Andthenextmomentsherememberedhehadprobablygoneaboardlikeherselfinaboat。Inthatcaseshemightaswellseethehouseboat，andshepushedopenthedoorandsteppedin。Underthetable，wherehelaysmotheredwithdust，Gideon’sheartstoodstill。
ThereweretheremainsofJimson’slunch。’Helikesrathernicethingstoeat，’shethought。’O，Iamsureheisquiteadelightfulman。Iwonderifheisasgood—lookingasMrForsyth。
MrsJimson——Idon’tbelieveitsoundsasniceasMrsForsyth;butthen\"Gideon\"issoreallyodious！Andhereissomeofhismusictoo;thisisdelightful。OrangePekoe——O，that’swhathemeantbysomekindoftea。’Andshetrilledwithlaughter。’Adagiomoltoespressivo，semprelegato，’shereadnext。（Fortheliterarypartofacomposer’sbusinessGideonwaswellequipped。）’Howverystrangetohaveallthesedirections，andonlythreeorfournotes！O，here’sanotherwithsomemore。Andantepatetico。’Andshebegantoglanceoverthemusic。’Odearme，’shethought，’hemustbeterriblymodern！Itallseemsdiscordstome。Let’strytheair。Itisverystrange，itseemsfamiliar。’Shebegantosingit，andsuddenlybrokeoffwithlaughter。’Why，it’s\"TommymakeroomforyourUncle！\"’shecriedaloud，sothatthesoulofGideonwasfilledwithbitterness。’Andantepatetico，indeed！Themanmustbeamereimpostor。’
Andjustatthismomenttherecameaconfused，scufflingsoundfromunderneaththetable;astrangenote，likethatofabarn—doorfowl，usheredinamostexplosivesneeze;theheadofthesuffererwasatthesametimebroughtsmartlyincontactwiththeboardsabove;andthesneezewasfollowedbyahollowgroan。
Juliafledtothedoor，andthere，withthesalutaryinstinctofthebrave，turnedandfacedthedanger。Therewasnopursuit。Thesoundscontinued;belowthetableacrouchingfigurewasindistinctlytobeseenjostledbythethroesofasneezing—fit;
andthatwasall。
’Surely，’thoughtJulia，’thisismostunusualbehaviour。Hecannotbeamanoftheworld！’
Meanwhilethedustofyearshadbeendisturbedbytheyoungbarrister’sconvulsions;andthesneezing—fitwassucceededbyapassionateaccessofcoughing。
Juliabegantofeelacertaininterest。’Iamafraidyouarereallyquiteill，’shesaid，drawingalittlenearer。’Pleasedon’tletmeputyouout，anddonotstayunderthattable，MrJimson。Indeeditcannotbegoodforyou。’
MrJimsononlyansweredbyadistressingcough;andthenextmomentthegirlwasonherknees，andtheirfaceshadalmostknocked。togetherunderthetable。
’O，mygraciousgoodness！’exclaimedMissHazeltine，andsprangtoherfeet。’MrForsythgonemad！’
’Iamnotmad，’saidthegentlemanruefully，extricatinghimselffromhisposition。’Dearest。MissHazeltine，IvowtoyouuponmykneesIamnotmad！’
’Youarenot！’shecried，panting。
’Iknow，’hesaid，’thattoasuperficialeyemyconductmayappearunconventional。’
’Ifyouarenotmad，itwasnoconductatall，’criedthegirl，withaflashofcolour，’andshowedyoudidnotcareonepennyformyfeelings！’
’Thisistheverydevilandall。Iknow——Iadmitthat，’criedGideon，withagreateffortofmanlycandour。
’Itwasabominableconduct！’saidJulia，withenergy。
’Iknowitmusthaveshakenyouresteem，’saidthebarrister。
’But，dearestMissHazeltine，Ibegofyoutohearmeout;mybehaviour，strangeasitmayseem，isnotunsusceptibleofexplanation;andIpositivelycannotandwillnotconsenttocontinuetotrytoexistwithout——withouttheesteemofonewhomIadmire——themomentisillchosen，Iamwellawareofthat;butIrepeattheexpression——onewhomIadmire。’
AtouchofamusementappearedonMissHazeltine’sface。’Verywell，Isaidshe，’comeoutofthisdreadfullycoldplace，andletussitdownondeck。’Thebarristerdolefullyfollowedher。
’Now，’saidshe，makingherselfcomfortableagainsttheendofthehouse，’goon。Iwillhearyouout。’Andthen，seeinghimstandbeforeherwithsomuchobviousdisrelishtothetask，shewassuddenlyovercomewithlaughter。Julia’slaughwasathingtoravishlovers;sherolledhermirthfuldescantwiththefreedomandthemelodyofablackbird’ssongupontheriver，andrepeatedbytheechoesofthefartherbank。Itseemedathinginitsownplaceandasoundnativetotheopenair。Therewasonlyonecreaturewhohearditwithoutjoy，andthatwasherunfortunateadmirer。
’MissHazeltine，’hesaid，inavoicethattotteredwithannoyance，’Ispeakasyoursincerewell—wisher，butthiscanonlybecalledlevity。’
Juliamadegreateyesathim。
’Ican’twithdrawtheword，’hesaid：’alreadythefreedomwithwhichIheardyouhobnobbingwithaboatmangavemeexquisitepain。ThentherewasawantofreserveaboutJimson——’
’ButJimsonappearstobeyourself，’objectedJulia。
’Iamfarfromdenyingthat，’criedthebarrister，’butyoudidnotknowitatthetime。WhatcouldJimsonbetoyou？WhowasJimson？MissHazeltine，itcutmetotheheart。’
’Reallythisseemstometobeverysilly，’returnedJulia，withseveredecision。’Youhavebehavedinthemostextraordinarymanner;youpretendyouareabletoexplainyourconduct，andinsteadofdoingsoyoubegintoattackme。’
’Iamwellawareofthat，’repliedGideon。’I——Iwillmakeacleanbreastofit。Whenyouknowallthecircumstancesyouwillbeabletoexcuseme。
Andsittingdownbesideheronthedeck，hepouredforthhismiserablehistory。
’O，MrForsyth，’shecried，whenhehaddone，’Iam——so——sorry！
wishIhadn’tlaughedatyou——onlyyouknowyoureallyweresoexceedinglyfunny。ButIwishIhadn’t，andIwouldn’teitherifIhadonlyknown。’Andshegavehimherhand。
Gideonkeptitinhisown。’Youdonotthinktheworseofmeforthis？’heaskedtenderly。
’Becauseyouhavebeensosillyandgotintosuchdreadfultrouble？youpoorboy，no！’criedJulia;and，inthewarmthofthemoment，reachedhimherotherhand;’youmaycountonme，’
sheadded。
’Really？’saidGideon。
’Reallyandreally！’repliedthegirl。
’Idothen，andIwill，’criedtheyoungman。’Iadmitthemomentisnotwellchosen;butIhavenofriends——tospeakof。’
’NomorehaveI，’saidJulia。’Butdon’tyouthinkit’sperhapstimeyougavemebackmyhands？’
’Lacidaremlamano，’saidthebarrister，’themerestmomentmore！Ihavesofewfriends，’headded。
’Ithoughtitwasconsideredsuchabadaccountofayoungmantohavenofriends，’observedJulia。
’O，butIhavecrowdsofFRIENDS！’criedGideon。’That’snotwhatImean。Ifeelthemomentisillchosen;butO，Julia，ifyoucouldonlyseeyourself！’
’MrForsyth——’
’Don’tcallmebythatbeastlyname！’criedtheyouth。’CallmeGideon！’
’O，neverthat，’fromJulia。’Besides，wehaveknowneachothersuchashorttime。’
’Notatall！’protestedGideon。’WemetatBournemoutheversolongago。Ineverforgotyousince。Sayyouneverforgotme。Sayyouneverforgotme，andcallmeGideon！’
’Isn’tthisrather——awantofreserveaboutJimson？’enquiredthegirl。
’O，IknowIamanass，’criedthebarrister，’andIdon’tcareahalfpenny！IknowI’manass，andyoumaylaughatmetoyourheart’sdelight。’AndasJulia’slipsopenedwithasmile，heoncemoredroppedintomusic。’There’stheLandofCherryIsle！’
hesang，courtingherwithhiseyes。
’It’slikeanopera，’saidJulia，ratherfaintly。
’Whatshoulditbe？’saidGideon。’AmInotJimson？ItwouldbestrangeifIdidnotserenademylove。Oyes，Imeantheword，myJulia;andImeantowinyou。Iamindreadfultrouble，andI
havenotapennyofmyown，andIhavecutthesilliestfigure;
andyetImeantowinyou，Julia。Lookatme，ifyoucan，andtellmeno！’
Shelookedathim;andwhateverhereyesmayhavetoldhim，itistobesupposedhetookapleasureinthemessage，forhereaditalongwhile。
’AndUncleNedwillgiveussomemoneytogoonuponinthemeanwhile，’hesaidatlast。
’Well，Icallthatcool！’saidacheerfulvoiceathiselbow。
GideonandJuliasprangapartwithwonderfulalacrity;thelatterannoyedtoobservethatalthoughtheyhadnevermovedsincetheysatdown，theywerenowquiteclosetogether;bothpresentingfacesofaveryheightenedcolourtotheeyesofMrEdwardHughBloomfield。Thatgentleman，cominguptheriverinhisboat，hadcapturedthetruantcanoe，anddiviningwhathadhappened，hadthoughttostealamarchuponMissHazeltineathersketch。Hehadunexpectedlybroughtdowntwobirdswithonestone;andashelookeduponthepairofflushedandbreathlessculprits，thepleasanthumaninstinctofthematchmakersoftenedhisheart。
’Well，Icallthatcool，’herepeated;’youseemtocountverysecurelyuponUncleNed。Butlookhere，Gid，IthoughtIhadtoldyoutokeepaway？’
’TokeepawayfromMaidenhead，’repliedGid。’ButhowshouldI
expecttofindyouhere？’
’Thereissomethinginthat，’MrBloomfieldadmitted。’YouseeI
thoughtitbetterthatevenyoushouldbeignorantofmyaddress;
thoserascals，theFinsburys，wouldhavewormeditoutofyou。
AndjusttoputthemoffthescentIhoistedtheseabominablecolours。Butthatisnotall，Gid;youpromisedmetowork，andhereIfindyouplayingthefoolatPadwick。’
’Please，MrBloomfield，youmustnotbehardonMrForsyth，’saidJulia。’Poorboy，heisindreadfulstraits。’
’What’sthis，Gid？’enquiredtheuncle。’Haveyoubeenfighting？
orisitabill？’
These，intheopinionoftheSquirradical，werethetwomisfortunesincidenttogentlemen;andindeedbothwereculledfromhisowncareer。Hehadonceputhisname（asamatterofform）onafriend’spaper;ithadcosthimacoolthousand;andthefriendhadgoneaboutwiththefearofdeathuponhimeversince，andneverturnedacornerwithoutscoutinginfrontofhimforMrBloomfieldandtheoakenstaff。Asforfighting，theSquirradicalwasalwaysonthebrinkofit;andonce，when（inthecharacterofpresidentofaRadicalclub）hehadclearedoutthehallofhisopponents，thingshadgoneevenfurther。MrHoltum，theConservativecandidate，wholaysolongonthebedofsickness，waspreparedtosweartoMrBloomfield。’Iwillsweartoitinanycourt——itwasthehandofthatbrutethatstruckmedown，’hewasreportedtohavesaid;andwhenhewasthoughttobesinking，itwasknownthathehadmadeanante—mortemstatementinthatsense。ItwasacheerfuldayfortheSquirradicalwhenHoltumwasrestoredtohisbrewery。
’It’smuchworsethanthat，’saidGideon;’acombinationofcircumstancesreallyprovidentiallyunjust——a——infact，asyndicateofmurderersseemtohaveperceivedmylatentabilitytoridthemofthetracesoftheircrime。It’salegalstudyafterall，yousee！’Andwiththesewords，Gideon，forthesecondtimethatday，begantodescribetheadventuresoftheBroadwoodGrand。
’ImustwritetoTheTimes，’criedMrBloomfield。
’Doyouwanttogetmedisbarred？’askedGideon。
’Disbarred！Come，itcan’tbeasbadasthat，’saidhisuncle。
’It’sagood，honest，LiberalGovernmentthat’sin，andtheywouldcertainlymoveatmyrequest。ThankGod，thedaysofToryjobberyareatanend。’
’Itwouldn’tdo，UncleNed，’saidGideon。
’Butyou’renotmadenough，’criedMrBloomfield，’topersistintryingtodisposeofityourself？’
’Thereisnootherpathopentome，’saidGideon。
’It’snotcommonsense，andIwillnothearofit，’criedMrBloomfield。’Icommandyou，positively，Gid，todesistfromthiscriminalinterference。’
’Verywell，then，Ihanditovertoyou，’saidGideon，’andyoucandowhatyoulikewiththedeadbody。’
’Godforbid！’ejaculatedthepresidentoftheRadicalClub，’I’llhavenothingtodowithit。’
’ThenyoumustallowmetodothebestIcan，’returnedhisnephew。’Believeme，Ihaveadistincttalentforthissortofdifficulty。’
’Wemightforwardittothatpest—house，theConservativeClub，’
observedMrBloomfield。’Itmightdamagethemintheeyesoftheirconstituents;anditcouldbeprofitablyworkedupinthelocaljournal。’
’Ifyouseeanypoliticalcapitalinthething，’saidGideon，’youmayhaveitforme。’
’No，no，Gid——no，no，Ithoughtyoumight。Iwillhavenohandinthething。Onreflection，it’shighlyundesirablethateitherI
orMissHazeltineshouldlingerhere。Wemightbeobserved，’saidthepresident，lookingupanddowntheriver;’andinmypublicpositiontheconsequenceswouldbepainfulfortheparty。And，atanyrate，it’sdinner—time。’
’What？’criedGideon，plungingforhiswatch。’Andsoitis！
Greatheaven，thepianoshouldhavebeenherehoursago！’
MrBloomfieldwasclamberingbackintohisboat;butatthesewordshepaused。
’Isawitarrivemyselfatthestation;Ihiredacarrierman;hehadaroundtomake，buthewastobeherebyfouratthelatest，’criedthebarrister。’Nodoubtthepianoisopen，andthebodyfound。’
’Youmustflyatonce，’criedMrBloomfield，’it’stheonlymanlystep。’
’Butsupposeit’sallright？’wailedGideon。’Supposethepianocomes，andIamnotheretoreceiveit？Ishallhavehangedmyselfbymycowardice。No，UncleNed，enquiriesmustbemadeinPadwick;Idarenotgo，ofcourse;butyoumay——youcouldhangaboutthepoliceoffice，don’tyousee？’
’No，Gid——no，mydearnephew，’saidMrBloomfield，withthevoiceofoneontherack。’Iregardyouwiththemostsacredaffection;
andIthankGodIamanEnglishman——andallthat。Butnot——notthepolice，Gid。’
’Thenyoudesertme？’saidGideon。’Sayitplainly。’
’Farfromit！farfromit！’protestedMrBloomfield。’Ionlyproposecaution。Commonsense，Gid，shouldalwaysbeanEnglishman’sguide。’
’Willyouletmespeak？’saidJulia。’IthinkGideonhadbetterleavethisdreadfulhouseboat，andwaitamongthewillowsoverthere。Ifthepianocomes，thenhecouldstepoutandtakeitin;
andifthepolicecome，hecouldslipintoourhouseboat，andthereneedn’tbeanymoreJimsonatall。Hecouldgotobed，andwecouldburnhisclothes（couldn’twe？）inthesteam—launch;andthenreallyitseemsasifitwouldbeallright。MrBloomfieldissorespectable，youknow，andsuchaleadingcharacter，itwouldbequiteimpossibleeventofancythathecouldbemixedupwithit。’
’Thisyoungladyhasstrongcommonsense，’saidtheSquirradical。
’O，Idon’tthinkI’matallafool，’saidJulia，withconviction。
’Butwhatifneitherofthemcome？’askedGideon;’whatshallI
dothen？’
’Whythen，’saidshe，’youhadbettergodowntothevillageafterdark;andIcangowithyou，andthenIamsureyoucouldneverbesuspected;andevenifyouwere，Icouldtellthemitwasaltogetheramistake。’
’Iwillnotpermitthat——IwillnotsufferMissHazeltinetogo，’
criedMrBloomfield。
’Why？’askedJulia。
MrBloomfieldhadnottheleastdesiretotellherwhy，foritwassimplyacravenfearofbeingdrawnhimselfintotheimbroglio;butwiththeusualtacticsofamanwhoisashamedofhimself，hetookthehighhand。’Godforbid，mydearMissHazeltine，thatIshoulddictatetoaladyonthequestionofpropriety——’hebegan。
’O，isthatall？’interruptedJulia。’Thenwemustgoallthree。’
’Caught！’thoughttheSquirradical。
CHAPTERXII。PositivelytheLastAppearanceoftheBroadwoodGrandEnglandissupposedtobeunmusical;butwithoutdwellingonthepatronageextendedtotheorgan—grinder，withoutseekingtofoundanyargumentontheprevalenceofthejew’strump，thereissurelyoneinstrumentthatmaybesaidtobenationalinthefullestacceptanceoftheword。Theherdboyinthebroom，alreadymusicalinthedaysofFatherChaucer，startles（andperhapspains）thelarkwiththisexiguouspipe;andinthehandsoftheskilledbricklayer，’Thethingbecomesatrumpet，whenceheblows’
（asageneralrule）either’TheBritishGrenadiers’or’CherryRipe’。Thelatterairisindeedtheshibbolethanddiplomapieceofthepennywhistler;Ihazardaguessitwasoriginallycomposedforthisinstrument。Itissingularenoughthatamanshouldbeabletogainalivelihood，oreventotideoveraperiodofunemployment，bythedisplayofhisproficiencyuponthepennywhistle;stillmoreso，thattheprofessionalshouldalmostinvariablyconfinehimselfto’CherryRipe’。Butindeed，singularitiessurroundthesubject，thicklikeblackberries。Why，forinstance，shouldthepipebecalledapennywhistle？Ithinknooneeverboughtitforapenny。Whyshouldthealternativenamebetinwhistle？Iamgrosslydeceivedifitbemadeoftin。
Lastly，inwhatdeafcatacomb，inwhatearlessdesert，doesthebeginnerpasstheexcruciatingintervalofhisapprenticeship？Wehaveallheardpeoplelearningthepiano，thefiddle，andthecornet;buttheyoungofthepennywhistler（likethatofthesalmon）isoccultfromobservation;heisneverhearduntilproficient;andprovidence（perhapsalarmedbytheworksofMrMallock）defendshumanhearingfromhisfirstattemptsupontheupperoctave。
Areallynoteworthythingwastakingplaceinagreenlane，notfarfromPadwick。Onthebenchofacarrier’scarttheresatatow—headed，lanky，modest—lookingyouth;thereinswereonhislap;thewhiplaybehindhimintheinteriorofthecart;thehorseproceededwithoutguidanceorencouragement;thecarrier（orthecarrier’sman），raptintoahigherspherethanthatofhisdailyoccupations，hislooksdwellingontheskies，devotedhimselfwhollytoabrand—newDpennywhistle，whencehediffidentlyendeavouredtoelicitthatpleasingmelody’ThePloughboy’。Toanyobservantpersonwhoshouldhavechancedtosaunterinthatlane，thehourwouldhavebeenthrilling。’Hereatlast，’hewouldhavesaid，’isthebeginner。’
Thetow—headedyouth（whosenamewasHarker）hadjustencoredhimselfforthenineteenthtime，whenhewasstruckintotheextremeofconfusionbythediscoverythathewasnotalone。
’Thereyouhaveit！’criedamanlyvoicefromthesideoftheroad。
’That’sasgoodasIwanttohear。Perhapsaleetleoilierintherun，’thevoicesuggested，withmeditativegusto。’Giveitusagain。’
Harkerglanced，fromthedepthsofhishumiliation，atthespeaker。Hebeheldapowerful，sun—brown，clean—shavenfellow，aboutfortyyearsofage，stridingbesidethecartwithanon—commissionedmilitarybearing，and（ashestrode）spinningintheairacane。Thefellow’sclotheswereverybad，buthelookedcleanandself—reliant。
’I’monlyabeginner，’gaspedtheblushingHarker，’Ididn’tthinkanybodycouldhearme。’
’Well，Ilikethat！’returnedtheother。’You’reaprettyoldbeginner。Come，I’llgiveyoualeadmyself。Giveusaseatherebesideyou。’
Thenextmomentthemilitarygentlemanwasperchedonthecart，pipeinhand。Hegavetheinstrumentaknowingrattleontheshaft，mouthedit，appearedtocommuneforamomentwiththemuse，anddashedinto’ThegirlIleftbehindme’。Hewasagreat，ratherthanafine，performer;helackedthebird—likerichness;hecouldscarcehaveextractedallthehoneyoutof’CherryRipe’;hedidnotfear——heevenostentatiouslydisplayedandseemedtorevelinheshrillnessoftheinstrument;butinfire，speed，precision，evenness，andfluency;inlinkedagilityofjimmy——atechnicalexpression，byyourleave，answeringtowarblersonthebagpipe;andperhaps，aboveall，inthatinspiringside—glanceoftheeye，withwhichhefollowedtheeffectand（asbyahumanappeal）ekedouttheinsufficiencyofhisperformance：inthese，thefellowstoodwithoutarival。
Harkerlistened：’ThegirlIleftbehindme’filledhimwithdespair;’TheSoldier’sJoy’carriedhimbeyondjealousyintogenerousenthusiasm。
’Turnabout，’saidthemilitarygentleman，offeringthepipe。
’O，notafteryou！’criedHarker;’you’reaprofessional。’
’No，’saidhiscompanion;’anamatyurelikeyourself。That’sonestyleofplay，yoursistheother，andIlikeitbest。ButI
beganwhenIwasaboy，yousee，beforemytastewasformed。Whenyou’remyageyou’llplaythatthinglikeacornet—a—piston。Giveusthatairagain;howdoesitgo？’andheaffectedtoendeavourtorecall’ThePloughboy’。
Atimid，insanehopespranginthebreastofHarker。Wasitpossible？Wastheresomethinginhisplaying？Ithad，indeed，seemedtohimattimesasifhegotakindofarichnessoutofit。Washeagenius？Meantimethemilitarygentlemanstumbledovertheair。
’No，’saidtheunhappyHarker，’that’snotquiteit。Itgoesthisway——justtoshowyou。’
And，takingthepipebetweenhislips，hesealedhisdoom。Whenhehadplayedtheair，andthenasecondtime，andathird;whenthemilitarygentlemanhadtrieditoncemore，andoncemorefailed;whenitbecamecleartoHarkerthathe，theblushingdebutant，wasactuallygivingalessontothisfull—grownflutist——andtheflutistunderhiscarewasnotverybrilliantlyprogressing——howamItotellwhatfloodsofglorybrightenedtheautumnalcountryside;how，unlessthereaderwereanamateurhimself，describetheheightsofidioticvanitytowhichthecarrierclimbed？Onesignificantfactshallpaintthesituation：
thenceforthitwasHarkerwhoplayed，andthemilitarygentlemanlistenedandapproved。
Ashelistened，however，hedidnotforgetthehabitofsoldierlyprecaution，lookingbothbehindandbefore。Helookedbehindandcomputedthevalueofthecarrier’sload，diviningthecontentsofthebrown—paperparcelsandtheportlyhamper，andbrieflysettingdownthegrandpianointhebrand—newpiano—caseas’difficulttogetridof’。Helookedbefore，andspiedatthecornerofthegreenlanealittlecountrypublic—houseemboweredinroses。’I’llhaveashyatit，’concludedthemilitarygentleman，androundlyproposedaglass。’Well，I’mnotadrinkingman，’saidHarker。
’Lookhere，now，’cutintheother，’I’lltellyouwhoIam：I’mColour—SergeantBrandoftheBlankth。That’lltellyouifI’madrinkingmanornot。’Itmightanditmightnot，thusaGreekchoruswouldhaveintervened，andgoneontopointouthowveryfaritfellshortoftellingwhythesergeantwastrampingacountrylaneintatters;oreventoarguethathemusthavepretermittedsomewhileagohislaboursforthegeneraldefence，and（intheinterval）possiblyturnedhisattentiontooakum。ButtherewasnoGreekchoruspresent;andthemanofwarwentontocontendthatdrinkingwasonethingandafriendlyglassanother。
IntheBlueLion，whichwasthenameofthecountrypublic—house，Colour—SergeantBrandintroducedhisnewfriend，MrHarker，toanumberofingeniousmixtures，calculatedtopreventtheapproachesofintoxication。Theseheexplainedtobe’rekisite’
intheservice，sothataself—respectingofficershouldalwaysappearuponparadeinaconditionhonourabletohiscorps。ThemostefficaciousofthesedeviceswastolaceapintofmildatewithtwopenceworthofLondongin。Iampleasedtohandinthisrecipetothediscerningreader，whomayfinditusefulevenincivilstation;foritseffectuponMrHarkerwasrevolutionary。
Hemustbehelpedonboardhisownwaggon，whereheproceededtodisplayaspiritentirelygivenovertomirthandmusic，alternatelyhootingwithlaughter，towhichthesergeanthastenedtobearchorus，andincoherentlytootlingonthepipe。Themanofwar，meantime，unostentatiouslypossessedhimselfofthereins。
ItwasplainhehadatasteforthesecludedbeautiesofanEnglishlandscape;forthecart，althoughitwanderedunderhisguidanceforsometime，wasneverobservedtoissueonthedustyhighway，journeyingbetweenhedgeandditch，andforthemostpartunderoverhangingboughs。Itwasplain，besides，hehadaneyetothetrueinterestsofMrHarker;forthoughthecartdrewupmorethanonceatthedoorsofpublic—houses，itwasonlythesergeantwhosetfoottoground，and，beingequippedhimselfwithaquartbottle，oncemoreproceededonhisruraldrive。
Togiveanyideaofthecomplexityofthesergeant’scourse，amapofthatpartofMiddlesexwouldberequired，andmypublisherisaversefromtheexpense。Sufficeit，thatalittleafterthenighthadclosed，thecartwasbroughttoastandstillinawoodyroad;wherethesergeantliftedfromamongtheparcels，andtenderlydepositeduponthewayside，theinanimateformofHarker。
’Ifyoucome—tobeforedaylight，’thoughtthesergeant，’Ishallbesurprisedforone。’
Fromthevariouspocketsoftheslumberingcarrierhegentlycollectedthesumofseventeenshillingsandeightpencesterling;
and，gettingoncemoreintothecart，drovethoughtfullyaway。
’IfIwasexactlysureofwhereIwas，itwouldbeagoodjob，’
hereflected。’Anyway，here’sacorner。’
Heturnedit，andfoundhimselfupontheriverside。Alittleabovehimthelightsofahouseboatshonecheerfully;andalreadycloseathand，soclosethatitwasimpossibletoavoidtheirnotice，threepersons，aladyandtwogentlemen，weredeliberatelydrawingnear。Thesergeantputhistrustintheconvenientdarknessofthenight，anddroveontomeetthem。Oneofthegentlemen，whowasofaportlyfigure，walkedinthemidstofthefairway，andpresentlyheldupastaffbywayofsignal。
’Myman，haveyouseenanythingofacarrier’scart？’hecried。
Darkasitwas，itseemedtothesergeantasthoughtheslimmerofthetwogentlemenhadmadeamotiontopreventtheotherspeaking，and（findinghimselftoolate）hadskippedasidewithsomealacrity。Atanotherseason，SergeantBrandwouldhavepaidmoreattentiontothefact;buthewasthenimmersedintheperilsofhisownpredicament。
’Acarrier’scart？’saidhe，withaperceptibleuncertaintyofvoice。’No，sir。’
’Ah！’saidtheportlygentleman，andstoodasidetoletthesergeantpass。Theladyappearedtobendforwardandstudythecartwitheverymarkofsharpenedcuriosity，theslimmergentlemanstillkeepingintherear。
’Iwonderwhatthedeviltheywouldbeat，’thoughtSergeantBrand;and，lookingfearfullyback，hesawthetriostandingtogetherinthemidstoftheway，likefolkconsulting。Thebravestofmilitaryheroesarenotalwaysequaltothemselvesastotheirreputation;andfear，onsomesingularprovocation，willfindalodgmentinthemostunfamiliarbosom。Theword’detective’mighthavebeenheardtogurgleinthesergeant’sthroat;andvigorouslyapplyingthewhip，hefleduptheriversideroadtoGreatHaverham，atthegallopofthecarrier’shorse。Thelightsofthehouseboatflashedupontheflyingwaggonasitpassed;thebeatofhoofsandtherattleofthevehiclegraduallycoalescedanddiedaway;andpresently，tothetrioontheriverside，silencehadredescended。
’It’sthemostextraordinarything，’criedtheslimmerofthetwogentlemen，’butthat’sthecart。’
’AndIknowIsawapiano，’saidthegirl。
’O，it’sthecart，certainly;andtheextraordinarythingis，it’snottheman，’addedthefirst。
’Itmustbetheman，Gid，itmustbe，’saidtheportlyone。
’Well，then，whyisherunningaway？’askedGideon。
’Hishorsebolted，Isuppose，’saidtheSquirradical。
’Nonsense！Iheardthewhipgoinglikeaflail，’saidGideon。’Itsimplydefiesthehumanreason。’
’I’lltellyou，’brokeinthegirl，’hecameroundthatcorner。
Supposewewentand——whatdoyoucallitinbooks？——followedhistrail？Theremaybeahousethere，orsomebodywhosawhim，orsomething。’
’Well，supposewedid，forthefunofthething，’saidGideon。
Thefunofthething（itwouldappear）consistedintheextremelyclosejuxtapositionofhimselfandMissHazeltine。ToUncleNed，whowasexcludedfromthesesimplepleasures，theexcursionappearedhopelessfromthefirst;andwhenafreshperspectiveofdarknessopenedup，dimlycontainedbetweenparkpalingsontheonesideandahedgeandditchupontheother，thewholewithoutthesmallestsignalofhumanhabitation，theSquirradicaldrewup。
’Thisisawild—goosechase，’saidhe。
Withthecessationofthefootfalls，anothersoundsmoteupontheirears。
’O，what’sthat？’criedJulia。
’Ican’tthink，’saidGideon。
TheSquirradicalhadhisstickpresentedlikeasword。’Gid，’hebegan，’Gid，I——’
’OMrForsyth！’criedthegirl。’Odon’tgoforward，youdon’tknowwhatitmightbe——itmightbesomethingperfectlyhorrid。’
’Itmaybethedevilitself，’saidGideon，disengaginghimself，’butIamgoingtoseeit。’
’Don’tberash，Gid，’criedhisuncle。
Thebarristerdrewneartothesound，whichwascertainlyofaportentouscharacter。Inqualityitappearedtoblendthestrainsofthecow，thefog—horn，andthemosquito;andthestartlingmannerofitsenunciationaddedincalculablytoitsterrors。A
darkobject，notunlikethehumanformdivine，appearedonthebrinkoftheditch。
’It’saman，’saidGideon，’it’sonlyaman;heseemstobeasleepandsnoring。Hullo，’headded，amomentafter，’theremustbesomethingwrongwithhim，hewon’twaken。’
Gideonproducedhisvestas，struckone，andbyitslightrecognizedthetowheadofHarker。
’Thisistheman，’saidhe，’asdrunkasBelial。Iseethewholestory’;andtohistwocompanions，whohadnowventuredtorejoinhim，hesetforthatheoryofthedivorcebetweenthecarrierandhiscart，whichwasnotunlikethetruth。
’Drunkenbrute！’saidUncleNed，’let’sgethimtoapumpandgivehimwhathedeserves。’
’Notatall！’saidGideon。’Itishighlyundesirableheshouldseeustogether;andreally，doyouknow，Iamverymuchobligedtohim，forthisisabouttheluckiestthingthatcouldhavepossiblyoccurred。Itseemstome——UncleNed，Ideclaretoheavenitseemstome——I’mclearofit！’
’Clearofwhat？’askedtheSquirradical。
’Thewholeaffair！’criedGideon。’Thatmanhasbeenassenoughtostealthecartandthedeadbody;whathehopestodowithitIneitherknownorcare。Myhandsarefree，Jimsonceases;downwithJimson。Shakehandswithme，UncleNed——Julia，darlinggirl，Julia，I——’
’Gideon，Gideon！’saidhisuncle。’O，it’sallright，uncle，whenwe’regoingtobemarriedsosoon，’saidGideon。’Youknowyousaidsoyourselfinthehouseboat。’
’DidI？’saidUncleNed;’IamcertainIsaidnosuchthing。’
’Appealtohim，tellhimhedid，getonhissoftside，’criedGideon。’He’sarealbrickifyougetonhissoftside。’
’DearMrBloomfield，’saidJulia，’IknowGideonwillbesuchaverygoodboy，andhehaspromisedmetodosuchalotoflaw，andIwillseethathedoestoo。Andyouknowitissoverysteadyingtoyoungmen，everybodyadmitsthat;though，ofcourse，IknowIhavenomoney，MrBloomfield，’sheadded。
’Mydearyounglady，asthisrapscalliontoldyoutodayontheboat，UncleNedhasplenty，’saidtheSquirradical，’andIcanneverforgetthatyouhavebeenshamefullydefrauded。Soasthere’snobodylooking，youhadbettergiveyourUncleNedakiss。There，yourogue，’resumedMrBloomfield，whentheceremonyhadbeendaintilyperformed，’thisveryprettyyoungladyisyours，andavastdealmorethanyoudeserve。Butnow，letusgetbacktothehouseboat，getupsteamonthelaunch，andawaybacktotown。’
’That’sthething！’criedGideon;’andtomorrowtherewillbenohouseboat，andnoJimson，andnocarrier’scart，andnopiano;
andwhenHarkerawakesontheditchside，hemaytellhimselfthewholeaffairhasbeenadream。’
’Aha！’saidUncleNed，’butthere’sanothermanwhowillhaveadifferentawakening。Thatfellowinthecartwillfindhehasbeentoocleverbyhalf。’
’UncleNedandJulia，’saidGideon，’IamashappyastheKingofTartary，myheartislikeathreepenny—bit，myheelsarelikefeathers;Iamoutofallmytroubles，Julia’shandisinmine。
Isthisatimeforanythingbuthandsomesentiments？Why，there’snotroominmeforanythingthat’snotangelic！AndwhenIthinkofthatpoorunhappydevilinthecart，IstandhereinthenightandcrywithasingleheartGodhelphim！’
’Amen，’saidUncleNed。
CHAPTERXIII。TheTribulationsofMorris：ParttheSecondInareallypoliteageofliteratureIwouldhavescornedtocastmyeyeagainonthecontortionsofMorris。Butthestudyisinthespiritoftheday;itpresents，besides，featuresofahigh，almostarepulsive，morality;andifitshouldprovethemeansofpreventinganyrespectableandinexperiencedgentlemanfromplunginglight—heartedlyintocrime，evenpoliticalcrime，thisworkwillnothavebeenpennedinvain。
HeroseonthemorrowofhisnightwithMichael，rosefromtheleadenslumberofdistress，tofindhishandtremulous，hiseyesclosedwithrheum，histhroatparched，andhisdigestionobviouslyparalysed。’Lordknowsit’snotfromeating！’Morristhought;andashedressedhereconsideredhispositionunderseveralheads。Nothingwillsowelldepictthetroubledseasinwhichhewasnowvoyagingasareviewofthesevariousanxieties。
Ihavethrownthem（forthereader’sconvenience）intoacertainorder;butinthemindofonepoorhumanequaltheywhirledtogetherlikethedustofhurricanes。Withthesameobligingpreoccupation，Ihaveputanametoeachofhisdistresses;anditwillbeobservedwithpitythateveryindividualitemwouldhavegracedandcommendedthecoverofarailwaynovel。
AnxietytheFirst：WhereistheBody？or，TheMysteryofBentPitman。ItwasnowmanifestlyplainthatBentPitman（aswastobelookedforfromhisominousappellation）belongedtothedarkerorderofthecriminalclass。Anhonestmanwouldnothavecashedthebill;ahumanemanwouldnothaveacceptedinsilencethetragiccontentsofthewater—butt;aman，whowasnotalreadyuptothehiltsingore，wouldhavelackedthemeansofsecretlydisposingthem。Thisprocessofreasoningleftahorridimageofthemonster，Pitman。Doubtlesshehadlongagodisposedofthebody——droppingitthroughatrapdoorinhisbackkitchen，Morrissupposed，withsomehazyrecollectionofapictureinapennydreadful;anddoubtlessthemannowlivedinwantonsplendourontheproceedsofthebill。Sofar，allwaspeace。ButwiththeprofligatehabitsofamanlikeBentPitman（whowasnodoubtahunchbackinthebargain），eighthundredpoundscouldbeeasilymeltedinaweek。Whentheyweregone，whatwouldhebelikelytodonext？Ahell—likevoiceinMorris’sownbosomgavetheanswer：
’Blackmailme。’
AnxietytheSecond：TheFraudoftheTontine;or，IsmyUncledead？This，onwhichallMorris’shopesdepended，wasyetaquestion。HehadtriedtobullyTeena;hehadtriedtobribeher;
andnothingcameofit。Hehadhismoralconvictionstill;butyoucannotblackmailasharplawyeronamoralconviction。Andbesides，sincehisinterviewwithMichael，theideaworealessattractivecountenance。WasMichaelthemantobeblackmailed？
andwasMorristhemantodoit？Graveconsiderations。’It’snotthatI’mafraidofhim，’Morrissofarcondescendedtoreassurehimself;’butImustbeverycertainofmyground，andthedeuceofitis，Iseenoway。Howunlikeislifetonovels！Iwouldn’thaveevenbegunthisbusinessinanovel，butwhatI’dhavemetadark，slouchingfellowintheOxfordRoad，who’dhavebecomemyaccomplice，andknownallabouthowtodoit，andprobablybrokenintoMichael’shouseatnightandfoundnothingbutawaxworkimage;andthenblackmailedormurderedme。Buthere，inreallife，ImightwalkthestreetstillIdroppeddead，andnoneofthecriminalclasseswouldlooknearme。Though，tobesure，thereisalwaysPitman，’headdedthoughtfully。
AnxietytheThird：TheCottageatBrowndean;or，TheUnderpaidAccomplice。Forhehadanaccomplice，andthataccomplicewasbloomingunseeninadampcottageinHampshirewithemptypockets。Whatcouldbedoneaboutthat？Hereallyoughttohavesenthimsomething;ifitwasonlyapost—officeorderforfivebob，enoughtoprovethathewaskeptinmind，enoughtokeephiminhope，beer，andtobacco。’Butwhatwouldyouhave？’thoughtMorris;andruefullypouredintohishandahalf—crown，aflorin，andeightpenceinsmallchange。ForamaninMorris’sposition，atwarwithallsociety，andconducting，withthehandofinexperience，awidelyramifiedintrigue，thesumwasalreadyaderision。Johnwouldhavetobedoing;nomistakeofthat。’Butthen，’askedthehell—likevoice，’howlongisJohnlikelytostandit？’
AnxietytheFourth：TheLeatherBusiness;or，TheShuttersatLast：aTaleoftheCity。OnthisheadMorrishadnonews。Hehadnotyetdaredtovisitthefamilyconcern;yetheknewhemustdelaynolonger，andifanythinghadbeenwantedtosharpenthisconviction，Michael’sreferencesofthenightbeforerangambiguouslyinhisear。Wellandgood。Tovisitthecitymightbeindispensable;butwhatwashetodowhenhewasthere？Hehadnorighttosigninhisownname;and，withallthewillintheworld，heseemedtolacktheartofsigningwithhisuncle’s。
Underthesecircumstances，Morriscoulddonothingtoprocrastinatethecrash;and，whenitcame，whenpryingeyesbegantobeappliedtoeveryjointofhisbehaviour，twoquestionscouldnotfailtobeaddressed，soonerorlater，toaspeechlessandperspiringinsolvent。WhereisMrJosephFinsbury？
andhowaboutyourvisittothebank？Questions，howeasytoput！——yegods，howimpossibletoanswer！Themantowhomtheyshouldbeaddressedwentcertainlytogaol，and——eh！whatwasthis？——possiblytothegallows。Morriswastryingtoshavewhenthisideastruckhim，andhelaidtherazordown。Here（inMichael’swords）wasthetotaldisappearanceofavaluableuncle;
herewasatimeofinexplicableconductonthepartofanephewwhohadbeeninbadbloodwiththeoldmananytimethesesevenyears;whatachanceforajudicialblunder！’Butno，’thoughtMorris，’theycannot，theydarenot，makeitmurder。Notthat。
Buthonestly，andspeakingasamantoaman，Idon’tseeanyothercrimeinthecalendar（exceptarson）thatIdon’tseemsomehowtohavecommitted。AndyetI’maperfectlyrespectableman，andwishednothingbutmydue。Lawisaprettybusiness。’
Withthisconclusionfirmlyseatedinhismind，MorrisFinsburydescendedtothehallofthehouseinJohnStreet，stillhalf—shaven。Therewasaletterinthebox;heknewthehandwriting：Johnatlast！
’Well，IthinkImighthavebeensparedthis，’hesaidbitterly，andtoreitopen。
DearMorris[itran]，whatthedickensdoyoumeanbyit？I’minanawfulholedownhere;Ihavetogoontick，andthepartiesonthespotdon’tcottontotheidea;theycouldn’t，becauseitissoplainI’minastaitofDestitution。I’vegotnobedclothes，thinkofthat，Imusthavecoins，theholething’saMockry，I
wontstandit，nobodywould。Iwouldhavecomeawaybefore，onlyIhavenomoneyfortherailwayfare。Don’tbealunatic，Morris，youdon’tseemtounderstandmydredfulsituation。Ihavetogetthestampontick。Afact。——Everyouraffte。Brother，J。FINSBURY
’Can’tevenspell！’Morrisreflected，ashecrammedtheletterinhispocket，andleftthehouse。’WhatcanIdoforhim？Ihavetogototheexpenseofabarber，I’msoshattered！HowcanIsendanybodycoins？It’shardlines，Idaresay;butdoeshethinkI’mlivingonhotmuffins？Onecomfort，’washisgrimreflection，’hecan’tcutandrun——he’sgottostay;he’sashelplessasthedead。’Andthenhebrokeforthagain：’Complains，doeshe？andhe’sneverevenheardofBentPitman！IfhehadwhatIhaveonmymind，hemightcomplainwithagoodgrace。’
Butthesewerenothonestarguments，ornotwhollyhonest;therewasastruggleinthemindofMorris;hecouldnotdisguisefromhimselfthathisbrotherJohnwasmiserablysituatedatBrowndean，withoutnews，withoutmoney，withoutbedclothes，withoutsocietyoranyentertainment;andbythetimehehadbeenshavedandpickedahastybreakfastatacoffeetavern，Morrishadarrivedatacompromise。
’PoorJohnny，’hesaidtohimself，’he’sinanawfulbox！Ican’tsendhimcoins，butI’lltellyouwhatI’lldo：I’llsendhimthePinkUn——it’llcheerJohnup;andbesides，it’lldohiscreditgoodgettinganythingbypost。’
Accordingly，onhiswaytotheleatherbusiness，whitherheproceeded（accordingtohisthriftyhabit）onfoot，Morrispurchasedanddispatchedasinglecopyofthatenliveningperiodical，towhich（inasuddenpangofremorse）headdedatrandomtheAthenaeum，theRevivalist，andthePennyPictorialWeekly。SotherewasJohnsetupwithliterature，andMorrishadlaidbalmuponhisconscience。
Asiftorewardhim，hewasreceivedinhisplaceofbusinesswithgoodnews。Orderswerepouringin;therewasarunonsomeofthebackstock，andthefigurehadgoneup。Eventhemanagerappearedelated。AsforMorris，whohadalmostforgottenthemeaningofgoodnews，helongedtosoblikealittlechild;hecouldhavecaughtthemanager（apallidmanwithstartledeyebrows）tohisbosom;hecouldhavefounditinhisgenerositytogiveacheque（forasmallsum）toeveryclerkinthecounting—house。Ashesatandopenedhislettersachorusofairyvocalistssanginhisbrain，tomostexquisitemusic，’Thiswholeconcernmaybeprofitableyet，profitableyet，profitableyet。’
Tohim，inthissunnymomentofrelief，enteraMrRodgerson，acreditor，butnotonewhowasexpectedtobepressing，forhisconnectionwiththefirmwasoldandregular。
’O，Finsbury，’saidhe，notwithoutembarrassment，’it’sofcourseonlyfairtoletyouknow——thefactis，moneyisatrifletight——Ihavesomepaperout——forthatmatter，everyone’scomplaining——andinshort——’
’Ithasneverbeenourhabit，Rodgerson，’saidMorris，turningpale。’Butgivemetimetoturnround，andI’llseewhatIcando;Idaresaywecanletyouhavesomethingtoaccount。’
’Well，that’sjustwhereis，’repliedRodgerson。’Iwastempted;
I’veletthecreditoutofMYhands。’
’Outofyourhands？’repeatedMorris。’That’splayingratherfastandloosewithus，MrRodgerson。’
’Well，Igotcent。forcent。forit，’saidtheother，’onthenail，inacertifiedcheque。’
’Cent。forcent。！’criedMorris。’Why，that’ssomethinglikethirtypercent。bonus;asingularthing！Who’stheparty？’
’Don’tknowtheman，’wasthereply。’NameofMoss。’
’AJew，’Morrisreflected，whenhisvisitorwasgone。AndwhatcouldaJewwantwithaclaimof——heverifiedtheamountinthebooks——aclaimofthreefiveeight，nineteen，ten，againstthehouseofFinsbury？Andwhyshouldhepaycent。forcent。？ThefigureprovedtheloyaltyofRodgerson——evenMorrisadmittedthat。Butitprovedunfortunatelysomethingelse——theeagernessofMoss。Theclaimmusthavebeenwantedinstantly，forthatday，forthatmorningeven。Why？ThemysteryofMosspromisedtobeafitpendanttothemysteryofPitman。’Andjustwhenallwaslookingwelltoo！’criedMorris，smitinghishanduponthedesk。
AndalmostatthesamemomentMrMosswasannounced。
MrMosswasaradiantHebrew，brutallyhandsome，andoffensivelypolite。Hewasacting，itappeared，forathirdparty;heunderstoodnothingofthecircumstances;hisclientdesiredtohavehispositionregularized;buthewouldacceptanantedatedcheque——antedatedbytwomonths，ifMrFinsburychose。
’ButIdon’tunderstandthis，’saidMorris。’Whatmadeyoupaycent。percent。forittoday？’
MrMosshadnoidea;onlyhisorders。
’Thewholethingisthoroughlyirregular，’saidMorris。’Itisnotthecustomofthetradetosettleatthistimeoftheyear。
WhatareyourinstructionsifIrefuse？’
’IamtoseeMrJosephFinsbury，theheadofthefirm，’saidMrMoss。’Iwasdirectedtoinsistonthat;itwasimpliedyouhadnostatushere——theexpressionsarenotmine。’
’YoucannotseeMrJoseph;heisunwell，’saidMorris。
’InthatcaseIwastoplacethematterinthehandsofalawyer。
Letmesee，’saidMrMoss，openingapocket—bookwith，perhaps，suspiciouscare，attherightplace——’Yes——ofMrMichaelFinsbury。Arelation，perhaps？Inthatcase，Ipresume，thematterwillbepleasantlyarranged。’
TopassintothehandsofMichaelwastoomuchforMorris。Hestruckhiscolours。Achequeattwomonthswasnothing，afterall。Intwomonthshewouldprobablybedead，orinagaolatanyrate。HebadethemanagergiveMrMossachairandthepaper。
’I’mgoingovertogetachequesignedbyMrFinsbury，’saidhe，’whoislyingillatJohnStreet。’
Acabthereandacabback;herewereinroadsonhiswretchedcapital！Hecountedthecost;whenhewasdonewithMrMosshewouldbeleftwithtwelvepence—halfpennyintheworld。Whatwasevenworse，hehadnowbeenforcedtobringhisuncleuptoBloomsbury。’NouseforpoorJohnnyinHampshirenow，’hereflected。’Andhowthefarceistobekeptupcompletelypassesme。AtBrowndeanitwasjustpossible;inBloomsburyitseemsbeyondhumaningenuity——thoughIsupposeit’swhatMichaeldoes。
Butthenhehasaccomplices——thatScotsmanandthewholegang。
Ah，ifIhadaccomplices！’
Necessityisthemotherofthearts。Underaspursoimmediate，Morrissurprisedhimselfbytheneatnessanddispatchofhisnewforgery，andwithinthree—fourthsofanhourhadhandedittoMrMoss。
’Thatisverysatisfactory，’observedthatgentleman，rising。’I
wastotellyouitwillnotbepresented，butyouhadbettertakecare。’
TheroomswamroundMorris。’What——what’sthat？’hecried，graspingthetable。Hewasmiserablyconsciousthenextmomentofhisshrilltongueandashenface。’Whatdoyoumean——itwillnotbepresented？WhyamItotakecare？Whatisallthismummery？’
’Ihavenoidea，MrFinsbury，’repliedthesmilingHebrew。’ItwasamessageIwastodeliver。Theexpressionswereputintomymouth。’
’Whatisyourclient’sname？’askedMorris。
’Thatisasecretforthemoment，’answeredMrMoss。Morrisbenttowardhim。’It’snotthebank？’heaskedhoarsely。
’Ihavenoauthoritytosaymore，MrFinsbury，’returnedMrMoss。
’Iwillwishyouagoodmorning，ifyouplease。’
’Wishmeagoodmorning！’thoughtMorris;andthenextmoment，seizinghishat，hefledfromhisplaceofbusinesslikeamadman。Threestreetsawayhestoppedandgroaned。’Lord！I
shouldhaveborrowedfromthemanager！’hecried。’Butit’stoolatenow;itwouldlookdickytogoback;I’mpenniless——simplypenniless——liketheunemployed。’
Hewenthomeandsatinthedismantleddining—roomwithhisheadinhishands。Newtonneverthoughtharderthanthisvictimofcircumstances，andyetnoclearnesscame。’Itmaybeadefectinmyintelligence，’hecried，risingtohisfeet，’butIcannotseethatIamfairlyused。ThebadluckI’vehadisathingtowritetoTheTimesabout;it’senoughtobreedarevolution。AndtheplainEnglishofthewholethingisthatImusthavemoneyatonce。I’mdonewithallmoralitynow;I’mlongpastthatstage;
moneyImusthave，andtheonlychanceIseeisBentPitman。BentPitmanisacriminal，andthereforehisposition’sweak。Hemusthavesomeofthateighthundredleft;ifhehasI’llforcehimtogoshares;andevenifhehasn’t，I’lltellhimthetontineaffair，andwithadesperatemanlikePitmanatmyback，it’llbestrangeifIdon’tsucceed。’
Wellandgood。ButhowtolayhandsuponBentPitman，exceptbyadvertisement，wasnotsoclear。Andevenso，inwhattermstoaskameeting？onwhatgrounds？andwhere？NotatJohnStreet，foritwouldneverdotoletamanlikeBentPitmanknowyourrealaddress;noryetatPitman’shouse，somedreadfulplaceinHolloway，withatrapdoorinthebackkitchen;ahousewhichyoumightenterinalightsummerovercoatandvarnishedboots，tocomeforthagainpiecemealinamarket—basket。Thatwasthedrawbackofareallyefficientaccomplice，Morrisfelt，notwithoutashudder。’IneverdreamedIshouldcometoactuallycovetsuchsociety，’hethought。Andthenabrilliantideastruckhim。WaterlooStation，apublicplace，yetatcertainhoursofthedayasolitary;aplace，besides，theverynameofwhichmustknockupontheheartofPitman，andatoncesuggestaknowledgeofthelatestofhisguiltysecrets。Morristookapieceofpaperandsketchedhisadvertisement。