第4章

\"Poorthing,Iamkillingher!Andnowgentlemen,itistimetogo。\"

Tenminutesafter,GastonandIleftthehouse。Margueriteshookhandswithmeandsaidgood-bye。Prudenceremainedbehind。

\"Well,\"saidGaston,whenwewereinthestreet,\"whatdoyouthinkofMarguerite?\"

\"Sheisanangel,andIammadlyinlovewithher。\"\"SoI

guessed;didyoutellherso?\"

\"Yes。\"

\"Anddidshepromisetobelieveyou?\"

\"No。\"

\"SheisnotlikePrudence。\"

\"Didshepromiseto?\"

\"Betterstill,mydearfellow。Youwouldn\'tthinkit;butsheisstillnothalfbad,pooroldDuvernoy!\"

Chapter11

AtthispointArmandstopped。

\"Wouldyouclosethewindowforme?\"hesaid。\"Iambeginningtofeelcold。Meanwhile,Iwillgetintobed。\"

Iclosedthewindow。Armand,whowasstillveryweak,tookoffhisdressing-gownandlaydowninbed,restinghisheadforafewmomentsonthepillow,likeamanwhoistiredbymuchtalkingordisturbedbypainfulmemories。

\"Perhapsyouhavebeentalkingtoomuch,\"Isaidtohim。\"Wouldyouratherformetogoandleaveyoutosleep?Youcantellmetherestofthestoryanotherday。\"

\"Areyoutiredoflisteningtoit?\"

\"Quitethecontrary。\"

\"ThenIwillgoon。Ifyouleftmealone,Ishouldnotsleep。\"

WhenIreturnedhome(hecontinued,withoutneedingtopauseandrecollecthimself,sofreshwereallthedetailsinhismind),I

didnotgotobed,butbegantoreflectovertheday\'sadventure。

Themeeting,theintroduction,thepromiseofMarguerite,hadfollowedoneanothersorapidly,andsounexpectedly,thatthereweremomentswhenitseemedtomeIhadbeendreaming。

Nevertheless,itwasnotthefirsttimethatagirllikeMargueritehadpromisedherselftoamanonthemorrowofthedayonwhichhehadaskedforthepromise。

Though,indeed,Imadethisreflection,thefirstimpressionproducedonmebymyfuturemistresswassostrongthatitstillpersisted。Irefusedobstinatelytoseeinherawomanlikeotherwomen,and,withthevanitysocommontoallmen,Iwasreadytobelievethatshecouldnotbutsharetheattractionwhichdrewmetoher。

Yet,Ihadbeforemeplentyofinstancestothecontrary,andI

hadoftenheardthattheaffectionofMargueritewasathingtobehadmoreorlessdear,accordingtotheseason。

But,ontheotherhand,howwasItoreconcilethisreputationwithherconstantrefusaloftheyoungcountwhomwehadfoundatherhouse?Youmaysaythathewasunattractivetoher,andthat,asshewassplendidlykeptbytheduke,shewouldbemorelikelytochooseamanwhowasattractivetoher,ifsheweretotakeanotherlover。Ifso,whydidshenotchooseGaston,whowasrich,witty,andcharming,andwhydidshecareforme,whomshehadthoughtsoridiculousthefirsttimeshehadseenme?

Itistruethatthereareeventsofamomentwhichtellmorethanthecourtshipofayear。Ofthosewhowereatthesupper,Iwastheonlyonewhohadbeenconcernedatherleavingthetable。I

hadfollowedher,Ihadbeensoaffectedastobeunabletohideitfromher,IhadweptasIkissedherhand。Thiscircumstance,addedtomydailyvisitsduringthetwomonthsofherillness,mighthaveshownherthatIwassomewhatdifferentfromtheothermensheknew,andperhapsshehadsaidtoherselfthatforalovewhichcouldthusmanifestitselfshemightwelldowhatshehaddonesooftenthatithadnomoreconsequenceforher。

Allthesesuppositions,asyoumaysee,wereimprobableenough;

butwhatevermighthavebeenthereasonofherconsent,onethingwascertain,shehadconsented。

Now,IwasinlovewithMarguerite。Ihadnothingmoretoaskofher。Nevertheless,thoughshewasonlyakeptwoman,Ihadsoanticipatedformyself,perhapstopoetizeitalittle,ahopelesslove,thatthenearerthemomentapproachedwhenI

shouldhavenothingmoretohope,themoreIdoubted。Ididnotclosemyeyesallnight。

Iscarcelyknewmyself。Iwashalfdemented。Now,Iseemedtomyselfnothandsomeorrichorelegantenoughtopossesssuchawoman,nowIwasfilledwithvanityatthethoughtofit;thenI

begantofearlestMargueritehadnomorethanafewdays\'

capriceforme,andIsaidtomyselfthatsinceweshouldsoonhavetopart,itwouldbebetternottokeepherappointment,buttowriteandtellhermyfearsandleaveher。FromthatIwentontounlimitedhope,unboundedconfidence。Idreamedincredibledreamsofthefuture;Isaidtomyselfthatsheshouldowetomehermoralandphysicalrecovery,thatIshouldspendmywholelifewithher,andthatherloveshouldmakemehappierthanallthemaidenlylovesintheworld。

ButIcannotrepeattoyouthethousandthoughtsthatrosefrommyhearttomyhead,andthatonlyfadedawaywiththesleepthatcametomeatdaybreak。

WhenIawokeitwastwoo\'clock。Theweatherwassuperb。Idon\'tthinklifeeverseemedtomesobeautifulandsofullofpossibilities。Thememoriesofthenightbeforecametomewithoutshadoworhindrance,escortedgailybythehopesofthenighttocome。Fromtimetotimemyheartleapedwithloveandjoyinmybreast。Asweetfeverthrilledme。IthoughtnomoreofthereasonswhichhadfilledmymindbeforeIslept。Isawonlytheresult,IthoughtonlyofthehourwhenIwastoseeMargueriteagain。

Itwasimpossibletostayindoors。Myroomseemedtoosmalltocontainmyhappiness。Ineededthewholeofnaturetounbosommyself。

Iwentout。PassingbytheRued\'Antin,IsawMarguerite\'scoupe\'

waitingforheratthedoor。IwenttowardtheChamps-Elysees。I

lovedallthepeoplewhomImet。Lovegivesoneakindofgoodness。

AfterIhadbeenwalkingforanhourfromtheMarlyhorsestotheRond-Point,IsawMarguerite\'scarriageinthedistance;I

divinedratherthanrecognisedit。AsitwasturningthecorneroftheChamps-Elyseesitstopped,andatallyoungmanleftagroupofpeoplewithwhomhewastalkingandcameuptoher。Theytalkedforafewmoments;theyoungmanreturnedtohisfriends,thehorsessetoutagain,andasIcamenearthegroupI

recognisedtheonewhohadspokentoMargueriteastheComtedeG。,whoseportraitIhadseenandwhomPrudencehadindicatedtomeasthemantowhomMargueriteowedherposition。Itwastohimthatshehadclosedherdoorsthenightbefore;Iimaginedthatshehadstoppedhercarriageinordertoexplaintohimwhyshehaddoneso,andIhopedthatatthesametimeshehadfoundsomenewpretextfornotreceivinghimonthefollowingnight。

HowIspenttherestofthedayIdonotknow;Iwalked,smoked,talked,butwhatIsaid,whomImet,Ihadutterlyforgottenbyteno\'clockintheevening。

AllIrememberisthatwhenIreturnedhome,Ispentthreehoursovermytoilet,andIlookedatmywatchandmyclockahundredtimes,whichunfortunatelybothpointedtothesamehour。

Whenitstruckhalfpastten,Isaidtomyselfthatitwastimetogo。

IlivedatthattimeintheRuedeProvence;IfollowedtheRueduMont-Blanc,crossedtheBoulevard,wentuptheRueLouis-le-Grand,theRuedePort-Mahon,andtheRued\'Antin。I

lookedupatMarguerite\'swindows。Therewasalight。Irang。I

askedtheporterifMlle。Gautierwasathome。Herepliedthatshenevercameinbeforeelevenoraquarterpasteleven。I

lookedatmywatch。Iintendedtocomequiteslowly,andIhadcomeinfiveminutesfromtheRuedeProvencetotheRued\'Antin。

Iwalkedtoandfrointhestreet;therearenoshops,andatthathouritisquitedeserted。Inhalfanhour\'stimeMargueritearrived。Shelookedaroundherasshegotdownfromhercoupe\',asifshewerelookingforsomeone。Thecarriagedroveoff;thestableswerenotatthehouse。JustasMargueritewasgoingtoring,Iwentuptoherandsaid,\"Good-evening。\"

\"Ah,itisyou,\"shesaid,inatonethatbynomeansreassuredmeastoherpleasureinseeingme。

\"DidyounotpromisemethatImightcomeandseeyouto-day?\"

\"Quiteright。Ihadforgotten。\"

ThiswordupsetallthereflectionsIhadhadduringtheday。

Nevertheless,Iwasbeginningtogetusedtoherways,andIdidnotleaveher,asIshouldcertainlyhavedoneonce。Weentered。

Naninehadalreadyopenedthedoor。

\"HasPrudencecome?\"saidMarguerite。

\"No,madame。\"

\"Saythatsheistobeadmittedassoonasshecomes。Butfirstputoutthelampinthedrawing-room,andifanyonecomes,saythatIhavenotcomebackandshallnotbecomingback。\"

Shewaslikeawomanwhoispreoccupiedwithsomething,andperhapsannoyedbyanunwelcomeguest。Ididnotknowwhattodoorsay。Margueritewenttowardherbedroom;IremainedwhereI

was。

\"Come,\"shesaid。

Shetookoffherhatandhervelvetcloakandthrewthemonthebed,thenletherselfdropintoagreatarmchairbesidethefire,whichshekepttilltheverybeginningofsummer,andsaidtomeasshefingeredherwatch-chain:

\"Well,whatnewshaveyougotforme?\"

\"None,exceptthatIoughtnottohavecometo-night。\"

\"Why?\"

\"Becauseyouseemvexed,andnodoubtIamboringyou。\"

\"Youarenotboringme;onlyIamnotwell;Ihavebeensufferingallday。Icouldnotsleep,andIhaveafrightfulheadache。\"

\"ShallIgoawayandletyougotobed?\"

\"Oh,youcanstay。IfIwanttogotobedIdon\'tmindyourbeinghere。\"

Atthatmomenttherewasaring。

\"Whoiscomingnow?\"shesaid,withanimpatientmovement。

Afewminutesaftertherewasanotherring。

\"Isn\'tthereanyonetogotothedoor?Ishallhavetogo。\"Shegotupandsaidtome,\"Waithere。\"

Shewentthroughtherooms,andIheardheropentheouterdoor。

Ilistened。

Thepersonwhomshehadadmitteddidnotcomefartherthanthedining-room。AtthefirstwordIrecognisedthevoiceoftheyoungComtedeN。

\"Howareyouthisevening?\"hesaid。

\"Notwell,\"repliedMargueritedrily。

\"AmIdisturbingyou?\"

\"Perhaps。

\"Howyoureceiveme!WhathaveIdone,mydearMarguerite?\"

\"Mydearfriend,youhavedonenothing。Iamill;Imustgotobed,soyouwillbegoodenoughtogo。Itissickeningnottobeabletoreturnatnightwithoutyourmakingyourappearancefiveminutesafterward。Whatisityouwant?Formetobeyourmistress?Well,Ihavealreadytoldyouahundredtimes,No;yousimplyworryme,andyoumightaswellgosomewhereelse。I

repeattoyouto-day,forthelasttime,Idon\'twanttohaveanythingtodowithyou;that\'ssettled。Good-bye。Here\'sNaninecomingin;shecanlightyoutothedoor。Good-night。\"

Withoutaddinganotherword,orlisteningtowhattheyoungmanstammeredout,Margueritereturnedtotheroomandslammedthedoor。Nanineenteredamomentafter。

\"Nowunderstand,\"saidMarguerite,\"youarealwaystosaytothatidiotthatIamnotin,orthatIwillnotseehim。Iamtiredoutwithseeingpeoplewhoalwayswantthesamething;whopaymeforit,andthenthinktheyarequitofme。Ifthosewhoaregoingtogoinforourhatefulbusinessonlyknewwhatitreallywastheywouldsoonerbechambermaids。Butno,vanity,thedesireofhavingdressesandcarriagesanddiamondscarriesusaway;onebelieveswhatonehears,forhere,aselsewhere,thereissuchathingasbelief,andoneusesupone\'sheart,one\'sbody,one\'sbeauty,littlebylittle;oneisfearedlikeabeastofprey,scornedlikeapariah,surroundedbypeoplewhoalwaystakemorethantheygive;andonefinedayonedieslikeadoginaditch,afterhavingruinedothersandruinedone\'sself。\"

\"Come,come,madame,becalm,\"saidNanine;\"yournervesareabitupsetto-night。\"

\"Thisdressworriesme,\"continuedMarguerite,unhookingherbodice;\"givemeadressing-gown。Well,andPrudence?\"

\"Shehasnotcomeyet,butIwillsendhertoyou,madame,themomentshecomes。\"

\"There\'sone,now,\"Margueritewenton,asshetookoffherdressandputonawhitedressing-gown,\"there\'sonewhoknowsverywellhowtofindmewhensheisinwantofme,andyetshecan\'tdomeaservicedecently。SheknowsIamwaitingforananswer。

SheknowshowanxiousIam,andIamsuresheisgoingaboutonherownaccount,withoutgivingathoughttome。\"

\"Perhapsshehadtowait。\"

\"Letushavesomepunch。\"

\"Itwilldoyounogood,madame,\"saidNanine。

\"Somuchthebetter。Bringsomefruit,too,andapateorawingofchicken;somethingorother,atonce。Iamhungry。\"

NeedItellyoutheimpressionwhichthisscenemadeuponme,orcanyounotimagineit?

\"Youaregoingtohavesupperwithme,\"shesaidtome;

\"meanwhile,takeabook。Iamgoingintomydressing-roomforamoment。\"

Shelitthecandlesofacandelabra,openedadooratthefootofthebed,anddisappeared。

Ibegantothinkoverthispoorgirl\'slife,andmyloveforherwasmingledwithagreatpity。Iwalkedtoandfrointheroom,thinkingoverthings,whenPrudenceentered。

\"Ah,youhere?\"\'shesaid,\"whereisMarguerite?\"

\"Inherdressing-room。\"

\"Iwillwait。Bytheway,doyouknowshethinksyoucharming?\"

\"No。\"

\"Shehasn\'ttoldyou?\"

\"Notatall。\"

\"Howareyouhere?\"

\"Ihavecometopayheravisit。\"

\"Atmidnight?\"

\"Whynot?\"

\"Farceur!\"

\"Shehasreceivedme,asamatteroffact,verybadly。\"

\"Shewillreceiveyoubetterbyandbye。\"

\"Doyouthinkso?\"

\"Ihavesomegoodnewsforher。\"

\"Noharminthat。Soshehasspokentoyouaboutme?\"

\"Lastnight,orratherto-night,whenyouandyourfriendwent。

Bytheway,whatisyourfriendcalled?GastonR。,hisnameis,isn\'tit?\"

\"Yes,\"saidI,notwithoutsmiling,asIthoughtofwhatGastonhadconfidedtome,andsawthatPrudencescarcelyevenknewhisname。

\"Heisquitenice,thatfellow;whatdoeshedo?\"

\"Hehastwenty-fivethousandfrancsayear。\"

\"Ah,indeed!Well,toreturntoyou。Margueriteaskedmeallaboutyou:whoyouwere,whatyoudid,whatmistressesyouhadhad;inshort,everythingthatonecouldaskaboutamanofyourage。ItoldherallIknew,andaddedthatyouwereacharmingyoungman。That\'sall。\"

\"Thanks。Nowtellmewhatitwasshewantedtosaytoyoulastnight。\"

\"Nothingatall。Itwasonlytogetridofthecount;butIhavereallysomethingtoseeheraboutto-day,andIambringingherananswernow。\"

AtthismomentMargueritereappearedfromherdressing-room,wearingacoquettishlittlenightcapwithbunchesofyellowribbons,technicallyknownas\"cabbages。\"Shelookedravishing。

Shehadsatinslippersonherbarefeet,andwasintheactofpolishinghernails。

\"Well,\"shesaid,seeingPrudence,\"haveyouseentheduke?\"

\"Yes,indeed。\"

\"Andwhatdidhesaytoyou?\"

\"Hegaveme——\"

\"Howmuch?\"

\"Sixthousand。\"

\"Haveyougotit?\"

\"Yes。

\"Didheseemputout?\"

\"No。\"

\"Poorman!\"

This\"Poorman!\"wassaidinatoneimpossibletorender。

Margueritetookthesixnotesofathousandfrancs。

\"Itwasquitetime,\"shesaid。\"MydearPrudence,areyouinwantofanymoney?\"

\"Youknow,mychild,itisthe15thinacoupleofdays,soifyoucouldlendmethreeorfourhundredfrancs,youwoulddomearealservice。\"

\"Sendoverto-morrow;itistoolatetogetchangenow。\"

\"Don\'tforget。\"

\"Nofear。Willyouhavesupperwithus?\"

\"No,Charlesiswaitingforme。\"

\"Youarestilldevotedtohim?\"

\"Crazy,mydear!Iwillseeyouto-morrow。Good-bye,Armand。\"

Mme。Duvernoywentout。

Margueriteopenedthedrawerofaside-tableandthrewthebank-notesintoit。

\"Willyoupermitmetogetintobed?\"shesaidwithasmile,asshemovedtowardthebed。

\"Notonlypermit,butIbegofyou。\"

Sheturnedbackthecoveringandgotintobed。

\"Now,\"saidshe,\"comeandsitdownbyme,andlet\'shaveatalk。\"

Prudencewasright:theanswerthatshehadbroughttoMargueritehadputherintoagoodhumour。

\"Willyouforgivemeformybadtempertonight?\"shesaid,takingmyhand。

\"Iamreadytoforgiveyouasoftenasyoulike。\"

\"Andyouloveme?\"

\"Madly。\"

\"Inspiteofmybaddisposition?\"

\"Inspiteofall。\"

\"Youswearit?\"

\"Yes,\"Isaidinawhisper。

Nanineentered,carryingplates,acoldchicken,abottleofclaret,andsomestrawberries。

\"Ihaven\'thadanypunchmade,\"saidNanine;\"claretisbetterforyou。Isn\'tit,sir?\"

\"Certainly,\"Ireplied,stillundertheexcitementofMarguerite\'slastwords,myeyesfixedardentlyuponher。

\"Good,\"saidshe;\"putitallonthelittletable,anddrawituptothebed;wewillhelpourselves。Thisisthethirdnightyouhavesatup,andyoumustbeinwantofsleep。Gotobed。Idon\'twantanythingmore。\"

\"ShallIlockthedoor?\"

\"Ishouldthinkso!Andaboveall,tellthemnottoadmitanybodybeforemidday。\"

Chapter12

Atfiveo\'clockinthemorning,asthelightbegantoappearthroughthecurtains,Margueritesaidtome:\"ForgivemeifI

sendyouaway;butImust。Thedukecomeseverymorning;theywilltellhim,whenhecomes,thatIamasleep,andperhapshewillwaituntilIwake。\"

ItookMarguerite\'sheadinmyhands;herloosenedhairstreamedabouther;Igaveheralastkiss,saying:\"WhenshallIseeyouagain?\"

\"Listen,\"shesaid;\"takethelittlegiltkeyonthemantelpiece,openthatdoor;bringmebackthekeyandgo。Inthecourseofthedayyoushallhavealetter,andmyorders,foryouknowyouaretoobeyblindly。\"

\"Yes;butifIshouldalreadyaskforsomething?\"

\"What?\"

\"Letmehavethatkey。\"

\"WhatyouaskisathingIhaveneverdoneforanyone。\"

\"Well,doitforme,forIsweartoyouthatIdon\'tloveyouastheothershavelovedyou。\"

\"Well,keepit;butitonlydependsonmetomakeituselesstoyou,afterall。\"

\"How?\"

\"Thereareboltsonthedoor。\"

\"Wretch!\"

\"Iwillhavethemtakenoff。\"

\"Youlove,then,alittle?\"

\"Idon\'tknowhowitis,butitseemstomeasifIdo!Now,go;

Ican\'tkeepmyeyesopen。\"

Iheldherinmyarmsforafewsecondsandthenwent。

Thestreetswereempty,thegreatcitywasstillasleep,asweetfreshnesscirculatedinthestreetsthatafewhourslaterwouldbefilledwiththenoiseofmen。Itseemedtomeasifthissleepingcitybelongedtome;IsearchedmymemoryforthenamesofthosewhosehappinessIhadonceenvied;andIcouldnotrecallonewithoutfindingmyselfthehappier。

Tobelovedbyapureyounggirl,tobethefirsttorevealtoherthestrangemysteryoflove,isindeedagreathappiness,butitisthesimplestthingintheworld。Totakecaptiveaheartwhichhashadnoexperienceofattack,istoenteranunfortifiedandungarrisonedcity。Education,familyfeeling,thesenseofduty,thefamily,arestrongsentinels,buttherearenosentinelssovigilantasnottobedeceivedbyagirlofsixteentowhomnature,bythevoiceofthemansheloves,givesthefirstcounselsoflove,allthemoreardentbecausetheyseemsopure。

Themoreagirlbelievesingoodness,themoreeasilywillshegiveway,ifnottoherlover,atleasttolove,forbeingwithoutmistrustsheiswithoutforce,andtowinherloveisatriumphthatcanbegainedbyanyyoungmanoffive-and-twenty。

Seehowyounggirlsarewatchedandguarded!Thewallsofconventsarenothighenough,mothershavenolocksstrongenough,religionhasnodutiesconstantenough,toshutthesecharmingbirdsintheircages,cagesnotevenstrewnwithflowers。Thenhowsurelymusttheydesiretheworldwhichishiddenfromthem,howsurelymusttheyfindittempting,howsurelymusttheylistentothefirstvoicewhichcomestotellitssecretsthroughtheirbars,andblessthehandwhichisthefirsttoraiseacornerofthemysteriousveil!

Buttobereallylovedbyacourtesan:thatisavictoryofinfinitelygreaterdifficulty。Withthemthebodyhaswornoutthesoul,thesenseshaveburneduptheheart,dissipationhasbluntedthefeelings。Theyhavelongknownthewordsthatwesaytothem,themeansweuse;theyhavesoldthelovethattheyinspire。Theylovebyprofession,andnotbyinstinct。Theyareguardedbetterbytheircalculationsthanavirginbyhermotherandherconvent;andtheyhaveinventedthewordcapriceforthatunbarteredlovewhichtheyallowthemselvesfromtimetotime,forarest,foranexcuse,foraconsolation,likeusurers,whocheatathousand,andthinktheyhaveboughttheirownredemptionbyoncelendingasovereigntoapoordevilwhoisdyingofhungerwithoutaskingforinterestorareceipt。

Then,whenGodallowslovetoacourtesan,thatlove,whichatfirstseemslikeapardon,becomesforheralmostwithoutpenitence。Whenacreaturewhohasallherpasttoreproachherselfwithistakenallatoncebyaprofound,sincere,irresistiblelove,ofwhichshehadneverfeltherselfcapable;

whenshehasconfessedherlove,howabsolutelythemanwhomshelovesdominatesher!Howstronghefeelswithhiscruelrighttosay:Youdonomoreforlovethanyouhavedoneformoney。Theyknownotwhatprooftogive。Achild,saysthefable,havingoftenamusedhimselfbycrying\"Help!awolf!\"inordertodisturbthelabourersinthefield,wasonedaydevouredbyaWolf,becausethosewhomhehadsooftendeceivednolongerbelievedinhiscriesforhelp。Itisthesamewiththeseunhappywomenwhentheyloveseriously。Theyhaveliedsooftenthatnoonewillbelievethem,andinthemidstoftheirremorsetheyaredevouredbytheirlove。

Hencethosegreatdevotions,thoseaustereretreatsfromtheworld,ofwhichsomeofthemhavegivenanexample。

Butwhenthemanwhoinspiresthisredeemingloveisgreatenoughinsoultoreceiveitwithoutrememberingthepast,whenhegiveshimselfuptoit,when,inshort,helovesasheisloved,thismandrainsatonedraughtallearthlyemotions,andaftersuchalovehisheartwillbeclosedtoeveryother。

IdidnotmakethesereflectionsonthemorningwhenIreturnedhome。Theycouldbuthavebeenthepresentimentofwhatwastohappentome,and,despitemyloveforMarguerite,Ididnotforeseesuchconsequences。Imakethesereflectionsto-day。Nowthatallisirrevocablyended,theyarisenaturallyoutofwhathastakenplace。

Buttoreturntothefirstdayofmyliaison。WhenIreachedhomeIwasinastateofmadgaiety。AsIthoughtofhowthebarrierswhichmyimaginationhadplacedbetweenMargueriteandmyselfhaddisappeared,ofhowshewasnowmine;oftheplaceInowhadinherthoughts,ofthekeytoherroomwhichIhadinmypocket,andofmyrighttousethiskey,Iwassatisfiedwithlife,proudofmyself,andIlovedGodbecausehehadletsuchthingsbe。

Onedayayoungmanispassinginthestreet,hebrushesagainstawoman,looksather,turns,goesonhisway。Hedoesnotknowthewoman,andshehaspleasures,griefs,loves,inwhichhehasnopart。Hedoesnotexistforher,andperhaps,ifhespoketoher,shewouldonlylaughathim,asMargueritehadlaughedatme。Weeks,months,yearspass,andallatonce,whentheyhaveeachfollowedtheirfatealongadifferentpath,thelogicofchancebringsthemfacetoface。Thewomanbecomestheman\'smistressandloveshim。How?why?Theirtwoexistencesarehenceforthone;theyhavescarcelybeguntoknowoneanotherwhenitseemsasiftheyhadknownoneanotheralways,andallthathadgonebeforeiswipedoutfromthememoryofthetwolovers。

Itiscurious,onemustadmit。

Asforme,InolongerrememberedhowIhadlivedbeforethatnight。Mywholebeingwasexaltedintojoyatthememoryofthewordswehadexchangedduringthatfirstnight。EitherMargueritewasverycleverindeception,orshehadconceivedformeoneofthosesuddenpassionswhicharerevealedinthefirstkiss,andwhichdie,oftenenough,assuddenlyastheywereborn。

ThemoreIreflectedthemoreIsaidtomyselfthatMargueritehadnoreasonforfeigningalovewhichshedidnotfeel,andI

saidtomyselfalsothatwomenhavetwowaysofloving,oneofwhichmayarisefromtheother:theylovewiththeheartorwiththesenses。Oftenawomantakesaloverinobediencetothemerewillofthesenses,andlearnswithoutexpectingitthemysteryofimmateriallove,andliveshenceforthonlythroughherheart;

oftenagirlwhohassoughtinmarriageonlytheunionoftwopureaffectionsreceivesthesuddenrevelationofphysicallove,thatenergeticconclusionofthepurestimpressionsofthesoul。

InthemidstofthesethoughtsIfellasleep;IwasawakenedbyaletterfromMargueritecontainingthesewords:

\"Herearemyorders:To-nightattheVaudeville。

\"Comeduringthethirdentr\'acte。\"

Iputtheletterintoadrawer,sothatImightalwayshaveitatbandincaseIdoubteditsreality,asIdidfromtimetotime。

Shedidnottellmetocometoseeherduringtheday,andI

darednotgo;butIhadsogreatadesiretoseeherbeforetheeveningthatIwenttotheChamps-Elysees,whereIagainsawherpassandrepass,asIhadonthepreviousday。

Atseveno\'clockIwasattheVaudeville。NeverhadIgonetoatheatresoearly。Theboxesfilledoneafteranother。Onlyoneremainedempty,thestagebox。AtthebeginningofthethirdactIheardthedoorofthebox,onwhichmyeyeshadbeenalmostconstantlyfixed,open,andMargueriteappeared。Shecametothefrontatonce,lookedaroundthestalls,sawme,andthankedmewithalook。

Thatnightshewasmarvellouslybeautiful。WasIthecauseofthiscoquetry?DidshelovemeenoughtobelievethatthemorebeautifulshelookedthehappierIshouldbe?Ididnotknow,butifthathadbeenherintentionshecertainlysucceeded,forwhensheappearedallheadsturned,andtheactorwhowasthenonthestagelookedtoseewhohadproducedsuchaneffectontheaudiencebyhermerepresencethere。

AndIhadthekeyofthiswoman\'sroom,andinthreeorfourhoursshewouldagainbemine!

Peopleblamethosewholetthemselvesberuinedbyactressesandkeptwomen;whatastonishesmeisthattwentytimesgreaterfolliesarenotcommittedforthem。Onemusthavelivedthatlife,asIhave,toknowhowmuchthelittlevanitieswhichtheyaffordtheirloverseverydayhelptofastendeeperintotheheart,sincewehavenootherwordforit,thelovewhichhehasforthem。

Prudencenexttookherplaceinthebox,andaman,whomI

recognisedastheComtedeG。,seatedhimselfattheback。AsI

sawhim,acoldshiverwentthroughmyheart。

DoubtlessMargueriteperceivedtheimpressionmadeonmebythepresenceofthisman,forshesmiledtomeagain,and,turningherbacktothecount,appearedtobeveryattentivetotheplay。

Atthethirdentr\'actesheturnedandsaidtwowords:thecountleftthebox,andMargueritebeckonedtometocometoher。

\"Good-evening,\"shesaidasIentered,holdingoutherhand。

\"Good-evening,\"IrepliedtobothMargueriteandPrudence。

\"Sitdown。\"

\"ButIamtakingsomeone\'splace。Isn\'ttheComtedeG。comingback?\"

\"Yes;Isenthimtofetchsomesweets,sothatwecouldtalkbyourselvesforamoment。Mme。Duvernoyisinthesecret。\"

\"Yes,mychildren,\"saidshe;\"havenofear。Ishallsaynothing。\"

\"Whatisthematterwithyouto-night?\"saidMarguerite,risingandcomingtothebackoftheboxandkissingmeontheforehead。

\"Iamnotverywell。\"

\"Youshouldgotobed,\"shereplied,withthatironicalairwhichwentsowellwithherdelicateandwittyface。

\"Where?\"

\"Athome。\"

\"YouknowthatIshouldn\'tbeabletosleepthere。\"

\"Well,then,itwon\'tdoforyoutocomeandbepettishherebecauseyouhaveseenamaninmybox。\"

\"Itisnotforthatreason。\"

\"Yes,itis。Iknow;andyouarewrong,soletussaynomoreaboutit。YouwillgobackwithPrudenceafterthetheatre,andyouwillstaytheretillIcall。Doyouunderstand?\"

\"Yes。\"

HowcouldIdisobey?

\"Youstillloveme?\"

\"Canyouask?\"

\"Youhavethoughtofme?\"

\"Alldaylong。\"

\"DoyouknowthatIamreallyafraidthatIshallgetveryfondofyou?AskPrudence。\"

\"Ah,\"saidshe,\"itisamazing!\"

\"Now,youmustgobacktoyourseat。Thecountwillbecomingback,andthereisnothingtobegainedbyhisfindingyouhere。\"

\"Becauseyoudon\'tlikeseeinghim。\"

\"No;onlyifyouhadtoldmethatyouwantedtocometotheVaudevilleto-nightIcouldhavegotthisboxforyouaswellashe。\"

\"Unfortunately,hegotitformewithoutmyaskinghim,andheaskedmetogowithhim;youknowwellenoughthatIcouldn\'trefuse。AllIcoulddowastowriteandtellyouwhereIwasgoing,sothatyoucouldseeme,andbecauseIwantedtoseeyoumyself;butsincethisisthewayyouthankme,Ishallprofitbythelesson。\"

\"Iwaswrong;forgiveme。\"

\"Wellandgood;andnowgobacknicelytoyourplace,and,aboveall,nomorejealousy。\"

Shekissedmeagain,andIleftthebox。InthepassageImetthecountcomingback。Ireturnedtomyseat。

Afterall,thepresenceofM。deG。inMarguerite\'sboxwasthemostnaturalthingintheworld。Hehadbeenherlover,hesentherabox,heaccompaniedhertothetheatre;itwasallquitenatural,andifIwastohaveamistresslikeMargueriteIshouldhavetogetusedtoherways。

Nonetheless,Iwasveryunhappyalltherestoftheevening,andwentawayverysadlyafterhavingseenPrudence,thecount,andMargueritegetintothecarriage,whichwaswaitingforthematthedoor。

However,aquarterofanhourlaterIwasatPrudence\'s。Shehadonlyjustgotin。

Chapter13

\"Youhavecomealmostasquicklyaswe,\"saidPrudence。

\"Yes,\"Iansweredmechanically。\"WhereisMarguerite?\"

\"Athome。\"

\"Alone?\"

\"WithM。deG。\"

Iwalkedtoandfrointheroom。

\"Well,whatisthematter?\"

\"DoyouthinkitamusesmetowaitheretillM。deG。leavesMarguerite\'s?\"

\"Howunreasonableyouare!Don\'tyouseethatMargueritecan\'tturnthecountoutofdoors?M。deG。hasbeenwithherforalongtime;hehasalwaysgivenheralotofmoney;hestilldoes。

Margueritespendsmorethanahundredthousandfrancsayear;shehasheapsofdebts。Thedukegivesherallthatsheasksfor,butshedoesnotalwaysventuretoaskhimforallthatsheisinwantof。Itwouldneverdoforhertoquarrelwiththecount,whoisworthtoheratleasttenthousandfrancsayear。Margueriteisveryfondofyou,mydearfellow,butyourliaisonwithher,inherinterestsandinyours,oughtnottobeserious。Youwithyoursevenoreightthousandfrancsayear,whatcouldyoudotowardsupplyingalltheluxurieswhichagirllikethatisinneedof?Itwouldnotbeenoughtokeephercarriage。TakeMargueriteforwhatsheis,foragood,bright,prettygirl;beherloverforamonth,twomonths;giveherflowers,sweets,boxesatthetheatre;butdon\'tgetanyotherideasintoyourhead,anddon\'tmakeabsurdscenesofjealousy。Youknowwhomyouhavetodowith;Margueriteisn\'tasaint。Shelikesyou,youareveryfondofher;lettherestalone。YouamazemewhenIseeyousotouchy;youhavethemostcharmingmistressinParis。Shereceivesyouinthegreateststyle,sheiscoveredwithdiamonds,sheneedn\'tcostyouapenny,unlessyoulike,andyouarenotsatisfied。Mydearfellow,youasktoomuch!\"

\"Youareright,butIcan\'thelpit;theideathatthatmanisherloverhurtsmehorribly。\"

\"Inthefirstplace,\"repliedPrudence;\"ishestillherlover?

Heisamanwhoisusefultoher,nothingmore。Shehasclosedherdoorstohimfortwodays;hecamethismorning——shecouldnotbutaccepttheboxandlethimaccompanyher。Hesawherhome;hehasgoneinforamoment,heisnotstaying,becauseyouarewaitinghere。Allthat,itseemstome,isquitenatural。

Besides,youdon\'tmindtheduke。\"

\"Yes;butheisanoldman,andIamsurethatMargueriteisnothismistress。Then,itisallverywelltoacceptoneliaison,butnottwo。Sucheasinessinthematterisverylikecalculation,andputsthemanwhoconsentstoit,evenoutoflove,verymuchinthecategoryofthosewho,inalowerstageofsociety,makeatradeoftheirconnivance,andaprofitoftheirtrade。\"

\"Ah,mydearfellow,howold-fashionedyouare!HowmanyoftherichestandmostfashionablemenofthebestfamiliesIhaveseenquitereadytodowhatIadviseyoutodo,andwithoutaneffort,withoutshame,withoutremorse,Why,oneseesiteveryday。HowdoyousupposethekeptwomeninPariscouldliveinthestyletheydo,iftheyhadnotthreeorfourloversatonce?Nosinglefortune,howeverlarge,couldsufficefortheexpensesofawomanlikeMarguerite。Afortuneoffivehundredthousandfrancsayearis,inFrance,anenormousfortune;well,mydearfriend,fivehundredthousandfrancsayearwouldstillbetoolittle,andforthisreason:amanwithsuchanincomehasalargehouse,horses,servants,carriages;heshoots,hasfriends,oftenheismarried,hehaschildren,heraces,gambles,travels,andwhatnot。Allthesehabitsaresomuchapartofhispositionthathecannotforegothemwithoutappearingtohavelostallhismoney,andwithoutcausingscandal。Takingitallround,withfivehundredthousandfrancsayearhecannotgiveawomanmorethanfortyorfiftythousandfrancsintheyear,andthatisalreadyagooddeal。Well,otherloversmakeupfortherestofherexpenses。

WithMarguerite,itisstillmoreconvenient;shehaschancedbyamiracleonanoldmanworthtenmillions,whosewifeanddaughteraredead;whohasonlysomenephews,themselvesrich,andwhogivesherallshewantswithoutaskinganythinginreturn。Butshecannotaskhimformorethanseventythousandfrancsayear;andIamsurethatifshedidaskformore,despitehishealthandtheaffectionhehasforherhewouldnotgiveittoher。

\"AlltheyoungmenoftwentyorthirtythousandfrancsayearatParis,thatistosay,menwhohaveonlyjustenoughtoliveoninthesocietyinwhichtheymix,knowperfectlywell,whentheyaretheloversofawomanlikeMarguerite,thatshecouldnotsomuchaspayfortheroomsshelivesinandtheservantswhowaituponherwithwhattheygiveher。Theydonotsaytoherthattheyknowit;theypretendnottoseeanything,andwhentheyhavehadenoughofittheygotheirway。Iftheyhavethevanitytowishtopayforeverythingtheygetruined,likethefoolstheyare,andgoandgetkilledinAfrica,afterleavingahundredthousandfrancsofdebtinParis。Doyouthinkawomanisgratefultothemforit?Farfromit。Shedeclaresthatshehassacrificedherpositionforthem,andthatwhileshewaswiththemshewaslosingmoney。Thesedetailsseemtoyoushocking?

Well,theyaretrue。Youareaverynicefellow;Ilikeyouverymuch。Ihavelivedwiththesewomenfortwentyyears;Iknowwhattheyareworth,andIdon\'twanttoseeyoutakethecapricethataprettygirlhasforyoutooseriously。

\"Then,besidesthat,\"continuedPrudence;\"admitthatMargueritelovesyouenoughtogiveupthecountortheduke,incaseoneofthemweretodiscoveryourliaisonandtotellhertochoosebetweenhimandyou,thesacrificethatshewouldmakeforyouwouldbeenormous,youcannotdenyit。Whatequalsacrificecouldyoumakeforher,onyourpart,andwhenyouhadgottiredofher,whatcouldyoudotomakeupforwhatyouhadtakenfromher?Nothing。Youwouldhavecutherofffromtheworldinwhichherfortuneandherfutureweretobefound;shewouldhavegivenyouherbestyears,andshewouldbeforgotten。Eitheryouwouldbeanordinaryman,and,castingherpastinherteeth,youwouldleaveher,tellingherthatyouwereonlydoinglikeherotherlovers,andyouwouldabandonhertocertainmisery;oryouwouldbeanhonestman,and,feelingboundtokeepherbyyou,youwouldbringinevitabletroubleuponyourself,foraliaisonwhichisexcusableinayoungman,isnolongerexcusableinamanofmiddleage。Itbecomesanobstacletoeverything;itallowsneitherfamilynorambition,man\'ssecondandlastloves。Believeme,then,myfriend,takethingsforwhattheyareworth,anddonotgiveakeptwomantherighttocallherselfyourcreditor,nomatterinwhat。\"

Itwaswellargued,withalogicofwhichIshouldhavethoughtPrudenceincapable。Ihadnothingtoreply,exceptthatshewasright;Itookherhandandthankedherforhercounsels。

\"Come,come,\"saidshe,\"putthesefoolishtheoriestoflight,andlaughoverthem。Lifeispleasant,mydearfellow;italldependsonthecolouroftheglassthroughwhichoneseesit。AskyourfriendGaston;there\'samanwhoseemstometounderstandloveasIunderstandit。Allthatyouneedthinkof,unlessyouarequiteafool,isthatclosebythereisabeautifulgirlwhoiswaitingimpatientlyforthemanwhoiswithhertogo,thinkingofyou,keepingthewholenightforyou,andwholovesyou,Iamcertain。Now,cometothewindowwithme,andletuswatchforthecounttogo;hewon\'tbelonginleavingthecoastclear。\"

Prudenceopenedthewindow,andweleanedsidebysideoverthebalcony。Shewatchedthefewpassers,Ireflected。Allthatshehadsaidbuzzedinmyhead,andIcouldnothelpfeelingthatshewasright;butthegenuinelovewhichIhadforMargueritehadsomedifficultyinaccommodatingitselftosuchabelief。I

sighedfromtimetotime,atwhichPrudenceturned,andshruggedhershoulderslikeaphysicianwhohasgivenuphispatient。

\"Howonerealizestheshortnessoflife,\"Isaidtomyself,\"bytherapidityofsensations!IhaveonlyknownMargueritefortwodays,shehasonlybeenmymistresssinceyesterday,andshehasalreadysocompletelyabsorbedmythoughts,myheart,andmylifethatthevisitoftheComtedeG。isamisfortuneforme。\"

Atlastthecountcameout,gotintohiscarriageanddisappeared。Prudenceclosedthewindow。AtthesameinstantMargueritecalledtous:

\"Comeatonce,\"shesaid;\"theyarelayingthetable,andwe\'llhavesupper。\"

WhenIentered,Margueriterantome,threwherarmsaroundmyneckandkissedmewithallhermight。

\"Arewestillsulky?\"shesaidtome。

\"No,itisallover,\"repliedPrudence。\"Ihavegivenhimatalkingto,andhehaspromisedtobereasonable。\"

\"Wellandgood。\"

InspiteofmyselfIglancedatthebed;itwasnotunmade。AsforMarguerite,shewasalreadyinherwhitedressing-gown。Wesatdowntotable。

Charm,sweetness,spontaneity,Margueritehadthemall,andIwasforcedfromtimetotimetoadmitthatIhadnorighttoaskofheranythingelse;thatmanypeoplewouldbeveryhappytobeinmyplace;andthat,likeVirgil\'sshepherd,Ihadonlytoenjoythepleasuresthatagod,orratheragoddess,setbeforeme。

ItriedtoputinpracticethetheoriesofPrudence,andtobeasgayasmytwocompanions;butwhatwasnaturalinthemwasonmypartaneffort,andthenervouslaughter,whosesourcetheydidnotdetect,wasnearertotearsthantomirth。

AtlastthesupperwasoverandIwasalonewithMarguerite。Shesatdownasusualonthehearthrugbeforethefireandgazedsadlyintotheflames。Whatwasshethinkingof?Iknownot。Asforme,Ilookedatherwithaminglingofloveandterror,asI

thoughtofallthatIwasreadytosufferforhersake。

\"DoyouknowwhatIamthinkingof?\"

\"No。\"

\"Ofaplanthathascomeintomyhead。\"

\"Andwhatisthisplan?\"

\"Ican\'ttellyouyet,butIcantellyouwhattheresultwouldbe。TheresultwouldbethatinamonthIshouldbefree,I

shouldhavenomoredebts,andwecouldgoandspendthesummerinthecountry。\"

\"Andyoucan\'ttellmebywhatmeans?\"

\"No,onlylovemeasIloveyou,andallwillsucceed。\"

\"Andhaveyoumadethisplanallbyyourself?\"

\"Yes。\"Andyouwillcarryitoutallbyyourself?\"

\"Ialoneshallhavethetroubleofit,\"saidMarguerite,withasmilewhichIshallneverforget,\"butweshallbothpartakeitsbenefits。\"

Icouldnothelpflushingatthewordbenefits;IthoughtofManonLescautsquanderingwithDesgrieuxthemoneyofM。deB。

Irepliedinahardvoice,risingfrommyseat:

\"Youmustpermitme,mydearMarguerite,toshareonlythebenefitsofthoseenterpriseswhichIhaveconceivedandcarriedoutmyself。\"

\"Whatdoesthatmean?\"

\"ItmeansthatIhaveastrongsuspicionthatM。deG。istobeyourassociateinthisprettyplan,ofwhichIcanacceptneitherthecostnorthebenefits\"Whatachildyouare!Ithoughtyoulovedme。Iwasmistaken;

allright。\"

Sherose,openedthepianoandbegantoplaytheInvitationalaValse,asfarasthefamouspassageinthemajorwhichalwaysstoppedher。Wasitthroughforceofhabit,orwasittoremindmeofthedaywhenwefirstmet?AllIknowisthatthemelodybroughtbackthatrecollection,and,cominguptoher,Itookherheadbetweenmyhandsandkissedher。\"Youforgiveme?\"Isaid。

\"YouseeIdo,\"sheanswered;\"butobservethatweareonlyatoursecondday,andalreadyIhavehadtoforgiveyousomething。