第3章

Threesecondslaterhediscoveredthatitwasastringentandtrustworthyemeticthathehadswallowed。Hisaudiencehadmistakenhissignsofgratitudeforeffortsonhisparttoexplaintothemthathewaspoisoned,or,atallevents,wassufferingfromacuteandagonisingindigestion,andhaddonewhattheycouldtocomforthim。

Thedrugthattheyhadgivenhimwasnotoneofthosecommon,cheapmedicinesthatlosetheireffectbeforetheyhavebeeninthesystemhalf-an-hour。Hefeltthatitwouldbeuselesstobeginanothersupperthen,evenifhecouldgetone,andsohewenttobedagooddealhungrierandagooddeallessrefreshedthanwhenhearrivedattheinn。

Gratitudeisundoubtedlyathingthatshouldnotbeattemptedbytheamateurpantomimist。

\"Savoury\"isanother。B。andIverynearlydidourselvesaseriousinternalinjury,tryingtoexpressit。Weslavedlikecab-horsesatit——foraboutfiveminutes,andsucceededinconveyingtothemindofthewaiterthatwewantedtohaveagameatdominoes。

Then,likeabeamofsunlighttoamanlostinsomedark,windingcave,cametomethereflectionthatIhadinmypocketaGermanconversationbook。

Howstupidofmenottohavethoughtofitbefore。Herehadwebeenrackingourbrainsandourbodies,tryingtoexplainourwantstoanuneducatedGerman,while,allthetime,therelaytoourhandsabookspeciallywrittenandpreparedtoassistpeopleoutoftheverydifficultyintowhichwehadfallen——abookcarefullycompiledwiththeexpressobjectofenablingEnglishtravellerswho,likeourselves,onlyspokeGermaninadilettantefashion,tomaketheirmodestrequirementsknownthroughouttheFatherland,andtogetoutofthecountryaliveanduninjured。

Ihastilysnatchedthebookfrommypocket,andcommencedtosearchfordialoguesdealingwiththegreatfoodquestion。Therewerenone!

Therewerelengthyandpassionate\"Conversationswithalaundress\"

aboutarticlesthatIblushtoremember。Sometwentypagesofthevolumeweredevotedtosillydialoguesbetweenanextraordinarilypatientshoemakerandoneofthemostirritatingandconstitutionallydissatisfiedcustomersthatanunfortunateshop-

keepercouldpossiblybecursedwith;acustomerwho,aftertwaddlingforaboutfortyminutes,andtryingon,apparently,everypairofbootsintheplace,calmlywalksoutwith:

\"Ah!well,Ishallnotpurchaseanythingto-day。Good-morning!\"

Theshopkeeper’sreply,by-the-by,isnotgiven。Itprobablytooktheformofaboot-jack,accompaniedbyphrasesdeemeduselessforthepurposesoftheChristiantourist。

Therewasreallysomethingremarkableabouttheexhaustivenessofthis\"conversationattheshoemaker’s。\"Ishouldthinkthebookmusthavebeenwrittenbysomeonewhosufferedfromcorns。IcouldhavegonetoaGermanshoemakerwiththisbookandhavetalkedtheman’sheadoff。

Thenthereweretwopagesofwaterychatter\"onmeetingafriendinthestreet\"——\"Good-morning,sir(ormadam)。\"\"IwishyouamerryChristmas。\"\"Howisyourmother?\"AsifamanwhohardlyknewenoughGermantokeepbodyandsoultogether,wouldwanttogoaboutaskingafterthehealthofaforeignperson’smother。

Therewerealso\"conversationsintherailwaycarriage,\"

conversationsbetweentravellinglunatics,apparently,anddialogues\"duringthepassage。\"\"Howdoyoufeelnow?\"\"Prettywellasyet;

butIcannotsayhowlongitwilllast。\"\"Oh,whatwaves!Inowfeelveryunwellandshallgobelow。Askforabasinforme。\"

ImagineapersonwhofeltlikethatwantingtoknowtheGermanforit。

AttheendofthebookwereGermanproverbsand\"IdiomaticPhrases,\"

bywhichlatterwouldappeartobemeantinalllanguages,\"phrasesfortheuseofidiots\":——\"Asparrowinthehandisbetterthanapigeonontheroof。\"——\"Timebringsroses。\"——\"Theeagledoesnotcatchflies。\"——\"Oneshouldnotbuyacatinasack,\"——asiftherewerealargeclassofconsumerswhohabituallydidpurchasetheircatsinthatway,thusenablingunscrupulousdealerstopalmoffuponthemaninferiorcat,andwhomitwasaccordinglynecessarytoadviseagainstthecustom。

Iskimmedthroughallthisnonsense,butnotawordcouldIdiscoveranywhereaboutasavouryomelette。Undertheheadof\"EatingandDrinking,\"Ifoundashortvocabulary;butitwasmainlyconcernedwith\"raspberries\"and\"figs\"and\"medlars\"(whatevertheymaybe;I

neverheardofthemmyself),and\"chestnuts,\"andsuchlikethingsthatamanhardlyeverwants,evenwhenheisinhisowncountry。

Therewasplentyofoilandvinegar,andpepperandsaltandmustardinthelist,butnothingtoputthemon。Icouldhavehadahard-

boiledegg,orasliceofham;butIdidnotwantahard-boiledegg,orasliceofham。Iwantedasavouryomelette;andthatwasanarticleofdietthattheauthorsofthis\"HandyLittleGuide,\"astheytermeditintheirpreface,hadevidentlyneverheardof。

Sincemyreturnhome,Ihave,outofcuriosity,obtainedthreeorfour\"English-GermanDialogues\"and\"ConversationBooks,\"intendedtoassisttheEnglishtravellerinhiseffortstomakehimselfunderstoodbytheGermanpeople,andIhavecometotheconclusionthattheworkItookoutwithmewasthemostsensibleandpracticalofthelot。

Findingitutterlyhopelesstoexplainourselvestothewaiter,weletthethinggo,andtrustedtoProvidence;andinabouttenminutesthemanbroughtusasteamingomelette,withaboutapoundofstrawberryjaminside,andpowderedsugarallovertheoutside。

Weputadealofpepperandsaltonittotryandcounteracttheflavourofthesweets,butwedidnotreallyenjoyiteventhen。

Afterbreakfastwegotatime-table,andlookedoutforatraintoOber-Ammergau。Ifoundonewhichstartedat3。10。Itseemedaverynicetrainindeed;itdidnotstopanywhere。Therailwayauthoritiesthemselveswereevidentlyveryproudofit,andhadprintedparticularsofitinextrathicktype。Wedecidedtopatroniseit。

Topassawaythetime,westrolledaboutthecity。Munichisafine,handsome,opentown,fullofnoblestreetsandsplendidbuildings;butinspiteofthisandofitshundredandseventythousandinhabitants,anatmosphereofquietandprovincialismhoversoverit。Thereisbutlittletrafficonordinaryoccasionsalongitsbroadways,andcustomersinitswell-stockedshopsarefewandfarbetween。ThisdaybeingSunday,itwasbusierthanusual,anditspromenadeswerethrongedwithcitizensandcountryfolkinholidayattire,amongwhomtheSouthernpeasants,wearingtheirquaint,centuries-oldcostume,stoodoutinpicturesquerelief。Fashion,initsworld-widecrusadeagainstvarietyanditsbittercontestwithformandcolour,hasrecoiled,defeatedforthepresentfromthemountainfastnessesofBavaria。Still,asSundayorgala-daycomesround,thebroad-shouldered,sunburntshepherdoftheOberlanddonshisgaygreen-embroideredjacketoverhissnowyshirt,fastenshisshortknee-breecheswithagirdleroundhiswaist,clapshishigh,feather-crownedhatuponhiswavingcurls,andwithbarelegs,shodinmightyboots,stridesoverthehill-

sidestohisGretchen’sdoor。

Sheiswaitingforhim,youmaybesure,readydressed;andaverysweet,old-worldpictureshemakes,standingbeneaththegreatoverhanginggablesofthewoodenchalet。She,too,favoursthenationalgreen;but,asrelief,thereisnolackofbonnyredribbons,toflutterinthewind,and,underneaththeornamentedskirt,peepsoutabright-huedpetticoat。Aroundheramplebreastshewearsadarktight-fittingbodice,laceddownthefront。(I

thinkthisgarmentiscalledastomacher,butIamnotsure,asI

haveneverlikedtoask。)Hersquareshouldersarecoveredwiththewhitestofwhitelinen。Hersleevesarealsowhite;andbeingveryfull,andofsomesoftlawnlikematerial,suggesttheideaoffoldedwings。Uponherflaxenhairisperchedasaucyroundgreenhat。

Thebucklesofherdaintyshoes,thebigeyesinherprettyface,areallfourverybright。OnefeelsonewouldlikemuchtochangeplacesforthedaywithHans。

Arm-in-arm,lookinglikesomechina,butexceedinglysubstantialchina,shepherdandshepherdess,theydescenduponthetown。Onerubsone’seyesandstaresafterthemastheypass。Theyseemtohavesteppedfromthepicturedpagesofoneofthoseoldstory-booksthatwelearnttolove,sittingbesidethehighbrassguardthatkeptourselvesandthenursery-firefromdoingeachotheranyseriousinjury,inthedayswhentheworldwasmuchbiggerthanitisnow,andmuchmorerealandinteresting。

MunichandthecountryroundaboutitmakeagreatexchangeofpeopleseverySunday。Inthemorning,trainloadaftertrainloadofvillagersandmountaineerspourintothetown,andtrainloadaftertrainloadofgoodandothercitizenssteamouttospendthedayinwoodandvalley,anduponlakeandmountain-side。

Wewentintooneortwoofthebeer-halls——notintotheswellcafes,crowdedwithtouristsandMunichmasherdom,butintothelow-

ceilinged,smoke-grimedcellarswherethelifeofthepeopleistobeseen。

Theungenteelpeopleinacountryaresomuchmoreinterestingthanthegentlefolks。Oneladyorgentlemanispainfullylikeeveryotherladyorgentleman。Thereissolittleindividuality,solittlecharacter,amongtheuppercirclesoftheworld。Theytalklikeeachother,theythinkandactlikeeachother,theydresslikeeachother,andlookverymuchlikeeachother。Wegentlefolksonlyplayatliving。Wehaveourrulesandregulationsforthegame,whichmustnotbeinfringed。Ourunwrittenguide-booksdirectuswhattodoandwhattosayateachturnofthemeaninglesssport。

Tothoseatthebottomofthesocialpyramid,however,whostandwiththeirfeetupontheearth,Natureisnotacuriousphenomenontobelookeddownatandstudied,butalivingforcetobeobeyed。

Theyfrontgrim,nakedLife,facetoface,andwrestlewithitthroughthedarkness;and,asdidtheangelthatstrovewithJacob,itleavesitsstampuponthem。

Thereisonlyonetypeofagentleman。Therearefivehundredtypesofmenandwomen。ThatiswhyIalwaysseekoutandfrequenttheplaceswherethecommonpeoplecongregate,inpreferencetothehauntsofrespectability。Ihavetobecontinuallyexplainingallthistomyfriends,toaccounttothemforwhattheycallmyloveoflowlife。

Withamugofbeerbeforeme,andapipeinmymouth,Icouldsitforhourscontentedly,andwatchthelifethatebbsandflowsintoandoutoftheseoldale-kitchens。

ThebrawnypeasantladsbringintheirlassestotreatthemtothebelovednectarofMunich,togetherwithahugeonion。Howtheyenjoythemselves!Whatsplendidjokestheyhave!Howtheylaughandroarandsing!Atonetablesitfouroldfellows,playingcards。Howfullofcharacteriseachgnarledface。Oneiseager,quick,vehement。Howhiseyesdance!Youcanreadhiseverythoughtuponhisface。Youknowwhenheisgoingtodashdownthekingwithashoutoftriumphonthequeen。Hisneighbourlookscalm,slow,anddogged,butwearsaconfidentexpression。Thegameproceeds,andyouwatchandwaitforhimtoplaythewinningcardsthatyoufeelsureheholds。Hemustintendtowin。Victoryiswritteninhisface。No!heloses。Asevenwasthehighestcardinhishand。Everyoneturnstohim,surprised。Helaughs——Adifficultmantodealwith,that,inothermattersbesidescards。Amanwhosethoughtslieagooddealbelowhisskin。

Opposite,across-lookingoldwomanclamoursforsausages,getsthem,andseemscrosserthanever。Shescowlsroundoneveryone,withamalignantexpressionthatisquiteterrifying。Asmalldogcomesandsitsdowninfrontofher,andgrinsather。Still,withthesamesavageexpressionofhatredtowardsalllivingthings,shefeedshimwithsausageattheendofafork,regardinghimallthewhilewithanaspectofsuchconcentrateddislike,thatonewondersitdoesnotinterferewithhisdigestion。Inacorner,astoutoldwomantalksincessantlytoasolemn-lookingman,whositssilentanddrinkssteadily。Itisevidentthathecanstandherconversationjustsolongashehasamugofbeerinfrontofhim。Hehasbroughtherinheretogiveheratreat。Hewillletherhavehertalkoutwhilehedrinks。Heavens!howshedoestalk!Shetalkswithoutmovement,withoutexpression;hervoicenevervaries,itflowson,andon,andon,likeagreatresistlessriver。Fouryoungartisanscomeclampingalongintheirhob-nailedboots,andseatingthemselvesatoneoftherudewoodentables,callforbeer。WiththeirarmsroundthewaistoftheutterlyindifferentFraulein,theyshoutandlaughandsing。Nearlyalltheyoungfolksherearelaughing——lookingforwardtolife。Alltheoldfolksaretalking,rememberingit。

Whatgrandpicturessomeoftheseold,searedfacesrounduswouldmake,ifamancouldonlypaintthem——paintallthatisinthem,allthetragedy——andcomedythatthegreatplaywright,Life,haswrittenuponthewitheredskins!Joysandsorrows,sordidhopesandfears,child-likestrivingstobegood,meanselfishnessandgrandunselfishness,havehelpedtofashiontheseoldwrinkledfaces。Thecurvesofcunningandkindlinesslurkroundthesefadingeyes。Thelinesofgreedhoveraboutthesebloodlesslips,thathavesooftenbeentight-pressedinpatientheroism。

SUNDAY,25TH——CONTINUED

WeDine。——ACuriousDish。——\"AFeelingofSadnessComesO’erMe。\"——

TheGermanCigar。——TheHandsomestMatchinEurope。——\"HowEasy’tisforFriendstoDriftApart,\"especiallyinaplacelikeMunichRailwayStation。——TheVictimofFate。——AFaithfulBradshaw。——AmongtheMountains。——PrinceandPauper。——AModernRomance。——ArrivalatOberau。——WiseandFoolishPilgrims。——AnInterestingDrive。——EttalanditsMonastery。——WeReachtheGoalofourPilgrimage。

Atoneo’clockweturnedintoarestaurantfordinner。TheGermansthemselvesalwaysdineinthemiddleoftheday,andaverysubstantialmealtheymakeofit。Atthehotelsfrequentedbytouriststabled’hoteis,duringtheseason,fixedforaboutsixorseven,butthisisonlydonetomeettheviewsofforeigncustomers。

Imentionthatwehaddinner,notbecauseIthinkthattheinformationwillproveexcitingtothereader,butbecauseIwishtowarnmycountrymen,travellinginGermany,againstundueindulgenceinLiptauercheese。

Iamfondofcheese,andoftryingnewvarietiesofcheese;sothatwhenIlookeddownthecheesedepartmentofthebilloffare,andcameacross\"liptauergarnit,\"anarticleofdietIhadneverbeforeheardof,Ideterminedtosampleit。

Itwasnotatempting-lookingcheese。Itwasanunhealthy,sad-

lookingcheese。Itlookedlikeacheesethathadseentrouble。Inappearanceitresembledputtymorethananythingelse。Iteventastedlikeputty——atleast,likeIshouldimagineputtywouldtaste。TothishourIamnotpositivethatitwasnotputty。Thegarnishingwasevenmoreremarkablethanthecheese。AllthewayroundtheplatewerepiledarticlesthatIhadneverbeforeseenatadinner,andthatIdonoteverwanttoseethereagain。Therewasalittleheapofsplit-peas,threeorfourremarkablysmallpotatoes——atleast,Isupposetheywerepotatoes;ifnot,theywerepea-nutsboiledsoft,——somecaraway-seeds,averyyoung-lookingfish,apparentlyofthesticklebackbreed,andsomeredpaint。Itwasquitealittledinneralltoitself。

Whattheredpaintwasfor,Icouldnotunderstand。B。thoughtthatitwasputthereforsuicidalpurposes。Hisideawasthatthecustomer,aftereatingalltheotherthingsintheplate,wouldwishheweredead,andthattherestaurantpeople,knowingthis,hadthoughtfullyprovidedhimwithredpaintforone,sothathecouldpoisonhimselfoffandgetoutofhismisery。

Ithought,afterswallowingthefirstmouthful,thatIwouldnoteatanymoreofthischeese。Thenitoccurredtomethatitwasapitytowasteitafterhavingorderedit,and,besides,ImightgettolikeitbeforeIhadfinished。Thetasteformostofthegoodthingsofthisworldhastobeacquired。IcanrememberthetimewhenIdidnotlikebeer。

SoImixedupeverythingontheplatealltogether——madeasortofsaladofit,infact——andateitwithaspoon。AmoredisagreeabledishIhavenevertastedsincethedayswhenIusedtodoWillieEvans’s\"dags,\"bywalkingtwicethroughasewer,andwassubsequently,onreturninghome,promptlyputtobed,andmadetoeatbrimstoneandtreacle。

Ifeltverysadafterdinner。AllthethingsIhavedoneinmylifethatIshouldnothavedonerecurredtomewithpainfulvividness。

(Thereseemedtobeagoodishnumberofthem,too。)IthoughtofallthedisappointmentsandreversesIhadexperiencedduringmycareer;ofalltheinjusticethatIhadsuffered,andofalltheunkindthingsthathadbeensaidanddonetome。IthoughtofallthepeopleIhadknownwhowerenowdead,andwhomIshouldneverseeagain,ofallthegirlsthatIhadloved,whowerenowmarriedtootherfellows,whileIdidnotevenknowtheirpresentaddresses。

Ipondereduponourearthlyexistence,uponhowhollow,false,andtransientitis,andhowfullofsorrow。Imuseduponthewickednessoftheworldandofeverybodyinit,andthegeneralcussednessofallthings。

IthoughthowfoolishitwasforB。andmyselftobewastingourtime,gaddingaboutEuropeinthissillyway。Whatearthlyenjoymentwasthereintravelling——beingjoltedaboutinstuffytrains,andoverchargedatuncomfortablehotels?

B。wascheerfulandfrivolouslyinclinedatthebeginningofourwalk(wewerestrollingdowntheMaximilianStrasse,afterdinner);

butasItalkedtohim,Iwasgladtonoticethathegraduallygrewmoreseriousandsubdued。Heisnotreallybad,youknow,onlythoughtless。

B。boughtsomecigarsandofferedmeone。Ididnotwanttosmoke。

Smokingseemedtome,justthen,afoolishwasteoftimeandmoney。

AsIsaidtoB。:

\"Inafewmoreyears,perhapsbeforethisverymonthisgone,weshallbelyinginthesilenttomb,withthewormsfeedingonus。Ofwhatadvantagewillitbetousthenthatwesmokedthesecigarsto-

day?\"

B。said:

\"Well,theadvantageitwillbetomenowis,thatifyouhaveacigarinyourmouthIshan’tgetquitesomuchofyourchattyconversation。Takeone,formysake。\"

Tohumourhim,Ilitup。

IdonotadmiretheGermancigar。B。saysthatwhenyouconsidertheyonlycostapenny,youcannotgrumble。ButwhatIsayis,thatwhenyouconsidertheyaredearatsixahalf-penny,youcangrumble。Wellboiled,theymightserveforgreens;butassmokingmaterialtheyarenotworththematchwithwhichyoulightthem,especiallynotifthematchbeaGermanone。TheGermanmatchisquiteahighartwork。Ithasayellowheadandamagentaorgreenstem,andcancertainlylayclaimtobeingthehandsomestmatchinEurope。

WesmokedagoodmanypennycigarsduringourstayinGermany,andthatwewerenonetheworsefordoingsoIconsiderasproofofoursplendidphysiqueandconstitution。IthinktheGermancigartestmight,withreason,beadoptedbylifeinsuranceoffices。——Question:

\"Areyouatpresent,andhaveyoualwaysbeen,ofrobusthealth?\"

Answer:\"IhavesmokedaGermancigar,andstilllive。\"Lifeaccepted。

Towardsthreeo’clockweworkedourwayroundtothestation,andbeganlookingforourtrain。Wehuntedallovertheplace,butcouldnotfinditanywhere。ThecentralstationatMunichisanenormousbuilding,andaperfectmazeofpassagesandhallsandcorridors。Itismucheasiertoloseoneselfinit,thantofindanythinginitonemayhappentowant。TogetherandseparatelyB。

andIlostourselvesandeachothersometwenty-fourtimes。Forabouthalfanhourweseemedtobedoingnothingelsebutrushingupanddownthestationlookingforeachother,suddenlyfindingeachother,andsaying,\"Why,wherethedickenshaveyoubeen?Ihavebeenhuntingforyoueverywhere。Don’tgoawaylikethat,\"andthenimmediatelylosingeachotheragain。

Andwhatwassoextraordinaryaboutthematterwasthateverytime,afterlosingeachother,weinvariablymetagain——whenwedidmeet——

outsidethedoorofthethird-classrefreshmentroom。

Wecameatlengthtoregardthedoorofthethird-classrefreshmentroomas\"home,\"andtofeelathrillofjoywhen,inthecourseofourwearywanderingsthroughfar-offwaiting-roomsandlost-luggagebureausandlampdepots,wesawitsoldfamiliarhandleshininginthedistance,andknewthatthere,besideit,weshouldfindourlovedandlostone。

Whenanyverylongtimeelapsedwithoutourcomingacrossit,wewouldgouptooneoftheofficials,andasktobedirectedtoit。

\"Pleasecanyoutellme,\"wewouldsay,\"thenearestwaytothedoorofthethird-classrefreshmentroom?\"

Whenthreeo’clockcame,andstillwehadnotfoundthe3。10train,webecamequiteanxiousaboutthepoorthing,andmadeinquiriesconcerningit。

\"The3。10traintoOber-Ammergau,\"theysaid。\"Oh,we’venotthoughtaboutthatyet。\"

\"Haven’tthoughtaboutit!\"weexclaimedindignantly。\"Well,doforheaven’ssakewakeupabit。Itis3。5now!\"

\"Yes,\"theyanswered,\"3。5intheafternoon;the3。10isanighttrain。Don’tyouseeit’sprintedinthicktype?Allthetrainsbetweensixintheeveningandsixinthemorningareprintedinfatfigures,andthedaytrainsinthin。Youhavegotplentyoftime。

Lookaroundaftersupper。\"

IdobelieveIamthemostunfortunatemanatatime-tablethateverwasborn。Idonotthinkitcanbestupidity;forifitweremerestupidity,Ishouldoccasionally,nowandthenwhenIwasfeelingwell,notmakeamistake。Itmustbefate。

Ifthereisonetrainoutoffortythatgoeson\"Saturdaysonly\"tosomeplaceIwanttogetto,thatisthetrainIselecttotravelbyonaFriday。OnSaturdaymorningIgetupatsix,swallowahastybreakfast,andrushofftocatchareturntrainthatgoesoneverydayintheweek\"exceptSaturdays。\"

IgotoLondon,BrightonandSouthCoastRailway-stationsandclamourforSouth-Easterntrains。OnBankHolidaysIforgetitisBankHoliday,andgoandsitondraughtyplatformsforhours,waitingfortrainsthatdonotrunonBankHolidays。

Toaddtomymisfortunes,Iamthemiserablepossessorofademontime-tablethatIcannotgetridof,aBradshawforAugust,1887。

Regularly,onthefirstofeachmonth,IbuyandbringhomewithmeanewBradshawandanewA。B。C。Whatbecomesofthemafterthesecondofthemonth,Idonotknow。Afterthesecondofthemonth,Ineverseeeitherofthemagain。Whattheirfateis,Icanonlyguess。Intheirplaceisleft,tomisleadme,thiswretchedold1887corpse。

ForthreeyearsIhavebeentryingtoescapefromit,butitwillnotleaveme。

Ihavethrownitoutofthewindow,andithasfallenonpeople’sheads,andthosepeoplehavepickeditupandsmootheditout,andbroughtitbacktothehouse,andmembersofmyfamily——\"friends\"

theycallthemselves——peopleofmyownfleshandblood——havethankedthemandtakenitinagain!

Ihavekickeditintoadozenpieces,andkickedthepiecesallthewaydownstairsandoutintothegarden,andpersons——persons,mindyou,whowillnotsewabuttononthebackofmyshirttosavemefrommadness——havecollectedthepiecesandstitchedthemcarefullytogether,andmadethebooklookasgoodasnew,andputitbackinmystudy!

Ithasacquiredthesecretofperpetualyouth,hasthistime-table。

Othertime-tablesthatIbuybecomedissipated-lookingwrecksinaboutaweek。Thisbooklooksasfreshandnewandcleanasitdidonthedaywhenitfirstluredmeintopurchasingit。Thereisnothingaboutitsappearancetosuggesttothecasualobserverthatitisnotthismonth’sBradshaw。Itsevidentaimandobjectinlifeistodeceivepeopleintotheideathatitisthismonth’sBradshaw。

Itisunderminingmymoralcharacter,thisbookis。Itisresponsibleforatleasttenpercent。ofthebadlanguagethatI

useeveryyear。Itleadsmeintodrinkandgambling。Iamcontinuallyfindingmyselfwithsomethreeorfourhourstowaitatdismalprovincialrailwaystations。Ireadalltheadvertisementsonbothplatforms,andthenIgetwildandreckless,andplungeintotherailwayhotelandplaybilliardswiththelandlordforthreesofScotch。

IintendtohavethatBradshawputintomycoffinwithmewhenIamburied,sothatIcanshowittotherecordingangelandexplainmatters。Iexpecttoobtainadiscountofatleastfive-and-twentypercent。offmybillofcrimesforthatBradshaw。

The3。10traininthemorningwas,ofcourse,toolateforus。ItwouldnotgetustoOber-Ammergauuntilabout9a。m。Therewasatrainleavingat7。30(IletB。findoutthis)bywhichwemightreachthevillagesometimeduringthenight,ifonlywecouldgetaconveyancefromOberau,thenearestrailway-station。Accordingly,wetelegraphedtoCook’sagent,whowasatOber-Ammergau(weallofussneeratMr。CookandMr。Gaze,andsuch-likegentlemen,whokindlyconducttravellersthatcannotconductthemselvesproperly,whenweareathome;butInoticemostofusappeal,onthequiet,tooneortheotherofthemthemomentwewanttomoveabroad),totryandsendacarriagetomeetusbythattrain;andthenwenttoanhotel,andturnedintobeduntilitwastimetostart。

Wehadanothergrandrailway-ridefromMunichtoOberau。WepassedbythebeautifullakeofStarnbergjustasthesunwassettingandgildingwithgoldthelittlevillagesandpleasantvillasthatliearounditsshores。ItwasinthelakeofStarnberg,nearthelordlypleasure-housethathehadbuiltforhimselfinthatfairvale,thatpoormadLudwig,thelateKingofBavaria,drownedhimself。PoorKing!Fategavehimeverythingcalculatedtomakeamanhappy,exceptingonething,andthatwasthepowerofbeinghappy。Fatehasamaniaforstrikingbalances。IknewalittleshoeblackoncewhousedtofollowhisprofessionatthecornerofWestminsterBridge。Fategavehimanaverageofsixpenceadaytoliveuponandprovidehimselfwithluxuries;butshealsogavehimapowerofenjoyingthatkepthimjollyalldaylong。Hecouldbuyasmuchenjoymentforapennyastheaveragemancouldforaten-poundnote——

more,Ialmostthink。Hedidnotknowhewasbadlyoff,anymorethanKingLudwigknewhewaswelloff;andalldaylonghelaughedandplayed,andworkedalittle——notmorethanhecouldhelp——andateanddrank,andgambled。ThelasttimeIsawhimwasinSt。

Thomas’sHospital,intowhichhehadgothimselfowingtohisfatalpassionforwalkingalongoutsidethestonecopingofWestminsterBridge。Hethoughtitwas\"prime,\"beinginthehospital,andtoldmethathewaslivinglikeafighting-cock,andthathedidnotmeantogooutsoonerthanhecouldhelp。Iaskedhimifhewerenotinpain,andhesaid\"Yes,\"whenhe\"thoughtaboutit。\"

Poorlittlechap!heonlymanagedtolivelikea\"fighting-cock\"forthreedaysmore。Thenhedied,cheerfuluptothelast,sotheytoldme,likethepluckylittleEnglishgame-cockhewas。Hecouldnothavebeenmorethantwelveyearsoldwhenhecrowedhislast。

Ithadbeenashortlifeforhim,butaverymerryone。

Now,ifonlythislittlebeggarandpooroldLudwigcouldhavegoneintopartnership,andsohavesharedbetweenthemtheshoeblack’spowerofenjoyingandtheking’sstockofenjoyments,whatagoodthingitwouldhavebeenforbothofthem——especiallyforKingLudwig。Hewouldneverhavethoughtofdrowninghimselfthen——lifewouldhavebeentoodelightful。

ButthatwouldnothavesuitedFate。Shelovestolaughatmen,andtomakeoflifeaparadox。Totheone,sheplayedravishingstrains,havingfirsttakentheprecautiontomakehimstone-deaf。

Totheother,shepipedafewpoornotesonacrackedtin-whistle,andhethoughtitwasmusic,anddanced!

Afewyearslateron,attheverysamespotwhereKingLudwigthrewbacktothegodstheirgiftoflife,apairofsomewhatfoolishyoungloversendedtheirdisappointments,and,findingtheycouldnotbeweddedtogetherinlife,weddedthemselvestogetherindeath。

Thestory,dulyreportedinthenewspapersasanitemofforeignintelligence,readmorelikesomeoldRhine-legendthantherecordofarealoccurrenceinthisprosaicnineteenthcentury。

HewasaGermanCount,ifIrememberrightly,and,likemostGermanCounts,hadnotmuchmoney;andherfather,asfatherswillwhenproposedtobyimpecuniouswould-besons-in-law,refusedhisconsent。TheCountthenwentabroadtotryandmake,oratalleventsimprove,hisfortune。HewenttoAmerica,andthereheprospered。Inayearortwohecameback,tolerablyrich——tofind,however,thathewastoolate。Hislady,persuadedofhisdeath,hadbeenurgedintoamarriagewitharichsomebodyelse。Inordinarylife,ofcourse,themanwouldhavecontentedhimselfwithcontinuingtomakelovetothelady,leavingtherichsomebodyelsetopayforherkeep。Thisyoungcouple,however,alittlelighterheaded,oralittledeeperheartedthanthemostofus,whicheveritmayhavebeen,andangryatthemockinglaughterwithwhichtheairaroundthemseemedfilled,wentdownonestormynighttogethertothelake,andsobereddrollFateforaninstantbyturninghergrimcomedyintoasomewhatgrimmertragedy。

SoonafterlosingsightofStarnberg’splacidwaters,weplungedintothegloomofthemountains,andbeganalong,windingclimbamongtheirhiddenrecesses。Attimes,shriekingasifinterror,wepassedsomeghostlyhamlet,standingoutwhiteandsilentinthemoonlightagainsttheshadowyhills;and,nowandthen,adark,stilllake,ormountaintorrentwhosefoamingwatersfellinalongwhitestreakacrosstheblacknessofthenight。

WepassedbyMurnauinthevalleyoftheDragon,alittletownwhichpossessedaPassionPlayofitsownintheoldentimes,andwhich,untilafewyearsago,whentherailway-linewaspushedforwardtoPartenkirchen,wastheneareststationtoOber-Ammergau。ItwasatolerablysteepclimbuptheroadfromMurnau,overMountEttal,toAmmergau——sosteep,indeed,thatonestoutpilgrimnotmanyyearsago,diedfromtheexertionwhilewalkingup。Sturdy-leggedmountaineerandpulpycitizenbothhadtoclamberupsidebyside,fornohorsescoulddomorethandragbehindthemtheemptyvehicle。

Everyseason,however,seestheEuropeantouristmoreandmorepampered,andthedifficultiesandconsequentpleasureandinterestofhisjourneymoreandmorecurtailedandspoilt。Inafewyears’

time,hewillbepackedincotton-woolinhisownback-parlour,labelledfortheplacehewantstogoto,andunpackedandtakenoutwhenhegetsthere。TherailwaynowcarrieshimroundMountEttaltoOberau,fromwhichlittlevillageatolerablyeasyroad,asmountainroadwaysgo,ofaboutfourorfiveEnglishmilestakeshimuptothevalleyoftheAmmer。

ItwasmidnightwhenourtrainlandedusatOberaustation;buttheplacewasfarmorebusyandstirringthanonordinaryoccasionsitisatmid-day。Crowdsoftouristsandpilgrimsthrongedthelittlehotel,wondering,asalsodidthelandlord,wheretheywereallgoingtosleep;andwonderingstillmore,thoughthislatterconsiderationevidentlydidnottroubletheirhost,howtheyweregoingtogetuptoOber-Ammergauinthemorningintimefortheplay,whichalwaysbeginsat8a。m。

Somewereengagingcarriagesatfabulouspricestocallforthematfive;andothers,whocouldnotsecurecarriages,andwhohaddeterminedtowalk,wereinstructingworriedwaiterstowakethemat2。30,andorderingbreakfastforaquarter-pastthreesharp。(Ihadnoideathereweresuchtimesinthemorning!)

Wewerefortunateenoughtofindourland-lord,aworthyfarmer,waitingforuswithatumble-downconveyance,inappearancesomethingbetweenacircus-chariotandabath-chair,drawnbyacoupleofpowerful-lookinghorses;andinthis,afteraspiritedskirmishbetweenourdriverandamoboftwentyorsotourists,whopretendedtomistaketheaffairforanomnibus,andwhowouldhaveclamberedintoitandswampedit,wedroveaway。

Higherandhigherweclimbed,andgranderandgrandertoweredthefrowningmoon-bathedmountainsroundus,andchillierandchilliergrewtheair。Formostofthewaywecrawledalong,thehorsestuggingusfromsidetosideofthesteeproad;but,whereverourcoachmancouldvarythemonotonyofthepacebyastretch-gallop——

as,forinstance,downtheprecipitousdescentsthatoccasionallyfolloweduponsomeextralongandtoilsomeascent——hethoughtfullydidso。Atsuchtimesthedrivebecamereallyquiteexciting,andallourwearinesswasforgotten。

Thesteeperthedescent,thefaster,ofcourse,wecouldgo。Theroughertheroad,themoreanxiousthehorsesseemedtobetogetoveritquickly。Duringthegallop,B。andIenjoyed,inacondensedform,alltheadvantagesusuallyderivedfromcrossingtheChannelonastormyday,ridingonaswitchbackrailway,andbeingtossedinablanket——ahard,nobblyblanket,fullofnastycornersandsharpedges。Ishouldneverhavethoughtthatsomanydifferentsensationscouldhavebeenobtainedfromonemachine!

Abouthalf-wayupwepassedEttal,attheentrancetotheValleyoftheAmmer。Thegreatwhitetemple,standing,surroundedbyitslittlevillage,highupamidthemountainsolitudes,isafamousplaceofpilgrimageamongdevoutCatholics。Manyhundredsofyearsago,oneoftheearlyBavariankingsbuilthereamonasteryasashrineforamiraculousimageoftheVirginthathadbeensentdowntohimfromHeaventohelphimwhen,inaforeignland,hehadstoodsoreinneed,encompassedbyhisenemies。MaybethestoutarmsandheartsofhisBavarianfriendswereofsomeserviceinthecrisisalso;butthelivinghelperswereforgotten。Theoldchurchandmonastery,whichlatterwasasortofancientChelseaHospitalfordecayedknights,wasdestroyedoneterriblenightsomehundredandfiftyyearsagobyaflashoflightning;butthewonder-workingimagewasrescuedunhurt,andmaystillbeseenandworshippedbeneaththedomeofthepresentmuchlessimposingchurchwhichhasbeenrearedupontheruinsofitsancestor。

Themonastery,whichwasalsorebuiltatthesametime,nowservesthemoreusefulpurposeofabrewery。

FromEttaltheroadiscomparativelylevel,and,joltingswiftlyoverit,wesoonreachedOber-Ammergau。Lightswerepassingtoandfrobehindthemanywindowsofthesquarestonehouses,anddark,strange-lookingfiguresweremovingaboutthestreets,busywithpreparationsforthegreatbusinessthatwouldcommencewiththedawn。

Werattlednoisilythroughthevillage,ourdriverroaringout\"GoodNight!\"toeveryonehepassedinavoicesufficienttowakeupeverybodywhomightbesleepingwithinamile,chargedlight-

heartedlyroundhalf-a-dozencorners,trotteddownthecentrepathofsomebody’sfrontgarden,squeezedourwaythroughagate,anddrewupatanopendoor,throughwhichthestreaminglightpouredoutupontwotall,comelylasses,ourhost’sdaughters,whowerestandingwaitingforusintheporch。Theyledusintoalarge,comfortablyfurnishedroom,whereatemptingsupperofhotveal-

chops(theyseemtoliveonvealinGermany)andwhitewinewasstandingready。UnderordinarycircumstancesIshouldhavebeenafraidthatsuchasupperwouldcausemetobemoreeagerforchangeandmovementduringtheensuingsixhoursthanforsleep;butIfeltthatto-nightitwouldtakeadozenhalf-bakedfirebrickstokeepmeawakefivesecondsafterIhadgotmyheadonthepillow——orwhattheycallapillowinGermany;andso,withouthesitation,Imadeaverysatisfactorymeal。

Aftersupperourhostescortedustoourbedroom,anairyapartmentadornedwithvarioushighly-colouredwood-carvingsofapiousbutsomewhatghastlycharacter,calculated,Ishouldsay,toexerciseadisturbinginfluenceuponthenight’srestofanervousorsensitiveperson。

\"Mindthatwearecalledatpropertimeinthemorning,\"saidB。totheman。\"Wedon’twanttowakeupatfouro’clockintheafternoonandfindthatwehavemissedtheplay,aftercomingallthiswaytoseeit。\"

\"Oh!thatwillbeallright,\"answeredtheoldfellow。\"Youwon’tgetmuchchanceofoversleepingyourself。Weshallallbeupandabout,andthewholevillagestirring,beforefive;andbesides,thebandwillbeplayingatsixjustbeneaththewindowhere,andthecannonontheKofelgoesoffat——\"

\"Lookhere,\"Iinterrupted,\"thatwon’tdoforme,youknow。Don’tyouthinkthatIamgoingtobewokeupbymereriotsoutsidethewindow,andbrass-bandcontests,andearthquakes,andexplosions,andthosesortofthings,becauseitcan’tbedonethatway。

Somebody’sgottocomeintothisroomandhaulmeoutofbed,andsitdownonthebedandseethatIdon’tgetintoitagain,andthatIdon’tgotosleeponthefloor。Thatwillbethewaytogetmeupto-morrowmorning。Don’tlet’shaveanynonsenseaboutstirringvillagesandgunsandGermanbands。Iknowwhatallthatwillendin,mygoingbacktoEnglandwithoutseeingtheshow。Iwanttoberousedinthemorning,notlulledofftosleepagain。\"

B。translatedtheessentialportionsofthisspeechtotheman,andhelaughedandpromiseduponhissacredwordofhonourthathewouldcomeuphimselfandhaveusbothout;andashewasastalwartanddetermined-lookingman,Ifeltsatisfied,andwishedhim\"Good-

night,\"andmadehastetogetoffmybootsbeforeIfellasleep。

TUESDAY,THE27TH

APleasantMorning。——WhatcanoneSayaboutthePassionPlay?——B。

Lectures。——UnreliableDescriptionofOber-Ammergau。——ExaggeratedDescriptionofitsWeather。——PossiblyUntruthfulAccountofhowthePassionPlaycametobePlayed。——AGoodFace。——TheCulturedSchoolboyandhisIgnorantRelations。

Iamlyinginbed,or,tospeakmoretruthfully,Iamsittinguponagreensatin,lace-coveredpillow,writingthesenotes。Agreensatin,lace-coveredbedisonthefloorbesideme。Itisabouteleveno’clockinthemorning。B。issittingupinhisbedafewfeetoff,smokingapipe。Wehavejustfinishedalightrepastof——

whatdoyouthink?youwillneverguess——coffeeandrolls。Weintendtoputtheweekstraightbystoppinginbedallday,atalleventsuntiltheevening。TwoEnglishladiesoccupythebedroomnexttoours。Theyseemtohavemadeuptheirmindstoalsostayupstairsallday。Wecanhearthemwalkingabouttheirroom,muttering。Theyhavebeendoingthisforthelastthree-quartersofanhour。Theyseemtroubledaboutsomething。

Itisverypleasanthere。Anoverflowperformanceisbeinggiveninthetheatreto-dayforthebenefitofthosepeoplewhocouldnotgainadmittanceyesterday,and,throughtheopenwindows,wecanheartherhythmicchantofthechorus。Mellowedbythedistance,thewailingcadenceoftheplaintivesongs,mingledwiththeshrillHaydnisticstrainsoftheorchestra,fallswithamournfulsweetnessonourears。

Weourselvessawtheplayyesterday,andwearenowdiscussingit。

IamexplainingtoB。thedifficultyIexperienceinwritinganaccountofitformydiary。ItellhimthatIreallydonotknowwhattosayaboutit。

Hesmokesforawhileinsilence,andthen,takingthepipefromhislips,hesays:

\"Doesitmatterverymuchwhatyousayaboutit?\"

Ifindmuchreliefinthatthought。Itatonceliftsfrommyshoulderstheoppressivefeelingofresponsibilitythatwasweighingmedown。Afterall,whatdoesitmatterwhatIsay?Whatdoesitmatterwhatanyofussaysaboutanything?Nobodytakesmuchnoticeofit,luckilyforeverybody。Thisreflectionmustbeofgreatcomforttoeditorsandcritics。Aconscientiousmanwhoreallyfeltthathiswordswouldcarryweightandinfluencewiththemwouldbealmostafraidtospeakatall。Itisthemanwhoknowsthatitwillnotmakeanounceofdifferencetoanyonewhathesays,thatcangroweloquentandvehementandpositive。ItwillnotmakeanydifferencetoanybodyoranythingwhatIsayabouttheOber-AmmergauPassionPlay。SoIshalljustsaywhatIwantto。

ButwhatdoIwanttosay?WhatcanIsaythathasnotbeensaid,andsaidmuchbetter,already?(Anauthormustalwayspretendtothinkthateveryotherauthorwritesbetterthanhehimselfdoes。

Hedoesnotreallythinkso,youknow,butitlookswelltotalkasthoughhedid。)WhatcanIsaythatthereaderdoesnotknow,orthat,notknowing,hecarestoknow?Itiseasyenoughtotalkaboutnothing,likeIhavebeendoinginthisdiaryhitherto。ItiswhenoneisconfrontedwiththetaskofwritingaboutSOMEthing,thatonewishesonewerearespectablewell-to-dosweep——asweepwithacomfortablebusinessofhisown,andapony——insteadofanauthor。

B。says:

\"Well,whynotbeginbydescribingOber-Ammergau。\"

Isayithasbeendescribedsooften。

Hesays:

\"SohastheOxfordandCambridgeBoatRaceandtheDerbyDay,butpeoplegoondescribingthemallthesame,andapparentlyfindotherpeopletoreadtheirdescriptions。Saythatthelittlevillage,clusteredrounditsmosque-domedchurch,nestlesinthecentreofavalley,surroundedbygreatfir-robedhills,whichstand,withthecross-crownedKofelfortheirchief,likestern,strongsentinelsguardingitsold-worldpeacefromthedinandclamouroftheouterworld。Describehowthesquare,whitewashedhousesareshelteredbeneathgreatoverhanginggables,andareencircledbycarvedwoodenbalconiesandverandahs,where,inthecooloftheevening,peasantwood-carverandpeasantfarmersittosmokethelongBavarianpipe,andchataboutthecattleandthePassionPlayandvillagepolitics;

andhow,ingaudycoloursabovetheporch,arepaintedglowingfiguresofsaintsandvirginsandsuch-likegoodfolk,whichtherainshavesadlymutilated,sothataleglessangelononesideoftheroadlooksdejectedlyacrossataheadlessMadonnaontheother,whileatanexposedcornersomeunfortunatesaint,morecruellydealtwithbytheweatherthanheeverwasevenbytheheathen,hasbeendeprivedofeverythingthathecouldcallhisown,withtheexceptionofhalfaheadandapairofextra-sizedfeet。

\"Explainhowallthehousesarenumberedaccordingtothedatetheywerebuilt,sothatnumbersixteencomesnexttonumberforty-seven,andthereisnonumberonebecauseithasbeenpulleddown。Tellhowunsophisticatedvisitors,informedthattheirlodgingsareatnumberfifty-three,gowanderingfordaysanddaysroundfifty-two,underthenotunreasonableimpressionthattheirhousemustbenextdoor,though,asamatteroffact,itishalfamileoffattheotherendofthevillage,andarediscoveredonesunnymorning,sittingonthedoorstepofnumbereighteen,singingpatheticsnatchesofnurseryrhymes,andtryingtoplattheirtoesintodoor-

mats,andaretakenupandcarriedawayscreaming,toendtheirlivesinthemadhouseatMunich。

\"Talkabouttheweather。PeoplewhohavestayedhereforanylengthoftimetellmethatitrainsatOber-Ammergauthreedaysoutofeveryfour,thereasonthatitdoesnotrainonthefourthdaybeingthateveryfourthdayissetapartforadeluge。Theytellme,also,thatwhileitwillbepouringwithrainjustinthevillagethesunwillbeshiningbrightlyallroundabout,andthatthevillagers,whenthewaterbeginstocomeinthroughtheirroofs,snatchuptheirchildrenandhurryofftothenearestfield,wheretheysitandwaituntilthestormisover。\"

\"Doyoubelievethem——thepersonsthatyousaytellyouthesetales?\"Iask。

\"PersonallyIdonot,\"hereplies。\"IthinkpeopleexaggeratetomebecauseIlookyoungandinnocent,butnodoubtthereisaground-

workoftruthintheirstatements。IhavemyselfleftOber-Ammergauunderasteadydrenchingrain,andfoundacloudlessskytheothersideoftheKofel。

\"Then,\"hecontinues,\"youcancommentuponthehardihoodoftheBavarianpeasant。Howheorshewalksaboutbare-headedandbare-

footedthroughthefiercestshowers,andseemstofindtherainonlypleasantlycooling。How,duringtheperformanceofthePassionPlay,theyactandsingandstandaboutupontheuncoveredstagewithouttakingtheslightestnoticeofthedownpourofwaterthatissoakingtheirrobesandrunningfromtheirstreaminghair,tomakegreatpoolsupontheboards;andhowtheaudience,inthecheaper,unroofedportionofthetheatre,sitwithequalstoicism,watchingthem,nooneeverdreamingevenofputtingupanumbrella——or,ifhedoesdreamofdoingso,experiencingaveryrudeawakeningfromthesticksofthosebehind。\"

B。stopstorelighthispipeatthispoint,andIhearthetwoladiesinthenextroomfidgetingaboutandmutteringworsethanever。Itseemstometheyarelisteningatthedoor(ourroomandtheirsareconnectedbyadoor);Idowishthattheywouldeithergetintobedagainorelsegodownstairs。Theyworryme。

\"AndwhatshallIsayafterIhavesaidallthat?\"IaskB。whenatlasthehasstartedhispipeagain。

\"Oh!well,afterthat,\"hereplies,\"youcangivethehistoryofthePassionPlay;howitcametobeplayed。\"

\"Oh,butsomanypeoplehavedonethatalready,\"Isayagain。

\"Somuchthebetterforyou,\"ishisreply。Havingpreviouslyheardpreciselythesamestoryfromhalfadozenothersources,thepublicwillbetemptedtobelieveyouwhenyourepeattheaccount。Tellthemthatduringthethirtyyear’swaraterribleplague(asifhalfadozendifferentarmies,marchingupanddowntheircountry,fightingeachotherabouttheLordonlyknowswhat,andlivingonthemwhiledoingit,wasnotplagueenough)sweptoverBavaria,devastatingeachtownandhamlet。Ofallthehighlandvillages,Ober-Ammergaubymeansofastrictlyenforcedquarantinealonekept,forawhile,theblackfoeatbay。Nosoulwasallowedtoleavethevillage;nolivingthingtoenterit。

\"ButonedarknightCasparSchuchler,aninhabitantofOber-

Ammergau,whohadbeenworkingintheplague-strickenneighbouringvillageofEschenlohe,creepinglowonhisbelly,passedthedrowsysentinels,andgainedhishome,andsawwhatformanyadayhehadbeenhungeringfor——asightofhiswifeandbairns。Itwasaselfishacttodo,andheandhisfellow-villagerspaiddearlyforit。Threedaysafterhehadenteredhishouseheandallhisfamilylaydead,andtheplaguewasragingthroughthevalley,andnothingseemedabletostayitscourse。

\"Whenhumanmeansfail,wefeelitisonlyfairtogiveHeavenachance。ThegoodpeoplewhodweltbythesideoftheAmmervowedthat,iftheplagueleftthem,theywould,everytenyears,performaPassionPlay。Thecelestialpowersseemtohaveatonceclosedwiththisoffer。Theplaguedisappearedasifbymagic,andeveryrecurringtenthyearsince,theOber-AmmergauiteshavekepttheirpromiseandplayedtheirPassionPlay。Theyactittothisdayasapiousobservance。Beforeeachperformanceallthecharactersgathertogetheronthestagearoundtheirpastor,and,kneeling,prayforablessingupontheworkthenabouttocommence。Theprofitsthataremade,afterpayingtheperformersawagethatjustcompensatesthemfortheirlossoftime——wood-carverMaier,whoplaystheChrist,onlyreceivesaboutfiftypoundsforthewholeofthethirtyorsoperformancesgivenduringtheseason,tosaynothingofthewinter’srehearsals——isputaside,partforthetemporalbenefitofthecommunity,andtherestforthebenefitoftheChurch。Fromburgomasterdowntoshepherdlad,fromtheMaryandtheJesusdowntothemeanestsuper,allworkfortheloveoftheirreligion,notformoney。EachonefeelsthatheishelpingforwardthecauseofChristianity。\"

\"AndIcouldalsospeak,\"Iadd,\"ofgrandoldDaisenberger,thegentle,simpleoldpriest,’thefatherofthevalley,’whonowliesinsilenceamonghischildrenthathelovedsowell。Itwashe,youknow,thatshapedtherudeburlesqueofacoarserageintotheimpressivereverentialdramathatwesawyesterday。Thatisaportraitofhimoverthebed。Whataplain,homely,goodfaceitis!Howpleasant,howhelpfulitistocomeacrossagoodfacenowandthen!Idonotmeanasaintedface,suggestiveofstainedglassandmarbletombs,butaruggedhumanfacethathashadthegrit,andrain,andsunshineofliferubbedintoit,andthathasgaineditsexpression,notbylookingupwithlongingatthestars,butbylookingdownwitheyesfulloflaughterandloveatthehumanthingsaroundit。\"

\"Yes,\"assentedB。\"Youcanputinthatifyoulike。Thereisnoharminit。Andthenyoucangoontospeakoftheplayitself,andgiveyourimpressionsconcerningit。Nevermindtheirbeingsilly。

Theywillbeallthebetterforthat。Sillyremarksaregenerallymoreinterestingthansensibleones。\"

\"Butwhatistheuseofsayinganythingaboutitatall?\"Iurge。

\"Themerestschool-boymustknowallabouttheOber-AmmergauPassionPlaybythistime。\"

\"Whathasthattodowithyou?\"answersB。\"Youarenotwritingforculturedschool-boys。Youarewritingformeresimplemenandwomen。Theywillbegladofalittleinformationonthesubject,andthenwhentheschoolboycomeshomeforhisholidaytheywillbeable,sofarasthistopic,atallevents,isconcerned,toconversewithhimonhisownlevelandnotappearstupid。

\"Come,\"hesays,kindly,tryingtoleadmeon,\"whatdidyouthinkaboutit?\"

\"Well,\"Ireply,aftermusingforawhile,\"Ithinkthataplayofeighteenactsandsomefortyscenes,whichcommencesateighto’clockinthemorning,andcontinues,withanintervalofanhourandahalffordinner,untilsixo’clockintheevening,istoolong。Ithinkthepiecewantscutting。Aboutathirdofitisimpressiveandmoving,andwhattheearneststudentofthedramaathomeisforeverdemandingthataplayshouldbe——namely,elevating;

butIconsiderthattheothertwo-thirdsaretiresome。\"

\"Quiteso,\"answersB。\"Butthenwemustrememberthattheperformanceisnotintendedasanentertainment,butasareligiousservice。Tocriticiseanypartofitasuninteresting,islikesayingthathalftheBiblemightverywellhavebeenomitted,andthatthewholestorycouldhavebeentoldinathirdofthespace。\"

TUESDAY,THE27TH——CONTINUED

Wetalkon。——AnArgument。——TheStorythatTransformedtheWorld。

\"Andnow,astotherightorwrongoftheperformanceasawhole。

Doyouseeanyobjectiontotheplayfromareligiouspointofview?\"

\"No,\"Ireply,\"Idonot;nordoIunderstandhowanybodyelse,andleastofallareallybelievingChristian,caneither。Toargueassomedo,thatChristianityshouldbetreatedasasacredmystery,istoargueagainstthewholeschemeofChristianity。ItwasChristhimselfthatrenttheveiloftheTemple,andbroughtreligiondownintothestreetsandmarket-placesoftheworld。Christwasacommonman。Helivedacommonlife,amongcommonmenandwomen。Hediedacommondeath。HisownmethodsofteachingwerewhataSaturdayreviewer,hadhetodealwiththecase,wouldundoubtedlytermvulgar。TherootsofChristianityareplanteddeepdownintheverysoiloflife,amidallthatiscommonplace,andmean,andpetty,andeveryday。Itsstrengthliesinitssimplicity,itshomelyhumanness。Ithasspreaditselfthroughtheworldbyspeakingtothehearts,ratherthantotheheadsofmen。Ifitisstilltoliveandgrow,itmustbehelpedalongbysuchmethodsasthesepeasantplayersofOber-Ammergauemploy,notbyhigh-classessaysandthelearneddiscussionsofthecultured。

\"ThecrowdedaudiencethatsatbesideusinthetheatreyesterdaysawChristofNazarethnearerthananybook,howeverinspired,couldbringhimtothem;clearerthananywords,howevereloquent,couldshowhim。Theysawthesorrowofhispatientface。Theyheardhisdeeptonescallingtothem。Theysawhiminthehourofhisso-

calledtriumph,wendinghiswaythroughthenarrowstreetsofJerusalem,themultitudethatthrongedroundhimwavingtheirbranchesofgreenpalmsandshoutingloudhosannas。

\"Whatapoorsceneoftriumph!——apoor-clad,pale-facedman,mounteduponthebackofashuffling,unwillinglittlegreydonkey,passingslowlythroughthebywaysofacity,busyuponotherthings。Besidehim,alittlebandofworn,anxiousmen,cladinthread-baregarments——fishermen,pettyclerks,andthelike;and,following,anoisyrabble,shouting,ascrowdsinalllandsandinalltimesshout,andasdogsbark,theyknownotwhy——becauseothersareshouting,orbarking。AndthatscenemarksthehighesttriumphwonwhilehelivedonearthbythevillagecarpenterofGalilee,aboutwhomtheworldhasbeenfightingandthinkingandtalkingsohardforthelasteighteenhundredyears。

\"Theysawhim,angryandindignant,drivingoutthedesecratorsfromthetemple。Theysawtherabble,whoafewbriefmomentsbeforehadfollowedhim,shouting’Hosanna,’slinkingawayfromhimtoshoutwithhisfoes。

\"Theysawthehighpriestsintheirrobesofwhite,withtherabbisanddoctors,allthegreatandlearnedintheland,sittinglateintothenightbeneaththevaultedroofoftheSanhedrin’scouncil-

hall,plottinghisdeath。

\"TheysawhimsuppingwithhisdisciplesinthehouseofSimon。

Theysawpoor,lovingMaryMagdalenwashhisfeetwithcostlyointment,thatmighthavebeensoldforthreehundredpence,andthemoneygiventothepoor——’andus。’Judaswassothoughtfulforthepoor,soeagerthatotherpeopleshouldsellalltheyhad,andgivethemoneytothepoor——’andus。’Methinksthat,eveninthisnineteenthcentury,onecanstillhearfrommanyatubandplatformthevoiceofJudas,complainingofallwaste,andpleadingforthepoor——’andus。’

\"TheywerepresentatthepartingofMaryandJesusbyBethany,anditwillbemanyadaybeforethememoryofthatsceneceasestovibrateintheirhearts。Itisthescenethatbringsthehumannessofthegreattragedymostcloselyhometous。JesusisgoingtofacesorrowanddeathatJerusalem。Mary’sinstincttellsherthatthisisso,andshepleadstohimtostay。

\"PoorMary!ToothersheistheChrist,theSaviourofmankind,settingforthuponhismightymissiontoredeemtheworld。TolovingMaryMother,heisherson:thebabyshehassuckledatherbreast,thelittleoneshehascroonedtosleepuponherlap,whoselittlecheekhaslainagainstherheart,whoselittlefeethavemadesweetmusicthroughthepoorhomeatBethany:heisherboy,herchild;shewouldwraphermother’sarmsaroundhimandholdhimsafeagainstalltheworld,againstevenheavenitself。

\"Never,inanyhumandrama,haveIwitnessedamoremovingscenethanthis。Neverhasthevoiceofanyactress(andIhaveseensomeofthegreatest,ifanygreatonesareliving)stirredmyheartasdidthevoiceofRosaLang,theBurgomaster’sdaughter。Itwasnotthevoiceofonewoman,itwasthevoiceofMotherdom,gatheredtogetherfromalltheworldover。

\"OliverWendellHolmes,inTheAutocratoftheBreakfastTable,I

think,confessestohavingbeenbewitchedatdifferenttimesbytwowomen’svoices,andaddsthatboththesevoicesbelongedtoGermanwomen。Iamnotsurprisedateitherstatementofthegooddoctor’s。

Iamsureifamandidfallinlovewithavoice,hewouldfind,ontracingittoitssource,thatitwasthevoiceofsomehomely-

lookingGermanwoman。Ihaveneverheardsuchexquisitesoul-

drawingmusicinmylife,asIhavemorethanonceheardfloatfromthelipsofsomesweet-facedGermanFrauleinwhensheopenedhermouthtospeak。Thevoicehasbeensopure,soclear,sodeep,sofullofsoftcaressingtenderness,sostrongtocomfort,sogentletosoothe,ithasseemedlikeoneofthoseharmoniesmusicianstellusthattheydreamof,butcanneverchaintoearth。

\"AsIsatinthetheatre,listeningtothewondroustonesofthismountainpeasant-woman,risingandfallinglikethemurmurofasea,fillingthevastsky-coveredbuildingwiththeiryearningnotes,stirringlikeagreatwindstirsAeolianstrings,thethousandsoftremblingheartsaroundher,itseemedtomethatIwasindeedlisteningtothevoiceofthe’motheroftheworld,’ofmotherNatureherself。

\"Theysawhim,astheyhadoftenseenhiminpictures,sittingforthelasttimewithhisdisciplesatsupper。Butyesterdaytheysawhim,notamute,movelessfigure,posedinconventional,meaninglessattitude,butaliving,lovingman,sittinginfellowshipwiththedearfriendsthatagainstalltheworldhadbelievedinhim,andhadfollowedhispoorfortunes,talkingwiththemforthelastsweettime,comfortingthem。

\"Theyheardhimblessthebreadandwinethattheythemselvestothisdaytakeinremembranceofhim。

\"TheysawhisagonyintheGardenofGethsemane,thehumanshrinkingfromthecupofpain。Theysawthefalsefriend,Judas,betrayhimwithakiss。(Alas!poorJudas!HelovedJesus,inaway,liketherestdid。ItwasonlyhisfearofpovertythatmadehimbetrayhisMaster。Hewassopoor——hewantedthemoneysobadly!WecryoutinhorroragainstJudas。Letusprayratherthatwearenevertemptedtodoashamefulactionforafewpiecesofsilver。Thefearofpovertyeverdid,andeverwill,makescampsofmen。Wewouldliketobefaithful,andnoble,andjust,onlyreallytimesaresobadthatwecannotaffordit!AsBeckySharpsays,itissoeasytobegoodandnobleonfivethousandayear,soveryhardtobeitonthemerefive。IfJudashadonlybeenawell-to-doman,hemighthavebeenSaintJudasthisday,insteadofcursedJudas。Hewasnotbad。Hehadonlyonefailing——thefailingthatmakesthedifferencebetweenasaintandavillain,alltheworldover——hewasacoward;hewasafraidofbeingpoor。)

\"Theysawhim,paleandsilent,draggednowbeforethepriestsofhisowncountrymen,andnowbeforetheRomanGovernor,whilethevoiceofthepeople——thepeoplewhohadcried’Hosanna’tohim——

shouted’Crucifyhim!crucifyhim!’Theysawhimbleedingfromthecrownofthorns。Theysawhim,stillfollowedbythebarkingmob,sinkbeneaththeburdenofhiscross。Theysawthewomanwipethebloodysweatfromoffhisface。Theysawthelast,long,silentlookbetweenthemotherandtheson,as,journeyingupwardtohisdeath,hepassedherinthenarrowwaythroughwhichheoncehadriddeninbrief-livedtriumph。Theyheardherlowsobassheturnedaway,leaningonMaryMagdalen。Theysawhimnaileduponthecrossbetweenthethieves。Theysawthebloodstartfromhisside。TheyheardhislastcrytohisGod。Theysawhimrisevictoriousoverdeath。

\"FewbelievingChristiansamongthevastaudiencebutmusthavepassedoutfromthatstrangeplayhousewiththeirbeliefandlovestrengthened。TheGodoftheChristian,forhissake,becameaman,andlivedandsufferedanddiedasaman;and,asaman,living,suffering,dyingamongothermen,hehadthatdayseenhim。

\"Themanofpowerfulimaginationneedsnoaidfrommimicry,howeverexcellent,howeverreverent,tounrollbeforehiminitssimplegrandeurthegreattragedyonwhichthecurtainfellatCalvarysomeeighteenandahalfcenturiesago。

\"Acultivatedmindneedsnostoryofhumansufferingtowinorholdittoafaith。

\"Buttheimaginativeandculturedarefewandfarbetween,andthepeasantsofOber-Ammergaucanplead,astheirMasterhimselfoncepleaded,thattheyseeknottohelpthelearnedbutthelowly。

\"Theunbeliever,also,passesoutintothevillagestreetfulloffoodforthought。Therudesermonpreachedinthishillsidetemplehasshowntohim,clearerthanhecouldhaveseenbefore,thesecretwhereinliesthestrengthofChristianity;thereasonwhy,ofallthefaithsthatNaturehastaughttoherchildrentohelpthemintheirneed,tosatisfythehungeroftheirsouls,thisfaith,bornbytheSeaofGalilee,hasspreadthefarthestovertheworld,andstruckitsnotethedeepestintohumanlife。Notbyhisdoctrines,notevenbyhispromises,hasChristlaidholdupontheheartsofmen,butbythestoryofhislife。\"

TUESDAY,THE27TH——CONTINUED

WeDiscussthePerformance。——AMarvellousPieceofWorkmanship。——

TheAdamFamily。——SomeLivingGroups。——TheChiefPerformers。——AGoodMan,butaBadJudas。——WheretheHistrionicArtistGrowsWild。——AnAlarm!

\"AndwhatdoyouthinkoftheperformanceASaperformance?\"asksB。

\"Oh,astothat,\"Ireply,\"Ithinkwhateveryonewhohasseentheplaymustthink,thatitisamarvellouspieceofworkmanship。

\"Experiencedprofessionalstage-managers,withallthetricksandmethodsofthetheatreattheirfingers’ends,finditimpossible,outofabodyofmenandwomenbornandbredintheatmosphereoftheplayhouse,toconstructacrowdthatlookslikeanythingelseexceptanervousgroupofbroken-downpauperswaitingforsoup。

\"AtOber-Ammergauafewvillagepriestsandrepresentativehouseholders,whohaveprobablynever,anyoneofthem,beeninsidethewallsofatheatreintheirlives,dealingwithpeasantswhohavewalkedstraightuponthestagefromtheircarvingbenchesandmilking-stools,produceswayingmultitudesandclamouringmobsanddignifiedassemblages,sonaturalandtruthful,sorealisticoftheoriginalstheyrepresent,thatyoufeelyouwanttoleapuponthestageandstranglethem。