbeendivertedintothehandsofotherrobbersjustacrosstheBorder，andwhosemisfortuneswerethelaughing-stockofthebazaar。\"Ohe，priest，whencecomeyouandwhitherdoyougo？\"
\"FromRoumhaveIcome，\"shoutedthepriest，wavinghiswhirligig;\"fromRoum，blownbythebreathofahundreddevilsacrossthesea！Othieves，robbers，liars，theblessingofPirKhanonpigs，dogs，andperjurers！WhowilltaketheProtectedofGodtotheNorthtosellcharmsthatareneverstilltotheAmir？Thecamelsshallnotgall，thesonsshallnotfallsick，andthewivesshallremainfaithfulwhiletheyareaway，ofthemenwhogivemeplaceintheircaravan。WhowillassistmetoslippertheKingoftheRooswithagoldenslipperwithasilverheel？TheprotectionofPirKhanbeuponhislabours！\"Hespreadouttheskirtsofhisgabardineandpirouettedbetweenthelinesoftetheredhorses。
\"TherestartsacaravanfromPeshawartoKabulintwentydays，Huzrut，\"saidtheEusufzaitrader。\"Mycamelsgotherewith。Dothoualsogoandbringusgoodluck。\"
\"Iwillgoevennow！\"shoutedthepriest。\"Iwilldepartuponmywingedcamels，andbeatPeshawarinaday！Ho！HazarMirKhan，\"heyelledtohisservant，\"driveoutthecamels，butletmefirstmountmyown。\"
Heleapedonthebackofhisbeastasitknelt，and，turningroundtome，cried，\"Comethoualso，Sahib，alittlealongtheroad，andI
willselltheeacharm——anamuletthatshallmaketheeKingofKafiristan。\"
Thenthelightbrokeuponme，andIfollowedthetwocamelsoutoftheSeraitillwereachedopenroadandthepriesthalted。
\"Whatd’youthinko’that？\"saidheinEnglish。\"Carnehancan’ttalktheirpatter，soI’vemadehimmyservant。Hemakesahandsomeservant。’Tisn’tfornothingthatI’vebeenknockingaboutthecountryforfourteenyears。Didn’tIdothattalkneat？We’llhitchontoacaravanatPeshawartillwegettoJagdallak，andthenwe’llseeifwecangetdonkeysforourcamels，andstrikeintoKafiristan。
WhirligigsfortheAmir，OLor’！Putyourhandunderthecamelbagsandtellmewhatyoufeel。\"
IfeltthebuttofaMartini，andanotherandanother。
\"Twentyof’em，\"saidDravot，placidly。\"Twentyof’emandammunitiontocorrespond，underthewhirligigsandthemuddolls。\"
\"Heavenhelpyouifyouarecaughtwiththosethings！\"Isaid。\"A
MartiniisworthherweightinsilveramongthePathans。\"
\"Fifteenhundredrupeesofcapital——everyrupeewecouldbeg，borrow，orsteal——areinvestedonthesetwocamels，\"saidDravot。
\"Wewon’tgetcaught。We’regoingthroughtheKhaiberwitharegularcaravan。Who’dtouchapoormadpriest？\"
\"Haveyougoteverythingyouwant？\"Iasked，overcomewithastonishment。
\"Notyet，butweshallsoon。Giveusamomentoofyourkindness，Brother。Youdidmeaserviceyesterday，andthattimeinMarwar。
HalfmyKingdomshallyouhave，asthesayingis。\"Islippedasmallcharmcompassfrommywatch-chainandhandedituptothepriest。
\"Good-bye，\"saidDravot，givingmehandcautiously。\"It’sthelasttimewe’llshakehandswithanEnglishmanthesemanydays。
Shakehandswithhim，Carnehan，\"hecried，asthesecondcamelpassedme。
Carnehanleaneddownandshookhands。Thenthecamelspassedawayalongthedustyroad，andIwasleftalonetowonder。Myeyecoulddetectnofailureinthedisguises。ThesceneintheSeraiprovedthattheywerecompletetothenativemind。Therewasjustthechance，therefore，thatCarnehanandDravotwouldbeabletowanderthroughAfghanistanwithoutdetection。But，beyond，theywouldfinddeath——certainandawfuldeath。
Tendayslateranativecorrespondent，givingmethenewsofthedayfromPeshawar，wounduphisletterwith：\"TherehasbeenmuchlaughterhereonaccountofacertainmadpriestwhoisgoinginhisestimationtosellpettygaudsandinsignificanttrinketswhichheascribesasgreatcharmstoH。H。theAmirofBokhara。
HepassedthroughPeshawarandassociatedhimselftotheSecondSummercaravanthatgoestoKabul。Themerchantsarepleasedbecausethroughsuperstitiontheyimaginethatsuchmadfellowsbringgoodfortune。\"
Thetwo，then，werebeyondtheBorder。Iwouldhaveprayedforthem，butthatnightarealKingdiedinEurope，anddemandedanobituarynotice。
Thewheeloftheworldswingsthroughthesamephasesagainandagain。Summerpassedandwinterthereafter，andcameandpassedagain。ThedailypapercontinuedandIwithit，anduponthethirdsummertherefellahotnight，anightissue，andastrainedwaitingforsomethingtobetelegraphedfromtheothersideoftheworld，exactlyashadhappenedbefore。Afewgreatmenhaddiedinthepasttwoyears，themachinesworkedwithmoreclatter，andsomeofthetreesintheofficegardenwereafewfeettaller。Butthatwasallthedifference。
Ipassedovertothepress-room，andwentthroughjustsuchasceneasIhavealreadydescribed。Thenervoustensionwasstrongerthanithadbeentwoyearsbefore，andIfelttheheatmoreacutely。Atthreeo’clockIcried，\"Printoff，\"andturnedtogo，whentherecrepttomychairwhatwasleftofaman。Hewasbentintoacircle，hisheadwassunkbetweenhisshoulders，andhemovedhisfeetoneovertheotherlikeabear。Icouldhardlyseewhetherhewalkedorcrawled——thisrag-wrapped，whiningcripplewhoaddressedmebyname，cryingthathewascomeback。\"Canyougivemeadrink？\"
hewhimpered。\"FortheLord’ssake，givemeadrink！\"
Iwentbacktotheoffice，themanfollowingwithgroansofpain，andIturnedupthelamp。
\"Don’tyouknowme？\"hegasped，droppingintoachair，andheturnedhisdrawnface，surmountedbyashockofgrayhair，tothelight。
Ilookedathimintently。OncebeforehadIseeneyebrowsthatmetoverthenoseinaninch-broadblackband，butforthelifeofmeI
couldnottellwhere。
\"Idon’tknowyou，\"Isaid，handinghimthewhisky。\"WhatcanIdoforyou？\"
Hetookagulpofthespiritraw，andshiveredinspiteofthesuffocatingheat。
\"I’vecomeback，\"herepeated;\"andIwastheKingofKafiristan——
meandDravot——crownedKingswewas！Inthisofficewesettledit——
yousettingthereandgivingusthebooks。IamPeachey，——PeacheyTaliaferroCarnehan，——andyou’vebeensettinghereeversince——O
Lord！\"
Iwasmorethanalittleastonished，andexpressedmyfeelingsaccordingly。
\"It’strue，\"saidCarnehan，withadrycackle，nursinghisfeet，whichwerewrappedinrags——\"trueasgospel。Kingswewere，withcrownsuponourheads——meandDravot——poorDan——oh，poor，poorDan，thatwouldnevertakeadvice，notthoughIbeggedofhim！\"
\"Takethewhisky，\"Isaid，\"andtakeyourowntime。Tellmeallyoucanrecollectofeverythingfrombeginningtoend。YougotacrosstheBorderonyourcamels，Dravotdressedasamadpriestandyouhisservant。Doyourememberthat？\"
\"Iain’tmad——yet，butIshallbethatwaysoon。OfcourseI
remember。Keeplookingatme，ormaybemywordswillgoalltopieces。Keeplookingatmeinmyeyesanddon’tsayanything。\"
IleanedforwardandlookedintohisfaceassteadilyasIcould。HedroppedonehanduponthetableandIgraspeditbythewrist。Itwastwistedlikeabird’sclaw，anduponthebackwasaragged，red，diamond-shapedscar。
\"No，don’tlookthere。Lookatme，\"saidCarnehan。\"Thatcomesafterward，butfortheLord’ssakedon’tdistrackme。Weleftwiththatcaravan，meandDravotplayingallsortsofanticstoamusethepeoplewewerewith。Dravotusedtomakeuslaughintheeveningswhenallthepeoplewascookingtheirdinners——cookingtheirdinners，and……whatdidtheydothen？TheylitlittlefireswithsparksthatwentintoDravot’sbeard，andwealllaughed——fittodie。Littleredfirestheywas，goingintoDravot’sbigredbeard——
sofunny。\"Hiseyesleftmineandhesmiledfoolishly。
\"YouwentasfarasJagdallakwiththatcaravan，\"Isaid，ataventure，\"afteryouhadlitthosefires。ToJagdallak，whereyouturnedofftotrytogetintoKafiristan。\"
\"No，wedidn’t，neither。Whatareyoutalkingabout？WeturnedoffbeforeJagdallak，becauseweheardtheroadswasgood。Buttheywasn’tgoodenoughforourtwocamels——mineandDravot’s。Whenweleftthecaravan，Dravottookoffallhisclothesandminetoo，andsaidwewouldbeheathen，becausetheKafirsdidn’tallowMohammedanstotalktothem。Sowedressedbetwixtandbetween，andsuchasightasDanielDravotIneversawyetnorexpecttoseeagain。Heburnedhalfhisbeard，andslungasheepskinoverhisshoulder，andshavedhisheadintopatterns。Heshavedminetoo，andmademewearoutrageousthingstolooklikeaheathen。Thatwasinamostmountaineouscountry，andourcamelscouldn’tgoalonganymorebecauseofthemountains。Theyweretallandblack，andcominghomeIsawthemfightlikewildgoats——therearelotsofgoatsinKafiristan。Andthesemountains，theyneverkeepstill，nomorethanthegoats。Alwaysfightingtheyare，anddon’tletyousleepatnight。\"
\"Takesomemorewhisky，\"Isaid，veryslowly。\"WhatdidyouandDanielDravotdowhenthecamelscouldgonofartherbecauseoftheroughroadsthatledintoKafiristan？\"
\"Whatdidwhichdo？TherewasapartycalledPeacheyTaliaferroCarnehanthatwaswithDravot。ShallItellyouabouthim？Hediedoutthereinthecold。SlapfromthebridgefelloldPeachey，turningandtwistingintheairlikeapennywhirligigthatyoucanselltotheAmir。No;theywastwoforthreeha’pence，thosewhirligigs，orIammuchmistakenandwofulsore……Andthenthesecamelswerenouse，andPeacheysaidtoDravot，’FortheLord’ssakelet’sgetoutofthisbeforeourheadsarechoppedoff，’
andwiththattheykilledthecamelsallamongthemountains，nothavinganythinginparticulartoeat，butfirsttheytookofftheboxeswiththegunsandtheammunition，tilltwomencamealongdrivingfourmules。Dravotupanddancesinfrontofthem，singing，’Sellmefourmules。’Saysthefirstman，’Ifyouarerichenoughtobuy，youarerichenoughtorob;’butbeforeeverhecouldputhishandtohisknife，Dravotbreakshisneckoverhisknee，andtheotherpartyrunsaway。SoCarnehanloadedthemuleswiththeriflesthatwastakenoffthecamels，andtogetherwestartsforwardintothosebitter-coldmountaineousparts，andneveraroadbroaderthanthebackofyourhand。\"
Hepausedforamoment，whileIaskedhimifhecouldrememberthenatureofthecountrythroughwhichhehadjourneyed。
\"IamtellingyouasstraightasIcan，butmyheadisn’tasgoodasitmightbe。TheydrovenailsthroughittomakemehearbetterhowDravotdied。Thecountrywasmountaineousandthemulesweremostcontrary，andtheinhabitantswasdispersedandsolitary。Theywentupandup，anddownanddown，andthatotherparty，Carnehan，wasimploringofDravotnottosingandwhistlesoloud，forfearofbringingdownthetremenjusavalanches。ButDravotsaysthatifaKingcouldn’tsingitwasn’tworthbeingKing，andwhackedthemulesovertherump，andnevertooknoheedfortencolddays。Wecametoabiglevelvalleyallamongthemountains，andthemuleswereneardead，sowekilledthem，nothavinganythinginspecialforthemorustoeat。Wesatupontheboxes，andplayedoddandevenwiththecartridgesthatwasjoltedout。
\"Thentenmenwithbowsandarrowsrandownthatvalley，chasingtwentymenwithbowsandarrows，andtherowwastremenjus。
Theywasfairmen——fairerthanyouorme——withyellowhairandremarkablewellbuilt。SaysDravot，unpackingtheguns，’Thisisthebeginningofthebusiness。We’llfightforthetenmen，’andwiththathefirestworiflesatthetwentymen，anddropsoneofthemattwohundredyardsfromtherockwherehewassitting。Theothermenbegantorun，butCarnehanandDravotsitsontheboxespickingthemoffatallranges，upanddownthevalley。Thenwegoesuptothetenmenthathadrunacrossthesnowtoo，andtheyfiresafootylittlearrowatus。Dravotheshootsabovetheirheads，andtheyallfallsdownflat。Thenhewalksoverthemandkicksthem，andthenheliftsthemupandshakeshandsallroundtomakethemfriendlylike。Hecallsthemandgivesthemtheboxestocarry，andwaveshishandforalltheworldasthoughhewasKingalready。Theytakestheboxesandhimacrossthevalleyandupthehillintoapinewoodonthetop，wheretherewashalfadozenbigstoneidols。Dravothegoestothebiggest——afellowtheycallImbra——andlaysarifleandacartridgeathisfeet，rubbinghisnoserespectfulywithhisownnose，pattinghimonthehead，andnodshishead，andsays，’That’sallright。I’mintheknowtoo，andtheseoldjimjamsaremyfriends。’Thenheopenshismouthandpointsdownit，andwhenthefirstmanbringshimfood，hesays，’No;’andwhenthesecondmanbringshimfood，hesays’no;’butwhenoneoftheoldpriestsandthebossofthevillagebringshimfood，hesays，’Yes;’veryhaughty，andeatsitslow。Thatwashowhecametoourfirstvillagewithoutanytrouble，justasthoughwehadtumbledfromtheskies。Butwetumbledfromoneofthosedamnedrope-bridges，yousee，and——youcouldn’texpectamantolaughmuchafterthat？\"
\"Takesomemorewhiskyandgoon，\"Isaid。\"Thatwasthefirstvillageyoucameinto。HowdidyougettobeKing？\"
\"Iwasn’tKing，\"saidCarnehan。\"DravothewastheKing，andahandsomemanhelookedwiththegoldcrownonhisheadandall。
Himandtheotherpartystayedinthatvillage，andeverymorningDravotsatbythesideofoldImbra，andthepeoplecameandworshipped。ThatwasDravot’sorder。Thenalotofmencameintothevalley，andCarnehanDravotpicksthemoffwiththeriflesbeforetheyknewwheretheywas，andrunsdownintothevalleyandupagaintheotherside，andfindsanothervillage，sameasthefirstone，andthepeopleallfallsdownflatontheirfaces，andDravotsays，’Nowwhatisthetroublebetweenyoutwovillages？’
andthepeoplepointstoawoman，asfairasyouorme，thatwascarriedoff，andDravottakesherbacktothefirstvillageandcountsupthedead——eighttherewas。ForeachdeadmanDravotpoursalittlemilkonthegroundandwaveshisarmslikeawhirligig，and’That’sallright，’sayshe。ThenheandCarnehantakesthebigbossofeachvillagebythearm，andwalksthemdownthevalley，andshowsthemhowtoscratchalinewithaspearrightdownthevalley，andgiveseachasodofturffrombothsidesoftheline。Thenallthepeoplecomesdownandshoutslikethedevilandall，andDravotsays，’Goanddigtheland，andbefruitfulandmultiply，’whichtheydid，thoughtheydidn’tunderstand。Thenweasksthenamesofthingsintheirlingo——breadandwaterandfireandidolsandsuch;andDravotleadsthepriestofeachvillageuptotheidol，andsayshemustsitthereandjudgethepeople，andifanythinggoeswrongheistobeshot。
\"Nextweektheywasallturningupthelandinthevalleyasquietasbeesandmuchprettier，andthepriestsheardallthecomplaintsandtoldDravotindumb-showwhatitwasabout。’That’sjustthebeginning，’saysDravot。’Theythinkwe’reGods。’HeandCarnehanpicksouttwentygoodmenandshowsthemhowtoclickoffarifleandformfoursandadvanceinline;andtheywasverypleasedtodoso，andclevertoseethehangofit。Thenhetakesouthispipeandhisbaccy-pouch，andleavesoneatonevillageandoneattheother，andoffwetwogoestoseewhatwastobedoneinthenextvalley。Thatwasallrock，andtherewasalittlevillagethere，andCarnehansays，’Send’emtotheoldvalleytoplant，’andtakes’emthereandgives’emsomelandthatwasn’ttookbefore。Theywereapoorlot，andweblooded’emwithakidbeforeletting’emintothenewKingdom。Thatwastoimpressthepeople，andthentheysettleddownquiet，andCarnehanwentbacktoDravot，whohadgotintoanothervalley，allsnowandiceandmostmountaineous。
Therewasnopeoplethere，andtheArmygotafraid;soDravotshootsoneofthem，andgoesontillhefindssomepeopleinavillage，andtheArmyexplainsthatunlessthepeoplewantstobekilledtheyhadbetternotshoottheirlittlematchlocks，fortheyhadmatchlocks。Wemakesfriendswiththepriest，andIstaystherealonewithtwooftheArmy，teachingthemenhowtodrill;andathunderingbigChiefcomesacrossthesnowwithkettledrumsandhornstwanging，becauseheheardtherewasanewGodkickingabout。Carnehansightsforthebrownofthemenhalfamileacrossthesnowandwingsoneofthem。ThenhesendsamessagetotheChiefthat，unlesshewishedtobekilled，hemustcomeandshakehandswithmeandleavehisarmsbehind。TheChiefcomesalonefirst，andCarnehanshakeshandswithhimandwhirlshisarmsabout，sameasDravotused，andverymuchsurprisedthatChiefwas，andstrokesmyeyebrows。ThenCarnehangoesalonetotheChief，andaskshimindumb-showifhehadanenemyhehated。’I
have，’saysthechief。SoCarnehanweedsoutthepickofhismen，andsetsthetwooftheArmytoshowthemdrill，andattheendoftwoweeksthemencanmanoeuvreaboutaswellasVolunteers。SohemarcheswiththeChieftoagreatbigplainonthetopofamountain，andtheChief’smenrushesintoavillageandtakesit;
wethreeMartinisfiringintothebrownoftheenemy。Sowetookthatvillagetoo，andIgivestheChiefaragfrommycoat，andsays，’OccupytillIcome;’whichwasscriptural。Bywayofareminder，whenmeandtheArmywaseighteenhundredyardsaway，Idropsabulletnearhimstandingonthesnow，andallthepeoplefallsflatontheirfaces。ThenIsendsalettertoDravotwhereverhebebylandorbysea。\"
AttheriskofthrowingthecreatureoutoftrainIinterrupted：\"Howcouldyouwritealetterupyonder？\"
\"Theletter？——oh！——theletter！Keeplookingatmebetweentheeyes，please。Itwasastring-talkletter，thatwe’dlearnedthewayofitfromablindbeggarinthePunjab。\"
Irememberthattherehadoncecometotheofficeablindmanwithaknottedtwig，andapieceofstringwhichhewoundroundthetwigaccordingtosomecipherofhisown。Hecould，afterthelapseofdaysorhours，repeatthesentencewhichhehadreeledup。
Hehadreducedthealphabettoelevenprimitivesounds，andtriedtoteachmehismethod，butIcouldnotunderstand。
\"IsentthatlettertoDravot，\"saidCarnehan，\"andtoldhimtocomebackbecausethisKingdomwasgrowingtoobigformetohandle;
andthenIstruckforthefirstvalley，toseehowthepriestswereworking。TheycalledthevillagewetookalongwiththeChief，Bashkai，andthefirstvillagewetook，Er-Heb。ThepriestsatEr-
Hebwasdoingallright，buttheyhadalotofpendingcasesaboutlandtoshowme，andsomemenfromanothervillagehadbeenfiringarrowsatnight。Iwentoutandlookedforthatvillage，andfiredfourroundsatitfromathousandyards。ThatusedallthecartridgesIcaredtospend，andIwaitedforDravot，whohadbeenawaytwoorthreemonths，andIkeptmypeoplequiet。
\"OnemorningIheardthedevil’sownnoiseofdrumsandhorns，andDanDravotmarchesdownthehillwithhisArmyandatailofhundredsofmen，and，whichwasthemostamazing，agreatgoldcrownonhishead。’MyGord，Carnehan，’saysDaniel，’thisisatremenjusbusiness，andwe’vegotthewholecountryasfarasit’sworthhaving。IamthesonofAlexanderbyQueenSemiramis，andyou’remyyoungerbrotherandaGodtoo！It’sthebiggestthingwe’veeverseen。I’vebeenmarchingandfightingforsixweekswiththeArmy，andeveryfootylittlevillageforfiftymileshascomeinrejoiceful;andmorethanthat，I’vegotthekeyofthewholeshow，asyou’llsee，andI’vegotacrownforyou！Itold’emtomaketwoof’emataplacecalledShu，wherethegoldliesintherocklikesuetinmutton。GoldI’veseen，andturquoiseI’vekickedoutofthecliffs，andthere’sgarnetsinthesandsoftheriver，andhere’sachunkofamberthatamanbroughtme。Callupallthepriestsand，here，takeyourcrown。’
\"Oneofthemenopensablackhairbag，andIslipsthecrownon。
Itwastoosmallandtooheavy，butIworeitfortheglory。
Hammeredgolditwas——fivepoundsweight，likeahoopofabarrel。
\"’Peachey，’saysDravot，’wedon’twanttofightnomore。TheCraft’sthetrick，sohelpme！’andhebringsforwardthatsameChiefthatIleftatBashkai——BillyFishwecalledhimafterward，becausehewassolikeBillyFishthatdrovethebigtank-engineatMachontheBolanintheolddays。’Shakehandswithhim，’saysDravot;andIshookhandsandnearlydropped，forBillyFishgavemetheGrip。Isaidnothing，buttriedhimwiththeFellow-craftGrip。Heanswersallright，andItriedtheMaster’sGrip，butthatwasaslip。’AFellow-craftheis！’IsaystoDan。’Doesheknowtheword？’’Hedoes，’saysDan，’andallthepriestsknow。It’samiracle！
TheChiefsandthepriestscanworkaFellow-craftLodgeinawaythat’sverylikeours，andthey’vecutthemarksontherocks，buttheydon’tknowtheThirdDegree，andthey’vecometofindout。It’sGord’sTruth。I’veknowntheselongyearsthattheAfghansknewuptotheFellow-craftDegree，butthisisamiracle。AGodandaGrandMasteroftheCraftamI，andaLodgeintheThirdDegreeI
willopen，andwe’llraisetheheadpriestsandtheChiefsofthevillages。’
\"’It’sagainstallthelaw，’Isays，’holdingaLodgewithoutwarrantfromanyone;andyouknowweneverheldofficeinanyLodge。’
\"’It’samasterstrokeo’policy，’saysDravot。’Itmeansrunningthecountryaseasyasafour-wheeledbogieonadowngrade。Wecan’tstoptoinquirenow，orthey’llturnagainstus。I’vefortyChiefsatmyheel，andpassedandraisedaccordingtotheirmerittheyshallbe。Billetthesemenonthevillages，andseethatwerunupaLodgeofsomekind。ThetempleofImbrawilldoforaLodge-
room。Thewomenmustmakeapronsasyoushowthem。I’llholdaleveeofChiefsto-nightandLodgeto-morrow。’
\"Iwasfairrunoffmylegs，butIwasn’tsuchafoolasnottoseewhatapullthisCraftbusinessgaveus。Ishowedthepriests’
familieshowtomakeapronsofthedegrees，butforDravot’saprontheblueborderandmarkswasmadeofturquoiselumpsonwhitehide，notcloth。WetookagreatsquarestoneinthetemplefortheMaster’schair，andlittlestonesfortheofficer’schairs，andpaintedtheblackpavementwithwhitesquares，anddidwhatwecouldtomakethingsregular。
\"Attheleveewhichwasheldthatnightonthehillsidewithbigbonfires，DravotgivesoutthathimandmewereGodsandsonsofAlexander，andPassedGrandMastersintheCraft，andwascometomakeKafiristanacountrywhereeverymanshouldeatinpeaceanddrinkinquiet，andspeciallyobeyus。ThentheChiefscomeroundtoshakehands，andtheyweresohairyandwhiteandfairitwasjustshakinghandswitholdfriends。WegavethemnamesaccordingastheywaslikemenwehadknowninIndia——BillyFish，HollyDilworth，PikkyKergan，thatwasBazaar-masterwhenIwasatMhow，andsoon，andsoon。
\"ThemostamazingmiracleswasatLodgenextnight。Oneoftheoldpriestswaswatchinguscontinuous，andIfeltuneasy，forI
knewwe’dhavetofudgetheRitual，andIdidn’tknowwhatthemenknew。TheoldpriestwasastrangercomeinfrombeyondthevillageofBashkai。TheminuteDravotputsontheMaster’sapronthatthegirlshadmadeforhim，thepriestfetchesawhoopandahowl，andtriestooverturnthestonethatDravotwassittingon。’It’sallupnow，’Isays。’ThatcomesofmeddlingwiththeCraftwithoutwarrant！’Dravotneverwinkedaneye，notwhentenprieststookandtiltedovertheGrandMaster’schair——whichwastosay，thestoneofImbra。Thepriestbeginsrubbingthebottomendofittoclearawaytheblackdirt，andpresentlyheshowsalltheotherprieststheMaster’sMark，sameaswasonDravot’sapron，cutintothestone。NoteventhepriestsofthetempleofImbraknewitwasthere。TheoldchapfallsflatonhisfaceatDravot’sfeetandkisses’em。’Luckagain，’saysDravot，acrosstheLodge，tome;’theysayit’sthemissingMarkthatnoonecouldunderstandthewhyof。
We’remorethansafenow。’Thenhebangsthebuttofhisgunforagavelandsays，’ByvirtueoftheauthorityvestedinmebymyownrighthandandthehelpofPeachey，IdeclaremyselfGrandMasterofallFreemasonryinKafiristaninthistheMotherLodgeo’thecountry，andKingofKafiristanequallywithPeachey！’AtthatheputsonhiscrownandIputsonmine，——IwasdoingSeniorWarden，——andweopenstheLodgeinmostampleform。Itwasanamazingmiracle！ThepriestsmovedinLodgethroughthefirsttwodegreesalmostwithouttelling，asifthememorywascomingbacktothem。AfterthatPeacheyandDravotraisedsuchaswasworthy——
highpriestsandChiefsoffar-offvillages。BillyFishwasthefirst，andIcantellyouwescaredthesouloutofhim。ItwasnotinanywayaccordingtoRitual，butitservedourturn。Wedidn’traisemorethantenofthebiggestmen，becausewedidn’twanttomaketheDegreecommon。Andtheywasclamouringtoberaised。
\"’Inanothersixmonths，’saysDravot，’we’llholdanotherCommunicationandseehowyouareworking。’Thenheasksthemabouttheirvillages，andlearnsthattheywasfightingoneagainsttheother，andweresickandtiredofit。Andwhentheywasn’tdoingthattheywasfightingwiththeMohammedans。’Youcanfightthosewhentheycomeintoourcountry，’saysDravot。’TelloffeverytenthmanofyourtribesforaFrontierguard，andsendtwohundredatatimetothisvalleytobedrilled。Nobodyisgoingtobeshotorspearedanymoresolongashedoeswell，andIknowthatyouwon’tcheatme，becauseyou’rewhitepeople——sonsofAlexander——andnotlikecommonblackMohammedans。Youaremypeople，and，byGod，’sayshe，runningoffintoEnglishattheend，’I’llmakeadamnedfineNationofyou，orI’lldieinthemaking！’
\"Ican’ttellallwedidforthenextsixmonths，becauseDravotdidalotIcouldn’tseethehangof，andhelearnedtheirlingoinawayInevercould。Myworkwastohelpthepeopleplough，andnowandagaingooutwithsomeoftheArmyandseewhattheothervillagesweredoing，andmake’emthrowropebridgesacrosstheravineswhichcutupthecountryhorrid。Dravotwasverykindtome，butwhenhewalkedupanddowninthepinewoodpullingthatbloodyredbeardofhiswithbothfistsIknewhewasthinkingplansIcouldnotadviseabout，andIjustwaitedfororders。
\"ButDravotnevershowedmedisrespectbeforethepeople。TheywereafraidofmeandtheArmy，buttheylovedDan。HewasthebestoffriendswiththepriestsandtheChiefs;butanyonecouldcomeacrossthehillswithacomplaint，andDravotwouldhearhimoutfair，andcallfourprieststogetherandsaywhatwastobedone。
HeusedtocallinBillyFishfromBashkai，andPikkyKerganfromShu，andanoldChiefwecalledKafuzelum，——itwaslikeenoughtohisrealname，——andholdcouncilswith’emwhentherewasanyfightingtobedoneinsmallvillages。ThatwashisCouncilofWar，andthefourpriestsofBashkai，Shu，Khawak，andMadorawashisPrivyCouncil。Betweenthelotof’emtheysentme，withfortymenandtwentyrifles，andsixtymencarryingturquoises，intotheGhorbandcountrytobuythosehand-madeMartinirifles，thatcomeoutoftheAmir’sworkshopsatKabul，fromoneoftheAmir’sHeratiregimentsthatwouldhavesoldtheveryteethoutoftheirmouthsforturquoises。
\"IstayedinGhorbandamonth，andgavetheGovernortherethepickofmybasketsforhush-money，andbribedtheColoneloftheregimentsomemore，and，betweenthetwoandthetribes-people，wegotmorethanahundredhand-madeMartinis，ahundredgoodKohatJezailsthat’llthrowtosixhundredyards，andfortyman-
loadsofverybadammunitionfortherifles。IcamebackwithwhatIhad，anddistributed’emamongthementhattheChiefssentintometodrill。Dravotwastoobusytoattendtothosethings，buttheoldArmythatwefirstmadehelpedme，andweturnedoutfivehundredmenthatcoulddrill，andtwohundredthatknewhowtoholdarmsprettystraight。Eventhosecork-screwed，hand-madegunswasamiracletothem。Dravottalkedbigaboutpowder-
shopsandfactories，walkingupanddowninthepinewoodwhenthewinterwascomingon。
\"’Iwon’tmakeaNation，’sayshe。’I’llmakeanEmpire！Thesemenaren’tniggers;they’reEnglish！Lookattheireyes——lookattheirmouths。Lookatthewaytheystandup。Theysitonchairsintheirownhouses。They’retheLostTribes，orsomethinglikeit，andthey’vegrowntobeEnglish。I’lltakeacensusinthespringifthepriestsdon’tgetfrightened。Theremustbeafairtwomillionof’eminthesehills。Thevillagesarefullo’littlechildren。Twomillionpeople——twohundredandfiftythousandfightingmen——andallEnglish！Theyonlywanttheriflesandalittledrilling。Twohundredandfiftythousandmen，readytocutinonRussia’srightflankwhenshetriesforIndia！Peachey，man，’hesays，chewinghisbeardingreathunks，’weshallbeEmperors——EmperorsoftheEarth！RajahBrookewillbeasucklingtous。I’lltreatwiththeViceroyonequalterms。I’llaskhimtosendmetwelvepickedEnglish——twelvethatIknowof——tohelpusgovernabit。There’sMackray，SerjeantPensioneratSegowli——many’sthegooddinnerhe’sgivenme，andhiswifeapairoftrousers。There’sDonkin，theWarderofTounghooJail;there’shundredsthatIcouldlaymyhandonifIwasinIndia。TheViceroyshalldoitforme;I’llsendamanthroughinthespringforthosemen，andI’llwriteforadispensationfromtheGrandLodgeforwhatI’vedoneasGrandMaster。That——andalltheSnidersthat’llbethrownoutwhenthenativetroopsinIndiatakeuptheMartini。They’llbewornsmooth，butthey’lldoforfightinginthesehills。TwelveEnglish，ahundredthousandSnidersrunthroughtheAmir’scountryindriblets，——I’dbecontentwithtwentythousandinoneyear，——andwe’dbeanEmpire。
WheneverythingwasshipshapeI’dhandoverthecrown——thiscrownI’mwearingnow——toQueenVictoriaonmyknees，andshe’dsay，\"Riseup，SirDanielDravot。\"Oh，it’sbig！It’sbig，Itellyou！
Butthere’ssomuchtobedoneineveryplace——Bashkai，Khawak，Shu，andeverywhereelse。’
\"’Whatisit？’Isays。’Therearenomoremencomingintobedrilledthisautumn。Lookatthosefatblackclouds。They’rebringingthesnow。’
\"’Itisn’tthat，’saysDaniel，puttinghishandveryhardonmyshoulder;’andIdon’twishtosayanythingthat’sagainstyou，fornootherlivingmanwouldhavefollowedmeandmademewhatIamasyouhavedone。You’reafirst-classCommander-in-Chief，andthepeopleknowyou;but——it’sabigcountry，andsomehowyoucan’thelpme，Peachey，inthewayIwanttobehelped。’
\"’Gotoyourblastedpriests，then！’Isaid，andIwassorrywhenI
madethatremark，butitdidhurtmesoretofindDanieltalkingsosuperior，whenI’ddrilledallthemenanddoneallhetoldme。
\"’Don’tlet’squarrel，Peachey，’saysDaniel，withoutcursing。’You’reaKingtoo，andthehalfofthisKingdomisyours;butcan’tyousee，Peachey，wewantcleverermenthanusnow——threeorfourof’em，thatwecanscatteraboutforourDeputies。It’sahugeousgreatState，andIcan’talwaystelltherightthingtodo，andIhaven’ttimeforallIwanttodo，andhere’sthewintercomingonandall。’
Heputhalfhisbeardintohismouth，allredlikethegoldofhiscrown。
\"’I’msorry，Daniel，’saysI。’I’vedoneallIcould。I’vedrilledthemenandshownthepeoplehowtostacktheiroatsbetter;andI’vebroughtinthosetinwareriflesfromGhorband——butIknowwhatyou’redrivingat。ItakeitKingsalwaysfeeloppressedthatway。’
\"’There’sanotherthingtoo，’saysDravot，walkingupanddown。
’Thewinter’scoming，andthesepeoplewon’tbegivingmuchtrouble，andiftheydowecan’tmoveabout。Iwantawife。’
\"’ForGord’ssakeleavethewomenalone！’Isays。’We’vebothgotalltheworkwecan，thoughIamafool。RemembertheContrack，andkeepclearo’women。’\"
\"’TheContrackonlylastedtillsuchtimeaswewasKings;andKingswehavebeenthesemonthspast，’saysDravot，weighinghiscrowninhishand。’Yougogetawifetoo，Peachey——anice，strappin’，plumpgirlthat’llkeepyouwarminthewinter。They’reprettierthanEnglishgirls，andwecantakethepickof’em。Boil’emonceortwiceinhotwater，andthey’llcomeoutlikechickenandham。’
\"’Don’ttemptme！’Isays。’Iwillnothaveanydealingswithawoman，nottillweareadam’sidemoresettledthanwearenow。
I’vebeendoingtheworko’twomen，andyou’vebeendoingtheworkofthree。Let’slieoffabit，andseeifwecangetsomebettertobaccofromAfghancountryandruninsomegoodliquor;andnowomen。’\"
\"’Who’stalkingo’women？’saysDravot。’Isaidwife——aQueentobreedaKing’ssonfortheKing。AQueenoutofthestrongesttribe，that’llmakethemyourblood-brothers，andthat’llliebyyoursideandtellyouallthepeoplethinksaboutyouandtheirownaffairs。
That’swhatIwant。’
\"’DoyourememberthatBengaliwomanIkeptatMogulSeraiwhenIwasaplate-layer？’saysI。’Afatloto’goodshewastome。
Shetaughtmethelingoandoneortwootherthings;butwhathappened？SheranawaywiththeStation-master’sservantandhalfmymonth’spay。ThensheturnedupatDadurJunctionintowofahalf-caste，andhadtheimpidencetosayIwasherhusband——allamongthedriversintherunning-shedtoo！’
\"’We’vedonewiththat，’saysDravot;’thesewomenarewhiterthanyouorme，andaQueenIwillhaveforthewintermonths。’
\"’Forthelasttimeo’asking，Dan，donot，’Isays。’It’llonlybringusharm。TheBiblesaysthatKingsain’ttowastetheirstrengthonwomen，’speciallywhenthey’vegotanewrawKingdomtoworkover。’
\"’Forthelasttimeofanswering，Iwill，’saidDravot，andhewentawaythroughthepine-treeslookinglikeabigreddevil，thesunbeingonhiscrownandbeardandall。
\"ButgettingawifewasnotaseasyasDanthought。HeputitbeforetheCouncil，andtherewasnoanswertillBillyFishsaidthathe’dbetteraskthegirls。Dravotdamnedthemallround。
’What’swrongwithme？’heshouts，standingbytheidolImbra。’AmIadog，oramInotenoughofamanforyourwenches？Haven’tI
puttheshadowofmyhandoverthiscountry？WhostoppedthelastAfghanraid？’Itwasmereally，butDravotwastooangrytoremember。’Whoboughtyourguns？Whorepairedthebridges？
Who’stheGrandMasterofthesigncutinthestone？’sayshe，andhethumpedhishandontheblockthatheusedtositoninLodge，andatCouncil，whichopenedlikeLodgealways。BillyFishsaidnothing，andnomoredidtheothers。’Keepyourhairon，Dan，’saidI，’andaskthegirls。That’showit’sdoneatHome，andthesepeoplearequiteEnglish。’
\"’ThemarriageoftheKingisamatterofState，’saysDan，inawhite-hotrage，forhecouldfeel，Ihope，thathewasgoingagainsthisbettermind。HewalkedoutoftheCouncil-room，andtheotherssatstill，lookingattheground。
\"’BillyFish，’saysItotheChiefofBashkai，’what’sthedifficultyhere？Astraightanswertoatruefriend。’
\"’Youknow，’saysBillyFish。’Howshouldamantellyouwhoknowseverything？HowcandaughtersofmenmarryGodsorDevils？It’snotproper。’
\"IrememberedsomethinglikethatintheBible;but，ifafterseeingusaslongastheyhad，theystillbelievedwewereGods，itwasn’tformetoundeceivethem。
\"’AGodcandoanything，’saysI。’IftheKingisfondofagirlhe’llnotletherdie。’’She’llhaveto，’saidBillyFish。’ThereareallsortsofGodsandDevilsinthesemountains，andnowandagainagirlmarriesoneofthemandisn’tseenanymore。Besides，youtwoknowtheMarkcutinthestone。OnlytheGodsknowthat。WethoughtyouwerementillyoushowedthesignoftheMaster。’
\"IwishedthenthatwehadexplainedaboutthelossofthegenuinesecretsofaMasterMasonatthefirstgo-off;butIsaidnothing。Allthatnighttherewasablowingofhornsinalittledarktemplehalf-
waydownthehill，andIheardthegirlcryingfittodie。OneoftheprieststoldusthatshewasbeingpreparedtomarrytheKing。
\"’I’llhavenononsenseofthatkind，’saysDan。’Idon’twanttointerferewithyourcustoms，butI’lltakemyownwife。’’Thegirl’salittlebitafraid，’saysthepriest。’Shethinksshe’sgoingtodie，andtheyarea-hearteningofherupdowninthetemple。’
\"’Heartenherverytender，then，’saysDravot，’orI’llheartenyouwiththebuttofagunsoyou’llneverwanttobeheartenedagain。’
Helickedhislips，didDan，andstayedupwalkingaboutmorethanhalfthenight，thinkingofthewifethathewasgoingtogetinthemorning。Iwasn’tanymeanscomfortable，forIknewthatdealingswithawomaninforeignparts，thoughyouwasacrownedKingtwentytimesover，couldnotbutberisky。IgotupveryearlyinthemorningwhileDravotwasasleep，andIsawtheprieststalkingtogetherinwhispers，andtheChiefstalkingtogethertoo，andtheylookedatmeoutofthecornersoftheireyes。
\"’Whatisup，Fish？’IsaytotheBashkaiman，whowaswrappedupinhisfursandlookingsplendidtobehold。
\"’Ican’trightlysay，’sayshe;’butifyoucanmaketheKingdropallthisnonsenseaboutmarriage，you’llbedoinghimandmeandyourselfagreatservice。’
\"’ThatIdobelieve，’saysI。’Butsure，youknow，Billy，aswellasme，havingfoughtagainstandforus，thattheKingandmearenothingmorethantwoofthefinestmenthatGodAlmightyevermade。Nothingmore，Idoassureyou。’
\"’Thatmaybe，’saysBillyFish，’andyetIshouldbesorryifitwas。’
Hesinkshisheaduponhisgreatfurcloakforaminuteandthinks。
’King，’sayshe，’beyoumanorGodorDevil，I’llstickbyyouto-
day。Ihavetwentyofmymenwithme，andtheywillfollowme。
We’llgotoBashkaiuntilthestormblowsover。’
\"Alittlesnowhadfalleninthenight，andeverythingwaswhiteexceptthegreasyfatcloudsthatblewdownanddownfromthenorth。Dravotcameoutwithhiscrownonhishead，swinginghisarmsandstampinghisfeet，andlookingmorepleasedthanPunch。
\"’Forthelasttime，dropit，Dan，’saysI，inawhisper;’BillyFishheresaysthattherewillbearow。’
\"’Arowamongmypeople！’saysDravot。’Notmuch。Peachey，you’reafoolnottogetawifetoo。Where’sthegirl？’sayshe，withavoiceasloudasthebrayingofajackass。’CallupalltheChiefsandpriests，andlettheEmperorseeifhiswifesuitshim。’
\"Therewasnoneedtocallanyone。Theywereallthereleaningontheirgunsandspearsroundtheclearinginthecentreofthepinewood。Alotofpriestswentdowntothelittletempletobringupthegirl，andthehornsblewfittowakethedead。BillyFishsauntersroundandgetsasclosetoDanielashecould，andbehindhimstoodhistwentymenwithmatchlocks——notamanofthemundersixfeet。IwasnexttoDravot，andbehindmewastwentymenoftheregularArmy。Upcomesthegirl，andastrappingwenchshewas，coveredwithsilverandturquoises，butwhiteasdeath，andlookingbackeveryminuteatthepriests。
\"’She’lldo，’saidDan，lookingherover。’What’stobeafraidof，lass？Comeandkissme。’Heputshisarmroundher。Sheshutshereyes，givesabitofasqueak，anddowngoesherfaceinthesideofDan’sflaming-redbeard。
\"’Theslut’sbittenme！’sayshe，clappinghishandtohisneck，and，sureenough，hishandwasredwithblood。BillyFishandtwoofhismatchlockmencatchesholdofDanbytheshouldersanddragshimintotheBashkailot，whilethepriestshowlsintheirlingo，’NeitherGodnorDevil，butaman！’Iwasalltakenaback，forapriestcutatmeinfront，andtheArmybehindbeganfiringintotheBashkaimen。
\"’GodA’mighty！’saysDan，’whatisthemeaningo’this？’
\"’Comeback！Comeaway！’saysBillyFish。’RuinandMutinyisthematter。We’llbreakforBashkaiifwecan。’
\"Itriedtogivesomesortoforderstomymen，——themeno’theregularArmy，——butitwasnouse，soIfiredintothebrownof’emwithanEnglishMartinianddrilledthreebeggarsinaline。Thevalleywasfullofshouting，howlingcreatures，andeverysoulwasshrieking，’NotaGodnoraDevil，butonlyaman！’TheBashkaitroopsstucktoBillyFishalltheywereworth，buttheirmatchlockswasn’thalfasgoodastheKabulbreech-loaders，andfourofthemdropped。Danwasbellowinglikeabull，forhewasverywrathy;
andBillyFishhadahardjobtopreventhimrunningoutatthecrowd。
\"’Wecan’tstand，’saysBillyFish。’Makearunforitdownthevalley！Thewholeplaceisagainstus。’Thematchlock-menran，andwewentdownthevalleyinspiteofDravot。HewasswearinghorribleandcryingoutthathewasaKing。Thepriestsrolledgreatstonesonus，andtheregularArmyfiredhard，andtherewasn’tmorethansixmen，notcountingDan，BillyFish，andMe，thatcamedowntothebottomofthevalleyalive。
\"Thentheystoppedfiring，andthehornsinthetempleblewagain。
’Comeaway——forGord’ssakecomeaway！’saysBillyFish。’They’llsendrunnersouttoallthevillagesbeforeeverwegettoBashkai。I
canprotectyouthere，butIcan’tdoanythingnow。\"
\"MyownnotionisthatDanbegantogomadinhisheadfromthathour。Hestaredupanddownlikeastuckpig。Thenhewasallforwalkingbackaloneandkillingthepriestswithhisbarehands;
whichhecouldhavedone。’AnEmperoramI，’saysDaniel，’andnextyearIshallbeaKnightoftheQueen。’
\"’Allright，Dan，’saysI;’butcomealongnowwhilethere’stime。’
\"’It’syourfault，’sayshe，’fornotlookingafteryourArmybetter。
Therewasmutinyinthemidst，andyoudidn’tknow——youdamnedengine-driving，plate-laying，missionary’s-pass-huntinghound！’Hesatuponarockandcalledmeeveryfoulnamehecouldlaytongueto。Iwastooheart-sicktocare，thoughitwasallhisfoolishnessthatbroughtthesmash。
\"’I’msorry，Dan，’saysI，’butthere’snoaccountingfornatives。ThisbusinessisourFifty-seven。Maybewe’llmakesomethingoutofityet，whenwe’vegottoBashkai。’
\"’Let’sgettoBashkai，then，’saysDan，’and，byGod，whenIcomebackhereagainI’llsweepthevalleysothereisn’tabuginablanketleft！’
\"Wewalkedallthatday，andallthatnightDanwasstumpingupanddownonthesnow，chewinghisbeardandmutteringtohimself。
\"’There’snohopeo’gettingclear，’saidBillyFish。’Thepriestshavesentrunnerstothevillagestosaythatyouareonlymen。Whydidn’tyoustickonasGodstillthingswasmoresettled？I’madeadman，’saysBillyFish，andhethrowshimselfdownonthesnowandbeginstopraytohisGods。
\"Nextmorningwewasinacruelbadcountry——allupanddown，nolevelgroundatall，andnofood，either。ThesixBashkaimenlookedatBillyFishhungry-wayasiftheywantedtoasksomething，buttheyneversaidaword。Atnoonwecametothetopofaflatmountainallcoveredwithsnow，andwhenweclimbedupintoit，behold，therewasanArmyinpositionwaitinginthemiddle！
\"’Therunnershavebeenveryquick，’saysBillyFish，withalittlebitofalaugh。’Theyarewaitingforus。’
\"Threeorfourmenbegantofirefromtheenemy’sside，andachanceshottookDanielinthecalfoftheleg。Thatbroughthimtohissenses。HelooksacrossthesnowattheArmy，andseestheriflesthatwehadbroughtintothecountry。
\"’We’redonefor，’sayshe。’TheyareEnglishmen，thesepeople，——
andit’smyblastednonsensethathasbroughtyoutothis。Getback，BillyFish，andtakeyourmenaway;you’vedonewhatyoucould，andnowcutforit。Carnehan，’sayshe，’shakehandswithmeandgoalongwithBilly，Maybetheywon’tkillyou。I’llgoandmeet’emalone。It’smethatdidit！Me，theKing！’
\"’Go！’saysI。’GotoHell，Dan！I’mwithyouhere。BillyFish，youclearout，andwetwowillmeetthosefolk。’
\"’I’maChief，’saysBillyFish，quitequiet。’Istaywithyou。Mymencango。’
\"TheBashkaifellowsdidn’twaitforasecondword，butranoff，andDanandMeandBillyFishwalkedacrosstowherethedrumsweredrummingandthehornswerehorning。Itwascold——awfulcold。I’vegotthatcoldinthebackofmyheadnow。There’salumpofitthere。\"
Thepunka-coolieshadgonetosleep。Twokerosenelampswereblazingintheoffice，andtheperspirationpoureddownmyfaceandsplashedontheblotterasIleanedforward。Carnehanwasshivering，andIfearedthathismindmightgo。Iwipedmyface，tookafreshgripofthepiteouslymangledhands，andsaid，\"Whathappenedafterthat？\"
Themomentaryshiftofmyeyeshadbrokentheclearcurrent。
\"Whatwasyoupleasedtosay？\"whinedCarnehan。\"Theytookthemwithoutanysound。Notalittlewhisperallalongthesnow，notthoughtheKingknockeddownthefirstmanthatsethandonhim——notthougholdPeacheyfiredhislastcartridgeintothebrownof’em。Notasinglesolitarysounddidthoseswinesmake。Theyjustcloseduptight，andItellyoutheirfursstunk。TherewasamancalledBillyFish，agoodfriendofusall，andtheycuthisthroat，Sir，thenandthere，likeapig;andtheKingkicksupthebloodysnowandsays，’We’vehadadashedfinerunforourmoney。
What’scomingnext？’ButPeachey，PeacheyTaliaferro，Itellyou，Sir，inconfidenceasbetwixttwofriends，helosthishead，Sir。No，hedidn’t，neither。TheKinglosthishead，sohedid，allalongo’oneofthosecunningropebridges。Kindlyletmehavethepaper-cutter，Sir。Ittiltedthisway。Theymarchedhimamileacrossthatsnowtoaropebridgeoveraravinewithariveratthebottom。Youmayhaveseensuch。Theyproddedhimbehindlikeanox。’Damnyoureyes！’saystheKing。’D’yousupposeIcan’tdielikeagentleman？’
HeturnstoPeachey——Peacheythatwascryinglikeachild。’I’vebroughtyoutothis，Peachey，’sayshe。’BroughtyououtofyourhappylifetobekilledinKafiristan，whereyouwaslateCommander-in-ChiefoftheEmperor’sforces。Sayyouforgiveme，Peachey。’’Ido，’saysPeachey。’FullyandfreelydoIforgiveyou，Dan。’’Shakehands，Peachey，’sayshe。’I’mgoingnow。’Outhegoes，lookingneitherrightnorleft，andwhenhewasplumbinthemiddleofthosedizzydancingropes，’Cutyoubeggars，’heshouts;
andtheycut，andoldDanfell，turningroundandroundandround，twentythousandmiles，forhetookhalfanhourtofalltillhestruckthewater，andIcouldseehisbodycaughtonarockwiththegoldcrownclosebeside。
\"ButdoyouknowwhattheydidtoPeacheybetweentwopine-
trees？Theycrucifiedhim，Sir，asPeachey’shandwillshow。Theyusedwoodenpegsforhishandsandfeet;buthedidn’tdie。Hehungthereandscreamed，andtheytookhimdownnextday，andsaiditwasamiraclethathewasn’tdead。Theytookhimdown——
pooroldPeacheythathadn’tdonethemanyharm——thathadn’tdonethemany——\"
Herockedtoandfroandweptbitterly，wipinghiseyeswiththebackofhisscarredhandsandmoaninglikeachildforsometenminutes。
\"Theywascruelenoughtofeedhimupinthetemple，becausetheysaidhewasmoreofaGodthanoldDanielthatwasaman。Thentheyturnedhimoutonthesnow，andtoldhimtogohome，andPeacheycamehomeinaboutayear，beggingalongtheroadsquitesafe;forDanielDravothewalkedbeforeandsaid，’Comealong，Peachey。It’sabigthingwe’redoing。’Themountainstheydancedatnight，andthemountainstheytriedtofallonPeachey’shead，butDanhehelduphishand，andPeacheycamealongbentdouble。HeneverletgoofDan’shand，andheneverletgoofDan’shead。Theygaveittohimasapresentinthetemple，toremindhimnottocomeagain;andthoughthecrownwaspuregoldandPeacheywasstarving，neverwouldPeacheysellthesame。YouknowDravot，Sir！YouknewRightWorshipfulBrotherDravot！Lookathimnow！\"
Hefumbledinthemassofragsroundhisbentwaist;broughtoutablackhorsehairbagembroideredwithsilverthread;andshooktherefromontomytable——thedried，witheredheadofDanielDravot！Themorningsun，thathadlongbeenpalingthelamps，strucktheredbeardandblindsunkeneyes;struck，too，aheavycircletofgoldstuddedwithrawturquoises，thatCarnehanplacedtenderlyonthebatteredtemples。
\"Yoube’oldnow，\"saidCarnehan，\"theEmperorinhis’abitashelived——theKingofKafiristanwithhiscrownuponhishead。PooroldDanielthatwasamonarchonce！\"
Ishuddered，for，inspiteofdefacementsmanifold，IrecognisedtheheadofthemanofMarwarJunction。Carnehanrosetogo。I
attemptedtostophim。Hewasnotfittowalkabroad。\"Letmetakeawaythewhisky，andgivemealittlemoney，\"hegasped。\"IwasaKingonce。I’llgototheDeputyCommissionerandasktosetinthePoorhousetillIgetmyhealth。No，thankyou，Ican’twaittillyougetacarriageforme。I’veurgentprivateaffairs——inthesouth——atMarwar。\"
HeshambledoutoftheofficeanddepartedinthedirectionoftheDeputyCommissioner’shouse。ThatdayatnoonIhadoccasiontogodowntheblinding-hotMall，andIsawacrookedmancrawlingalongthewhitedustoftheroadside，hishatinhishand，quaveringdolorouslyafterthefashionofstreet-singersatHome。Therewasnotasoulinsight，andhewasoutofallpossibleearshotofthehouses。Andhesangthroughhisnose，turninghisheadfromrighttoleft：
\"TheSonofMangoesforthtowar，Agoldencrowntogain;
Hisblood-redbannerstreamsafar——
WhofollowsinHistrain？\"
Iwaitedtohearnomore，butputthepoorwretchintomycarriageanddrovehimofftothenearestmissionaryforeventualtransfertotheAsylum。Herepeatedthehymntwicewhilehewaswithme，whomhedidnotintheleastrecognise，andIlefthimsingingittothemissionary。
TwodayslaterIinquiredafterhiswelfareoftheSuperintendentoftheAsylum。
\"Hewasadmittedsufferingfromsunstroke。Hediedearlyyesterdaymorning，\"saidtheSuperintendent。\"Isittruethathewashalfanhourbareheadedinthesunatmidday？\"
\"Yes，\"saidI;\"butdoyouhappentoknowifhehadanythinguponhimbyanychancewhenhedied？\"
\"Nottomyknowledge，\"saidtheSuperintendent。
Andtherethematterrests。
\"THEFINESTSTORYINTHEWORLD\"
\"O’evertheknightlyyearsweregoneWiththeoldworldtothegrave，IwasakinginBabylonAndyouwereaChristianslave。\"-
W。E。Henley。
HisnamewasCharlieMears;hewastheonlysonofhismotherwhowasawidow，andhelivedinthenorthofLondon，comingintotheCityeverydaytoworkinabank。Hewastwentyyearsoldandsufferedfromaspirations。Imethiminapublicbilliard-saloonwherethemarkercalledhimbyhisgivenname，andhecalledthemarker\"Bulls-eyes。\"Charleyexplained，alittlenervously，thathehadonlycometotheplacetolookon，andsincelookingonatgamesofskillisnotacheapamusementfortheyoung，IsuggestedthatCharlieshouldgobacktohismother。
Thatwasourfirststeptowardbetteracquaintance。HewouldcallonmesometimesintheeveningsinsteadofrunningaboutLondonwithhisfellow-clerks;andbeforelong，speakingofhimselfasayoungmanmust，hetoldmeofhisaspirations，whichwereallliterary。Hedesiredtomakehimselfanundyingnamechieflythroughverse，thoughhewasnotabovesendingstoriesofloveanddeathtothedrop-a-penny-in-the-slotjournals。ItwasmyfatetositstillwhileCharliereadmepoemsofmanyhundredlines，andbulkyfragmentsofplaysthatwouldsurelyshaketheworld。Myrewardwashisunreservedconfidence，andtheself-revelationsandtroublesofayoungmanarealmostasholyasthoseofamaiden。
Charliehadneverfalleninlove，butwasanxioustodosoonthefirstopportunity;hebelievedinallthingsgoodandallthingshonorable，but，atthesametime，wascuriouslycarefultoletmeseethatheknewhiswayabouttheworldasbefittedabankclerkontwenty-fiveshillingsaweek。Herhymed\"dove\"with\"love\"
and\"moon\"with\"June，\"anddevoutlybelievedthattheyhadneversobeenrhymedbefore。Thelonglamegapsinhisplayshefilledupwithhastywordsofapologyanddescriptionandswepton，seeingallthatheintendedtodosoclearlythatheesteemeditalreadydone，andturnedtomeforapplause。
Ifancythathismotherdidnotencouragehisaspirations，andI
knowthathiswriting-tableathomewastheedgeofhiswashstand。
Thishetoldmealmostattheoutsetofouracquaintance;whenhewasravagingmybookshelves，andalittlebeforeIwasimploredtospeakthetruthastohischancesof\"writingsomethingreallygreat，youknow。\"MaybeIencouragedhimtoomuch，for，onenight，hecalledonme，hiseyesflamingwithexcitement，andsaidbreathlessly：
\"Doyoumind-canyouletmestayhereandwriteallthisevening？
Iwon’tinterruptyou，Iwon’treally。There’snoplaceformetowriteinatmymother’s。\"
\"What’sthetrouble？\"Isaid，knowingwellwhatthattroublewas。
\"I’veanotioninmyheadthatwouldmakethemostsplendidstorythatwaseverwritten。Doletmewriteitouthere。It’ssuckanotion！\"
Therewasnoresistingtheappeal。Isethimatable;hehardlythankedme，butplungedintotheworkatonce。Forhalfanhourthepenscratchedwithoutstopping。ThenCharliesighedandtuggedhishair。Thescratchinggrewslower，thereweremoreerasures，andatlastceased。Thefineststoryintheworldwouldnotcomeforth。
\"Itlookssuchawfulrotnow\"hesaid，mournfully。\"AndyetitseemedsogoodwhenIwasthinkingaboutit。~~hat’swrong？\"
Icouldnotdisheartenhimbysayingthetruth。SoIanswered：
\"Perhapsyoudon’tfeelinthemoodforwriting。\"
\"YesIdo-exceptwhenIlookatthisstuff。Ugh！\"
\"Readmewhatyou’vedone，\"Isaid。Heread，anditwaswondrousbadandhepausedatallthespeciallyturgidsentences，expectingalittleapproval;forhewasproudofthosesentences，asIknewhewouldbe。
\"Itneedscompression，\"Isuggested，cautiously。
\"Ihatecuttingmythingsdown。Idon’tthinkyoucouldalterawordherewithoutspoilingthesense。ItreadsbetteraloudthanwhenIwaswritingit。\"
\"Charlie，you’resufferingfromanalarmingdiseaseafflictinganumerousclass。Putthethingby，andtackleitagaininaweek。\"
\"Iwanttodoitatonce。Whatdoyouthinkofit？\"
\"HowcanIjudgefromahalf-writtentale？Tellmethestoryasitliesinyourhead。\"
Charlietold，andinthetellingtherewaseverythingthathisignorancehadsocarefullypreventedfromescapingintothewrittenword。Ilookedathim，andwonderingwhetheritwerepossible，thathedidnotknowtheoriginality，thepowerofthenotionthathadcomeinhisway？ItwasdistinctlyaNotionamongnotions。Menhadbeenpuffedupwithpridebynotionsnotatitheasexcellentandpracticable。ButCharliebabbledonserenely，interruptingthecurrentofpurefancywithsamplesofhorriblesentencesthathepurposedtouse。Iheardhimouttotheend。Itwouldbefollytoallowhisideatoremaininhisowninepthands，whenIcoulddosomuchwithit。Notallthatcouldbedoneindeed;but，ohsomuch！
\"Whatdoyouthink？\"hesaid，atlast。\"IfancyIshallcallit’TheStoryofaShip。’\"
\"Ithinktheidea’sprettygood;butyouwon’theabletohandleitforeversolong。NowI\"-\"Woulditbeofanyusetoyou？
Wouldyoucaretotakeit？Ishouldbeproud，\"saidCharlie，promptly。
Therearefewthingssweeterinthisworldthantheguileless，hot-headed，intemperate，openadmirationofajunior。Evenawomaninherblindestdevotiondoesnotfallintothegaitofthemansheadores，tiltherbonnettotheangleatwhichhewearshishat，orinterlardherspeechwithhispetoaths。AndCharliedidallthesethings。StillitwasnecessarytosalvemyconsciencebeforeI
possessedmyselfofCharlie’sthoughts。
\"Let’smakeabargain。I’llgiveyouafiverforthenotion，\"Isaid。
Charliebecameabank-clerkatonce。