Onthefourthdayanoctioneerarrived;hetookaninfantryofthefurnitur,andplacedabillinthewindow。
AttheendofthewickAltamontmadehisappearance。Hewashaggardandpale;notsohaggard,however,notsopaleashismiserablewife。
Helookedatherverytendrilly。Imaysay,it’sfromhimthatI
coppiedMYlooktoMiss————。Helookedatherverytendrillyandheldouthisarms。Shegevasuffycatingshreek,andrushtintohisumbraces。
\"Mary,\"sayshe,\"youknowallnow。Ihavesoldmyplace;Ihavegotthreethousandpoundsforit,andsavedtwomore。I’vesoldmyhouseandfurnitur,andthatbringsmeanother。We’llgoabroadandloveeachother,hasformly。\"
Andnowyouaskme,Whohewas?Ishuddertorelate。——Mr。HaltamontSWEPTHECROSSINGFROMTHEBANKTOCORNHILL!!
Ofcors,Ilefthisservis。Imethim,fewyearsafter,atBadden—
Badden,whereheandMrs。A。weremuchrespectid,andpassforpippleofpropaty。
THEAMOURSOFMR。DEUCEACE。
DIMONDCUTDIMOND。
Thenameofmynexmasterwas,ifposbil,stillmoreellygantandyoufoniousthanthatofmyfust。InowfoundmyselfboddyservanttotheHonrabbleHalgernonPercyDeuceace,youngestandfifthsonoftheEarlofCrabs。
Halgernonwasabarrystir——thatis,helivedinPumpCort,Temple:
awulgarnaybrood,witchprapsmyreadersdon’tno。Suffiztosay,it’sontheconfinesofthecitty,andthechoasenaboadofthelawyersofthismetrappolish。
WhenIsaythatMr。Deuceacewasabarrystir,Idon’tmeanthathewentsesshumsorsurcoats(astheycall’em),butsimplythathekepchambers,livedinPumpCort,andlookedoutforacommitionarship,orarevisinship,oranyotherplacethattheWigguvvymentcouldgivehim。HisfatherwasaWigpier(asthelandrisstoldme),andhadbeenaToarypier。Thefackis,hislordshipwassopoar,thathewouldbeanythinkornothink,togetprovisionsforhissonsandaninkumforhimself。
IphansythathealoudHalgernontwohundredayear;anditwouldhavebeenaverycomforablemaintenants,onlyhekneverpaidhim。
Owever,theyounggenlmnwasagenlmn,andnomistake;hegothisallowentsofnothingayear,andspentitinthemosthonrabbleandfashnabblemanner。Hekepakab———hewenttoHolmax——andCrockfud’s——hemovedinthemostxquizzitsucklesandtrubbldthelawbooxverylittle,Icantellyou。Thosefashnabblegentshavewaysofgettenmoney,witchcommanpippledoan’tunderstand。
ThoughheonlyhadatherdfloarinPumpCort,helivedasifhehadthewelthofCresas。Thetenpunnotesflooabowtascommonashaypince——clarritandshampangwasathishouseasvulgarasgin;
andverrygladIwas,tobesure,tobeavalleytoazionofthenobillaty。
Deuceacehad,inhissittin—room,alargepicturonasheetofpaper。Thenamesofhisfamilywaswroteonit;itwaswroteintheshapeofatree,a—groinoutofaman—in—armer’sstomick,andthenameswereonlittleplatesamongthebows。ThepictursaidthattheDeuceaceskemintoEnglandintheyear1066,alongwithWilliamConqueruns。Mymastercalledithispodygree。Idobleevitwasbecausehehadthispictur,andbecausehewastheHONRABBLE
Deuceace,thathemannitchedtoliveashedid。Ifhehadbeenacommonman,you’dhavesaidhewasnobetterthanaswinler。It’sonlyrankandbuththatcanwarrantsuchsingularitiesasmymastershow’d。Forit’snousedisgysingit——theHonrabbleHalgernonwasaGAMBLER。Foramanofwulgarfamily,it’sthewusttradethatcanbe——foramanofcommonfeelinxofhonesty,thisprofessionisquiteimposbil;butforarealthoroughbreadgenlmn,it’stheesiestandmostprophetablelinehecantake。
ItmayprapsappearcuriousthatsuchafashnabblemanshouldliveintheTemple;butitmustberecklected,thatit’snotonlylawyerswholiveinwhat’scalledtheInsofCort。Manybatchylers,whohavenothinktodowithlor,haveheretheirloginx;andmanyshambarrysters,whoneverputonawigandgowndtwiseintheirlives,kipapartmentsintheTemple,insteadofBonStreet,Pickledilly,orotherfashnabbleplaces。
Frinstance,onourstairkis(sothesehousesarecalled),therewas8setsofchamberses,andonly3lawyers。Thesewasbottomfloar,Screwson,Hewson,andJewson,attorneys;fustfloar,Mr。SergeantFlabber——opsite,Mr。CounslorBruffy;andseckndpair,Mr。
Haggerstony,anIrishcounslor,praktisingattheOldBaly,andlickwisewhattheycallreportertotheMorningPostnyouspapper。
OpsitehimwaswroteMR。RICHARDBLEWITT;
andonthethudfloar,withmymaster,livedoneMr。Dawkins。
ThisyoungfellowwasanewcomerintotheTemple,andunluckyitwasforhimtoo——he’dbetterhaveneverbeenborn;forit’smyfirmapinionthattheTempleruinedhim——thatis,withthehelpofmymasterandMr。DickBlewitt:asyoushallhear。
Mr。Dawkins,asIwasgavetounderstandbyhisyoungman,hadjustlefttheUniversaryofOxford,andhadaprettylittlefortnofhisown——sixthousandpound,orso——inthestox。Hewasjestofage,anorfinwhohadlosthisfatherandmother;andhavingdistinkwishedhisselfatCollitch,wherehegainedseffralprices,wascometotowntopushhisfortn,andstudythebarryster’sbisness。
Notbeinofaveryhighfammlyhisself——indeed,I’veheardsayhisfatherwasachismonger,orsomethinkofthatlosort——DawkinswasgladtofindhisoldOxfordfrend,Mr。Blewitt,yongersontorichSquireBlewitt,ofListershire,andtotakeroomssonearhim。
Now,tho’therewasaconsiddrableintimacybetweenmeandMr。
Blewitt’sgentleman,therewasscarcelyanybetwixtourmasters,——
minebeingtoomuchofthearistoxytoassociatewithoneofMr。
Blewitt’ssort。Blewittwaswhattheycallabettinman;hewentreglartoTattlesall’s,kepapony,woreawhitehat,ablueberd’s—eyehandkercher,andacut—awaycoat。Inhismannershewastheverycontraryofmymaster,whowasaslim,ellygantmanaseverIsee——hehadverywhitehands,raytherasallowface,withsharpdarkise,andsmallwiskusneatlytrimmedandasblackasWarren’sjet——hespokeverylowandsoft——heseemedtobewatchinthepersonwithwhomhewasinconvysation,andalwaysflatterdeverybody。AsforBlewitt,hewasquiteofanothersort。Hewasalwaysswearin,singing,andslappinpeopleontheback,asheartyasposbill。Heseemedamerry,careless,honestcretur,whomonewouldtrustwithlifeandsoul。SothoughtDawkins,atleast;who,thoughaquietyoungman,fondofhisboox,novvles,Byron’spoems,foot—playing,andsuchlikescientaficamusemints,grewhandinglovewithhonestDickBlewitt,andsoonafterwithmymaster,theHonrabbleHalgernon。PoorDaw!hethoughthewasmakingoodconnexionsandrealfrends——hehadfalleninwithacoupleofthemostetrociousswinlersthateverlived。
BeforeMr。Dawkins’sarrivialinourhouse,Mr。DeuceacehadbarelycondysendedtospeaktoMr。Blewitt;itwasonlyaboutamonthafterthatsuckumstancethatmymaster,allofasudding,grewveryfriendlywithhim。Thereasonwasprettyclear,——DeuceaceWANTED
HIM。Dawkinshadnotbeenanhourinmaster’scompanybeforeheknewthathehadapidgintopluck。
Blewittknewthistoo:andbeinveryfondofpidgin,intendedtokeepthisoneentirelytohimself。ItwasamusintoseetheHonrabbleHalgernonmanuvringtogetthispoorbirdoutofBlewitt’sclause,whothoughthehaditsafe。Infact,he’dbroughtDawkinstothesechambersforthatveryporpos,thinkingtohavehimunderhiseye,andstriphimatleisure。
MymasterverysoonfoundoutwhatwasMr。Blewitt’sgame。
Gamblersknowgamblers,ifnotbyinstink,atleastbyreputation;
andthoughMr。BlewittmovedinamuchlowerspearethanMr。
Deuceace,theykneweachother’sdealinsandcaracterspufficklywell。
\"Charlesyouscoundrel,\"saysDeuceacetomeoneday(healwaysspoakinthatkindway),\"whoisthispersonthathastakentheopsitchambers,andplaystheflutesoindustrusly?\"
\"It’sMr。Dawkins,arichyounggentlemanfromOxford,andagreatfriendofMr。Blewittses,sir,\"saysI;\"theyseemtoliveineachother’srooms。\"
Mastersaidnothink,butheGRIN’D——myeye,howhedidgrin。Notthefowlfindhimselfcouldsnearmoresatannickly。
Iknewwhathemeant:
Imprimish。Amanwhoplaystheflootisasimpleton。
Secknly。Mr。Blewittisaraskle。
Thirdmo。Whenaraskleandasimpletonisalwaystogether,andwhenthesimpletonisRICH,oneknowsprettywellwhatwillcomeofit。
Iwasbutaladinthemdays,butIknewwhatwaswhat,aswellasmymaster;it’snotgentlemenonlythat’suptosnough。Lawblessus!therewasfourofusonthisstairkes,fourasniceyoungmenasyoueversee:Mr。Bruffy’syoungman,Mr。Dawkinses,Mr。
Blewitt’s,andme——andweknewwhatourmasterswasaboutaswellasthaydidtheirselfs。Frinstance,IcansaythisforMYSELF,therewasn’tapaperinDeuceace’sdeskordrawer,notabill,anote,ormimerandum,whichIhadn’treadaswellashe:withBlewitt’sitwasthesame——meandhisyoungmanusedtoread’emall。Therewasn’tabottleofwinethatwedidn’tgetaglassoutof,norapoundofsugarthatwedidn’thavesomelumpsofit。Wehadkeystoallthecubbards——wepippedintoallthelettersthatkemandwent———weporedoverallthebill—files——we’dthebestpickensoutofthedinners,thelivversofthefowls,theforcemitballsoutofthesoup,theegsfromthesallit。Asforthecoalsandcandles,weleftthemtothelandrisses。Youmaycallthisrobry——nonsince——it’sonlyourrights——asuvvant’spurquizzitsisassacredasthelawsofHengland。
Well,thelongandshortofitisthis。RichardBlewitt,esquire,wassityouatedasfollows:He’danincumofthreehundredayearfromhisfather。Outofthishehadtopayonehundredandninetyformoneyborrowedbyhimatcollidge,seventyforchambers,seventymoreforhishoss,atyforhissuvvantonbordwagis,andaboutthreehundredandfiftyforasepparatestablishmentintheRegencyPark;besidesthis,hispockit—money,sayahunderd,hiseatin,drinkin,andwine—marchant’sbill,abouttwohunderdmoar。
Sothatyouseehelaidbyaprettyhandsomesumattheendoftheyear。
Mymasterwasdiffrent;andbeingamorefashnablemanthanMr。B。,incourseheowedadealmoremony。Therewasfust:
Accountcontray,atCrockford’sL371100
BillsofxchangeandI。O。U。’s(buthedidn’tpaytheseinmostcases)496300
21tailors’bills,inall1306119
3hossdealers’do40200
2coachbuilder50600
BillscontractedatCambridtch219368
Sundries987100
————————————
L1406985
Igivethisasacurosity——pippledoan’tknowhowinmanycasesfashnabblelifeiscarriedon;andtoknowevenwhatarealgnlmnOWESissomethinkinstructifandagreeable。
Buttomytail。TheverydayaftermymasterhadmadetheinquiriesconcerningMr。Dawkins,witchImentionedalready,hemetMr。Blewittonthestairs;andbyoutiffleitwastoseehowthisgnlmn,whohadbeforebeenalmostcutbymymaster,wasnowreceivedbyhim。OneofthesweetestsmilesIeversawwasnowvizzableonMr。Deuceace’scountenance。Heheldouthishand,coveredwithawhitekidglove,andsaid,inthemostfrenlytoneofviceposbill,\"What!Mr。Blewitt?Itisanagesincewemet。
Whatashamethatsuchnearnayborsshouldseeeachothersoseldom!\"
Mr。Blewitt,whowasstandingathisdoor,inape—greendressing—
gown,smoakinasegar,andsingingahuntingcoarus,lookedsurprised,flattered,andthensuspicious。
\"Why,yes,\"sayshe,\"itis,Mr。Deuceace,alongtime。\"
\"Not,Ithink,sincewedinedatSirGeorgeHookey’s。By—the—by,whataneveningthatwas——hay,Mr。Blewitt?Whatwine!whatcapitalsongs!Irecollectyour’May—dayinthemorning’——cussme,thebestcomicksongIeverheard。IwasspeakingtotheDukeofDoncasteraboutitonlyyesterday。Youknowtheduke,Ithink?\"
Mr。Blewittsaid,quitesurly,\"No,Idon’t。\"
\"Notknowhim!\"criesmaster;\"why,hangit,Blewitt!heknowsYOU;
aseverysportingmaninEnglanddoes,Ishouldthink。Why,man,yourgoodthingsareineverybody’smouthatNewmarket。\"
AndsomasterwentonchaffinMr。Blewitt。Thatgenlmnatfustansweredhimquiteshortandangry:but,afteralittlemoreflummery,hegrewaspleasedasposbill,tookinallDeuceace’sflatry,andbleevedallhislies。Atlastthedoorshut,andtheybothwentintoMr。Blewitt’schamberstogether。
OfcourseIcan’tsaywhatpastthere;butinanhourmasterkemuptohisownroomasyallerasmustard,andsmellinsadlyofbackosmoke。Ineverseeanygenmlnmoresickthanhewas;HE’DBEEN
SMOAKINSEAGARSalongwithBlewitt。Isaidnothink,incourse,thoI’doftenheardhimxpresshishorrowofbacko,andknewverywellhewouldassoonswallowpizonassmoke。Buthewasn’tachaptodoathingwithoutareason:ifhe’dbeensmoakin,Iwarranthehadsmokedtosomeporpus。
Ididn’theartheconvysationbetwean’em;butMr。Blewitt’smandid:itwas,——\"Well,Mr。Blewitt,whatcapitalseagars!Haveyouoneforafriendtosmoak?\"(Theoldfox,itwasn’tonlytheSEAGARShewasa—smoakin!)\"Walkin,\"saysMr。Blewitt;andtheybeganachaffintogether;masterveryankshousabouttheyounggintlemanwhohadcometoliveinourchambers,Mr。Dawkins,andalwayscomingbacktothatsubject,——sayingthatpeopleonthesamestairkisottobefrenly;howgladhe’dbe,forhispart,toknowMr。DickBlewitt,andANYFRIENDOFHIS,andsoon。Mr。Dick,howsever,seamedquiteawareofthetraplaidforhim。\"Ireallydon’tknowthisDawkins,\"sayshe:he’sachismonger’sson,Ihear;
andthoI’veexchangedvisitswithhim,Idoan’tintendtocontinyoutheacquaintance,——notwishintoassoshatewiththatkindofpipple。\"Sotheywenton,masterfishin,andMr。Blewittnotwishintotakethehookatnoprice。
\"Confoundthevulgarthief!\"muttardmymaster,ashewaslayingonhissophy,afterbeingsoveryill;\"I’vepoisonedmyselfwithhisinfernaltobacco,andhehasfoiledme。Thecursedswindlingboor!
hethinkshe’llruinthispoorCheese—monger,doeshe?I’llstepin,andWARNhim。\"
IthoughtIshouldbusta—laffin,whenhetalkedinthisstyle。I
knewverywellwhathis\"warning\"meant,——lockinthestable—doorbutstealinthehossfust。
Nextday,hisstrattygamforbecomingacquaintedwithMr。Dawkinsweexicuted;andveryprittyitwas。
Besidespotryandtheflute,Mr。Dawkins,Imusttellyou,hadsomeotherparshallities——wiz。,hewasveryfondofgoodeatinanddrinkin。Afterdoddlingoverhismusicandbooxallday,thisyounggenlmnusedtosallyoutofevenings,dinesumptiouslyatatavern,drinkinallsortsofwinealongwithhisfriendMr。
Blewitt。Hewasaquietyoungfellowenoughatfust;butitwasMr。B。who(forhisownporpuses,nodoubt,)hadgothimintothiskindoflife。Well,Ineedn’tsaythathewhoeatsafinedinner,anddrinkstoomuchovernight,wantsabottleofsoda—water,andagril,praps,inthemorning。SuchwasMr。Dawkinsescase;andreglaralmostastwelveo’clockcame,thewaiterfrom\"DixCoffy—
House\"wastobeseenonourstairkis,bringingupMr。D。’shotbreakfast。
Nomanwouldhavethoughttherewasanythinkinsuchatriflingcirkumstance;masterdid,though,andpounceduponitlikeacockonabarlycorn。
HesentmeouttoMr。Morell’sinPickledilly,forwot’scalledaStrasbug—pie——inFrench,a\"pattydefaugraw。\"Hetakesacard,andnailsitontheoutsidecase(pattydefawgrawscomegenerallyinaroundwoodenbox,likeadrumb);andwhatdoyouthinkhewritesonit?why,asfollos:——\"FortheHonorableAlgernonPercyDeuceace,&c。&c。&c。WithPrinceTalleyrand’scompliments。\"
PrinceTallyram’scomplimints,indeed!IlaffwhenIthinkofit,still,theoldsurpint!HeWASasurpint,thatDeuceace,andnomistake。
Well,byamostextrornarypieceofill—luck,thenexdaypunctiallyasMr。DawkinsesbrexfaswascomingUPthestairs,Mr。
HalgernonPercyDeuceacewasgoingDOWN。Hewasasgayasalark,humminganOppratune,andtwizztingroundhisheadhishevygold—
headedcane。Downhewentveryfast,andbyamostunluckyaxdentstruckhiscaneagainstthewaiter’stray,andawaywentMr。
Dawkinsesgril,kayann,kitchup,soda—waterandall!Ican’tthinkhowmymastershouldhavechoassuchanexacttime;tobesure,hiswindolookeduponthecourt,andhecouldseeeveryonewhocameintoourdoor。
Assoonastheaxdenthadtookplace,masterwasinsucharageas,tobesure,nomaneverwasinbefor;heswoaratthewaiterinthemostdreddfleway;hethreatenedhimwithhisstick,anditwasonlywhenheseethatthewaiterwasraytherabiggermanthanhisselfthathewasintheleastpazzyfied。Hereturnedtohisownchambres;andJohn,thewaiter,wentoffformoregriltoDixesCoffy—house。
\"Thisisamostunluckyaxdent,tobesure,Charles,\"saysmastertome,afterafewminitspaws,duringwitchhehadbeenandwroteanote,putitintoananvelope,andsealeditwithhisbigsealofarms。\"Butstay——athoughtstrikesme——takethisnotetoMr。
Dawkins,andthatpyeyoubroughtyesterday;andhearkye,youscoundrel,ifyousaywhereyougotitIwillbreakeveryboneinyourskin!\"
ThesekindofpromiseswereamongthefewwhichIknewhimtokeep:
andasIlovedboathmyskinnandmyboans,Icarriedthenoat,andofcorssaidnothink。WaitinginMr。Dawkinseschambusforafewminnits,Ireturnedtomymasterwithananser。Imayaswellgivebothofthesedocumence,ofwhichIhappentohavetakencoppies:
I。
THEHON。A。P。DEUCEACETOT。S。DAWKINS,ESQ。
\"TEMPLE,Tuesday。
\"Mr。DEUCEACEpresentshiscomplimentstoMr。Dawkins,andbegsatthesametimetoofferhismostsincereapologiesandregretsfortheaccidentwhichhasjusttakenplace。
\"MayMr。Deuceacebeallowedtotakeaneighbor’sprivilege,andtoremedytheevilhehasoccasionedtothebestofhispowerifMr。
Dawkinswilldohimthefavortopartakeofthecontentsoftheaccompanyingcase(fromStrasbourgdirect,andthegiftofafriend,onwhosetasteasagourmandMr。Dawkinsmayrely),perhapshewillfindthatitisnotabadsubstitutefortheplatwhichMr。
Deuceace’sawkwardnessdestroyed。
\"Itwillalso,Mr。Deuceaceissure,benosmallgratificationtotheoriginaldonorofthe’pate’,whenhelearnsthatithasfallenintothehandsofsocelebratedabonvivantasMr。Dawkins。
\"T。S。DAWKINS,Esq。,&c。&c。&c。\"
II。
FROMT。S。DAWKINS,ESQ。,TOTHEHON。A。P。DEUCEACE。
\"MR。THOMASSMITHDAWKINSpresentshisgratefulcomplimentstotheHon。Mr。Deuceace,andacceptswiththegreatestpleasureMr。
Deuceace’sgenerousproffer。
\"ItwouldbeoneoftheHAPPIESTMOMENTSofMr。SmithDawkins’slife,iftheHon。Mr。DeuceacewouldEXTENDHISGENEROSITYstillfurther,andcondescendtopartakeoftherepastwhichhisMUNIFICENTPOLITENESShasfurnished。
\"TEMPLE,Tuesday。\"
Manyandmanyatime,Isay,haveIgrin’dovertheseletters,whichIhadwrotefromtheoriginalbyMr。Bruffy’scopyinclark。
Deuceace’sflamaboutPrinceTallyramwaspufficklysuccessful。I
sawyoungDawkinsblushwithdeliteasheredthenote;hetoarupfororfivesheetsbeforehecomposedtheanswertoit,whichwasasyouredabuff,androatinahandquitetremblingwithpleasyer。
IfyoucouldbuthaveseenthelookoftriumphinDeuceace’swickedblackeyes,whenhereadthenoat!Ineverseeadeaminyet,butI
canphansy1,aholdingawrithingsoalonhispitchfrock,andsmilinlikeDeuceace。Hedressedhimselfinhisverybestclothes,andinhewent,aftersendingmeovertosaythathewouldexceptwithpleasyourMr。Dawkins’sinvite。
Thepiewascutup,andamostfrenlyconversationbegunbetwixtthetwogenlmin。Deuceacewasquitecaptivating。HespoketoMr。
Dawkinsinthemostrespeckfulandflatrinmanner,——agreadineverythinkhesaid,——prazedhistaste,hisfurniter,hiscoat,hisclassicknolledge,andhisplayinonthefloot;you’dhavethought,tohearhim,thatsuchapolygonofexlensasDawkinsdidnotbreath,——thatsuchamodist,sinsear,honrabblegenlmnasDeuceacewastobeseennowherexceptinPumpCort。PoorDawwascomplitlytakenin。Mymastersaidhe’dintroducehimtotheDukeofDoncaster,andheavenknowshowmanynobsmore,tillDawkinswasquiteintawsicatedwithpleasyour。Iknowasafac(anditprettywellshowstheyounggenlmn’scarryter),thathewentthatverydayandordered2newcoats,onporpostobeintrojuicedtothelordsin。
Butthebestjoakofallwasatlast。Singin,swagrin,andswarink——upstarescameMr。DickBlewitt。HeflungopnMr。
Dawkins’sdoor,shoutingout,\"Dawmyoldbuck,howareyou?\"when,allofasudden,heseesMr。Deuceace:hisjordropt,heturnedchockywhite,andthenburninred,andlookedasifastrorwouldknockhimdown。\"MydearMr。Blewitt,\"saysmymaster,smilinandoffringhishand,\"howgladIamtoseeyou。Mr。DawkinsandI
werejusttalkingaboutyourpony!Praysitdown。\"
Blewittdid;andnowwasthequestion,whoshouldsittheotherout;butlawblessyou!Mr。Blewittwasnomatchformymaster:allthetimehewasfidgetty,silent,andsulky;onthecontry,masterwascharmin。Ineverherdsuchafloofconversatin,orsomanywittacismsasheuttered。Atlast,completelybeat,Mr。Blewitttookhisleaf;thatinstantmasterfollowedhim;andpassinhisarmthroughthatofMr。Dick,ledhimintoourchambers,andbegantalkintohiminthemostaffablandaffeckshnatmanner。
ButDickwastooangrytolisten;atlast,whenmasterwastellinghimsomelongstoryabouttheDukeofDoncaster,Blewittburstout——
AplagueontheDukeofDoncaster!Come,come,Mr。Deuceace,don’tyouberunningyourrigsuponme;Iain’tthemantobebamboozl’dbylong—windedstoriesaboutdukesandduchesses。YouthinkI
don’tknowyou;everymanknowsyouandyourlineofcountry。Yes,you’reafteryoungDawkinsthere,andthinktopluckhim;butyoushan’t,——no,by————youshan’t。\"(ThereadermustrecklectthattheoathswhichinterspussedMr。B。’sconvysationIhaveleftout。)
Well,afterhe’dfiredawolleyof’em,Mr。Deuceacespokeascoolaspossbill。
\"Harkye,Blewitt。Iknowyoutobeoneofthemostinfernalthievesandscoundrelsunhung。Ifyouattempttohectorwithme,I
willcaneyou;ifyouwantmore,I’llshootyou;ifyoumeddlebetweenmeandDawkins,Iwilldoboth。Iknowyourwholelife,youmiserableswindlerandcoward。Iknowyouhavealreadywontwohundredpoundsofthislad,andwantall。Iwillhavehalf,oryounevershallhaveapenny。\"It’squitetruethatmasterknewthings;buthowwasthewonder。
Icouldn’tseeMr。B。’sfaceduringthisdialogue,beinonthewrongsideofthedoor;buttherewasaconsiddrablepawsafterthusecomplymintshadpassedbetweenthetwogenlmn,——onewalkinquicklyupanddowntheroom——tother,angryandstupid,sittindown,andstampinwithhisfoot。
\"Nowlistentothis,Mr。Blewitt,\"continuesmasteratlast。\"Ifyou’requiet,youshallhavehalfthisfellow’smoney:butventuretowinashillingfromhiminmyabsence,orwithoutmyconsent,andyoudoitatyourperil。\"
\"Well,well,Mr。Deuceace,\"criesDick,\"it’sveryhard,andImustsay,notfair:thegamewasofmystartin,andyou’venorighttointerferewithmyfriend。\"
\"Mr。Blewitt,youareafool!Youprofessedyesterdaynottoknowthisman,andIwasobligedtofindhimoutformyself。IshouldliketoknowbywhatlawofhonorIamboundtogivehimuptoyou?\"
ItwascharmintohearthispairofrasklestalkinaboutHONOR。I
declareIcouldhavefounditinmyhearttowarnyoungDawkinsofthepreciouswayinwhichthesechapsweregoingtoservehim。ButifTHEYdidn’tknowwhathonorwas,Idid;andnever,neverdidI
telltailsaboutmymasterswhenintheirsarvice——OUT,incors,thehobligationisnolongerbinding。
Well,thenexdaytherewasagrandinneratourchambers。Whitesoop,turbit,andlobstirsos;saddilofScochmuttn,grous,andM’Arony;wines,shampang,hock,maderia,abottleofpoart,andeversomanyofclarrit。Thecompnypresintwasthree;wiz。,theHonrabbleA。P。Deuceace,R。Blewitt,andMr。Dawkins,Exquires。
Myi,howwegenlmninthekitchindidenjyit。Mr。Blewittesmaneatsomuchgrous(whenitwasbrotoutoftheparlor),thatI
reelythoughthewouldbesik;Mr。Dawkinsesgenlmn(whowasonlyabowt13yearsofage)grewsoilwithM’Aronyandplumb—puddn,astobeobleegedtotakesefralofMr。D’s。pils,which1/2kildhim。
Butthisisallpromiscuous:Ian’ttalkinofthesurvantsnow,butthemasters。
Wouldyoubleeveit?Afterdinnerandpraps8bottlesofwinebetweenthe3,thegenlmsatdowntoecarty。It’sagamewhereonly2plays,andwhere,incoarse,whenthere’sonly3,onelookson。
Fust,theyplaydcrownpints,andapoundthebett。Atthisgametheywerewonderfulequill;andaboutsupper—time(whengrilledam,moreshampang,devldbiskits,andotherthings,wasbrotin)theplaystoodthus:Mr。Dawkinshadwon2pounds;Mr。Blewitt30
shillings;theHonrabbleMr。Deuceacehavinglost3L。l0s。Afterthedevvleandtheshampangtheplaywasalittlehigher。Nowitwaspoundpints,andfivepoundthebet。Ithought,tobesure,afterhearingthecomplymintsbetweenBlewittandmasterinthemorning,thatnowpoorDawkins’stimewascome。
Notso:Dawkinswonalways,Mr。B。bettingonhisplay,andgivinghimtheverybestofadvice。Attheendoftheevening(whichwasabowtfiveo’clockthenexmorning)theystopt。Masterwascountinguptheskoreonacard。
\"Blewitt,\"sayshe,\"I’vebeenunlucky。Ioweyou,letmesee——
yes,five—and—fortypounds?\"
\"Five—and—forty,\"saysBlewitt,\"andnomistake!\"
\"Iwillgiveyouacheque,\"saysthehonrabblegenlmn。
\"Oh!don’tmentionit,mydearsir!\"Butmastergotagratesheetofpaper,anddrewhimacheckonMesseers。Pump,AlgitandCo。,hisbankers。
\"Now,\"saysmaster,\"I’vegottosettlewithyou,mydearMr。
Dawkins。Ifyouhadbackdyourluck,Ishouldhaveowedyouaveryhandsomesumofmoney。Voyons,thirteenpointsatapound——itiseasytocalculate;\"anddrawinouthispuss,heclinkedoverthetable13gooldensuverings,whichshontilltheymademyeyeswink。
SodidporeDawkinses,asheputouthishand,alltrembling,anddrewthemin。
\"Letmesay,\"addedmaster,\"letmesay(andI’vehadsomelittleexperience),thatyouaretheverybestecarteplayerwithwhomI
eversatdown。\"
Dawkinseseyesglissenedasheputthemoneyup,andsaid,\"Law,Deuceace,youflatterme。\"
FLATTERhim!Ishouldthinkhedid。Itwastheverythinkwhichmasterment。
\"Butmindyou,Dawkins,\"continyoudhe,\"Imusthavemyrevenge;
forI’mruined——positivelyruinedbyyourluck。\"
\"Well,well,\"saysMr。ThomasSmithDawkins,aspleasedasifhehadgainedamillium,\"shallitbeto—morrow?Blewitt,whatsayyou?\"
Mr。Blewittagreed,incourse。Mymaster,afteralittledemurring,consentedtoo。\"We’llmeet,\"sayshe,\"atyourchambers。Butmind,mydearfello,nottoomuchwine:Ican’tstanditatanytime,especiallywhenIhavetoplayecartewithYOU。\"
PoreDawkinsleftourroomsashappyasaprins。\"Here,Charles,\"
sayshe,andflungmeasovring。Porefellow!porefellow!Iknewwhatwasa—comin!
Butthebestofitwas,thatthese13sovringswhichDawkinswon,MASTERHADBORROWEDTHEMFROMMR。BLEWITT!Ibrought’em,with7
more,fromthatyounggenlmn’schambersthatverymorning:for,sincehisinterviewwithmaster,Blewitthadnothingtorefusehim。
Well,shallIcontinuethetail?IfMr。Dawkinshadbeentheleastbitwiser,itwouldhavetakenhimsixmonthsbefoarhelosthismoney;asitwas,hewassuchaconfundedninny,thatittookhimaveryshorttimetopartwithit。
Nexday(itwasThursday,andmaster’sacquaintancewithMr。
DawkinshadonlycommencedonTuesday),Mr。Dawkins,asIsaid,gevhisparty,——dinnerat7。Mr。BlewittandthetwoMr。D。’sasbefoar。Playbeginsat11。ThistimeIknewthebisnesswasprettyserious,forwesuvvantswaspackedofftobedat2o’clock。
OnFriday,Iwenttochambers——nomaster——hekeminfor5minutesatabout12,madealittletoilit,orderedmoredevvlesandsoda—
water,andbackagainhewenttoMr。Dawkins’s。
Theyhaddinnerthereat7again,butnobodyseamedtoeat,forallthevittlescameouttousgenlmn:theyhadinmorewinethough,andmusthavedrunkatleasttwodozeninthe36hours。
Atteno’clock,however,onFridaynight,backmymastercametohischambers。IsawhimasIneversawhimbefore,namlyreglardrunk。Hestaggeredabouttheroom,hedanced,hehickipd,heswoar,heflungmeaheapofsilver,and,finely,hesunkdownexostedonhisbed;Ipullinoffhisbootsandclose,andmakinghimcomfrabble。
WhenIhadremovedhisgarmints,Ididwhatit’sthedutyofeveryservanttodo——Iemtiedhispockits,andlookedathispockit—bookandallhisletters:anumberofaxdentshavebeenpreventedthatway。
Ifoundthere,amongaheapofthings,thefollowingprettydockyment——
I。O。U。
L4700。
THOMASSMITHDAWKINS。
Friday,16thJanuary。
Therewasanotherbitofpaperofthesamekind——\"I。0。U。fourhundredpounds:RichardBlewitt:\"butthis,incorse,mentnothink……
Nexmornin,atnine,masterwasup,andassoberasajudg。Hedrest,andwasofftoMr。Dawkins。Atten,heorderedacab,andthetwogentlmnwenttogether。
\"Whereshallhedrive,sir?\"saysI。
\"Oh,tellhimtodrivetoTHEBANK。\"
PoreDawkins!hiseyesredwithremorsandsleeplissdrunkenniss,gaveashudderandasob,ashesunkbackinthewehicle;andtheydroveon。
Thatdayhesoldouteveryhapnyhewasworth,xceptfivehundredpounds……
Abowt12masterhadreturned,andMr。DickBlewittcamestridinupthestairswithasollumandimportanthair。
\"Isyourmasterathome?\"sayshe。
\"Yes,sir,\"saysI;andinhewalks。I,incoars,withmyeartothekeyhole,listningwithallmymite。
\"Well,\"saysBlewitt,\"wemaidaprettygoodnightofit,Mr。
Deuceace。Yu’vesettled,Isee,withDawkins。\"
\"Settled!\"saysmaster。\"Oh,yes——yes——I’vesettledwithhim。\"
\"Fourthousandsevenhundred,Ithink?\"
\"Aboutthat——yes。\"
\"Thatmakesmyshare——letmesee——twothousandthreehundredandfifty;whichI’llthankyoutoforkout。\"
\"Uponmyword——why——Mr。Blewitt,\"saysmaster,\"Idon’treallyunderstandwhatyoumean。\"
\"YOUDON’TKNOWWHATIMEAN!\"saysBlewitt,inanaxentsuchasI
neverbeforeheard。\"Youdon’tknowwhatImean!Didyounotpromisemethatweweretogoshares?Didn’tIlendyoutwentysovereignstheothernighttopayourlosingstoDawkins?Didn’tyouswear,onyourhonorasagentleman,togivemehalfofallthatmightbewoninthisaffair?\"
\"Agreed,sir,\"saysDeuceace;\"agreed。\"
\"Well,sir,andnowwhathaveyoutosay?\"
\"Why,THATIDON’TINTENDTOKEEPMYPROMISE!Youinfernalfoolandninny!doyousupposeIwaslaboringforYOU?DoyoufancyI
wasgoingtotheexpenseofgivingadinnertothatjackassyonder,thatyoushouldprofitbyit?Getaway,sir!Leavetheroom,sir!
Or,stop——here——Iwillgiveyoufourhundredpounds——yourownnoteofhand,sir,forthatsum,ifyouwillconsenttoforgetallthathaspassedbetweenus,andthatyouhaveneverknownMr。AlgernonDeuceace。\"
I’veseenpippleangerybeforenow,butneveranylikeBlewitt。Hestormed,groaned,belloed,swoar!Atlast,hefairlybeganblubbring;nowcussingandnashinghisteeth,nowprayingdearMr。
Deuceacetogranthimmercy。
Atlast,masterflungopenthedoor(heavenblessus!it’swellI
didn’ttumblehedovereelsintotheroom!),andsaid,\"Charles,showthegentlemandownstairs!\"Mymasterlookedathimquitesteddy。Blewittslunkdown,asmisrabbleasanymanIeversee。
AsforDawkins,heavenknowswherehewas!……
\"Charles,\"saysmymastertome,aboutanhourafterwards,\"I’mgoingtoParis;youmaycome,too,ifyouplease。\"
FORINGPARTS。
Itwasasingularproofofmymaster’smodesty,thatthoughhehadwonthisandsomesumofMr。Dawkins,andwasinclinedtobeasextravygantandosntatiousasanymanIeverseed,yet,whenhedeterminedongoingtoParis,hedidn’tletasinglefrendknowofallthemwinningsofhis;didn’tacquaintmyLordCrabshisfather,thathewasabouttoleavehisnatiffshoars——neigh——didn’tevensomuchascalltogetherhistradesmin,andpayofftheirlittlebillsbeforhisdeparture。
Onthecontry,\"Chawles,\"saidhetome,\"stickapieceofpaperonmydoor,\"whichisthewaythatlawyersdo,\"andwrite’Backatseven’uponit。\"BackatsevenIwrote,andstuckitonourouteroak。AndsomistearuswasDeuceaceabouthiscontinentaltour(toallexceptme),thatwhenthelandrissbroughthimheraccountforthelastmonth(amountain,attheveryleast,to2L。10s。),mastertoldhertoleaveittillMondaymorning,whenitshouldbeproperlysettled。It’sextrodnyhowickonomicalamanbecomes,whenhe’sgotfivethousandlbs。inhispockit。
Backat7indeed!At7wewerea—roalinontheDoverRoad,intheReglatorCoach——masterinside,meout。Astrangecompanyofpeopletherewas,too,inthatwehicle,——3sailors;anItalyinwithhismusic—boxandmunky;amissionary,goingtoconverttheheathensinFrance;2oppragirls(theycall’emfigure—aunts),andthefigure—
aunts’mothersinside;4Frenchmin,withgingybredcapsandmustashes,singing,chattering,andjesticklatinginthemostvonderfulvay。Suchcomplimentsaspassedbetweenthemandthefigure—aunts!suchamunshinofbiskitsandsippinofbrandy!such\"OmongJews,\"and\"Osacrrres,\"and\"killfayfrwaws!\"Ididn’tunderstandtheirlanguidgeatthattime,soofcoursecan’tigsplainmuchoftheirconwersation;butitpleasedme,nevertheless,fornowIfeltthatIwasreelygoingintoforingparts:which,eversinsIhadhadanyedicationatall,wasalwaysmyfondestwish。