第1章

TranslatedbyA。R。Waller,M。A。

AmphitryonwasplayedforthefirsttimeinParis,attheTheatreduPalais-Royal,January13,1668。Itwassuccessfullyreceived,holdingtheboardsuntilthe18thofMarch,whenEasterintervened。

Afterthere-openingofthetheatre,itwasplayedhalfadozentimesmorethesameyear,andcontinuedtoplease。

Thefirsteditionwaspublishedin1668。

Note:ItisperhapshardlynecessarytoreferthereadertoAmphitryon,byPlautus,thecomedyuponwhichMoliere’scharmingplaywas,inthemain,based。Therenderingattemptedherecangivebutafaintreflectionoftheoriginal,forhardlyanycomedyofMoliere’slosesmoreintheprocessoftranslation。

AmphitryonAplaybyMolierePROLOGUE

MERCURY,onacloud;NIGHT,inachariotdrawnbytwohorsesMERC。Wait!GentleNight;deigntostayawhile:Somehelpisneededfromyou。IhavetwowordstosaytoyoufromJupiter。

NIGHT。Ah!Ah!Itisyou,SeigneurMercury!Whowouldhavethoughtofyouhere,inthatposition?

MERC。Well,feelingtired,andnotbeingabletofulfilthedifferentdutiesJupiterorderedme,Iquietlysatdownonthiscloudtoawaityourcoming。

NIGHT。Youjest,Mercury:youdonotmeanit;doesitbecometheGodstosaytheyaretired?

MERC。AretheGodsmadeofiron?

NIGHT。No;butonemustalwayshaveacarefordivinedecorum。Therearecertainwordstheuseofwhichdebasesthissublimequality,anditismeetthattheseshouldbelefttomen,becausetheyareunworthy。

MERC。Youspeakatyourease,fairlady,fromaswiftlyrollingchariot,inwhich,likeadamefreefromcare;youaredrawnbytwofinehorseswhereveryoulike。Butitisnotthesamewithme。SuchismymiserablefatethatIcannotbearthepoetstoogreatagrudgefortheirgrossimpertinenceinhaving,byanunjustlaw,whichtheywishtoretaininforce,givenaseparateconveyancetoeachGod,forhisownuse,andleftmetogoonfoot:me,likeavillagemessenger,though,aseveryoneknows,IamthefamousmessengerofthesovereignoftheGods,ontheearthandintheheavens。Withoutanyexaggeration,Ineedmorethananyoneelsethemeansofbeingcarriedabout,becauseofallthedutiesheputsuponme。

NIGHT。Whatcanonedo?Thepoetsdowhatpleasesthem。Itisnottheonlystupiditywehavedetectedinthesegentlemen。Butsurelyyourirritationagainstthemiswrong,forthewingsatyourfeetareafriendlygiftoftheirs。

MERC。Yes;butdoesgoingmorequicklytireoneselfless?

NIGHT。Letusleavethematter,SeigneurMercury,andlearnwhatiswanted。

MERC。Jupiter,asIhavetoldyou,wishesthedarkaidofyourcloakforacertaingallantadventure,whichanewloveaffairhasfurnishedhim。Hiscustomisnotnewtoyou,Ibelieve:oftendoesheneglecttheheavensfortheearth;andyouarenotignorantthatthismasteroftheGodslovestotakeuponhimselftheguiseofmantowooearthlybeauties。Heknowsahundredingenioustrickstoentrapthemostobdurate。HehasfeltthedartsofAlcmene’seyes;

and,whilstAmphitryon,herhusband,commandstheThebantroopsontheplainsofBoeotia,Jupiterhastakenhisform,andassuagedhispains,inthepossessionofthesweetestofpleasures。Theconditionofthecoupleispropitioustohisdesire:Hymenjoinedthemonlyafewdaysago;andtheyoungwarmthoftheirtenderlovesuggestedtoJupitertohaverecoursetothisfineartifice。Hisstratagemprovedsuccessfulinthiscase;butwithmanyacherishedobjectasimilardisguisewouldnotbeofanyuse:itisnotalwaysasuremeansofpleasing,toadopttheform,ofahusband。

NIGHT。IadmireJupiter,andIcannotimagineallthedisguiseswhichcomeintohishead。

MERC。Bythesemeanshewishestotasteallsortsofconditions:

thatistheactofaGodwhoisnotafool。Howevermortalsmayregardhim,Ishouldthinkverymeanlyofhimifheneverquittedhisredoubtablemien,andwerealwaysintheheavens,standinguponhisdignity。Inmyopinion,thereisnothingmoreidioticthanalwaystobeimprisonedinone’sgrandeur;aboveall,aloftyrankbecomesveryinconvenientinthetransportsofamorousardour。

Jupiter,nodoubt,isaconnoisseurinpleasure,andheknowshowtodescendfromtheheightofhissupremeglory。Sothathecanenterintoeverythingthatpleaseshim,heentirelycastsasidehimself,andthenitisnolongerJupiterwhoappears。

NIGHT。Icouldoverlookseeinghimstepdownfromhissublimestagetothatofmen,sincehewishestoenterintoallthetransportswhichtheirnaturescansupply,andjoinintheirjests,if,inthechangeswhichtakehisfancy,hewouldconfinehimselftonature。

ButIdonotthinkitfittingtoseeJupiterasabull,aserpent,aswan,orwhatnot,anditdoesnotastonishmethatitissometimestalkedabout。

MERC。Letallthebusybodiestalk;suchchangeshavetheirowncharmsandsurpasspeople’sunderstanding。TheGodknowswhathedoesinthisaffairasineverythingelse:inthemovementsoftheirtenderpassions,animalsarenotsoloutishasonemightthink。

NIGHT。Letusreturntotheladywhosefavoursheenjoys。If,byhisstratagem,hispursuitissuccessful,whatmorecanhewish?WhatcanIdo?

MERC。Hewishesthatyouwouldslackenthepaceofyourhorses,tosatisfythepassionofhisamorousheart,andsomakeofadelightfulnightthelongestnightofall;thatyouwouldgivehimmoretimeforhistransports,andretardthebirthofdaysinceitwillhastenthereturnofhimwhoseplaceheoccupies。

NIGHT。ReallytheemploymentwhichthegreatJupiterreservesformeisaworthyone!Theserviceherequiresofmepassesunderaveryrespectablename。

MERC。Youaresomewhatold-fashionedforayounggoddess!Suchanemploymentisnotdebasingexceptamongpeopleofmeanbirth。Whenonehasthehappinessofbelongingtoloftyrank,whateveronedoesisalwaysrightandgood;thingschangetheirnamestosuitwhatonemaybe。

NIGHT。YouknowmoreaboutsuchmattersthanIdo;Iwilltrusttoyourenlightenedviewsandacceptthisemployment。

MERC。Come,come,now,MadamNight,alittlegently,Ibeseechyou。

Theworldgivesyouthereputationofnotbeingsoscrupulous。Inahundreddifferentclimesyouaremadetheconfidantofmanygallantadventures;and,ifImayspeakcandidly,wedonotoweeachotheranything。

NIGHT。Letusceasethesereproachesandremainwhatweare。Letusnotgivemencausetolaughbytellingeachotherthetruth。

MERC。Adieu。Iamgoingtheretoplaymypartinthisbusiness,promptlytostripmyselfoftheformofMercuryandtotakeinitsplacethefigureofAmphitryon’svalet。

NIGHT。Iamgoingtokeepstationinthishemispherewithmysombretrain。

MERC。Goodday,Night。

NIGHT。Adieu,Mercury。

(Mercurydescendsfromhiscloudtotheearth,andNightgoesawayinherchariot。)

ENDOFTHEPROLOGUE。

ACTI

SCENEI

SOSIE

Whogoesthere?Eh?Myfeargrowswitheverystep。Gentlemen,Iamafriendtoalltheworld。Ah!Whatunparalleledboldness,tobeoutatthishour!Mymasteriscrownedwithfame,butwhatavillainoustrickheplaysmehere!What?Ifhehadanyloveforhisneighbour,wouldhehavesentmeoutinsuchablacknight?Couldhenotjustaswellhavewaiteduntilitwasdaybeforesendingmetoannouncehisreturnandthedetailsofhisvictory?Towhatservitudearethydayssubjected,Sosie!Ourlotisfarmorehardwiththegreatthanwiththemean。Theyinsistthateverythinginnatureshouldbecompelledtosacrificeitselfforthem。Nightandday,hail,wind,peril,heat,cold,assoonastheyspeakwemustfly。Twentyyearsofassiduousservicedonotgainusanyconsiderationfromthem。Theleastlittlewhimdrawsdownuponustheiranger。

Notwithstandingthis,ourinfatuatedheartsclingtotheemptyhonourofremainingnearthem,contentedwiththefalseidea,whicheveryoneholds,thatwearehappy。Invainreasonbidsusretire;

invainourspitesometimesconsentstothis;tobenearthemistoopowerfulaninfluenceonourzeal,andtheleastfavourofacaressingglanceimmediatelyre-engagesus。Butatlast,Iseeourhousethroughthedarkness,andmyfearvanishes。

Imustpreparesomethought-outspeechformymission。ImustgiveAlcmenewarlikedescriptionofthefiercecombatwhichputourenemiestoflight。ButhowthedeucecanIdothissinceIwasnotthere?Nevermind;letustalkofcutandthrust,asthoughIwereaneyewitness。Howmanypeopledescribebattlesfromwhichtheyremainedfaraway!Inordertoactmypartwithoutdiscredit,Iwillrehearseitalittle。

ThisisthechamberintowhichIamusheredasthemessenger:thislanternisAlcmene,towhomIhavetospeak。(Hesetshislanternonthegroundandsalutesit。)’Madam,Amphitryon,mymasterandyourhusband,……(Good!thatisafinebeginning!)whosemindiseverfullofyourcharms,haschosenmefromamongstalltobringtidingsofthesuccessofhisarms,andofhisdesiretobenearyou。’’Ah!

Really,mypoorSosie,Iamdelightedtoseeyoubackagain。’

’Madam,youdometoomuchhonour:mylotisanenviableone。’(Wellanswered!)

’HowisAmphitryon?’’Madam,asamanofcourageshouldbe,whengloryleadshim。’(Verygood!Acapitalidea!)’Whenwillmyheartbecharmedandsatisfiedbyhisreturn?’’Assoonaspossible,assuredly,Madam,buthisheartdesiresaspeedierreturn。’(Ah!)

’Inwhatstatehasthewarlefthim?Whatsayshe?Whatdoeshe?

Easemyanxiety。’Hesayslessthanhedoes,Madam,andmakeshisenemiestremble。’(Plague!wheredoIgetallthesefinespeeches?)

’Whataretherebelsdoing?Tellme,whatistheircondition?’’Theycouldnotresistourefforts,Madam;wecutthemtopieces,puttheirchief,Pterelas,todeath,tookTelebosbyassault;andnowtheportringswithourprowess。’’Ah!Whatasuccess!YeGods!Whocouldeverhaveimaginedit?Tellme,Sosie,howithappened。’’I

will,gladly,Madam;and,withoutboasting,Icantellyou,withthegreatestaccuracy,thedetailsofthisvictory。Imagine,therefore,Madam,thatTelebosisonthisside。(Hemarkstheplacesonhishand,orontheground。)ItisacityreallyalmostaslargeasThebes。Theriveris,say,there。Here,ourpeopleencamped;andthatspacewasoccupiedbyourenemies。Onaheight,somewhereabouthere,wastheirinfantry;and,lowerdown,ontherightside,wastheircavalry。AfterhavingaddressedprayerstotheGods,andissuedalltheorders,thesignalwasgiven。Theenemy,thinkingtoturnourflank,dividedtheirhorsesoldiersintothreeplatoons;

butwesoonchilledtheirwarmth,andyoushallseehow。Hereisourvanguardreadytobeginwork;there,werethearchersofourking,Creon;andhere,themainarmy(someonemakesaslightnoise),whichwasjustgoingto……Stay;themainbodyisafraid’;I

thinkIhearsomenoise。

SCENEII

MERCURY,SOSIE

MERC。(UndertheformofSosie。)Underthismaskwhichresembleshim,Iwilldriveawaythebabblerfromhere。Hisunfortunatearrivalmaydisturbthepleasuresourloversaretastingtogether。

SOS。Myheartrevivesalittle;perhapsitwasnothing。Lestanythinguntowardshouldhappen,however,Iwillgointofinishtheconversation。

MERC。IshallpreventyourdoingthatunlessyouarestrongerthanMercury。

SOS。Thisnightseemstomeunusuallylong。BythetimeIhavebeenontheway,eithermymasterhastakeneveningformorning,orlovelyPhoebusslumberstoolonginbedthroughhavingtakentoomuchwine。

MERC。WithwhatirreverencethislubberspeaksoftheGods!Myarmshallsoonchastisethisinsolence;Ishallhaveafinegamewithhim,stealinghisnameaswellashislikeness。

SOS。Ah!uponmyword,Iwasright:Iamdonefor,miserablecreaturethatIam!Iseeamanbeforeourhousewhosemienbodesmenogood。Iwillsingalittletoshowsomesemblanceofassurance。

(Hesings;and,whenMercuryspeaks,hisvoiceweakens,littlebylittle。)

MERC。Whatrascalisthis,whotakestheunwarrantablelicenceofsinginganddeafeningmelikethis?Doeshewishmetocurryhiscoatforhim?

SOS。Assuredlythatfellowdoesnotlikemusic。

MERC。Formorethanaweek,IhavenotfoundanyonewhosebonesI

couldbreak;myarmwillloseitsstrengthinthisidleness。Imustlookoutforsomeone’sbacktogetmywindagain。

SOS。Whatthedeuceofafellowisthis?Myheartthrillswithclutchingfear。ButwhyshouldItremblethus?PerhapstherogueisasmuchafraidasIam,andtalksinthiswaytohidehisfearfrommeunderafeignedaudacity。Yes,yes,Iwillnotallowhimtothinkmeagoose。IfIamnotbold,Iwilltrytoappearso。Letmeseekcouragebyreason;heisalone,evenasIam;Iamstrong,Ihaveagoodmaster,andthereisourhouse。

MERC。Whogoesthere?

SOS。I。

MERC。Who,I?

SOS。I。Courage,Sosie!

MERC。Tellme,whatisyourcondition?

SOS。Tobeaman,andtospeak。

MERC。Areyouamaster,oraservant?

SOS。Asfancytakesme。

MERC。Whereareyougoing?

SOS。WhereIintendtogo。

MERC。Ah!Thisannoysme。

SOS。Iamravishedtohearit。

MERC。Byhookorbycrook,Imustdefinitelyknowallaboutyou,youwretch;whatyoudo,whenceyoucomebeforethedaybreaks,whereyouaregoing,andwhoyoumaybe。

SOS。Idogoodandillbyturns;Icomefromthere;Igothere;I

belongtomymaster。

MERC。Youshowwit,andIseeyouthinktoplaythemanofimportanceformyedification。Ifeelinclinedtomakeyouracquaintancebyslappingyourface。

SOS。Mine?

MERC。Yours;andthereyougetit,sharp。(Mercurygiveshimaslap。)

SOS。Ah!Ah!Thisisafinegame!

MERC。No;itisonlyalaughingmatter,areplytoyourquips。

SOS。Goodheavens!Friend,howyouswingoutyourarmwithoutanyonesayinganythingtoyou。

MERC。Thesearemylightestclouts,littleordinarysmacks。

SOS。IfIwereashastyasyou,weshouldhaveafineado。

MERC。Allthisisnothingasyet:itismerelytofilluptime;weshallsoonseesomethingelse;butletuscontinueourconversation。

SOS。Igiveupthegame。(Heturnstogoaway。)

MERC。Whereareyougoing?

SOS。Whatdoesitmattertoyou?

MERC。Iwanttoknowwhereyouaregoing。

SOS。Iamgoingtoopenthatdoor。Whydoyoudetainme?

MERC。Ifyoudaretogonearit,Ishallraindownastormofblowsonyou。

SOS。What?Youwishtohindermefromenteringourownhousebythreats?

MERC。Whatdoyousay,yourhouse?

SOS。Yes,ourhouse。

MERC。O,thescoundrel!Youspeakofthathouse?

SOS。Certainly。IsnotAmphitryonthemasterofit?

MERC。Well!Whatdoesthatprove?

SOS。Iamhisvalet。

MERC。You?

SOS。I。

MERC。Hisvalet?

SOS。Unquestionably。

MERC。ValetofAmphitryon?

SOS。OfAmphitryonhimself。

MERC。Yournameis?

SOS。Sosie。

MERC。Eh?What?

SOS。Sosie。

MERC。Listen:doyourealisethatmyfistcanknockyouspinning?

SOS。Why?Whatfuryhasseizedyounow?

MERC。Tellme,whomadeyousorashastotakethenameofSosie?

SOS。Idonottakeit;Ihavealwaysborneit。

MERC。Owhatamonstrouslie!Whatconfoundedimpudence!YoudaretomaintainthatSosieisyourname?

SOS。Certainly;Imaintainit,forthegoodreasonthattheGodshavesoordereditbytheirsupremepower。Itisnotinmypowertosayno,andtobeanyoneelsethanmyself。

(Mercurybeatshim。)MERC。Athousandstripesoughttobetherewardofsuchaudacity。

SOS。Justice,citizens!Help!Ibeseechyou。

MERC。So,yougallows-bird,youyellout?

SOS。Youbeatmedownwithathousandblows,andyetdonotwishmetocryout?

MERC。Itisthusthatmyarm……

SOS。Theactionisunworthy。Yougloatovertheadvantagewhichmywantofcouragegivesyouoverme;thatisnotfairtreatment。Itismerebullyingtowishtoprofitbythepoltrooneryofthosewhomonemakestofeeltheweightofone’sarm。Tothrashamanwhodoesnotretaliateisnottheactofageneroussoul;andtoshowcourageagainstmenwhohavenonemeritscondemnation。

MERC。Well!AreyoustillSosie?Whatsayyou?

SOS。Yourblowshavenotmadeanymetamorphosisinme;allthechangethereisisthatinthematterIamSosiethrashed。

MERC。Still?Ahundredfreshblowsforthisfreshimpudence。

SOS。Havemercy,atrucetoyourblows。

MERC。Thenatrucetoyourinsolence。

SOS。Anythingthatpleasesyou;Iwillkeepsilence。Thedisputebetweenusistoounequal。

MERC。AreyoustillSosie?Say,villain!

SOS。Alas!Iamwhatyouwish;disposeofmylotexactlyasyouplease:yourarm’hasmadeyouthemasterofit。

MERC。IthinkyousaidyournamewasSosie?

SOS。True,untilnowIthoughtthematterwasclear;butyourrodhasmademeseethatIwasmistakeninthisaffair。

MERC。IamSosie:allThebesavowsit。Amphitryonhasneverhadotherthanme。

SOS。You,Sosie?

MERC。Yes,Sosie;andifanyonetrifleswithme,hemusttakecareofhimself。

SOS。Heavens!MustIthusrenouncemyself,andseemynamestolenbyanimpostor。HowluckyIamapoltroon!Or,bythedeath……!

MERC。Whatareyoumumblingbetweenyourteeth?

SOS。Nothing。But,inthenameoftheGods,givemeleavetospeakonemomentwithyou。

MERC。Speak。

SOS。Butpromiseme,Ibeseechyou,thatthereshallnotbeanymorestrokes。Letussignatruce。

MERC。Letthatpass;goon,Igrantyouthispoint。

SOS。Tellme,whoputthisfancyintoyourhead?Whatbenefitwillitbetoyoutotakemyname?Inshort,wereyouademon,couldyouhindermefrombeingmyself,frombeingSosie?

MERC。Whatisthis,youdare……

SOS。Ah!Gently:thereisatrucetoblows。

MERC。What!Gallows-bird,impostor,scoundrel……

SOS。Asforabuse,givemeasmuchasyouplease;itmakesbutaslightwoundanddoesnotbotherme。

MERC。YousayyouareSosie?

SOS。Yes。Someridiculoustale……

MERC。So,Ishallbreakourtruce,andtakebackmyword。

SOS。Ican’thelpit。Icannotannihilatemyselfforyou,andenduresoimprobableatale。IsitinyourpowertobewhatIam?CanI

ceasetobemyself?Didanyoneeverhearofsuchathing?Andcanyougivethelietoahundredclearindications?DoIdream?DoI

sleep?Ismymindtroubledbypowerfultransports?DoInotfeelI

amawake?AmInotinmyrightsenses?Hasnotmymaster,Amphitryon,commandedmetocomeheretoAlcmenehiswife?AmInot,incommendinghispassiontoher,togiveheranaccountofhisdeedsagainstourenemies?HaveInotjustcomefromtheharbour?DoInotholdalanterninmyhand?HaveInotfoundyouinfrontofourhouse?DidInotspeaktoyouinaperfectlyfriendlymanner?Doyounotmakeuseofmypoltroonerytohindermefromenteringourhouse?Haveyounotventedyourrageuponmyback?Haveyounotshoweredblowsonme?Ah!Allthisisbuttootrue:wouldtoHeavenitwerelessreal!Ceasethereforetojeeratawretch’slot,andleavemetoacquitmyselfwheremydutycallsme。

MERC。Stop,ortheshorteststepbringsdownuponyourbackclatteringevidenceofmyjustanger。Allyouhavejustsaidismine,excepttheblows。ItisI,whomAmphitryonsenttoAlcmene;

whohasjustarrivedfromthePersianport;I,whohavecometoannouncethevalourofhisarm,whichhasgainedusagloriousvictory,andslainthechiefofourenemies。Inshort,IamundoubtedlySosie,sonofDave,anhonestshepherd;brotherofArpage,whodiedinaforeignland;husbandofCleanthistheprude,whosetemperdrivesmewild;I,whoreceivedathousandcutsfromawhipatThebes,withouteversayinganythingaboutit;andwhowasoncepubliclybrandedonthebackforbeingtooworthyaman。

SOS。Heisright。IfhewerenotSosie,hecouldnotknowallhesays;allthisissoastoundingthatevenIbegintobelievehimalittle。Infact,nowIlookathim,Iseehehasmyfigure,looks,andmanners。Iwiltaskhimsomequestion,inordertoclearupthismystery。WhatdidAmphitryonobtainashisshareofalltheplundertakenfromourenemies?

MERC。Fivefinelargediamonds,beautifullysetinacluster,whichtheirchiefworeasararepieceofhandicraft。

SOS。Forwhomdoesheintendsorichapresent?

MERC。Forhiswife;heintendshertowearit。

SOS。Wherehaveyouputit,untilyoumeether?

MERC。Inacasketsealedwiththearmsofmymaster。

SOS。Hedoesnottellasinglelieatanyturn:Ibegintodoubtmyselfinearnest。HehasalreadycowedmeintobelievinghimtobeSosie;andhemightevenreasonmeintothinkinghimso。Yet,whenI

touchmyself,andrecollect,itseemstomeIammyself。WherecanI

findsomelightthatwillclearlymakemywayplain?WhatIhavedonealone,andwhatnoonehasseen,cannotbeknowntoanyoneelse:that,atleast,belongstome。Iwillastonishhimbythisquestion:itwillconfoundhim,andweshallsee。Whentheywereatclosequarters,whatwereyoudoinginourtents,whitheryourantohideyourselfaway?

MERC。OffahamSOS。Thatisit!

MERC。WhichIunearthed,Isooncuttwosucculentslices:theysuitedmenicely。Iaddedtothemawinewhichwasusuallykeptdark,and,gloatedoverthesightofitbeforeItastedit。SoI

tookheartforourfighters。

SOS。Thisunparalleledproofendsmatterswellinhisfavour;and,unlesshewereinthebottle,thereisnothingtobesaid。Fromtheproofsyoushowme,IcannotdenythatyouareSosie:Iadmitit。

But,ifyouarehe,tellmewhomyouwishmetobe;forImustbesomeone。

MERC。WhenIshallnolongerbeSosie,youmaybehe,Iconsenttothat;butIpromiseyouitshallbethedeathofyouifyoutakeupsuchafancywhileIamhe。

SOS。Allthisconfusionturnsmeinsideout,forreasonisagainstwhatIsee。ButImustendthisbysomemeans;andtheshortestwayformeistogointhere。

MERC。Oh!Yougallows-bird,youwanttotastethestick。

SOS。Whatisthematter?GreatGods!Hemakestheblowsringagain;

mybackwillacheforamonth。Iwillleavethisdevilofafellow,andreturntotheharbour。OjustHeavens,whatafineambassadorIhavebeen!

MERC。Atlast,Ihavemadehimfly;thistreatmenthaspaidhimoutformanyofhisdeeds。ButhereisJupiter,gallantlyescortinghisloverAlcmene。

SCENEIII

JUPITER,ALCMENE,CLEANTHIS,MERCURY

JUP。MydearAlcmene,forbidthetorch-bearerstocomenear。Theygivemedelightinenablingmetoseeyou;buttheymightbetraymybeinghere,andthiswerebestunrevealed。Restrainedbyalltheheavycareswithwhichthegloryofourarmsheldmebound,myhearthasstolenfromthedutiesofmypostthemomentsithasjustgiventoyourcharms。Thistheft,whichIhaveconsecratedtoyourbeauty,mightbeblamedbythepublicvoice;andtheonlywitnessIwant,isshewhocanthankmeforit。

ALC。Itakegreatinterest,Amphitryon,intheglorywhichyourillustriousexploitshavecastuponyou;thefameofyourvictorymovesmyhearttoitsdepths。ButwhenIseethatthisdisastroushonourkeepsmyloverawayfromme,suchismyheart’sfeelingthatIcannotforbeartothinkillofit,andtoregretthehighorderwhichmakesyougeneraloftheThebans。Itissweetafteravictorytoseetheglorytowhichone’sloverhasbeenraised;but,fromamongtheperilsattachedtothisglory,adeadlyblow,alas!maysoonfall。Withhowmanyfearsisone’sheartwoundedatthereportoftheleastskirmish!Inthehorrorofsuchathought,isthereanythingthatcanconsoleforthethreatenedstroke?Andwithwhateverlaurelsthevictormaybecrowned,whatevershareonemayhaveinthatsupremehonour,isitworthwhatitcostsatenderheart,whichtrembleseverymomentforitslover?

JUP。Idonotseeanythinginyoubutwhatinflamesmypassion;

everythingshowsmeadeeplyenamouredheart;and,Iconfess,itisagreatdelighttofindsomuchloveinabelovedobject。But,ifI

maydaresayso,onescrupleinthetendersentimentswhichyoushowmecausesmeanxiety;and,inordertoenjoyyouthemore,dearAlcmene,myheartwouldratherseeloveonly,andnotduty,inthefavourswhichIreceivefromyou;maytheyarisesolelyfromaffection,andhaverespecttomypersononly;letnotmyconditionasyourhusbandbethereasonforthem。

ALC。Yetitisinthatnamethattheardourwhichburnsmeholdstherighttoshowitself:Idonotunderstandthisnewscruplewhichtroublesyourheart。

JUP。TheloveandtendernesswhichIhaveforyoufarexceedsahusband’s;inthesesweetmoments,youdonotrealiseitsdelicacy;

Youdonotunderstandthataheartdeeplyinlovestudiouslyattachesitselftoahundredlittletrifles,andisrestlessoverthemannerofbeinghappy。Inme,fairandcharmingAlcmene,youseealoverandahusband;but,tospeakfrankly,itistheloverthatappealstome;whennearyou,Ifeelthehusbandrestrainshim。Thislover,whoissupremelyjealousofyourlove,wishesyourhearttoabandonitselfsolelytohim:hispassiondoesnotwishanythingthehusbandgiveshim。Hewishestoobtainthewarmthofyourlovefromthefountain-head,andnottooweanythingtothebondsofwedlock,ortoadutywhichpallsandmakestheheartsad,forbythesethesweetnessofthemostcherishedfavoursisdailypoisoned。Thisidea,inshort,tosseshimtoandfro,andhewishes,inordertosatisfyhisscruples,thatyouwoulddifferentiatewheretheoccasionoffendshim,thehusbandtobeonlyforyourvirtue,andthelovertohavethewholeaffectionandtendernessofaheartknowntobefullofkindness。

ALC。Intruth,Amphitryon,youmustbejesting,totalkthus;I

shouldbeafraidanyonewhoheardyouwouldthinkyouwerenotsane。

JUP。Thereismorereasoninthisdiscourse,Alcmene,thanyouthink。Butalongerstayherewouldrendermeguilty,andtimepressesformyreturntoport。Adieu。Thesterncallofdutytearsmeawayfromyouforatime;but,lovelyAlcmene,Ibeseechyouatleasttothinkoftheloverwhenyouseethehusband。

ALC。IdonotseparatewhattheGodsunite:bothhusbandandloverareveryprecioustome。

CLE。OHeaven!Howdelightfularethecaressesofanardentlycherishedhusband!Howfarmypoorhusbandisfromallthistenderness!

MERC。ImusttellNightshehasbuttofurlallhersails;theSunmaynowarisefromhisbedandputoutthestars。

SCENEIV

CLEANTHIS,MERCURY(Mercuryturnstogoaway)

CLE。So?Isitthusyouquitme?

MERC。Whatwouldyouhave?Doyouwishmenottodomyduty,andfollowinAmphitryon’sfootsteps?

CLE。Toseparatefrommesorudelyasthis,youvillain!

MERC。Itisafinesubjecttomakeafussabout!Wehavestillplentyoftimetolivetogether!

CLE。Buttogoinsuchachurlishmanner,withoutsayingasinglekindwordtocheerme!

MERC。WherethedeuceshallIdigupsillycompliments?Fifteenyearsofmarriedlifeexhaustnonsense;wesaidallwehadtosaytoeachotheralongtimeago。

CLE。LookatAmphitryon,yourascal;seehowhisardourburnsforAlcmene;andthenblushforthelittlepassionthatyoushowyourwife。

MERC。But,graciousme!Cleanthis,theyarestilllovers。Therecomesacertainagewhenallthispassesaway;whatsuitsthemwellintheseearlydayswouldlookridiculousinus,oldmarriedpeople。

Itwouldbeitfinesighttoseeusembracingeachother,andsayingsweetnothings!

CLE。Oh!Youperfidiouswretch,mustIgiveuphopethataheartsighsforme?

MERC。No,Ishouldbesorrytosaythat;butIhavetoolongabeardtodaretosigh;Ishouldmakeyoudieoflaughter。

CLE。Youbrute,doyoudeservethegoodfortuneofhavingavirtuouswomanforyourwife?

MERC。GoodHeavens!Youarebuttoovirtuous;thisfinevirtueisnotworthanythingtome。Donotbequitesohonestawoman,anddon’tbothermesomuch。

CLE。What?Doyoublamemeforbeingtoohonest?

MERC。Awoman’sgentlenessiswhatcharmsmemost:yourvirtuemakesaclatterthatneverceasestodeafenme。

CLE。Youcareforheartsfulloffalsetenderness,forthosewomenwiththelaudableandfinetalentofknowinghowtosmothertheirhusbandswithcaressesinordertomakethemobliviousoftheexistenceoflovers。

MERC。Well!ShallItellyouwhatIthink?Animaginaryevilconcernsfoolsonly;mydeviceshouldbe:’Lesshonourandmorepeace。’

CLE。Wouldyou,withoutanyrepugnance,suffermeopenlytoloveagallant?

MERC。Yes,ifIwerenolongerworriedbyyourtongue,andifitchangedyourtemperandyourgoings-on。Ipreferaconvenientvice,toafatiguingvirtue。Adieu,Cleanthis,mydearsoul;ImustfollowAmphitryon。(Hegoesaway。)

CLEWhyhasnotmyheartsufficientresolutiontopunishthisinfamousscoundrel?Ah,howitmaddensme,now,thatIamanhonestwoman!

ENDOFTHEFIRSTACT

ACTIlSCENEI

AMPHITRYON,SOSIE

AMPH。Comehere,yourascal,comehere。Doyouknow,MasterVillain,thatyourtalkissufficienttocausemetoknockyoudown,andthatmywrathwaitsonlyforasticktothrashyouasIintend?

SOS。Ifyoutakeitinthatway,Monsieur,Ihavenothingmoretosay;youwillbealwaysintheright。

AMPH。So?Youscoundrel,youwishtoimposeuponmeastruthstaleswhichIknowtobeextravagantlyfar-fetched?

SOS。No;Iamtheservant,andyouarethemaster;itshallnotbeotherwisethanyouwishit,Monsieur。

AMPH。Come,Iwillchokedowntheangerthatinflamesme,andhearallyouhavetosayaboutyourmission。ImustunravelthisconfusionbeforeIseemywife。Collectyoursenses,thinkwelloverwhatyousay,andanswereachquestionwordforword。

SOS。But,lestImakeamistake,tellme,Ibeseechyou,beforehand,inwhatwayitwouldpleaseyoutohavethisaffairhealed。ShallI

speak,Monsieur,accordingtomyconscience,orasusualwhennearthegreat?ShallItellthetruthoruseacertaincomplaisance?

AMPH。No;Ionlywishyoutogivemeaperfectlyunvarnishedaccount。

SOS。Good。Thatisenough;leaveittome;youhave,buttointerrogateme。

AMPH。UpontheorderwhichIlatelygaveyou……

SOS。Isetforthunderskiesveiledinblackcrape,swearingbitterlyagainstyouforthiswretchedmartyrdom,andcursingtwentytimestheorderofwhichyouspeak。

AMPH。Whatdoyoumean,youvillain?

SOS。Youhaveonlytospeak,Monsieur,andIshalllie,ifyoudesireit。

AMPH。Thatishowavaletshowshiszealforus。Nevermind。Whathappenedtoyouontheway?

SOS。IhadamortalfrightattheleastthingImet。

AMPH。Poltroon!

SOS。Naturehashercapricesinformingus;shegivesusdifferinginclinations;somefindathousanddelightsinexposingthemselves;

Ifindthemintakingcareofmyself。

AMPH。Whenyouarrivedatthehouse……?

SOS。WhenIreachedthedoor,Iwishedtorehearsetomyselfforashorttime,inwhattoneandinwhatmannerIshouldgiveagloriousaccountofthebattle。

AMPH。Whatfollowed?

SOS。Someonecametoannoyandtroubleme。

AMPH。Whowashe?

SOS。Sosie;anotherI,jealousofyourorders,whomyousenttoAlcmenefromtheport,andwhohasasfullknowledgeofoursecretsasIwhoamspeakingtoyou。

AMPH。Whatnonsense!

SOS。No,Monsieur,itisthesimpletruth:thisIwasatyourhousesoonerthanI;and,Isweartoyou,IwastherebeforeIhadarrived。

AMPH。Pray,wheredoesallthiscursednonsensecomefrom?Isitadream?Isitdrunkenness?Mind-wandering?Orasorryjoke?

SOS。No,itisthethingasitis,andbynomeansanidletale。I

amamanofhonour,Igiveyoumyword,andyoumustpleasebelieveit。Itellyou,believingIwasbutoneSosie,Ifoundmyselftwoatyourhouse;andofthesetwoI’s,piquedwithjealousy,oneisatthehouse,andtheotheriswithyou;theIwhoishere,tiredout,foundtheotherIfresh,jollyandactive,havingnootheranxietythantofightandbreakbones。

AMPH。IconfessImustbeofaveryplacidtemper,verypeaceable,verygentle,topermitavalettoentertainmewithsuchnonsense!

SOS。Ifyoubecomeangry,nomoreconferencebetweenus:youknowallwillbeoveratonce。

AMPH。No;Iwilllistentoyouwithoutbeingcarriedaway;I

promisedit。Buttellmeingoodearnest,isthereanyshadowoflikelihoodinthisnewmysterywhichyouhavejusttoldme?

SOS。No;youareright,themattermustappeartoeveryonepastcredit。Itisafactpastunderstanding,anextravagant,ridiculous,far-fetchedtale:itshockscommonsense;butitisnonethelessafact。

AMPH。Howcananyonebelieveit,unlesshehastakenleaveofhissenses?

SOS。Imyselfdidnotbelieveitwithoutextremedifficulty:I

thoughtIwaslosingmysenseswhenIsawmyselftwo,and,foralongtime,Itreatedmyotherselfasanimpostor:buthecompelledmeintheendtorecognisemyself;IsawitwasI,withoutanytrickery;fromheadtofootheislikeme-handsome,anobleair,wellbuilt,charmingmanners;infact,twopeasdonotresembleeachothermore;wereitnotthathishandsarealittletooheavy,I

shouldbeperfectlysatisfied。

AMPH。Ihadneedexhortmyselftopatience!Butdidyounotintheendgointothehouse?

SOS。Good,goin!Ah!Inwhatfashion?HaveIneverwishedtolistentoreason?DidInotforbidmyselftoenterourdoor?

AMPH。Inwhatway?

SOS。Withastick,mybackstillachesfromit。

AMPH。Youhavebeenthrashed?

SOS。Truly。

AMPH。Andbywhom?

SOS。Myself。

AMPH。Youhavethrashedyourself?

SOS。Yes,I;nottheIwhoishere,buttheIfromthehouse,whowhackssoundly。

AMPH。Heavenconfoundyoufortalkingtomelikethis!

SOS。Iamnotjoking;theIwhomIhavejustmethasgreatadvantagesovertheIwhospeakstoyou。Hehasastrongarmandgreatcourage;Ihavehadproofsofboth;thisdevilofanIhaslickedmesoundly;heisafellowwhocandowonders。

AMPH。Letus,ceasethis。Haveyouseenmywife?

SOS。No。

AMPH。Whynot?

SOS。Forasufficientlystrongreason。

AMPH。Whohinderedyou,scoundrel?Explainyourself。

SOS。MustIrepeatthesamethingtwentytimes?I,Itellyou,thisIwhoismorerobustthanI,thisIwhotookpossessionofthedoorbyforce,thisIwhomademeslopeoff,thisIwhowishestobetheonlyI,thisIwhoisjealousofmyself,thisvaliantI,whoseangermadeitselfknowntothispoltroonofanI,infact,thisIwhoisatourhouse,thisIwhohasshownhimselftobemymaster,thisI

whohasrackedmewithpain。

AMPH。Hisbrainmustbeaddledbyhavinghadtoomuchtodrinkthismorning。

SOS。MayIbehangedifIhavehadanythingtodrinkbutwater:I

takemyoathonit。

AMPH。Thenyoursensesmusthavebeenfastasleep:somesillydreamhasshownyouallthesefairytalesandconfusedmysterieswhichyouwishmetotakefortruths。

SOS。Thatisjustasfarawayfromthetruth。Ihavenotslept,andIdonotevenfeelinclinedthatway。Iamspeakingtoyouwide-

awake;Iwaswideawakethismorning,uponmylife!AndtheotherSosiewasalsowide-awake,whenhedrubbedmesowell。

AMPH。Followme;Iorderyoutobesilent。Youtiremybraintoomuch;Imustbeanout-and-outfooltohavethepatiencetolistentothenonsenseavalethastosay。

SOS。Alltalkisnonsensethatcomesfromamanwhoisunknown。Ifagreatmanweretosayit,itwouldbeexquisitelanguage。

AMPH。Letusgoinwithoutwaitinganylonger。ButherecomesAlcmeneclothedinallhercharms。Doubtlessshedoesnotexpectmesosoon,andmyarrivalwillsurpriseher。

SCENEII

ALCMENE,CLEANTHIS,AMPHITRYON,SOSIE

ALC。Come,Cleanthis,letusattendtheGods,paythemourhomageformyhusband’ssake,andthankthemfortheglorioussuccess,ofwhichThebes,byhisarm,reapstheadvantage。OyeGods!

AMPH。HeavengrantthatvictoriousAmphitryonmaybemetwithrenewedpleasurebyhiswife:thatthisdaymaybefavourabletomypassion,andrestoreyoutomewiththesameheart:mayIagainfindasmuchloveasmyheartbringstoyou!

ALC。Ah!Haveyoureturnedsosoon。

AMPH。Really,yougivemebutasorryproofofyourlove;this,’Ah!

haveyoureturnedsosoon?’isscarcelythelanguageaheartreallyinflamedwithlovewoulduseonsuchanoccasionasthis。IdaredtoflattermyselfIhadremainedawayfromyoutoolong。Theexpectationofanardentlylongedforreturnmakeseachmomentseemofgreatlength;theabsenceofwhatwelove,howeverbriefitmaybe,isalwaystoolong。

ALC。Idonotsee……

AMPH。No,Alcmene,timeismeasuredinsuchcasesbyone’simpatience;youcountthemomentsofabsenceasonewhodoesnotlove。Whenwereallylove,theslightestseparationkillsus;theonewhomwelovetoseeneverreturnstoosoon。IconfessthattheloveIbearyouhascausetocomplainofyourreception;Iexpecteddifferentexpressionsofjoyandtendernessfromyourheart。

ALC。Icannotunderstandonwhatyoufoundthewordsyouhavejustuttered;ifyoucomplainofme,uponmywordIdonotknowwhatwouldsatisfyyou。IthinkIshowedasufficientlytenderjoylastnight,atyourhappyreturn;myheartrespondedbyeverymeansyoucouldwishtotheclaimsofyouraffection。

AMPH。Inwhatway?

ALC。DidInotclearlyshowthesuddentransportsofaperfectjoy?

Couldaheart’sfeelingsbebetterexpressedatthereturnofahusbandwhoistenderlyloved?

AMPH。Whatdoyousay?

ALC。Thatevenyouraffectionshowedaninconceivablejoyatmyreception;andthat,asyouleftmeatbreakofday,Idonotseethatmysurpriseatthissuddenreturnissoguilty。

AMPH。Didyou,inadreamlastnight,Alcmene,anticipateinideatherealityofmyhastenedreturn;andhaving,perhaps,treatedmekindlyinyoursleep,doesyourheartthinkithasfullyacquitteditselfofitsdutytomypassion?

ALC。Hassomemalignantvapourinyourmind,Amphitryon,cloudedthetruthoflastnight’sreturn?DoesyourheartpretendtotakeawayfrommethecreditofallthegentleaffectionIshowedyouinmytenderwelcome?

AMPH。Thisvapouryouattributetomeseemstomesomewhatstrange。

ALC。Itisinreturnforthedreamwhichyouattributetome。

AMPH。Unlessitisbecauseofadream,whatyouhavejustnowtoldmeisentirelyinexcusable。

ALC。Unlessitisavapourwhichtroublesyourmind,whatIhaveheardfromyoucannotbejustified。

AMPH。Letusleavethisvapourforamoment,Alcmene。

ALC。Letusleavethisdreamforamoment,Amphitryon。

AMPH。Onecannotjestonthesubjectinquestionwithoutbeingcarriedtoofar。

ALC。Undoubtedly;and,asasureproofofit,Ibegintofeelsomewhatuneasy。

AMPH。IsitthusyouwishtotrytomakeamendsforthewelcomeofwhichIcomplain?

ALC。Doyoudesiretotrytoamuseyourselfbythisfeint?

AMPH。ForHeaven’s,sake,Ibeseechyou,Alcmene!Letusceasethis,andtalkseriously。

ALC。Youcarryyouramusementtoofar,Amphitryon:lettherebeanendtothisraillery。

AMPH。DoyoureallydaremaintaintomyfacethatIwasseenherebeforethishour?

ALC。Haveyoureallytheassurancetodenythatyoucamehereearlyyesterdayevening?

AMPH。I!Icameyesterday?

ALC。Certainly;andyouwentawayagainbeforedawn。

AMPH。Heavens!Waseversuchadebateasthisheardbefore?Whowouldnotbeastonishedatallthis?Sosie?

SOS。Sheneedssixgrainsofhellebore,Monsieur;herbrainisturned。

AMPH。Alcmene,inthenameofalltheGods,thisdiscoursewillhaveastrangeending!Recollectyoursensesalittlebetter,andthinkwhatyousay。

ALC。Iamindeedthinkingseriously;allinthehousesawyourarrival。Iamignorantwhatmotivemakesyouactthus;but,ifthethingwereinneedofproof,ifitweretruethatsuchathingcouldbeforgotten,fromwhom,butfromyou,couldIhaveheardthenewsofthelatestofallyourbattles,andofthefivediamondswornbyPterelas,whowasplungedintoeternalnightbythestrengthofyourarm?Couldonewishforsurertestimony?

AMPH。What?IhavealreadygivenyoutheclusterofdiamondswhichI

hadformyshare,andintendedforyou?

ALC。Assuredly。Itisnotdifficulttoconvinceyouthoroughlyonthatpoint。