ProfessordeWormsfellbackinhischairwithacuriousairofkindlycollapse。
\"That’sapity，\"hesaid，\"becauseIam。\"
Symesprangupstraight，sendingbackthebenchbehindhimwithacrash。
\"Becauseyouarewhat？\"hesaidthickly。\"Youarewhat？\"
\"Iamapoliceman，\"saidtheProfessorwithhisfirstbroadsmile。
andbeamingthroughhisspectacles。\"Butasyouthinkpolicemanonlyarelativeterm，ofcourseIhavenothingtodowithyou。I
amintheBritishpoliceforce;butasyoutellmeyouarenotintheBritishpoliceforce，IcanonlysaythatImetyouinadynamiters’club。IsupposeIoughttoarrestyou。\"AndwiththesewordshelaidonthetablebeforeSymeanexactfacsimileofthebluecardwhichSymehadinhisownwaistcoatpocket，thesymbolofhispowerfromthepolice。
Symehadforaflashthesensationthatthecosmoshadturnedexactlyupsidedown，thatalltreesweregrowingdownwardsandthatallstarswereunderhisfeet。Thencameslowlytheoppositeconviction。Forthelasttwenty—fourhoursthecosmoshadreallybeenupsidedown，butnowthecapsizeduniversehadcomerightsideupagain。Thisdevilfromwhomhehadbeenfleeingalldaywasonlyanelderbrotherofhisownhouse，whoontheothersideofthetablelaybackandlaughedathim。Hedidnotforthemomentaskanyquestionsofdetail;heonlyknewthehappyandsillyfactthatthisshadow，whichhadpursuedhimwithanintolerableoppressionofperil，wasonlytheshadowofafriendtryingtocatchhimup。
Heknewsimultaneouslythathewasafoolandafreeman。Forwithanyrecoveryfrommorbiditytheremustgoacertainhealthyhumiliation。Therecomesacertainpointinsuchconditionswhenonlythreethingsarepossible：firstaperpetuationofSatanicpride，secondlytears，andthirdlaughter。Syme’segotismheldhardtothefirstcourseforafewseconds，andthensuddenlyadoptedthethird。Takinghisownbluepoliceticketfromhisownwaistcoatpocket，hetosseditontothetable;thenheflunghisheadbackuntilhisspikeofyellowbeardalmostpointedattheceiling，andshoutedwithabarbariclaughter。
Eveninthatcloseden，perpetuallyfilledwiththedinofknives，plates，cans，clamorousvoices，suddenstrugglesandstampedes，therewassomethingHomericinSyme’smirthwhichmademanyhalf—drunkenmenlookround。
\"Whatyerlaughingat，guv’nor？\"askedonewonderinglabourerfromthedocks。
\"Atmyself，\"answeredSyme，andwentoffagainintotheagonyofhisecstaticreaction。
\"Pullyourselftogether，\"saidtheProfessor，\"oryou’llgethysterical。Havesomemorebeer。I’lljoinyou。\"
\"Youhaven’tdrunkyourmilk，\"saidSyme。
\"Mymilk！\"saidtheother，intonesofwitheringandunfathomablecontempt，\"mymilk！DoyouthinkI’dlookatthebeastlystuffwhenI’moutofsightofthebloodyanarchists？We’reallChristiansinthisroom，thoughperhaps，\"headded，glancingaroundatthereelingcrowd，\"notstrictones。Finishmymilk？Greatblazes！yes，I’llfinishitrightenough！\"andheknockedthetumbleroffthetable，makingacrashofglassandasplashofsilverfluid。
Symewasstaringathimwithahappycuriosity。
\"Iunderstandnow，\"hecried;\"ofcourse，you’renotanoldmanatall。\"
\"Ican’ttakemyfaceoffhere，\"repliedProfessordeWorms。\"It’sratheranelaboratemake—up。AstowhetherI’manoldman，that’snotformetosay。Iwasthirty—eightlastbirthday。\"
\"Yes，butImean，\"saidSymeimpatiently，\"there’snothingthematterwithyou。\"
\"Yes，\"answeredtheotherdispassionately。\"Iamsubjecttocolds。\"
Syme’slaughteratallthishadaboutitawildweaknessofrelief。
HelaughedattheideaoftheparalyticProfessorbeingreallyayoungactordressedupasifforthefoot—lights。Buthefeltthathewouldhavelaughedasloudlyifapepperpothadfallenover。
ThefalseProfessordrankandwipedhisfalsebeard。
\"Didyouknow，\"heasked，\"thatthatmanGogolwasoneofus？\"
\"I？No，Ididn’tknowit，\"answeredSymeinsomesurprise。\"Butdidn’tyou？\"
\"Iknewnomorethanthedead，\"repliedthemanwhocalledhimselfdeWorms。\"IthoughtthePresidentwastalkingaboutme，andI
rattledinmyboots。\"
\"AndIthoughthewastalkingaboutme，\"saidSyme，withhisratherrecklesslaughter。\"Ihadmyhandonmyrevolverallthetime。\"
\"SohadI，\"saidtheProfessorgrimly;\"sohadGogolevidently。\"
Symestruckthetablewithanexclamation。
\"Why，therewerethreeofusthere！\"hecried。\"Threeoutofsevenisafightingnumber。Ifwehadonlyknownthatwewerethree！\"
ThefaceofProfessordeWormsdarkened，andhedidnotlookup。
\"Wewerethree，\"hesaid。\"Ifwehadbeenthreehundredwecouldstillhavedonenothing。\"
\"Notifwewerethreehundredagainstfour？\"askedSyme，jeeringratherboisterously。
\"No，\"saidtheProfessorwithsobriety，\"notifwewerethreehundredagainstSunday。\"
AndthemerenamestruckSymecoldandserious;hislaughterhaddiedinhisheartbeforeitcoulddieonhislips。ThefaceoftheunforgettablePresidentsprangintohismindasstartlingasacolouredphotograph，andheremarkedthisdifferencebetweenSundayandallhissatellites，thattheirfaces，howeverfierceorsinister，becamegraduallyblurredbymemorylikeotherhumanfaces，whereasSunday’sseemedalmosttogrowmoreactualduringabsence，asifaman’spaintedportraitshouldslowlycomealive。
Theywerebothsilentforameasureofmoments，andthenSyme’sspeechcamewitharush，likethesuddenfoamingofchampagne。
\"Professor，\"hecried，\"itisintolerable。Areyouafraidofthisman？\"
TheProfessorliftedhisheavylids，andgazedatSymewithlarge，wide—open，blueeyesofanalmostetherealhonesty。
\"Yes，Iam，\"hesaidmildly。\"Soareyou。\"
Symewasdumbforaninstant。Thenherosetohisfeeterect，likeaninsultedman，andthrustthechairawayfromhim。
\"Yes，\"hesaidinavoiceindescribable，\"youareright。Iamafraidofhim。ThereforeIswearbyGodthatIwillseekoutthismanwhomIfearuntilIfindhim，andstrikehimonthemouth。Ifheavenwerehisthroneandtheearthhisfootstool，IswearthatIwouldpullhimdown。\"
\"How？\"askedthestaringProfessor。\"Why？\"
\"BecauseIamafraidofhim，\"saidSyme;\"andnomanshouldleaveintheuniverseanythingofwhichheisafraid。\"
DeWormsblinkedathimwithasortofblindwonder。Hemadeanefforttospeak，butSymewentoninalowvoice，butwithanundercurrentofinhumanexaltation——
\"Whowouldcondescendtostrikedownthemerethingsthathedoesnotfear？Whowoulddebasehimselftobemerelybrave，likeanycommonprizefighter？Whowouldstooptobefearless——likeatree？
Fightthethingthatyoufear。YouremembertheoldtaleoftheEnglishclergymanwhogavethelastritestothebrigandofSicily，andhowonhisdeath—bedthegreatrobbersaid，’Icangiveyounomoney，butIcangiveyouadviceforalifetime：yourthumbontheblade，andstrikeupwards。’SoIsaytoyou，strikeupwards，ifyoustrikeatthestars。\"
Theotherlookedattheceiling，oneofthetricksofhispose。
\"Sundayisafixedstar，\"hesaid。
\"Youshallseehimafallingstar，\"saidSyme，andputonhishat。
ThedecisionofhisgesturedrewtheProfessorvaguelytohisfeet。
\"Haveyouanyidea，\"heasked，withasortofbenevolentbewilderment，\"exactlywhereyouaregoing？\"
\"Yes，\"repliedSymeshortly，\"IamgoingtopreventthisbombbeingthrowninParis。\"
\"Haveyouanyconceptionhow？\"inquiredtheother。
\"No，\"saidSymewithequaldecision。
\"Youremember，ofcourse，\"resumedthesoi—disantdeWorms，pullinghisbeardandlookingoutofthewindow，\"thatwhenwebrokeupratherhurriedlythewholearrangementsfortheatrocitywereleftintheprivatehandsoftheMarquisandDr。Bull。TheMarquisisbythistimeprobablycrossingtheChannel。ButwherehewillgoandwhathewilldoitisdoubtfulwhethereventhePresidentknows;
certainlywedon’tknow。TheonlymanwhodoesknowisDr。Bull。
\"Confoundit！\"criedSyme。\"Andwedon’tknowwhereheis。\"
\"Yes，\"saidtheotherinhiscurious，absent—mindedway，\"Iknowwhereheismyself。\"
\"Willyoutellme？\"askedSymewitheagereyes。
\"Iwilltakeyouthere，\"saidtheProfessor，andtookdownhisownhatfromapeg。
Symestoodlookingathimwithasortofrigidexcitement。
\"Whatdoyoumean？\"heaskedsharply。\"Willyoujoinme？Willyoutaketherisk？\"
\"Youngman，\"saidtheProfessorpleasantly，\"IamamusedtoobservethatyouthinkIamacoward。AstothatIwillsayonlyoneword，andthatshallbeentirelyinthemannerofyourownphilosophicalrhetoric。YouthinkthatitispossibletopulldownthePresident。
Iknowthatitisimpossible，andIamgoingtotryit，\"andopeningthetaverndoor，whichletinablastofbitterair，theywentouttogetherintothedarkstreetsbythedocks。
Mostofthesnowwasmeltedortrampledtomud，buthereandthereaclotofitstillshowedgreyratherthanwhiteinthegloom。Thesmallstreetsweresloppyandfullofpools，whichreflectedtheflaminglampsirregularly，andbyaccident，likefragmentsofsomeotherandfallenworld。Symefeltalmostdazedashesteppedthroughthisgrowingconfusionoflightsandshadows;buthiscompanionwalkedonwithacertainbriskness，towardswhere，attheendofthestreet，aninchortwoofthelamplitriverlookedlikeabarofflame。
\"Whereareyougoing？\"Symeinquired。
\"Justnow，\"answeredtheProfessor，\"IamgoingjustroundthecornertoseewhetherDr。Bullhasgonetobed。Heishygienic，andretiresearly。\"
\"Dr。Bull！\"exclaimedSyme。\"Doesheliveroundthecorner？\"
\"No，\"answeredhisfriend。\"Asamatteroffacthelivessomewayoff，ontheothersideoftheriver，butwecantellfromherewhetherhehasgonetobed。\"
Turningthecornerashespoke，andfacingthedimriver，fleckedwithflame，hepointedwithhissticktotheotherbank。OntheSurreysideatthispointthereranoutintotheThames，seemingalmosttooverhangit，abulkandclusterofthosetalltenements，dottedwithlightedwindows，andrisinglikefactorychimneystoanalmostinsaneheight。TheirspecialpoiseandpositionmadeoneblockofbuildingsespeciallylooklikeaTowerofBabelwithahundredeyes。Symehadneverseenanyofthesky—scrapingbuildingsinAmerica，sohecouldonlythinkofthebuildingsinadream。
Evenashestared，thehighestlightinthisinnumerablylightedturretabruptlywentout，asifthisblackArgushadwinkedathimwithoneofhisinnumerableeyes。
ProfessordeWormsswungroundonhisheel，andstruckhisstickagainsthisboot。
\"Wearetoolate，\"hesaid，\"thehygienicDoctorhasgonetobed。\"
\"Whatdoyoumean？\"askedSyme。\"Doesheliveoverthere，then？\"
\"Yes，\"saiddeWorms，\"behindthatparticularwindowwhichyoucan’tsee。Comealongandgetsomedinner。Wemustcallonhimtomorrowmorning。\"
Withoutfurtherparley，heledthewaythroughseveralby—waysuntiltheycameoutintotheflareandclamouroftheEastIndiaDockRoad。TheProfessor，whoseemedtoknowhiswayabouttheneighbourhood，proceededtoaplacewherethelineoflightedshopsfellbackintoasortofabrupttwilightandquiet，inwhichanoldwhiteinn，alloutofrepair，stoodbacksometwentyfeetfromtheroad。
\"YoucanfindgoodEnglishinnsleftbyaccidenteverywhere，likefossils，\"explainedtheProfessor。\"IoncefoundadecentplaceintheWestEnd。\"
\"Isuppose，\"saidSyme，smiling，\"thatthisisthecorrespondingdecentplaceintheEastEnd？\"
\"Itis，\"saidtheProfessorreverently，andwentin。
Inthatplacetheydinedandslept，bothverythoroughly。Thebeansandbacon，whichtheseunaccountablepeoplecookedwell，theastonishingemergenceofBurgundyfromtheircellars，crownedSyme’ssenseofanewcomradeshipandcomfort。Throughallthisordealhisroothorrorhadbeenisolation，andtherearenowordstoexpresstheabyssbetweenisolationandhavingoneally。Itmaybeconcededtothemathematiciansthatfouristwicetwo。Buttwoisnottwiceone;twoistwothousandtimesone。Thatiswhy，inspiteofahundreddisadvantages，theworldwillalwaysreturntomonogamy。
Symewasabletopouroutforthefirsttimethewholeofhisoutrageoustale，fromthetimewhenGregoryhadtakenhimtothelittletavernbytheriver。Hediditidlyandamply，inaluxuriantmonologue，asamanspeakswithveryoldfriends。Onhisside，also，themanwhohadimpersonatedProfessordeWormswasnotlesscommunicative。HisownstorywasalmostassillyasSyme’s。
\"That’sagoodget—upofyours，\"saidSyme，drainingaglassofMacon;\"alotbetterthanoldGogol’s。EvenatthestartIthoughthewasabittoohairy。\"
\"Adifferenceofartistictheory，\"repliedtheProfessorpensively。
\"Gogolwasanidealist。Hemadeupastheabstractorplatonicidealofananarchist。ButIamarealist。Iamaportraitpainter。
But，indeed，tosaythatIamaportraitpainterisaninadequateexpression。Iamaportrait。\"
\"Idon’tunderstandyou，\"saidSyme。
\"Iamaportrait，\"repeatedtheProfessor。\"IamaportraitofthecelebratedProfessordeWorms，whois，Ibelieve，inNaples。\"
\"Youmeanyouaremadeuplikehim，\"saidSyme。\"Butdoesn’theknowthatyouaretakinghisnoseinvain？\"
\"Heknowsitrightenough，\"repliedhisfriendcheerfully。
\"Thenwhydoesn’thedenounceyou？\"
\"Ihavedenouncedhim，\"answeredtheProfessor。
\"Doexplainyourself，\"saidSyme。
\"Withpleasure，ifyoudon’tmindhearingmystory，\"repliedtheeminentforeignphilosopher。\"Iambyprofessionanactor，andmynameisWilks。WhenIwasonthestageImixedwithallsortsofBohemianandblackguardcompany。SometimesItouchedtheedgeoftheturf，sometimestheriff—raffofthearts，andoccasionallythepoliticalrefugee。InsomedenofexileddreamersIwasintroducedtothegreatGermanNihilistphilosopher，ProfessordeWorms。Ididnotgathermuchabouthimbeyondhisappearance，whichwasverydisgusting，andwhichIstudiedcarefully。IunderstoodthathehadprovedthatthedestructiveprincipleintheuniversewasGod;
henceheinsistedontheneedforafuriousandincessantenergy，rendingallthingsinpieces。Energy，hesaid，wastheAll。Hewaslame，shortsighted，andpartiallyparalytic。WhenImethimIwasinafrivolousmood，andIdislikedhimsomuchthatIresolvedtoimitatehim。IfIhadbeenadraughtsmanIwouldhavedrawnacaricature。Iwasonlyanactor，Icouldonlyactacaricature。I
mademyselfupintowhatwasmeantforawildexaggerationoftheoldProfessor’sdirtyoldself。WhenIwentintotheroomfullofhissupportersIexpectedtobereceivedwitharoaroflaughter，or（iftheyweretoofargone）witharoarofindignationattheinsult。IcannotdescribethesurpriseIfeltwhenmyentrancewasreceivedwitharespectfulsilence，followed（whenIhadfirstopenedmylips）withamurmurofadmiration。Thecurseoftheperfectartisthadfallenuponme。Ihadbeentoosubtle，Ihadbeentootrue。TheythoughtIreallywasthegreatNihilistProfessor。Iwasahealthy—mindedyoungmanatthetime，andI
confessthatitwasablow。BeforeIcouldfullyrecover，however，twoorthreeoftheseadmirersranuptomeradiatingindignation，andtoldmethatapublicinsulthadbeenputuponmeinthenextroom。Iinquireditsnature。Itseemedthatanimpertinentfellowhaddressedhimselfupasapreposterousparodyofmyself。Ihaddrunkmorechampagnethanwasgoodforme，andinaflashoffollyIdecidedtoseethesituationthrough。ConsequentlyitwastomeettheglareofthecompanyandmyownliftedeyebrowsandfreezingeyesthattherealProfessorcameintotheroom。
\"Ineedhardlysaytherewasacollision。ThepessimistsallroundmelookedanxiouslyfromoneProfessortotheotherProfessortoseewhichwasreallythemorefeeble。ButIwon。Anoldmaninpoorhealth，likemyrival，couldnotbeexpectedtobesoimpressivelyfeebleasayoungactorintheprimeoflife。Yousee，hereallyhadparalysis，andworkingwithinthisdefinitelimitation，hecouldn’tbesojollyparalyticasIwas。Thenhetriedtoblastmyclaimsintellectually。Icounteredthatbyaverysimpledodge。
Wheneverhesaidsomethingthatnobodybuthecouldunderstand，I
repliedwithsomethingwhichIcouldnotevenunderstandmyself。
’Idon’tfancy，’hesaid，’thatyoucouldhaveworkedouttheprinciplethatevolutionisonlynegation，sincethereinheresinittheintroductionoflacuna，whichareanessentialofdifferentiation。’Irepliedquitescornfully，’YoureadallthatupinPinckwerts;thenotionthatinvolutionfunctionedeugenicallywasexposedlongagobyGlumpe。’ItisunnecessaryformetosaythatthereneverweresuchpeopleasPinckwertsandGlumpe。Butthepeopleallround（rathertomysurprise）seemedtorememberthemquitewell，andtheProfessor，findingthatthelearnedandmysteriousmethodlefthimratheratthemercyofanenemyslightlydeficientinscruples，fellbackuponamorepopularformofwit。
’Isee，’hesneered，’youprevaillikethefalsepiginAesop。’
’Andyoufail，’Ianswered，smiling，’likethehedgehoginMontaigne。’NeedIsaythatthereisnohedgehoginMontaigne？
’Yourclaptrapcomesoff，’hesaid;’sowouldyourbeard。’Ihadnointelligentanswertothis，whichwasquitetrueandratherwitty。
ButIlaughedheartily，answered，’LikethePantheist’sboots，’atrandom，andturnedonmyheelwithallthehonoursofvictory。TherealProfessorwasthrownout，butnotwithviolence，thoughonemantriedverypatientlytopulloffhisnose。Heisnow，I
believe，receivedeverywhereinEuropeasadelightfulimpostor。
Hisapparentearnestnessandanger，yousee，makehimallthemoreentertaining。\"
\"Well，\"saidSyme，\"Icanunderstandyourputtingonhisdirtyoldbeardforanight’spracticaljoke，butIdon’tunderstandyournevertakingitoffagain。\"
\"Thatistherestofthestory，\"saidtheimpersonator。\"WhenI
myselfleftthecompany，followedbyreverentapplause，Iwentlimpingdownthedarkstreet，hopingthatIshouldsoonbefarenoughawaytobeabletowalklikeahumanbeing。Tomyastonishment，asIwasturningthecorner，Ifeltatouchontheshoulder，andturning，foundmyselfundertheshadowofanenormouspoliceman。HetoldmeIwaswanted。Istruckasortofparalyticattitude，andcriedinahighGermanaccent，’Yes，Iamwanted——bytheoppressedoftheworld。Youarearrestingmeonthechargeofbeingthegreatanarchist，ProfessordeWorms。’Thepolicemanimpassivelyconsultedapaperinhishand，’No，sir，’hesaidcivilly，’atleast，notexactly，sir。Iamarrestingyouonthechargeofnotbeingthecelebratedanarchist，ProfessordeWorms。’
Thischarge，ifitwascriminalatall，wascertainlythelighterofthetwo，andIwentalongwiththeman，doubtful，butnotgreatlydismayed。Iwasshownintoanumberofrooms，andeventuallyintothepresenceofapoliceofficer，whoexplainedthataseriouscampaignhadbeenopenedagainstthecentresofanarchy，andthatthis，mysuccessfulmasquerade，mightbeofconsiderablevaluetothepublicsafety。Heofferedmeagoodsalaryandthislittlebluecard。Thoughourconversationwasshort，hestruckmeasamanofverymassivecommonsenseandhumour;butIcannottellyoumuchabouthimpersonally，because——\"
Symelaiddownhisknifeandfork。
\"Iknow，\"hesaid，\"becauseyoutalkedtohiminadarkroom。\"
ProfessordeWormsnoddedanddrainedhisglass。
CHAPTERIX
THEMANINSPECTACLES
\"BURGUNDYisajollything，\"saidtheProfessorsadly，ashesethisglassdown。
\"Youdon’tlookasifitwere，\"saidSyme;\"youdrinkitasifitweremedicine。\"
\"Youmustexcusemymanner，\"saidtheProfessordismally，\"mypositionisratheracuriousone。InsideIamreallyburstingwithboyishmerriment;butIactedtheparalyticProfessorsowell，thatnowIcan’tleaveoff。SothatwhenIamamongfriends，andhavenoneedatalltodisguisemyself，Istillcan’thelpspeakingslowandwrinklingmyforehead——justasifitweremyforehead。Icanbequitehappy，youunderstand，butonlyinaparalyticsortofway。
Themostbuoyantexclamationsleapupinmyheart，buttheycomeoutofmymouthquitedifferent。Youshouldhearmesay，’Buckup，oldcock！’Itwouldbringtearstoyoureyes。\"
\"Itdoes，\"saidSyme;\"butIcannothelpthinkingthatapartfromallthatyouarereallyabitworried。\"
TheProfessorstartedalittleandlookedathimsteadily。
\"Youareaverycleverfellow，\"hesaid，\"itisapleasuretoworkwithyou。Yes，Ihaveratheraheavycloudinmyhead。Thereisagreatproblemtoface，\"andhesankhisbaldbrowinhistwohands。
Thenhesaidinalowvoice——
\"Canyouplaythepiano？\"
\"Yes，\"saidSymeinsimplewonder，\"I’msupposedtohaveagoodtouch。\"
Then，astheotherdidnotspeak，headded——
\"Itrustthegreatcloudislifted。\"
Afteralongsilence，theProfessorsaidoutofthecavernousshadowofhishands——
\"Itwouldhavedonejustaswellifyoucouldworkatypewriter。\"
\"Thankyou，\"saidSyme，\"youflatterme。\"
\"Listentome，\"saidtheother，\"andrememberwhomwehavetoseetomorrow。YouandIaregoingtomorrowtoattemptsomethingwhichisverymuchmoredangerousthantryingtostealtheCrownJewelsoutoftheTower。Wearetryingtostealasecretfromaverysharp，verystrong，andverywickedman。Ibelievethereisnoman，exceptthePresident，ofcourse，whoissoseriouslystartlingandformidableasthatlittlegrinningfellowingoggles。Hehasnotperhapsthewhite—hotenthusiasmuntodeath，themadmartyrdomforanarchy，whichmarkstheSecretary。ButthenthatveryfanaticismintheSecretaryhasahumanpathos，andisalmostaredeemingtrait。ButthelittleDoctorhasabrutalsanitythatismoreshockingthantheSecretary’sdisease。Don’tyounoticehisdetestablevirilityandvitality。Hebounceslikeanindia—rubberball。Dependonit，Sundaywasnotasleep（Iwonderifheeversleeps？）whenhelockedupalltheplansofthisoutrageintheround，blackheadofDr。Bull。\"
\"Andyouthink，\"saidSyme，\"thatthisuniquemonsterwillbesoothedifIplaythepianotohim？\"
\"Don’tbeanass，\"saidhismentor。\"Imentionedthepianobecauseitgivesonequickandindependentfingers。Syme，ifwearetogothroughthisinterviewandcomeoutsaneoralive，wemusthavesomecodeofsignalsbetweenusthatthisbrutewillnotsee。I
havemadearoughalphabeticalcyphercorrespondingtothefivefingers——likethis，see，\"andherippledwithhisfingersonthewoodentable——\"BAD，bad，awordwemayfrequentlyrequire。\"
Symepouredhimselfoutanotherglassofwine，andbegantostudythescheme。Hewasabnormallyquickwithhisbrainsatpuzzles，andwithhishandsatconjuring，anditdidnottakehimlongtolearnhowhemightconveysimplemessagesbywhatwouldseemtobeidletapsuponatableorknee。Butwineandcompanionshiphadalwaystheeffectofinspiringhimtoafarcicalingenuity，andtheProfessorsoonfoundhimselfstrugglingwiththetoovastenergyofthenewlanguage，asitpassedthroughtheheatedbrainofSyme。
\"Wemusthaveseveralword—signs，\"saidSymeseriously——\"wordsthatwearelikelytowant，fineshadesofmeaning。Myfavouritewordis’coeval’。What’syours？\"
\"Dostopplayingthegoat，\"saidtheProfessorplaintively。\"Youdon’tknowhowseriousthisis。\"
\"’Lush’too，\"saidSyme，shakinghisheadsagaciously，\"wemusthave’lush’——wordappliedtograss，don’tyouknow？\"
\"Doyouimagine，\"askedtheProfessorfuriously，\"thatwearegoingtotalktoDr。Bullaboutgrass？\"
\"Thereareseveralwaysinwhichthesubjectcouldbeapproached，\"
saidSymereflectively，\"andthewordintroducedwithoutappearingforced。Wemightsay，’Dr。Bull，asarevolutionist，yourememberthatatyrantonceadvisedustoeatgrass;andindeedmanyofus，lookingonthefreshlushgrassofsummer\"’
\"Doyouunderstand，\"saidtheother，\"thatthisisatragedy？\"
\"Perfectly，\"repliedSyme;\"alwaysbecomicinatragedy。Whatthedeuceelsecanyoudo？Iwishthislanguageofyourshadawiderscope。Isupposewecouldnotextenditfromthefingerstothetoes？Thatwouldinvolvepullingoffourbootsandsocksduringtheconversation，whichhoweverunobtrusivelyperformed——\"
\"Syme，\"saidhisfriendwithasternsimplicity，\"gotobed！\"
Syme，however，satupinbedforaconsiderabletimemasteringthenewcode。Hewasawakenednextmorningwhiletheeastwasstillsealedwithdarkness，andfoundhisgrey—beardedallystandinglikeaghostbesidehisbed。
Symesatupinbedblinking;thenslowlycollectedhisthoughts，threwoffthebed—clothes，andstoodup。Itseemedtohiminsomecuriouswaythatallthesafetyandsociabilityofthenightbeforefellwiththebedclothesoffhim，andhestoodupinanairofcolddanger。Hestillfeltanentiretrustandloyaltytowardshiscompanion;butitwasthetrustbetweentwomengoingtothescaffold。
\"Well，\"saidSymewithaforcedcheerfulnessashepulledonhistrousers，\"Idreamtofthatalphabetofyours。Didittakeyoulongtomakeitup？\"
TheProfessormadenoanswer，butgazedinfrontofhimwitheyesthecolourofawintrysea;soSymerepeatedhisquestion。
\"Isay，didittakeyoulongtoinventallthis？I’mconsideredgoodatthesethings，anditwasagoodhour’sgrind。Didyoulearnitallonthespot？\"
TheProfessorwassilent;hiseyeswerewideopen，andheworeafixedbutverysmallsmile。
\"Howlongdidittakeyou？\"
TheProfessordidnotmove。
\"Confoundyou，can’tyouanswer？\"calledoutSyme，inasuddenangerthathadsomethinglikefearunderneath。WhetherornotheProfessorcouldanswer，hedidnot。
Symestoodstaringbackatthestifffacelikeparchmentandtheblank，blueeyes。HisfirstthoughtwasthattheProfessorhadgonemad，buthissecondthoughtwasmorefrightful。Afterall，whatdidheknowaboutthisqueercreaturewhomhehadheedlesslyacceptedasafriend？Whatdidheknow，exceptthatthemanhadbeenattheanarchistbreakfastandhadtoldhimaridiculoustale？HowimprobableitwasthatthereshouldbeanotherfriendtherebesideGogol！Wasthisman’ssilenceasensationalwayofdeclaringwar？
Wasthisadamantinestareafterallonlytheawfulsneerofsomethreefoldtraitor，whohadturnedforthelasttime？Hestoodandstrainedhisearsinthisheartlesssilence。Healmostfanciedhecouldheardynamiterscometocapturehimshiftingsoftlyinthecorridoroutside。
Thenhiseyestrayeddownwards，andheburstoutlaughing。ThoughtheProfessorhimselfstoodthereasvoicelessasastatue，hisfivedumbfingersweredancingaliveuponthedeadtable。Symewatchedthetwinklingmovementsofthetalkinghand，andreadclearlythemessage——
\"Iwillonlytalklikethis。Wemustgetusedtoit。\"
Herappedouttheanswerwiththeimpatienceofrelief——
\"Allright。Let’sgetouttobreakfast。\"
Theytooktheirhatsandsticksinsilence;butasSymetookhissword—stick，heheldithard。
Theypausedforafewminutesonlytostuffdowncoffeeandcoarsethicksandwichesatacoffeestall，andthenmadetheirwayacrosstheriver，whichunderthegreyandgrowinglightlookedasdesolateasAcheron。Theyreachedthebottomofthehugeblockofbuildingswhichtheyhadseenfromacrosstheriver，andbeganinsilencetomountthenakedandnumberlessstonesteps，onlypausingnowandthentomakeshortremarksontherailofthebanisters。Atabouteveryotherflighttheypassedawindow;eachwindowshowedthemapaleandtragicdawnliftingitselflaboriouslyoverLondon。
Fromeachtheinnumerableroofsofslatelookedliketheleadensurgesofagrey，troubledseaafterrain。Symewasincreasinglyconsciousthathisnewadventurehadsomehowaqualityofcoldsanityworsethanthewildadventuresofthepast。Lastnight，forinstance，thetalltenementshadseemedtohimlikeatowerinadream。Ashenowwentupthewearyandperpetualsteps，hewasdauntedandbewilderedbytheiralmostinfiniteseries。Butitwasnotthehothorrorofadreamorofanythingthatmightbeexaggerationordelusion。Theirinfinitywasmoreliketheemptyinfinityofarithmetic，somethingunthinkable，yetnecessarytothought。Oritwaslikethestunningstatementsofastronomyaboutthedistanceofthefixedstars。Hewasascendingthehouseofreason，athingmorehideousthanunreasonitself。
BythetimetheyreachedDr。Bull’slanding，alastwindowshowedthemaharsh，whitedawnedgedwithbanksofakindofcoarsered，morelikeredclaythanredcloud。AndwhentheyenteredDr。Bull’sbaregarretitwasfulloflight。
Symehadbeenhauntedbyahalfhistoricmemoryinconnectionwiththeseemptyroomsandthatausteredaybreak。ThemomenthesawthegarretandDr。Bullsittingwritingatatable，herememberedwhatthememorywas——theFrenchRevolution。Thereshouldhavebeentheblackoutlineofaguillotineagainstthatheavyredandwhiteofthemorning。Dr。Bullwasinhiswhiteshirtandblackbreechesonly;hiscropped，darkheadmightwellhavejustcomeoutofitswig;hemighthavebeenMaratoramoreslipshodRobespierre。
Yetwhenhewasseenproperly，theFrenchfancyfellaway。TheJacobinswereidealists;therewasaboutthismanamurderousmaterialism。HisDositiongavehimasomewhatnewappearance。Thestrong，whitelightofmorningcomingfromonesidecreatingsharpshadows，madehimseembothmorepaleandmoreangularthanhehadlookedatthebreakfastonthebalcony。Thusthetwoblackglassesthatencasedhiseyesmightreallyhavebeenblackcavitiesinhisskull，makinghimlooklikeadeath’s—head。And，indeed，ifeverDeathhimselfsatwritingatawoodentable，itmighthavebeenhe。
Helookedupandsmiledbrightlyenoughasthemencamein，androsewiththeresilientrapidityofwhichtheProfessorhadspoken。Hesetchairsforbothofthem，andgoingtoapegbehindthedoor，proceededtoputonacoatandwaistcoatofrough，darktweed;hebuttoneditupneatly，andcamebacktositdownathistable。
Thequietgoodhumourofhismannerlefthistwoopponentshelpless。ItwaswithsomemomentarydifficultythattheProfessorbrokesilenceandbegan，\"I’msorrytodisturbyousoearly，comrade，\"saidhe，withacarefulresumptionoftheslowdeWormsmanner。\"YouhavenodoubtmadeallthearrangementsfortheParisaffair？\"Thenheaddedwithinfiniteslowness，\"Wehaveinformationwhichrendersintolerableanythinginthenatureofamoment’sdelay。\"
Dr。Bullsmiledagain，butcontinuedtogazeonthemwithoutspeaking。TheProfessorresumed，apausebeforeeachwearyword——
\"Pleasedonotthinkmeexcessivelyabrupt;butIadviseyoutoalterthoseplans，orifitistoolateforthat，tofollowyouragentwithallthesupportyoucangetforhim。ComradeSymeandIhavehadanexperiencewhichitwouldtakemoretimetorecountthanwecanafford，ifwearetoactonit。Iwill，however，relatetheoccurrenceindetail，evenattheriskoflosingtime，ifyoureallyfeelthatitisessentialtotheunderstandingoftheproblemwehavetodiscuss。\"
Hewasspinningouthissentences，makingthemintolerablylongandlingering，inthehopeofmaddeningthepracticallittleDoctorintoanexplosionofimpatiencewhichmightshowhishand。
ButthelittleDoctorcontinuedonlytostareandsmile，andthemonologuewasuphillwork。Symebegantofeelanewsicknessanddespair。TheDoctor’ssmileandsilencewerenotatalllikethecatalepticstareandhorriblesilencewhichhehadconfrontedintheProfessorhalfanhourbefore。AbouttheProfessor’smakeupandallhisanticstherewasalwayssomethingmerelygrotesque，likeagollywog。SymerememberedthosewildwoesofyesterdayasoneremembersbeingafraidofBogyinchildhood。Butherewasdaylight;herewasahealthy，square—shoulderedmanintweeds，notoddsavefortheaccidentofhisuglyspectacles，notglaringorgrinningatall，butsmilingsteadilyandnotsayingaword。
Thewholehadasenseofunbearablereality。UndertheincreasingsunlightthecoloursoftheDoctor’scomplexion，thepatternofhistweeds，grewandexpandedoutrageously，assuchthingsgrowtooimportantinarealisticnovel。Buthissmilewasquiteslight，theposeofhisheadpolite;theonlyuncannythingwashissilence。
\"AsIsay，\"resumedtheProfessor，likeamantoilingthroughheavysand，\"theincidentthathasoccurredtousandhasledustoaskforinformationabouttheMarquis，isonewhichyoumaythinkitbettertohavenarrated;butasitcameinthewayofComradeSymeratherthanme——\"
Hiswordsheseemedtobedraggingoutlikewordsinananthem;
butSyme，whowaswatching，sawhislongfingersrattlequicklyontheedgeofthecrazytable。Hereadthemessage，\"Youmustgoon。Thisdevilhassuckedmedry！\"
Symeplungedintothebreachwiththatbravadoofimprovisationwhichalwayscametohimwhenhewasalarmed。
\"Yes，thethingreallyhappenedtome，\"hesaidhastily。\"Ihadthegoodfortunetofallintoconversationwithadetectivewhotookme，thankstomyhat，forarespectableperson。Wishingtoclinchmyreputationforrespectability，ItookhimandmadehimverydrunkattheSavoy。Underthisinfluencehebecamefriendly，andtoldmeinsomanywordsthatwithinadayortwotheyhopetoarresttheMarquisinFrance。
SounlessyouorIcangetonhistrack——\"
TheDoctorwasstillsmilinginthemostfriendlyway，andhisprotectedeyeswerestillimpenetrable。TheProfessorsignalledtoSymethathewouldresumehisexplanation，andhebeganagainwiththesameelaboratecalm。
\"Symeimmediatelybroughtthisinformationtome，andwecameheretogethertoseewhatuseyouwouldbeinclinedtomakeofit。Itseemstomeunquestionablyurgentthat——\"
AllthistimeSymehadbeenstaringattheDoctoralmostassteadilyastheDoctorstaredattheProfessor，butquitewithoutthesmile。Thenervesofbothcomrades—in—armswerenearsnappingunderthatstrainofmotionlessamiability，whenSymesuddenlyleantforwardandidlytappedtheedgeofthetable。Hismessagetohisallyran，\"Ihaveanintuition。\"
TheProfessor，withscarcelyapauseinhismonologue，signalledback，\"Thensitonit。\"
Symetelegraphed，\"Itisquiteextraordinary。\"
Theotheranswered，\"Extraordinaryrot！\"
Symesaid，\"Iamapoet。\"
Theotherretorted，\"Youareadeadman。\"
Symehadgonequitereduptohisyellowhair，andhiseyeswereburningfeverishly。Ashesaidhehadanintuition，andithadrisentoasortoflightheadedcertainty。Resuminghissymbolictaps，hesignalledtohisfriend，\"Youscarcelyrealisehowpoeticmyintuitionis。Ithasthatsuddenqualitywesometimesfeelinthecomingofspring。\"
Hethenstudiedtheansweronhisfriend’sfingers。Theanswerwas，\"Gotohell！\"
TheProfessorthenresumedhismerelyverbalmonologueaddressedtotheDoctor。
\"PerhapsIshouldrathersay，\"saidSymeonhisfingers，\"thatitresemblesthatsuddensmelloftheseawhichmaybefoundintheheartoflushwoods。\"
Hiscompaniondisdainedtoreply。
\"Oryetagain，\"tappedSyme，\"itispositive，asisthepassionateredhairofabeautifulwoman。\"
TheProfessorwascontinuinghisspeech，butinthemiddleofitSymedecidedtoact。Heleantacrossthetable，andsaidinavoicethatcouldnotbeneglected——
\"Dr。Bull！\"
TheDoctor’ssleekandsmilingheaddidnotmove，buttheycouldhaveswornthatunderhisdarkglasseshiseyesdartedtowardsSyme。
\"Dr。Bull，\"saidSyme，inavoicepeculiarlypreciseandcourteous，\"wouldyoudomeasmallfavour？Wouldyoubesokindastotakeoffyourspectacles？\"
TheProfessorswungroundonhisseat，andstaredatSymewithasortoffrozenfuryofastonishment。Syme，likeamanwhohasthrownhislifeandfortuneonthetable，leanedforwardwithafieryface。TheDoctordidnotmove。
Forafewsecondstherewasasilenceinwhichonecouldhearapindrop，splitoncebythesinglehootofadistantsteamerontheThames。ThenDr。Bullroseslowly，stillsmiling，andtookoffhisspectacles。
Symesprangtohisfeet，steppingbackwardsalittle，likeachemicallecturerfromasuccessfulexplosion。Hiseyeswerelikestars，andforaninstanthecouldonlypointwithoutspeaking。
TheProfessorhadalsostartedtohisfeet，forgetfulofhissupposedparalysis。HeleantonthebackofthechairandstareddoubtfullyatDr。Bull，asiftheDoctorhadbeenturnedintoatoadbeforehiseyes。Andindeeditwasalmostasgreatatransformationscene。
Thetwodetectivessawsittinginthechairbeforethemaveryboyish—lookingyoungman，withveryfrankandhappyhazeleyes，anopenexpression，cockneyclotheslikethoseofacityclerk，andanunquestionablebreathabouthimofbeingverygoodandrathercommonplace。Thesmilewasstillthere，butitmighthavebeenthefirstsmileofababy。
\"IknewIwasapoet，\"criedSymeinasortofecstasy。\"IknewmyintuitionwasasinfallibleasthePope。Itwasthespectaclesthatdidit！Itwasallthespectacles。Giventhosebeastlyblackeyes，andalltherestofhimhishealthandhisjollylooks，madehimalivedevilamongdeadones。\"
\"Itcertainlydoesmakeaqueerdifference，\"saidtheProfessorshakily。\"ButasregardstheprojectofDr。Bull——\"
\"Projectbedamned！\"roaredSyme，besidehimself。\"Lookathim！
Lookathisface，lookathiscollar，lookathisblessedboots！
Youdon’tsuppose，doyou，thatthatthing’sananarchist？\"
\"Syme！\"criedtheotherinanapprehensiveagony。
\"Why，byGod，\"saidSyme，\"I’lltaketheriskofthatmyself！Dr。
Bull，Iamapoliceofficer。There’smycard，\"andheflungdownthebluecarduponthetable。
TheProfessorstillfearedthatallwaslost;buthewasloyal。Hepulledouthisownofficialcardandputitbesidehisfriend’s。
Thenthethirdmanburstoutlaughing，andforthefirsttimethatmorningtheyheardhisvoice。
\"I’mawfullygladyouchapshavecomesoearly，\"hesaid，withasortofschoolboyflippancy，\"forwecanallstartforFrancetogether。Yes，I’mintheforcerightenough，\"andheflickedabluecardtowardsthemlightlyasamatterofform。
Clappingabriskbowleronhisheadandresuminghisgoblinglasses，theDoctormovedsoquicklytowardsthedoor，thattheothersinstinctivelyfollowedhim。Symeseemedalittledistrait，andashepassedunderthedoorwayhesuddenlystruckhisstickonthestonepassagesothatitrang。
\"ButLordGodAlmighty，\"hecriedout，\"ifthisisallright，thereweremoredamneddetectivesthanthereweredamneddynamitersatthedamnedCouncil！\"
\"Wemighthavefoughteasily，\"saidBull;\"wewerefouragainstthree。\"
TheProfessorwasdescendingthestairs，buthisvoicecameupfrombelow。
\"No，\"saidthevoice，\"wewerenotfouragainstthree——wewerenotsolucky。WewerefouragainstOne。\"
Theotherswentdownthestairsinsilence。
TheyoungmancalledBull，withaninnocentcourtesycharacteristicofhim，insistedongoinglastuntiltheyreachedthestreet;buttherehisownrobustrapidityasserteditselfunconsciously，andhewalkedquicklyonaheadtowardsarailwayinquiryoffice，talkingtotheothersoverhisshoulder。
\"Itisjollytogetsomepals，\"hesaid。\"I’vebeenhalfdeadwiththejumps，beingquitealone。InearlyflungmyarmsroundGogolandembracedhim，whichwouldhavebeenimprudent。Ihopeyouwon’tdespisemeforhavingbeeninabluefunk。\"
\"Allthebluedevilsinbluehell，\"saidSyme，\"contributedtomybluefunk！Buttheworstdevilwasyouandyourinfernalgoggles。\"
Theyoungmanlaugheddelightedly。