WILLIAMBENTPITMAN，ifthisshouldmeettheeyeof，hewillhearofSOMETHINGTOHISADVANTAGEonthefarendofthemainlinedepartureplatform，WaterlooStation，2to4P。M。，Sundaynext。
Morrisreperusedthisliterarytriflewithapprobation。’Terse，’
hereflected。’Somethingtohisadvantageisnotstrictlytrue;
butit’stakingandoriginal，andamanisnotonoathinanadvertisement。AllthatIrequirenowisthereadycashformyownmealsandfortheadvertisement，and——no，Ican’tlavishmoneyuponJohn，butI’llgivehimsomemorepapers。Howtoraisethewind？’
Heapproachedhiscabinetofsignets，andthecollectorsuddenlyrevoltedinhisblood。’Iwillnot！’hecried;’nothingshallinducemetomassacremycollection——rathertheft！’Anddashingupstairstothedrawing—room，hehelpedhimselftoafewofhisuncle’scuriosities：apairofTurkishbabooshes，aSmyrnafan，awater—cooler，amusketguaranteedtohavebeenseizedfromanEphesianbandit，andapocketfulofcuriousbutincompleteseashells。
CHAPTERXIV。WilliamBentPitmanHearsofSomethingtohisAdvantageOnthemorningofSunday，WilliamDentPitmanroseathisusualhour，althoughwithsomethingmorethantheusualreluctance。Thedaybefore（itshouldbeexplained）anadditionhadbeenmadetohisfamilyinthepersonofalodger。MichaelFinsburyhadactedsponsorinthebusiness，andguaranteedtheweeklybill;ontheotherhand，nodoubtwithaspiceofhisprevailingjocularity，hehaddrawnadepressingportraitofthelodger’scharacter。MrPitmanhadbeenledtounderstandhisguestwasnotgoodcompany;
hehadapproachedthegentlemanwithfear，andhadrejoicedtofindhimselftheentertainerofanangel。Atteahehadbeenvastlypleased;tillhardononeinthemorninghehadsatentrancedbyeloquenceandprogressivelyfortifiedwithinformationinthestudio;andnow，ashereviewedoverhistoilettheharmlesspleasuresoftheevening，thefuturesmileduponhimwithrevivedattractions。’MrFinsburyisindeedanacquisition，’heremarkedtohimself;andasheenteredthelittleparlour，wherethetablewasalreadylaidforbreakfast，thecordialityofhisgreetingwouldhavebefittedanacquaintanceshipalreadyold。
’Iamdelightedtoseeyou，sir’——thesewerehisexpressions——’andItrustyouhavesleptwell。’
’AccustomedasIhavebeenforsolongtoalifeofalmostperpetualchange，’repliedtheguest，’thedisturbancesooftencomplainedofbythemoresedentary，asattendingtheirfirstnightin（whatiscalled）anewbed，isacomplaintfromwhichI
amentirelyfree。’
’Iamdelightedtohearit，’saidthedrawing—masterwarmly。’ButIseeIhaveinterruptedyouoverthepaper。’
’TheSundaypaperisoneofthefeaturesoftheage，’saidMrFinsbury。’InAmerica，Iamtold，itsupersedesallotherliterature，theboneandsinewofthenationfindingtheirrequirementscateredfor;hundredsofcolumnswillbeoccupiedwithinterestingdetailsoftheworld’sdoings，suchaswater—spouts，elopements，conflagrations，andpublicentertainments;thereisacornerforpolitics，ladies’work，chess，religion，andevenliterature;andafewspicyeditorialsservetodirectthecourseofpublicthought。Itisdifficulttoestimatethepartplayedbysuchenormousandmiscellaneousrepositoriesintheeducationofthepeople。Butthis（thoughinterestinginitself）partakesofthenatureofadigression;
andwhatIwasabouttoaskyouwasthis：Areyouyourselfastudentofthedailypress？’
’Thereisnotmuchinthepaperstointerestanartist，’returnedPitman。
’Inthatcase，’resumedJoseph，’anadvertisementwhichhasappearedthelasttwodaysinvariousjournals，andreappearsthismorning，maypossiblyhavefailedtocatchyoureye。Thename，withatriflingvariation，bearsastrongresemblancetoyourown。Ah，hereitis。Ifyouplease，Iwillreadittoyou：
WILIAMBENTPITMAN，ifthisshouldmeettheeyeof，hewillhearofSOMETHINGTOHISADVANTAGEatthefarendofthemainlinedepartureplatform，WaterlooStation，2to4P。M。today。
’Isthatinprint？’criedPitman。’Letmeseeit！Bent？ItmustbeDent！SOMETHINGTOMYADVANTAGE？MrFinsbury，excusemeofferingawordofcaution;Iamawarehowstrangelythismustsoundinyourears，buttherearedomesticreasonswhythislittlecircumstancemightperhapsbebetterkeptbetweenourselves。MrsPitman——mydearSir，Iassureyouthereisnothingdishonourableinmysecrecy;thereasonsaredomestic，merelydomestic;andImaysetyourconscienceatrestwhenIassureyouallthecircumstancesareknowntoourcommonfriend，yourexcellentnephew，MrMichael，whohasnotwithdrawnfrommehisesteem。’
’Awordisenough，MrPitman，’saidJoseph，withoneofhisOrientalreverences。
Halfanhourlater，thedrawing—masterfoundMichaelinbedandreadingabook，thepictureofgood—humourandrepose。
’Hillo，Pitman，’hesaid，layingdownhisbook，’whatbringsyouhereatthisinclementhour？Oughttobeinchurch，myboy！’
’Ihavelittlethoughtofchurchtoday，MrFinsbury，’saidthedrawing—master。’Iamonthebrinkofsomethingnew，Sir。’Andhepresentedtheadvertisement。
’Why，whatisthis？’criedMichael，sittingsuddenlyup。Hestudieditforhalfaminutewithafrown。’Pitman，Idon’tcareaboutthisdocumentaparticle，’saidhe。
’Itwillhavetobeattendedto，however，’saidPitman。
’Ithoughtyou’dhadenoughofWaterloo，’returnedthelawyer。
’Haveyoustartedamorbidcraving？You’veneverbeenyourselfanywaysinceyoulostthatbeard。Ibelievenowitwaswhereyoukeptyoursenses。’
’MrFinsbury，’saidthedrawing—master，’Ihavetriedtoreasonthismatterout，and，withyourpermission，Ishouldliketolaybeforeyoutheresults。’
’Fireaway，’saidMichael;’butplease，Pitman，rememberit’sSunday，andlet’shavenobadlanguage。’
’Therearethreeviewsopentous，’beganPitman。’Firstthismaybeconnectedwiththebarrel;second，itmaybeconnectedwithMrSemitopolis’sstatue;andthird，itmaybefrommywife’sbrother，whowenttoAustralia。Inthefirstcase，whichisofcoursepossible，Iconfessthematterwouldbebestallowedtodrop。’
’Thecourtiswithyouthere，BrotherPitman，’saidMichael。
’Inthesecond，’continuedtheother，’itisplainlymydutytoleavenostoneunturnedfortherecoveryofthelostantique。’
’Mydearfellow，Semitopolishascomedownlikeatrump;hehaspocketedthelossandleftyoutheprofit。Whatmorewouldyouhave？’enquiredthelawyer。
’Iconceive，sir，undercorrection，thatMrSemitopolis’sgenerositybindsmetoevengreaterexertion，’saidthedrawing—master。’Thewholebusinesswasunfortunate;itwas——I
neednotdisguiseitfromyou——itwasillegalfromthefirst：themorereasonthatIshouldtrytobehavelikeagentleman，’
concludedPitman，flushing。
’Ihavenothingtosaytothat，’returnedthelawyer。’IhavesometimesthoughtIshouldliketotrytobehavelikeagentlemanmyself;onlyit’ssuchaone—sidedbusiness，withtheworldandthelegalprofessionastheyare。’
’Then，inthethird，’resumedthedrawing—master，’ifit’sUncleTim，ofcourse，ourfortune’smade。’
’It’snotUncleTim，though，’saidthelawyer。
’Haveyouobservedthatveryremarkableexpression：SOMETHINGTO
HISADVANTAGE？’enquiredPitmanshrewdly。
’Youinnocentmutton，’saidMichael，’it’stheseediestcommonplaceintheEnglishlanguage，andonlyprovestheadvertiserisanass。Letmedemolishyourhouseofcardsforyouatonce。WouldUncleTimmakethatblunderinyourname？——initself，theblunderisdelicious，ahugeimprovementonthegrossreality，andImeantoadoptitinthefuture;butisitlikeUncleTim？’
’No，it’snotlikehim，’Pitmanadmitted。’ButhismindmayhavebecomeunhingedatBallarat。’
’Ifyoucometothat，Pitman，’saidMichael，’theadvertisermaybeQueenVictoria，firedwiththedesiretomakeadukeofyou。I
putittoyourselfifthat’sprobable;andyetit’snotagainstthelawsofnature。Butwesitheretoconsiderprobabilities;
andwithyourgenteelpermission，IeliminateherMajestyandUncleTimonthethreshold。Toproceed，wehaveyoursecondidea，thatthishassomeconnectionwiththestatue。Possible;butinthatcasewhoistheadvertiser？NotRicardi，forheknowsyouraddress;notthepersonwhogotthebox，forhedoesn’tknowyourname。Thevanman，Ihearyousuggest，inalucidinterval。Hemighthavegotyourname，andgotitincorrectly，atthestation;
andhemighthavefailedtogetyouraddress。Igrantthevanman。
Butaquestion：Doyoureallywishtomeetthevanman？’
’WhyshouldInot？’askedPitman。
’Ifhewantstomeetyou，’repliedMichael，’observethis：itisbecausehehasfoundhisaddress—book，hasbeentothehousethatgotthestatue，and—markmywords！——ismovingattheinstigationofthemurderer。’
’Ishouldbeverysorrytothinkso，’saidPitman;’butIstillconsideritmydutytoMrSernitopolis……’
’Pitman，’interruptedMichael，’thiswillnotdo。Don’tseektoimposeonyourlegaladviser;don’ttrytopassyourselfofffortheDukeofWellington，forthatisnotyourline。Come，IwageradinnerIcanreadyourthoughts。Youstillbelieveit’sUncleTim。’
’MrFinsbury，’saidthedrawing—master，colouring，’youarenotamaninnarrowcircumstances，andyouhavenofamily。Guendolenisgrowingup，averypromisinggirl——shewasconfirmedthisyear;
andIthinkyouwillbeabletoenterintomyfeelingsasaparentwhenItellyousheisquiteignorantofdancing。Theboysareattheboardschool，whichisallverywellinitsway;atleast，Iamthelastmanintheworldtocriticizetheinstitutionsofmynativeland。ButIhadfondlyhopedthatHaroldmightbecomeaprofessionalmusician;andlittleOthoshowsaquiteremarkablevocationfortheChurch。Iamnotexactlyanambitiousman……’
’Well，well，’interruptedMichael。’Beexplicit;youthinkit’sUncleTim？’
’ItmightbeUncleTim，’insistedPitman，’andifitwere，andI
neglectedtheoccasion，howcouldIevertookmychildrenintheface？IdonotrefertoMrsPitman……’
’No，youneverdo，’saidMichael。
’……butinthecaseofherownbrotherreturningfromBallarat……’continuedPitman。
’……withhismindunhinged，’putinthelawyer。
’……returningfromBallaratwithalargefortune，herimpatiencemaybemoreeasilyimaginedthandescribed，’concludedPitman。
’Allright，’saidMichael，’beitso。Andwhatdoyouproposetodo？’
’IamgoingtoWaterloo，’saidPitman，’indisguise。’
’Allbyyourlittleself？’enquiredthelawyer。’Well，Ihopeyouthinkitsafe。Mindandsendmewordfromthepolicecells。’
’O，MrFinsbury，Ihadventuredtohope——perhapsyoumightbeinducedto——tomakeoneofus，’falteredPitman。
’DisguisemyselfonSunday？’criedMichael。’Howlittleyouunderstandmyprinciples！’
’MrFinsbury，Ihavenomeansofshowingyoumygratitude;butletmeaskyouonequestion，’saidPitman。’IfIwereaveryrichclient，wouldyounottaketherisk？’
’Diamond，Diamond，youknownotwhatyoudo！’criedMichael。
’Why，man，doyousupposeImakeapracticeofcuttingaboutLondonwithmyclientsindisguise？Doyousupposemoneywouldinducemetotouchthisbusinesswithastick？Igiveyoumywordofhonour，itwouldnot。ButIownIhavearealcuriositytoseehowyouconductthisinterview——thattemptsme;ittemptsme，Pitman，morethangold——itshouldbeexquisitelyrich。’AndsuddenlyMichaellaughed。’Well，Pitman，’saidhe，’haveallthetruckreadyinthestudio。I’llgo。’
Abouttwentyminutesaftertwo，onthiseventfulday，thevastandgloomyshedofWaterloolay，likethetempleofadeadreligion，silentanddeserted。Hereandthereatoneoftheplatforms，atrainlaybecalmed;hereandthereawanderingfootfallechoed;thecab—horsesoutsidestampedwithstartlingreverberationsonthestones;orfromtheneighbouringwildernessofrailwayanenginesnortedforthawhistle。Themain—linedepartureplatformslumberedliketherest;thebooking—hutchesclosed;thebacksofMrHaggard’snovels，withwhichuponaweekdaythebookstallshinesemblazoned，discreetlyhiddenbehinddingyshutters;therareofficials，undisguisedlysomnambulant;
andthecustomaryloiterers，eventothemiddle—agedwomanwiththeulsterandthehandbag，fledtomorecongenialscenes。Asintheinmostdellsofsomesmalltropicislandthethrobbingoftheoceanlingers，sohereafaintpervadinghumandtrepidationtoldineverycornerofsurroundingLondon。
Atthehouralreadynamed，personsacquaintedwithJohnDickson，ofBallarat，andEzraThomas，oftheUnitedStatesofAmerica，wouldhavebeencheeredtobeholdthementerthroughthebooking—office。
’Whatnamesarewetotake？’enquiredthelatter，anxiouslyadjustingthewindow—glassspectacleswhichhehadbeensufferedonthisoccasiontoassume。
’There’snochoiceforyou，myboy，’returnedMichael。’BentPitmanornothing。Asforme，IthinkIlookasifImightbecalledAppleby;somethingagreeablyold—worldaboutAppleby——breathesofDevonshirecider。Talkingofwhich，supposeyouwetyourwhistle？theinterviewislikelytobetrying。’
’IthinkI’llwaittillafterwards，’returnedPitman;’onthewhole，IthinkI’llwaittillthething’sover。Idon’tknowifitstrikesyouasitdoesme;buttheplaceseemsdesertedandsilent，MrFinsbury，andfilledwithverysingularechoes。’
’KindofJack—in—the—boxfeeling？’enquiredMichael，’asifalltheseemptytrainsmightbefilledwithpolicemenwaitingforasignal？andSirCharlesWarrenperchedamongthegirderswithasilverwhistletohislips？It’sguilt，Pitman。’
Inthisuneasyframeofmindtheywalkednearlythewholelengthofthedepartureplatform，andatthewesternextremitybecameawareofaslenderfigurestandingbackagainstapillar。Thefigurewasplainlysunkintoadeepabstraction;hewasnotawareoftheirapproach，butgazedfarabroadoverthesunlitstation。
Michaelstopped。
’Holloa！’saidhe，’canthatbeyouradvertiser？Ifso，I’mdonewithit。’Andthen，onsecondthoughts：’Notso，either，’heresumedmorecheerfully。’Here，turnyourbackamoment。So。Givemethespecs。’
’ButyouagreedIwastohavethem，’protestedPitman。
’Ah，butthatmanknowsme，’saidMichael。
’Doeshe？what’shisname？’criedPitman。
’O，hetookmeintohisconfidence，’returnedthelawyer。’ButI
maysayonething：ifhe’syouradvertiser（andhemaybe，forheseemstohavebeenseizedwithcriminallunacy）youcangoaheadwithaclearconscience，forIholdhiminthehollowofmyhand。’
Thechangeeffected，andPitmancomfortedwiththisgoodnews，thepairdrewneartoMorris。
’AreyoulookingforMrWilliamBentPitman？’enquiredthedrawing—master。’Iamhe。’
Morrisraisedhishead。Hesawbeforehim，inthespeaker，apersonofalmostindescribableinsignificance，inwhitespatsandashirtcutindecentlylow。Alittlebehind，asecondandmoreburlyfigureofferedlittletocriticism，exceptulster，whiskers，spectacles，anddeerstalkerhat。SincehehaddecidedtocallupdevilsfromtheunderworldofLondon，Morrishadpondereddeeplyontheprobabilitiesoftheirappearance。Hisfirstemotion，likethatofCharobawhenshebeheldthesea，wasoneofdisappointment;hisseconddidmorejusticetothecase。
Neverbeforehadheseenacoupledressedlikethese;hehadstruckanewstratum。
’Imustspeakwithyoualone，’saidhe。
’YouneednotmindMrAppleby，’returnedPitman。’Heknowsall。’
’All？DoyouknowwhatIamheretospeakof？’enquiredMorris——。
’Thebarrel。’
Pitmanturnedpale，butitwaswithmanlyindignation。’Youaretheman！’hecried。’Youverywickedperson。’
’AmItospeakbeforehim？’askedMorris，disregardingthesesevereexpressions。
’Hehasbeenpresentthroughout，’saidPitman。’Heopenedthebarrel;yourguiltysecretisalreadyknowntohim，aswellastoyourMakerandmyself。’
’Well，then，’saidMorris，’whathaveyoudonewiththemoney？’
’Iknownothingaboutanymoney，’saidPitman。
’Youneedn’ttrythaton，’saidMorris。’Ihavetrackedyoudown;
youcametothestationsacrilegiouslydisguisedasaclergyman，procuredmybarrel，openedit，rifledthebody，andcashedthebill。Ihavebeentothebank，Itellyou！Ihavefollowedyoustepbystep，andyourdenialsarechildishandabsurd。’
’Come，come，Morris，keepyourtemper，’saidMrAppleby。
’Michael！’criedMorris，’Michaelheretoo！’
’Heretoo，’echoedthelawyer;’hereandeverywhere，mygoodfellow;everystepyoutakeiscounted;traineddetectivesfollowyoulikeyourshadow;theyreporttomeeverythree—quartersofanhour;noexpenseisspared。’
Morris’sfacetookonahueofdirtygrey。’Well，Idon’tcare;I
havethelessreservetokeep，’hecried。’Thatmancashedmybill;it’satheft，andIwantthemoneyback。’
’DoyouthinkIwouldlietoyou，Morris？’askedMichael。
’Idon’tknow，’saidhiscousin。’Iwantmymoney。’
’ItwasIalonewhotouchedthebody，’beganMichael。
’You？Michael！’criedMorris，startingback。’Thenwhyhaven’tyoudeclaredthedeath？’’Whatthedevildoyoumean？’askedMichael。
’AmImad？orareyou？’criedMorris。
’IthinkitmustbePitman，’saidMichael。
Thethreemenstaredateachother，wild—eyed。
’Thisisdreadful，’saidMorris，’dreadful。Idonotunderstandonewordthatisaddressedtome。’
’Igiveyoumywordofhonour，nomoredoI，’saidMichael。
’AndinGod’sname，whywhiskers？’criedMorris，pointinginaghastlymannerathiscousin。’Doesmybrainreel？Howwhiskers？’
’O，that’samatterofdetail，’saidMichael。
Therewasanothersilence，duringwhichMorrisappearedtohimselftobeshotinatrapezeashighasStPaul’s，andaslowasBakerStreetStation。
’Letusrecapitulate，’saidMichael，’unlessit’sreallyadream，inwhichcaseIwishTeenawouldcallmeforbreakfast。MyfriendPitman，here，receivedabarrelwhich，itnowappears，wasmeantforyou。Thebarrelcontainedthebodyofaman。Howorwhyyoukilledhim……’
’Ineverlaidahandonhim，’protestedMorris。’ThisiswhatI
havedreadedallalong。Butthink，Michael！I’mnotthatkindofman;withallmyfaults，Iwouldn’ttouchahairofanybody’shead，anditwasalldeadlosstome。Hegotkilledinthatvileaccident。’
SuddenlyMichaelwasseizedbymirthsoprolongedandexcessivethathiscompanionssupposedbeyondadoubthisreasonhaddesertedhim。Againandagainhestruggledtocomposehimself，andagainandagainlaughteroverwhelmedhimlikeatide。InallthismaddeninginterviewtherehadbeennomorespectralfeaturethanthisofMichael’smerriment;andPitmanandMorris，drawntogetherbythecommonfear，exchangedglancesofanxiety。
’Morris，’gaspedthelawyer，whenhewasatlastabletoarticulate，’holdon，Iseeitallnow。Icanmakeitclearinoneword。Here’sthekey：INEVERGUESSEDITWASUNCLEJOSEPH
TILLTHISMOMENT。’
ThisremarkproducedaninstantlighteningofthetensionforMorris。ForPitmanitquenchedthelastrayofhopeanddaylight。
UncleJoseph，whomhehadleftanhouragoinNorfolkStreet，pastingnewspapercuttings？——it？——thedeadbody？——thenwhowashe，Pitman？andwasthisWaterlooStationorColneyHatch？
’Tobesure！’criedMorris;’itwasbadlysmashed，Iknow。Howstupidnottothinkofthat！Why，then，all’sclear;and，mydearMichael，I’lltellyouwhat——we’resaved，bothsaved。Yougetthetontine——Idon’tgrudgeityoutheleast——andIgettheleatherbusiness，whichisreallybeginningtolookup。Declarethedeathatonce，don’tmindmeinthesmallest，don’tconsiderme;
declarethedeath，andwe’reallright。’
’Ah，butIcan’tdeclareit，’saidMichael。
’Whynot？’criedMorris。
’Ican’tproducethecorpus，Morris。I’velostit，’saidthelawyer。
’Stopabit，’ejaculatedtheleathermerchant。’Howisthis？It’snotpossible。Ilostit。’
’Well，I’velostittoo，myson，’saidMichael，withextremeserenity。’Notrecognizingit，yousee，andsuspectingsomethingirregularinitsorigin，Igotridof——whatshallwesay？——gotridoftheproceedsatonce。’
’Yougotridofthebody？Whatmadeyoudothat？’walledMorris。
’Butyoucangetitagain？Youknowwhereitis？’
’IwishIdid，Morris，andyoumaybelievemethere，foritwouldbeasmallsuminmypocket;butthefactis，Idon’t，’saidMichael。
’GoodLord，’saidMorris，addressingheavenandearth，’goodLord，I’velosttheleatherbusiness！’
Michaelwasoncemoreshakenwithlaughter。
’Whydoyoulaugh，youfool？’criedhiscousin，’youlosemorethanI。You’vebungleditworsethanevenIdid。Ifyouhadasparkoffeeling，youwouldbeshakinginyourbootswithvexation。ButI’lltellyouonething——I’llhavethateighthundredpound——I’llhavethatandgotoSwanRiver——that’smine，anyway，andyourfriendmusthaveforgedtocashit。Givemetheeighthundred，here，uponthisplatform，orIgostraighttoScotlandYardandturnthewholedisreputablestoryinsideout。’
’Morris，’saidMichael，layinghishanduponhisshoulder，’hearreason。Itwasn’tus，itwastheotherman。Weneverevensearchedthebody。’
’Theotherman？’repeatedMorris。
’Yes，theotherman。WepalmedUncleJosephoffuponanotherman，’saidMichael。
’Youwhat？Youpalmedhimoff？That’ssurelyasingularexpression，’saidMorris。
’Yes，palmedhimoffforapiano，’saidMichaelwithperfectsimplicity。’Remarkablyfull，richtone，’headded。
Morriscarriedhishandtohisbrowandlookedatit;itwaswetwithsweat。’Fever，’saidhe。
’No，itwasaBroadwoodgrand，’saidMichael。’Pitmanherewilltellyouifitwasgenuineornot。’
’Eh？O！Oyes，IbelieveitwasagenuineBroadwood;Ihaveplayeduponitseveraltimesmyself，’saidPitman。’Thethree—letterEwasbroken。’
’Don’tsayanythingmoreaboutpianos，’saidMorris，withastrongshudder;’I’mnotthemanIusedtobe！This——thisotherman——let’scometohim，ifIcanonlymanagetofollow。Whoishe？WherecanIgetholdofhim？’
’Ah，that’stherub，’saidMichael。’He’sbeeninpossessionofthedesiredarticle，letmesee——sinceWednesday，aboutfouro’clock，andisnow，Ishouldimagine，onhiswaytotheislesofJavanandGadire。’
’Michael，’saidMorrispleadingly，’Iaminaveryweakstate，andIbegyourconsiderationforakinsman。Sayitslowlyagain，andbesureyouarecorrect。Whendidhegetit？’
Michaelrepeatedhisstatement。
’Yes，that’stheworstthingyet，’saidMorris，drawinginhisbreath。
’Whatis？’askedthelawyer。
’Eventhedatesaresheernonsense，’saidtheleathermerchant。
’ThebillwascashedonTuesday。There’snotagleamofreasoninthewholetransaction。’
Ayounggentleman，whohadpassedthetrioandsuddenlystartedandturnedback，atthismomentlaidaheavyhandonMichael’sshoulder。
’Aha！sothisisMrDickson？’saidhe。
ThetrumpofjudgementcouldscarcehaverungwithamoredreadfulnoteintheearsofPitmanandthelawyer。ToMorristhiserroneousnameseemedalegitimateenoughcontinuationofthenightmareinwhichhehadsolongbeenwandering。AndwhenMichael，withhisbrand—newbushywhiskers，brokefromthegraspofthestrangerandturnedtorun，andtheweirdlittleshavencreatureinthelow—neckedshirtfollowedhisexamplewithabird—likescreech，andthestranger（findingtherestofhispreyescapehim）pouncedwitharudegrasponMorrishimself，thatgentleman’sframeofmindmightbeverynearlyexpressedinthecolloquialphrase：’Itoldyouso！’
’Ihaveoneofthegang，’saidGideonForsyth。
’Idonotunderstand，’saidMorrisdully。
’O，Iwillmakeyouunderstand，’returnedGideongrimly。
’Youwillbeagoodfriendtomeifyoucanmakemeunderstandanything，’criedMorris，withasuddenenergyofconviction。
’Idon’tknowyoupersonally，doI？’continuedGideon，examininghisunresistingprisoner。’Nevermind，Iknowyourfriends。Theyareyourfriends，aretheynot？’
’Idonotunderstandyou，’saidMorris。
’Youhadpossiblysomethingtodowithapiano？’suggestedGideon。
’Apiano！’criedMorris，convulsivelyclaspingGideonbythearm。
’Thenyou’retheotherman！Whereisit？Whereisthebody？Anddidyoucashthedraft？’
’Whereisthebody？Thisisverystrange，’musedGideon。’Doyouwantthebody？’
’Wantit？’criedMorris。’Mywholefortunedependsuponit！I
lostit。Whereisit？Takemetoit？
’O，youwantit，doyou？Andtheotherman，Dickson——doeshewantit？’enquiredGideon。
’WhodoyoumeanbyDickson？O，MichaelFinsbury！Why，ofcoursehedoes！Helostittoo。Ifhehadit，he’dhavewonthetontinetomorrow。’
’MichaelFinsbury！Notthesolicitor？’criedGideon。’Yes，thesolicitor，’saidMorris。’Butwhereisthebody？’
’Thenthatiswhyhesentthebrief！WhatisMrFinsbury’sprivateaddress？’askedGideon。
’233King’sRoad。Whatbrief？Whereareyougoing？Whereisthebody？’criedMorris，clingingtoGideon’sarm。
’Ihavelostitmyself，’returnedGideon，andranoutofthestation。
CHAPTERXV。TheReturnoftheGreatVanceMorrisreturnedfromWaterlooinaframeofmindthatbafflesdescription。Hewasamodestman;hehadneverconceivedanoverweeningnotionofhisownpowers;heknewhimselfunfittowriteabook，turnatablenapkin—ring，entertainaChristmaspartywithlegerdemain——grapple（inshort）anyofthoseconspicuousaccomplishmentsthatareusuallyclassedundertheheadofgenius。Heknew——headmitted——hispartstobepedestrian，buthehadconsideredthem（untilquitelately）fullyequaltothedemandsoflife。Andtodayheownedhimselfdefeated：lifehadtheupperhand;iftherehadbeenanymeansofflightorplacetofleeto，iftheworldhadbeensoorderedthatamancouldleaveitlikeaplaceofentertainment，Morriswouldhaveinstantlyresignedallfurtherclaimonitsrewardsandpleasures，and，withinexpressiblecontentment，ceasedtobe。Asitwas，oneaimshonebeforehim：hecouldgethome。Evenasthesickdogcrawlsunderthesofa，MorriscouldshutthedoorofJohnStreetandbealone。
Theduskwasfallingwhenhedrewnearthisplaceofrefuge;andthefirstthingthatmethiseyeswasthefigureofamanuponthestep，alternatelypluckingatthebell—handleandpoundingonthepanels。Themanhadnohat，hisclotheswerehideouswithfilth，hehadtheairofahop—picker。YetMorrisknewhim;itwasJohn。
Thefirstimpulseofflightwassucceeded，intheelderbrother’sbosom，bytheemptyquiescenceofdespair。’Whatdoesitmatternow？’hethought，anddrawingforthhislatchkeyascendedthesteps。
Johnturnedabout;hisfacewasghastlywithwearinessanddirtandfury;andasherecognizedtheheadofhisfamily，hedrewinalongraspingbreath，andhiseyesglittered。
’Openthatdoor，’hesaid，standingback。
’Iamgoingto，’saidMorris，andaddedmentally，’Helookslikemurder！’
Thebrotherspassedintothehall，thedoorclosedbehindthem;
andsuddenlyJohnseizedMorrisbytheshouldersandshookhimasaterriershakesarat。’Youmangylittlecad，’hesaid，’I’dserveyourighttosmashyourskull！’Andshookhimagain，sothathisteethrattledandhisheadsmoteuponthewall。
’Don’tbeviolent，Johnny，’saidMorris。’Itcan’tdoanygoodnow。’
’Shutyourmouth，’saidJohn，’yourtime’scometolisten。’
Hestrodeintothedining—room，fellintotheeasy—chair，andtakingoffoneofhisburstwalking—shoes，nursedforawhilehisfootlikeoneinagony。’I’mlameforlife，’hesaid。’Whatistherefordinner？’
’Nothing，Johnny，’saidMorris。
’Nothing？Whatdoyoumeanbythat？’enquiredtheGreatVance。
’Don’tsetupyourchattome！’
’Imeansimplynothing，’saidhisbrother。’Ihavenothingtoeat，andnothingtobuyitwith。I’veonlyhadacupofteaandasandwichallthisdaymyself。’
’Onlyasandwich？’sneeredVance。’IsupposeYOU’REgoingtocomplainnext。Butyouhadbettertakecare：I’vehadallImeantotake;andIcantellyouwhatitis，Imeantodineandtodinewell。Takeyoursignetsandsellthem。’
’Ican’ttoday，’objectedMorris;’it’sSunday。’
’ItellyouI’mgoingtodine！’criedtheyoungerbrother。
’Butifit’snotpossible，Johnny？’pleadedtheother。
’Younincompoop！’criedVance。’Ain’twehouseholders？Don’ttheyknowusatthathotelwhereUncleParkerusedtocome。Beoffwithyou;andifyouain’tbackinhalfanhour，andifthedinnerain’tgood，firstI’lllickyoutillyoudon’twanttobreathe，andthenI’llgostraighttothepoliceandblowthegaff。Doyouunderstandthat，MorrisFinsbury？Becauseifyoudo，youhadbetterjump。’
TheideasmiledevenuponthewretchedMorris，whowassickwithfamine。Hespeduponhiserrand，andreturnedtofindJohnstillnursinghisfootinthearmchair。
’Whatwouldyouliketodrink，Johnny？’heenquiredsoothingly。
’Fizz，’saidJohn。’Someofthepoppystufffromtheendbin;abottleoftheoldportthatMichaelliked，tofollow;andseeanddon’tshaketheport。Andlookhere，lightthefire——andthegas，anddrawdowntheblinds;it’scoldandit’sgettingdark。Andthenyoucanlaythecloth。And，Isay——here，you！bringmedownsomeclothes。’
Theroomlookedcomparativelyhabitablebythetimethedinnercame;andthedinneritselfwasgood：stronggravysoup，filletsofsole，muttonchopsandtomatosauce，roastbeefdonerarewithroastpotatoes，cabinetpudding，apieceofChestercheese，andsomeearlycelery：amealuncompromisinglyBritish，butsupporting。
’ThankGod！’saidJohn，hisnostrilssniffingwide，surprisedbyjoyintotheunwontedformalityofgrace。’NowI’mgoingtotakethischairwithmybacktothefire——there’sbeenastrongfrostthesetwolastnights，andIcan’tgetitoutofmybones;thecelerywillbejusttheticket——I’mgoingtosithere，andyouaregoingtostandthere，MorrisFinsbury，andplaybutler。’
’But，Johnny，I’msohungrymyself，’pleadedMorris。
’YoucanhavewhatIleave，’saidVance。’You’rejustbeginningtopayyourscore，mydaisy;Ioweyouone—pound—ten;don’tyourousetheBritishlion！’TherewassomethingindescribablymenacinginthefaceandvoiceoftheGreatVanceasheutteredthesewords，atwhichthesoulofMorriswithered。’There！’
resumedthefeaster，’giveusaglassofthefizztostartwith。
Gravysoup！AndIthoughtIdidn’tlikegravysoup！DoyouknowhowIgothere？’heasked，withanotherexplosionofwrath。
’No，Johnny;howcouldI？’saidtheobsequiousMorris。
’Iwalkedonmytentoes！’criedJohn;’trampedthewholewayfromBrowndean;andbegged！Iwouldliketoseeyoubeg。It’snotsoeasyasyoumightsuppose。IplayeditonbeingashipwreckedmarinerfromBlyth;Idon’tknowwhereBlythis，doyou？butI
thoughtitsoundednatural。Ibeggedfromalittlebeastofaschoolboy，andheforkedoutabitoftwine，andaskedmetomakeaclovehitch;Idid，too，IknowIdid，buthesaiditwasn’t，hesaiditwasagranny’sknot，andIwasawhat—d’ye—call—’em，andhewouldgivemeincharge。ThenIbeggedfromanavalofficer——heneverbotheredmewithknots，butheonlygavemeatract;there’saniceaccountoftheBritishnavy！——andthenfromawidowwomanthatsoldlollipops，andIgotahunchofbreadfromher。AnotherpartyIfellinwithsaidyoucouldgenerallyalwaysgetbread;andthethingtodowastobreakaplateglasswindowandgetintogaol;seemedratherabrilliantscheme。Passthebeef。’
’Whydidn’tyoustayatBrowndean？’Morrisventuredtoenquire。
’Skittles！’saidJohn。’Onwhat？ThePinkUnandameaslyreligiouspaper？IhadtoleaveBrowndean;Ihadto，Itellyou。
Igottickatapublic，andsetuptobetheGreatVance;sowouldyou，ifyouwereleadingsuchabeastlyexistence！Andacardstoodmealotofaleandstuff，andwegotswipey，talkingaboutmusic—hallsandthepilesoftinIgotforsinging;andthentheygotmeontosing\"AroundhersplendidformIweavedthemagiccircle，\"andthenhesaidIcouldn’tbeVance，andI
stucktoitlikegrimdeathIwas。Itwasrotofmetosing，ofcourse，butIthoughtIcouldbrazenitoutwithasetofyokels。
Itsettledmyhashatthepublic，’saidJohn，withasigh。’Andthenthelastthingwasthecarpenter——’
’Ourlandlord？’enquiredMorris。
’That’stheparty，’saidJohn。’Hecamenosingabouttheplace，andthenwantedtoknowwherethewater—buttwas，andthebedclothes。Itoldhimtogotothedevil;sowouldyoutoo，whentherewasnopossiblethingtosay！AndthenhesaidIhadpawnedthem，anddidIknowitwasfelony？ThenImadeaprettyneatstroke。Irememberedhewasdeaf，andtalkedawholelotofrot，verypolitely，justsolowhecouldn’thearaword。\"Idon’thearyou，\"sayshe。\"Iknowyoudon’t，mybuck，andIdon’tmeanyouto，\"saysI，smilingawaylikeahaberdasher。\"I’mhardofhearing，’heroars。\"I’dbeinaprettyhotcornerifyouweren’t，\"saysI，makingsignsasifIwasexplainingeverything。
Itwastip—topaslongasitlasted。\"Well，\"hesaid，\"I’mdeaf，worseluck，butIbettheconstablecanhearyou。\"Andoffhestartedoneway，andItheother。Theygotaspirit—lampandthePinkUn，andthatoldreligiouspaper，andanotherperiodicalyousentme。Ithinkyoumusthavebeendrunk——ithadanamelikeoneofthosespotsthatUncleJosephusedtoholdforthat，anditwasallfullofthemostawfulswipesaboutpoetryandtheuseoftheglobes。Itwasthekindofthingthatnobodycouldreadoutofalunaticasylum。TheAthaeneum，thatwasthename！Golly，whatapaper！’
’Athenaeum，youmean，’saidMorris。
’Idon’tcarewhatyoucallit，’saidJohn，’soasIdon’trequiretotakeitin！There，Ifeelbetter。NowI’mgoingtositbythefireintheeasy—chair;passmethecheese，andthecelery，andthebottleofport——no，achampagneglass，itholdsmore。Andnowyoucanpitchin;there’ssomeofthefishleftandachop，andsomefizz。Ah，’sighedtherefreshedpedestrian，’Michaelwasrightaboutthatport;there’soldandvattedforyou！Michael’samanIlike;he’scleverandreadsbooks，andtheAthaeneum，andallthat;buthe’snotdrearytomeet，hedon’ttalkAthaeneumliketheotherparties;why，themostofthemwouldthrowablightoveraskittlealley！TalkingofMichael，I
ain’tboredmyselftoputthequestion，becauseofcourseIknewitfromthefirst。You’vemadeahashofit，eh？’
’Michaelmadeahashofit，’saidMorris，flushingdark。
’Whathavewegottodowiththat？’enquiredJohn。
’Hehaslostthebody，that’swhatwehavetodowithit，’criedMorris。’Hehaslostthebody，andthedeathcan’tbeestablished。’
’Holdon，’saidJohn。’Ithoughtyoudidn’twantto？’
’O，we’refarpastthat，’saidhisbrother。’It’snotthetontinenow，it’stheleatherbusiness，Johnny;it’stheclothesuponourback。’
’Stowtheslowmusic，’saidJohn，’andtellyourstoryfrombeginningtoend。’Morrisdidashewasbid。
’Well，now，whatdidItellyou？’criedtheGreatVance，whentheotherhaddone。’ButIknowonething：I’mnotgoingtobehumbuggedoutofmyproperty。’
’Ishouldliketoknowwhatyoumeantodo，’saidMorris。
’I’lltellyouthat，’respondedJohnwithextremedecision。’I’mgoingtoputmyinterestsinthehandsofthesmartestlawyerinLondon;andwhetheryougotoquodornotisamatterofindifferencetome。’
’Why，Johnny，we’reinthesameboat！’expostulatedMorris。
’Arewe？’criedhisbrother。’Ibetwe’renot！HaveIcommittedforgery？haveIliedaboutUncleJoseph？haveIputidioticadvertisementsinthecomicpapers？haveIsmashedotherpeople’sstatues？Ilikeyourcheek，MorrisFinsbury。No，I’veletyourunmyaffairstoolong;nowtheyshallgotoMichael。IlikeMichael，anyway;andit’stimeIunderstoodmysituation。’
Atthismomentthebrethrenwereinterruptedbyaringatthebell，andMorris，goingtimorouslytothedoor，receivedfromthehandsofacommissionairealetteraddressedinthehandofMichael。Itscontentsranasfollows：
MORRISFINSBURY，ifthisshouldmeettheeyeof，hewillhearofSOMETHINGTOHISADVANTAGEatmyoffice，inChanceryLane，at10
A。M。tomorrow。MICHAELFINSBURY
SoutterwasMorris’ssubjectionthathedidnotwaittobeasked，buthandedthenotetoJohnassoonashehadglancedatithimself’That’sthewaytowritealetter，’criedJohn。’NobodybutMichaelcouldhavewrittenthat。’
AndMorrisdidnotevenclaimthecreditofpriority。
CHAPTERXVI。FinalAdjustmentoftheLeatherBusinessFinsburybrotherswereushered，attenthenextmorning，intoalargeapartmentinMichael’soffice;theGreatVance，somewhatrestoredfromyesterday’sexhaustion，butwithonefootinaslipper;Morris，notpositivelydamaged，butamantenyearsolderthanhewhohadleftBournemoutheightdaysbefore，hisfaceploughedfullofanxiouswrinkles，hisdarkhairliberallygrizzledatthetemples。
Threepersonswereseatedatatabletoreceivethem：Michaelinthemidst，GideonForsythonhisrighthand，onhisleftanancientgentlemanwithspectaclesandsilverhair。’ByJingo，it’sUncleJoe！’criedJohn。
ButMorrisapproachedhisunclewithapalecountenanceandglitteringeyes。
’I’lltellyouwhatyoudid！’hecried。’Youabsconded！’
’Goodmorning，MorrisFinsbury，’returnedJoseph，withnolessasperity;’youarelookingseriouslyill。’
’Nousemakingtroublenow，’remarkedMichael。’Lookthefactsintheface。Youruncle，asyousee，wasnotsomuchasshakenintheaccident;amanofyourhumanedispositionoughttobedelighted。’
’Then，ifthat’sso，’Morrisbrokeforth，’howaboutthebody？
Youdon’tmeantoinsinuatethatthingIschemedandsweatedfor，andcolportedwithmyownhands，wasthebodyofatotalstranger？’
’Ono，wecan’tgoasfarasthat，’saidMichaelsoothingly;’youmayhavemethimattheclub。’
Morrisfellintoachair。’Iwouldhavefounditoutifithadcometothehouse，’hecomplained。’Andwhydidn’tit？whydiditgotoPitman？whatrighthadPitmantoopenit？’
’Ifyoucometothat，Morris，whathaveyoudonewiththecolossalHercules？’askedMichael。
’Hewentthroughitwiththemeat—axe，’saidJohn。’It’sallinspillikinsinthebackgarden。’
’Well，there’sonething，’snappedMorris;’there’smyuncleagain，myfraudulenttrustee。He’smine，anyway。Andthetontinetoo。Iclaimthetontine;Iclaimitnow。IbelieveUncleMasterman’sdead。’
’Imustputastoptothisnonsense，’saidMichael，’andthatforever。Yousaytoonearthetruth。Inonesenseyouruncleisdead，andhasbeensolong;butnotinthesenseofthetontine，whichitisevenonthecardshemayyetlivetowin。UncleJosephsawhimthismorning;hewilltellyouhestilllives，buthismindisinabeyance。’
’Hedidnotknowme，’saidJoseph;todohimjustice，notwithoutemotion。
’Soyou’reoutagainthere，Morris，’saidJohn。’Myeye！whatafoolyou’vemadeofyourself！’
’Andthatwaswhyyouwouldn’tcompromise，’saidMorris。
’AsfortheabsurdpositioninwhichyouandUncleJosephhavebeenmakingyourselvesanexhibition，’resumedMichael，’itismorethantimeitcametoanend。Ihavepreparedaproperdischargeinfull，whichyoushallsignasapreliminary。’
’What？’criedMorris，’andlosemyseventhousandeighthundredpounds，andtheleatherbusiness，andthecontingentinterest，andgetnothing？Thankyou。’
’It’slikeyoutofeelgratitude，Morris，’beganMichael。
’O，Iknowit’snogoodappealingtoyou，yousneeringdevil！’
criedMorris。’Butthere’sastrangerpresent，Ican’tthinkwhy，andIappealtohim。IwasrobbedofthatmoneywhenIwasanorphan，amerechild，atacommercialacademy。Sincethen，I’veneverhadawishbuttogetbackmyown。Youmayhearalotofstuffaboutme;andthere’snodoubtattimesIhavebeenill—advised。Butit’sthepathosofmysituation;that’swhatI
wanttoshowyou。’
’Morris，’interruptedMichael，’Idowishyouwouldletmeaddonepoint，forIthinkitwillaffectyourjudgement。It’spathetictoosincethat’syourtasteinliterature。’
’Well，whatisit？’saidMorris。
’It’sonlythenameofoneofthepersonswho’stowitnessyoursignature，Morris，’repliedMichael。’Hisname’sMoss，mydear。’
Therewasalongsilence。’Imighthavebeensureitwasyou！’
criedMorris。
’You’llsign，won’tyou？’saidMichael。
’Doyouknowwhatyou’redoing？’criedMorris。’You’recompoundingafelony。’
’Verywell，then，wewon’tcompoundit，Morris，’returnedMichael。’SeehowlittleIunderstoodthesterlingintegrityofyourcharacter！Ithoughtyouwouldpreferitso。’
’Lookhere，Michael，’saidJohn，’thisisallveryfineandlarge;buthowaboutme？Morrisisgoneup，Iseethat;butI’mnot。AndIwasrobbed，too，mindyou;andjustasmuchanorphan，andattheblessedsameacademyashimself’
’Johnny，’saidMichael，’don’tyouthinkyou’dbetterleaveittome？’
’I’myourman，’saidJohn。’Youwouldn’tdeceiveapoororphan，I’lltakemyoath。Morris，yousignthatdocument，orI’llstartinandastonishyourweakmind。’
Withasuddenalacrity，Morrisprofferedhiswillingness。Clerkswerebroughtin，thedischargewasexecuted，andtherewasJosephafreemanoncemore。
’Andnow，’saidMichael，’hearwhatIproposetodo。Here，JohnandMorris，istheleatherbusinessmadeovertothepairofyouinpartnership。Ihavevalueditatthelowestpossiblefigure，PogramandJarris’s。Andhereisachequeforthebalanceofyourfortune。Now，yousee，Morris，youstartfreshfromthecommercialacademy;and，asyousaidyourselftheleatherbusinesswaslookingup，Isupposeyou’llprobablymarrybeforelong。Here’syourmarriagepresent——fromaMrMoss。’
Morrisboundedonhischequewithacrimsonedcountenance。
’Idon’tunderstandtheperformance，’remarkedJohn。’Itseemstoogoodtobetrue。’
’It’ssimplyareadjustment，’Michaelexplained。’ItakeupUncleJoseph’sliabilities;andifhegetsthetontine，it’stobemine;ifmyfathergetsit，it’smineanyway，yousee。SothatI’mratheradvantageouslyplaced。’
’Morris，myunconvertedfriend，you’vegotleft，’wasJohn’scomment。
’Andnow，MrForsyth，’resumedMichael，turningtohissilentguest，’hereareallthecriminalsbeforeyou，exceptPitman。I
reallydidn’tliketointerrupthisscholasticcareer;butyoucanhavehimarrestedattheseminary——Iknowhishours。Herewearethen;we’renotprettytolookat：whatdoyouproposetodowithus？’
’Nothingintheworld，MrFinsbury，’returnedGideon。’Iseemtounderstandthatthisgentleman’———indicatingMorris——’isthefonsetorigoofthetrouble;and，fromwhatIgather，hehasalreadypaidthroughthenose。Andreally，tobequitefrank，Idonotseewhoistogainbyanyscandal;notme，atleast。Andbesides，Ihavetothankyouforthatbrief。’
Michaelblushed。’ItwastheleastIcoulddotoletyouhavesomebusiness，’hesaid。’Butthere’sonethingmore。Idon’twantyoutomisjudgepoorPitman，whoisthemostharmlessbeinguponearth。Iwishyouwoulddinewithmetonight，andseethecreatureonhisnativeheath——sayatVerrey’s？’
’Ihavenoengagement，MrFinsbury，’repliedGideon。’Ishallbedelighted。Butsubjecttoyourjudgement，canwedonothingforthemaninthecart？Ihavequalmsofconscience。’
’Nothingbutsympathize，’saidMichael。