AMPH。How？
ALC。Hereitis。
AMPH。Sosie！
SOS。Sheisjesting：Ihaveithere；Monsieur，thefeintisuseless。
AMPH。Thesealiswhole。
ALC。Isitavision？There。Willyouthinkthisproofstrongenough？
AMPH。AhHeaven！OjustHeaven！
ALC。Come，Amphitryon，youarejokinginactingthus：yououghttobeashamedofit。
AMPH。Breakthisseal，quickly。
SOS。（Havingopenedthecasket。）Uponmyword，thecasketisempty。
Itmusthavebeentakenoutbywitchcraft，orelseitcamebyitselfaguide，toherwhomitknewitwasintendedtoadorn。
AMPH。OGods，whosepowergovernsallthings，whatisthisadventure？WhatcanIaugurfromitthatdoesnotclutchatmyheart？
SOS。Ifshespeaksthetruth，wehavethesamelot，and，likeme，Monsieur，youaredouble。
AMPH。Besilent。
ALC。Whyareyousosurprised？Whatcausesallthisconfusion？
AMPH。OHeaven！Whatstrangeperplexity！IseeincidentswhichsurpassNature，andmyhonourfearsanadventurewhichmyminddoesnotunderstand。
ALC。Doyoustillwishtodenyyourhastyreturn，whenyouhavethissensibleproofofit？
AMPH。No；butifitbepossible，deigntotellmewhatpassedatthisreturn。
ALC。Sinceyouaskanaccountofthematter，youstillsayitwasnotyou？
AMPH。Pardonme；butIhaveacertainreasonwhichmakesmeaskyoutogiveusthisaccount。
ALC。Havetheimportantcareswhichperhapsengrossyoumadeyousoquicklylosetheremembranceofit？
AMPH。Perhaps；but，inshort，youwouldpleasemebytellingmethewholestory。
ALC。Thestoryisnotlong。Iadvancedtowardsyoufullofadelightedsurprise；Iembracedyoutenderly，andshowedmyjoymorethanonce。
AMPH。（tohimself。）Ah！Icouldhavedonewithoutsosweetawelcome。
ALC。Youfirstmademethisvaluablegift，whichyoudestinedformefromthespoilsoftheconquered。Yourheartvehementlyunfoldedtomealltheviolenceofitslove，andtheannoyingdutieswhichhadkeptitenchained，thehappinessofseeingmeagain，thetormentsofabsence，allthecarewhichyourimpatiencetoreturnhadgivenyou；
neverhasyourlove，onsimilaroccasions，seemedtomesotenderandsopassionate。
AMPH。（tohimself。）Canonebemorecruellytortured？
ALC。Asyoumaywellbelieve，thesetransportsandthistendernessdidnotdispleaseme；ifImustconfessit，Amphitryon，myheartfoundathousandcharmsinthem。
AMPH。Whatfollowed，pray？
ALC。Weinterruptedeachotherwithathousandquestionsconcerningeachother。Thetablewaslaid。Wesuppedtogetherbyourselves；
and，supperover，wewenttobed。
AMPH。Together？
ALC。Assuredly。Whataquestion？
AMPH。Ah；thisisthemostcruelstrokeofall；myjealouspassiontrembledtoassureitselfofthis。
ALC。Whydoyoublushsodeeplyataword？HaveIdonesomethingwrongingoingtobedwithyou？
AMPH。No，tomygreatmisery，itwasnotI；whoeversaysIwashereyesterday，tells，ofallfalsehoods，themosthorrible。
ALC。Amphitryon！
AMPH。Perfidiouswoman！
ALC。Ah！Whatmadnessisthis！
AMPH。No，no；nomoresweetness，nomorerespect；thisrebuffputsanendtoallmyconstancy；atthisghastlymoment，myheartbreathesonlyfuryand，vengeance。
ALC。Onwhomthenwouldyoubeavenged？Whatwantoffaithinmemakesyoutreatmenowasacriminal？
AMPH。Idonotknow，butitwasnotI；thisdespairmakesmecapableofanything。
ALC。Awayunworthyhusband，thedeedspeaksforitself，theimpostureisfrightful。Itistoogreataninsulttoaccusemeofinfidelity。Iftheseconfusedtransportsmeanthatyouseekapretexttobreakthenuptialbondswhichholdmeenchainedtoyou，allthesepretencesaresuperfluous，forIamdeterminedthatthisdayallourtiesshallbebroken。
AMPH。Aftertheunworthyaffront，whichInowlearnhasbeendoneme，thatisindeedwhatyoumustprepareyourselffor；itistheleastthatcanbeexpected；andthingsmaynotperhapsremainthere。
Thedishonourissure；mymiseryismadeplaintome；andmyprideinvainwouldhideitfromme。Thedetailsarestillnotclear：MyangerisjustandIclaimtobeenlightened。YourbrothercanpositivelyavouchthatIdidnotleavehimuntilthismorning：I
willgoandseekhim，inorderthatImayconfoundyouaboutthereturnfalselyimputedtome。Afterwards，wewillpenetratetothebottomofamysteryunheardofuntilnow；and，inthefuryofarighteousanger，woetohimwhohasbetrayedme！
SOS。Monsieur……
AMPH。Donotaccompanyme，butremainhereforme。
CLE。MustI……？
ALC。Icannothearanything：leavemealone：donotfollowme。
SCENEIII
CLEANTHIS，SOSIE
CLE。Somethingmusthaveturnedhisbrain；butthebrotherwillsoonfinishthisquarrel。
SOS。Thisisaverysharpblowformymaster；hisfateiscruel。I
greatlyfearsomethingcomingformyself。Iwillgosoftlyinenlighteningher。
CLE。Letmeseewhetherhewillsomuchasspeaktome！Iwillnotrevealanything。
SOS。Thesethingsareoftenannoyingwhenoneknowsaboutthem：I
hesitatetoaskher。Woulditnotbebetternottoriskanything，andtoignorewhatmayhavehappened？Yet，atallhazard，Imustsee。Icannothelpmyself。Curiosityconcerningthingswhichonewouldrathernotknowisahumanweakness。Heavenpreserveyou，Cleanthis！
CLE。Ah！Ah！Youdaretocomenearme，youvillain！
SOS。GoodHeavens！Whatisthematterwithyou？Youarealwaysinatemper，andbecomeangryaboutnothing！
CLE。Whatdoyoucallaboutnothing？Speakout。
SOS。Icallaboutnothingwhatiscalledaboutnothinginverseaswellasinprose；andnothing，asyouwellknow，meanstosaynothing，orverylittle。
CLE。Idonotknowwhatkeepsmefromscratchingyoureyesout，infamousrascal，toteachyouhowfartheangerofawomancango。
SOS。Hullo！Whatdoyoumeanbythisfuriousrage？
CLE。Thenyoucallthatnothing，perhaps，whichyouhavedonetome？
SOS。Whatwasthat？
CLE。So？Youfeigntobeinnocent？Doyoufollowtheexampleofyourmasterandsayyoudidnotreturnhere？
SOS。No，Iknowthecontrarytoowell；butIwillbefrankwithyou。
Wehaddrunksomewretchedwine，whichmighthavemademeforgetwhatIdid。
CLE。Youthink，perhaps，toexcuseyourselfbythistrick，……
SOS。No，intruthyoumaybelieveme。IwasinsuchaconditionthatImayhavedonethingsIshouldregret；Idonotrememberwhattheywere。
CLE。Youdonotevenrememberthemannerinwhichyouthoughtfittotreatmewhenyoucamefromtheport？
SOS。Notatall。Youhadbettertellmeallaboutit；Iamjustandsincere，andwouldcondemnmyselfwereIwrong。
CLE。Well？Amphitryonhavingwarnedmeofyourreturn，Isatupuntilyoucame；butIneversawsuchcoldness：Ihadmyselftoremindyouthatyouhadawife；and，whenIwantedtokissyou，you，turnedawayyourhead，andgavemeyourear。
SOS。Good。
CLE。Whatdoyoumeanbygood？
SOS。Goodgracious！YoudonotknowwhyItalklikethis，Cleanthis：
Ihadbeeneatinggarlic，and，likeawell-bredman，justturnedmybreathawayfromyou。
CLE。Ishowedyoueverypossibletenderness；butyouwereasdeafasaposttoeverythingIsaid；neverakindwordpassedyourlips。
SOS。Courage！
CLE。Inshort，myflamebadtoburnalone，itschasteardourdidnotfindanythinginyoubutice；youweretheculpritinareturnthatmighthavebeensodifferent：youevenwentsofarastorefusetotakeyourplaceinbed，whichthelawsofwedlockobligeyoutooccupy。
SOS。What？DidInotgotobed？
CLE。No，youcoward。
SOS。Isitpossible？
CLE。Itisbuttootrue，yourascal。Ofallaffrontsthisaffrontisthegreatest；and，insteadofyourheartrepairingitswrongthismorning，youleftmewithwordsfullofundisguisedcontempt。
SOS。VivatSosie！
CLE。Eh，what？Hasmycomplainthadthiseffect？Youlaughatyourfinegoingson？
SOS。HowpleasedIamwithmyself！
CLE。Isthisthewaytoexpressyourgriefatsuchanoutrage？
SOS。IshouldneverhavebelievedIcouldbesoprudent。
CLE。Insteadofcondemningyourselfforsuchaperfidioustrick，yourejoiceatittomyface！
SOS。Goodgracious！Gently，gently！IfIappearpleased，youmustbelievethatIhaveaverystrongprivatereasonforit；withoutthinkingofit，IneverdidbetterthaninusingyouinsuchamannerasIdid。
CLE。Areyoulaughingatme，youvillain？
SOS。No，Iamspeakingopenlytoyou。Iwasinawretchedstate。I
hadacertainload，whichyourwordshaveliftedfrommysoul。Iwasveryapprehensive，andfearedthatIhadplayedthefoolwithyou。
CLE。Whatisthisfear？Come，letusknowwhatyoumean。
SOS。Thedoctorssaythat，whenoneisdrunk，oneshouldabstainfromone’swife，for，inthatconditionwecanonlyhavechildrenwhoaredull，andwhocannotlive。Think，ifmyhearthadnotarmeditselfwithcoldness，whattroublesmighthavefollowed！
CLE。Idonotcareafigfordoctors，withtheirinsipidreasonings。
Letthemrulethosewhoaresickwithoutwishingtogovernhealthypeople。Theymeddlewithtoomanyaffairswhentheyseektoreininourchastedesires；inadditiontothedogdays，andtheirstrictrules，theytellusahundredridiculousstoriesintothebargain。
SOS。Gently。
CLE。No；Imaintaintheirsisaworthlessconclusion：thosereasonscomefromidioticbrains。Neitherwinenortimeoughttopreventthedutiesofconjugallovefrombeingfulfilled；doctorsaredonkeys。
SOS。Ientreatyou，moderateyourangeragainstthem；theyarehonestpeople，whatevertheworldmaysayofthem。
CLE。Thingsarenotwhatyouthinkthem；youcanshutup；yourexcusewillnotgodown；and，soonerorlater，Itellyouplainly，I
willavengemyselfforthecontemptyoushowmeeveryday。I
remembereverythingyousaidjustnow，andIshalltrytomakeuseofthelibertyyougaveme，Youfaithless，cowardlyhusband。
SOS。What？
CLE。Youtoldmejustnow，youvillain，thatyouwouldheartilyagreetomylovinganother。
SOS。Ah！InthatmatterIwaswrong。Iretract；myhonourisatstake。Youhadbetterbewareyoudonotgivewaytothatsentiment。
CLE。NeverthelessifsometimeIcanmakeupmymindtothething……
SOS。Juststoptalkingforthepresent。Amphitryoniscomingback，andheseemspleased。
SCENEIV
JUPITER，CLEANTHIS，SOSIE
JUP。IshalltakethisopportunityofappearingtoAlcmenetobanishthesorrowinwhichshewishestoindulge，and，underthepretencethatbringsmehere，Iwillgratifymypassionwiththedelightofareconciliationwithher。Alcmeneisupstairs，isshenot？
CLE。Yes；sheisthoroughlyupsetandwishestobeleftalone：shehasforbiddenmetofollowher。
JUP。Whateverprohibitionshemayhavegivenyoudoesnotconcernme。
CLE。SofarasIcansee，hisgriefhasbeatenaquickretreat。
SCENEV
CLEANTHIS，SOSIE
SOS。Whatdoyousay，Cleanthis，tothesecheerfullooks，afterhisterriblerage？
CLE。Thatweshouldalldowelltosendallmentothedevil；thebestofthemisnotworthmuch。
SOS。Yousaythatbecauseyouareinapassion；butyouaretoofondofmen；uponmyword，youwouldalllookasblackasthunderifthedevilweretotakethemallaway。
CLE。Really……
SOS。Heretheycome。Hush。
SCENEVI
JUPITER，ALCMENE，CLEANTHIS，SOSIE
JUP。Doyouwanttodrivemetodespair？Alas！Stay，lovelyAlcmene。
ALC。No，Icannotremainlongerwiththeauthorofmygrief。
JUP。IbeseechyouALC。Leaveme。
JUP。What……？
ALC。Leaveme，Itellyou。
JUP。Hertearstouchmetotheheart；hersorrowtroublesme。AllowmetoALC。No，donotfollowme，JUP。Whereareyougoing？
ALC。Whereyouarenot。
JUP。Thatwouldbeavainattempttomake。Iamlinkedtoyourbeautybytoocloseabondtosufferamoment’sseparationfromyou。
Ishallfollowyoueverywhere，Alcmene。
ALC。AndIshallfleefromyoueverywhere。
JUP。Iamveryterrible，then！
ALC。Yes，morethanIcansay。Indeed，Ilookuponyouasafrightfulmonster，acruel，furiousmonster，whoseapproachistobefeared；asamonstertobeavoidedeverywhere。Myheartsuffersincrediblegriefatthesightofyou；itisatorturethatoverpowersme；IdonotknowanythingunderHeavensofrightful，horribleandodious，thatIcouldnotbetterendurethanyou。
JUP。Alas！Dothesewordsreallycomefromyourmouth？
ALC。Ihavemanymoreinmyheart；IonlyregretIcannotfindwordstoexpressallIfeel。
JUP。Ah！Whathasmyheartdonetoyou，Alcmene，thatIshouldbelookeduponassuchamonster？
ALC。Oh！JustHeaven！Hecanaskthat？Isitnotenoughtodrivememad？
JUP。Yet，inamilderspirit……
ALC。No；Idonotwisheithertoseeortohearanythingofyou。
JUP。Haveyoureallythehearttotreatmethus？IsthisthetenderlovewhichIheardyesterdaywastolastsolong？
ALC。No，no，itisnot；yourbaseinsultshaveordaineditotherwise。Thatpassionateandtenderlovedoesnotexistanylonger；youhavecruellykilleditinmyheartbyahundredkeenwounds。Initsplacestandsaninflexiblewrath，alivelyresentment，aninvincibleindignation，thedespairofaheartjustlyincensed，whichresolvestohateyouforthisgrievousinjury，asmuchasitwaswillingtoloveyou；thatistosaytohateasmuchaspossible。
JUP。Alas！Yourlovemusthavehadbutlittlestrength，ifitcanbekilledbysoslightamatter！Canajestdivorceus？Isthereanyneedtobesorousedatatrifle？
ALC。Ah！Itisjustthatwhichoffendsme：thatwhichmyangercannotpardon。Ishouldhavefeltlesswoundedbythejustifiabletransportsofafitofjealousy。Jealousymakesimpressionstheforceofwhichoftentimescarriesusbeyondourcontrol；atsuchtimesthemostdiscreetmind，nodoubt，findsitdifficultenoughtoanswerforitsdeeds。Theviolenceofaheartwhichmayhavebeendeludedhas，initsverydelusion，apeace-offeringforanaggrievedsoul，andthelovethatgavebirthtoitsfears，furnishes，inspiteofallitsviolence，atleastsomereasonstourgeasexcuse。
Outburstssuchastheseeverhaveloveasanexcuseagainstanger：
forlovegavebirthtothem，andwecaneasilypardonwhatwecannotcontrol。
Buttoflyintouncontrollablefury，ingaietyofheart，andsocauselesslyandkeenlytowoundthetendernessandhonourofaheartthatdearlylovesyou，ah！Itistoocruelablow：mygriefcanneverforgetit。
JUP。Yes，youareright，Alcmene；Iadmitit。Thisactionisunquestionablyanodiouscrime；Idonotpretendtojustifyitlonger：yetallowmyhearttodefenditselfinyoureyes，andletitrevealtoyouwhoistoblameforthisinsultingfury。Totellyoufrankly，itisthehusbandAlcmene，whohasdonethiswrong；itisthehusbandwhomyoumustblame。Theloverhasnoshareinthischurlishanger：hisheartisnotcapableofoffendingyou。Hehastoomuchrespectandaffectionforyouevertothinkofit；hadhebeenguiltyofthecrimeofdoingaughtthatcouldwoundyou，hewouldpiercehimselfwithahundredstabsbeforeyoureyes。Butthehusbandhascastasidethathumblesubmissionwhichshouldalwaysbeyours；byhisharshdeeds，thehusbandhasmadehimselfknown；hethoughttherightsofmarriageallowedhimeverything。Yes，itishenodoubtwhoisguiltytowardsyou；heonlyhasill-treatedyourlovelyperson。Hate，detestthehusband；Iconsenttoit；Iyieldhimtoyourmercy；but，Alcmene，sparetheloverfromtheangerwhichsuchanoffencegivesyou；donotlethimsuffer；
differentiatebetweenhimandtheguiltyone；and，finally，inordertobejust，donotpunishhimforwhathehasnotdone。
ALC。Oh！Allthesesubtletiesarebutfrivolousexcuses；suchlanguageonlyannoysincensedminds。Invaindoyouusetheseridiculousprevarications。Idonotmakeanydistinctioninhimwhooffendsme；everythinginhimbecomestheobjectofmyanger，theloverandthehusbandarealikeconfoundedinitsjustviolence。
Bothoccupymythoughts；botharepaintedinthesamecoloursbymywoundedheart。Bothareguilty；bothhaveoffendedme；andbothareodioustome。
JUP。Well！Then，sinceyouwishit，Imustchargemyselfwiththeoffence。Yes，youareright，whenyousacrificemeasaguiltyvictimtoyourresentment。Angertowardsmeswaysyou；itisbuttoojust，andalltheterriblewrathyoushowcausesmetosufferonlylawfultorments。Itisrightyoushouldshunmypresence，andinyourangerthreatentofleefrommeeverywhere。Imustbeadetestableobjecttoyou；youarerightinthinkingillofme。Mycrimeinbeingoffensiveinyourcharmingeyessurpasseseveryhorror；itisacrimethatoffendsmenandGods；inshort，aspunishmentformyinsolenceIdeservethatyourhatredshouldventitsutmostuponme。Ibegyourforgiveness，Ibegituponmyknees，Ibegitforthesakeofthemostlivelypassion，ofthetenderestloveforyou，whichhaseverbeenkindledinahumanbreast。If，charmingAlcmene，yourheartrefusesmethepardonwhichIhavetheaudacitytoseek，thenshallawell-aimedstrokeputanendtomylife，andreleasemefromtheharshseverityofapenaltywhichI
cannolongerbear。Yes，thisstateofthingsdrivesmetodespair。
Donotthink，Alcmene，that，enamouredasIamofyourcelestialcharms，Icanliveadayunderyourwrath。Eventhesemoments’agonyisbarbarouslyprolongedandmysadheartsinksundertheirmortalblows。Thecruelwoundsofathousandvulturesarenotcomparableinanywaytomylivelygrief。Alcmene，youhavebuttotellmeIneednothopeforpardon：andimmediatelythissword，byahappythrust，shallpiercetheheartofamiserablewretchbeforeyoureyes。Thisheart，thistraitorousheart，toodeservingofdeath，sinceithasoffendedanadorablebeing，willbehappyif，indescendingintotheplaceofshades，mydeathappeasesyouranger，and，afterthiswretchedday，itleavesinyoursoulnoimpressionofhatredinrememberingmylove！ThisisallIaskasasovereignfavour。
ALC。Ah！Cruelhusband。
JUP。Speak，Alcmene，speak。
ALC。MustIstillkeepsomekindnessforyou，whoinsultmebysomanyindignities？
JUP。Whateverresentmentanoutragecausesus，canitholdoutagainsttheremorseofaheartdeeplyinlove？
ALC。Aheartfullofpassionwouldratherexposeitselftoathousanddeaths，thanoffendtheobjectbeloved。
JUP。Themoreoneloves，theeasieritisALC。No，donotspeaktomeanylongeraboutit；youdeservemyhatred。
JUP。Youhatemethen？
ALC。Imakeeveryefforttodoso，anditannoysmetofeelthatallyourinsultsdonotyetcarrymyvengeancesofarasyieldtoit。
JUP。Butwhythisviolence，sinceIoffertokillmyselftosatisfyyourrevenge？PronouncethesentenceandimmediatelyIwillobey。
ALC。Itisimpossibletowishforanother’sdeathifhatredbeabsent。
JUP。Icannotliveunlessyouabandonthewraththatoverwhelmsme，andunlessyougrantmethefavourofapardonwhichIbegatyourfeet。Decidetodooneortheotherquickly：topunish，ortoabsolve。
ALC。Alas！TheonlyresolutionIcantakeisbuttooclearlyapparent。Myhearthastooplainlybetrayedme，formetowishtomaintainthisanger：isitnottosaywepardon，whenwesaywecannothate？
JUP。Ah，charmingAlcmene，overwhelmedwithdelightImust……
ALC。Forbear：Ihatemyselfforsuchweakness。
JUP。Go，Sosie，makehaste；asweetjoyfillsmysoul。Seewhatofficersofthearmyyoucanfind，andaskthemtodinewithme。
（Softlyaside。）Mercurycanfillhispost，whileheisawayfromhere。
SCENEVII
CLEANTHIS，SOSIE
SOS。Come！Now，yousee，thiscouple，Cleanthis。Willyoufollowtheirexample，andletusalsomakepeace？Indulgeinsomeslightreconciliation？
CLE。Forthesakeofyourlovelymug，Ohyes！Iwill，andnomistake。
SOS。What？Youwillnot？
CLE。No。
SOS。Itdoesn’tmattertome。Somuchtheworseforyou。
CLE。Well，well，comeback。
SOS。No，not，likely！Ishallnotdoanythingofthekind，Ishallbeangry。Iturnnow。
CLE。Goaway，youvillain，letmealone；onegetstirednowandthenofbeinganhonestwoman。
ENDOFTHESECONDACT
ACTIII
SCENEI
AMPHITRYON
Yes，sodoubtfatehideshimpurposelyfromme；atlastamItiredoftryingtofindhim。Idonotknowanythingthatcanbemorecruelthanmylot。Inspiteofallmyendeavours，IcannotfindhimwhomI
seek；allthoseIdonotseekIfind。Athousandtiresomebores，whodonotthinktheyareso，drivememadwiththeircongratulationsonourfeatsofarms，althoughtheyknowlittleofme。Inthecruelembarrassmentandanxietythattroublesme，theyallburdenmewiththeirattentions，andtheirrejoicingsmakemyuneasinessworse。InvainItrytopassthemby，tofleefromtheirpersecutions；theirkillingfriendshipstopsmeonallsides；whilstIreplytotheardouroftheirexpressionsbyanodofthehead，Imutterundermybreathahundredcursesonthem。Ah！Howlittleweareflatteredbypraise，honourandallthatagreatvictorybrings，wheninwardlywesufferkeensorrow！HowwillinglywouldIexchangeallthisglorytohavepeaceofmind！Ateveryturnmyjealousytwitsmewithmydisgrace；themoremymindpondersoverit，thelesscanIunravelitsmiserableconfusion。Thetheftofthediamondsdoesnotastonishme；sealsmaybetamperedwithunperceived；butmymostcrueltormentisthatsheinsistsIgavethegifttoherpersonallyyesterday。Natureoftentimesproducesresemblances，whichsomeimpostorshaveadoptedinordertodeceive；butitisinconceivablethat，undertheseappearances，amanshouldpasshimselfoffasahusband；thereareathousanddifferencesinarelationshipsuchasthiswhichawifecouldeasilydetect。ThemarvellouseffectsofThessalianmagichaveatalltimesbeenrenowned；butIhavealwayslookeduponasidletalesthefamousstorieseveryonetalksof。ItwouldbeahardfateifI，aftersogloriousavictoryelsewhere，shouldbecompelledtobelievethematthecostofmyownhonour。I
willquestionheragainuponthiswretchedmystery，andseeifitisnotasillyfancythathastakenadvantageofherdisorderedbrain。
OrighteousHeaven，maythisthoughtbetrue，andmaysheevenhavelosthersenses，sothatImaybehappy！
SCENEII
MERCURY，AMPHITRYON
MERC。Sincelovedoesnotoffermeanypleasurehere，Iwillatleastenjoymyselfinanotherway，andenlivenmydismalleisurebyputtingAmphitronoutofallpatience。ThismaynotbeverycharitableinaGod；butIshallnotbothermyselfaboutthat；myplanettellsmeIamsomewhatgiventomalice。
AMPH。Howisitthatthedoorisclosedatthishour？
MERC。Hullo！Gently，gently！Whoknocks？
AMPH。I。
MERC。Who，I？
AMPH。Ah！Open。
MERC。Whatdoyoumeanby’open’？Whoareyou，pray，tomakesucharow，andspeaklikethat？
AMPH。So？Youdonotknowme？
MERC。No，norhaveItheleastwishto。
AMPH。Iseveryonelosinghissensestoday？Isthemaladyspreading？
Sosie！Hullo，Sosie！
MERC。Come，now！Sosie：thatismyname；areyouafraidIshallforgetit？
AMPH。Doyouseeme？
MERC。Wellenough。Whatcanpossessyourarmtomakesuchanuproar？
Whatdoyouwantdownthere？
AMPH。I，yougallows-bird！WhatdoIwant？
MERC。Whatdoyounotwantthen？Speak，ifyouwanttobeunderstood。
AMPH。Listen，youvillain：Iwillcomeupwithasticktomakeyouunderstand，andgiveyouafinelesson。Howdareyouspeaktomelikethat？
MERC。Softly，softly！Ifyoumaketheleastattempttocreateanuproar，Ishallsendyoudownsomemessengerswhowillannoyyou。
AMPH。OhHeavens！Didanyoneeverconceivesuchinsolence？Andfromaservant，fromabeggar？
MERC。Come，now！Whatisthematter？Haveyougoneovereverythingcorrectly？Haveyourbigeyestakeneverythingin？Heglares，sosavagehelooks！Iflookscouldbite，hewouldhavetornmetoshredsbynow。
AMPH。Itrembleatwhatyouarebringinguponyourselfwithallthisimpudenttalk。Whatafrightfulstormyouarebrewingforyourself！
Whatatempestofblowswillstormdownonyourback！
MERC。Ifyoudonotsoondisappearfromhere，myfriend，youmaycomeinforsomemauling。
AMPH。Ah！Youvillain，youshallknowtoyourconfusionwhatitisforavalettoattackhismaster。
MERC。You，mymaster？
AMPH。Yes，rascal。Doyoudaretosayyoudonotrecogniseme？
MERC。IdonotrecogniseanyothermasterthanAmphitryon。
AMPH。Andwho，besidesmyself，maythisAmphitryonbe？
MERC。Amphitryon？
AMPH。Certainly。
MERC。Ah！Whatanillusion！Come，tellmeinwhatdecenttavernyouhaveaddledyourbrain？
AMPH。What？Again？
MERC。Wasitafeast-daywine？
AMPH。Heavens！
MERC。Wasitoldornew？
AMPH。Whatinsults！
MERC。Newgoestoone’shead，ifdrunkwithoutwater。
AMPH。Ah！Ishalltearyourtongueoutsoon。
MERC。Passon，mydearfriend；believeme，nooneherewilllistentoyou。Irespectwine。Goaway，makeyourselfscarce，andleaveAmphitryontothepleasureswhichheistasting。
AMPH。What！IsAmphitryoninthere？
MERC。Rather：coveredwiththelaurelsofhisfinevictory，heissidebysidewiththelovelyAlcmeneenjoyingthedelightsofacharmingtete-a-tete。Theyaretastingthepleasuresofbeingreconciled，nowtheirlove-tiffhasblownover。Takecarehowyoudisturbtheirsweetprivacy，unlessyouwishhimtopunishyouforyourexcessiverashness。
SCENEIII
AMPHITRYON
Ah！Whatafrightfulblowhehasgivenme！Howcruellyhasheputmetoconfusion！Ifmattersareasthisvillainsays，towhatastatearemyhonourandmyaffectionreduced？WhatcoursecanIadopt？AmItonoiseitabroadorkeepitsecret？OughtI，inmyanger，tokeepthedishonourofmyhousetomyselformakeitpublic？Come！
Mustoneeventhinkwhattodoinsogrossanaffront？Ihavenostanding，nothingtohopefor；allmyanxietynowshallbehowtoavengemyself。
SCENEIV
SOSIE，NAUCRATES，POLIDAS，AMPHITRYON
SOS。AllIhavebeenabletodo，Monsieur，withallmydiligence，istohavebroughtthesegentlemenhere。
AMPH。Ah！Youarehere？
SOS。Monsieur。
AMPH。Insolent，boldrascal！
SOS。What？
AMPH。Ishallteachyoutotreatmethus。
SOS。Whatisit？Whatisthematterwithyou？
AMPH。Whatisthematterwithme，villain？
SOS。Hullo，gentlemen，comeherequickly。
NAU。Ah！Stay，Ibeseechyou。
SOS。OfwhatamIguilty？
AMPH。Youaskmethat，youscoundrel？Letmesatisfymyrighteousanger。
SOS。Whentheyhanganyone，theytellhimwhytheydoit。
NAU。Atleastcondescendtotelluswhathiscrimemaybe。
SOS。Ibeseechyou，gentlemen，keepatightholdofme。
AMPH。Yes！Hehasjusthadtheaudacitytoshutthedoorinmyface，andtoaddthreatstoathousandimpudentjeers！Ah！Youvillain！
SOS。Iamdead。
NAU。Restrainthisanger。
SOS。Gentlemen。
POL。Whatisit？
SOS。Hashestruckme？
AMPH。No，hemusthavehisrewardforthelanguagehehasmadefreetousejustnow。
SOS。HowcouldthatbewhenIwaselsewherebusycarryingoutyourorders？ThesegentlemenherecanbearwitnessthatIhavejustinvitedthemtodinewithyou。
NAU。Thatistrue：hehasjustdeliveredusthismessage，andwouldnotquitus。
AMPH。Whogaveyouthatorder？
SOS。You。
AMPH。When？
SOS。Afteryoumadeyourpeace，whenyouwererejoicingatthedelightofhavingappeasedAlcmene’sanger。
AMPH。OHeaven！Everyinstant，everystep，addssomethingtomycruelmartyrdom；IamsoutterlyconfusedthatInolongerknoweitherwhattobelieveorwhattosay。
NAU。Allhehasjusttoldus，ofwhathashappenedatyourhouse，surpasseswhatisnaturalsomuch，thatbeforedoinganythingandbeforeflyingintosuchapassion，yououghttoclearupthewholeofthisadventure。
AMPH。Come；youcansecondmyefforts；Heavenhasbroughtyouheremostopportunely。Letmeseewhatfortunebringsmetoday；letmesolvethismystery，andknowmyfate。Alas！Iburntolearnit，andIdreaditmorethandeath。
SCENEV
JUPITER，AMPHITRYON，NAUCRATES，POLIDAS，SOSIE
JUP。Whatisthisnoisethatcompelsmetocomedown？WhoknocksasthoughheweremasterwhereIammaster？
AMPH。GoodGods！WhatdoIsee？
NAU。Heaven！Whatprodigyisthis？What？HerearetwoAmphitryons！
AMPH。Mysoulisstruckdumb。Alas！Icannotdoanythingmore：theadventureisatanend；myfateisclear；whatIseetellsmeall。
NAU。ThemorenarrowlyIwatchthem，themoreIfindtheyresembleeachother。
SOS。Gentlemen，thisisthetrueone；theotherisanimpostorwhooughttobechastised。
POL。Truly，thismarvellousresemblancekeepsmyjudgmentinsuspense。
AMPH。Wehavebeentrickedtoolongbyanexecrablerogue；Imustbreakthespellwiththissteel。
NAU。Stay。
AMPH。Leavemealone。
NAU。YeGods！Whatwouldyoudo？
AMPH。Punishthemiserabletreacheryofanimpostor。
JUP。Gently，gently！Thereisverylittleneedofbeingcarriedawaybypassion；whenamanburstsoutinsucharageasthis，itmakesonethinkhehasbadreasons。
SOS。Yes；itisanenchanter，whohasatalismanthatenableshimtoresemblethemastersofhouses。
AMPH。Foryourshareinthisinsultinglanguage，Ishallmakeyoufeelathousandblows。
SOS。Mymasterisamanofcourage：hewillnotallowhisfollowerstobethrashed。
AMPH。Letmeassuagemydeepanger，andwashoutmyaffrontinthescoundrel’sblood。
NAU。WeshallnotsufferthisstrangecombatofAmphitryonagainsthimself。
AMPH。What？Doesmyhonourreceivethistreatmentfromyou？Domyfriendsundertakethedefenceofarogue？Farfrombeingthefirsttotakeupmyvengeance，theythemselvesplaceobstaclesinthewayofmyresentment？
NAU。Whatdoyouwishustodecide，whentwoAmphitryonsarebeforeusandallthewarmthofourfriendshipisinsuspense？Ifwewerenowtoshowtowardsyou，wefearwemightmakeamistake，andnotrecogniseyou。TrulyweseeinyoutheappearanceofAmphitryon，theglorioussupportoftheThebans’well-being；butwealsoseethesameappearanceinhim，andwecannotjudgewhichheis。Ourdutyisnotdoubtful，theimpostoroughttobitethedustatourhands；butthisperfectresemblancehideshimbetweenyoutwo；anditistoohazardousastroketoundertakeinthedark。Letusfindoutquietlyonwhichsidetheimposturemaybe；then，assoonaswehaveunravelledtheadventure，itwillnotbenecessaryforyoutotellusourduty。
JUP。Yes，youareright，thisresemblanceauthorisesyoutodoubtbothofus。Iamnotoffendedtoseeyoucannotmakeupyourminds：
Iammorereasonable，andexcuseyou。Theeyecannotdifferentiatebetweenus。Iseeonecaneasilybemistaken。Youdonotseemegivewaytoanger，nordrawmysword：thatisabadwaytoenlightenamystery；Icanfindonemoregentleandmorecertain。OneofusisAmphitryon；andbothofusmayseemsoinyoureyes。Itisformetoendthisconfusion。Iintendtomakemyselfsowellknowntoall，that，attheoverwhelmingproofsIshallbringforwardtoshowwhoI
am，behimselfshallagreeconcerningthebloodfromwhichIsprang，andheshallnolongerhaveoccasiontosayanything。BeforealltheThebansIwillrevealthetruthtoyou；theaffairis，unquestionably，ofsufficientimportancetojustifymyseekingtoclearitupinthesightofall。Alcmeneexpectsthispublictestimonyfromme；hervirtue，whichisoutragedbythenoiseofthismischance，demandsjustification，andIwillseejusticeisdoneit。Myloveforhercompelsmetoit。Ishallcalltogetheranassemblyofthenoblestchiefs，fortheexplanationherhonourrequires。Whilewaitingwithyouforthesedesirablewitnesses，I
prayyoutocondescendtohonourthetabletowhichSosiehasinvitedyou。
SOS。Iwasnotmistaken，gentlemen，thiswordputsanendtoallirresolution：therealAmphitryonistheAmphitryonwhogivesdinners。
AMPH。OHeaven！Canmyhumiliationgofurther？MustIindeedsufferthemartyrdomoflisteningtoallthatthisimpostorhasjustsaidtomyface，myarmsbound，thoughhiswordsdrivememad？
NAU。Youarewrongtocomplain。Letusawaittheexplanationwhichshallrenderresentmentseasonable。Idonotknowwhetherheimposesuponusornot；buthespeaksonthematterasthoughhewereright。
AMPH。Go，youweak-kneedfriends，andflattertheimposture。Thebeshasotherfriendswhowillflockroundme，differentfromyou。I
willgoandfindsomewho，sharingtheinsult，willknowbowtolendtheirhandinmyjustcause。
JUP。Ahwell！Iawaitthem；Ishallknowhowtodecidethediscussionintheirpresence。
AMPH。Yourogue，youthinkperhapstoevadejusticethus；butnothingshallshieldyoufrommyvengeance。
JUP。Ishallnotnowcondescendtoanswerthisinsultinglanguage；
soonIshallbeabletoconfoundyourfurywithtwowords。
AMPH。NotHeaven，notHeavenitselfcanprotectyou：IshalldogyourfootstepseventoHell。
JUP。Itwillnotbenecessary；youwillsoonseeIshallnotflyaway。
AMPH。Now，beforehegoesawaywiththese，Iwillmakehastetogathertogetherfriendswhowillaidmycause；theywillcometomyhouseandhelpmetopiercehimwithathousandthrusts。
JUP。Noceremony，Iimploreyou；letusgoquicklyintothehouse。
NAU。Really，thisadventureutterlyconfoundsthesensesandthereason。
SOS。Atruce，gentlemen，toallyoursurprises；letusjoyfullysitdowntofeeduntilthemorning。Iintendtofeastwell，sothatI
maybeingoodconditiontorelateourvaliantdeeds！Iamitchingtoattackthedishes；Ineverfeltsohungry。
SCENEVI
MERCURY，SOSIE
MERC。Stop。Whathaveyoucometopokeyournoseinherefor，youimpudentturn-spit？
SOS。Ah！Gently，gently，formercy’ssake！
MERC。Ah！Youhavecomebackagain！Ishalltanyourhideforyou。
SOS。Ah！BraveandgenerousI，composeyourself，Ibeseechyou。
Sosie，spareSosiealittle，anddonotdivertyourselfbyknockingyourselfdown。
MERC。Whogaveyoulibertytocallyourselfbythatname？DidInotexpresslyforbidyoutodoso，underpenaltyofexperiencingathousandcutsfromthecane？
SOS。Itisanamewebothmaybearatthesametime，underthesamemaster。IamrecognisedasSosieeverywhere；Ipermityoutobehe，permitmetobeso，too。LetusleaveittothetwoAmphitryonstogiveventtotheirjealousies，and，thoughtheycontend，letthetwoSosiesliveinthebondsofpeace。
MERC。No，oneisquiteenough；Iamdeterminednottoallowanydivision。
SOS。Youshallhaveprecedenceoverme；Iwillbetheyounger，andyoushallbetheelder。
MERC。No：abrotherisanuisance，andnottomytaste；Iintendtobetheonlyson。
SOS。Obarbarousandtyrannicalheart！Allowmeatleasttobeyourshadow。
MERC。Notatall。
SOS。Letyoursoulhumaniseitselfwithalittlepity！Allowmetobenearyouinthatcapacity：Ishallbeeverywheresosubmissiveashadowthatyouwillbepleasedwithme。
MERC。Noquarter；thelawisimmutable。Ifyouagainhavetheaudacitytogointhere，athousandblowsshallbethefruit。
SOS。Alas！PoorSosie，towhatmiserabledisgraceareyoureduced！
MERC。So？YourlipspresumeagaintogiveyourselfanameIforbid！
SOS。No，Ididnotintendmyself；IwasspeakingofanoldSosie，whowasformerlyarelativeofmine，andwhom，withtheutmostbarbarity，theydroveoutofthehouseatdinnerhour。
MERC。Takecareyoudonotfallintothatidiocyifyouwishtoremainamongthenumberoftheliving。
SOS。HowIwouldthwackyouifIhadthecourage，foryourwretchedpuffeduppride，youdoublesonofastrumpet！
MERC。Whatdoyousay？
SOS。Nothing。
MERC。Iamsureyoumutteredsomething。
SOS。Askanyone；Idonotbreathe。
MERC。NeverthelessIamabsolutelycertainthatsomethingaboutasonofastrumpetstruckmyear。
SOS。Itmusthavebeenaparrotrousedbythebeautifulweather。
MERC。Adieu。Ifyourbackitchesforacurrying，hereiswhereIlive。
SOS。OHeavens！Whatacursedhouristhedinnerhourtobeturnedoutofdoors！Come，letusyieldtofateinouraffliction。Letustodayfollowblindcaprice，andjointheunfortunateSosietotheunfortunateAmphitryon：itisasuitableunion。Iseeheiscomingingoodcompany。
SCENEVII
AMPHITRYON，ARGATIPHONTIDAS，POSICLES，SOSIE
AMPH。Stayhere，gentlemen，followmealittlewayoff，anddonotalladvance，Iprayyou，untilthereisneedforit。
POS。Iquiteunderstandthisblowtouchesyoutotheheart。
AMPH。Ah！Mysorrowisbitterthroughandthrough：Isufferinmyaffection，asmuchasinmyhonour。
POS。Ifthisresemblanceissuchasissaid，Alcmene，withoutbeingguilty……
AMPH。Ah！Inthisaffair，asimpleerrorbecomesaveritablecrime，and，thoughnowayconsenting，innocenceperishesinit。Sucherrors，inwhateverwaywelookatthem，affectusinthemostsensitiveparts；reasonoften，oftenpardonsthem，whenhonourandlovecannot。
ARGAT。Idonotbothermythoughtsaboutthat；butIhateyourgentlemenfortheirdisgracefuldelay；itisaproceedingwhichwoundsmetothequick，andonewhichcourageouspeoplewillneverapprove。Whenanymanhasneedofus，weoughttothrowourselvesheadforemostintohisconcerns。Argatiphontidasisnotoneforcompromisingmatters。Itisnotseemlyformenofhonourtolistentotheargumentsofafriend’sadversary；oneshouldonlylistentovengeanceatsuchtimes。Theproceedingdoesnotpleaseme；inquarrelssuchastheseweoughtalwaystobeginsendingtheswordthroughthebody，withoutanynonsense。Yes，whateverhappens，youshallseethatArgatiphontidasgoesstraighttothepoint。Ientreatyounottoletthevillaindiebyanyotherhandthanmine。
AMPH。Comeon。
SOS。Icome，Monsieur，toundergoatyourkneesthejustpunishmentofcursedaudacity。Strike，beat，drub，overwhelmmewithblows，killmeinyouranger；youwilldowell，Ideserveit；Ishallnotsayasinglewordagainstyou。
AMPH。Getup。Whatisthematter？
SOS。Ihavebeenturnedawayunceremoniously；thinkingtoeatandrejoicelikethem，Ididnotthinkthat，asitturnedout，Iwaswaitingtheretothrashmyself。Yes，theotherI，valettotheotheryou，hasplayedtheverydevilwithmeoncemore。Thesamecruelfateseemstopursueusbothtoday，Monsieur。Inshort，theyhaveun-Sosiedme，astheyun-Amphitryon’dyou。
AMPH。Followme。
SOS。Isitnotbettertoseeifanybodyiscoming？
SCENEVIII
CLEANTHIS，NAUCRATES，POLIDAS，SOSIE，AMPHITRYON，ARGATIPHONTIDAS，POSICLES
CLE。OHeaven！
AMPH。Whatfrightensyoulikethis？Whyareyouafraidofme？
CLE。Why！YouareupthereandIseeyouhere！
NAU。Donothurry；herehecomestogive，beforeusall，theexplanationwewant。Ifwemaybelievewhathehasjustsaidaboutit，itwillbanishawayyourtroubleandcare。
SCENEIX
MERCURY，CLEANTHIS，NAUCRATES，POLIDAS，SOSIE，AMPHITRYON，ARGATIPHONTIDAS，POSICLES
MERC。Yes，youshallallseehim；knowbeforehandthatitisthegrandmasteroftheGods，whom，underthecherishedfeaturesofthisresemblance，Alcmenehascausedtodescendherefromtheheavens。Asforme，IamMercury。Notknowingwhatelsetodo，IhavegivenhimadrubbingwhoseappearanceItook。Hemaynowconsolehimself，forstrokesfromthewandofaGodconferhonouronhimwhohastosubmittothem。
SOS。Uponmyword，MonsieurGod，Iamyourservant；Icouldhavedonewithoutyourattentions。
MERC。InowgiveyouleavetobeSosie。Iamtiredofwearingsuchanuglymug；Iamgoingtotheheavens，toscrapeitalloffwithambrosia。（Hefliesawaytotheskies。）
SOS。MayHeavenforeverkeepyoufromthedesireofwishingtocomenearmeagain！Yourfuryagainstmehasbeentoobitter；neverinmylifehaveIseenaGodwhowasmoreofadevilthanyou！
SCENEX
JUPITER，CLEANTHIS，NAUCRATES，POLIDAS，SOSIE，AMPHITRYON，ARGATIPHONTIDAS，POSICLES
JUP。（Inacloud，）Behold，Amphitryon，whohasimposedonyou；underhisownaspectyouseeJupiter。Bythesesignsyoumayeasilyknowhim；theyaresufficient，Ithink，torestoreyourheartwhereitshouldbetobringbackpeaceandhappinesstoyourfamily。Myname，whichthewholeearthcontinuallyadores，thusstiflesallscandalthatmightbespreadabroad。AsharewithJupiterhasnothingthatintheleastdishonours，fordoubtless，itcanbebutglorioustofindone’sselftherivalofthesovereignoftheGods。Idonotseeanyreasonwhyyourloveshouldmurmur；itisI，GodasIam，whooughttobejealousinthisaffair。Alcmeneiswhollyyours，whatevermeansonemayemploy；itmustbegratifyingtoyourpassiontoseethatthereisnootherwayofpleasingherthantoappearasherhusband。EvenJupiter，clothedinhisimmortalglory，couldnotbyhimselfundermineherfidelity；whathehasreceivedfromherwasgrantedbyherardentheartonlytoyou。
SOS。TheSeigneurJupiterknowshowtogildthepill。
JUP。Castaside，therefore，theblackcarethatstiflesyourheart；
restoreperfectpeacetotheardourwhichconsumesyou。Inyourhouseshallbebornason，who，underthenameofHercules，shallcausethevastuniversetoringwithhisdeeds。AgloriousfuturecrownedwithathousandblessingsshallleteveryoneseeIamyoursupport；Iwillmakeyourfatetheenvyofthewholeworld。Youmayboldlyflatteryourselfwithwhatthesepromisesconfer。Itisacrimetodoubtthem，forthewordsofJupiterarethedecreesoffate。（Heislostintheclouds。）
NAU。Truly，Iamdelightedattheseevidentmarks……
SOS。Gentlemen，willyoupleasetakemyadvice？Donotembarkinthesesugarycongratulations；itisabadspeculation；phrasesareembarrassingoneitherside，insuchacompliment。ThegreatGodJupiterhasdoneusmuchhonour，and，unquestionaby，hiskindnesstowardsusisunparalleled；hepromisesustheinfalliblehappinessofafortunecrownedwithathousandblessings，andinourhouseshallbebornabraveson。Nothingcouldbebetterthanthis。But，nevertheless，letuscutshortourspeeches，andeachoneretirequietlytohisownhouse。Insuchaffairsasthese，itisalwaysbestnottosayanything。