\"Wasn’titarag？\"hesaid。\"Suchasimpleidea——notmyown。I
haven’tgotthebrains。Yousee，Iwantedtogointothedetectiveservice，especiallytheanti—dynamitebusiness。Butforthatpurposetheywantedsomeonetodressupasadynamiter;andtheyallsworebyblazesthatIcouldneverlooklikeadynamiter。Theysaidmyverywalkwasrespectable，andthatseenfrombehindI
lookedliketheBritishConstitution。TheysaidIlookedtoohealthyandtoooptimistic，andtooreliableandbenevolent;theycalledmeallsortsofnamesatScotlandYard。TheysaidthatifI
hadbeenacriminal，Imighthavemademyfortunebylookingsolikeanhonestman;butasIhadthemisfortunetobeanhonestman，therewasnoteventheremotestchanceofmyassistingthembyeverlookinglikeacriminal。ButaslastIwasbroughtbeforesomeoldjosserwhowashighupintheforce，andwhoseemedtohavenoendofaheadonhisshoulders。Andtheretheothersalltalkedhopelessly。Oneaskedwhetherabushybeardwouldhidemynicesmile;anothersaidthatiftheyblackedmyfaceImightlooklikeanegroanarchist;butthisoldchapchippedinwithamostextraordinaryremark。’Apairofsmokedspectacleswilldoit，’hesaidpositively。’Lookathimnow;helookslikeanangelicofficeboy。Puthimonapairofsmokedspectacles，andchildrenwillscreamatthesightofhim。’Andsoitwas，byGeorge！Whenoncemyeyeswerecovered，alltherest，smileandbigshouldersandshorthair，mademelookaperfectlittledevil。AsIsay，itwassimpleenoughwhenitwasdone，likemiracles;butthatwasn’tthereallymiraculouspartofit。Therewasonereallystaggeringthingaboutthebusiness，andmyheadstillturnsatit。\"
\"Whatwasthat？\"askedSyme。
\"I’lltellyou，\"answeredthemaninspectacles。\"Thisbigpotinthepolicewhosizedmeupsothatheknewhowthegoggleswouldgowithmyhairandsocks——byGod，heneversawmeatall！\"
Syme’seyessuddenlyflashedonhim。
\"Howwasthat？\"heasked。\"Ithoughtyoutalkedtohim。\"
\"SoIdid，\"saidBullbrightly;\"butwetalkedinapitch—darkroomlikeacoalcellar。There，youwouldneverhaveguessedthat。\"
\"Icouldnothaveconceivedit，\"saidSymegravely。
\"Itisindeedanewidea，\"saidtheProfessor。
Theirnewallywasinpracticalmattersawhirlwind。AttheinquiryofficeheaskedwithbusinesslikebrevityaboutthetrainsforDover。Havinggothisinformation，hebundledthecompanyintoacab，andputthemandhimselfinsidearailwaycarriagebeforetheyhadproperlyrealisedthebreathlessprocess。TheywerealreadyontheCalaisboatbeforeconversationflowedfreely。
\"Ihadalreadyarranged，\"heexplained，\"togotoFranceformylunch;butIamdelightedtohavesomeonetolunchwithme。Yousee，Ihadtosendthatbeast，theMarquis，overwithhisbomb，becausethePresidenthadhiseyeonme，thoughGodknowshow。
I’lltellyouthestorysomeday。Itwasperfectlychoking。
WheneverItriedtoslipoutofitIsawthePresidentsomewhere，smilingoutofthebow—windowofaclub，ortakingoffhishattomefromthetopofanomnibus。Itellyou，youcansaywhatyoulike，thatfellowsoldhimselftothedevil;hecanbeinsixplacesatonce。\"
\"SoyousenttheMarquisoff，Iunderstand，\"askedtheProfessor。
\"Wasitlongago？Shallwebeintimetocatchhim？\"
\"Yes，\"answeredthenewguide，\"I’vetimeditall。He’llstillbeatCalaiswhenwearrive。\"
\"ButwhenwedocatchhimatCalais，\"saidtheProfessor，\"whatarewegoingtodo？\"
AtthisquestionthecountenanceofDr。Bullfellforthefirsttime。Hereflectedalittle，andthensaid——
\"Theoretically，Isuppose，weoughttocallthepolice。\"
\"NotI，\"saidSyme。\"TheoreticallyIoughttodrownmyselffirst。I
promisedapoorfellow，whowasarealmodernpessimist，onmywordofhonournottotellthepolice。I’mnohandatcasuistry，butI
can’tbreakmywordtoamodernpessimist。It’slikebreakingone’swordtoachild。\"
\"I’minthesameboat，\"saidtheProfessor。\"ItriedtotellthepoliceandIcouldn’t，becauseofsomesillyoathItook。Yousee，whenIwasanactorIwasasortofall—roundbeast。PerjuryortreasonistheonlycrimeIhaven’tcommitted。IfIdidthatI
shouldn’tknowthedifferencebetweenrightandwrong。\"
\"I’vebeenthroughallthat，\"saidDr。Bull，\"andI’vemadeupmymind。IgavemypromisetotheSecretary——youknowhim，manwhosmilesupsidedown。Myfriends，thatmanisthemostutterlyunhappymanthatwaseverhuman。Itmaybehisdigestion，orhisconscience，orhisnerves，orhisphilosophyoftheuniverse，buthe’sdamned，he’sinhell！Well，Ican’tturnonamanlikethat，andhunthimdown。It’slikewhippingaleper。Imaybemad，butthat’showIfeel;andthere’sjollywelltheendofit。\"
\"Idon’tthinkyou’remad，\"saidSyme。\"Iknewyouwoulddecidelikethatwhenfirstyou——\"
\"Eh？\"saidDr。Bull。
\"Whenfirstyoutookoffyourspectacles。\"
Dr。Bullsmiledalittle，andstrolledacrossthedecktolookatthesunlitsea。Thenhestrolledbackagain，kickinghisheelscarelessly，andacompanionablesilencefellbetweenthethreemen。
\"Well，\"saidSyme，\"itseemsthatwehaveallthesamekindofmoralityorimmorality，sowehadbetterfacethefactthatcomesofit。\"
\"Yes，\"assentedtheProfessor，\"you’requiteright;andwemusthurryup，forIcanseetheGreyNosestandingoutfromFrance。\"
\"Thefactthatcomesofit，\"saidSymeseriously，\"isthis，thatwethreearealoneonthisplanet。Gogolhasgone，Godknowswhere;
perhapsthePresidenthassmashedhimlikeafly。OntheCouncilwearethreemenagainstthree，liketheRomanswhoheldthebridge。
Butweareworseoffthanthat，firstbecausetheycanappealtotheirorganizationandwecannotappealtoours，andsecondbecause——\"
\"Becauseoneofthoseotherthreemen，\"saidtheProfessor，\"isnotaman。\"
Symenoddedandwassilentforasecondortwo，thenhesaid——
\"Myideaisthis。WemustdosomethingtokeeptheMarquisinCalaistilltomorrowmidday。Ihaveturnedovertwentyschemesinmyhead。Wecannotdenouncehimasadynamiter;thatisagreed。Wecannotgethimdetainedonsometrivialcharge，forweshouldhavetoappear;heknowsus，andhewouldsmellarat。Wecannotpretendtokeephimonanarchistbusiness;hemightswallowmuchinthatway，butnotthenotionofstoppinginCalaiswhiletheCzarwentsafelythroughParis。Wemighttrytokidnaphim，andlockhimupourselves;butheisawell—knownmanhere。Hehasawholebodyguardoffriends;heisverystrongandbrave，andtheeventisdoubtful。TheonlythingIcanseetodoisactuallytotakeadvantageoftheverythingsthatareintheMarquis’sfavour。Iamgoingtoprofitbythefactthatheisahighlyrespectednobleman。
Iamgoingtoprofitbythefactthathehasmanyfriendsandmovesinthebestsociety。\"
\"Whatthedevilareyoutalkingabout？\"askedtheProfessor。
\"TheSymesarefirstmentionedinthefourteenthcentury，\"saidSyme;\"butthereisatraditionthatoneofthemrodebehindBruceatBannockburn。Since1350thetreeisquiteclear。\"
\"He’sgoneoffhishead，\"saidthelittleDoctor，staring。
\"Ourbearings，\"continuedSymecalmly，\"are’argentachevronguleschargedwiththreecrosscrossletsofthefield。’Themottovaries。\"
TheProfessorseizedSymeroughlybythewaistcoat。
\"Wearejustinshore，\"hesaid。\"Areyouseasickorjokinginthewrongplace？\"
\"Myremarksarealmostpainfullypractical，\"answeredSyme，inanunhurriedmanner。\"ThehouseofSt。Eustachealsoisveryancient。
TheMarquiscannotdenythatheisagentleman。HecannotdenythatIamagentleman。Andinordertoputthematterofmysocialpositionquitebeyondadoubt，Iproposeattheearliestopportunitytoknockhishatoff。Buthereweareintheharbour。\"
Theywentonshoreunderthestrongsuninasortofdaze。Syme，whohadnowtakentheleadasBullhadtakenitinLondon，ledthemalongakindofmarineparadeuntilhecametosomecafes，emboweredinabulkofgreeneryandoverlookingthesea。Ashewentbeforethemhisstepwasslightlyswaggering，andheswunghissticklikeasword。Hewasmakingapparentlyfortheextremeendofthelineofcafes，buthestoppedabruptly。Withasharpgesturehemotionedthemtosilence，buthepointedwithoneglovedfingertoacafetableunderabankoffloweringfoliageatwhichsattheMarquisdeSt。Eustache，histeethshininginhisthick，blackbeard，andhisbold，brownfaceshadowedbyalightyellowstrawhatandoutlinedagainstthevioletsea。
CHAPTERX
THEDUEL
SYMEsatdownatacafetablewithhiscompanions，hisblueeyessparklinglikethebrightseabelow，andorderedabottleofSaumurwithapleasedimpatience。Hewasforsomereasoninaconditionofcurioushilarity。Hisspiritswerealreadyunnaturallyhigh;theyroseastheSaumursank，andinhalfanhourhistalkwasatorrentofnonsense。HeprofessedtobemakingoutaplanoftheconversationwhichwasgoingtoensuebetweenhimselfandthedeadlyMarquis。Hejotteditdownwildlywithapencil。Itwasarrangedlikeaprintedcatechism，withquestionsandanswers，andwasdeliveredwithanextraordinaryrapidityofutterance。
\"Ishallapproach。Beforetakingoffhishat，Ishalltakeoffmyown。Ishallsay，’TheMarquisdeSaintEustache，Ibelieve。’Hewillsay，’ThecelebratedMr。Syme，Ipresume。’HewillsayinthemostexquisiteFrench，’Howareyou？’IshallreplyinthemostexquisiteCockney，’Oh，justtheSyme——’\"
\"Oh，shutit，\"saidthemaninspectacles。\"Pullyourselftogether，andchuckawaythatbitofpaper。Whatareyoureallygoingtodo？\"
\"Butitwasalovelycatechism，\"saidSymepathetically。\"Doletmereadityou。Ithasonlyforty—threequestionsandanswers，andsomeoftheMarquis’sanswersarewonderfullywitty。Iliketobejusttomyenemy。\"
\"Butwhat’sthegoodofitall？\"askedDr。Bullinexasperation。
\"Itleadsuptomychallenge，don’tyousee，\"saidSyme，beaming。
\"WhentheMarquishasgiventhethirty—ninthreply，whichruns——\"
\"Hasitbyanychanceoccurredtoyou，\"askedtheProfessor，withaponderoussimplicity，\"thattheMarquismaynotsayalltheforty—threethingsyouhaveputdownforhim？Inthatcase，I
understand，yourownepigramsmayappearsomewhatmoreforced。\"
Symestruckthetablewitharadiantface。
\"Why，howtruethatis，\"hesaid，\"andIneverthoughtofit。Sir，youhaveanintellectbeyondthecommon。Youwillmakeaname。\"
\"Oh，you’reasdrunkasanowl！\"saidtheDoctor。
\"Itonlyremains，\"continuedSymequiteunperturbed，\"toadoptsomeothermethodofbreakingtheice（ifImaysoexpressit）
betweenmyselfandthemanIwishtokill。Andsincethecourseofadialoguecannotbepredictedbyoneofitspartiesalone（asyouhavepointedoutwithsuchreconditeacumen），theonlythingtobedone，Isuppose，isfortheoneparty，asfaraspossible，todoallthedialoguebyhimself。AndsoIwill，byGeorge！\"Andhestoodupsuddenly，hisyellowhairblowingintheslightseabreeze。
Abandwasplayinginacafechantanthiddensomewhereamongthetrees，andawomanhadjuststoppedsinging。OnSyme’sheatedheadthebrayofthebrassbandseemedlikethejarandjingleofthatbarrel—organinLeicesterSquare，tothetuneofwhichhehadoncestooduptodie。HelookedacrosstothelittletablewheretheMarquissat。Themanhadtwocompanionsnow，solemnFrenchmeninfrock—coatsandsilkhats，oneofthemwiththeredrosetteoftheLegionofHonour，evidentlypeopleofasolidsocialposition。
Besidestheseblack，cylindricalcostumes，theMarquis，inhisloosestrawhatandlightspringclothes，lookedBohemianandevenbarbaric;buthelookedtheMarquis。Indeed，onemightsaythathelookedtheking，withhisanimalelegance，hisscornfuleyes，andhisproudheadliftedagainstthepurplesea。ButhewasnoChristianking，atanyrate;hewas，rather，someswarthydespot，halfGreek，halfAsiatic，whointhedayswhenslaveryseemednaturallookeddownontheMediterranean，onhisgalleyandhisgroaningslaves。Justso，Symethought，wouldthebrown—goldfaceofsuchatyranthaveshownagainstthedarkgreenolivesandtheburningblue。
\"Areyougoingtoaddressthemeeting？\"askedtheProfessorpeevishly，seeingthatSymestillstoodupwithoutmoving。
Symedrainedhislastglassofsparklingwine。
\"Iam，\"hesaid，pointingacrosstotheMarquisandhiscompanions，\"thatmeeting。Thatmeetingdispleasesme。Iamgoingtopullthatmeeting’sgreatugly，mahogany—colourednose。\"
Hesteppedacrossswiftly，ifnotquitesteadily。TheMarquis，seeinghim，archedhisblackAssyrianeyebrowsinsurprise，butsmiledpolitely。
\"YouareMr。Syme，Ithink，\"hesaid。
Symebowed。
\"AndyouaretheMarquisdeSaintEustache，\"hesaidgracefully。
\"Permitmetopullyournose。\"
Heleantovertodoso，buttheMarquisstartedbackwards，upsettinghischair，andthetwomenintophatsheldSymebackbytheshoulders。
\"Thismanhasinsultedme！\"saidSyme，withgesturesofexplanation。
\"Insultedyou？\"criedthegentlemanwiththeredrosette，\"when？\"
\"Oh，justnow，\"saidSymerecklessly。\"Heinsultedmymother。\"
\"Insultedyourmother！\"exclaimedthegentlemanincredulously。
\"Well，anyhow，\"saidSyme，concedingapoint，\"myaunt。\"
\"ButhowcantheMarquishaveinsultedyourauntjustnow？\"saidthesecondgentlemanwithsomelegitimatewonder。\"Hehasbeensittinghereallthetime。\"
\"Ah，itwaswhathesaid！\"saidSymedarkly。
\"Isaidnothingatall，\"saidtheMarquis，\"exceptsomethingabouttheband。IonlysaidthatIlikedWagnerplayedwell。\"
\"Itwasanallusiontomyfamily，\"saidSymefirmly。\"MyauntplayedWagnerbadly。Itwasapainfulsubject。Wearealwaysbeinginsultedaboutit。\"
\"Thisseemsmostextraordinary，\"saidthegentlemanwhowasdecore，lookingdoubtfullyattheMarquis。
\"Oh，Iassureyou，\"saidSymeearnestly，\"thewholeofyourconversationwassimplypackedwithsinisterallusionstomyaunt’sweaknesses。\"
\"Thisisnonsense！\"saidthesecondgentleman。\"IforonehavesaidnothingforhalfanhourexceptthatIlikedthesingingofthatgirlwithblackhair。\"
\"Well，thereyouareagain！\"saidSymeindignantly。\"Myaunt’swasred。\"
\"Itseemstome，\"saidtheother，\"thatyouaresimplyseekingapretexttoinsulttheMarquis。\"
\"ByGeorge！\"saidSyme，facingroundandlookingathim，\"whatacleverchapyouare！\"
TheMarquisstartedupwitheyesflaminglikeatiger’s。
\"Seekingaquarrelwithme！\"hecried。\"Seekingafightwithme！ByGod！therewasneveramanwhohadtoseeklong。Thesegentlemenwillperhapsactforme。Therearestillfourhoursofdaylight。
Letusfightthisevening。\"
Symebowedwithaquitebeautifulgraciousness。
\"Marquis，\"hesaid，\"youractionisworthyofyourfameandblood。
PermitmetoconsultforamomentwiththegentlemeninwhosehandsIshallplacemyself。\"
Inthreelongstridesherejoinedhiscompanions，andthey，whohadseenhischampagne—inspiredattackandlistenedtohisidioticexplanations，werequitestartledatthelookofhim。Fornowthathecamebacktothemhewasquitesober，alittlepale，andhespokeinalowvoiceofpassionatepracticality。
\"Ihavedoneit，\"hesaidhoarsely。\"Ihavefixedafightonthebeast。Butlookhere，andlistencarefully。Thereisnotimefortalk。Youaremyseconds，andeverythingmustcomefromyou。Nowyoumustinsist，andinsistabsolutely，ontheduelcomingoffafterseventomorrow，soastogivemethechanceofpreventinghimfromcatchingthe7。45forParis。Ifhemissesthathemisseshiscrime。Hecan’trefusetomeetyouonsuchasmallpointoftimeandplace。Butthisiswhathewilldo。Hewillchooseafieldsomewherenearawaysidestation，wherehecanpickupthetrain。
Heisaverygoodswordsman，andhewilltrusttokillingmeintimetocatchit。ButIcanfencewelltoo，andIthinkIcankeephiminplay，atanyrate，untilthetrainislost。Thenperhapshemaykillmetoconsolehisfeelings。Youunderstand？Verywellthen，letmeintroduceyoutosomecharmingfriendsofmine，\"andleadingthemquicklyacrosstheparade，hepresentedthemtotheMarquis’ssecondsbytwoveryaristocraticnamesofwhichtheyhadnotpreviouslyheard。
Symewassubjecttospasmsofsingularcommonsense，nototherwiseapartofhischaracter。Theywere（ashesaidofhisimpulseaboutthespectacles）poeticintuitions，andtheysometimesrosetotheexaltationofprophecy。
Hehadcorrectlycalculatedinthiscasethepolicyofhisopponent。WhentheMarquiswasinformedbyhissecondsthatSymecouldonlyfightinthemorning，hemustfullyhaverealisedthatanobstaclehadsuddenlyarisenbetweenhimandhisbomb—throwingbusinessinthecapital。Naturallyhecouldnotexplainthisobjectiontohisfriends，sohechosethecoursewhichSymehadpredicted。Heinducedhissecondstosettleonasmallmeadownotfarfromtherailway，andhetrustedtothefatalityofthefirstengagement。
Whenhecamedownverycoollytothefieldofhonour，noonecouldhaveguessedthathehadanyanxietyaboutajourney;hishandswereinhispockets，hisstrawhatonthebackofhishead，hishandsomefacebrazeninthesun。Butitmighthavestruckastrangerasoddthatthereappearedinhistrain，notonlyhissecondscarryingthesword—case，buttwoofhisservantscarryingaportmanteauandaluncheonbasket。
Earlyaswasthehour，thesunsoakedeverythinginwarmth，andSymewasvaguelysurprisedtoseesomanyspringflowersburninggoldandsilverinthetallgrassinwhichthewholecompanystoodalmostknee—deep。
WiththeexceptionoftheMarquis，allthemenwereinsombreandsolemnmorning—dress，withhatslikeblackchimney—pots;thelittleDoctorespecially，withtheadditionofhisblackspectacles，lookedlikeanundertakerinafarce。Symecouldnothelpfeelingacomiccontrastbetweenthisfunerealchurchparadeofapparelandtherichandglisteningmeadow，growingwildflowerseverywhere。
But，indeed，thiscomiccontrastbetweentheyellowblossomsandtheblackhatswasbutasymbolofthetragiccontrastbetweentheyellowblossomsandtheblackbusiness。Onhisrightwasalittlewood;farawaytohisleftlaythelongcurveoftherailwayline，whichhewas，sotospeak，guardingfromtheMarquis，whosegoalandescapeitwas。Infrontofhim，behindtheblackgroupofhisopponents，hecouldsee，likeatintedcloud，asmallalmondbushinfloweragainstthefaintlineofthesea。
ThememberoftheLegionofHonour，whosenameitseemedwasColonelDucroix，approachedtheProfessorandDr。Bullwithgreatpoliteness，andsuggestedthattheplayshouldterminatewiththefirstconsiderablehurt。
Dr。Bull，however，havingbeencarefullycoachedbySymeuponthispointofpolicy，insisted，withgreatdignityandinverybadFrench，thatitshouldcontinueuntiloneofthecombatantswasdisabled。SymehadmadeuphismindthathecouldavoiddisablingtheMarquisandpreventtheMarquisfromdisablinghimforatleasttwentyminutes。IntwentyminutestheParistrainwouldhavegoneby。
\"Toamanofthewell—knownskillandvalourofMonsieurdeSt。
Eustache，\"saidtheProfessorsolemnly，\"itmustbeamatterofindifferencewhichmethodisadopted，andourprincipalhasstrongreasonsfordemandingthelongerencounter，reasonsthedelicacyofwhichpreventmefrombeingexplicit，butforthejustandhonourablenatureofwhichIcan——\"
\"Peste！\"brokefromtheMarquisbehind，whosefacehadsuddenlydarkened，\"letusstoptalkingandbegin，\"andheslashedofftheheadofatallflowerwithhisstick。
Symeunderstoodhisrudeimpatienceandinstinctivelylookedoverhisshouldertoseewhetherthetrainwascominginsight。Buttherewasnosmokeonthehorizon。
ColonelDucroixkneltdownandunlockedthecase，takingoutapairoftwinswords，whichtookthesunlightandturnedtotwostreaksofwhitefire。HeofferedonetotheMarquis，whosnatcheditwithoutceremony，andanothertoSyme，whotookit，bentit，andpoiseditwithasmuchdelayaswasconsistentwithdignity。
ThentheColoneltookoutanotherpairofblades，andtakingonehimselfandgivinganothertoDr。Bull，proceededtoplacethemen。
Bothcombatantshadthrownofftheircoatsandwaistcoats，andstoodswordinhand。Thesecondsstoodoneachsideofthelineoffightwithdrawnswordsalso，butstillsombreintheirdarkfrock—coatsandhats。Theprincipalssaluted。TheColonelsaidquietly，\"Engage！\"andthetwobladestouchedandtingled。
WhenthejarofthejoinedironranupSyme’sarm，allthefantasticfearsthathavebeenthesubjectofthisstoryfellfromhimlikedreamsfromamanwakingupinbed。Herememberedthemclearlyandinorderasmeredelusionsofthenerves——howthefearoftheProfessorhadbeenthefearofthetyrannicaccidentsofnightmare，andhowthefearoftheDoctorhadbeenthefearoftheairlessvacuumofscience。Thefirstwastheoldfearthatanymiraclemighthappen，thesecondthemorehopelessmodernfearthatnomiraclecaneverhappen。Buthesawthatthesefearswerefancies，forhefoundhimselfinthepresenceofthegreatfactofthefearofdeath，withitscoarseandpitilesscommonsense。Hefeltlikeamanwhohaddreamedallnightoffallingoverprecipices，andhadwokeuponthemorningwhenhewastobehanged。Forassoonashehadseenthesunlightrundownthechannelofhisfoe’sforeshortenedblade，andassoonashehadfeltthetwotonguesofsteeltouch，vibratingliketwolivingthings，heknewthathisenemywasaterriblefighter，andthatprobablyhislasthourhadcome。
Hefeltastrangeandvividvalueinalltheeartharoundhim，inthegrassunderhisfeet;hefelttheloveoflifeinalllivingthings。Hecouldalmostfancythatheheardthegrassgrowing;hecouldalmostfancythatevenashestoodfreshflowerswerespringingupandbreakingintoblossominthemeadow——flowersbloodredandburninggoldandblue，fulfillingthewholepageantofthespring。Andwheneverhiseyesstrayedforaflashfromthecalm，staring，hypnoticeyesoftheMarquis，theysawthelittletuftofalmondtreeagainstthesky—line。Hehadthefeelingthatifbysomemiracleheescapedhewouldbereadytositforeverbeforethatalmondtree，desiringnothingelseintheworld。
Butwhileearthandskyandeverythinghadthelivingbeautyofathinglost，theotherhalfofhisheadwasasclearasglass，andhewasparryinghisenemy’spointwithakindofclockworkskillofwhichhehadhardlysupposedhimselfcapable。Oncehisenemy’spointranalonghiswrist，leavingaslightstreakofblood，butiteitherwasnotnoticedorwastacitlyignored。Everynowandthenheriposted，andonceortwicehecouldalmostfancythathefelthispointgohome，butastherewasnobloodonbladeorshirthesupposedhewasmistaken。Thencameaninterruptionandachange。
Attheriskoflosingall，theMarquis，interruptinghisquietstare，flashedoneglanceoverhisshoulderatthelineofrailwayonhisright。ThenheturnedonSymeafacetransfiguredtothatofafiend，andbegantofightasifwithtwentyweapons。Theattackcamesofastandfurious，thattheoneshiningswordseemedashowerofshiningarrows。Symehadnochancetolookattherailway;butalsohehadnoneed。HecouldguessthereasonoftheMarquis’ssuddenmadnessofbattle——theParistrainwasinsight。
ButtheMarquis’smorbidenergyover—reacheditself。TwiceSyme，parrying，knockedhisopponent’spointfaroutofthefightingcircle;andthethirdtimehisripostewassorapid，thattherewasnodoubtaboutthehitthistime。Syme’sswordactuallybentundertheweightoftheMarquis’sbody，whichithadpierced。
Symewasascertainthathehadstuckhisbladeintohisenemyasagardenerthathehasstuckhisspadeintotheground。YettheMarquissprangbackfromthestrokewithoutastagger，andSymestoodstaringathisownsword—pointlikeanidiot。Therewasnobloodonitatall。
Therewasaninstantofrigidsilence，andthenSymeinhisturnfellfuriouslyontheother，filledwithaflamingcuriosity。TheMarquiswasprobably，inageneralsense，abetterfencerthanhe，ashehadsurmisedatthebeginning，butatthemomenttheMarquisseemeddistraughtandatadisadvantage。Hefoughtwildlyandevenweakly，andheconstantlylookedawayattherailwayline，almostasifhefearedthetrainmorethanthepointedsteel。Syme，ontheotherhand，foughtfiercelybutstillcarefully，inanintellectualfury，eagertosolvetheriddleofhisownbloodlesssword。Forthispurpose，heaimedlessattheMarquis’sbody，andmoreathisthroatandhead。Aminuteandahalfafterwardshefelthispointentertheman’sneckbelowthejaw。Itcameoutclean。Halfmad，hethrustagain，andmadewhatshouldhavebeenabloodyscarontheMarquis’scheek。Buttherewasnoscar。
ForonemomenttheheavenofSymeagaingrewblackwithsupernaturalterrors。Surelythemanhadacharmedlife。Butthisnewspiritualdreadwasamoreawfulthingthanhadbeenthemerespiritualtopsy—turvydomsymbolisedbytheparalyticwhopursuedhim。TheProfessorwasonlyagoblin;thismanwasadevil——perhapshewastheDevil！Anyhow，thiswascertain，thatthreetimeshadahumanswordbeendrivenintohimandmadenomark。WhenSymehadthatthoughthedrewhimselfup，andallthatwasgoodinhimsanghighupintheairasahighwindsingsinthetrees。Hethoughtofallthehumanthingsinhisstory——oftheChineselanternsinSaffronPark，ofthegirl’sredhairinthegarden，ofthehonest，beer—swillingsailorsdownbythedock，ofhisloyalcompanionsstandingby。Perhapshehadbeenchosenasachampionofallthesefreshandkindlythingstocrossswordswiththeenemyofallcreation。\"Afterall，\"hesaidtohimself，\"Iammorethanadevil;
Iamaman。IcandotheonethingwhichSatanhimselfcannotdo——I
candie，\"andasthewordwentthroughhishead，heheardafaintandfar—offhoot，whichwouldsoonbetheroaroftheParistrain。
Hefelltofightingagainwithasupernaturallevity，likeaMohammedanpantingforParadise。AsthetraincamenearerandnearerhefanciedhecouldseepeopleputtingupthefloralarchesinParis;hejoinedinthegrowingnoiseandthegloryofthegreatRepublicwhosegatehewasguardingagainstHell。Histhoughtsrosehigherandhigherwiththerisingroarofthetrain，whichended，asifproudly，inalongandpiercingwhistle。Thetrainstopped。
Suddenly，totheastonishmentofeveryonetheMarquissprangbackquiteoutofswordreachandthrewdownhissword。Theleapwaswonderful，andnotthelesswonderfulbecauseSymehadplungedhisswordamomentbeforeintotheman’sthigh。
\"Stop！\"saidtheMarquisinavoicethatcompelledamomentaryobedience。\"Iwanttosaysomething。\"
\"Whatisthematter？\"askedColonelDucroix，staring。\"Hastherebeenfoulplay？\"
\"Therehasbeenfoulplaysomewhere，\"saidDr。Bull，whowasalittlepale。\"OurprincipalhaswoundedtheMarquisfourtimesatleast，andheisnonetheworse。\"
TheMarquisputuphishandwithacuriousairofghastlypatience。
\"Pleaseletmespeak，\"hesaid。\"Itisratherimportant。Mr。
Syme，\"hecontinued，turningtohisopponent，\"wearefightingtoday，ifIrememberright，becauseyouexpressedawish（whichIthoughtirrational）topullmynose。Wouldyouobligemebypullingmynosenowasquicklyaspossible？Ihavetocatchatrain。\"
\"Iprotestthatthisismostirregular，\"saidDr。Bullindignantly。
\"Itiscertainlysomewhatopposedtoprecedent，\"saidColonelDucroix，lookingwistfullyathisprincipal。\"Thereis，Ithink，onecaseonrecord（CaptainBellegardeandtheBaronZumpt）inwhichtheweaponswerechangedinthemiddleoftheencounterattherequestofoneofthecombatants。Butonecanhardlycallone’snoseaweapon。\"
\"Willyouorwillyounotpullmynose？\"saidtheMarquisinexasperation。\"Come，come，Mr。Syme！Youwantedtodoit，doit！
Youcanhavenoconceptionofhowimportantitistome。Don’tbesoselfish！Pullmynoseatonce，whenIaskyou！\"andhebentslightlyforwardwithafascinatingsmile。TheParistrain，pantingandgroaning，hadgratedintoalittlestationbehindtheneighbouringhill。
Symehadthefeelinghehadmorethanoncehadintheseadventures——thesensethatahorribleandsublimewaveliftedtoheavenwasjusttopplingover。Walkinginaworldhehalfunderstood，hetooktwopacesforwardandseizedtheRomannoseofthisremarkablenobleman。Hepulledithard，anditcameoffinhishand。
Hestoodforsomesecondswithafoolishsolemnity，withthepasteboardproboscisstillbetweenhisfingers，lookingatit，whilethesunandthecloudsandthewoodedhillslookeddownuponthisimbecilescene。
TheMarquisbrokethesilenceinaloudandcheerfulvoice。
\"Ifanyonehasanyuseformylefteyebrow，\"hesaid，\"hecanhaveit。ColonelDucroix，doacceptmylefteyebrow！It’sthekindofthingthatmightcomeinusefulanyday，\"andhegravelytoreoffoneofhisswarthyAssyrianbrows，bringingabouthalfhisbrownforeheadwithit，andpolitelyofferedittotheColonel，whostoodcrimsonandspeechlesswithrage。
\"IfIhadknown，\"hespluttered，\"thatIwasactingforapoltroonwhopadshimselftofight——\"
\"Oh，Iknow，Iknow！\"saidtheMarquis，recklesslythrowingvariouspartsofhimselfrightandleftaboutthefield。\"Youaremakingamistake;butitcan’tbeexplainedjustnow。Itellyouthetrainhascomeintothestation！\"
\"Yes，\"saidDr。Bullfiercely，\"andthetrainshallgooutofthestation。Itshallgooutwithoutyou。Weknowwellenoughforwhatdevil’swork——\"
ThemysteriousMarquisliftedhishandswithadesperategesture。
Hewasastrangescarecrowstandingthereinthesunwithhalfhisoldfacepeeledoff，andhalfanotherfaceglaringandgrinningfromunderneath。
\"Willyoudrivememad？\"hecried。\"Thetrain——\"
\"Youshallnotgobythetrain，\"saidSymefirmly，andgraspedhissword。
ThewildfigureturnedtowardsSyme，andseemedtobegatheringitselfforasublimeeffortbeforespeaking。
\"Yougreatfat，blasted，blear—eyed，blundering，thundering，brainless，Godforsaken，doddering，damnedfool！\"hesaidwithouttakingbreath。\"Yougreatsilly，pink—faced，towheadedturnip！
You——\"
\"Youshallnotgobythistrain，\"repeatedSyme。
\"Andwhytheinfernalblazes，\"roaredtheother，\"shouldIwanttogobythetrain？\"
\"Weknowall，\"saidtheProfessorsternly。\"YouaregoingtoParistothrowabomb！\"
\"GoingtoJerichotothrowaJabberwock！\"criedtheother，tearinghishair，whichcameoffeasily。
\"Haveyouallgotsofteningofthebrain，thatyoudon’trealisewhatIam？DidyoureallythinkIwantedtocatchthattrain？
TwentyParistrainsmightgobyforme。DamnParistrains！\"
\"Thenwhatdidyoucareabout？\"begantheProfessor。
\"WhatdidIcareabout？Ididn’tcareaboutcatchingthetrain;I
caredaboutwhetherthetraincaughtme，andnow，byGod！ithascaughtme。\"
\"Iregrettoinformyou，\"saidSymewithrestraint，\"thatyourremarksconveynoimpressiontomymind。Perhapsifyouweretoremovetheremainsofyouroriginalforeheadandsomeportionofwhatwasonceyourchin，yourmeaningwouldbecomeclearer。Mentallucidityfulfilsitselfinmanyways。Whatdoyoumeanbysayingthatthetrainhascaughtyou？Itmaybemyliteraryfancy，butsomehowIfeelthatitoughttomeansomething。\"
\"Itmeanseverything，\"saidtheother，\"andtheendofeverything。
Sundayhasusnowinthehollowofhishand。\"
\"Us！\"repeatedtheProfessor，asifstupefied。\"Whatdoyoumeanby’us’？\"
\"Thepolice，ofcourse！\"saidtheMarquis，andtoreoffhisscalpandhalfhisface。
Theheadwhichemergedwastheblonde，wellbrushed，smooth—hairedheadwhichiscommonintheEnglishconstabulary，butthefacewasterriblypale。
\"IamInspectorRatcliffe，\"hesaid，withasortofhastethatvergedonharshness。\"Mynameisprettywellknowntothepolice，andIcanseewellenoughthatyoubelongtothem。Butifthereisanydoubtaboutmyposition，Ihaveacard\"andhebegantopullabluecardfromhispocket。
TheProfessorgaveatiredgesture。
\"Oh，don’tshowitus，\"hesaidwearily;\"we’vegotenoughofthemtoequipapaper—chase。\"
ThelittlemannamedBull，had，likemanymenwhoseemtobeofamerevivaciousvulgarity，suddenmovementsofgoodtaste。Herehecertainlysavedthesituation。Inthemidstofthisstaggeringtransformationscenehesteppedforwardwithallthegravityandresponsibilityofasecond，andaddressedthetwosecondsoftheMarquis。
\"Gentlemen，\"hesaid，\"wealloweyouaseriousapology;butI
assureyouthatyouhavenotbeenmadethevictimsofsuchalowjokeasyouimagine，orindeedofanythingundignifiedinamanofhonour。Youhavenotwastedyourtime;youhavehelpedtosavetheworld。Wearenotbuffoons，butverydesperatemenatwarwithavastconspiracy。Asecretsocietyofanarchistsishuntinguslikehares;notsuchunfortunatemadmenasmayhereortherethrowabombthroughstarvationorGermanphilosophy，butarichandpowerfulandfanaticalchurch，achurchofeasternpessimism，whichholdsitholytodestroymankindlikevermin。HowhardtheyhuntusyoucangatherfromthefactthatwearedriventosuchdisguisesasthoseforwhichIapologise，andtosuchpranksasthisonebywhichyousuffer。\"
TheyoungersecondoftheMarquis，ashortmanwithablackmoustache，bowedpolitely，andsaid——
\"Ofcourse，Iaccepttheapology;butyouwillinyourturnforgivemeifIdeclinetofollowyoufurtherintoyourdifficulties，andpermitmyselftosaygoodmorning！Thesightofanacquaintanceanddistinguishedfellow—townsmancomingtopiecesintheopenairisunusual，and，uponthewhole，sufficientforoneday。ColonelDucroix，Iwouldinnowayinfluenceyouractions，butifyoufeelwithmethatourpresentsocietyisalittleabnormal，Iamnowgoingtowalkbacktothetown。\"
ColonelDucroixmovedmechanically，butthentuggedabruptlyathiswhitemoustacheandbrokeout——
\"No，byGeorge！Iwon’t。Ifthesegentlemenarereallyinamesswithalotoflowwreckerslikethat，I’llseethemthroughit。I
havefoughtforFrance，anditishardifIcan’tfightforcivilization。\"
Dr。Bulltookoffhishatandwavedit，cheeringasatapublicmeeting。
\"Don’tmaketoomuchnoise，\"saidInspectorRatcliffe，\"Sundaymayhearyou。\"
\"Sunday！\"criedBull，anddroppedhishat。
\"Yes，\"retortedRatcliffe，\"hemaybewiththem。\"
\"Withwhom？\"askedSyme。
\"Withthepeopleoutofthattrain，\"saidtheother。
\"Whatyousayseemsutterlywild，\"beganSyme。\"Why，asamatteroffact——But，myGod，\"hecriedoutsuddenly，likeamanwhoseesanexplosionalongwayoff，\"byGod！ifthisistruethewholeballylotofusontheAnarchistCouncilwereagainstanarchy！EverybornmanwasadetectiveexceptthePresidentandhispersonalsecretary。Whatcanitmean？\"
\"Mean！\"saidthenewpolicemanwithincredibleviolence。\"Itmeansthatwearestruckdead！Don’tyouknowSunday？Don’tyouknowthathisjokesarealwayssobigandsimplethatonehasneverthoughtofthem？CanyouthinkofanythingmorelikeSundaythanthis，thatheshouldputallhispowerfulenemiesontheSupremeCouncil，andthentakecarethatitwasnotsupreme？Itellyouhehasboughteverytrust，hehascapturedeverycable，hehascontrolofeveryrailwayline——especiallyofthatrailwayline！\"andhepointedashakingfingertowardsthesmallwaysidestation。\"Thewholemovementwascontrolledbyhim;halftheworldwasreadytoriseforhim。Buttherewerejustfivepeople，perhaps，whowouldhaveresistedhim……andtheolddevilputthemontheSupremeCouncil，towastetheirtimeinwatchingeachother。Idiotsthatweare，heplannedthewholeofouridiocies！SundayknewthattheProfessorwouldchaseSymethroughLondon，andthatSymewouldfightmeinFrance。Andhewascombininggreatmassesofcapital，andseizinggreatlinesoftelegraphy，whilewefiveidiotswererunningaftereachotherlikealotofconfoundedbabiesplayingblindman’sbuff。\"
\"Well？\"askedSymewithasortofsteadiness。
\"Well，\"repliedtheotherwithsuddenserenity，\"hehasfoundusplayingblindman’sbufftodayinafieldofgreatrusticbeautyandextremesolitude。Hehasprobablycapturedtheworld;itonlyremainstohimtocapturethisfieldandallthefoolsinit。Andsinceyoureallywanttoknowwhatwasmyobjectiontothearrivalofthattrain，Iwilltellyou。MyobjectionwasthatSundayorhisSecretaryhasjustthismomentgotoutofit。\"
Symeutteredaninvoluntarycry，andtheyallturnedtheireyestowardsthefar—offstation。Itwasquitetruethataconsiderablebulkofpeopleseemedtobemovingintheirdirection。Buttheyweretoodistanttobedistinguishedinanyway。
\"ItwasahabitofthelateMarquisdeSt。Eustache，\"saidthenewpoliceman，producingaleathercase，\"alwaystocarryapairofoperaglasses。EitherthePresidentortheSecretaryiscomingafteruswiththatmob。Theyhavecaughtusinanicequietplacewhereweareundernotemptationstobreakouroathsbycallingthepolice。Dr。Bull，Ihaveasuspicionthatyouwillseebetterthroughthesethanthroughyourownhighlydecorativespectacles。\"
Hehandedthefield—glassestotheDoctor，whoimmediatelytookoffhisspectaclesandputtheapparatustohiseyes。
\"Itcannotbeasbadasyousay，\"saidtheProfessor，somewhatshaken。\"Thereareagoodnumberofthemcertainly，buttheymayeasilybeordinarytourists。\"
\"Doordinarytourists，\"askedBull，withthefieldglassestohiseyes，\"wearblackmaskshalf—waydowntheface？\"
Symealmosttoretheglassesoutofhishand，andlookedthroughthem。Mostmenintheadvancingmobreallylookedordinaryenough;
butitwasquitetruethattwoorthreeoftheleadersinfrontworeblackhalf—masksalmostdowntotheirmouths。Thisdisguiseisverycomplete，especiallyatsuchadistance，andSymefounditimpossibletoconcludeanythingfromtheclean—shavenjawsandchinsofthementalkinginthefront。Butpresentlyastheytalkedtheyallsmiledandoneofthemsmiledononeside。
CHAPTERXI
THECRIMINALSCHASETHEPOLICE
SYMEputthefield—glassesfromhiseyeswithanalmostghastlyrelief。
\"ThePresidentisnotwiththem，anyhow，\"hesaid，andwipedhisforehead。
\"Butsurelytheyarerightawayonthehorizon，\"saidthebewilderedColonel，blinkingandbuthalfrecoveredfromBull’shastythoughpoliteexplanation。\"CouldyoupossiblyknowyourPresidentamongallthosepeople？\"
\"CouldIknowawhiteelephantamongallthosepeople！\"answeredSymesomewhatirritably。\"Asyouverytrulysay，theyareonthehorizon;butifhewerewalkingwiththem……byGod！Ibelievethisgroundwouldshake。\"
Afteraninstant’spausethenewmancalledRatcliffesaidwithgloomydecision——
\"OfcoursethePresidentisn’twiththem。IwishtoGeminihewere。