Inconversationhealwaysappearedtodescendonlyhalfwaydownalongmoralandintellectualstaircase,andalwaysdeliveredhisconclusionsoverthebalusters。
Ihadbeenspeakingofmyfriend,theTramp。\"Thereisbutonewayoftreatingthatclassofimpostors;itissimplytorecognizethefactthatthelawcallshima’vagrant,’andmakeshistradeamisdemeanor。Anysentimentontheothersiderendersyouparticepscriminis。Idon’tknowbutanactionwouldlieagainstyouforencouragingtramps。Now,Ihaveanefficaciouswayofdealingwiththesegentry。\"Heroseandtookadouble-barreledfowling-piecefromthechimney。\"Whenatrampappearsonmyproperty,Iwarnhimoff。Ifhepersists,Ifireonhim——asIwouldonanycriminaltrespasser。\"
\"Fireonhim?\"Iechoedinalarm。
\"Yes——BUTWITHPOWDERONLY!OfcourseHEdoesn’tknowthat。Buthedoesn’tcomeback。\"
Itstruckmeforthefirsttimethatpossiblymanyotherofmyfriend’sargumentsmightbeonlyblankcartridges,andusedtofrightenoffothertrespassingintellects。
\"Ofcourse,ifthetrampstillpersisted,Iwouldbejustifiedinusingshot。LasteveningIhadavisitfromone。Hewascomingoverthewall。Myshotgunwasefficacious;youshouldhaveseenhimrun!\"
Itwasuselesstoarguewithsopositiveamind,andIdroppedthesubject。AfterbreakfastIstrolledoverthedowns,myfriendpromisingtojoinmeassoonashearrangedsomehouseholdbusiness。
Itwasalovely,peacefulmorning,notunlikethedaywhenIfirstmetmyfriend,theTramp。Thehushofagreatbenedictionlayonlandandsea。Afewwhitesailstwinkledafar,butsleepily;oneortwolargeshipswerecreepinginlazily,likemyfriend,theTramp。Avoicebehindmestartledme。
Myhosthadrejoinedme。Hisface,however,lookedalittletroubled。
\"Ijustnowlearnedsomethingofimportance,\"hebegan。\"ItappearsthatwithallmyprecautionsthatTramphasvisitedmykitchen,andtheservantshaveentertainedhim。Yesterdaymorning,itappears,whileIwasabsent,hehadtheaudacitytoborrowmyguntogoduck-shooting。Attheendoftwoorthreehourshereturnedwithtwoducksand——thegun。\"
\"Thatwas,atleast,honest。\"
\"Yes——but!Thatfoolofagirlsaysthat,ashehandedbackthegun,hetoldheritwasallright,andthathehadloadeditupagaintosavethemastertrouble。\"
IthinkIshowedmyconcerninmyface,forheadded,hastily:\"Itwasonlyduck-shot;afewwouldn’thurthim!\"
Nevertheless,webothwalkedoninsilenceforamoment。\"I
thoughtthegunkickedalittle,\"hesaidatlast,musingly;\"buttheideaof——Hallo!what’sthis?\"
HestoppedbeforethehollowwhereIhadfirstseenmyTramp。Itwasdeserted,butonthemossestherewerespotsofbloodandfragmentsofanoldgown,blood-stained,asifusedforbandages。
Ilookedatitclosely:itwasthegownintendedfortheconsumptivewifeofmyfriend,theTramp。
Butmyhostwasalreadynervouslytrackingthebloodstainsthatonrock,moss,andboulderweresteadilyleadingtowardthesea。WhenIovertookhimatlastontheshore,hewasstandingbeforeaflatrock,onwhichlayabundleIrecognized,tiedupinahandkerchief,andacrookedgrape-vinestick。
\"Hemayhavecomeheretowashhiswounds——saltisastyptic,\"saidmyhost,whohadrecoveredhiscorrectprecisionofstatement。
Isaidnothing,butlookedtowardthesea。Whateversecretlayhidinitsbreast,itkeptitfast。Whateveritscalmeyeshadseenthatsummernight,itgavenoreflectionnow。Itlaytherepassive,imperturbable,andreticent。Butmyfriend,theTramp,wasgone!
THEMANFROMSOLANO
Hecametowardmeoutofanoperalobby,betweentheacts,——afigureasremarkableasanythingintheperformance。Hisclothes,notwoarticlesofwhichwereofthesamecolor,hadtheappearanceofhavingbeenpurchasedandputononlyanhourortwobefore,——afactmoredirectlyestablishedbytheclothes-dealer’sticketwhichstilladheredtohiscoat-collar,givingthenumber,size,andgeneraldimensionsofthatgarmentsomewhatobtrusivelytoanuninterestedpublic。Histrousershadastraightlinedowneachleg,asifhehadbeenbornflatbuthadsincedeveloped;andtherewasanothercreasedownhisback,likethosefigureschildrencutoutoffoldedpaper。Imayaddthattherewasnoconsciousnessofthisinhisface,whichwasgood-natured,and,butforacertainsquarenessintheangleofhislowerjaw,utterlyuninterestingandcommonplace。
\"Youdisrememberme,\"hesaid,briefly,asheextendedhishand,\"butI’mfromSolano,inCaliforny。Imetyouthereinthespringof’57。Iwastendin’sheep,andyouwasburnin’charcoal。\"
Therewasnottheslightesttraceofanyintentionalrudenessinthereminder。Itwassimplyastatementoffact,andassuchtobeaccepted。
\"WhatIhailedyeforwasonlythis,\"hesaid,afterIhadshakenhandswithhim。\"Isawyouaminnitagostandin’overinyonbox——
chirpin’withalady——ayounglady,peartandpretty。Mightyoubetellingmehername?\"
Igavehimthenameofacertainnotedbelleofaneighboringcity,whohadlatelystirredtheheartsofthemetropolis,andwhowasespeciallyadmiredbythebrilliantandfascinatingyoungDashboard,whostoodbesideme。
TheManfromSolanomusedforamoment,andthensaid,\"Thet’sso!
thet’sthename!It’sthesamegal!\"
\"Youhavemether,then?\"Iasked,insurprise。
\"Ye-es,\"heresponded,slowly:\"Imetheraboutfowermonthsago。
She’dbinmakin’atourofCalifornywithsomefriends,andIfirstsawheraboardthecarsthissideofReno。Shelostherbaggage-
checks,andIfoundthemonthefloorandgave’embacktoher,andshethankedme。Ireckonnowitwouldbeaboutthesquarethingtogoovertharandsorterrecognizeher。\"Hestoppedamoment,andlookedatusinquiringly。
\"Mydearsir,\"struckinthebrilliantandfascinatingDashboard,\"ifyourhesitationproceedsfromanydoubtastotheproprietyofyourattire,Ibegyoutodismissitfromyourmindatonce。Thetyrannyofcustom,itistrue,compelsyourfriendandmyselftodresspeculiarly,butIassureyounothingcouldbefinerthanthewaythattheolivegreenofyourcoatmeltsinthedelicateyellowofyourcravat,orthepearlgrayofyourtrousersblendswiththebrightblueofyourwaistcoat,andlendsadditionalbrilliancytothatmassiveoroidewatch-chainwhichyouwear。\"
Tomysurprise,theManfromSolanodidnotstrikehim。HelookedattheironicalDashboardwithgraveearnestness,andthensaidquietly:——
\"ThenIreckonyouwouldn’tmindshowin’meinthar?\"
Dashboardwas,Iadmit,alittlestaggeredatthis。Butherecoveredhimself,and,bowingironically,ledthewaytothebox。
IfollowedhimandtheManfromSolano。
Now,thebelleinquestionhappenedtobeagentlewoman——descendedfromgentlewomen——andafterDashboard’sironicalintroduction,inwhichtheManfromSolanowasnotspared,shecomprehendedthesituationinstantly。ToDashboard’ssurpriseshedrewachairtoherside,madetheManfromSolanositdown,quietlyturnedherbackonDashboard,andinfullviewofthebrilliantaudienceandthefocusofahundredlorgnettes,enteredintoconversationwithhim。
Here,forthesakeofromance,Ishouldliketosayhebecameanimated,andexhibitedsometraitofexcellence,——somerarewitorsolidsense。Butthefactishewasdullandstupidtothelastdegree。Hepersistedinkeepingtheconversationuponthesubjectofthelostbaggage-checks,andeverybrightattemptoftheladytodiverthimfailedsignally。Atlast,toeverybody’srelief,herose,andleaningoverherchair,said:——
\"Icalklatetostopoverheresometime,miss,andyouandmebein’
sorterstrangershere,maybewhenthere’sanyshowlikethisgoin’
onyou’llletme——\"
MissX。saidsomewhathastilythatthemultiplicityofherengagementsandthebrieflimitofherstayinNewYorkshefearedwould,etc。,etc。Thetwootherladieshadtheirhandkerchiefsovertheirmouths,andwerestaringintentlyonthestage,whentheManfromSolanocontinued:——
\"Then,maybe,miss,wheneverthereisashowgoin’onthatyou’llattend,you’lljustdropmewordtoEarle’sHotel,tothisyeraddress,\"andhepulledfromhispocketadozenwell-wornletters,andtakingthebuffenvelopefromone,handedittoherwithsomethinglikeabow。
\"Certainly,\"brokeinthefacetiousDashboard,\"MissX。goestotheCharityBallto-morrownight。TheticketsarebutatrifletoanopulentCalifornian,andamanofyourevidentmeans,andtheobjectaworthyone。Youwill,nodoubt,easilysecureaninvitation。\"
MissX。raisedherhandsomeeyesforamomenttoDashboard。\"Byallmeans,\"shesaid,turningtotheManfromSolano;\"andasMr。
Dashboardisoneofthemanagersandyouareastranger,hewill,ofcourse,sendyouacomplimentaryticket。IhaveknownMr。
Dashboardlongenoughtoknowthatheisinvariablycourteoustostrangersandagentleman。\"Shesettledherselfinherchairagainandfixedhereyesuponthestage。
TheManfromSolanothankedtheManofNewYork,andthen,aftershakinghandswitheverybodyinthebox,turnedtogo。WhenhehadreachedthedoorhelookedbacktoMissX。,andsaid,——
\"ItWASoneofthequeerestthingsintheworld,miss,thatmyfindin’themchecks——\"
Butthecurtainhadjustthenrisenonthegardenscenein\"Faust,\"
andMissX。wasabsorbed。TheManfromSolanocarefullyshuttheboxdoorandretired。Ifollowedhim。
Hewassilentuntilhereachedthelobby,andthenhesaid,asifrenewingapreviousconversation,\"SheISamightypeartgal——
that’sso。She’sjustmykind,andwillmakeastavin’goodwife。\"
IthoughtIsawdangeraheadfortheManfromSolano,soIhastenedtotellhimthatshewasbesetbyattentions,thatshecouldhaveherpickandchoiceofthebestofsociety,andfinally,thatshewas,mostprobably,engagedtoDashboard。
\"That’sso,\"hesaidquietly,withouttheslightesttraceoffeeling。\"Itwouldbemightyqueerifshewasn’t。ButIreckonI’llsteerdowntotheho-tel。Idon’tcaremuchforthisyellin’。\"(Hewasalludingtoacadenzaofthatfamouscantatrice,SignoraBattiBatti。)\"What’sthetime?\"
Hepulledouthiswatch。Itwassuchaglaringchain,soobviouslybogus,thatmyeyeswerefascinatedbyit。\"You’relookingatthatwatch,\"hesaid;\"it’spurtytolookat,butshedon’tgoworthacent。Andyetherpricewas$125,gold。IgobbledherupinChathamStreetdaybeforeyesterday,wheretheywereselling’emverycheapatauction。\"
\"Youhavebeenoutrageouslyswindled,\"Isaid,indignantly。\"Watchandchainarenotworthtwentydollars。\"
\"Aretheyworthfifteen?\"heasked,gravely。
\"Possibly。\"
\"ThenIreckonit’safairtrade。Yesee,Itold’emIwasaCalifornianfromSolano,andhadn’tanythingaboutmeofgreenbacks。Ihadthreeslugswithme。Yerememberthemslugs?\"
(Idid;the\"slug\"wasa\"token\"issuedintheearlydays——ahexagonalpieceofgoldalittleovertwicethesizeofatwenty-
dollargoldpiece——worthandacceptedforfiftydollars。)
\"Well,Ihandedthemthat,andtheyhandedmethewatch。YouseethemslugsIhadmademyselfouterbrassfilingsandironpyrites,andusedtoslap’emdownontheboysforabluffinagameofdrawpoker。Yousee,notbeingreg’largov-mentmoney,itwasn’tcounterfeiting。Ireckontheycostme,countingtimeandanxiety,aboutfifteendollars。So,ifthisyerwatchisworththat,it’saboutasquaregame,ain’tit?\"
IbegantounderstandtheManfromSolano,andsaiditwas。Hereturnedhiswatchtohispocket,toyedplayfullywiththechain,andremarked,\"Kindermakesamanlookfash’nableandwealthy,don’tit?\"
Iagreedwithhim。\"Butwhatdoyouintendtodohere?\"Iasked。
\"Well,I’vegotacashcapitalofnighonsevenhundreddollars。I
guessuntilIgetintoreg’larbusinessI’llskirmishroundWallStreet,andsorterlaylow。\"Iwasabouttogivehimafewwordsofwarning,butIrememberedhiswatch,anddesisted。Weshookhandsandparted。
AfewdaysafterImethimonBroadway。Hewasattiredinanothernewsuit,butIthinkIsawaslightimprovementinhisgeneralappearance。Onlyfivedistinctcolorswerevisibleinhisattire。
Butthis,Ihadreasontobelieveafterwards,wasaccidental。
Iaskedhimifhehadbeentotheball。Hesaidhehad。\"Thatgal,andamightypeartgalshewastoo,wasthere,butshesorterfoughtshyofme。Igotthisnewsuittogoin,butthosewaiterssorterrunmeintoaprivatebox,andIdidn’tgetmuchchancetocontinnerourtalkaboutthemchecks。Butthatyoungfeller,Dashboard,wasmightyperlite。Hebroughtlotsoffellersandyoungwomenroundtotheboxtoseeme,andhemadeupapartythatnighttotakemeroundWallStreetandinthemStockBoards。Andthenextdayhecalledformeandtookme,andIinvestedaboutfivehundreddollarsinthemstocks——maybemore。Yousee,wesorterswoppedstocks。YouknowIhadtensharesinthePeacockCopperMine,thatyouwasoncesecretaryof。\"
\"Butthosesharesarenotworthacent。Thewholethingexplodedtenyearsago。\"
\"That’sso,maybe;YOUsayso。ButthenIdidn’tknowanythingmoreaboutCommunipawCentral,ortheNaphthaGaslightCompany,andsoIthoughtitwasasquaregame。OnlyIrealizedonthestocksI
bought,andIkemupouterWallStreetaboutfourhundreddollarsbetter。Youseeitwasasorterrisk,afterall,forthemPeacockstocksMIGHTcomeup!\"
Ilookedintohisface:itwasimmeasurablysereneandcommonplace。
Ibegantobealittleafraidoftheman,or,rather,ofmywantofjudgmentoftheman;andafterafewwordsweshookhandsandparted。
ItwassomemonthsbeforeIagainsawtheManfromSolano。WhenI
did,IfoundthathehadactuallybecomeamemberoftheStockBoard,andhadalittleofficeonBroadStreet,wherehetransactedafairbusiness。MyremembrancegoingbacktothefirstnightI
methim,IinquiredifhehadrenewedhisacquaintancewithMissX。
\"IheerdthatshewasinNewportthissummer,andIrandowntherefuraweek。\"
\"Andyoutalkedwithheraboutthebaggage-checks?\"
\"No,\"hesaid,seriously;\"shegavemeacommissiontobuysomestocksforher。Yousee,Iguessthemfash’nablefellerssortergottorunnin’heraboutme,andsosheputouracquaintanceonasquarebusinessfooting。Itellyou,she’sarightpeartgal。Didyehearoftheaccidentthathappenedtoher?\"
Ihadnot。
\"Well,yousee,shewasoutyachting,andImanagedthroughoneofthosefellerstogetaninvite,too。Thewholethingwasgotupbyamanthattheysayisgoingtomarryher。Well,oneafternoontheboomswingsroundinalittlesquallandknocksheroverboard。
Therewasanawfulexcitement,——you’veheardaboutit,maybe?\"
\"No!\"ButIsawitallwitharomancer’sinstinctinaflashofpoetry!Thispoorfellow,debarredthroughuncouthnessfromexpressinghisaffectionforher,hadatlastfoundhisfittingopportunity。Hehad——
\"Tharwasanawfulrow,\"hewenton。\"Iranoutonthetaffrail,andthereadozenyardsawaywasthatpurtycreature,thatpeartgal,and——I——\"
\"Youjumpedforher,\"Isaid,hastily。
\"No!\"hesaidgravely。\"Ilettheothermandothejumping。I
sorterlookedon。\"
Istaredathiminastonishment。
\"No,\"hewenton,seriously。\"Hewasthemanwhojumped——thatwasjustthenhis’put’——hislineofbusiness。Yousee,ifIhadwaltzedoverthesideofthatship,andcavoortedin,andflummuxedroundandfinallyfloppedtothebottom,thatothermanwouldhavejumpednateral-likeandsavedher;andezhewasgoingtomarryheranyway,Idon’texactlyseewhereI’Dhevbeenrepresentedinthetransaction。Butdon’tyousee,ef,afterhe’djumpedandhadn’tgother,he’dgonedownhimself,I’dhevhadthenextbestchance,andtheadvantageofhevinghimoutertheway。Yousee,youdon’tunderstandme——Idon’tthinkyoudidinCaliforny。\"
\"Thenhedidsaveher?\"
\"Ofcourse。Don’tyouseeshewasallright。Ifhe’dmissedher,I’dhavechippedin。Tharwarn’tnosenseinmydoinghisdutyonlesshefailed。\"
Somehowthestorygotout。TheManfromSolanoasabuttbecamemorepopularthanever,andofcoursereceivedinvitationstoburlesquereceptions,andnaturallymetagreatmanypeoplewhomotherwisehewouldnothaveseen。Itwasobservedalsothathissevenhundreddollarsweresteadilygrowing,andthatheseemedtobegettingoninhisbusiness。CertainCaliforniastockswhichI
hadseenquietlyinterredintheolddaysinthetombsoftheirfathersweremagicallyrevived;andIremember,asonewhohasseenaghost,tohavebeenshockedasIlookedoverthequotationsonemorningtohaveseentheghostlyfaceofthe\"DeadBeatBeachMiningCo。,\"rougedandplastered,lookingoutfromthecolumnsofthemorningpaper。Atlastafewpeoplebegantorespect,orsuspect,theManfromSolano。Atlast,suspicionculminatedwiththisincident:——
Hehadlongexpressedawishtobelongtoacertain\"fash’n’ble\"
club,andwithaviewofburlesquehewasinvitedtovisittheclub,whereaseriesofridiculousentertainmentsweregivenhim,windingupwithacardparty。AsIpassedthestepsoftheclub-
houseearlynextmorning,Ioverheardtwoorthreememberstalkingexcitedly,——
\"Hecleanedeverybodyout。\"\"Why,hemusthaverakedinnighon$40,000。\"
\"Who?\"Iasked。
\"TheManfromSolano。\"
AsIturnedaway,oneofthegentlemen,avictim,notedforhissportingpropensities,followedme,andlayinghishandonmyshoulders,asked:——
\"Tellmefairlynow。WhatbusinessdidyourfriendfollowinCalifornia?\"
\"Hewasashepherd。\"
\"Awhat?\"
\"Ashepherd。Tendedhisflocksonthehoney-scentedhillsofSolano。\"
\"Well,allIcansayis,d——nyourCaliforniapastorals!\"
THEOFFICESEEKER
HeaskedmeifIhadeverseenthe\"RemusSentinel。\"
IrepliedthatIhadnot,andwouldhaveaddedthatIdidnotevenknowwhereRemuswas,whenhecontinuedbysayingitwasstrangethehotelproprietordidnotkeepthe\"Sentinel\"onhisfiles,andthathe,himself,shouldwritetotheeditoraboutit。Hewouldnothavespokenaboutit,buthe,himself,hadbeenanhumblememberoftheprofessiontowhichIbelonged,andhadoftenwrittenforitscolumns。Somefriendsofhis——partial,nodoubt——hadsaidthathisstylesomewhatresembledJunius’s;butofcourse,youknow——well,whathecouldsaywasthatinthelastcampaignhisarticleswerewidelysoughtfor。Hedidnotknowbuthehadacopyofone。Herehishanddivedintothebreast-pocketofhiscoat,withacertaindeftnessthatindicatedlonghabit,and,afterdepositingonhislapabundleofwell-worndocuments,everyoneofwhichwasglaringlysuggestiveofcertificatesandsignatures,heconcludedhehadleftitinhistrunk。
Ibreathedmorefreely。WeweresittingintherotundaofafamousWashingtonhotel,andonlyafewmomentsbeforehadthespeaker,anutterstrangertome,movedhischairbesidemineandopenedaconversation。Inoticedthathehadthattimid,lonely,helplessairwhichinveststhebucolictravelerwho,forthefirsttime,findshimselfamongstrangers,andhisidentitylost,inaworldsomuchlarger,somuchcolder,somuchmoreindifferenttohimthanheeverimagined。Indeed,Ithinkthatwhatweoftenattributetotheimpertinentfamiliarityofcountry-menandrustictravelersonrailwaysorincitiesislargelyduetotheirawfullonelinessandnostalgia。Iremembertohaveoncemetinasmoking-caronaKansasrailwayoneoftheselonelyones,who,afterplyingmewithathousanduselessquestions,finallyelicitedthefactthatIknewslightlyamanwhohadoncedweltinhisnativetowninIllinois。
Duringtherestofourjourneytheconversationturnedchieflyuponhisfellow-townsman,whomitafterwardsappearedthatmyIllinoisfriendknewnobetterthanIdid。Buthehadestablishedalinkbetweenhimselfandhisfar-offhomethroughme,andwashappy。
WhilethiswaspassingthroughmymindItookafairlookathim。
Hewasaspareyoungfellow,notmorethanthirty,withsandyhairandeyebrows,andeyelashessowhiteastobealmostimperceptible。
Hewasdressedinblack,somewhattothe\"rearwardo’thefashion,\"
andIhadanoddideathatithadbeenhisweddingsuit,anditafterwardsappearedIwasright。Hismannerhadtheprecisionandmuchofthedogmatismofthecountryschoolmaster,accustomedtowrestlewiththefeeblestintellects。Fromhishistory,whichhepresentlygaveme,itappearedIwasrightherealso。
HewasbornandbredinaWesternState,and,asschoolmasterofRemusandClerkofSupervisors,hadmarriedoneofhisscholars,thedaughterofaclergyman,andamanofsomelittleproperty。Hehadattractedsomeattentionbyhispowersofdeclamation,andwasoneoftheprincipalmembersoftheRemusDebatingSociety。ThevariousquestionsthenagitatingRemus,——\"Isthedoctrineofimmortalityconsistentwithanagriculturallife?\"and,\"Arerounddancesmorallywrong?\"——affordedhimanopportunityofbringinghimselfprominentlybeforethecountrypeople。PerhapsImighthaveseenanextractcopiedfromthe\"RemusSentinel\"inthe\"ChristianRecorder\"ofMay7,1875?No?Hewouldgetitforme。
Hehadtakenanactivepartinthelastcampaign。Hedidnotliketosayit,butithadbeenuniversallyacknowledgedthathehadelectedGashwiler。
Who?
Gen。PrattC。Gashwiler,memberofCongressfromourdeestrict。
Oh!
Apowerfulman,sir——averypowerfulman;amanwhoseinfluencewillpresentlybefelthere,sir——HERE!Well,hehadcomeonwithGashwiler,and——well,hedidnotknowwhy——Gashwilerdidnotknowwhyheshouldnot,youknow(afeeble,half-apologeticlaughhere),receivethatreward,youknow,fortheseserviceswhich,etc。,etc。
Iaskedhimifhehadanyparticularordefiniteofficeinview。
Well,no。HehadleftthattoGashwiler。Gashwilerhadsaid——herememberedhisverywords:\"Leaveitalltome;I’lllookthroughthedifferentdepartments,andseewhatcanbedoneforamanofyourtalents。\"
And——
He’slooking。I’mexpectinghimbackhereeveryminute。He’sgoneovertotheDepartmentofTape,toseewhatcanbedonethere。Ah!
herehecomes。
Alargemanapproachedus。Hewasveryheavy,veryunwieldy,veryunctuousandoppressive。Heaffectedthe\"honestfarmer,\"butsobadlythatthepooresthusbandmanwouldhaveresentedit。Therewasasuggestionofacheaplawyerabouthimthatwouldhavejustifiedanyself-respectingjudgeinthrowinghimoverthebaratonce。Therewasamilitarysuspicionabouthimthatwouldhaveentitledhimtoacourt-martialonthespot。Therewasanintroduction,fromwhichIlearnedthatmyoffice-seekingfriend’snamewasExpectantDobbs。AndthenGashwileraddressedme:——
\"Ouryoungfriendhereiswaiting,waiting。Waiting,Imaysay,ontheaffairsofState。Youth,\"continuedtheHon。Mr。Gashwiler,addressinganimaginaryconstituency,\"isnothingbutaseasonofwaiting——ofpreparation——ha,ha!\"
Ashelaidhishandinafatherlymanner——afatherlymannerthatwasasmuchofashamasanythingelseabouthim——Idon’tknowwhetherIwasmoreincensedathimorhisvictim,whoreceiveditwithevidentprideandsatisfaction。Neverthelessheventuredtofalterout:——
\"Hasanythingbeendoneyet?\"
\"Well,no;Ican’tsaythatanything——thatis,thatanythinghasbeenCOMPLETED;butImaysayweareinexcellentpositionforanadvance——ha,ha!Butwemustwait,myyoungfriend,wait。WhatisittheLatinphilosophersays?’Letusbyallmeanshastenslowly’——ha,ha!\"andheturnedtomeasifsayingconfidentially,\"Observetheimpatienceoftheseboys!\"\"Imet,amomentago,myoldfriendandboyhood’scompanion,JimMcGlasher,chiefoftheBureaufortheDisseminationofUselessInformation,and,\"loweringhisvoicetoamysteriousbutaudiblewhisper,\"Ishallseehimagainto-morrow。\"
The\"Allaboard!\"oftherailwayomnibusatthismomenttoremefromthepresenceofthisgiftedlegislatorandhisprotege;butaswedroveawayIsawthroughtheopenwindowthepowerfulmindofGashwileroperating,sotospeak,uponthesusceptibilitiesofMr。
Dobbs。
Ididnotmeethimagainforaweek。ThemorningofmyreturnI
sawthetwoconversingtogetherinthehall,butwiththepalpabledistinctionbetweenthisandtheirformerinterviews,thatthegiftedGashwilerseemedtobeanxioustogetawayfromhisfriend。
Iheardhimsaysomethingabout\"committees\"and\"to-morrow,\"andwhenDobbsturnedhisfreckledfacetowardmeIsawthathehadgotatlastsomeexpressionintoit——disappointment。
Iaskedhimpleasantlyhowhewasgettingon。
Hehadnotlosthisprideyet。Hewasdoingwell,althoughsuchwasthevaluesetuponhisfriendGashwiler’sabilitiesbyhisbrothermembersthathewasalmostalwaysoccupiedwithcommitteebusiness。Inoticedthathisclotheswerenotinasgoodcaseasbefore,andhetoldmethathehadleftthehotel,andtakenlodgingsinaby-street,whereitwaslessexpensive。Temporarilyofcourse。
AfewdaysafterthisIhadbusinessinoneofthegreatdepartments。FromthevarioussignsoverthedoorsofitsvariousofficesandbureausitalwaysoddlyremindedmeofStewart’sorArnoldandConstable’s。Youcouldgetpensions,patents,andplants。Youcouldgetlandandtheseedstoputinit,andtheIndianstoprowlroundit,andwhatnot。Therewasaperpetualclangingofofficedeskbells,andarunninghitherandthitherofmessengersstronglysuggestiveof\"Cash47。\"
AsmybusinesswaswiththemanagerofthisGreatNationalFancyShop,Imanagedtopushbythesad-eyed,eager-facedcrowdofmenandwomenintheanteroom,andenteredthesecretary’sroom,consciousofhavingleftbehindmeagreatdealofenvyanduncharitablenessofspirit。AsIopenedthedoorIheardamonotonousflowofWesternspeechwhichIthoughtIrecognized。
Therewasnomistakingit。ItwasthevoiceoftheGashwiler。
\"Theappointmentofthisman,Mr。Secretary,wouldbemostacceptabletothepeopleinmydeestrict。Hisfamilyarewealthyandinfluential,andit’sjustaswellinthefallelectionstohavethesupervisorsandcountyjudgepledgedtosupporttheadministration。OurdelegatestotheStateCentralCommitteearetoaman\"——buthere,perceivingfromthewanderingeyeofMr。
Secretarythattherewasanothermanintheroom,hewhisperedtherestwithafamiliaritythatmusthaverequiredallthepoliticianintheofficial’sbreasttokeepfromresenting。
\"Youhavesomepapers,Isuppose?\"askedthesecretary,wearily。
Gashwilerwasprovidedwithapocketful,andproducedthem。Thesecretarythrewthemonthetableamongtheotherpapers,wheretheyseemedinstantlytolosetheiridentity,andlookedasiftheywerereadytorecommendanybodybutthepersontheybelongedto。
Indeed,inonecornertheentireMassachusettsdelegation,withtheSupremeBenchattheirhead,appearedtobeearnestlyadvocatingthemanuringofIowawastelands;andtotheinexperiencedeye,anotedfemalereformerhadapparentlyappendedhersignaturetoarequestforapensionforwoundsreceivedinbattle。
\"Bytheway,\"saidthesecretary,\"IthinkIhavealetterherefromsomebodyinyourdistrictaskinganappointment,andreferringtoyou?Doyouwithdrawit?\"
\"Ifanybodyhasbeenpresumingtospeculateuponmypatronage,\"
saidtheHon。Mr。Gashwiler,withrisingrage。
\"I’vegotthelettersomewherehere,\"saidthesecretary,lookingdazedlyathistable。Hemadeafeeblemovementamongthepapers,andthensankbackhopelesslyinhischair,andgazedoutofthewindowasifhethoughtandratherhopeditmighthaveflownaway。
\"ItwasfromaMr。Globbs,orGobbs,orDobbs,ofRemus,\"hesaidfinally,afterasuperhumaneffortofmemory。
\"Oh,that’snothing——afoolishfellowwhohasbeenboringmeforthelastmonth。\"
\"ThenIamtounderstandthatthisapplicationiswithdrawn?\"
\"Asfarasmypatronageisconcerned,certainly。Infact,suchanappointmentwouldnotexpressthesentiments——indeed,Imaysay,wouldbecalculatedtoraiseactiveoppositioninthedeestrict。\"
Thesecretaryutteredasighofrelief,andthegiftedGashwilerpassedout。Itriedtogetagoodlookatthehonorablescamp’seye,butheevidentlydidnotrecognizeme。
ItwasaquestioninmymindwhetherIoughtnottoexposethetreacheryofDobbs’sfriend,butthenexttimeImetDobbshewasinsuchgoodspiritsthatIforebore。ItappearedthathiswifehadwrittentohimthatshehaddiscoveredasecondcousininthepersonoftheAssistantSuperintendentoftheEnvelopeFlapMoisteningBureauoftheDepartmentofTape,andhadaskedhisassistance;andDobbshadseenhim,andhehadpromisedit。\"Yousee,\"saidDobbs,\"intheperformanceofhisdutiesheisoftenverynearthepersonofthesecretary,frequentlyinthenextroom,andheisapowerfulman,sir——apowerfulmantoknow,sir——aVERY
powerfulman。\"
HowlongthiscontinuedIdonotremember。Longenough,however,forDobbstobecomequiteseedy,forthegivingupofwristcuffs,fortheneglectofshoesandbeard,andforgreathollowstoformroundhiseyes,andaslightflushonhischeek-bones。Iremembermeetinghiminallthedepartments,writinglettersorwaitingpatientlyinanteroomsfrommorningtillnight。Hehadlostallhisolddogmatism,butnothispride。\"Imightaswellbehereasanywhere,whileI’mwaiting,\"hesaid,\"andthenI’mgettingsomeknowledgeofthedetailsofofficiallife。\"
InthefaceofthismysteryIwassurprisedatfindinganotefromhimoneday,invitingmetodinewithhimatacertainfamousrestaurant。Ihadscarcegotovermyamazement,whenthewriterhimselfovertookmeatmyhotel。ForamomentIscarcelyrecognizedhim。Anewsuitoffashionably-cutclotheshadchangedhim,without,however,entirelyconcealinghisrusticangularityoffigureandoutline。Heevenaffectedafashionabledilettanteair,butsomildlyandsoinnocentlythatitwasnotoffensive。
\"Yousee,\"hebegan,explanatory-wise,\"I’vejustfoundoutthewaytodoit。Noneofthesebigfellows,thesecabinetofficers,knowmeexceptasanapplicant。Now,thewaytodothisthingistomeet’emfustsociably;wine’emanddine’em。Why,sir,\"——hedroppedintotheschoolmasteragainhere,——\"Ihadtwocabinetministers,twojudges,andageneralatmytablelastnight。\"
\"OnYOURinvitation?\"
\"Dear,no!allIdidwastopayforit。TomSouffletgavethedinnerandinvitedthepeople。EverybodyknowsTom。Yousee,afriendofmineputmeuptoit,andsaidthatSoufflethadfixedupnoendofappointmentsandjobsinthatway。Yousee,whenthesegentlemengetsociableovertheirwine,hesayscarelessly,’Bytheway,there’sSo-and-so——agoodfellow——wantssomething;giveittohim。’Andthefirstthingyouknow,ortheyknow,hegetsapromisefromthem。Theygetadinner——andagoodone——andhegetsanappointment。\"
\"Butwheredidyougetthemoney?\"
\"Oh,\"——hehesitated,——\"Iwrotehome,andFanny’sfatherraisedfifteenhundreddollarssomeway,andsentittome。Iputitdowntopoliticalexpenses。\"Helaughedaweak,foolishlaughhere,andadded,\"Astheoldmandon’tdrinknorsmoke,he’dlifthiseyebrowstoknowhowthemoneygoes。ButI’llmakeitallrightwhentheofficecomes——andshe’scoming,surepop。\"
Hisslangfittedaspoorlyonhimashisclothes,andhisfamiliaritywasworsethanhisformerawkwardshyness。ButIcouldnothelpaskinghimwhathadbeentheresultofthisexpenditure。
\"Nothingjustyet。ButtheSecretaryofTapeandthemanattheheadoftheInferiorDepartment,bothspoketome,andoneofthemsaidhethoughthe’dheardmynamebefore。Hemight,\"headded,withaforcedlaugh,\"forI’vewrittenhimfifteenletters。\"
Threemonthspassed。Aheavysnow-stormstayedmychariotwheelsonaWesternrailroad,tenmilesfromanervouslecturecommitteeandawaitingaudience;therewasnothingtodobuttomaketheattempttoreachtheminasleigh。Butthewaywaslongandthedriftsdeep,andwhenatlastfourmilesoutwereachedalittlevillage,thedriverdeclaredhiscattlecouldholdoutnolonger,andwemuststopthere。Bribesandthreatswereequallyofnoavail。Ihadtoacceptthefact。
\"Whatplaceisthis?\"
\"Remus。\"
\"Remus,Remus,\"wherehadIheardthatnamebefore?ButwhileI
wasreflectinghedroveupbeforethedoorofthetavern。Itwasadismal,sleep-forbiddingplace,andonlynineo’clock,andherewasthelongwinter’snightbeforeme。Failingtogetthelandlordtogivemeateamtogofurther,Iresignedmyselftomyfateandacigar,behindthered-hotstove。Inafewmomentsoneoftheloungersapproachedme,callingmebyname,andinaroughbutheartyfashioncondoledwithmeformymishap,advisedmetostayatRemusallnight,andadded:\"Thequartersain’tthebestintheworldyeratthishotel。Butthar’sanoldmanyer——thepreacherthatwas——thatfortwentyyearsheztakeninsuchfellersasyouandlodged’emfreegratisfornothing,andhezbeenproudtodoit。Theoldmanusedtoberich;heain’tsonow;soldhisbighouseonthecrossroads,andlivesinalittlecottagewithhisdarterrightoveryan。Butyecouldn’tdohimabetterturnthantogoovertharandstay,andifhethoughtI’dletyegoouto’
Remuswithoutaxingye,he’dgivemeh-ll。Stop,I’llgowithye。\"
Imightatleastcallontheoldman,andIaccompaniedmyguidethroughthestillfallingsnowuntilwereachedalittlecottage。
Thedooropenedtomyguide’sknock,andwiththebriefanddiscomposingintroduction,\"Yer,oleman,I’vebroughtyouoneo’
themsnow-boundlecturers,\"heleftmeonthethreshold,asmyhost,akindly-faced,white-hairedmanofseventy,cameforwardtogreetme。
Hisfranknessandsimplecourtesyovercametheembarrassmentleftbymyguide’sintroduction,andIfollowedhimpassivelyasheenteredtheneat,butplainly-furnishedsitting-room。Atthesamemomentapretty,butfadedyoungwomanarosefromthesofaandwasintroducedtomeashisdaughter。\"FannyandIliveherequitealone,andifyouknewhowgooditwastoseesomebodyfromthegreatoutsideworldnowandthen,youwouldnotapologizeforwhatyoucallyourintrusion。\"
DuringthisspeechIwasvaguelytryingtorecallwhereandwhenandunderwhatcircumstancesIhadeverbeforeseenthevillage,thehouse,theoldmanorhisdaughter。Wasitinadream,orinoneofthosedimreveriesofsomepreviousexistencetowhichthespiritofmankindissubject?Ilookedatthemagain。Inthecarewornlinesaroundtheonceprettygirlishmouthoftheyoungwoman,inthefurrowedseamsovertheforeheadoftheoldman,inthetickingoftheold-fashionedclockontheshelf,inthefaintwhisperofthefallingsnowoutside,Ireadthelegend,\"Patience,patience;WaitandHope。\"
Theoldmanfilledapipe,andofferingmeone,continued,\"AlthoughIseldomdrinkmyself,itwasmycustomtoalwayskeepsomenourishingliquorinmyhouseforpassingguests,butto-nightIfindmyselfwithoutany。\"Ihastenedtoofferhimmyflask,which,afteramoment’scoyness,heaccepted,andpresentlyunderitsbenigninfluenceatleasttenyearsdroppedfromhisshoulders,andhesatupinhischairerectandloquacious。
\"AndhowareaffairsattheNationalCapital,sir?\"hebegan。
Now,iftherewasanysubjectofwhichIwasprofoundlyignorant,itwasthis。Buttheoldmanwasevidentlybentonhavingagoodpoliticaltalk。SoIsaidvaguely,yetwithacertainsenseofsecurity,thatIguessedtherewasn’tmuchbeingdone。
\"Isee,\"saidtheoldman,\"inthemattersofresumption;ofthesovereignrightsofStatesandfederalinterference,youwouldimplythatacertainconservativetentativepolicyistobepromulgateduntilaftertheelectoralcommitteehavegiventheirverdict。\"Ilookedforhelptowardsthelady,andobservedfeeblythathehadveryclearlyexpressedmyviews。
Theoldman,observingmylook,said:\"Althoughmydaughter’shusbandholdsafederalpositioninWashington,thepressureofhisbusinessissogreatthathehaslittletimetogiveusmeregossip——Ibegyourpardon,didyouspeak?\"
Ihadunconsciouslyutteredanexclamation。This,then,wasRemus——
thehomeofExpectantDobbs——andthesehiswifeandfather;andtheWashingtonbanquet-table,ahme!hadsparkledwiththeyearningheart’sbloodofthispoorwife,andhadbeenupheldbythistotteringCaryatidofafather。
\"Doyouknowwhatpositionhehas?\"
Theoldmandidnotknowpositively,butthoughtitwassomegeneralsupervisingposition。HehadbeenassuredbyMr。Gashwilerthatitwasafirst-classclerkship;yes,aFIRSTclass。
Ididnottellhimthatinthis,asinmanyotherofficialregulationsinWashington,theyreckonedbackward,butsaid:——
\"IsupposethatyourM。C。,Mr。——Mr。Gashwiler——\"
\"Don’tmentionhisname,\"saidthelittlewoman,risingtoherfeethastily;\"heneverbroughtExpectantanythingbutdisappointmentandsorrow。Ihate,Idespisetheman。\"
\"DearFanny,\"expostulatedtheoldman,gently,\"thisisunchristianandunjust。Mr。Gashwilerisapowerful,averypowerfulman!Hisworkisagreatone;histimeispreoccupiedwithweightiermatters。\"
\"HistimewasnotsopreoccupiedbuthecouldmakeuseofpoorExpectant,\"saidthiswoundeddove,alittlespitefully。
NeverthelessitwassomesatisfactiontoknowthatDobbshadatlastgotaplace,nomatterhowunimportant,orwhohadgivenittohim;andwhenIwenttobedthatnightintheroomthathadbeenevidentlypreparedfortheirconjugalchamber,IfeltthatDobbs’sworsttrialswereover。Thewallswerehungwithsouvenirsoftheirante-nuptialdays。TherewasaportraitofDobbs,aetat。25;
therewasafadedbouquetinaglasscase,presentedbyDobbstoFannyonexamination-day;therewasaframedresolutionofthankstoDobbsfromtheRemusDebatingSociety;therewasacertificateofDobbs’selectionasPresidentoftheRemusPhilomatheanSociety;
therewashiscommissionasCaptainintheRemusIndependentContingentofHomeGuards;therewasaFreemason’schart,inwhichDobbswasaddressedinepithetsmorefulsomeandextravagantthananylivingmonarch。Andyetallthesecheapgloriesofanarrowlifeandnarrowerbrainwereupheldandmadesacredbytheloveofthedevotedpriestesswhoworshipedatthislonelyshrine,andkeptthelightburningthroughgloomanddoubtanddespair。Thestormtoreroundthehouse,andshookitswhitefistsinthewindows。A
driedwreathoflaurelthatFannyhadplacedonDobbs’sheadafterhiscelebratedcentennialaddressattheschool-house,July4,1876,swayedinthegusts,andsentafewofitsdeadleavesdownonthefloor,andIlayinDobbs’sbedandwonderedwhatafirst-
classclerkshipwas。
Ifoundoutearlythenextsummer。Iwasstrollingthroughthelongcorridorsofacertaingreatdepartment,whenIcameuponamanaccuratelyyokedacrosstheshoulders,andsupportingtwohugepailsoficeoneitherside,fromwhichhewasreplenishingthepitchersinthevariousoffices。AsIpassedIturnedtolookathimagain。ItwasDobbs!
Hedidnotsetdownhisburden;itwasagainsttherules,hesaid。
Buthegossipedcheerily,saidhewasbeginningatthefootoftheladder,butexpectedsoontoclimbup。ThatitwasCivilServiceReform,andofcoursehewouldbepromotedsoon。
\"HadGashwilerprocuredtheappointment?\"
No。HebelieveditwasME。IhadtoldhisstorytoAssistant-
secretaryBlank,whohad,inturnrelatedittoBureau-directorDash——bothgoodfellows——butthiswasalltheycoulddo。Yes,itwasafoothold。Buthemustgonow。
Nevertheless,Ifollowedhimupanddown,and,cheeredupwitharose-coloredpictureofhiswifeandfamily,andmyvisitthere,andpromisingtocomeandseehimthenexttimeIcametoWashington,Ilefthimwithhisself-imposedyoke。
Withanewadministration,CivilServiceReformcamein,crudeandill-digested,asallsuddenandsweepingreformsmustbe;crueltotheindividual,asallcrudereformswilleverbe;andamongthelistofhelplessmenandwomen,incapacitatedforotherworkbylongserviceinthedullroutineoffederaloffice,whoweredecapitated,theweak,foolish,emaciatedheadofExpectantDobbswenttotheblock。ItafterwardappearedthatthegiftedGashwilerwasresponsiblefortheappointmentoftwentyclerks,andthattheletterofpoorDobbs,inwhichhedaredtorefertothenowpowerlessGashwiler,hadsealedhisfate。ThecountrymadeanexampleofGashwilerand——Dobbs。
Fromthatmomenthedisappeared。Ilookedforhiminvaininanterooms,lobbies,andhotelcorridors,andfinallycametotheconclusionthathehadgonehome。
HowbeautifulwasthatJulySabbath,whenthemorningtrainfromBaltimorerolledintotheWashingtondepot。HowtenderlyandchastelythemorningsunlightlayontheeastfrontoftheCapitoluntilthewholebuildingwashushedinagrandandawfulrepose。