\"Easyforhim,\"mutteredPeterbitterly。\"Alwaysdoeshaveanappointmentoutsidethemomentshebegins。\"
Tommyappearedtobethrowingherverysoulintotheperformance。
Passers—byinCraneCourtpaused,regardedthefirst—floorwindowsofthepublishingandeditorialofficesofGoodHumourwithtroubledlooks,thenhurriedon。
\"Shehas——remarkablyfirmdouch!\"shoutedthedoctorintoPeter’sear。\"Willseeyou——evening。Someting——saytoyou。\"
Thefatlittledoctortookhishatanddeparted。Tommy,ceasingsuddenly,cameoverandseatedherselfonthearmofPeter’schair。
\"Feelinggrumpy?\"askedTommy。
\"Itisn’t,\"explainedPeter,\"thatImindthenoise。I’dputupwiththatifIcouldseethegoodofit。\"
\"It’sgoingtohelpmetogetahusband,dad。Seemstomeanoddwayofdoingit;butBillysaysso,andBillyknowsallabouteverything。\"
\"Ican’tunderstandyou,asensiblegirl,listeningtosuchnonsense,\"saidPeter。\"It’sthatthattroublesme。\"
\"Dad,whereareyourwits?\"demandedTommy。\"Isn’tBillyactinglikeabrick?Why,hecouldgointoFleetStreettohalfadozenotherpapersandmakefivehundredayearasadvertising—agent——youknowhecould。Buthedoesn’t。Hestickstous。Ifmymakingmyselfridiculouswiththattinpottheypersuadedhimwasapianoisgoingtopleasehim,isn’titcommonsenseandsoundbusiness,tosaynothingofgoodnatureandgratitude,formetodoit?Dad,I’vegotasurpriseforhim。Listen。\"AndTommy,springingfromthearmofPeter’schair,returnedtothepiano。
\"Whatwasit?\"questionedTommy,havingfinished。\"Couldyourecogniseit?\"
\"Ithink,\"saidPeter,\"itsoundedlike——Itwasn’t’Home,SweetHome,’wasit?\"
Tommyclappedherhands。\"Yes,itwas。You’llendbylikingityourself,dad。We’llhavemusical’AtHomes。’\"
\"Tommy,haveIbroughtyouupproperly,doyouthink?\"
\"Nodad,youhaven’t。Youhaveletmehavemyownwaytoomuch。
Youknowtheproverb:’Goodmothersmakebaddaughters。’Clodd’sright;you’vespoiltme,dad。Doyouremember,dad,whenIfirstcametoyou,sevenyearsago,araggedlittlebratoutofthestreets,thatdidn’tknowitselfwhether’twasaboyoragirl?DoyouknowwhatIthoughttomyselfthemomentIseteyesonyou?
’Here’sasoftoldjuggins;I’llbeallrightifIcangetinhere!’Itmakesyousmart,knockingaboutintheguttersandbeingknockedabout;youreadfacesquickly。\"
\"Doyourememberyourcooking,Tommy?You’hadanaptitudeforit,’accordingtoyourownidea。\"
Tommylaughed。\"Iwonderhowyoustoodit。\"
\"Youweresoobstinate。Youcametomeas’cookandhousekeeper,’
andascookandhousekeeper,andasnothingelse,wouldyouremain。
IfIsuggestedanychange,upwouldgoyourchinintotheair。I
darednotevendineouttoooften,youweresuchalittletyrant。
Theonlythingyouwerealwaysreadytodo,ifIwasn’tsatisfied,wastomarchoutofthehouseandleaveme。Whereverdidyougetthatsavageindependenceofyours?\"
\"Idon’tknow。Ithinkitmusthavebeenfromawoman——perhapsshewasmymother;Idon’tknow——whousedtositupinthebedandcough,allnightitseemedtome。Peoplewouldcometoseeus——
ladiesinfineclothes,andgentlemenwithoilyhair。Ithinktheywantedtohelpus。Manyofthemhadkindvoices。Butalwaysahardlookwouldcomeintoherface,andshewouldtellthemwhateventhenIknewtobeuntrue——itwasoneofthefirstthingsIcanrecollect——thatwehadeverythingwewanted,thatweneedednohelpfromanyone。Theywouldgoaway,shruggingtheirshoulders。I
grewupwiththefeelingthatseemedtohavebeenburntintomybrain,thattotakefromanybodyanythingyouhadnotearnedwasshameful。Idon’tthinkIcoulddoitevennow,notevenfromyou。
Iamusefultoyou,dad——Idohelpyou?\"
TherehadcreptaterrorintoTommy’svoice。Peterfeltthelittlehandsuponhisarmtrembling。
\"Helpme?Why,youworklikeanigger——likeaniggerissupposedtowork,butdoesn’t。Noone——whateverwepaidhim——woulddohalfasmuch。Idon’twanttomakeyourheadmoreswollenthanitis,youngwoman,butyouhavetalent;Iamnotsureitisnotgenius。\"
Peterfeltthelittlehandstightenuponhisarm。
\"Idowantthispapertobeasuccess;thatiswhyIstrumuponthepianotopleaseClodd。Isithumbug?\"
\"Iamafraiditis;buthumbugisthesweetoilthathelpsthiswhirlingworldofourstospinroundsmoothly。Toomuchofitcloys:wedropitverygently。\"
\"Butyouaresureitisonlyhumbug,Tommy?\"ItwasPeter’svoiceintowhichfearhadenterednow。\"ItisnotthatyouthinkheunderstandsyoubetterthanIdo——woulddomoreforyou?\"
\"YouwantmetotellyouallIthinkofyou,andthatisn’tgoodforyou,dad——nottoooften。Itwouldbeyouwhowouldhaveswelledheadthen。\"
\"Iamjealous,Tommy,jealousofeveryonethatcomesnearyou。
Lifeisatragedyforusoldfolks。Weknowtheremustcomeadaywhenyouwillleavethenest,leaveusvoiceless,ridiculous,flittingamongbarebranches。Youwillunderstandlater,whenyouhavechildrenofyourown。Thisfoolishtalkaboutahusband!Itisworseforamanthanitisforthewoman。Themotherlivesagaininherchild:themanisrobbedofall。\"
\"Dad,doyouknowhowoldIam?——thatyouaretalkingterriblenonsense?\"
\"Hewillcome,littlegirl。\"
\"Yes,\"answeredTommy,\"Isupposehewill;butnotforalongwhile——oh,notforaverylongwhile。Don’t。Itfrightensme。\"
\"You?Whyshoulditfrightenyou?\"
\"Thepain。Itmakesmefeelacoward。Iwantittocome;Iwanttotastelife,todrainthewholecup,tounderstand,tofeel。Butthatistheboyinme。Iammorethanhalfaboy,Ialwayshavebeen。Butthewomaninme:itshrinksfromtheordeal。\"
\"Youtalk,Tommy,asifloveweresomethingterrible。\"
\"Thereareallthingsinit;Ifeelit,dad。Itislifeinasingledraught。Itfrightensme。\"
Thechildwasstandingwithherfacehiddenbehindherhands。OldPeter,alwaysverybadatlying,stoodsilent,notknowingwhatconsolationtoconcoct。Theshadowpassed,andTommy’slaughingeyeslookedoutagain。
\"Haven’tyouanythingtodo,dad——outside,Imean?\"
\"Youwanttogetridofme?\"
\"Well,I’venothingelsetooccupymetilltheproofscomein。I’mgoingtopractise,hard。\"
\"IthinkI’llturnovermyarticleontheEmbankment,\"saidPeter。
\"There’sonethingyouallofyououghttobegratefultomefor,\"
laughedTommy,assheseatedherselfatthepiano。\"Idoinduceyoualltotakemorefreshairthanotherwiseyouwould。\"
Tommy,leftalone,setherselftohertaskwiththeenergyandthoroughnessthatwerecharacteristicofher。Strugglingwithcomplicatedscales,TommybenthereyescloserandcloseroverthepagesofCzerny’sExercises。Glancinguptoturnapage,Tommy,tohersurprise,mettheeyesofastranger。Theywerebrowneyes,theirexpressionsympathetic。Belowthem,lookinggoldenwiththesunlightfallingonit,wasamoustacheandbeardcutshortinVandykefashion,notaltogetherhidingapleasantmouth,aboutthecornersofwhichlurkedasmile。
\"Ibegyourpardon,\"saidthestranger。\"Iknockedthreetimes。
Perhapsyoudidnothearme?\"
\"No,Ididn’t,\"confessedTommy,closingthebookofCzerny’sExercises,andrisingwithchinatananglethat,toanyoneacquaintedwiththechartofTommy’stemperament,mighthavesuggestedtheadvisabilityofseekingshelter。
\"ThisistheeditorialofficeofGoodHumour,isitnot?\"inquiredthestranger。
\"Itis。\"
\"Istheeditorin?\"
\"Theeditorisout。\"
\"Thesub—editor?\"suggestedthestranger。
\"Iamthesub—editor。\"
Thestrangerraisedhiseyebrows。Tommy,onthecontrary,loweredhers。
\"Wouldyoumindglancingthroughthat?\"Thestrangerdrewfromhispocketafoldedmanuscript。\"Itwillnottakeyouamoment。I
ought,ofcourse,tohavesentitthroughthepost;butIamsotiredofsendingthingsthroughthepost。\"
Thestranger’smannerwascompoundedofdignifiedimpudencecombinedwithpathetichumility。Hiseyesbothchallengedandpleaded。Tommyheldoutherhandforthepaperandretiredwithitbehindtheprotectionofthebigeditorialdeskthat,flankedononesidebyascreenandontheotherbyaformidablerevolvingbookcase,stretchedfortress—likeacrossthenarrowroom。Thestrangerremainedstanding。
\"Yes。It’spretty,\"criticisedthesub—editor。\"Worthprinting,perhaps,notworthpayingfor。\"
\"Notmerelya——anominalsum,sufficienttodistinguishitfromtheworkoftheamateur?\"
Tommypursedherlips。\"Poetryisquiteadruginthemarket。Wecangetasmuchaswewantofitfornothing。\"
\"Sayhalfacrown,\"suggestedthestranger。
Tommyshotaswiftglanceacrossthedesk,andforthefirsttimesawthewholeofhim。Hewascladinathreadbare,long,brownulster——long,thatis,itwouldhavebeenuponanordinaryman,butthestrangerhappeningtoberemarkablytall,itappearedonhimridiculouslyshort,reachingonlytohisknees。Roundhisneckandtuckedintohiswaistcoat,thuscompletelyhidingtheshirtandcollarhemayhavebeenwearingormaynot,wascarefullyarrangedabluesilkmuffler。Hishands,whichwerebare,lookedblueandcold。Yettheblackfrock—coatandwaistcoatandFrenchgreytrousersboretheunmistakablecutofafirst—classtailorandfittedhimtoperfection。Hishat,whichhehadrestedonthedesk,shoneresplendent,andthehandleofhissilkumbrellawasaneagle’sheadingold,withtwosmallrubiesfortheeyes。
\"Youcanleaveitifyoulike,\"consentedTommy。\"I’llspeaktotheeditoraboutitwhenhereturns。\"
\"Youwon’tforgetit?\"urgedthestranger。
\"No,\"answeredTommy。\"Ishallnotforgetit。\"
Herblackeyeswerefixeduponthestrangerwithoutherbeingawareofit。Shehaddroppedunconsciouslyintoher\"stocktaking\"
attitude。
\"Thankyouverymuch,\"saidthestranger。\"Iwillcallagainto—
morrow。\"
Thestranger,movingbackwardtothedoor,wentout。
Tommysatwithherfacebetweenherhands。Czerny’sExerciseslayneglected。
\"Anybodycalled?\"askedPeterHope。
\"No,\"answeredTommy。\"Oh,justaman。Leftthis——notbad。\"
\"Theoldstory,\"musedPeter,asheunfoldedthemanuscript。\"Weallofusbeginwithpoetry。Thenwetaketoproseromances;
poetrydoesn’tpay。Finally,wewritearticles:’HowtobeHappythoughMarried,’’WhatshallwedowithourDaughters?’Itislifesummarised。Whatisitallabout?\"
\"Oh,theusualsortofthing,\"explainedTommy。\"Hewantshalfacrownforit。\"
\"Poordevil!Lethimhaveit。\"
\"That’snotbusiness,\"growledTommy。
\"Nobodywilleverknow,\"saidPeter。\"We’llenteritas’telegrams。’\"
Thestrangercalledearlythenextday,pocketedhishalf—crown,andleftanothermanuscript——anessay。Alsoheleftbehindhimhisgold—handledumbrella,takingawaywithhiminsteadanoldalpacathingCloddkeptinreserveforexceptionallydirtyweather。Peterpronouncedtheessayusable。
\"Hehasastyle,\"saidPeter;\"hewriteswithdistinction。Makeanappointmentformewithhim。\"
Clodd,onmissinghisumbrella,wasindignant。
\"What’sthegoodofthisthingtome?\"commentedClodd。\"Sortofthingforadudeinapantomime!Thefellowmustbeablitheringass!\"
Tommygavetothestrangermessagesfrombothwhennexthecalled。
Heappearedmoregrievedthansurprisedconcerningtheumbrellas。
\"Youdon’tthinkMr。Cloddwouldliketokeepthisumbrellainexchangeforhisown?\"hesuggested。
\"Hardlyhisstyle,\"explainedTommy。
\"It’sverypeculiar,\"saidthestranger,withasmile。\"Ihavebeentryingtogetridofthisumbrellaforthelastthreeweeks。
Onceuponatime,whenIpreferredtokeepmyownumbrella,peopleusedtotakeitbymistake,leavingallkindsofshabbythingsbehindtheminexchange。Now,whenI’dreallyliketogetquitofit,nobodywillhaveit。\"
\"Whydoyouwanttogetridofit?\"askedTommy。\"Itlooksaverygoodumbrella。\"
\"Youdon’tknowhowithampersme,\"saidthestranger。\"Ihavetoliveuptoit。Itrequiresacertainamountofresolutiontoenteracheaprestaurantaccompaniedbythatumbrella。WhenIdo,thewaitersdrawmyattentiontothemostexpensivedishesandrecommendmespecialbrandsoftheirso—calledchampagne。TheyseemquitesurprisedifIonlywantachopandaglassofbeer。I
haven’talwaysgotthecouragetodisappointthem。Itisreallybecomingquiteacursetome。IfIuseittostopa’bus,threeorfourhansomsdashupandquarreloverme。Ican’tdoanythingI
wanttodo。Iwanttolivesimplyandinexpensively:itwillnotletme。\"
Tommylaughed。\"Can’tyouloseit?\"
Thestrangerlaughedalso。\"Loseit!Youhavenoideahowhonestpeopleare。Ihadn’tmyself。Thewholeworldhasgoneupinmyestimationwithinthelastfewweeks。Peoplerunaftermeforquitelongdistancesandforceitintomyhand——peopleonrainydayswhohaven’tgotumbrellasoftheirown。Itisthesamewiththishat。\"Thestrangersighedashetookitup。\"IamalwaystryingtogetOFFwithsomethingreasonablyshabbyinexchangeforit。Iamalwaysfoundoutandstopped。\"
\"Whydon’tyoupawnthem?\"suggestedthepracticableTommy。
Thestrangerregardedherwithadmiration。
\"Doyouknow,Ineverthoughtofthat,\"saidthestranger。\"Ofcourse。Whatagoodidea!Thankyousomuch。\"
Thestrangerdeparted,evidentlymuchrelieved。
\"Sillyfellow,\"musedTommy。\"Theywon’tgivehimaquarterofthevalue,andhewillsay:’Thankyousomuch,’andbequitecontented。\"ItworriedTommyagooddealthatday,thethoughtofthatstranger’shelplessness。
Thestranger’snamewasRichardDanvers。HelivedtheothersideofHolborn,inFeatherstoneBuildings,butmuchofhistimecametobespentintheofficesofGoodHumour。
Peterlikedhim。\"Fullofpromise,\"wasPeter’sopinion。\"Hiscriticismofthatarticleofmineon’TheEducationofWoman’
showedbothsenseandfeeling。Ascholarandathinker。\"
Flipp,theoffice—boy(speltPhilip),likedhim;andFlipp’sattitude,ingeneral,wascensorial。\"He’sallright,\"pronouncedFlipp;\"nothingstuck—upabouthim。He’sgotplentyofsense,lyinghiddenaway。\"
MissRamsbothamlikedhim。\"Themen——themenwethinkaboutatall,\"explainedMissRamsbotham——\"maybedividedintotwoclasses:
themenweoughttolike,butdon’t;andthementhereisnoparticularreasonforourliking,butthatwedo。PersonallyI
couldgetveryfondofyourfriendDick。Thereisnothingwhateverattractiveabouthimexcepthimself。\"
EvenTommylikedhiminherway,thoughattimesshewasseverewithhim。
\"Ifyoumeanabigstreet,\"grumbledTommy,whowasgoingoverproofs,\"whynotsayabigstreet?Whymustyoualwayscallita’mainartery’?\"
\"Iamsorry,\"apologisedDanvers。\"Itisnotmyownidea。Youtoldmetostudythehigher—classjournals。\"
\"Ididn’ttellyoutoselectandfollowalltheirfaults。Hereitisagain。Yourcrowdisalwaysa’hydra—headedmonster’;yourtea’thecupthatcheersbutnotinebriates。’\"
\"IamafraidIamadealoftroubletoyou,\"suggestedthestaff。
\"Iamafraidyouare,\"agreedthesub—editor。
\"Don’tgivemeup,\"pleadedthestaff。\"Imisunderstoodyou,thatisall。IwillwriteEnglishforthefuture。\"
\"Shallbegladifyouwill,\"growledthesub—editor。
DickDanversrose。\"Iamsoanxiousnottogetwhatyoucall’thesack’fromhere。\"
Thesub—editor,mollified,thoughtthestaffneedbeundernoapprehension,provideditshoweditselfteachable。
\"Ihavebeenratheraworthlessfellow,MissHope,\"confessedDickDanvers。\"IwasbeginningtodespairofmyselftillIcameacrossyouandyourfather。Theatmospherehere——Idon’tmeanthematerialatmosphereofCraneCourt——issoinvigorating:itssimplicity,itssincerity。Iusedtohaveideals。Itriedtostiflethem。Thereisasetthatsneersatallthatsortofthing。
NowIseethattheyaregood。Youwillhelpme?\"
Everywomanisamother。Tommyfeltforthemomentthatshewantedtotakethisbigboyonherkneeandtalktohimforhisgood。Hewasonlyanovergrownlad。Butsoexceedinglyovergrown!Tommyhadtocontentherselfwithholdingoutherhand。DickDanversgraspedittightly。
Cloddwastheonlyonewhodidnotapproveofhim。
\"Howdidyougetholdofhim?\"askedCloddoneafternoon,heandPeteraloneintheoffice。
\"Hecame。Hecameintheusualway,\"explainedPeter。
\"Whatdoyouknowabouthim?\"
\"Nothing。Whatistheretoknow?Onedoesn’taskforacharacterwithajournalist。\"
\"No,Isupposethatwouldn’twork。Foundoutanythingabouthimsince?\"
\"Nothingagainsthim。Whysosuspiciousofeverybody?\"
\"Becauseyouarejustawoollylambandwantadogtolookafteryou。Whoishe?Onafirstnighthegivesawayhisstallandsneaksintothepit。Whenyousendhimtoapicture—gallery,hedodgestheprivateviewandgoesonthefirstshillingday。Ifaninvitationcomestoapublicdinner,heasksmetogoandeatitforhimandtellhimwhatit’sallabout。Thatdoesn’tsuggestthefrankandhonestjournalist,doesit?\"
\"Itisunusual,itcertainlyisunusual,\"Peterwasboundtoadmit。
\"Idistrusttheman,\"saidClodd。\"He’snotourclass。Whatishedoinghere?\"
\"Iwillaskhim,Clodd;Iwillaskhimstraightout。\"
\"Andbelievewhateverhetellsyou。\"
\"No,Ishan’t。\"
\"Thenwhat’sthegoodofaskinghim?\"
\"Well,whatamItodo?\"demandedthebewilderedPeter。
\"Getridofhim,\"suggestedClodd。
\"Getridofhim?\"
\"Gethimaway!Don’thavehiminandoutoftheofficealldaylong—lookingatherwiththosecollie—dogeyesofhis,arguingartandpoetrywithherinthatcushat—dovevoiceofhis。Gethimcleanaway——ifitisn’ttoolatealready。\"
\"Nonsense,\"saidPeter,whohadturnedwhite,however。\"She’snotthatsortofgirl。\"
\"Notthatsortofgirl!\"CloddhadnopatiencewithPeterHope,andtoldhimso。\"Whyarethereneverinkstainsonherfingersnow?Thereusedtobe。Whydoesshealwayskeepalemoninherdrawer?Whendidshelasthaveherhaircut?I’lltellyouifyoucaretoknow——theweekbeforehecame,fivemonthsago。Sheusedtohaveitcutonceafortnight:saidittickledherneck。WhydoesshejumponpeoplewhentheycallherTommyandtellthemthathernameisJane?ItneverusedtobeJane。Maybewhenyou’reabitolderyou’llbegintonoticethingsforyourself。\"
Cloddjammedhishatonhisheadandflunghimselfdownthestairs。
Peter,slippingoutaminutelater,boughthimselfanounceofsnuff。
\"Fiddle—de—dee!\"saidPeterashehelpedhimselftohisthirteenthpinch。\"Don’tbelieveit。I’llsoundher。Ishan’tsayaword——
I’lljustsoundher。\"
Peterstoodwithhisbacktothefire。Tommysatatherdesk,correctingproofsofafancifulstory:TheManWithoutaPast。
\"Ishallmisshim,\"saidPeter;\"IknowIshall。\"
\"Misswhom?\"demandedTommy。
\"Danvers,\"sighedPeter。\"Italwayshappensso。Yougetfriendlywithaman;thenhegoesaway——abroad,backtoAmerica,Lordknowswhere。Youneverseehimagain。\"
Tommylookedup。Therewastroubleinherface。
\"Howdoyouspell’harassed’?\"questionedTommy!\"twor’sorone。\"
\"Oner,\"Peterinformedher,\"twos’s。\"
\"Ithoughtso。\"ThetroublepassedfromTommy’sface。
\"Youdon’taskwhenhe’sgoing,youdon’taskwherehe’sgoing,\"
complainedPeter。\"Youdon’tseemtobeinterestedintheleast。\"
\"Iwasgoingtoask,sosoonasIhadfinishedcorrectingthissheet,\"explainedTommy。\"Whatreasondoeshegive?\"
Peterhadcrossedoverandwasstandingwherehecouldseeherfaceilluminedbythelamplight。
\"Itdoesn’tupsetyou——thethoughtofhisgoingaway,ofyourneverseeinghimagain?\"
\"Whyshouldit?\"Tommyansweredhissearchinggazewithaslightlypuzzledlook。\"Ofcourse,I’msorry。Hewasbecominguseful。Butwecouldn’texpecthimtostopwithusalways,couldwe?\"
Peter,rubbinghishands,brokeintoachuckle。\"Itoldhim’twasallfiddlesticks。Clodd,hewouldhaveityouweregrowingtocareforthefellow。\"
\"ForDickDanvers?\"Tommylaughed。\"Whateverputthatintohishead?\"
\"Oh,well,therewereoneortwolittlethingsthatwehadnoticed。\"
\"We?\"
\"ImeanthatCloddhadnoticed。\"
I’mgladitwasCloddthatnoticedthem,notyou,dad,thoughtTommytoherself。They’dhavebeenprettyobviousifyouhadnoticedthem。
\"Itnaturallymademeanxious,\"confessedPeter。\"Yousee,weknowabsolutelynothingofthefellow。\"
\"Absolutelynothing,\"agreedTommy。
\"Hemaybeamanofthehighestintegrity。Personally,Ithinkheis。Ilikehim。Ontheotherhand,hemaybeathorough—pacedscoundrel。Idon’tbelieveforamomentthatheis,buthemaybe。
Impossibletosay。\"
\"Quiteimpossible,\"agreedTommy。
\"Consideredmerelyasajournalist,itdoesn’tmatter。Hewriteswell。Hehasbrains。There’sanendofit。\"
\"Heisverypainstaking,\"agreedTommy。
\"Personally,\"addedPeter,\"Ilikethefellow。\"Tommyhadreturnedtoherwork。
OfwhatusewasPeterinacrisisofthiskind?Petercouldn’tscold。Petercouldn’tbully。TheonlypersontotalktoTommyasTommyknewsheneededtobetalkedtowasoneJane,ayoungwomanofdignitywithsenseoftheproprieties。
\"Idohopethatatleastyouarefeelingashamedofyourself,\"
remarkedJanetoTommythatsamenight,asthetwainsattogetherintheirlittlebedroom。
\"Donenothingtobeashamedof,\"growledTommy。
\"Makingafoolofyourselfopenly,foreverybodytonotice。\"
\"Cloddain’teverybody。He’sgoteyesatthebackofhishead。
Seesthingsbeforetheyhappen。\"
\"Where’syourwoman’spride:fallinginlovewithamanwhohasneverspokentoyou,exceptintermsofthemostordinarycourtesy。\"
\"I’mnotinlovewithhim。\"
\"Amanaboutwhomyouknowabsolutelynothing。\"
\"Notinlovewithhim。\"
\"Wheredoeshecomefrom?Whoishe?\"
\"Idon’tknow,don’tcare;nothingtodowithme。\"
\"Justbecauseofhissofteyes,andhiswheedlingvoice,andthathalf—caressing,half—devotionalmannerofhis。Doyouimaginehekeepsitspeciallyforyou?Igaveyoucreditformoresense。\"
\"I’mnotinlovewithhim,Itellyou。He’sdownonhisluck,andI’msorryforhim,that’sall。\"
\"Andifheis,whosefaultwasit,doyouthink?\"
\"Itdoesn’tmatter。Wearenoneofussaints。He’stryingtopullhimselftogether,andIrespecthimforit。It’sourdutytobecharitableandkindtooneanotherinthisworld!\"
\"Oh,well,I’lltellyouhowyoucanbekindtohim:bypointingouttohimthatheiswastinghistime。Withhistalents,nowthatheknowshisbusiness,hecouldbeonthestaffofsomebigpaper,earningagoodincome。Putitnicelytohim,butbefirm。Insistonhisgoing。Thatwillbeshowingtruekindnesstohim——andtoyourself,too,I’mthinking,mydear。\"
AndTommyunderstoodandappreciatedthesoundgoodsenseunderlyingJane’sadvice,andtheverynextdaybutone,seizingthefirstopportunity,acteduponit;andallwouldhavegoneascontemplatedifonlyDickDanvershadsatstillandlistened,asithadbeenarrangedinTommy’sprogrammethatheshould。
\"ButIdon’twanttogo,\"saidDick。
\"Butyououghttowanttogo。Stayingherewithusyouaredoingyourselfnogood。\"
Heroseandcametowhereshestoodwithonefootuponthefender,lookingdownintothefire。Hisdoingthisdisconcertedher。Solongasheremainedseatedattheotherendoftheroom,shewasthesub—editor,counsellingthestaffforitsowngood。Nowthatshecouldnotraisehereyeswithoutencounteringhis,shefeltpainfullyconsciousofbeingnothingmoreimportantthanalittlewomanwhowastrembling。
\"Itisdoingmeallthegoodintheworld,\"hetoldher,\"beingneartoyou。\"
\"Oh,pleasedositdownagain,\"sheurgedhim。\"Icantalktoyousomuchbetterwhenyou’resittingdown。\"
Buthewouldnotdoanythingheshouldhavedonethatday。Insteadhetookherhandsinhis,andwouldnotletthemgo;andthereasonandthewillwentoutofher,leavingherhelpless。
\"Letmebewithyoualways,\"hepleaded。\"Itmeansthedifferencebetweenlightanddarknesstome。Youhavedonesomuchforme。
Willyounotfinishyourwork?Willyounottrustme?Itisnohotpassionthatcanpassaway,myloveforyou。Itspringsfromallthatisbestinme——fromthepartofmethatiswholesomeandjoyousandstrong,thepartofmethatbelongstoyou。\"
Releasingher,heturnedaway。
\"Theotherpartofme——theblackguard——itisdead,dear,——deadandburied。IdidnotknowIwasablackguard,Ithoughtmyselfafinefellow,tillonedayitcamehometome。SuddenlyIsawmyselfasIreallywas。AndthesightofthethingfrightenedmeandIranawayfromit。IsaidtomyselfIwouldbeginlifeafresh,inanewcountry,freeofeverytiethatcouldbindmetothepast。Itwouldmeanpoverty——privation,maybe,inthebeginning。Whatofthat?Thestrugglewouldbraceme。Itwouldbegoodsport。Ah,well,youcanguesstheresult:theawakeningtothecoldfacts,thereactionoffeeling。InwhatwaywasIworsethanothermen?
WhowasI,toplaythepriginaworldwhereotherswerelaughinganddining?Ihadtrampedyourcitytillmybootswerewornintoholes。Ihadbuttoabandonmyquixoticideals——returntowhereshamelaywaitingforme,tobewelcomedwiththefattedcalf。ItwouldhaveendedsohadInotchancedtopassbyyourdoorthatafternoonandhearyoustrummingonthepiano。\"
SoBillywasright,afterall,thoughtTommytoherself,thepianodoeshelp。
\"Itwassoincongruous——apianoinCraneCourt——Ilookedtoseewherethenoisecamefrom。Ireadthenameofthepaperonthedoorpost。’Itwillbemylastchance,’Isaidtomyself。’Thisshalldecideit。’\"
Hecamebacktoher。Shehadnotmoved。\"Iamnotafraidtotellyouallthis。Youaresobig—hearted,sohuman;youwillunderstand,youcanforgive。Itisallpast。Lovingyoutellsamanthathehasdonewithevil。Willyounottrustme?\"
Sheputherhandsinhis。\"Iamtrustingyou,\"shesaid,\"withallmylife。Don’tmakeamuddleofit,dear,ifyoucanhelpit。\"
Itwasanoddwooing,asTommylaughinglytoldherselfwhenshecametothinkitoverinherroomthatnight。Butthatishowitshapeditself。
WhattroubledhermostwasthathehadnotbeenquitefrankwithPeter,sothatPeterhadtodefendheragainstherself。
\"Iattackedyousosuddenly,\"explainedPeter,\"youhadnottimetothink。Youactedfrominstinct。Awomanseekstohideherloveevenfromherself。\"
\"Iexpect,afterall,Iammoreofagirlthanaboy,\"fearedTommy:\"Iseemtohavesomanywomanishfailings。\"
Petertookhimselfintoquiteplacesandtrainedhimselftofacethefactthatanotherwouldbemoretoherthanhehadeverbeen,andCloddwentabouthisworklikeabearwithasorehead;buttheyneitherofthemneedhavetroubledthemselvessomuch。Themarriagedidnottakeplacetillnearlyfifteenyearshadpassedaway,andmuchwaterhadtoflowbeneatholdLondonBridgebeforethatday。
Thepastisnoteasilygotridof。Atalewasoncewrittenofawomanwhokilledherbabeandburieditinalonelywood,andlaterstolebackinthenightandsawthere,whiteinthemoonlight,achild’shandcallingthroughtheearth,andburieditagainandyetagain;butalwaysthatwhitebabyhandcalledupwardsthroughtheearth,trampleitdownasshewould。Tommyreadthestoryoneeveninginanoldmiscellany,andsatlongbeforethedeadfire,thebookopenonherlap,andshivered;fornowsheknewthefearthathadbeenhauntingher。
Tommylivedexpectingher。ShecameonenightwhenTommywasalone,workinglateintheoffice。Tommyknewherthemomentsheenteredthedoor,ahandsomewoman,withsnake—like,rustlingskirts。Sheclosedthedoorbehindher,anddrawingforwardachair,seatedherselftheothersideofthedesk,andthetwolookedlongandanxiouslyatoneanother。
\"TheytoldmeIshouldfindyouherealone,\"saidthewoman。\"Itisbetter,isitnot?\"
\"Yes,\"saidTommy,\"itisbetter。\"
\"Tellme,\"saidthewoman,\"areyouverymuchinlovewithhim?\"
\"WhyshouldItellyou?\"
\"Because,ifnot——ifyouhavemerelyacceptedhimthinkinghimagoodcatch——whichheisn’t,mydear;hasn’tapennytoblesshimselfwith,andneverwillifhemarriesyou——why,thenthematterissoonsettled。Theytellmeyouareabusiness—likeyounglady,andIampreparedtomakeabusiness—likeproposition。\"
Therewasnoanswer。Thewomanshruggedhershoulders。
\"If,ontheotherhand,youarethatabsurdcreature,ayounggirlinlove——why,then,Isupposeweshallhavetofightforhim。\"
\"Itwouldbemoresporting,woulditnot?\"suggestedTommy。
\"Letmeexplainbeforeyoudecide,\"continuedthewoman。\"DickDanversleftmesixmonthsago,andhaskeptfrommeeversince,becausehelovedme。\"
\"Itsoundsacuriousreason。\"
\"IwasamarriedwomanwhenDickDanversandIfirstmet。Sinceheleftme——formysakeandhisown——Ihavereceivedinformationofmyhusband’sdeath。\"
\"AnddoesDick——doesheknow?\"askedthegirl。
\"Notyet。Ihaveonlylatelylearntthenewsmyself。\"
\"Thenifitisasyousay,whenheknowshewillgobacktoyou。\"
\"Therearedifficultiesintheway。\"
\"Whatdifficulties?\"
\"Mydear,this。Totryandforgetme,hehasbeenmakinglovetoyou。Mendothesethings。Imerelyaskyoutoconvinceyourselfofthetruth。Goawayforsixmonths——disappearentirely。Leavehimfree——uninfluenced。Ifhelovesyou——ifitbenotmerelyasenseofhonourthatbindshim——youwillfindhimhereonyourreturn。Ifnot——ifintheintervalIhavesucceededinrunningoffwithhim,well,isnotthetwoorthreethousandpoundsIampreparedtoputintothispaperofyoursafairpriceforsuchalover?\"
Tommyrosewithalaughofgenuineamusement。Shecouldneveraltogetherputasidehersenseofhumour,letFatecomewithwhatterrifyingfaceitwould。
\"Youmayhavehimfornothing——ifheisthatman,\"thegirltoldher;\"heshallbefreetochoosebetweenus。\"
\"Youmeanyouwillreleasehimfromhisengagement?\"
\"ThatiswhatImean。\"
\"Whynottakemyoffer?Youknowthemoneyisneeded。Itwillsaveyourfatheryearsofanxietyandstruggle。Goaway——travel,foracoupleofmonths,ifyou’reafraidofthesix。Writehimthatyoumustbealone,tothinkthingsover。\"
Thegirlturneduponher。
\"Andleaveyouafreefieldtolieandtrick?\"
Thewoman,too,hadrisen。\"Doyouthinkhereallycaresforyou?
Atthemomentyouinteresthim。Atnineteeneverywomanisamystery。Whenthemoodispast——anddoyouknowhowlongaman’smoodlasts,youpoorchit?Tillhehascaughtwhatheisrunningafter,andhastastedit——thenhewillthinknotofwhathehaswon,butofwhathehaslost:ofthesocietyfromwhichhehascuthimselfadrift;ofalltheoldpleasuresandpursuitshecannolongerenjoy;oftheluxuries——necessitiestoamanofhisstamp——
thatmarriagewithyouhasdeprivedhimof。Thenyourfacewillbeaperpetualremindertohimofwhathehaspaidforit,andhewillcurseiteverytimeheseesit。\"
\"Youdon’tknowhim,\"thegirlcried。\"Youknowjustapartofhim——thepartyouwouldknow。Alltherestofhimisagoodman,thatwouldratherhisself—respectthanalltheluxuriesyoumention——youincluded。\"
\"Itseemstoresolveitselfintowhatmannerofmanheis,\"laughedthewoman。
Thegirllookedatherwatch。\"Hewillbehereshortly;heshalltellushimself。\"
\"Howdoyoumean?\"
\"Thathere,betweenthetwoofus,heshalldecide——thisverynight。\"Sheshowedherwhitefacetothewoman。\"DoyouthinkI
couldlivethroughaseconddayliketothis?\"
\"Thescenewouldberidiculous。\"
\"Therewillbenoneheretoenjoythehumourofit。\"
\"Hewillnotunderstand。\"
\"Oh,yes,hewill,\"thegirllaughed。\"Come,youhavealltheadvantages;youarerich,youareclever;youbelongtohisclass。
Ifheelectstostopwithme,itwillbebecauseheismyman——
mine。Areyouafraid?\"
Thewomanshivered。Shewrappedherfurcloakabouthercloserandsatdownagain,andTommyreturnedtoherproofs。Itwaspress—
night,andtherewasmuchtobedone。
Hecamealittlelater,thoughhowlongthetimemayhaveseemedtothetwowomenonecannotsay。Theyheardhisfootsteponthestair。Thewomanroseandwentforward,sothatwhenheopenedthedoorshewasthefirsthesaw。Buthemadenosign。Possiblyhehadbeenschoolinghimselfforthismoment,knowingthatsoonerorlateritmustcome。Thewomanheldoutherhandtohimwithasmile。
\"Ihavenotthehonour,\"hesaid。
Thesmilediedfromherface。\"Idonotunderstand,\"shesaid。
\"Ihavenotthehonour,\"herepeated。\"Idonotknowyou。\"
Thegirlwasleaningwithherbackagainstthedeskinasomewhatmannishattitude。Hestoodbetweenthem。ItwillalwaysremainLife’schiefcomicsuccess:themanbetweentwowomen。Thesituationhasamusedtheworldforsomanyyears。Yet,somehow,hecontrivedtomaintainacertaindignity。
\"Maybe,\"hecontinued,\"youareconfoundingmewithaDickDanverswholivedinNewYorkuptoafewmonthsago。Iknewhimwell——aworthlessscampyouhaddonebetternevertohavemet。\"
\"Youbearawonderfulresemblancetohim,\"laughedthewoman。
\"Thepoorfoolisdead,\"heanswered。\"Andheleftforyou,mydearlady,thisdyingmessage:that,fromthebottomofhissoul,hewassorryforthewronghehaddoneyou。Heaskedyoutoforgivehim——andforgethim。\"
\"Theyearappearstobeopeningunfortunatelyforme,\"saidthewoman。\"Firstmylover,thenmyhusband。\"
Hehadnervedhimselftofighttheliving。Thiswasablowfromthedead。Themanhadbeenhisfriend。
\"Dead?\"
\"Hewaskilled,itappears,inthatlastexpeditioninJuly,\"
answeredthewoman。\"IreceivedthenewsfromtheForeignOfficeonlyafortnightago。\"
Anuglylookcameintohiseyes——thelookofacorneredcreaturefightingforitslife。\"Whyhaveyoufollowedmehere?WhydoI
findyouherealonewithher?Whathaveyoutoldher?\"
Thewomanshruggedhershoulders。\"Onlythetruth。\"
\"Allthetruth?\"hedemanded——\"all?Ah!bejust。Tellheritwasnotallmyfault。Tellherallthetruth。\"
\"Whatwouldyouhavemetellher?ThatIplayedPotiphar’swifetoyourJoseph?\"
\"Ah,no!Thetruth——onlythetruth。ThatyouandIwereapairofidlefoolswiththedevildancingroundus。Thatweplayedafool’sgame,andthatitisover。\"
\"Isitover?Dick,isitover?\"Sheflungherarmstowardshim;
buthethrewherfromhimalmostbrutally。\"Themanisdead,I
tellyou。Hisfollyandhissinliedeadwithhim。Ihavenothingtodowithyou,noryouwithme。\"
\"Dick!\"shewhispered。\"Dick,cannotyouunderstand?Imustspeakwithyoualone。\"
Buttheydidnotunderstand,neitherthemannorthechild。
\"Dick,areyoureallydead?\"shecried。\"Haveyounopityforme?
DoyouthinkthatIhavefollowedyouheretogrovelatyourfeetformerewhim?AmIactinglikeawomansaneandsound?Don’tyouseethatIammad,andwhyIammad?MustItellyoubeforeher?
Dick——\"Shestaggeredtowardshim,andthefinecloakslippedfromhershoulders;andthenitwasthatTommychangedfromachildintoawoman,andraisedtheotherwomanfromthegroundwithcrooningwordsofencouragementsuchasmothersuse,andledhertotheinnerroom。\"Donotgo,\"shesaid,turningtoDick;\"Ishallbebackinafewminutes。\"
HecrossedtooneofthewindowsagainstwhichbeattheCity’sroar,anditseemedtohimasthethrobofpassingfootstepsbeatingdownthroughthedarknesstowherehelayinhisgrave。
Shere—entered,closingthedoorsoftlybehindher。\"Itistrue?\"
sheasked。
\"Itcanbe。Ihadnotthoughtofit。\"
Theyspokeinlow,matter—of—facttones,aspeopledowhohavegrownwearyoftheirownemotions。
\"Whendidhegoaway——herhusband?\"
\"About——itisFebruarynow,isitnot?Abouteighteenmonthsago。\"
\"Anddiedjusteightmonthsago。Ratherconveniently,poorfellow。\"
\"Yes,I’mgladheisdead——poorLawrence。\"
\"Whatistheshortesttimeinwhichamarriagecanbearranged?\"
\"Idonotknow,\"heansweredlistlessly。\"Idonotintendtomarryher。\"
\"Youwouldleavehertobearitalone?\"
\"Itisnotasifshewereapoorwoman。Youcandoanythingwithmoney。\"
\"Itwillnotmendreputation。Herpositioninsocietyiseverythingtothatclassofwoman。\"
\"Mymarryinghernow,\"hepointedout,\"wouldnotsaveher。\"
\"Practicallyspeakingitwould,\"thegirlpleaded。\"Theworlddoesnotgooutofitswaytofindoutthingsitdoesnotwanttoknow。
Marryherasquietlyaspossibleandtravelforayearortwo。\"
\"WhyshouldI?Ah!itiseasyenoughtocallamanacowardfordefendinghimselfagainstawoman。Whatishetodowhenheisfightingforhislife?Mendonotsinwithgoodwomen。\"
\"Thereisthechildtobeconsidered,\"sheurged——\"yourchild。Yousee,dear,wealldowrongsometimes。Wemustnotletotherssufferforourfaultmore——morethanwecanhelp。\"
Heturnedtoherforthefirsttime。\"Andyou?\"
\"I?Oh,Ishallcryforalittlewhile,butlateronIshalllaugh,asoften。Lifeisnotalllove。Ihavemywork。\"
Heknewherwellbythistime。Andalsoitcametohimthatitwouldbeafinerthingtobeworthyofherthaneventopossessher。
Sohedidherbiddingandwentoutwiththeotherwoman。Tommywasgladitwaspress—night。Shewouldnotbeabletothinkforhourstocome,andthen,perhaps,shewouldbefeelingtootired。Workcanbeverykind。
Werethisanartisticstory,here,ofcourse,onewouldwrite\"Finis。\"Butintheworkadayworldoneneverknowstheendingtillitcomes。Haditbeenotherwise,IdoubtIcouldhavefoundcouragetotellyouthisstoryofTommy。Itisnotalltrue——atleast,Idonotsupposeso。Onedriftsunconsciouslyalittlewayintodream—landwhenonesitsoneselfdowntorecallthehappeningsoflongago;whileFancy,withaslywink,whisperseverandagaintoMemory:\"Letmetellthisincident——picturethatscene:Icanmakeitsomuchmoreinterestingthanyouwould。\"ButTommy——howcanIputitwithoutsayingtoomuch:thereissomeoneIthinkofwhenIspeakofher?Torememberonlyherdearwounds,andnotthehealingofthem,wouldhavebeenatasktoopainful。Ilovetodwellontheirnextmeeting。Flipp,passinghimonthesteps,didnotknowhim,thetall,sunburntgentlemanwiththesweet,grave—
facedlittlegirl。
\"Seenthatfacesomewherebefore,\"musedFlipp,asatthecornerofBedfordStreetheclimbedintoahansom,\"seenitsomewhereonathinnerman。\"
ForDickDanvers,thathedidnotrecogniseFlipp,therewasmoreexcuse。AveryoldyoungmanhadFlippbecomeatthirty。Flippnolongerenjoyedpopularjournalism。Heproducedit。
Thegold—bounddoorkeeperfearedthemightyCloddwouldbeunabletoseesoinsignificantanatomasanunappointedstranger,butwouldletthecardofMr。RichardDanverspleadforitself。Tothegold—boundkeeper’ssurprisecamedownthemessagethatMr。Danverswastobeatonceshownup。
\"Ithought,somehow,youwouldcometomefirst,\"saidtheportlyClodd,advancingwithout—stretchedhand。\"Andthisis——?\"
\"Mylittlegirl,Honor。Wehavebeentravellingforthelastfewmonths。\"
Cloddtookthegrave,smallfacebetweenhisbig,roughhands:
\"Yes。Sheislikeyou。Butlooksasifsheweregoingtohavemoresense。Forgiveme,Iknewyourfathermydear,\"laughedClodd;\"whenhewasyounger。\"
Theylittheircigarsandtalked。
\"Well,notexactlydead;weamalgamatedit,\"winkedCloddinanswertoDanvers’inquiry。\"ItwasjustatrifleTOOhigh—class。
Besides,theoldgentlemanwasnotgettingyounger。Ithurthimalittleatfirst。ButthencameTommy’sgreatsuccess,andthathasreconciledhimtoallthings。DotheyknowyouareinEngland?\"
\"No,\"explainedDanvers;\"wearrivedonlylastnight。\"
Cloddcalleddirectionsdownthespeaking—tube。
\"Youwillfindhardlyanychangeinher。Onestillhastokeepone’seyeuponherchin。Shehasnotevenlostheroldhabitoftakingstockofpeople。Youremember。\"Cloddlaughed。
Theytalkedalittlelonger,tilltherecameawhistle,andCloddputhiseartothetube。
\"Ihavetoseeheronbusiness,\"saidClodd,rising;\"youmayaswellcomewithme。Theyarestillintheoldplace,GoughSquare。\"
Tommywasout,butPeterwasexpectinghereveryminute。
PeterdidnotknowDick,butwouldnotadmitit。Forgetfulnesswasasignofage,andPeterstillfeltyoung。
\"Iknowyourfacequitewell,\"saidPeter;\"can’tputanametoit,that’sall。\"
Cloddwhisperedittohim,togetherwithinformationbringinghistoryuptodate。Andthenlightfellupontheoldlinedface。
HecametowardsDick,meaningtotakehimbybothhands,but,perhapsbecausehehadbecomesomewhatfeeble,heseemedgladwhentheyoungermanputhisarmsaroundhimandheldhimforamoment。
Itwasun—English,andbothofthemfeltalittleashamedofthemselvesafterwards。
\"Whatwewant,\"saidClodd,addressingPeter,\"wethree——you,I,andMissDanvers——isteaandcakes,withcreaminthem;andIknowashopwheretheysellthem。Wewillcallbackforyourfatherinhalfanhour。\"CloddexplainedtoMissDanvers;\"hehastotalkoveramatterofbusinesswithMissHope。\"
\"Iknow,\"answeredthegrave—facedlittleperson。ShedrewDick’sfacedowntohersandkissedit。Andthenthethreewentouttogether,leavingDickstandingbythewindow。
\"Couldn’twehidesomewheretillshecomes?\"suggestedMissDanvers。\"Iwanttoseeher。\"
Sotheywaitedintheopendoorwayofanearprinting—housetillTommydroveup。BothPeterandCloddwatchedthechild’sfacewithsomeanxiety。Shenoddedgravelytoherselfthreetimes,thenslippedherhandintoPeter’s。
Tommyopenedthedoorwithherlatchkeyandpassedin。