CHAPTERV
AndyettheBoyChiefwasnotentirelyhappy。Indeed，attimesheseriouslythoughtofacceptingtheinvitationextendedbytheGreatChiefatWashington，immediatelyafterthemassacreofthesoldiers，andoncemorerevisitingthehauntsofcivilization。Hissoulsickenedinfeverishinactivity；schoolmasterspalledonhistaste；hehadintroducedbaseball，blindhooky，marbles，andpeg-
topamonghisIndiansubjects，butonlywithindifferentsuccess。
Thesquawsinsistedinboringholesthroughthechinaalleysandwearingthemasnecklaces；hiswarriorsstuckspikesintheirbaseballbatsandmadewarclubsofthem。Hecouldnotbutfeel，too，thatthegentleMushymush，althoughdevotedtoherpale-facedbrother，wasdeficientinculinaryeducation。Hermincepieswereabominable；herjamfarinferiortothatmadebyhisAuntSallyofDoemville。OnlyanunexpectedincidentkepthimequallyfromtheextremeoflistlessSybariticindulgence，orofmorbidcynicism。
Indeed，attheageoftwelve，healreadyhadbecomedisgustedwithexistence。
Hehadreturnedtohiswigwamafteranexhaustingbuffalohuntinwhichhehadslaintwohundredandseventy-fivebuffaloswithhisownhand，notcountingtheindividualbuffaloonwhichhehadleapedsoastojointheherd，andwhichheafterwardledintothecampacaptiveandapresenttothelovelyMushymush。Hehadscalpedtwoexpressridersandacorrespondentofthe\"NewYorkHerald\"；haddespoiledtheOverlandMailStageofaquantityofvoucherswhichenabledhimtodrawdoublerationsfromthegovernment，andwasrecliningonabearskin，smokingandthinkingofthevanityofhumanendeavor，whenascoutentered，sayingthatapale-faceyouthhaddemandedaccesstohisperson。
\"Isheacommissioner？Ifso，saythattheredmanisrapidlypassingtothehappyhunting-groundsofhisfathers，andnowdesiresonlypeace，blankets，andammunition；obtainthelatterandthenscalpthecommissioner。\"
\"Butitisonlyayouthwhoasksaninterview。\"
\"Doeshelooklikeaninsuranceagent？Ifso，saythatIhavealreadypoliciesinthreeHartfordcompanies。Meanwhilepreparethestake，andseethatthesquawsarereadywiththeirimplementsoftorture。\"
Theyouthwasadmitted；hewasevidentlyonlyhalftheageoftheBoyChief。Asheenteredthewigwamandstoodrevealedtohishosttheybothstarted。Inanothermomenttheywerelockedineachother’sarms。
\"Jenky，oldboy！\"
\"Bromley，oldfel！\"
B。F。Jenkins，forsuchwasthenameoftheBoyChief，wasthefirsttorecoverhiscalmness。Turningtohiswarriorshesaid，proudly——
\"LetmychildrenretirewhileIspeaktotheagentofourGreatFatherinWashington。Hereafternolatchkeyswillbeprovidedforthewigwamsofthewarriors。Thepracticeoflatehoursmustbediscouraged。\"
\"How！\"saidthewarriors，andinstantlyretired。
\"Whisper，\"saidJenkins，drawinghisfriendaside；\"IamknownhereonlyastheBoyChiefofthe’Pigeontoes。’\"
\"AndI，\"saidBromleyChitterlings，proudly，\"amknowneverywhereasthePirateProdigy——theBoyAvengerofthePatagonianCoast。\"
\"Buthowcameyouhere？\"
\"Listen！Mypiratebrig，the’LivelyMermaid，’nowliesatMeiggs’sWharfinSanFrancisco，disguisedasaMendocinolumbervessel。MypiratecrewaccompaniedmehereinapalacecarfromSanFrancisco。\"
\"Itmusthavebeenexpensive，\"saidtheprudentJenkins。
\"Itwas，buttheydefrayeditbyacollectionfromtheotherpassengers——youunderstand，anenforcedcollection。Thepaperswillbefullofitto-morrow。Doyoutakethe’NewYorkSun’？\"
\"No；IdisliketheirIndianpolicy。Butwhyareyouhere？\"
\"Hearme，Jenk！’Tisalongandasadstory。ThelovelyElizaJ。
Sniffen，whofledwithmefromDoemville，wasseizedbyherparentsandtornfrommyarmsatNewRochelle。Reducedtopovertybythebreakingofthesavingsbankofwhichhewaspresident，——afailuretowhichIlargelycontributed，andtheprofitsofwhichI
enjoyed，——IhavesinceascertainedthatElizaJaneSniffenwasforcedtobecomeaschoolmistress，departedtotakechargeofaseminaryinColorado，andsincethenhasneverbeenheardfrom。\"
WhydidtheBoyChiefturnpale，andclutchatthetent-poleforsupport？Why，indeed！
\"ElizaJ。Sniffen，\"gaspedJenkins，\"agedfourteen，red-haired，withaslighttendencytostrabismus？\"
\"Thesame。\"
\"Heavenhelpme！Shediedbymymandate！\"
\"Traitor！\"shriekedChitterlings，rushingatJenkinswithadrawnponiard。
Butafigureinterposed。TheslightgirlishformofMushymushwithoutstretchedhandsstoodbetweentheexasperatedPirateProdigyandtheBoyChief。
\"Forbear，\"shesaidsternlytoChitterlings；\"youknownotwhatyoudo。\"
Thetwoyouthspaused。
\"Hearme，\"shesaidrapidly。\"Whencapturedinaconfectioner’sshopatNewRochelle，E。J。Sniffenwastakenbacktopoverty。Sheresolvedtobecomeaschoolmistress。HearingofanopeningintheWest，sheproceededtoColoradototakeexclusivechargeofthepensionnatofMad。Choflie，lateofParis。OnthewaythithershewascapturedbytheemissariesoftheBoyChief——\"
\"InconsummationofafatalvowImadenevertospareeducationalinstructors，\"interruptedJenkins。
\"Butinhercaptivity，\"continuedMushymush，\"shemanagedtostainherfacewithpoke-berryjuice，andminglingwiththeIndianmaidenswasenabledtopassforoneofthetribe。Onceundetected，sheboldlyingratiatedherselfwiththeBoyChief，——howhonestlyanddevotedlyhebestcantell，——forI，Mushymush，thelittlesisteroftheBoyChief，amElizaJaneSniffen。\"
ThePirateProdigyclaspedherinhisarms。TheBoyChief，raisinghishand，ejaculated：——
\"Blessyou，mychildren！\"
\"Thereisbutonethingwantingtocompletethisreunion，\"saidChitterlings，afterapause，butthehurriedentranceofascoutstoppedhisutterance。
\"AcommissionerfromtheGreatFatherinWashington。\"
\"Scalphim！\"shriekedtheBoyChief；\"thisisnotimefordiplomatictrifling。\"
\"Wehave，buthestillinsistsuponseeingyou，andhassentinhiscard。\"
TheBoyChieftookit，andreadaloud，inagonizedaccents：——
\"CharlesF。HallGolightly，latePageinUnitedStatesSenate，andActingCommissionerofUnitedStates。\"
Inanothermoment，Golightly，pale，bleeding，and，asitwere，prematurelybald，butstillcoldandintellectual，enteredthewigwam。Theyfelluponhisneckandbeggedhisforgiveness。
\"Don’tmentionit，\"hesaid，quietly；\"thesethingsmustandwillhappenunderourpresentsystemofgovernment。Mystoryisbrief。
Obtainingpoliticalinfluencethroughcaucuses，IbecameatlastPageintheSenate。ThroughtheexertionsofpoliticalfriendsI
wasappointedclerktothecommissionerwhosefunctionsInowrepresent。Knowingthroughpoliticalspiesinyourowncampwhoyouwere，Iacteduponthephysicalfearsofthecommissioner，whowasanex-clergyman，andeasilyinducedhimtodeputizemetoconsultwithyou。Indoingso，Ihavelostmyscalp，butasthehirsutesignsofjuvenilityhaveworkedagainstmypoliticalprogressIdonotregretit。AsapartiallybaldyoungmanIshallhavemorepower。ThetermsthatIhavetoofferaresimplythis：
youcandoeverythingyouwant，goanywhereyouchoose，ifyouwillonlyleavethisplace。Ihaveahundredthousand-dollardraftontheUnitedStatesTreasuryinmypocketatyourimmediatedisposal。\"
\"Butwhat’stobecomeofme？\"askedChitterlings。
\"Yourcasehasalreadybeenunderadvisement。TheSecretaryofState，whoisanintelligentman，isdeterminedtorecognizeyouasdejureanddefactotheonlyloyalrepresentativeofthePatagoniangovernment。YoumaysafelyproceedtoWashingtonasitsenvoyextraordinary。Idinewiththesecretarynextweek。\"
\"Andyourself，oldfellow？\"
\"IonlywishthattwentyyearsfromnowyouwillrecognizebyyourinfluenceandvotestherightsofC。F。H。Golightlytothepresidency。\"
Andhereendsourstory。Trustingthatmydearyoungfriendsmaytakewhateverexampleormoraltheirrespectiveparentsandguardiansmaydeemfittestfromthesepages，IhopeinfutureyearstoportrayfurtherthecareerofthosethreeyoungheroesIhavealreadyintroducedinthespring-timeoflifetotheircharitableconsideration。
THEMANWHOSEYOKEWASNOTEASY
Hewasaspareman，and，physically，anill-conditionedman，butatfirstglancescarcelyaseedyman。Theindicationsofreducedcircumstancesinthemaleofthebetterclassare，Ifancy，firstvisibleinthebootsandshirt；thebootsoffensivelyexhibitingadegreeofpolishinconsistentwiththeirdilapidatedcondition，andtheshirtshowinganextentofostentatioussurfacethatisinvariablyfataltothethreadbarewaist-coatthatitpartiallycovers。Hewasapaleman，and，Ifancied，stillpalerfromhisblackclothes。
Hehandedmeanote。
Itwasfromacertainphysician；amanofbroadcultureandbroaderexperience；amanwhohaddevotedthegreaterpartofhisactivelifetothealleviationofsorrowandsuffering；amanwhohadliveduptothenoblevowsofanobleprofession；amanwholockedinhishonorablebreastthesecretsofahundredfamilies，whosefacewasaskindly，whosetouchwasasgentle，inthewardsofthegreatpublichospitalsasitwasbesidethelacedcurtainsofthedyingNarcissa；amanwho，throughlongcontactwithsuffering，hadacquiredauniversaltendernessandbreadthofkindlyphilosophy；amanwho，dayandnight，wasatthebeckandcallofanguish；amanwhoneveraskedthecreed，belief，moralorworldlystandingofthesufferer，orevenhisabilitytopaythefewcoinsthatenabledhim（thephysician）toexistandpracticehiscalling；inbrief，amanwhosonearlyliveduptotheexampleoftheGreatMasterthatitseemsstrangeIamwritingofhimasadoctorofmedicineandnotofdivinity。
Thenotewasinpencil，characteristicallybrief，andranthus：——
\"HereisthemanIspokeof。Heoughttobegoodmaterialforyou。\"
ForamomentIsatlookingfromthenotetotheman，andsoundingthe\"dimperilousdepths\"ofmymemoryforthemeaningofthismysteriouscommunication。Thegood\"material，\"however，soonrelievedmyembarrassmentbyputtinghishandonhiswaistcoat，comingtowardme，andsaying，\"Itisjusthere，youcanfeelit。\"
Itwasnotnecessaryformetodoso。InaflashIrememberedthatmymedicalfriendhadtoldmeofacertainpoorpatient，onceasoldier，who，amonghisothertrialsanduncertainties，wasafflictedwithananeurismcausedbythebuckleofhisknapsackpressinguponthearchoftheaorta。Itwasliabletoburstatanyshockoranymoment。Thepoorfellow’syokehadindeedbeentooheavy。
InthepresenceofsuchatremendouspossibilityIthinkforaninstantIfeltanxiousonlyaboutmyself。WhatIshoulddo；howdisposeofthebody；howexplainthecircumstanceofhistakingoff；howevadetheubiquitousreporterandthecoroner’sinquest；
howasuspicionmightarisethatIhadinsomeway，throughnegligenceorforsomedarkpurpose，unknowntothejury，precipitatedthecatastrophe，allflashedbeforeme。Eventhenote，withitsdarklysuggestiveofferof\"goodmaterial\"forme，lookeddiabolicallysignificant。Whatmightnotanintelligentlawyermakeofit？
Itoreitupinstantly，andwithfeverishcourtesybeggedhimtobeseated。
\"Youdon’tcaretofeelit？\"heasked，alittleanxiously。
\"No。\"
\"Norseeit？\"
\"No。\"
Hesighed，atriflesadly，asifIhadrejectedtheonlyfavorhecouldbestow。Isawatoncethathehadbeenunderfrequentexhibitiontothedoctors，andthathewas，perhaps，atriflevainofthisattention。Thisperceptionwascorroboratedamomentlaterbyhisproducingacopyofamedicalmagazine，witharemarkthatonthesixthpageIwouldfindafullstatementofhiscase。
\"CouldIservehiminanyway？\"Iasked。
ItappearedthatIcould。IfIcouldhelphimtoanylightemployment，somethingthatdidnotrequireanygreatphysicalexertionormentalexcitement，hewouldbethankful。Buthewantedmetounderstandthathewasnot，strictlyspeaking，apoorman；
thatsomeyearsbeforethediscoveryofhisfatalcomplainthehadtakenoutalifeinsurancepolicyforfivethousanddollars，andthathehadrakedandscrapedenoughtogethertopayitup，andthathewouldnotleavehiswifeandfourchildrendestitute。\"Yousee，\"headded，\"ifIcouldfindsomesortoflightworktodo，andkindersledalong，youknow——until——\"
Hestopped，awkwardly。
Ihaveheardseveralnotedactorsthrilltheiraudienceswithasinglephrase。IthinkIneverwasashonestlymovedbyanyspokenwordasthat\"until，\"orthepausethatfollowedit。Hewasevidentlyquiteunconsciousofitseffect，forasItookaseatbesidehimonthesofa，andlookedmorecloselyinhiswaxenface，Icouldseethathewasevidentlyembarrassed，andwouldhaveexplainedhimselffurther，ifIhadnotstoppedhim。
Possiblyitwasthedramaticidea，orpossiblychance；butafewdaysafterward，meetingacertainkind-heartedtheatricalmanager，Iaskedhimifhehadanylightemploymentforamanwhowasaninvalid？\"Canhewalk？\"\"Yes。\"\"Standupforfifteenminutes？\"
\"Yes。\"\"ThenI’lltakehim。He’lldoforthelastsceneinthe’DestructionofSennacherib’——it’satremendousthing，youknow。
We’llhavetwothousandpeopleonthestage。\"Iwasatriflealarmedatthetitle，andventuredtosuggest（withoutbetrayingmypoorfriend’ssecretthathecouldnotactivelyengageinthe\"DestructionofSennacherib，\"andthateventhespectacleofitmightbetoomuchforhim。\"Needn’tseeitatall，\"saidmymanagerialfriend；\"puthiminfront，nothingtodobutmarchinandmarchout，anddodgecurtain。\"
Hewasengaged。IadmitIwasattimeshauntedbygravedoubtsastowhetherIshouldnothaveinformedthemanagerofhisphysicalcondition，andthepossibilitythathemightsomeeveningperpetratearealtragedyonthemimicstage，butonthefirstperformanceof\"TheDestructionofSennacherib，\"whichI
conscientiouslyattended，Iwassomewhatrelieved。Ihadoftenbeenamusedwiththeplacidwayinwhichthechorusintheoperainvariablyreceivedthemostastoundinginformation，andwitnessedthemostappallingtragediesbypoisonortheblock，withoutanythingmorethanavocalprotestorcommand，alwaysdeliveredtotheaudienceandnevertotheactors，butIthinkmypoorfriend’sutterimpassivenesstothewildcarnageandtheterribleexhibitionsofincendiarismthatweregoingonaroundhimtranscendedeventhat。Dressedinacostumethatseemedtobetheverysoulofanachronism，hestoodalittleoutsidetheproscenium，holdingaspear，theotherhandpressedapparentlyuponthesecretwithinhisbreast，calmlysurveying，withhiswaxenface，thegayauditorium。Icouldnothelpthinkingthattherewasacertainpridevisibleeveninhisplacidfeatures，asofonewhowasconsciousthatatanymomenthemightchangethissimulatedcatastropheintorealterror。IcouldnothelpsayingthistotheDoctor，whowaswithme。\"Yes，\"hesaidwithprofessionalexactitude；\"whenithappenshe’llthrowhisarmsupabovehishead，utteranejaculation，andfallforwardonhisface，——it’sasingularthing，theyalwaysfallforwardontheirface，——andthey’llpickupthemanasdeadasJuliusCaesar。\"
Afterthat，Iusedtogonightafternight，withacertainhideousfascination；but，whileitwillberememberedthe\"DestructionofSennacherib\"hadatremendousrun，itwillalsoberememberedthatnotasinglelifewasreallylostduringitsrepresentation。
Itwasonlyafewweeksafterthismodestfirstappearanceontheboardsof\"TheManwithanAneurism，\"that，happeningtobeatdinnerpartyofpracticalbusinessmen，Isoughttointerestthemwiththedetailsoftheabovestory，deliveredwithsuchskillandpathosasIcouldcommand。Iregrettosaythat，asapatheticstory，itforamomentseemedtobeadeadfailure。Atlastaprominentbankersittingnexttometurnedtomewiththeawfulquestion：\"Whydon’tyourfriendtrytorealizeonhislifeinsurance？\"Ibeggedhispardon，Ididn’tquiteunderstand。\"Oh，discount，sellout。Lookhere——（afterapause）。Lethimassignhispolicytome，it’snotmuchofarisk，onyourstatement。
Well——I’llgivehimhisfivethousanddollars，clear。\"
Andhedid。Undertheadviceofthiscool-headed——IthinkImayaddwarm-hearted——banker，\"TheManwithanAneurism\"investedhismoneyinthenameofandforthebenefitofhiswifeincertainsecuritiesthatpaidhimasmallbutregularstipend。Buthestillcontinuedupontheboardsofthetheatre。
Byreasonofsomebusinessengagementsthatcalledmeawayfromthecity，Ididnotseemyfriendthephysicianforthreemonthsafterward。WhenIdidIaskedtidingsofTheManwiththeAneurism。TheDoctor’skindfacegrewsad。\"I’mafraid——thatis，Idon’texactlyknowwhetherI’vegoodnewsorbad。Didyoueverseehiswife？\"
Ineverhad。
\"Well，shewasyoungerthanhe，andratherattractive。Oneofthosedoll-facedwomen。Youremember，hesettledthatlifeinsurancepolicyonherandthechildren：shemighthavewaited；
shedidn’t。Theotherdaysheelopedwithsomefellow，Idon’trememberhisname，withthechildrenandthefivethousanddollars。\"
\"Andtheshockkilledhim，\"Isaidwithpoeticpromptitude。
\"No——thatis——notyet；Isawhimyesterday，\"saidtheDoctor，withconscientiousprofessionalprecision，lookingoverhislistofcalls。
\"Well，whereisthepoorfellownow？\"
\"He’sstillatthetheatre。James，ifthesepowdersarecalledfor，you’llfindthem，hereinthisenvelope。TellMrs。BlankI’llbethereatseven——andshecangivethebabythisuntilIcome。
Saythere’snodanger。Thesewomenareanawfulbother！Yes，he’satthetheatreyet。Whichwayareyougoing？Downtown？Whycan’tyoustepintomycarriage，andI’llgiveyoualift，andwe’lltalkonthewaydown？Well——he’satthetheatreyet。And——
and——doyourememberthe’DestructionofSennacherib？’No？Yesyoudo。Yourememberthatwomaninpink，whopirouettedinthefamousballetscene！Youdon’t？Why，yesyoudo！Well，I
imagine，ofcourseIdon’tknow，it’sonlyasummarydiagnosis，butIimaginethatourfriendwiththeaneurismhasattachedhimselftoher。\"
\"Doctor，youhorrifyme。\"
\"Therearemorethings，Mr。Poet，inheavenandearththanareyetdreamtofinyourphilosophy。Listen。Mydiagnosismaybewrong，butthatwomancalledtheotherdayatmyofficetoaskabouthim，hishealth，andgeneralcondition。Itoldherthetruth——andsheFAINTED。ItwasaboutasdeadafaintasIeversaw；Iwasnearlyanhourinbringingheroutofit。Ofcourseitwastheheatoftheroom，herexertionstheprecedingweek，andIprescribedforher。Queer，wasn’tit？Now，ifIwereawriter，andhadyourfaculty，I’dmakesomethingoutofthat。\"
\"Buthowishisgeneralhealth？\"
\"Oh，aboutthesame。Hecan’tevadewhatwillcome，youknow，atanymoment。Hewasupheretheotherday。Why，thepulsationwasasplain——why，theentirearchoftheaorta——What！yougetouthere？Good-by。\"
Ofcoursenomoralist，nomanwritingforasensitiveandstrictlyvirtuouspublic，couldfurtherinteresthimselfinthisman。SoI
dismissedhimatoncefrommymind，andreturnedtotheliterarycontemplationofvirtuethatwasclearlyandpositivelydefined，andofSin，thatinvariablycommencedwithacapitalletter。Thatthisman，inhisawfulcondition，hoveringonthevergeofeternity，shouldallowhimselftobeattractedby——butitwashorribletocontemplate。
Nevertheless，amonthafterwards，IwasreturningfromafestivitywithmyintimatefriendSmith，mydistinguishedfriendJobling，mymostrespectablefriendRobinson，andmywittiestfriendJones。Itwasaclear，star-litmorning，andweseemedtoholdthebroad，beautifulavenuetoourselves；andIfearweactedasifitwereso。AswehilariouslypassedthecornerofEighteenthStreet，acouperolledby，andIsuddenlyheardmynamecalledfromitsgloomydepths。
\"Ibegyourpardon，\"saidtheDoctor，ashisdriverdrewupbythesidewalk，\"butI’vesomenewsforyou。I’vejustbeentoseeourpoorfriend————。OfcourseIwastoolate。Hewasgoneinaflash。\"
\"What！dead？\"
\"AsPharaoh！Inaninstant，justasIsaid。Yousee，therupturetookplaceinthedescendingarchof——\"
\"But，Doctor！\"
\"It’saqueerstory。AmIkeepingyoufromyourfriends？No？
Well，youseeshe——thatwomanIspokeof——hadwrittenanotetohimbasedonwhatIhadtoldher。Hegotit，anddroppedinhisdressing-room，deadasaherring。\"
\"Howcouldshehavebeensocruel，knowinghiscondition？Shemight，withwoman’stact，haverejectedhimlessabruptly。\"
\"Yes；butyou’reallwrong。ByJove！sheACCEPTEDhim！waswillingtomarryhim！\"
\"What？\"
\"Yes。Don’tyousee？Itwasjoythatkilledhim。Gad，weneverthoughtofTHAT！Queer，ain’tit？Seehere，don’tyouthinkyoumightmakeastoryoutofit？\"
\"But，Doctor，ithasn’tgotanymoral。\"
\"Humph！That’sso。Goodmorning。Driveon，John。\"
MYFRIEND，THETRAMP
IhadbeensaunteringoverthecloverdownsofacertainnotedNewEnglandseaport。ItwasaSabbathmorning，sosingularlyreposefulandgracious，sorepletewiththesignificanceoftheseventhdayofrest，thateventheSabbathbellsringingamileawayoverthesaltmarsheshadlittlethatwasmonitory，mandatory，orevensupplicatoryintheirdrowsyvoices。Rathertheyseemedtocallfromtheircloudytowers，likesomerenegademuezzin：\"Sleepisbetterthanprayer；sleepon，OsonsofthePuritans！Slumberstill，Odeaconsandvestrymen！Let，ohletthosefeetthatareswifttowickednesscurlupbeneaththee！thosepalmsthatareitchingfortheshekelsoftheungodlylieclaspedbeneaththypillow！Sleepisbetterthanprayer。\"
And，indeed，thoughitwashighmorning，sleepwasstillintheair。Wroughtuponatlastbythecombinedinfluencesofseaandskyandatmosphere，Isuccumbed，andlaydownononeofthebouldersofalittlestonyslopethatgaveuponthesea。ThegreatAtlanticlaybeforeme，notyetquiteawake，butslowlyheavingtherhythmicalexpirationofslumber。Therewasnosailvisibleinthemistyhorizon。Therewasnothingtodobuttolieandstareattheunwinkingether。
SuddenlyIbecameawareofthestrongfumesoftobacco。Turningmyhead，Isawapalebluesmokecurlingupfrombehindanadjacentboulder。Rising，andclimbingovertheintermediategranite，I
cameuponalittlehollow，inwhich，comfortablyextendedonthemossesandlichens，layapowerfully-builtman。Hewasveryragged；hewasverydirty；therewasastrongsuggestionabouthimofhishavingtoomuchhair，toomuchnail，toomuchperspiration；
toomuchofthosesuperfluousexcrescencesandexudationsthatsocietyandcivilizationstrivetokeepunder。Butitwasnoticeablethathehadnotmuchofanythingelse。ItwasTheTramp。
Withthatswiftseveritywithwhichwealwaysvisitrebukeuponthepersonwhohappenstopresentanyoneofourvicesoffensivelybeforeus，inhisownperson，Iwasdeeplyindignantathislaziness。PerhapsIshoweditinmymanner，forherosetoahalf-
sittingattitude，returnedmystareapologetically，andmadeamovementtowardknockingthefirefromhispipeagainstthegranite。
\"Shure，sur，andifI’dbelavedthatIwastrispassinonyerhonor’sgrounds，it’smeselfthatwouldhevlaiddownonthesayshoreandtakin’thesaltwavesformeblankits。Butit’ssivinteenmilesI’vewalkedthisblessednoight，withnothin’tosustainme，andhevin’amortalwakenesstofightwidinmebowels，byreasonofstarvation，andonlyabito’baccythattheWiddyMaloneygi’meatthecrossroads，tokapemeupentoirley。ButitwasthedarkdayIleftmehomeinMilwaukeetowalktoBoston；andifye’llobligealonemanwhohasleftawifeandsixchildreninMilwaukee，widtheloanoftwenty-fivecints，furninstthetimehegitsworruk，God’llbegoodtoye。\"
Itinstantlyflashedthroughmymindthatthemanbeforemehadthepreviousnightpartakenofthekitchenhospitalityofmylittlecottage，twomilesaway。Thathepresentedhimselfintheguiseofadistressedfisherman，mulctedofhiswagesbyaninhumancaptain；
thathehadawifelyingsickofconsumptioninthenextvillage，andtwochildren，oneofwhomwasacripple，wanderinginthestreetsofBoston。IrememberedthatthistremendousindictmentagainstFortunetouchedthefamily，andthatthedistressedfishermanwasprovidedwithclothes，food，andsomesmallchange。
Thefoodandsmallchangehaddisappeared，butthegarmentsfortheconsumptivewife，wherewerethey？Hehadbeenusingthemforapillow。
Iinstantlypointedoutthisfact，andchargedhimwiththedeception。Tomysurprise，hetookitquietly，andevenalittlecomplacently。
\"Bedad，yerroight；yesee，sur\"（confidentially），\"yesee，sur，untilIgetworruk——andit’sworrukI’mlukin’for——Ihavetodesavenowandthintoshutethelocality。Ah，Godsaveus！butonthesay-coastthay’rthathar-ruduponthimthatdon’tbelongtothesay。\"
Iventuredtosuggestthatastrong，healthymanlikehimmighthavefoundworksomewherebetweenMilwaukeeandBoston。
\"Ah，butyeseeIgotfreepassageonafreighttrain，anddidn’tsthop。ItwasintheAistthatIexpectedtofindworruk。\"
\"Haveyouanytrade？\"
\"Trade，isit？I’mabrickmaker，Godknows，andmany’stheliftI’vehadatmakin’bricksinMilwaukee。Shure，I’veasaisyahandatitasanyman。Maybeyerhonormightknowofakillhereabout？\"
Nowtomycertainknowledge，therewasnotabrickkilnwithinfiftymilesofthatspot，andofallunlikelyplacestofindonewouldhavebeenthissandypeninsula，givenuptothesummerresidencesofafewwealthypeople。YetIcouldnothelpadmiringtheassumptionofthescamp，whoknewthisfactaswellasmyself。
ButIsaid，\"Icangiveyouworkforadayortwo；\"and，biddinghimgatheruphissickwife’sapparel，ledthewayacrossthedownstomycottage。AtfirstIthinktheoffertookhimbysurprise，andgavehimsomeconsternation，buthepresentlyrecoveredhisspirits，andalmostinstantlyhisspeech。\"Ah，worruk，isit？Godbepraised！it’smeselfthat’sreadyandwillin’。’Thoughmaybemehandisspoiltwidbrickmakin’。\"
IassuredhimthattheworkIwouldgivehimwouldrequirenodelicatemanipulation，andsowefaredonoverthesleepydowns。
ButIcouldnothelpnoticingthat，althoughaninvalid，Iwasamuchbetterpedestrianthanmycompanion，frequentlyleavinghimbehind，andthatevenasa\"tramp，\"hewasetymologicallyanimpostor。Hehadawayoflingeringbesidethefenceswehadtoclimbover，asiftocontinuemoreconfidentiallythehistoryofhismisfortunesandtroubles，whichhewasdeliveringtomeduringourhomewardwalk，andInoticedthathecouldseldomresisttheinvitationofamossyboulderoratussockofsaltgrass。\"Yesee，sur，\"hewouldsay，suddenlysittingdown，\"it’salonguvmemisfortunesbeginnin’inMilwaukeethat——\"anditwasnotuntilI
wasoutofhearingthathewouldlanguidlygatherhistrapsagainandsaunterafterme。WhenIreachedmyowngardengateheleanedforamomentoverit，withbothofhispowerfularmsextendeddownward，andsaid，\"Ah，butit’sablessin’thatSundaycomestogiverestfurthewakeandtheweary，andthemaswalkssivinteenmilestogetit。\"OfcourseItookthehint。Therewasevidentlynoworktobehadfrommyfriend，theTramp，thatday。Yethiscountenancebrightenedashesawthelimitedextentofmydomain，andobservedthatthegarden，socalled，wasonlyaflower-bedabouttwenty-fivebyten。Ashehaddoubtlessbeforethisbeenutilized，totheextentofhiscapacity，indigging，hehadprobablyexpectedthatkindofwork；andIdaresayIdiscomfittedhimbypointinghimtoanalmostleveledstonewall，abouttwentyfeetlong，withtheremarkthathisworkwouldbetherebuildingofthatstonewall，withstonebroughtfromtheneighboringslopes。
Inafewmomentshewascomfortablyprovidedforinthekitchen，wherethecook，awomanofhisownnativity，apparently，\"chaffed\"
himwitharaillerythatwastomequiteunintelligible。YetI
noticedthatwhen，atsunset，heaccompaniedBridgettothespringforwater，ostentatiouslyflourishingtheemptybucketinhishand，whentheyreturnedinthegloamingBridgetwascarryingthewater，andmyfriend，theTramp，wassomepacesbehindher，cheerfully\"colloguing，\"andpickingblackberries。
Atseventhenextmorninghestartedincheerfullytowork。Atnine，A。M。，hehadplacedthreelargestonesonthefirstcourseinposition，anhourhavingbeenspentinlookingforapickandhammer，andintheincidental\"chaffing\"withBridget。Atteno’clockIwenttooverlookhiswork；itwasarashaction，asitcausedhimtorespectfullydoffhishat，discontinuehislabors，andleanbackagainstthefenceincheerfulandeasyconservation。
\"Areyoufonduvblackberries，Captain？\"Itoldhimthatthechildrenwereinthehabitofgettingthemfromthemeadowbeyond，hopingtoestopthesuggestionIknewwascoming。\"Ah，but，Captain，it’smeselfthatwithwanderin’andhavin’nothin’topassmelipsbuttheberriesI’dpickfromthehedges，——it’smeselfknowswheretofindthim。Sure，it’syerchilder，andfoineboystheyare，Captain，that’sbesachingmetogowid’emtotheplace，known’stonlytomeself。\"Itisunnecessarytosaythathetriumphed。Afterthemannerofvagabondsofalldegrees，hehadenlistedthewomenandchildrenonhisside——andmyfriend，theTramp，hadhisownway。Hedepartedatelevenandreturnedatfour，P。M。，withatindinner-pailhalffilled。Oninterrogatingtheboysitappearedthattheyhadhada\"bullytime，\"butoncross-examinationitcameoutthatTHEYhadpickedtheberries。
Fromfourtosix，threemorestoneswerelaid，andthearduouslaborsofthedaywereover。AsIstoodlookingatthefirstcourseofsixstones，myfriend，theTramp，stretchedhisstrongarmsouttotheirfullestextentandsaid：\"Ay，butit’sworrukthat’sgoodforme；givemeworruk，andit’sallI’llbeaskin’
fur。\"
Iventuredtosuggestthathehadnotyetaccomplishedmuch。
\"Waittillto-morror。Ah，butye’llseethin。It’smehandthat’syetonaisywidbrick-makin’andsthrangetotheshtones。Anye’llwaittillto-morror？\"
UnfortunatelyIdidnotwait。Anengagementtookmeawayatanearlyhour，andwhenIrodeuptomycottageatnoonmyeyesweregreetedwiththeastonishingspectacleofmytwoboyshardatworklayingthecoursesofthestonewall，assistedbyBridgetandNorah，whoweredraggingstonesfromthehillsides，whilecomfortablystretchedonthetopofthewalllaymyfriend，theTramp，quietlyoverseeingtheoperationwithlazyandhumorouscomment。ForaninstantIwasfoolishlyindignant，buthesoonbroughtmetomysenses。\"Shure，sur，it’sonlylarnin’theboysthehabitsuvindusthryIwas——andmaytheyniverknow，bethesametoken，whatitistoworrukfurthebreadbetunetheirlips。Shureit’sbutmakin’’emthinkitplayIwas。Asfurthecolleensbeyintinthekitchen，sureisn’titbetthertheywashelpingyourhonorherethancolloguingwiththemselvesinside？\"
Nevertheless，Ithoughtitexpedienttoforbidhenceforthanyinterruptionofservantsorchildrenwithmyfriend’s\"worruk。\"
PerhapsitwastheresultofthisembargothatthenextmorningearlytheTrampwantedtoseeme。
\"Andit’ssorryIamtosayittoye，sur，\"hebegan，\"butit’sthehandlin’ofthisstunthat’sdesthroyin’metouchatthebrick-
makin’，andit’sbetterIshouldlaveyeandfindworrukatmeownthrade。Forit’sworrukIamnadin’。Itisn’tmeself，Captain，toatethebreadofoidlenesshere。Andsogood-bytoye，andifit’sfiftycintsyecanbegivin’meontilI’llfindakill——it’sGodthat’llrepayye。\"
Hegotthemoney。Buthegotalsoconditionallyanotefrommetomynextneighbor，awealthyretiredphysician，possessedofalargedomain，amaneminentlypracticalandbusinesslikeinhismanagementofit。Heemployedmanylaborersonthesterilewastehecalledhis\"farm，\"anditoccurredtomethatiftherereallywasanyworkinmyfriend，theTramp，whichmyownindolenceandpreoccupationhadfailedtobringout，hewasthemantodoit。
Imethimaweekafter。ItwaswithsomeembarrassmentthatI
inquiredaftermyfriend，theTramp。\"Oh，yes，\"hesaid，reflectively，\"let’ssee：hecameMondayandleftmeThursday。Hewas，Ithink，astout，strongman，awell-meaning，good-humoredfellow，butafflictedwithamostsingularvarietyofdiseases。
ThefirstdayIputhimatworkinthestableshedevelopedchillsandfevercaughtintheswampsofLouisiana——\"
\"Excuseme，\"Isaidhurriedly，\"youmeaninMilwaukee！\"
\"IknowwhatI’mtalkingabout，\"returnedtheDoctor，testily；\"hetoldmehiswholewretchedstory——hisescapefromtheConfederateservice，theattackuponhimbyarmednegroes，hisconcealmentinthebayousandswamps——\"
\"Goon，Doctor，\"Isaid，feebly；\"youwerespeakingofhiswork。\"
\"Yes。Well，hissystemwasfullofmalaria；thefirstdayIhadhimwrappedupinblankets，anddosedwithquinine。Thenextdayhewastakenwithallthesymptomsofcholeramorbus，andIhadtokeephimuponbrandyandcapsicum。Rheumatismsetinonthefollowingday，andincapacitatedhimforwork，andIconcludedI
hadbettergivehimanotetothedirectoroftheCityHospitalthankeephimhere。Asapathologicalstudyhewasgood；butasI
waslookingforamantohelpaboutthestable，Icouldn’taffordtokeephiminbothcapacities。\"
AsInevercouldreallytellwhentheDoctorwasinjokeorinearnest，Idroppedthesubject。Andsomyfriend，theTramp，graduallyfadedfrommymemory，nothoweverwithoutleavingbehindhiminthebarnwherehehadsleptalingeringflavorofwhisky，onions，andfluffiness。Butintwoweeksthishadgone，andthe\"Shebang\"（asmyfriendsirreverentlytermedmyhabitation）knewhimnomore。Yetitwaspleasanttothinkofhimashavingatlastfoundajobatbrick-making，orhavingreturnedtohisfamilyatMilwaukee，ormakinghisLouisianahomeoncemorehappywithhispresence，oragaintemptingthefish-producingmain——thistimewithanobleandequitablecaptain。
ItwasalovelyAugustmorningwhenIrodeacrossthesandypeninsulatovisitacertainnotedfamily，whereofallthesonswerevaliantandthedaughtersbeautiful。Thefrontofthehousewasdeserted，butontherearverandaIheardtherustleofgowns，andaboveitarosewhatseemedtobethevoiceofUlysses，recitinghiswanderings。Therewasnomistakingthatvoice，itwasmyfriend，theTramp！
FromwhatIcouldhastilygatherfromhisspeech，hehadwalkedfromSt。John，N。B。，torejoinadistressedwifeinNewYork，whowas，however，livingwithopulentbutobjectionablerelatives。
\"An’shure，miss，Iwouldn’tbeaskin’yetheloanofacintifI
couldgetworrukatmetradeofcarpet-wavin’——andmaybeyeknowofsomemannfacthorywheretheywavecarpetsbeyanthere。Ah，miss，andifyedon’tgivemeacint，it’senoughfortheloikesofmetoknowthatmetroubleshasbroughtthetearsinthemostbeautifuloiyesinthewurruld，andGodblessyeforit，miss！\"
NowIknewthattheMostBeautifulEyesintheWorldbelongedtooneofthemostsympatheticandtenderestheartsintheworld，andIfeltthatcommonjusticedemandedmyinterferencebetweenitandoneofthebiggestscampsintheworld。So，withoutwaitingtobeannouncedbytheservant，Iopenedthedoor，andjoinedthegroupontheveranda。
IfIexpectedtotouchtheconscienceofmyfriend，theTramp，byadramaticentrance，Ifailedutterly；fornosoonerdidheseeme，thanheinstantlygaveventtoahowlofdelight，and，fallingonhiskneesbeforeme，graspedmyhand，andturnedoratoricallytotheladies。
\"Oh，butit’shimself——himselfthathascomeasawitnesstomecarrakther！Oh，butit’shimselfthatliftedmefourwakesago，whenIwaslyin’withamortalwakenessonthesay-coast，andtukmetohishouse。Oh，butit’shimselfthatshupportedmeoverthefaldes，andwhinthechillsandfavercameonmeandIshiveredwidthecold，itwashimself，Godblesshim，assthrippedthecoatoffhisback，andgivitme，sayin’，’Takeit，Dinnis，it’sshtarvedwiththecowldsayairye’llbeentoirely。’Ah，butlookathim——
willye，miss！Lookathisswate，modistface——ablushin’likeyourown，miss。Ah！lookathim，willye？He’llbedenyin’ofitinaminit——maytheblessin’uvGodfollyhim。Lookathim，miss！
Ah，butit’saswatepairye’dmake！（therascalknewIwasamarriedman）。Ah，miss，ifyoucouldseehimwroightin’dayandnightwithsuchanilliganthandofhisown——（hehadevidentlybelievedfromthegossipofmyservantsthatIwasaprofessorofchirography）——ifyecouldseehim，miss，asIhave，ye’dbeproudofhim。\"
Hestoppedoutofbreath。IwassocompletelyastoundedIcouldsaynothing：thetremendousindictmentIhadframedtoutterasI
openedthedoorvanishedcompletely。AndastheMostBeautifulEyesintheWurruldturnedgratefullytomine——well——
Istillretainedenoughprincipletoasktheladiestowithdraw，whileIwouldtakeuponmyselfthedutyofexaminingintothecaseofmyfriend，theTramp，andgivinghimsuchreliefaswasrequired。（Ididnotknowuntilafterward，however，thattherascalhadalreadydespoiledtheirscantpursesofthreedollarsandfiftycents。）WhenthedoorwascloseduponthemIturneduponhim。
\"Youinfernalrascal！\"
\"Ah，Captain，andwouldyeberefusin’MEacarraktherandmegivin’YEsuchaoneasOidid！Godsaveus！butifye’dhav’seenthelukthatthepurtyonegiveye。Well，beforethechillsandfaverbrukmespiritsentirely，whenIwasayoungman，andmakin’
metindollarsaweekbrick-makin’，it’smeselfthatwudhav’
given——\"
\"Iconsider，\"Ibrokein，\"thatadollarisafairpriceforyourstory，andasIshallhavetotakeitallbackandexposeyoubeforethenexttwenty-fourhourspass，IthinkyouhadbetterhastentoMilwaukee，NewYork，orLouisiana。\"
Ihandedhimthedollar。\"Mind，Idon’twanttoseeyourfaceagain。\"
\"Yewun’t，captain。\"
AndIdidnot。
Butitsochancedthatlaterintheseason，whenthemigratoryinhabitantshadflowntotheirhot-airregistersinBostonandProvidence，Ibreakfastedwithonewhohadlingered。ItwasacertainBostonlawyer，——repletewithprinciple，honesty，self-
discipline，statistics，aesthetics，andaperfectconsciousnessofpossessingallthesevirtues，andafullrecognitionoftheirmarketvalues。Ithinkhetoleratedmeasakindofforeigner，gentlybutfirmlywaivingallargumentonanytopic，frequentlydistrustingmyfacts，generallymydeductions，andalwaysmyideas。