第2章

CHAPTERIV

SUPERNATURALCHRONOMETRY

Rowenawasdiningout,JoeandHarrywerebelatedatplay,therewerebutthreechairsandfourpersonsthatnoonatthehomedinner-table——

thetwins,thewidow,andherchum,AuntBetsyHale。ThewidowsoonperceivedthatAngelo’sspiritswereaslowasLuigi’swerehigh,andalsothathehadajadedlook。Hermotherlysolicitudewasaroused,andshetriedtogethiminterestedinthetalkandwinhimtoahappierframeofmind,butthecloudofsadnessremainedonhiscountenance。

Luigilenthishelp,too。Heusedaformandaphrasewhichhewasalwaysaccustomedtoemployinthesecircumstances。Hegavehisbrotheranaffectionateslapontheshoulderandsaid,encouragingly:

\"Cheerup,theworstisyettocome!\"

Butthisdidnogood。Itneverdid。Ifanything,itmadethematterworse,asarule,becauseitirritatedAngelo。ThismadeitafavoritewithLuigi。Byandbythewidowsaid:

\"Angelo,youaretired,you’veoverdoneyourself;yougorighttobedafterdinner,andgetagoodnapandarest,thenyou’llbeallright。\"

\"Indeed,IwouldgiveanythingifIcoulddothat,madam。\"

\"Andwhat’stohender,I’dliketoknow?Land,theroom’syourstodowhatyoupleasewith!Theideathatyoucan’tdowhatyoulikewithyourown!\"

\"But,yousee,there’soneprimeessential——anessentialoftheveryfirstimportance——whichisn’tmyown。\"

\"Whatisthat?\"

\"Mybody。\"

Theoldladieslookedpuzzled,andAuntBetsyHalesaid:

\"Whyblessyourheart,howisthat?\"

\"It’smybrother’s。\"

\"Yourbrother’s!Idon’tquiteunderstand。Isupposeditbelongedtobothofyou。\"

\"Soitdoes。Butnottobothatthesametime。\"

\"Thatismightycurious;Idon’tseehowitcanbe。Ishouldn’tthinkitcouldbemanagedthatway。\"

\"Oh,it’sagoodenougharrangement,andgoesverywell;infact,itwouldn’tdotohaveitotherwise。Ifindthattheteetotalersandtheanti-teetotalershiretheuseofthesamehallfortheirmeetings。Bothpartiesdon’tuseitatthesametime,dothey?\"

\"Youbettheydon’t!\"saidbotholdladiesinabreath。

\"And,moreover,\"saidAuntBetsy,\"theFreethinkersandtheBaptistBibleclassusethesameroomovertheMarkethouse,butyoucantakemywordforittheydon’tmushuptogetheranduseitatthesametime。’

\"Verywell,\"saidAngelo,\"youunderstanditnow。Anditstandstoreasonthatthearrangementcouldn’tbeimproved。I’llproveittoyou。

Ifourlegstriedtoobeytwowills,howcouldweevergetanywhere?

Iwouldstartoneway,Luigiwouldstartanother,atthesamemoment——

theresultwouldbeastandstill,wouldn’tit?\"

\"Assureasyouareborn!Nowain’tthatwonderful!Abodywouldneverhavethoughtofit。\"

\"Weshouldalwaysbearguingandfussinganddisputingoverthemeresttrifles。Weshouldloseworldsoftime,forwecouldn’tgodown-stairsorup,couldn’tgotobed,couldn’trise,couldn’twash,couldn’tdress,couldn’tstandup,couldn’tsitdown,couldn’tevencrossourlegs,withoutcallingameetingfirstandexplainingthecaseandpassingresolutions,andgettingconsent。Itwouldn’teverdo——nowwouldit?\"

\"Do?Why,itwouldwearapersonoutinaweek!Didyoueverhearanythinglikeit,PatsyCooper?\"

\"Oh,you’llfindthere’smorethanonethingaboutthemthatain’tcommonplace,\"saidthewidow,withthecomplacentairofapersonwithapropertyrightinanoveltythatisunderadmiringscrutiny。

\"Well,now,howeverdoyoumanageit?Idon’tmindsayingI’msufferingtoknow。\"

\"Hewhomadeus,\"saidAngeloreverently,\"andwithusthisdifficulty,alsoprovidedawayoutofit。Byamysteriouslawofourbeing,eachofushasutterandindisputablecommandofourbodyaweekatatime,turnandturnabout。\"

\"Well,Inever!Nowain’tthatbeautiful!\"

\"Yes,itisbeautifulandinfinitelywiseandjust。TheweekendseverySaturdayatmidnighttotheminute,tothesecond,tothelastshadeofafractionofasecond,infallibly,unerringly,andinthatinstanttheonebrother’spoweroverthebodyvanishesandtheotherbrothertakespossession,asleeporawake。\"

\"HowmarvelousareHisways,andpastfindingout!\"

Luigisaid:\"Soexactlytotheinstantdoesthechangecome,thatduringourstayinmanyofthegreatcitiesoftheworld,thepublicclockswereregulatedbyit;andashundredsofthousandsofprivateclocksandwatchesweresetandcorrectedinaccordancewiththepublicclocks,wereallyfurnishedthestandardtimefortheentirecity。\"

\"Don’ttellmethatHedon’tdomiraclesanymore!BlowingdownthewallsofJerichowithrams’hornswa’n’tasdifficult,inmyopinion。\"

\"Andthatisnotall,\"saidAngelo。\"Athingthatisevenmoremarvelous,perhaps,isthefactthatthechangetakesnoteoflongitudeandfitsitselftothemeridianweareon。Luigiisincommandthisweek。Now,ifonSaturdaynightatamomentbeforemidnightwecouldflyinaninstanttoapointfifteendegreeswestofhere,hewouldholdpossessionofthepoweranotherhour,forthechangeobserveslocaltimeandnoother。\"

BetsyHalewasdeeplyimpressed,andsaidwithsolemnity:

\"PatsyCooper,fordetailitlaysoverthePassageoftheRedSea。\"

\"Now,Ishouldn’tgoasfarasthat,\"saidAuntPatsy,\"butifyou’veamindtosaySodomandGomorrah,Iamwithyou,BetsyHale。\"

\"Iamagreeable,then,thoughIdothinkIwasright,andIbelieveParsonMaltbywouldsaythesame。Well,now,there’sanotherthing。

Supposeoneofyouwantstoborrowthelegsaminutefromtheonethat’sgotthem,couldhelethim?\"

\"Yes,butwehardlyeverdothat。Thereweredisagreeableresults,severaltimes,andsoweveryseldomaskorgranttheprivilege,nowadays,andwenevereventhinkofsuchathingunlessthecaseisextremelyurgent。Besides,aweek’spossessionatatimeseemssolittlethatwecan’tbeartospareaminuteofit。Peoplewhohavetheuseoftheirlegsallthetimeneverthinkofwhatablessingitis,ofcourse。

Itneveroccurstothem;it’sjusttheirnaturalordinarycondition,andsoitdoesnotexcitethematall。ButwhenIwakeup,onSundaymorning,andit’smyweekandIfeelthepowerallthroughme,oh,suchawaveofexultationandthanksgivinggoessurgingoverme,andIwanttoshout’Icanwalk!Icanwalk!’Madam,doyouever,atyouruprising,wanttoshout’Icanwalk!Icanwalk!’?\"

\"No,youpoorunfortunatecretur’,butI’llnevergetoutofmybedagainwithoutdoingit!Laws,tothinkI’vehadthisunspeakableblessingallmylonglifeandneverhadthegracetothankthegoodLordthatgaveittome!\"

Tearsstoodintheeyesofboththeoldladiesandthewidowsaid,softly:

\"BetsyHale,wehavelearnedsomething,youandme。\"

Theconversationnowdriftedwide,butbyandbyfloatedbackoncemoretothatadmireddetail,therigidandbeautifulimpartialitywithwhichthepossessionofpowerhadbeendistributed,betweenthetwins。AuntBetsysawinitafarfinerjusticethanhumanlawexhibitsinrelatedcases。Shesaid:

\"Inmyopinionitain’trightno,andneverhasbeenright,thewayatwinbornaquarterofaminutesoonerthantheotheronegetsallthelandandgrandeursandnobilitiesintheoldcountriesandhisbrotherhastogobareandbeanobody。Whichofyouwasbornfirst?\"

Angelo’sheadwasrestingagainstLuigi’s;wearinesshadovercomehim,andforthepastfiveminuteshehadbeenpeacefullysleeping。Theoldladieshaddroppedtheirvoicestoalullingdrone,tohelphimtostealtheresthisbrotherwouldn’ttakehimup-stairstoget。LuigilistenedamomenttoAngelo’sregularbreathing,thensaidinavoicebarelyaudible:

\"Wewerebothbornatthesametime,butIamsixmonthsolderthanheis。\"

\"Fortheland’ssake!\"

\"’Sh!don’twakehimup;hewouldn’tlikemytellingthis。Ithasalwaysbeenkeptsecrettillnow。\"

\"Buthowintheworldcanitbe?Ifyouwerebothbornatthesametime,howcanoneofyoubeolderthantheother?\"

\"Itisverysimple,andIassureyouitistrue。Iwasbornwithafullcropofhair,hewasasbaldasaneggforsixmonths。Icouldwalksixmonthsbeforehecouldmakeastep。Ifinishedteethingsixmonthsaheadofhim。Ibegantotakesolidssixmonthsbeforeheleftthebreast。

Ibegantotalksixmonthsbeforehecouldsayaword。Last,andabsolutelyunassailableproof,thesuturesinmyskullclosedsixmonthsaheadofhis。Alwaysjustthatsixmonths’differencetoaday。Wasthataccident?Nobodyisgoingtoclaimthat,I’msure。Itwasordaineditwaslawithaditsmeaning,andweknowwhatthatmeaningwas。Nowwhatdoesthisoverwhelmingbodyofevidenceestablish?Itestablishesjustonething,andthatthingitestablishesbeyondanyperadventurewhatever。Friends,wewouldnothaveitknownfortheworld,andImustbegyoutokeepitstrictlytoyourselves,butthetruthis,wearenomoretwinsthanyouare。\"

Thetwooldladieswerestunned,paralyzed-petrified,onemayalmostsay——andcouldonlysitandgazevacantlyateachotherforsomemoments;

thenAuntBetsyHalesaidimpressively:

\"There’snogettingaroundprooflikethat。Idobelieveit’sthemostamazingthingIeverheardof。\"Shesatsilentamomentortwoandbreathinghardwithexcitement,thenshelookedupandsurveyedthestrangerssteadfastlyalittlewhile,andadded:\"Well,itdoesbeatme,butIwouldhavetookyoufortwinsanywhere。\"

\"SowouldI,sowouldI,\"saidAuntPatsywiththeemphasisofacertaintythatisnotimpairedbyanyshadeofdoubt。

\"Anybodywould-anybodyintheworld,Idon’tcarewhoheis,\"saidAuntBetsywithdecision。

\"Youwon’ttell,\"saidLuigi,appealingly。

\"Oh,dear,no!\"answeredbothladiespromptly,\"youcantrustus,don’tyoubeafraid。\"

\"Thatisgoodofyou,andkind。Neverleton;treatusalwaysasifweweretwins。\"

\"Youcandependonus,\"saidAuntBetsy,\"butitwon’tbeeasy,becausenowthatIknowyouain’tyoudon’tseemso。\"

Luigimutteredtohimselfwithsatisfaction:\"Thatswindlehasgonethroughwithoutchangeofcars。\"

Itwasnotverykindofhimtoloadthepoorthingsupwithasecretlikethat,whichwouldbealwaysflyingtotheirtongues’endseverytimetheyheardanyonespeakofthestrangersastwins,andwouldbecomeharderandhardertohangontowitheveryrecurrenceofthetemptationtotellit,whilethetortureofretainingitwouldincreasewitheverynewstrainthatwasapplied;butheneverthoughtofthat,andprobablywouldnothaveworriedmuchaboutitifhehad。

Avisitorwasannounced——someonetoseethetwins。Theywithdrewtotheparlor,andthetwooldladiesbegantodiscusswithinterestthestrangethingswhichtheyhadbeenlisteningto。Whentheyhadfinishedthemattertotheirsatisfaction,andAuntBetsyrosetogo,shestoppedtoaskaquestion:

\"HowdoesthingscomeonbetweenRowenyandTomDriscoll?\"

\"Well,aboutthesame。Hewritestolerableoften,andsheanswerstolerableseldom。\"

\"Whereishe?\"

\"InSt。Louis,Ibelieve,thoughhe’ssuchagadaboutthatabodycan’tbeverycertainofhim,Ireckon。\"

\"Don’tRowenyknow?\"

\"Oh,yes,likeenough。Ihaven’taskedherlately。\"

\"Doyouknowhowhimandthejudgearegettingalongnow?\"

\"Firstrate,Ibelieve。Mrs。Prattsaysso;andbeingrightinthehouse,andsistertotheoneandaunttot’other,ofcoursesheoughttoknow。Shesaysthejudgeisrealfondofhimwhenhe’saway;butfretswhenhe’saroundandisvexedwithhisways,andnotsorrytohavehimgoagain。Hehasbeengonethreeweeksthistime——apleasantthingforbothofthem,Ireckon。\"

\"Tom’sratherharum-scarum,butthereain’tanythingbadinhim,I

guess。\"

\"Oh,no,he’sjustyoung,that’sall。Still,twenty-threeisold,inoneway。Ayoungmanoughttobeearninghislivingbythattime。IfTomweredoingthat,orwaseventryingtodoit,thejudgewouldbeaheapbettersatisfiedwithhim。Tom’salwaysgoingtobegin,butsomehowhecan’tseemtofindjusttheopeninghelikes。\"

\"Well,now,it’spartlythejudge’sownfault。Promisingtheboyhispropertywasn’tthewaytosethimtoearningafortuneofhisown。ButwhatdoyouthinkisRowenybeginningtoleananytowardhim,orain’tshe?\"

AuntPatsyhadasecretinherbosom;shewantedtokeepitthere,butnaturewastoostrongforher。ShedrewAuntBetsyaside,andsaidinhermostconfidentialandmysteriousmanner:

\"Don’tyoubreatheasyllabletoasoul——I’mgoingtotellyousomething。

InmyopinionTomDriscoll’schanceswereconsiderablebetteryesterdaythantheyareto-day。\"

\"PatsyCooper,whatdoyoumean?\"

\"It’sso,assureasyou’reborn。Iwishyoucould’a’beenatbreakfastandseenforyourself。\"

\"Youdon’tmeanit!\"

\"Well,ifI’manyjudge,there’saleaning——there’saleaning,sure。\"

\"Myland!Whichoneof’emisit?\"

\"Ican’tsayforcertain,butIthinkit’stheyoungestone——Anjy。\"

Thentherewerehand-shakings,andcongratulations,andhopes,andsoon,andtheoldladiesparted,perfectlyhappy——theoneinknowingsomethingwhichtherestofthetowndidn’t,andtheotherinhavingbeenthesolepersonabletofurnishthatknowledge。

ThevisitorwhohadcalledtoseethetwinswastheRev。Mr。Hotchkiss,pastoroftheBaptistchurch。AtthereceptionAngelohadtoldhimhehadlatelyexperiencedachangeinhisreligiousviews,andwasnowdesirousofbecomingaBaptist,andwouldimmediatelyjoinMr。

Hotchkiss’schurch。Therewasnotimetosaymore,andthebrieftalkendedatthatpoint。Theministerwasmuchgratified,andhaddroppedinforamomentnow,toinvitethetwinstoattendhisBibleclassateightthatevening。Angeloaccepted,andwasexpectingLuigitodecline,buthedidnot,becauseheknewthattheBibleclassandtheFreethinkersmetinthesameroom,andhewantedtotreathisbrothertotheembarrassmentofbeingcaughtinfree-thinkingcompany。

CHAPTERV

GUILTANDINNOCENCEFINELYBLENT

[Alongandvigorousquarrelfollows,betweenthetwins。Andthereisplentytoquarrelabout,forAngelowasalwaysseekingtruth,andthisobligedhimtochangeandimprovehisreligionwithfrequency,whichweariedLuigi,andannoyedhimtoo;forhehadtobepresentateachnewenlistment——whichplacedhiminthefalsepositionofseemingtoindorseandapprovehisbrother’sfickleness;moreover,hehadtogotoAngelo’sprohibitionmeetings,andhehatedthem。Ontheotherhand,whenitwashisweektocommandthelegshegaveAngelojustcauseofcomplaint,forhetookhimtocircusesandhorse-racesandfandangoes,exposinghimtoallsortsofcensureandcriticism;andhedrank,too;andwhateverhedrankwenttoAngelo’sheadinsteadofhisownandmadehimactdisgracefully。Whentheeveningwascome,thetwoattendedtheFree-

thinkers’meeting,whereAngelowassadandsilent;thencametheBibleclassandlookeduponhimcoldly,findinghiminsuchcompany。ThentheywenttoWilson’shouseandChapterXIofPudd’nheadWilsonfollows,whichtellsofthegirlseeninTomDriscoll’sroom;andcloseswiththekickingofTombyLuigiattheanti-temperancemass-meetingoftheSonsofLiberty;withtheadditionofsomeaccountofRoxy’sadventuresasachamber-maidonaMississippiboat。Herexchangeofthechildrenhadbeenflippantlyandfarcicallydescribedinanearlierchapter。

Nextmorningallthetownwasa-buzzwithgreatnews;Pudd’nheadWilsonhadalawcase!The,publicastonishmentwassogreatandthepubliccuriositysointense,thatwhenthejusticeofthepeaceopenedhiscourt,theplacewaspackedwithpeopleandeventhewindowswerefull。

Everybodywas,flushedandperspiring;thesummerheatwasalmostunendurable。

TomDriscollhadbroughtachargeofassaultandbatteryagainstthetwins。RobertAllenwasretainedbyDriscoll,DavidWilsonbythedefense。Tom,hisnativecheerfulnessunannihilatedbyhisback-breakingandbone-bruisingpassageacrossthemassedheadsoftheSonsofLibertythepreviousnight,laughedhislittlecustomarylaugh,andsaidtoWilson:

\"I’vekeptmypromise,yousee;I’mthrowingmybusinessyourway。

SoonerthanIwasexpecting,too。\"

\"It’sverygoodofyou——particularlyifyoumeantokeepitup。\"

\"Well,Ican’ttellaboutthatyet。Butwe’llsee。IfIfindyoudeserveitI’lltakeyouundermyprotectionandmakeyourfameandfortuneforyou。\"

\"I’lltrytodeserveit,Tom。\"

Ajurywasswornin;thenMr。Allensaid:

\"Wewilldetainyourhonorbutamomentwiththiscase。Itisnotonewhereanydoubtofthefactoftheassaultcanenterin。Thesegentlemen——theaccused——kickedmyclientattheMarketHalllastnight;

theykickedhimwithviolence;withextraordinaryviolence;withevenunprecedentedviolence,Imaysay;insomuchthathewasliftedentirelyoffhisfeetanddischargedintothemidstoftheaudience。Wecanprovethisbyfourhundredwitnesses——weshallcallbutthree。Mr。Harknesswilltakethestand。\"

Mr。Harkness,beingsworn,testifiedthathewaschairmanupontheoccasionmentioned;thathewascloseathandandsawthedefendantsinthisactionkicktheplaintiffintotheairandsawhimdescendamongtheaudience。

\"Takethewitness,\"saidAllen。

\"Mr。Harkness,\"saidWilson,\"yousayyousawthesegentlemen,myclients,kicktheplaintiff。Areyousure——andpleaserememberthatyouareonoath——areyouperfectlysurethatyousawbothofthemkickhim,oronlyone?Nowbecareful。\"

Abewilderedlookbegantospreaditselfoverthewitness’sface。Hehesitated,stammered,butgotoutnothing。Hiseyeswanderedtothetwinsandfixedthemselvestherewithavacantgaze。

\"Pleaseanswer,Mr。Harkness,youarekeepingthecourtwaiting。Itisaverysimplequestion。\"

Counselfortheprosecutionbrokeinwithimpatience:

\"Yourhonor,thequestionisanirrelevanttriviality。Necessarily,theybothkickedhim,fortheyhavebuttheonepairoflegs,andbothareresponsibleforthem。\"

Wilsonsaid,sarcastically:

\"Willyourhonorpermitthisnewwitnesstobesworn?Heseemstopossessknowledgewhichcanbeoftheutmostvaluejustatthismoment——

knowledgewhichwouldatoncedisposeofwhateveryonemustseeisaverydifficultquestioninthiscase。BrotherAllen,willyoutakethestand?\"

\"Goonwithyourcase!\"saidAllen,petulantly。Theaudiencelaughed,andgotawarningfromthecourt。

\"Now,Mr。Harkness,\"saidWilson,insinuatingly,\"weshallhavetoinsistuponananswertothatquestion。\"

\"I——er——well,ofcourse,Idonotabsolutelyknow,butinmyopinion——\"

\"Nevermindyouropinion,sir——answerthequestion。\"

\"I——why,Ican’tanswerit。\"

\"Thatwilldo,Mr。Harkness。Standdown。\"

Theaudiencetittered,andthediscomfitedwitnessretiredinastateofgreatembarrassment。

Mr。Wakemantookthestandandsworethathesawthetwinskicktheplaintiffofftheplatform。

Thedefensetookthewitness。

\"Mr。Wakeman,youhaveswornthatyousawthesegentlemenkicktheplaintiff。DoIunderstandyoutoswearthatyousawthembothdoit?\"

\"Yes,sir,\"——withderision。

\"Howdoyouknowthatbothdidit?\"

\"BecauseIsawthemdoit。\"

Theaudiencelaughed,andgotanotherwarningfromthecourt。

\"Butbywhatmeansdoyouknowthatboth,andnotone,didit?\"

\"Well,inthefirstplace,theinsultwasgiventobothofthemequally,fortheywerecalledapairofscissors。Ofcoursetheywouldbothwanttoresentit,andso——\"

\"Wait!Youaretheorizingnow。Sticktofacts——counselwillattendtothearguments。Goon。\"

\"Well,theybothwentoverthere——thatIsaw。\"

\"Verygood。Goon。\"

\"Andtheybothkickedhim——Isweartoit。\"

\"Mr。Wakeman,wasCountLuigi,here,willingtojointheSonsofLibertylastnight?\"

\"Yes,sir,hewas。Hedidjoin,too,anddrankaglassortwoofwhisky,likeaman。\"

\"Washisbrotherwillingtojoin?\"

\"No,sir,hewasn’t。Heisateetotaler,andwaselectedthroughamistake。\"

\"Washegivenaglassofwhisky?\"

\"Yes,sir,butofcoursethatwasanothermistake,andnotintentional。

Hewouldn’tdrinkit。Hesetitdown。\"Aslightpause,thenheadded,casuallyandquitesimply:\"Theplaintiffreachedforitandhoggedit。\"

Therewasafineoutburstoflaughter,butasthejusticewascaughtouthimself,hisreprimandwasnotveryvigorous。

Mr。Allenjumpedupandexclaimed:\"Iprotestagainstthesefoolishirrelevancies。Whathavetheytodowiththecase?\"

Wilsonsaid:\"Calmyourself,brother,itwasonlyanexperiment。Now,Mr。Wakeman,ifoneofthesegentlemenchoosestojoinanassociationandtheotherdoesn’t;andifoneofthemenjoyswhiskyandtheotherdoesn’t,butsetsitasideandleavesitunprotected\"(titterfromtheaudience),\"itseemstoshowthattheyhaveindependentminds,andtastes,andpreferences,andthatoneofthemisabletoapproveofathingattheverymomentthattheotherisheartilydisapprovingofit。

Doesn’titseemsotoyou?\"

\"Certainlyitdoes。It’sperfectlyplain。\"

\"Now,then,itmightbe——Ionlysayitmightbe——thatoneofthesebrotherswantedtokicktheplaintifflastnight,andthattheotherdidn’twantthathumiliatingpunishmentinflicteduponhiminthatpublicwayandbeforeallthosepeople。Isn’tthatpossible?\"

\"Ofcourseitis。It’smorethanpossible。Idon’tbelievetheblondonewouldkickanybody。Itwastheotheronethat——\"

\"Silence!\"shoutedtheplaintiff’scounsel,andwentonwithanangrysentencewhichwaslostinthewaveoflaughterthatsweptthehouse。

\"Thatwilldo,Mr。Wakeman,\"saidWilson,\"youmaystanddown。\"

Thethirdwitnesswascalled。Hehadseenthetwinskicktheplaintiff。

Mr。Wilsontookthewitness。

\"Mr。Rogers,yousayyousawtheseaccusedgentlemenkicktheplaintiff?\"

\"Yes,sir。\"

\"Bothofthem?\"

\"Yes,sir。\"

\"Whichofthemkickedhimfirst?\"

\"Why——they——theybothkickedhimatthesametime。

\"Areyouperfectlysureofthat?\"

\"Yes,sir。\"

\"Whatmakesyousureofit?\"

\"Why,Istoodrightbehindthem,andsawthemdoit。\"

\"Howmanykicksweredelivered?\"

\"Onlyone。\"

\"Iftwomenkick,theresultshouldbetwokicks,shouldn’tit?\"

\"Why——whyyes,asarule。\"

\"Thenwhatdoyouthinkwentwiththeotherkick?\"

\"I——well——thefactis,Iwasn’tthinkingoftwobeingnecessary,thistime。\"

\"Whatdoyouthinknow?\"

\"Well,I——I’msureIdon’tquiteknowwhattothink,butIreckonthatoneofthemdidhalfofthekickandtheotheronedidtheotherhalf。\"

Somebodyinthecrowdsungout:\"It’sthefirstsanethingthatanyofthemhassaid。\"

Theaudienceapplauded。Thejudgesaid:\"Silence!orIwillclearthecourt。\"

Mr。Allenlookedpleased,butWilsondidnotseemdisturbed。Hesaid:

\"Mr。Rogers,youhavefavoreduswithwhatyouthinkandwhatyoureckon,butasthinkingandreckoningarenotevidence,Iwillnowgiveyouachancetocomeoutwithsomethingpositive,onewayortheother,andshallrequireyoutoproduceit。Iwillasktheaccusedtostandupandrepeatthephenomenalkickoflastnight。\"Thetwinsstoodup。\"Now,Mr。Rogers,pleasestandbehindthem。\"

AVoice:\"No,standinfront!\"(Laughter。Silencedbythecourt。)

AnotherVoice:\"No,giveTommyanotherhighst!\"(Laughter。Sharplyrebukedbythecourt。)

\"Now,then,Mr。Rogers,twokicksshallbedelivered,oneaftertheother,andIgiveyoumywordthatatleastoneofthetwoshallbedeliveredbyoneofthetwinsalone,withouttheslightestassistancefromhisbrother。Watchsharply,foryouhaveoftorenderadecisionwithoutanyif’sandandsit。\"Rogersbenthimselfbehindthetwinswithpalmsjustabovehisknees,inthemodernattitudeofthecatcheratabaseballmatch,andrivetedeyesonthepairoflegsinfrontofhim。

\"Areyouready,Mr。Rogers?\"

\"Readysir。\"

Thekick,launched。

\"Haveyougotthatoneclassified,Mr。Rogers?\"

\"Letmestudyaminute,sir。\"

\"Takeasmuchtimeasyouplease。Letmeknowwhenyouareready。\"

ForasmuchasaminuteRogerspondered,withalleyesandabreathlessinterestfasteneduponhim。Thenhegavetheword:\"Ready,sir。\"

\"Kick!\"

Thekickthatfollowedwasanexactduplicateofthefirstone。

\"Now,then,Mr。Rogers,oneofthosekickswasanindividualkick,notamutualone。Youwillnowstatepositivelywhichwasthemutualone。\"

Thewitnesssaid,withacrestfallenlook:

\"I’vegottogiveitup。Thereain’tanymanintheworldthatcouldtellt’otherfromwhich,sir。\"

\"Doyoustillassertthatlastnight’skickwasamutualkick?\"

\"Indeed,Idon’t,sir。\"

\"Thatwilldo,Mr。Rogers。IfmybrotherAllendesirestoaddressthecourt,yourhonor,verywell;butasfarasIamconcernedIamreadytoletthecasebeatoncedeliveredintothehandsofthisintelligentjurywithoutcomment。\"

Mr。JusticeRobinsonhadbeeninofficeonlytwomonths,andinthatshorttimehadnothadmanycasestotry,ofcourse。Hehadnoknowledgeoflawsandcourtsexceptwhathehadpickedupsincehecameintooffice。Hewasasoretroubletothelawyers,forhisrulingswereprettyeccentricsometimes,andhestoodbythemwithRomansimplicityandfortitude;butthepeoplewerewellsatisfiedwithhim,fortheysawthathisintentionswerealwaysright,thathewasentirelyimpartial,andthatheusuallymadeupingoodsensewhathelackedintechnique,sotospeak。Henowperceivedthattherewaslikelytobeamiscarriageofjusticehere,andherosetotheoccasion。

\"Waitamoment,gentlemen,\"hesaid,\"itisplainthatanassaulthasbeencommitteditisplaintoanybody;butthewaythingsaregoing,theguiltywillcertainlyescapeconviction。Icannotallowthis。Now——-\"

\"But,yourhonor!\"saidWilson,interruptinghim,earnestlybutrespectfully,\"youaredecidingthecaseyourself,whereasthejury——\"

\"Nevermindthejury,Mr。Wilson;thejurywillhaveachancewhenthereisareasonabledoubtforthemtotakeholdof——whichthereisn’t,sofar。Thereisnodoubtwhateverthatanassaulthasbeencommitted。

Theattempttoshowthatbothoftheaccusedcommittedithasfailed。

Aretheybothtoescapejusticeonthataccount?Notinthiscourt,ifIcanpreventit。Itappearstohavebeenamistaketobringthechargeagainstthemasacorporation;eachshouldhavebeenchargedinhiscapacityasanindividual,and——\"

\"But,yourhonor!\"saidWilson,\"infairnesstomyclientsImustinsistthatinasmuchastheprosecution’dnotseparatethe——\"

\"Nowrongwillbedoneyourclients,sir——theywillbeprotected;

alsothepublicandtheoffendedlaws。Mr。Allen,youwillamendyourpleadings,andputoneoftheaccusedontrialatatime。\"

Wilsonbrokein:\"But,yourhonor!thisiswhollyunprecedented!

Toimperilanaccusedpersonbyarbitrarilyalteringandwideningthechargeagainsthiminordertocompasshisconvictionwhenthechargeasoriginallybroughtpromisestofailtoconvict,isathingunheardofbefore。\"

\"Unheardofwhere?\"

\"Inthecourtsofthisoranyotherstate。\"

Thejudgesaidwithdignity:\"Iamnotacquaintedwiththecustomsofothercourts,andamnotconcernedtoknowwhattheyare。Iamresponsibleforthiscourt,andIcannotconscientiouslyallowmyjudgmenttobewarpedandmyjudiciallibertyhamperedbytryingtoconformtothecapricesofothercourts,bethey——\"

\"But,yourhonor,theoldestandhighestcourtsinEurope——\"

\"ThiscourtisnotrunontheEuropeanplan,Mr。Wilson;itisnotrunonanyplanbutitsown。Ithasaplanofitsown;andthatplanis,tofindjusticeforbothStateandaccused,nomatterwhathappenstobepracticeandcustominEuropeoranywhereelse。\"(Greatapplause。)

\"Silence!Ithasnotbeenthecustomofthiscourttoimitateothercourts;ithasnotbeenthecustomofthiscourttotakeshelterbehindthedecisionsofothercourts,andwewillnotbeginnow。WewilldothebestwecanbythelightthatGodhasgivenus,andwhilethis’courtcontinuestohaveHisapproval,itwillremainindifferenttowhatotherorganizationsmaythinkofit。\"(Applause。)\"Gentlemen,Imusthaveorder!——quietyourselves!Mr。Allen,youwillnowproceedagainsttheprisonersoneatatime。Goonwiththecase。\"

Allenwasnotathisease。However,afterwhisperingamomentwithhisclientandwithoneortwootherpeople,heroseandsaid:

\"Yourhonor,Ifindittobereportedandbelievedthattheaccusedareabletoactindependentlyinmanyways,butthatthisindependencedoesnotextendtotheirlegs,authorityovertheirlegsbeingvestedexclusivelyintheonebrotherduringaspecifictermofdays,andthenpassingtotheotherbrotherforaliketerm,andsoon,byregularalternation。Icouldcallwitnesseswhowouldprovethattheaccusedhadrevealedtothemtheexistenceofthisextraordinaryfact,andhadalsomadeknownwhichofthemwasinpossessionofthelegsyesterday——andthiswould,ofcourse,indicatewheretheguiltoftheassaultbelongs——

butasthiswouldbemerehearsayevidence,theserevelationsnothavingbeenmadeunderoath\"

\"Nevermindaboutthat,Mr。Allen。Itmaynotallbehearsay。Weshallsee。Itmayatleasthelptoputusontherighttrack。Callthewitnesses。\"

\"ThenIwillcallMr。JohnBuckstone,whoisnowpresent,andIbegthatMrs。PatsyCoopermaybesentfor。Takethestand,Mr。Buckstone。\"

Buckstonetooktheoath,andthentestifiedthatonthepreviouseveningtheCountAngeloCapellohadprotestedagainstgoingtothehall,andhadcalledallpresenttowitnessthathewasgoingbycompulsionandwouldnotgoifhecouldhelphimself。Also,thattheCountLuigihadrepliedsharplythathewouldgo,justthesame,andthathe,CountLuigi,wouldseetothathimself。Also,thatuponCountAngelo’scomplainingaboutbeingkeptonhislegssolong,CountLuigiretortedwithapparentsurprise,\"Yourlegs!——Ilikeyourimpudence!\"

\"Nowwearegettingatthekernelofthething,\"observedthejudge,withgraveandearnestsatisfaction。\"ItlooksasiftheCountLuigiwasinpossessionofthebatteryatthetimeoftheassault。\"

NothingfurtherwaselicitedfromMr。Buckstoneondirectexamination。

Mr。Wilsontookthewitness。

\"Mr。Buckstone,aboutwhattimewasitthatthatconversationtookplace?\"

\"Towardnineyesterdayevening,sir。\"

\"Didyouthenproceeddirectlytothehall?\"

\"Yes,sir。\"

\"Howlongdidittakeyoutogothere?\"

\"Well,wewalked;andasitwasfromtheextremeedgeofthetown,andtherewasnohurry,Ijudgeittookusabouttwentyminutes,maybeatriflemore。\"

\"Aboutwhathourwasthekickdelivered?\"

\"Aboutthirteenminutesandahalftoten。\"

\"Admirable!Youareapatternwitness,Mr。Buckstone。Howdidyouhappentolookatyourwatchatthatparticularmoment?\"

\"IalwaysdoitwhenIseeanassault。It’slikelyIshallbecalledasawitness,andit’sagoodpointtohave。\"

\"Itwouldbewellifotherswereasthoughtful。Wasanythingsaid,betweentheconversationatmyhouseandtheassault,uponthedetailwhichwearenowexamininginto?\"

\"No,sir。\"

\"Ifpoweroverthemutuallegswasinthepossessionofonebrotheratnine,andpassedintothepossessionoftheotheroneduringthenextthirtyorfortyminutes,doyouthinkyoucouldhavedetectedthechange?\"

\"Bynomeans!\"

\"Thatisall,Mr。Buckstone。\"

Mrs。PatsyCooperwascalled。Thecrowdmadewayforher,andshecamesmilingandbowingthroughthenarrowhumanlane,withBetsyHale,asescortandsupport,smilingandbowinginherwake,theaudiencebreakingintowelcomingcheersastheoldfavoritesfiledalong。Thejudgedidnotcheckthiskindlydemonstrationofhomageandaffection,butletitrunitscourseunrebuked。

Theoldladiesstoppedandshookhandswiththetwinswitheffusion,thengavethejudgeafriendlynod,andbustledintotheseatsprovidedforthem。Theyimmediatelybegantodeliveravolleyofeagerquestionsatthefriendsaroundthem:\"Whatisthisthingfor?\"\"Whatisthatthingfor?\"\"Whoisthatyoungmanthat’swritingatthedesk?Why,I

declare,it’sJackBunce!Ithoughthewassick。\"\"Whichisthejury?

Why,isthatthejury?BillyPriceandJobTurner,andJackLounsbury,and——well,Inever!\"\"Nowwhowouldever’a’thought——\"

Buttheyweregentlycalledtoorderatthispoint,andaskednottotalkincourt。Theirtonguesfellsilent,buttheradiantinterestintheirfacesremained,andtheirgratitudefortheblessingofanewsensationandanovelexperiencestillbeamedundimmedfromtheireyes。AuntPatsystoodupandtooktheoath,andMr。Allenexplainedthepointinissue,andaskedhertogoonnow,inherownway,andthrowasmuchlightuponitasshecould。Shetoyedwithherreticuleamomentortwo,asifconsideringwheretobegin,thenshesaid:

\"Well,thewayofitisthis。TheyareLuigi’slegsaweekatatime,andthentheyareAngelo’s,andhecandowhateverhewantstowiththem。\"

\"Youaremakingamistake,AuntPatsyCooper,\"saidthejudge。\"Youshouldn’tstatethatasafact,becauseyoudon’tknowittobeafact。\"

\"What’sthereasonIdon’t?\"saidAuntPatsy,bridlingalittle。

\"Whatisthereasonthatyoudoknowit?\"

\"Thebestintheworldbecausetheytoldme。\"

\"Thatisn’tareason。\"

\"Well,fortheland’ssake!BetsyHale,doyouhearthat?\"

\"Hearit?Ishouldthinkso,\"saidAuntBetsy,risingandfacingthecourt。\"Why,Judge,Iwasthereandhearditmyself。LuigisaystoAngelo——no,itwasAngelosaiditto——\"

\"Come,come,Mrs。Hale,praysitdown,and——\"

\"Certainly,it’sallright,I’mgoingtositdownpresently,butnotuntilI’ve——\"

\"Butyoumustsitdown!\"

\"Must!Well,uponmywordifthingsain’tgettingtoaprettypasswhen——\"

Thehousebrokeintolaughter,butwaspromptlybroughttoorder,andmeantimeMr。Allenpersuadedtheoldladytotakeherseat。AuntPatsycontinued:

\"Yes,theytoldmethat,andIknowit’strue。They’reLuigi’slegsthisweek,but——\"

\"Ah,theytoldyouthat,didthey?\"saidtheJustice,withinterest。

\"Well,no,Idon’tknowthattheytoldme,butthat’sneitherherenorthere。Iknow,withoutthat,thatatdinneryesterday,Angelowasastiredasadog,andyetLuigiwouldn’tlendhimthelegstogoup-stairsandtakeanapwith。\"

\"Didheaskforthem?\"

\"Letmesee——itseemstome,somehow,that——that——AuntBetsy,doyourememberwhetherhe——\"

\"NevermindaboutwhatAuntBetsyremembers——sheisnotawitness;weonlywanttoknowwhatyourememberyourself,\"saidthejudge。

\"Well,itdoesseemto,methatyouaremostcantankerouslyparticularaboutalittlething,SimRobinson。Why,whenIcan’trememberathingmyself,Ialways——\"

\"Ah,pleasegoon!\"

\"Nowhowcanshewhenyoukeepfussingatherallthetime?\"saidAuntBetsy。\"Why,withapersonpeckingatmethatway,Ishouldgetthatfuzzledandfuddledthat——\"

Shewasonherfeetagain,butAllencoaxedherintoherseatoncemore,whilethecourtsquelchedthemirthofthehouse。Thenthejudgesaid:

\"Madam,doyouknow——doyouabsolutelyknow,independentlyofanythingthesegentlemenhavetoldyou——thatthepowerovertheirlegspassesfromtheonetotheotherregularlyeveryweek?\"

\"Regularly?Blessyourheart,regularlyain’tanynamefortheexactnessofit!AllthebigcitiesinEuropeusedtosettheclocksbyit。\"

(Laughter,suppressedbythecourt。)

\"Howdoyouknow?Thatisthequestion。Pleaseansweritplainlyandsquarely。\"