TheywillnotletyouplaywithfireOrtripyoursisterupwithwire，Theygrudgethetea—trayforadrum，Orbooby—trapswhencallerscome。
Theydon’tlikefishing，andit’strueYousometimessoakasuitortwo：
Theylookonfireworks，thoughthey’redry，Withquiteadisapprovingeye。
TheydonotunderstandthewayTogetthemostoutofyourday：
TheydonotknowhowhungerfeelsNorwhatyouneedbetweenyourmeals。
Andwhenyou’resenttobedatnight，They’rehappy，butthey’renotpolite。
Forthroughthedooryouhearthemsay：
’He’sdonehismischieffortheday！’
ShetoldusalotofotherpiecesbutIcannotrememberthem，andshetalkedtousallthewayup，andwhenwegotnearlytoCannonStreetshesaid—
’I’vegottwonewshillingshere！DoyouthinktheywouldhelptosmooththepathtoFame？’
Noelsaid，’Thankyou，’andwasgoingtotaketheshilling。ButOswald，whoalwaysrememberswhatheistold，said—
’Thankyouverymuch，butFathertoldusweoughtnevertotakeanythingfromstrangers。’
’That’sanastyone，’saidthelady—shedidn’ttalkabitlikeareallady，butmorelikeajollysortofgrown—upboyinadressandhat—’averynastyone！Butdon’tyouthinkasNoelandIarebothpoetsImightbeconsideredasortofrelation？You’veheardofbrotherpoets，haven’tyou？Don’tyouthinkNoElandIareauntandnephewpoets，orsomerelationshipofthatkind？’
Ididn’tknowwhattosay，andshewenton—
’It’sawfullystraightofyoutosticktowhatyourFathertellsyou，butlookhere，youtaketheshillings，andhere’smycard。
WhenyougethometellyourFatherallaboutit，andifhesaysNo，youcanjustbringtheshillingsbacktome。’
Sowetooktheshillings，andsheshookhandswithusandsaid，’Good—bye，andgoodhunting！’
WedidtellFatheraboutit，andhesaiditwasallright，andwhenhelookedatthecardhetolduswewerehighlyhonoured，fortheladywrotebetterpoetrythananyotherladyalivenow。Wehadneverheardofher，andsheseemedmuchtoojollyforapoet。GoodoldKipling！Weowehimthosetwoshillings，aswellasthejunglebooks！
CHAPTER5
THEPOETANDTHEEDITOR
Itwasnotbadsport—beinginLondonentirelyonourownhook。
WeaskedthewaytoFleetStreet，whereFathersaysallthenewspaperofficesare。TheysaidstraightondownLudgateHill—
butitturnedouttobequiteanotherway。Atleastwedidn’tgostraighton。
WegottoStPaul’s。NoelWOULDgoin，andwesawwhereGordonwasburied—atleastthemonument。Itisveryflat，consideringwhatamanhewas。
Whenwecameoutwewalkedalongway，andwhenweaskedapolicemanhesaidwe’dbettergobackthroughSmithfield。Sowedid。Theydon’tburnpeopleanymoretherenow，soitwasratherdull，besidesbeingalongway，andNoelgotverytired。He’sapeakylittlechap;itcomesofbeingapoet，Ithink。Wehadabunortwoatdifferentshops—outoftheshillings—anditwasquitelateintheafternoonwhenwegottoFleetStreet。Thegaswaslightedandtheelectriclights。ThereisajollyBovrilsignthatcomesoffandonindifferentcolouredlamps。WewenttotheDailyRecorderoffice，andaskedtoseetheEditor。Itisabigoffice，verybright，withbrassandmahoganyandelectriclights。
TheytoldustheEditorwasn’tthere，butatanotheroffice。Sowewentdownadirtystreet，toaverydull—lookingplace。Therewasamanthereinside，inaglasscase，asifhewasamuseum，andhetoldustowritedownournamesandourbusiness。SoOswaldwrote—
OSWALDBASTABLE。
NOELBASTABLE。
Businessveryprivateindeed。
Thenwewaitedonthestonestairs;itwasverydraughty。Andthemanintheglasscaselookedatusasifwewerethemuseuminsteadofhim。Wewaitedalongtime，andthenaboycamedownandsaid—
’TheEditorcan’tseeyou。Willyoupleasewriteyourbusiness？’
Andhelaughed。Iwantedtopunchhishead。
ButNoelsaid，’Yes，I’llwriteitifyou’llgivemeapenandink，andasheetofpaperandanenvelope。’
Theboysaidhe’dbetterwritebypost。ButNoelisabitpig—headed;it’shisworstfault。Sohesaid—
’No，I’llwriteitnow。’SoIbackedhimupbysaying—
’Lookatthepricepennystampsaresincethecoalstrike！’
Sotheboygrinned，andthemanintheglasscasegaveuspenandpaper，andNoelwrote。Oswaldwritesbetterthanhedoes;butNoelwoulddoit;andittookaverylongtime，andthenitwasinky。
DEARMREDITOR，Iwantyoutoprintmypoetryandpayforit，andIamafriendofMrsLeslie’s;sheisapoettoo。
Youraffectionatefriend，NOELBASTABLE。
Helickedtheenvelopeagooddeal，sothatthatboyshouldn’treaditgoingupstairs;andhewrote’Veryprivate’outside，andgavethelettertotheboy。Ithoughtitwasn’tanygood;butinaminutethegrinningboycameback，andhewasquiterespectful，andsaid—’TheEditorsays，pleasewillyoustepup？’
Westeppedup。Therewerealotofstairsandpassages，andaqueersortofhumming，hammeringsoundandaveryfunnysmell。Theboywasnowverypolite，andsaiditwastheinkwesmelt，andthenoisewastheprintingmachines。
Aftergoingthroughalotofcoldpassageswecametoadoor;theboyopenedit，andletusgoin。Therewasalargeroom，withabig，soft，blue—and—redcarpet，andaroaringfire，thoughitwasonlyOctober;andalargetablewithdrawers，andlitteredwithpapers，justliketheoneinFather’sstudy。Agentlemanwassittingatonesideofthetable;hehadalightmoustacheandlighteyes，andhelookedveryyoungtobeaneditor—notnearlysooldasFather。Helookedverytiredandsleepy，asifhehadgotupveryearlyinthemorning;buthewaskind，andwelikedhim。Oswaldthoughthelookedclever。Oswaldisconsideredajudgeoffaces。
’Well，’saidhe，’soyouareMrsLeslie’sfriends？’
’Ithinkso，’saidNoel;’atleastshegaveuseachashilling，andshewishedus\"goodhunting！\"’
’Goodhunting，eh？Well，whataboutthispoetryofyours？Whichisthepoet？’
Ican’tthinkhowhecouldhaveasked！Oswaldissaidtobeaverymanly—lookingboyforhisage。However，Ithoughtitwouldlookduffingtobeoffended，soIsaid—
’ThisismybrotherNoel。Heisthepoet。’Noelhadturnedquitepale。Heisdisgustinglylikeagirlinsomeways。TheEditortoldustositdown，andhetookthepoemsfromNoel，andbegantoreadthem。Noelgotpalerandpaler;Ireallythoughthewasgoingtofaint，likehedidwhenIheldhishandunderthecold—watertap，afterIhadaccidentallycuthimwithmychisel。WhentheEditorhadreadthefirstpoem—itwastheoneaboutthebeetle—
hegotupandstoodwithhisbacktous。Itwasnotmanners;butNoelthinkshedidit’toconcealhisemotion，’astheydoinbooks。Hereadallthepoems，andthenhesaid—
’Ilikeyourpoetryverymuch，youngman。I’llgiveyou—letmesee;howmuchshallIgiveyouforit？’
’Asmuchaseveryoucan，’saidNoel。’YouseeIwantagooddealofmoneytorestorethefallenfortunesofthehouseofBastable。’
Thegentlemanputonsomeeye—glassesandlookedhardatus。Thenhesatdown。
’That’sagoodidea，’saidhe。’Tellmehowyoucametothinkofit。And，Isay，haveyouhadanytea？They’vejustsentoutformine。’
Herangatinglybell，andtheboybroughtinatraywithateapotandathickcupandsaucerandthings，andhehadtofetchanothertrayforus，whenhewastoldto;andwehadteawiththeEditoroftheDailyRecorder。IsupposeitwasaveryproudmomentforNoel，thoughIdidnotthinkofthattillafterwards。TheEditoraskedusalotofquestions，andwetoldhimagooddeal，thoughofcourseIdidnottellastrangerallourreasonsforthinkingthatthefamilyfortuneswantedrestoring。Westayedabouthalfanhour，andwhenweweregoingawayhesaidagain—
’Ishallprintallyourpoems，mypoet;andnowwhatdoyouthinkthey’reworth？’
’Idon’tknow，’Noelsaid。’YouseeIdidn’twritethemtosell。’
’Whydidyouwritethemthen？’heasked。
Noelsaidhedidn’tknow;hesupposedbecausehewantedto。
’ArtforArt’ssake，eh？’saidtheEditor，andheseemedquitedelighted，asthoughNoelhadsaidsomethingclever。
’Well，wouldaguineameetyourviews？’heasked。
Ihavereadofpeoplebeingatalossforwords，anddumbwithemotion，andI’vereadofpeoplebeingturnedtostonewithastonishment，orjoy，orsomething，butIneverknewhowsillyitlookedtillIsawNoelstandingstaringattheEditorwithhismouthopen。Hewentredandhewentwhite，andthenhegotcrimson，asifyouwererubbingmoreandmorecrimsonlakeonapalette。Buthedidn’tsayaword，soOswaldhadtosay—’I
shouldjollywellthinkso。’
SotheEditorgaveNoelasovereignandashilling，andheshookhandswithusboth，buthethumpedNoelonthebackandsaid—
’Buckup，oldman！It’syourfirstguinea，butitwon’tbeyourlast。Nowgoalonghome，andinabouttenyearsyoucanbringmesomemorepoetry。Notbefore—see？I’mjusttakingthispoetryofyoursbecauseIlikeitverymuch;butwedon’tputpoetryinthispaperatall。IshallhavetoputitinanotherpaperIknowof。’
’Whatdoyouputinyourpaper？’Iasked，forFatheralwaystakestheDailyChronicle，andIdidn’tknowwhattheRecorderwaslike。
Wechoseitbecauseithassuchagloriousoffice，andaclockoutsidelightedup。
’Oh，news，’saidhe，’anddullarticles，andthingsaboutCelebrities。IfyouknowanyCelebrities，now？’
NoelaskedhimwhatCelebritieswere。
’Oh，theQueenandthePrinces，andpeoplewithtitles，andpeoplewhowrite，orsing，oract—ordosomethingcleverorwicked。’
’Idon’tknowanybodywicked，’saidOswald，wishinghehadknownDickTurpin，orClaudeDuval，soastobeabletotelltheEditorthingsaboutthem。’ButIknowsomeonewithatitle—LordTottenham。’
’ThemadoldProtectionist，eh？Howdidyoucometoknowhim？’
’Wedon’tknowhimtospeakto。ButhegoesovertheHeatheverydayatthree，andhestridesalonglikeagiant—withablackcloaklikeLordTennyson’sflyingbehindhim，andhetalkstohimselflikeoneo’clock。’
’Whatdoeshesay？’TheEditorhadsatdownagain，andhewasfiddlingwithabluepencil。
’Weonlyheardhimonce，closeenoughtounderstand，andthenhesaid，\"Thecurseofthecountry，sir—ruinanddesolation！\"Andthenhewentstridingalongagain，hittingatthefurze—bushesasiftheyweretheheadsofhisenemies。’
’Excellentdescriptivetouch，’saidtheEditor。’Well，goon。’
’That’sallIknowabouthim，exceptthathestopsinthemiddleoftheHeatheveryday，andhelooksallroundtoseeifthere’sanyoneabout，andifthereisn’t，hetakeshiscollaroff。’
TheEditorinterrupted—whichisconsideredrude—andsaid—
’You’renotromancing？’
’Ibegyourpardon？’saidOswald。
’Drawingthelongbow，Imean，’saidtheEditor。
Oswalddrewhimselfup，andsaidhewasn’taliar。
TheEditoronlylaughed，andsaidromancingandlyingwerenotatallthesame;onlyitwasimportanttoknowwhatyouwereplayingat。SoOswaldacceptedhisapology，andwenton。
’Wewerehidingamongthefurze—bushesoneday，andwesawhimdoit。Hetookoffhiscollar，andheputonacleanone，andhethrewtheotheramongthefurze—bushes。Wepickeditupafterwards，anditwasabeastlypaperone！’
’Thankyou，’saidtheEditor，andhegotupandputhishandinhispocket。’That’swellworthfiveshillings，andtheretheyare。
Wouldyouliketoseeroundtheprintingofficesbeforeyougohome？’
Ipocketedmyfivebob，andthankedhim，andIsaidweshouldlikeitverymuch。Hecalledanothergentlemanandsaidsomethingwecouldn’thear。Thenhesaidgood—byeagain;andallthistimeNoelhadn’tsaidaword。Butnowhesaid，’I’vemadeapoemaboutyou。
Itiscalled\"LinestoaNobleEditor。\"ShallIwriteitdown？’
TheEditorgavehimthebluepencil，andhesatdownattheEditor’stableandwrote。Itwasthis，hetoldmeafterwardsaswellashecouldremember—
MayLife’schoicestblessingsbeyourlotIthinkyououghttobeveryblestForyouaregoingtoprintmypoems—
Andyoumayhavethisoneaswellastherest。
’Thankyou，’saidtheEditor。’Idon’tthinkIeverhadapoemaddressedtomebefore。Ishalltreasureit，Iassureyou。’
ThentheothergentlemansaidsomethingaboutMaecenas，andwewentofftoseetheprintingofficewithatleastonepoundseveninourpockets。
Itwasgoodhunting，andnomistake！
ButheneverputNoel’spoetryintheDailyRecorder。Itwasquitealongtimeafterwardswesawasortofstorythinginamagazine，onthestationbookstall，andthatkind，sleepy—lookingEditorhadwrittenit，Isuppose。Itwasnotatallamusing。ItsaidalotaboutNoelandme，describingusallwrong，andsayinghowwehadteawiththeEditor;andallNoel’spoemswereinthestorything。
IthinkmyselftheEditorseemedtomakegameofthem，butNoelwasquitepleasedtoseethemprinted—sothat’sallright。Itwasn’tmypoetryanyhow，Iamgladtosay。
CHAPTER6
NOEL’SPRINCESS
Shehappenedquiteaccidentally。WewerenotlookingforaPrincessatalljustthen;butNoelhadsaidhewasgoingtofindaPrincessallbyhimself;andmarryher—andhereallydid。
Whichwasratherodd，becausewhenpeoplesaythingsaregoingtobefall，veryoftentheydon’t。Itwasdifferent，ofcourse，withtheprophetsofold。
Wedidnotgetanytreasurebyit，excepttwelvechocolatedrops;
butwemighthavedone，anditwasanadventure，anyhow。
GreenwichParkisajollygoodplacetoplayin，especiallythepartsthataren’tnearGreenwich。ThepartsneartheHeatharefirst—rate。IoftenwishtheParkwasnearerourhouse;butI
supposeaParkisadifficultthingtomove。
SometimeswegetElizatoputlunchinabasket，andwegouptothePark。Shelikesthat—itsavescookingdinnerforus;andsometimesshesaysofherownaccord，’I’vemadesomepastiesforyou，andyoumightaswellgointotheParkasnot。It’salovelyday。’
Shealwaystellsustorinseoutthecupatthedrinking—fountain，andthegirlsdo;butIalwaysputmyheadunderthetapanddrink。
Thenyouareanintrepidhunteratamountainstream—andbesides，you’resureit’sclean。Dickydoesthesame，andsodoesH。O。ButNoelalwaysdrinksoutofthecup。Hesaysitisagoldengobletwroughtbyenchantedgnomes。
ThedaythePrincesshappenedwasafine，hotday，lastOctober，andwewerequitetiredwiththewalkuptothePark。
WealwaysgoinbythelittlegateatthetopofCroom’sHill。Itistheposterngatethatthingsalwayshappenatinstories。Itwasdustywalking，butwhenwegotintheParkitwasripping，sowerestedabit，andlayonourbacks，andlookedupatthetrees，andwishedwecouldplaymonkeys。Ihavedoneitbeforenow，butthePark—keepermakesarowifhecatchesyou。Whenwe’drestedalittle，Alicesaid—
’Itwasalongwaytotheenchantedwood，butitisverynicenowwearethere。Iwonderwhatweshallfindinit？’
’Weshallfinddeer，’saidDicky，’ifwegotolook;buttheygoontheothersideoftheParkbecauseofthepeoplewithbuns。’
Sayingbunsmadeusthinkoflunch，sowehadit;andwhenwehaddonewescratchedaholeunderatreeandburiedthepapers，becauseweknowitspoilsprettyplacestoleavebeastly，greasypaperslyingabout。IrememberMotherteachingmeandDorathat，whenwewerequitelittle。Iwisheverybody’sparentswouldteachthemthisusefullesson，andthesameaboutorangepeel。
Whenwe’deateneverythingtherewas，Alicewhispered—
’Iseethewhitewitchbearyonderamongthetrees！Let’strackitandslayitinitslair。’
’Iamthebear，’saidNoEl;sohecreptaway，andwefollowedhimamongthetrees。Oftenthewitchbearwasoutofsight，andthenyoudidn’tknowwhereitwouldjumpoutfrom;butsometimeswesawit，andjustfollowed。
’Whenwecatchitthere’llbeagreatfight，’saidOswald;’andI
shallbeCountFolkoofMontFaucon。’
’I’llbeGabrielle，’saidDora。Sheistheonlyoneofuswholikesdoinggirl’sparts。
’I’llbeSintram，’saidAlice;’andH。O。canbetheLittleMaster。’
’WhataboutDicky？’
’Oh，IcanbethePilgrimwiththebones。’
’Hist！’whisperedAlice。’Seehiswhitefairyfurgleamingamidyondercovert！’
AndIsawabitofwhitetoo。ItwasNoel’scollar，andithadcomeundoneattheback。
Wehuntedthebearinandoutofthetrees，andthenwelosthimaltogether;andsuddenlywefoundthewallofthePark—inaplacewhereI’msuretherewasn’tawallbefore。Noelwasn’tanywhereabout，andtherewasadoorinthewall。Anditwasopen;sowewentthrough。
’Thebearhashiddenhimselfinthesemountainfastnesses，’Oswaldsaid。’Iwilldrawmygoodswordandafterhim。’
SoIdrewtheumbrella，whichDoraalwayswillbringincaseitrains，becauseNoelgetsacoldonthechestattheleastthing—
andwewenton。
Theothersideofthewallitwasastableyard，allcobble—stones。
Therewasnobodyabout—butwecouldhearamanrubbingdownahorseandhissinginthestable;sowecreptveryquietlypast，andAlicewhispered—
’’TisthelairoftheMonsterSerpent;Ihearhisdeadlyhiss！
Beware！Courageanddespatch！’
Wewentoverthestonesontiptoe，andwefoundanotherwallwithanotherdoorinitontheotherside。Wewentthroughthattoo，ontiptoe。Itreallywasanadventure。Andtherewewereinashrubbery，andwesawsomethingwhitethroughthetrees。Dorasaiditwasthewhitebear。ThatissolikeDora。Shealwaysbeginstotakepartinaplayjustwhentherestofusaregettingtiredofit。Idon’tmeanthisunkindly，becauseIamveryfondofDora。
IcannotforgethowkindshewaswhenIhadbronchitis;andingratitudeisadreadfulvice。Butitisquitetrue。
’Itisnotabear，’saidOswald;andweallwenton，stillontiptoe，roundatwistypathandontoalawn，andtherewasNoel。
Hiscollarhadcomeundone，asIsaid，andhehadaninkymarkonhisfacethathemadejustbeforeweleftthehouse，andhewouldn’tletDorawashitoff，andoneofhisbootlaceswascomingdown。Hewasstandinglookingatalittlegirl;shewasthefunniestlittlegirlyoueversaw。
Shewaslikeachinadoll—thesixpennykind;shehadawhiteface，andlongyellowhair，doneupverytightintwopigtails;herforeheadwasverybigandlumpy，andhercheekscamehighup，likelittleshelvesunderhereyes。Hereyesweresmallandblue。Shehadonafunnyblackfrock，withcurlybraidonit，andbuttonbootsthatwentalmostuptoherknees。Herlegswereverythin。
Shewassittinginahammockchairnursingabluekitten—notasky—blueone，ofcourse，butthecolourofanewslatepencil。AswecameupweheardhersaytoNoel—’Whoareyou？’
Noelhadforgottenaboutthebear，andhewastakinghisfavouritepart，sohesaid—’I’mPrinceCamaralzaman。’Thefunnylittlegirllookedpleased。
’Ithoughtatfirstyouwereacommonboy，’shesaid。Thenshesawtherestofusandsaid—’AreyouallPrincessesandPrincestoo？’
Ofcoursewesaid’Yes，’andshesaid—’IamaPrincessalso。’
Shesaiditverywelltoo，exactlyasifitweretrue。Wewereveryglad，becauseitissoseldomyoumeetanychildrenwhocanbegintoplayrightoffwithouthavingeverythingexplainedtothem。Andeventhentheywillsaytheyaregoingto’pretendtobe’alion，orawitch，oraking。Nowthislittlegirljustsaid’IamaPrincess。’ThenshelookedatOswaldandsaid，’IfancyI’veseenyouatBaden。’OfcourseOswaldsaid，’Verylikely。’
Thelittlegirlhadafunnyvoice，andallherwordswerequiteplain，eachwordbyitself;shedidn’ttalkatalllikewedo。
H。O。askedherwhatthecat’snamewas，andshesaid’Katinka。’
ThenDickysaid—
’Let’sgetawayfromthewindows;ifyouplaynearwindowssomeoneinsidegenerallyknocksatthemandsays\"Don’t\"。’
ThePrincessputdownthecatverycarefullyandsaid—
’Iamforbiddentowalkoffthegrass。’
’That’sapity，’saidDora。
’ButIwillifyoulike，’saidthePrincess。
’Youmustn’tdothingsyouareforbiddentodo，’Dorasaid;butDickyshowedusthattherewassomemoregrassbeyondtheshrubswithonlyagravelpathbetween。SoIliftedthePrincessoverthegravel，sothatsheshouldbeabletosayshehadn’twalkedoffthegrass。Whenwegottotheothergrassweallsatdown，andthePrincessaskedusifweliked’dragees’（Iknowthat’showyouspellit，forIaskedAlbert—next—door’suncle）。
Wesaidwethoughtnot，butshepulledarealsilverboxoutofherpocketandshowedus;theywerejustflat，roundchocolates。Wehadtwoeach。Thenweaskedherhername，andshebegan，andwhenshebeganshewenton，andon，andon，tillIthoughtshewasnevergoingtostop。H。O。saidshehadfiftynames，butDickyisverygoodatfigures，andhesaystherewereonlyeighteen。ThefirstwerePauline，Alexandra，Alice，andMarywasone，andVictoria，forweallheardthat，anditendedupwithHildegardeCunigondesomethingorother，Princessofsomethingelse。
Whenshe’ddone，H。O。said，’That’sjollygood！Sayitagain！’
andshedid，buteventhenwecouldn’trememberit。Wetoldherournames，butshethoughttheyweretooshort，sowhenitwasNoel’sturnhesaidhewasPrinceNoelCamaralzamanIvanConstantineCharlemagneJamesJohnEdwardBiggsMaximilianBastablePrinceofLewisham，butwhensheaskedhimtosayitagainofcoursehecouldonlygetthefirsttwonamesright，becausehe’dmadeitupashewenton。
SothePrincesssaid，’Youarequiteoldenoughtoknowyourownname。’Shewasverygraveandserious。
ShetoldusthatshewasthefifthcousinofQueenVictoria。Weaskedwhotheothercousinswere，butshedidnotseemtounderstand。Shewentonandsaidshewasseventimesremoved。Shecouldn’ttelluswhatthatmeanteither，butOswaldthinksitmeansthattheQueen’scousinsaresofondofherthattheywillkeepcomingbothering，sotheQueen’sservantshaveorderstoremovethem。ThislittlegirlmusthavebeenveryfondoftheQueentotrysooftentoseeher，andtohavebeenseventimesremoved。Wecouldseethatitisconsideredsomethingtobeproudof;butwethoughtitwashardontheQueenthathercousinswouldn’tletheralone。
Presentlythelittlegirlaskeduswhereourmaidsandgovernesseswere。
Wetoldherwehadn’tanyjustnow。Andshesaid—
’Howpleasant！Anddidyoucomeherealone？’
’Yes，’saidDora;’wecameacrosstheHeath。’
’Youareveryfortunate，’saidthelittlegirl。Shesatveryuprightonthegrass，withherfatlittlehandsinherlap。’I
shouldliketogoontheHeath。Therearedonkeysthere，withwhitesaddlecovers。Ishouldliketoridethem，butmygovernesswillnotpermit。’
’I’mgladwehaven’tagoverness，’H。O。said。’Weridethedonkeyswheneverwehaveanypennies，andonceIgavethemananotherpennytomakeitgallop。’
’Youareindeedfortunate！’saidthePrincessagain，andwhenshelookedsadtheshelvesonhercheeksshowedmorethanever。Youcouldhavelaidasixpenceonthemquitesafelyifyouhadhadone。
’Nevermind，’saidNoel;’I’vegotalotofmoney。Comeoutandhavearidenow。’Butthelittlegirlshookherheadandsaidshewasafraiditwouldnotbecorrect。
Dorasaidshewasquiteright;thenallofasuddencameoneofthoseuncomfortabletimeswhennobodycanthinkofanythingtosay，sowesatandlookedateachother。ButatlastAlicesaidweoughttobegoing。
’Donotgoyet，’thelittlegirlsaid。’Atwhattimedidtheyorderyourcarriage？’
’Ourcarriageisafairyone，drawnbygriffins，anditcomeswhenwewishforit，’saidNoel。
Thelittlegirllookedathimveryqueerly，andsaid，’Thatisoutofapicture—book。’
ThenNoelsaidhethoughtitwasabouttimehewasmarriedifweweretobehomeintimefortea。Thelittlegirlwasratherstupidoverit，butshedidwhatwetoldher，andwemarriedthemwithDora’spocket—handkerchiefforaveil，andtheringoffthebackofoneofthebuttonsonH。O。’sblousejustwentonherlittlefinger。
Thenweshowedherhowtoplaycross—touch，andpussinthecorner，andtag。Itwasfunny，shedidn’tknowanygamesbutbattledoreandshuttlecockandlesgraces。Butshereallybegantolaughatlastandnottolookquitesolikeadoll。
ShewasPussandwasrunningafterDickywhensuddenlyshestoppedshortandlookedasifshewasgoingtocry。Andwelookedtoo，andthereweretwoprimladieswithlittlemouthsandtighthair。
Oneofthemsaidinquiteanawfulvoice，’Pauline，whoarethesechildren？’andhervoicewasgruff;withverycurlyR’s。
ThelittlegirlsaidwewerePrincesandPrincesses—whichwassilly，toagrown—uppersonthatisnotagreatfriendofyours。
Thegruffladygaveashort，horridlaugh，likeahuskybark，andsaid—
’Princes，indeed！They’reonlycommonchildren！’
Doraturnedveryredandbegantospeak，butthelittlegirlcriedout’Commonchildren！Oh，Iamsoglad！WhenIamgrownupI’llalwaysplaywithcommonchildren。’
Andsheranatus，andbegantokissusonebyone，beginningwithAlice;shehadgottoH。O。whenthehorridladysaid—’YourHighness—goindoorsatonce！’
Thelittlegirlanswered，’Iwon’t！’
Thentheprimladysaid—’Wilson，carryherHighnessindoors。’
Andthelittlegirlwascarriedawayscreaming，andkickingwithherlittlethinlegsandherbuttonedboots，andbetweenherscreamssheshrieked：
’Commonchildren！Iamglad，glad，glad！Commonchildren！Commonchildren！’
Thenastyladythenremarked—’Goatonce，orIwillsendforthepolice！’
Sowewent。H。O。madeafaceatherandsodidAlice，butOswaldtookoffhiscapandsaidhewassorryifshewasannoyedaboutanything;forOswaldhasalwaysbeentaughttobepolitetoladies，howevernasty。Dickytookhisoff，too，whenhesawmedoit;hesayshediditfirst，butthatisamistake。IfIwerereallyacommonboyIshouldsayitwasalie。
Thenweallcameaway，andwhenwegotoutsideDorasaid，’SoshewasreallyaPrincess。FancyaPrincesslivingthere！’
’EvenPrincesseshavetolivesomewhere，’saidDicky。
’AndIthoughtitwasplay。Anditwasreal。IwishI’dknown！
Ishouldhavelikedtoaskherlotsofthings，’saidAlice。
H。O。saidhewouldhavelikedtoaskherwhatshehadfordinnerandwhethershehadacrown。
Ifelt，myself，wehadlostachanceoffindingoutagreatdealaboutkingsandqueens。Imighthaveknownsuchastupid—lookinglittlegirlwouldneverhavebeenabletopretend，aswellasthat。
SoweallwenthomeacrosstheHeath，andmadedrippingtoastfortea。
WhenwewereeatingitNoelsaid，’IwishIcouldgivehersome！
Itisverygood。’
Hesighedashesaidit，andhismouthwasveryfull，soweknewhewasthinkingofhisPrincess。Hesaysnowthatshewasasbeautifulastheday，butwerememberherquitewell，andshewasnothingofthekind。
CHAPTER7
BEINGBANDITS
NoelwasquitetiresomeforeversolongafterwefoundthePrincess。HewouldkeeponwantingtogototheParkwhentherestofusdidn’t，andthoughwewentseveraltimestopleasehim，weneverfoundthatdooropenagain，andallofusexcepthimknewfromthefirstthatitwouldbenogo。
Sonowwethoughtitwastimetodosomethingtorousehimfromthestuporofdespair，whichisalwaysdonetoheroeswhenanythingbafflinghasoccurred。Besides，weweregettingveryshortofmoneyagain—thefortunesofyourhousecannotberestored（notsothattheywilllast，thatis），evenbytheonepoundeightwegotwhenwehadthe’goodhunting。’WespentagooddealofthatonpresentsforFather’sbirthday。Wegothimapaper—weight，likeaglassbun，withapictureofLewishamChurchatthebottom;andablotting—pad，andaboxofpreservedfruits，andanivorypenholderwithaviewofGreenwichParkinthelittleholewhereyoulookthroughatthetop。Hewasmostawfullypleasedandsurprised，andwhenheheardhowNoelandOswaldhadearnedthemoneytobuythethingshewasmoresurprisedstill。NearlyalltherestofourmoneywenttogetfireworksfortheFifthofNovember。WegotsixCatherinewheelsandfourrockets;twohand—lights，oneredandonegreen;asixpennymaroon;twoRoman—candles—theycostashilling;
someItalianstreamers，afairyfountain，andatourbillonthatcosteighteen—penceandwasverynearlyworthit。
ButIthinkcrackersandsquibsareamistake。It’strueyougetalotofthemforthemoney，andtheyarenotbadfunforthefirsttwoorthreedozen，butyougetjollysickofthembeforeyou’veletoffyoursixpenn’orth。Andtheonlyamusingwayisnotallowed：itisputtingtheminthefire。
Italwaysseemsalongtimetilltheeveningwhenyouhavegotfireworksinthehouse，andIthinkasitwasaratherfoggydayweshouldhavedecidedtoletthemoffdirectlyafterbreakfast，onlyFatherhadsaidhewouldhelpustoletthemoffateighto’clockafterhehadhadhisdinner，andyououghtnevertodisappointyourfatherifyoucanhelpit。
YouseewehadthreegoodreasonsfortryingH。O。’sideaofrestoringthefallenfortunesofourhousebybecomingbanditsontheFifthofNovember。Wehadafourthreasonaswell，andthatwasthebestreasonofthelot。YourememberDorathoughtitwouldbewrongtobebandits。AndtheFifthofNovembercamewhileDorawasawayatStroudstayingwithhergodmother。StroudisinGloucestershire。Weweredeterminedtodoitwhileshewasoutoftheway，becausewedidnotthinkitwrong，andbesideswemeanttodoitanyhow。
WeheldaCouncil，ofcourse，andlaidourplansverycarefully。
WeletH。O。beCaptain，becauseitwashisidea。OswaldwasLieutenant。Oswaldwasquitefair，becauseheletH。O。callhimselfCaptain;butOswaldistheeldestnexttoDora，afterall。
Ourplanwasthis。WewerealltogoupontotheHeath。OurhouseisintheLewishamRoad，butit’squiteclosetotheHeathifyoucutuptheshortwayoppositetheconfectioner’s，pastthenurserygardensandthecottagehospital，andturntotheleftagainandafterwardstotheright。Youcomeoutthenatthetopofthehill，wherethebiggunsarewiththeironfenceroundthem，andwherethebandsplayonThursdayeveningsinthesummer。
Weweretolurkinambushthere，andwaylayanunwarytraveller。
Weweretocalluponhimtosurrenderhisarms，andthenbringhimhomeandputhiminthedeepestdungeonbelowthecastlemoat;thenweweretoloadhimwithchainsandsendtohisfriendsforransom。
Youmaythinkwehadnochains，butyouarewrong，becauseweusedtokeeptwootherdogsonce，besidesPincher，beforethefallofthefortunesoftheancientHouseofBastable。Andtheywerequitebigdogs。
Itwaslatishintheafternoonbeforewestarted。Wethoughtwecouldlurkbetterifitwasnearlydark。Itwasratherfoggy，andwewaitedagoodwhilebesidetherailings，butallthebelatedtravellerswereeithergrownuporelsetheywereBoardSchoolchildren。Weweren’tgoingtogetintoarowwithgrown—uppeople—especiallystrangers—andnotruebanditwouldeverstooptoaskaransomfromtherelationsofthepoorandneedy。Sowethoughtitbettertowait。
AsIsaid，itwasGuyFawkesDay，andifithadnotbeenweshouldneverhavebeenabletobebanditsatall，fortheunwarytravellerwedidcatchhadbeenforbiddentogooutbecausehehadacoldinhishead。Buthewouldrunouttofollowaguy，withoutevenputtingonacoatoracomforter，anditwasaverydamp，foggyafternoonandnearlydark，soyouseeitwashisownfaultentirely，andservedhimjollywellright。
WesawhimcomingovertheHeathjustasweweredecidingtogohometotea。Hehadfollowedthatguyrightacrosstothevillage（wecallBlackheaththevillage;Idon’tknowwhy），andhewascomingbackdragginghisfeetandsniffing。
’Hist，anunwarytravellerapproaches！’whisperedOswald。
’Muffleyourhorses’headsandseetotheprimingofyourpistols，’
mutteredAlice。Shealwayswillplayboys’parts，andshemakesElliscutherhairshortonpurpose。Ellisisaveryobliginghairdresser。
’Stealsoftlyuponhim，’saidNoel;’forlo！’tisdusk，andnohumaneyescanmarkourdeeds。’Soweranoutandsurroundedtheunwarytraveller。itturnedouttobeAlbert—next—door，andhewasveryfrightenedindeeduntilhesawwhowewere。
’Surrender！’hissedOswald，inadesperate—soundingvoice，ashecaughtthearmoftheUnwary。AndAlbert—next—doorsaid，’Allright！I’msurrenderingashardasIcan。Youneedn’tpullmyarmoff。’
Weexplainedtohimthatresistancewasuseless，andIthinkhesawthatfromthefirst。Weheldhimtightbybotharms，andwemarchedhimhomedownthehillinahollowsquareoffive。
Hewantedtotellusabouttheguy，butwemadehimseethatitwasnotproperforprisonerstotalktotheguard，especiallyaboutguysthattheprisonerhadbeentoldnottogoafterbecauseofhiscold。
Whenwegottowherewelivehesaid，’Allright，Idon’twanttotellyou。You’llwishIhadafterwards。Youneversawsuchaguy。’
’Icanseeyou！’saidH。O。Itwasveryrude，andOswaldtoldhimsoatonce，becauseitishisdutyasanelderbrother。ButH。O。
isveryyounganddoesnotknowbetteryet，andbesidesitwasn’tbadforH。O。
Albert—next—doorsaid，’Youhaven’tanymanners，andIwanttogointomytea。Letgoofme！’
ButAlicetoldhim，quitekindly，thathewasnotgoingintohistea，butcomingwithus。
’I’mnot，’saidAlbert—next—door;’I’mgoinghome。Leavego！I’vegotabadcold。You’remakingitworse。’Thenhetriedtocough，whichwasverysilly，becausewe’dseenhiminthemorning，andhe’dtolduswherethecoldwasthathewasn’ttogooutwith。
Whenhehadtriedtocough，hesaid，’Leavegoofme！Youseemycold’sgettingworse。’
’Youshouldhavethoughtofthatbefore，’saidDicky;’you’recominginwithus。’
’Don’tbeasilly，’saidNoel;’youknowwetoldyouattheverybeginningthatresistancewasuseless。Thereisnodisgraceinyielding。Wearefivetoyourone。’
BythistimeElizahadopenedthedoor，andwethoughtitbesttotakehiminwithoutanymoreparlaying。Toparleywithaprisonerisnotdonebybandits。
Directlywegothimsafeintothenursery，H。O。begantojumpaboutandsay，’Nowyou’reaprisonerreallyandtruly！’
AndAlbert—next—doorbegantocry。Healwaysdoes。Iwonderhedidn’tbeginlongbefore—butAlicefetchedhimoneofthedriedfruitswegaveFatherforhisbirthday。Itwasagreenwalnut。I
havenoticedthewalnutsandtheplumsalwaysgetlefttillthelastinthebox;theapricotsgofirst，andthenthefigsandpears;andthecherries，ifthereareany。
Soheateitandshutup。Thenweexplainedhispositiontohim，sothatthereshouldbenomistake，andhecouldn’tsayafterwardsthathehadnotunderstood。
’Therewillbenoviolence，’saidOswald—hewasnowCaptainoftheBandits，becauseweallknowH。O。likestobeChaplainwhenweplayprisoners—’noviolence。Butyouwillbeconfinedinadark，subterraneandungeonwheretoadsandsnakescrawl，andbutlittleofthelightofdayfiltersthroughtheheavilymullionedwindows。
Youwillbeloadedwithchains。Nowdon’tbeginagain，Baby，there’snothingtocryabout;strawwillbeyourpallet;besideyouthegaolerwillsetaewer—aewerisonlyajug，stupid;itwon’teatyou—aewerwithwater;andamoulderingcrustwillbeyourfood。’
ButAlbert—next—doorneverentersintothespiritofathing。Hemumbledsomethingabouttea—time。
NowOswald，thoughstern，isalwaysjust，andbesideswewereallratherhungry，andteawasready。Sowehaditatonce，Albert—next—doorandall—andwegavehimwhatwasleftofthefour—poundjarofapricotjamwegotwiththemoneyNoelgotforhispoetry。Andwesavedourcrustsfortheprisoner。
Albert—next—doorwasverytiresome。Nobodycouldhavehadanicerprisonthanhehad。Wefencedhimintoacornerwiththeoldwirenurseryfenderandallthechairs，insteadofputtinghiminthecoal—cellaraswehadfirstintended。Andwhenhesaidthedog—chainswerecoldthegirlswerekindenoughtowarmhisfettersthoroughlyatthefirebeforeweputthemonhim。
WegotthestrawcasesofsomebottlesofwinesomeonesentFatheroneChristmas—itissomeyearsago，butthecasesarequitegood。
Weunpickedthemverycarefullyandpulledthemtopiecesandscatteredthestrawabout。Itmadealovelystrawpallet，andtookeversolongtomake—butAlbert—next—doorhasyettolearnwhatgratitudereallyis。Wegotthebreadtrencherforthewoodenplatterwheretheprisoner’scrustswereput—theywerenotmouldy，butwecouldnotwaittilltheygotso，andfortheewerwegotthetoiletjugoutofthespare—roomwherenobodyeversleeps。
AndeventhenAlbert—next—doorcouldn’tbehappyliketherestofus。Hehowledandcriedandtriedtogetout，andheknockedtheeweroverandstampedonthemoulderingcrusts。Luckilytherewasnowaterintheewerbecausewehadforgottenit，onlydustandspiders。Sowetiedhimupwiththeclothes—linefromthebackkitchen，andwehadtohurryup，whichwasapityforhim。Wemighthavehadhimrescuedbyadevotedpageifhehadn’tbeensotiresome。InfactNoelwasactuallydressingupforthepagewhenAlbert—next—doorkickedovertheprisonewer。
Wegotasheetofpaperoutofanoldexercise—book，andwemadeH。
O。prickhisownthumb，becauseheisourlittlebrotheranditisourdutytoteachhimtobebrave。Wenoneofusmindprickingourselves;we’vedoneitheapsoftimes。H。O。didn’tlikeit，butheagreedtodoit，andIhelpedhimalittlebecausehewassoslow，andwhenhesawtheredbeadofbloodgettingfatterandbiggerasIsqueezedhisthumbhewasverypleased，justasIhadtoldhimhewouldbe。
ThisiswhatwewrotewithH。O。’sblood，onlythebloodgaveoutwhenwegotto’Restored’，andwehadtowritetherestwithcrimsonlake，whichisnotthesamecolour，thoughIalwaysuseit，myself，forpaintingwounds。
WhileOswaldwaswritingitheheardAlicewhisperingtotheprisonerthatitwouldsoonbeover，anditwasonlyplay。Theprisonerleftoffhowling，soIpretendednottohearwhatshesaid。ABanditCaptainhastooverlookthingssometimes。Thiswastheletter—
’AlbertMorrisonisheldaprisonerbyBandits。Onpaymentofthreethousandpoundshewillberestoredtohissorrowingrelatives，andallwillbeforgottenandforgiven。’
Iwasnotsureaboutthelastpart，butDickywascertainhehadseenitinthepaper，soIsupposeitmusthavebeenallright。
WeletH。O。taketheletter;itwasonlyfair，asitwashisblooditwaswrittenwith，andtoldhimtoleaveitnextdoorforMrsMorrison。
H。O。camebackquitequickly，andAlbert—next—door’sunclecamewithhim。
’Whatisallthis，Albert？’hecried。’Alas，alas，mynephew！DoIfindyoutheprisonerofadesperatebandofbrigands？’
’Bandits，’saidH。O;’youknowitsaysbandits。’
’Ibegyourpardon，gentlemen，’saidAlbert—next—door’suncle，’banditsitis，ofcourse。This，Albert，isthedirectresultofthepursuitoftheguyonanoccasionwhenyourdotingmotherhadexpresslywarnedyoutoforgothepleasuresofthechase。’
Albertsaiditwasn’thisfault，andhehadn’twantedtoplay。
’Soho！’saidhisuncle，’impenitenttoo！Where’sthedungeon？’
Weexplainedthedungeon，andshowedhimthestrawpalletandtheewerandthemoulderingcrustsandotherthings。
’Veryprettyandcomplete，’hesaid。’Albert，youaremorehighlyprivilegedthaneverIwas。NooneevermademeanicedungeonwhenIwasyourage。IthinkIhadbetterleaveyouwhereyouare。’
Albertbegantocryagainandsaidhewassorry，andhewouldbeagoodboy。
’Andonthisoldfamiliarbasisyouexpectmetoransomyou，doyou？Honestly，mynephew，Idoubtwhetheryouareworthit。
Besides，thesummentionedinthisdocumentstrikesmeasexcessive：Albertreallyisnotworththreethousandpounds。AlsobyastrangeandunfortunatechanceIhaven’tthemoneyaboutme。
Couldn’tyoutakeless？’
Wesaidperhapswecould。
’Sayeightpence，’suggestedAlbert—next—door’suncle，’whichisallthesmallchangeIhappentohaveonmyperson。’
’Thankyouverymuch，’saidAliceashehelditout;’butareyousureyoucanspareit？Becausereallyitwasonlyplay。’
’Quitesure。Now，Albert，thegameisover。Youhadbetterrunhometoyourmotherandtellherhowmuchyou’veenjoyedyourself。’
WhenAlbert—next—doorhadgonehisunclesatintheGuyFawkesarmchairandtookAliceonhisknee，andwesatroundthefirewaitingtillitwouldbetimetoletoffourfireworks。WeroastedthechestnutshesentDickyoutfor，andhetoldusstoriestillitwasnearlyseven。Hisstoriesarefirst—rate—hedoesallthepartsindifferentvoices。Atlasthesaid—
’Lookhere，young—uns。Iliketoseeyouplayandenjoyyourselves，andIdon’tthinkithurtsAlberttoenjoyhimselftoo。’
’Idon’tthinkhedidmuch，’saidH。O。ButIknewwhatAlbert—next—door’sunclemeantbecauseIammucholderthanH。O。
Hewenton—
’ButwhataboutAlbert’smother？Didn’tyouthinkhowanxiousshewouldbeathisnotcominghome？AsithappensIsawhimcomeinwithyou，soweknewitwasallright。ButifIhadn’t，eh？’
Heonlytalkslikethatwhenheisveryserious，orevenangry。
Othertimeshetalkslikepeopleinbooks—tous，Imean。
Wenoneofussaidanything。ButIwasthinking。ThenAlicespoke。
Girlsseemnottomindsayingthingsthatwedon’tsay。SheputherarmsroundAlbert—next—door’suncle’sneckandsaid—
’We’revery，verysorry。Wedidn’tthinkabouthismother。Youseewetryveryhardnottothinkaboutotherpeople’smothersbecause—’
JustthenweheardFather’skeyinthedoorandAlbert—next—door’sunclekissedAliceandputherdown，andweallwentdowntomeetFather。AswewentIthoughtIheardAlbert—next—door’sunclesaysomethingthatsoundedlike’Poorlittlebeggars！’
Hecouldn’thavemeantus，whenwe’dbeenhavingsuchajollytime，andchestnuts，andfireworkstolookforwardtoafterdinnerandeverything！
CHAPTER8
BEINGEDITORS
ItwasAlbert’sunclewhothoughtofourtryinganewspaper。Hesaidhethoughtweshouldnotfindthebanditbusinessapayingindustry，asapermanency，andthatjournalismmightbe。
WehadsoldNoel’spoetryandthatpieceofinformationaboutLordTottenhamtothegoodeditor，sowethoughtitwouldnotbeabadideatohaveanewspaperofourown。Wesawplainlythateditorsmustbeveryrichandpowerful，becauseofthegrandofficeandthemanintheglasscase，likeamuseum，andthesoftcarpetsandbigwriting—table。Besidesourhavingseenawholehandfulofmoneythattheeditorpulledoutquitecarelesslyfromhistrouserspocketwhenhegavememyfivebob。
DorawantedtobeeditorandsodidOswald，buthegavewaytoherbecausesheisagirl，andafterwardsheknewthatitistruewhatitsaysinthecopy—booksaboutVirtuebeingitsownReward。
Becauseyou’venoideawhatabotheritis。Everybodywantedtoputineverythingjustastheyliked，nomatterhowmuchroomtherewasonthepage。Itwassimplyawful！Doraputupwithitaslongasshecouldandthenshesaidifshewasn’tletaloneshewouldn’tgoonbeingeditor;theycouldbethepaper’seditorsthemselves，sothere。
ThenOswaldsaid，likeagoodbrother：’Iwillhelpyouifyoulike，Dora，’andshesaid，’You’remoretroublethanalltherestofthem！Comeandbeeditorandseehowyoulikeit。Igiveituptoyou。’Butshedidn’t，andwedidittogether。WeletAlbert—next—doorbesub—editor，becausehehadhurthisfootwithanailinhisbootthatgathered。
WhenitwasdoneAlbert—next—door’sunclehaditcopiedforusintypewriting，andwesentcopiestoallourfriends，andthenofcoursetherewasnooneleftthatwecouldasktobuyit。Wedidnotthinkofthatuntiltoolate。WecalledthepapertheLewishamRecorder;Lewishambecausewelivethere，andRecorderinmemoryofthegoodeditor。Icouldwriteabetterpaperonmyhead，butaneditorisnotallowedtowriteallthepaper。Itisveryhard，butheisnot。Youjusthavetofillupwithwhatyoucangetfromotherwriters。IfIeverhavetimeIwillwriteapaperallbymyself。Itwon’tbepatchy。Wehadnotimetomakeitanillustratedpaper，butIdrewtheshipgoingdownwithallhandsforthefirstcopy。Butthetypewritercan’tdrawships，soitwasleftoutintheothercopies。Thetimethefirstpapertooktowriteoutnoonewouldbelieve！ThiswastheNewspaper：
EDITORS：DORAANDOSWALDBASTABLE
EditorialNoteEverypaperiswrittenforsomereason。Oursisbecausewewanttosellitandgetmoney。Ifwhatwehavewrittenbringshappinesstoanysadheartweshallnothavelabouredinvain。Butwewantthemoneytoo。Manypapersarecontentwiththesadheartandthehappiness，butwearenotlikethat，anditisbestnottobedeceitful。EDITORS。
Therewillbetwoserialstories;OnebyDickyandonebyallofus。Inaserialstoryyouonlyputinonechapteratatime。Butweshallputallourserialstoryatonce，ifDorahastimetocopyit。Dicky’swillcomelateron。
SerialStoryBYUSALL
CHAPTERI—byDoraThesunwassettingbehindaromantic—lookingtowerwhentwostrangersmighthavebeenobserveddescendingthecrestofthehill。Theeldest，amanintheprimeoflife;theotherahandsomeyouthwhoremindedeverybodyofQuentinDurward。TheyapproachedtheCastle，inwhichthefairLadyAliciaawaitedherdeliverers。
Sheleanedfromthecastellatedwindowandwavedherlilyhandastheyapproached。Theyreturnedhersignal，andretiredtoseekrestandrefreshmentataneighbouringhostelry。
CHAPTERII—byAliceThePrincesswasveryuncomfortableinthetower，becauseherfairygodmotherhadtoldherallsortsofhorridthingswouldhappenifshedidn’tcatchamouseeveryday，andshehadcaughtsomanymicethatnowtherewerehardlyanylefttocatch。SoshesenthercarrierpigeontoaskthenobleStrangersiftheycouldsendherafewmice—becauseshewouldbeofageinafewdaysandthenitwouldn’tmatter。Sothefairygodmother——（I’mverysorry，butthere’snoroomtomakethechaptersanylonger。ED。）
CHAPTERIII—bytheSub—Editor（Ican’t—I’dmuchrathernot—Idon’tknowhow。）
CHAPTERIV—byDickyImustnowretracemystepsandtellyousomethingaboutourhero。
Youmustknowhehadbeentoanawfullyjollyschool，wheretheyhadturkeyandgooseeverydayfordinner，andneveranymutton，andasmanyhelpsofpuddingasafellowcaredtosenduphisplatefor—soofcoursetheyhadallgrownupverystrong，andbeforeheleftschoolhechallengedtheHeadtohaveitoutmantoman，andhegaveithim，Itellyou。ThatwastheeducationthatmadehimabletofightRedIndians，andtobethestrangerwhomighthavebeenobservedinthefirstchapter。
CHAPTERV—byNoelIthinkit’stimesomethinghappenedinthisstory。Sothenthedragonhecameout，blowingfireoutofhisnose，andhesaid—
’Comeon，youvaliantmanandtrue，I’dliketohaveaset—toalongofyou！’
（That’sbadEnglish。ED。Idon’tcare;it’swhatthedragonsaid。
Whotoldyoudragonsdidn’ttalkbadEnglish？NOEL。）
Sothehero，whosenamewasNoeloninuris，replied—
’Mybladeissharp，myaxeiskeen，You’renotnearlyasbigasagoodmanydragonsI’veseen。’
（Don’tputinsomuchpoetry，Noel。It’snotfair，becausenoneoftheotherscandoit。ED。）
Andthentheywentatit，andhebeatthedragon，justashedidtheHeadinDicky’spartoftheStory，andsohemarriedthePrincess，andtheylived——（Notheydidn’t—nottillthelastchapter。ED。）
CHAPTERVI—byH。O。
Ithinkit’saveryniceStory—butwhataboutthemice？Idon’twanttosayanymore。Doracanhavewhat’sleftofmychapter。
CHAPTERVII—bytheEditorsAndsowhenthedragonwasdeadtherewerelotsofmice，becauseheusedtokillthemforhisteabutnowtheyrapidlymultipliedandravagedthecountry，sothefairladyAlicia，sometimescalledthePrincess，hadtosayshewouldnotmarryanyoneunlesstheycouldridthecountryofthisplagueofmice。ThenthePrince，whoserealnamedidn’tbeginwithN，butwasOsrawalddo，wavedhismagicsword，andthedragonstoodbeforethem，bowinggracefully。Theymadehimpromisetobegood，andthentheyforgavehim;andwhentheweddingbreakfastcame，allthebonesweresavedforhim。Andsotheyweremarriedandlivedhappyeverafter。
（Whatbecameoftheotherstranger？NOEL。
Thedragonatehimbecauseheaskedtoomanyquestions。EDITORS。）
Thisistheendofthestory。
InstructiveitonlytakesfourhoursandaquarternowtogetfromLondontoManchester;butIshouldnotthinkanyonewouldiftheycouldhelpit。
Adreadfulwarning。Awickedboytoldmeaveryinstructivethingaboutginger。Theyhadopenedoneofthelargejars，andhehappenedtotakeoutquitealot，andhemadeitallrightbydroppingmarblesin，tilltherewasasmuchgingerasbefore。ButhetoldmethatontheSunday，whenitwascomingnearthepartwherethereisonlyjuicegenerally，Ihadnoideawhathisfeelingswere。Idon’tseewhathecouldhavesaidwhentheyaskedhim。Ishouldbesorrytoactlikeit。
ScientificExperimentsshouldalwaysbemadeoutofdoors。Anddon’tusebenzoline。
DICKY。
（Thatwaswhenheburnthiseyebrowsoff。ED。）
Theearthis2，400milesround，and800through—atleastIthinkso，butperhapsit’stheotherway。
DICKY。
（Yououghttohavebeensurebeforeyoubegan。ED。）
ScientificColumninthisso—calledNineteenthCenturyScienceisbuttoolittleconsideredinthenurseriesoftherichandproud。Butwearenotlikethat。
Itisnotgenerallyknownthatifyouputbitsofcamphorinluke—warmwateritwillmoveabout。Ifyoudropsweetoilin，thecamphorwilldartawayandthenstopmoving。Butdon’tdropanytillyouaretiredofit，becausethecamphorwon’tanymoreafterwards。Muchamusementandinstructionislostbynotknowingthingslikethis。
Ifyouputasixpenceunderashillinginawine—glass，andblowharddownthesideoftheglass，thesixpencewilljumpupandsitonthetopoftheshilling。AtleastIcan’tdoitmyself，butmycousincan。HeisintheNavy。
AnswerstoCorrespondentsNoel。Youareverypoetical，butIamsorrytosayitwillnotdo。
Alice。Nothingwillevermakeyourhaircurl，soit’snouse。
Somepeoplesayit’smoreimportanttotidyupasyougoalong。I
don’tmeanyouinparticular，buteveryone。
H。O。Weneversaidyouweretubby，buttheEditordoesnotknowanycure。
Noel。Ifthereisanyofthepaperoverwhenthisnewspaperisfinished，Iwillexchangeitforyourshut—upinkstand，ortheknifethathastheusefulthinginitfortakingstonesoutofhorses’feet，butyoucan’thaveitwithout。
H。O。Therearemanywayshowyoursteamenginemightstopworking。
YoumightaskDicky。Heknowsoneofthem。Ithinkitisthewayyoursstopped。
Noel。Ifyouthinkthatbyfillingthegardenwithsandyoucanmakecrabsbuildtheirneststhereyouarenotatallsensible。
YouhavealteredyourpoemaboutthebattleofWaterloosooften，thatwecannotreaditexceptwheretheDukewaveshisswordandsayssomethingwecan’treadeither。Whydidyouwriteitonblotting—paperwithpurplechalk？ED。
（BecauseYOUKNOWWHOsneakedmypencil。NOEL。）
PoetryTheAssyriancamedownlikeawolfonthefold，Andthewayhecamedownwasawful，I’mtold;
Butit’snothingtothewayoneoftheEditorscomesdownonme，IfIcrumblemybread—and—butterorspillmytea。
NOEL。
CuriousFactsIfyouholdaguinea—pigupbyhistailhiseyesdropout。